Does anyone out their preschoolers in school?

[Meadowlark]

So, I admit we are having a rough start to the year. Not surprising because I have a 1, 2, and 3 year old in the mix. It's too late for this year, but I'm fantasizing about next year sending my then 4 yr. old to preschool, and maybe the then 3 yr. old a few times a week. Where I live, 4 yr. old preschool (3 hours a day/5x a week) is free. I would have to pay a monthly rate for the 3 yr. old. Ouch,yes but maybe worth it?

 

Yes, I know the biggest obstacle would be transportation, but my retired parents might be able to at least transport one way. Yes, we'd be tied to a calendar but we honestly don't go very many places so that won't really matter.

 

I just have no energy to give to these little people. I am not going to make sensory bins, play dough, do crafts realistically. I'm drained already with the older two in 1st and 2nd. I really have no problem with preschool and am seriously considering it. Has anyone else done it?

 

My oldest did go to 3 yr. old preschool 2x/week and we all loved it. This would be 5x a week and all 5 days are required in order for it to be free. Im dreaming about not having to teach the preschool type stuff!

[Moxie]

Yep. My 4yo goes to half-day pre-k. She gets to color, sing, play with kids her age, go on field trips, make messes, all the stuff we can't or don't do at home. Her teacher is like a character out of a Disney movie with her smiles and cheerfulness. She is home by lunch. So far, we're all loving it!

[mamaraby]

I did with my middle child, but since it was only a couple of hours (4k paid for by the school district) it wasn't as helpful as I thought it would be when you added in travel time. If it had been a half-day that might have tipped the balance. My youngest is 4yo now and I skipped t for her. Of course, it's easier with just the one. :0)

[Tidbits of Learning]

Yes, when my youngest was 3 turning 4.  My older kids all went to day school as well back before I ever thought about homeschooling.  The year my youngest was 3, I had a 7 yr old, a 9 yr old, and a 10 yr old.  So a 2nd, 4th, and 5th grader.  Sending my youngest to day school was the only way we could get school done.  

Believe it or not, I got him into day school about 3-4 weeks after school had started.  I called around until I found an opening for him.  It wasn't that hard and since they wanted someone for the spot...they worked with me the first 2 months getting the payments situated.

I would try to find somewhere that has a day school and a mom's day out.  That way you could enroll everyone but your school age child/children.  You would at least get a 2 to 3 day a week break if not more.  

 

So, I admit we are having a rough start to the year. Not surprising because I have a 1, 2, and 3 year old in the mix. It's too late for this year, but I'm fantasizing about next year sending my then 4 yr. old to preschool, and maybe the then 3 yr. old a few times a week. Where I live, 4 yr. old preschool (3 hours a day/5x a week) is free. I would have to pay a monthly rate for the 3 yr. old. Ouch,yes but maybe worth it?

Yes, I know the biggest obstacle would be transportation, but my retired parents might be able to at least transport one way. Yes, we'd be tied to a calendar but we honestly don't go very many places so that won't really matter.

I just have no energy to give to these little people. I am not going to make sensory bins, play dough, do crafts realistically. I'm drained already with the older two in 1st and 2nd. I really have no problem with preschool and am seriously considering it. Has anyone else done it?

My oldest did go to 3 yr. old preschool 2x/week and we all loved it. This would be 5x a week and all 5 days are required in order for it to be free. Im dreaming about not having to teach the preschool type stuff!

 

[Beebug123]

I did. My ODD started public school and I enrolled YDD so that I could volunteer some in ODDs class. I ended up pulling ODD halfway through 1st to begin homeschooling. My ODD can be pretty dominate and my YDD really got to get out of her big sisters shadow and make her own friends. My YDD really enjoyed going so I left her in the class for a few years. We used those days to get the more nuts and bolts done and did the hands on science when YDD was around. She went very part time, only 2 half days a week. Plus she learned how to write her name and all of her letters/sounds and numbers. It was a private preschool and I was very comfortable with her there.

[librarymama]

Oh my gosh, YES! I love my babies, but getting a break from each other for few hours a few days a week makes us all happier. They get to go play, have fun, and hear books read by another person, while my older child and I can really focus and get stuff done that requires concentration, without having constant interruptions.  

 

 

[librarymama]

Let me add... My oldest did preK where he learned to write and the beginning of phonics. It was wonderful! My middle son learned letter sounds last year in preschool and we are taking off with reading now. Having a little help from outside isn't a bad thing! 

 

[Erica in OR]

We did when the two oldest were young. It was our own church's preschool though, so we knew the teacher very well and what was being taught, plus my husband (pastor) was able to take care of transportation with it being less than a mile away.

 

Erica in OR

[Meadowlark]

I don't, no. For us, especially, having the little ones at home instead of away is crucial to character training, and mine really can't obediently deal with another person's authority that long, they do best when I can keep them closer and correct them more quickly.

 

For the little ones in this house, school involves interruptions by them with various things but it's all quite manageable. We keep special activities and puzzles just for school, play doh on trays, painting activities, and safe spaces for them to play with a particular box of toys or an item. That has worked for the almost-four year old very well the last two years.

 

I wouldn't personally put the preschooler up for what is essentially babysitting, but that's a choice for each individual family. I think a stronger argument can be made for putting older children into school than younger, when it comes to the benefits.

 

I know it is tough with infants, toddlers and preschoolers around for schooltime. Last year I had NO independent workers, everyone needed intensive instruction, and the littles all needing nursing or supervision. It was tricky. But it can be done. If you're interested in specifics I can give details and others can chime in, too. If you're just looking for affirmation of the concept there may well be other families who have done it. But we didnt, and survived just fine :)

 

By the way, I'm not saying it is EASY, but there is a world of difference being easy and doable ;)

I know it CAN be done (doing it right now) but not sure I WANT to do it. Actually, I think what they can provide is way beyond babysitting. As Moxie mentioned, they would be singing, doing art, playing with things we don't have and just having fun. Much more fun than they're having at home listening to brothers soelling, math, etc. I'm so stressed trying to fit everything in right now, and I'm just not able to give them much attention. Love? Of course but not much else.

 

Yes, I have busy bags, bins, and know every trick in the book about rotating toys, etc. But the truth is, nothing works perfectly and I'm just kind of tired. I will have to pull out a few tricks for this year, but I'm definitely thinking preschool next year might be in the cards for us.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I only have two and they are close in age, so I didn't send them to preschool to get them out of the house while I was trying to school or anything, but I did send them to a wonderful preschool.  It was entirely play based, and they loved it.  They made some little friends, got to explore new toys and books, played on a cool playground, got to bring a special snack for their birthday.  I made a bunch of great friends of the fellow moms, too.  Our kids are 10 & 11 now, and the moms still get together every few months for girls night out.  One of the best things I've ever done was pick that preschool for my kids.

[madteaparty]

My 3 year old is going to a really excellent Montessori school, 2 days a week to start, perhaps full time later on. They have sheep and chickens and such :)

[Tidbits of Learning]

 Could you swing it if you found a spot right now?  You should call around.  A lot of times people that reserved spots in the spring might have moved or chose a different school.  I would look into it, plus a lot of the day schools here don't start until September.  Mom's day out as well.  At least at the church schools, it normally starts after regular school.  

 

I know it CAN be done (doing it right now) but not sure I WANT to do it. Actually, I think what they can provide is way beyond babysitting. As Moxie mentioned, they would be singing, doing art, playing with things we don't have and just having fun. Much more fun than they're having at home listening to brothers soelling, math, etc. I'm so stressed trying to fit everything in right now, and I'm just not able to give them much attention. Love? Of course but not much else.

Yes, I have busy bags, bins, and know every trick in the book about rotating toys, etc. But the truth is, nothing works perfectly and I'm just kind of tired. I will have to pull out a few tricks for this year, but I'm definitely thinking preschool next year might be in the cards for us.

 

[MotherGoose]

I put my 3 yo in preschool when my oldest was in 1st. Her sister had gone to preschool and I wanted her to, also. I don't think there's anything wrong with it, and her teachers were wonderful. What bothered me was the transportation and the disruption to the day. It was 20 mins away round trip, add in going in and picking up, and it took 45 mins to an hour to get there and back. My other dd was only 6, so the transitions were hard for her too. It would probably have been more productive had we all stayed home. However, I don't regret sending her, it was good for her and would do it again. You have more kids than I do, but just think about the logistics very carefully before you try it. I have a compliant dd, wasn't worried about her behavior, and the kids were nice, of nice families for the most part too.

[mathnmusic]

I'd probably toss my half dead body on flaming hot coals before letting my kids set foot in a public school classroom. 

 

Wow. 

[Joyful Journeys]

My daughter was supposed to go to prek this fall and get speech therapy. I was actually a bit sad that she has progressed so much on her own that the staff felt she didn't need to be there. She and I were so looking forward to her having something special just for her. As the middle she child is starting to feel lost, I can tell. A couple hours to play with new toys, new kids, heck yea. Her teachers were rays of sunshine, so very sweet. So since she's home now, I'm going to ramp up and be a little more intentional with doing LoE, maybe Saxon K, just to force myself to make time for her specifically in the same way I do with my oldest.

 

Conversely, my oldest went to preK and I firmly believe it was the start of her anxiety. She had one teacher who while nice on the outside was very harsh with them and had I not been able to sit in on classes to see for myself what she was dealing with, to the point she became physically sick during snack time, I would have kept sending her in hopes she'd "get used to school." This continued in public K to a slightly lesser extent and I finally pulled her out. So, wherever it is, make sure you know exactly what's going on.

[Coco_Clark]

I'd do it part time (1-2 days) but no, not 5 days a week. At that point I'd fear they were getting more peer/teacher influence than family/parent influence. Like Arctic Momma I believe these are the years most ripe for character building.

 

I'd also worry about how that would affect things when brought back home. Would they be bored, having been used to round the clock friends and planned activities? Would they clamor for school?

[FairProspects]

Yes, we sent both to a fabulous Montessori preschool 2-3 days a week. I would do it again in a heartbeat. :)

[lots of little ducklings]

Yup- two mornings a week.  we have a fabulous nursery school just up the road, and my children have all benefitted greatly from it.  The school's focus is social (academics are addressed only as the child seems ready for it), and their faith and mission align with ours, so it's been a great fit.  

 

Pros: We can only afford one child per year (I have lots of littles), but just taking one out of the mix is refreshing to all of us and gives me more uninterrupted one-on-one time.  Each child so far has loved having their own space apart from the family, and grown tremendously through it.  So far none have had trouble transitioning back to homeschooling for Kindy.  

 

Cons: There's only one, really (not including the cost, which of course is a con).  DH does morning drop-off, but that dang lunch-time pick-up is annoying.  Still worth the hassle IMO though.  It's been great for our family.

[ByGrace3]

When my older 2 were 4, I sent them to preschool. It's where we were in life. With #1, I had a toddler and was pregnant/had a newborn and knew I couldn't give her what I desired for an at home preschool year and I needed the break. With #2 I knew starting first grade was a big academic jump and thought I could use the break. Honestly It was what I needed and it was fine, but academically #2 would have been much better off at home. Even though he went to the same pre-k as my first, he had a different teacher and I spent too much time in K undoing the sight word mess his pre-k teacher has done.

 

My youngest is staying home. It's inconvenient and unnecessary to send her...but she is the youngest so I don't have to deal with other Littles. ;)

 

I don't think it's a bad thing if you need it, just go in with both eyes open.

[LucyStoner]

I wanted to but we couldn't find one we could afford with hours we liked. I would so totally have done it if we had a larger budget. Trying to educate a 4th/5th grader with a 3-4 year old under foot was a challenge and that's with a pretty "easy" 3-4 year old. Now he is almost 6, big bro is 6th grade and they can better do-exist for school purposes.

[desertflower]

Wow!  You are busy!  You are so blessed to have 5 kids.  I only have 3.

 

I feel for you.......I can see why you are contemplating sending one of your kids to public school. 

 

One thing you may want to consider is will your 4 year old feel left out?  If I'm understanding this correctly you'll have your then 8, 7, 3, and 2 year old at home?

 

Is there any way you can lighten your load this year?  combine history?  do less science? 

 

Next year will be a whole new ballgame.  Your then 8 year old may be doing more work independently.  Your then 2 year may not be clinging to your side. .....who knows?

 

Every family is different.  If this is what you need, then this is what you'll have to do.  I think it'll all work out.  :)

 

Good luck.  This is supposed to be a fun journey not a stressful one.  :) 

[Meadowlark]

Wow! You are busy! You are so blessed to have 5 kids. I only have 3.

 

I feel for you.......I can see why you are contemplating sending one of your kids to public school.

 

One thing you may want to consider is will your 4 year old feel left out? If I'm understanding this correctly you'll have your then 8, 7, 3, and 2 year old at home?

 

Is there any way you can lighten your load this year? combine history? do less science?

 

 

Next year will be a whole new ballgame. Your then 8 year old may be doing more work independently. Your then 2 year may not be clinging to your side. .....who knows?

 

Every family is different. If this is what you need, then this is what you'll have to do. I think it'll all work out. :)

 

Good luck. This is supposed to be a fun journey not a stressful one. :)

You're right. I am so blessed. Thanks for reminding me of that; I needed to hear it.

 

You're also right that next year might look totally different, This has been a bad week which may be clouding my judgement. My older two boys are struggling with their schoolwork and we've had lots of tears, both theirs and mine. Throw in a 1 yr. old climbing on top of the table all.day.long, a 2 year old still having potty accidents, and a 3 yr. old clearly wanting my attention, and you've got one stressed out mama. I know it's a stage of life and I'm often the one preaching that "this too shall pass" but I'm now in the thick of it myself and it is HARD.

 

Regarding the preschool thing....I would have to send my 4 yr. old 5 days a week for it to be free. Bummer I know, I would love to do 2 days a week, but then would have to pay. I have been thinking hard about the logistics and know it would be challenging. The only way it would work would be if my parents got him/them there. I think I could pick them up at 11:15 because we'd have most of our work done by then. I had not thought of him being bored possibly....that's an interesting thought to entertain. I sure would hate for that to happen! It's our church's preschool and I have confidence in the quality for sure. It's only 5 minutes from our house. It also might help build some community which couldn't hurt me either. It sure is interesting hearing all of the different perspectives though :-)

[Guest submarines]

I wouldn't. Little ones need their parents to imprint upon, not equally immature 3 and 4 year old peers. For our family the whole point of homeschooling is to avoid this kind of "socialization." This might sound harsh, but if a parent feels she can't deal with the younger 2 or 3 children and provide for their emotional and intellectual growth, it is time to reassess how homeschooling is done so that every family member can be included and supported and the stress minimzed, rather than shipping the younger two off during their most impressionable years.

 

Also, in terms of practical reasons--think about all the colds and flus they'll be bringing home.

[Meadowlark]

 

I wouldn't. Little ones need their parents to imprint upon, not equally immature 3 and 4 year old peers. For our family the whole point of homeschooling is to avoid this kind of "socialization." This might sound harsh, but if a parent feels she can't deal with the younger 2 or 3 children and provide for their emotional and intellectual growth, it is time to reassess how homeschooling is done so that every family member can be included and supported and the stress minimzed, rather than shipping the younger two off during their most impressionable years.

 

Also, in terms of practical reasons--think about all the colds and flus they'll be bringing home.

 

I hear you. I am always trying to figure out how to do this better. I felt like a failure this week for sure.

 

But...I personally don't see the harm in a few hours a day. For me, it's when they spend 8 hours that I say "no way". We had a great experience with 3 yr. old preschool 2x/week with my oldest. Actually he still is friends with those kids and I'm still friends with their moms, it was great. I guess it ultimately comes down to if one truly thinks preschool is a good influence or a bad one. My view is that it's positive. I'm just not crazy about getting them there, the cost, and the frequency.

[SeaConquest]

My oldest went to 3 fabulous immersion preschools, beginning at 2.5. He did French 3 days per week, Spanish 2 days per week, and Hebrew 1 day per week. I plan to do the same with my youngest when the time comes -- likely in another year or two -- so that I can focus my attention on my oldest and give my youngest the same experience big brother had. My oldest really blossomed in preschool; he is quite an extrovert and really loved playing with other kids. It's also pretty cool that he is almost quadrilingual at age 5. I don't share the anti-preschool sentiment at all.

[Heidi]

My kids love preschool! It's 3 hours of fun while I teach my big kids. Then I can focus on the little ones when they come home. I don't see the problem.

[Lissande]

I outsource during the preschool years, too. Part of it is for them to learn the community language - I could teach it myself, but it wouldn't be as authentic from me as a non-native speaker, and I'd rather concentrate on providing a rich English environment in our home.

 

The other part is the more interesting activities and things going on there, as mentioned above. I don't do sensory bins (etc.) and can't handle the crafts and mess that I believe are beneficial to little ones.

 

I am planning on bringing my younger one home once he is more fully bilingual and ready to learn at home. My older one mentioned the other day that her brother will sadly be forced to go to public school (first grade in a few years), because I'll be busy teaching her and have no time to do anything with him. I said maybe she will go to school then and I will teach him and she answered, "Um, no. I'm never going to school."

 

I guess it's first come, first served as far as she is concerned. :-D

 

Another vote for "preschool is fun" from me!

[sewingmama]

I sent my oldest 2 off to kindy when they were 4 and I wasn't even schooling older siblings. They begged to go and I let them and they loved it. It was 3 hours a day 3x a week but 5 days is beneficial as it gets them into a better routine.

 

My kids were already reading and writing when I sent them and they were not bored. They didn't do academics there...they just played and did art and spent an hour of that time outside playing in the huge yard. Nothing boring about that.

 

I didn't end up sending my youngest though. We moved and the local kindy was nowhere near as good as the former one. Plus it was full day which is something I didn't want to do.

 

I got lucky with him though...he has always been excellent at just playing with his toys alone so he never really interrupted our schooling. Now that he is old enough he joins in when he wants and has his own things to do....but for the biggest part of our school day he is no bother.

[happypamama]

AmySue, HUGS mama! It is hard homeschooling with littles. Last year, I had a newborn (he was actually the easy one, LOL, because for several months, he pretty much just nursed or slept), a 2yo, a new 5yo who wanted to do everything the big kids did, a 3rd grader in his first year of needing to get a portfolio filled, and a 6th grader whose worked stepped up a lot, necessitating more input from me. I was busy!

 

I have not done preschool, partly because it's not financially or geographically feasible for us at all, but truly, I can see the appeal, and it don't think it's entirely a bad idea. I think there could be a lot of benefits to it. I think it will have its own downsides, but it could work. Don't let other people tell you they'd never do such and such -- they aren't you, and they aren't living your life and raising your family, so how are they to know whether it might be a right choice for your family?

 

I do spend a fair amount of time setting up activities for the little to do, and I make a point to spend some time working with and reading to them in the morning, but no matter what, littles mean interruptions, and that's just the way it is. You have my understanding and sympathy!

[wintermom]

But...I personally don't see the harm in a few hours a day. For me, it's when they spend 8 hours that I say "no way". We had a great experience with 3 yr. old preschool 2x/week with my oldest. Actually he still is friends with those kids and I'm still friends with their moms, it was great. I guess it ultimately comes down to if one truly thinks preschool is a good influence or a bad one. My view is that it's positive. I'm just not crazy about getting them there, the cost, and the frequency.

 

I just don't understand your post. You've done this before, you want to do it again. So do it. Are you looking for support for your decision? I don't think this has to be a debate at all. You'll find some people have put their dc in pre-school and will again, and some won't under pretty much any circumstances. I'm in the "won't" camp, but that should have no influence on your family's decision.

[Gentlemommy]

I never felt like I'd want to with dd1 or dd2, but dd3??? She's.....difficult. It would be a million times easier if I had a solid two to three hours without her. Her personality is such that she is incessant about needing attention, supervision, redirection, and guidance. However, because of her 'more' behavior, I've been hesitant to leave her in someone else's care. She can be fairly frustrating, and I would hate for her to be labeled *that kid*. Plus, she is very anxious about being left. She is almost 4 now, and I can somewhat see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

What I did last year was hire a mothers helper to come twice a week for two hours. That was great. She walked her to the playground, or went out front and let her ride her bike, or played ball...kept her occupied and safe so I could work with my older two in peace. Would that be an option for you?? That way you'd have help for all the little ones...Honestly, if I had it my way, I'd do that again, for three days per week. Sadly, she took on a full time job so I can't. My dh works out of town and will come home sporadically for a day or three. I have no help from him.

 

Mama, you have three tiny kids and your older two aren't that big yet. I don't know how you are getting anything accomplished!!! If preschool would be helpful to you, and give everyone some breathing room, try it! You can always change your mind, nothing has to be permanent.

 

Another idea that we found works is to work with one older kid at a time, and the other older kid is the 'babysitter'. They play in the back yard, or upstairs, or 'supervise' a messy craft or activity. It works for about half hour at a time, sometimes up to an hour. I have four milk crates full of preschool toys and activities (nothing fancy, just raw materials-Pom poms, pipe cleaners, clay, paint, sand, ect), and the big girls (age 6 and 9) are welcome to take them out and play with the 3 year old. They do those things in the dining room (converted into an art space), which is separated from the kitchen (where we do school) by a wall, but no door. So I can hear them, but they aren't a total distraction. Maybe something like this could work for the 2 and 3 year olds? During the 1 year olds nap? Or while he/she sits in a highchair having a snack?

 

I hope you find a good solution that helps and works for everyone. PreK (or school for that matter) isn't evil, it isn't the end of your authority/influence as a parent. It isn't the solution for every family, and it certainly isn't necessary for 'academics'. If the child likes it, and it's helping you get things accomplished, having a few hours to play with friends is great! And it won't ruin the child. Having a baby sitter/mothers helper come and share the load of caring for the littlest kids isn't going to undermine you. I'm good friends with our sitter. She does fun things like take the kids to her barn and let them play with the horses! They adore her. No, she isn't me, and has her own way of doing things, but ya know what? Me having three hours to run errands, or relax or just sit and drink coffee is necessary for my mental health. It is so worth it.

 

I know *I* wouldn't be able to do school and be a patient mother to a 1, 2, and 3 year olds. You are doing a great job! Give yourself a break and do what YOU need to be healthy and happy.

[Tidbits of Learning]

Regarding the preschool thing....I would have to send my 4 yr. old 5 days a week for it to be free. Bummer I know, I would love to do 2 days a week, but then would have to pay. I have been thinking hard about the logistics and know it would be challenging. The only way it would work would be if my parents got him/them there. I think I could pick them up at 11:15 because we'd have most of our work done by then. I had not thought of him being bored possibly....that's an interesting thought to entertain. I sure would hate for that to happen! It's our church's preschool and I have confidence in the quality for sure. It's only 5 minutes from our house. It also might help build some community which couldn't hurt me either. It sure is interesting hearing all of the different perspectives though :-)

 

I have had 4 kids go to day school/ preschool (whichever you prefer to call it) and they were never, ever bored!  It was a busy 3-4 hours packed at the day school.  They got music and movement, gym (with little people their size and games for their age), letters, numbers, crafts, and all the fun they coudl handle.  I just can't imagine ever thinking day school would be boring.  It isn't book work at this age.  They are interacting with them the whole time they are there.  

The community does help.  We had fun things to do during Halloween and at Christmas there was the program to invite relatives to come see.  There was the pilgrim and indian Thanksgiving Feast.  The Easter hat parades.  The class parties for all of the holidays.  I wouldn't trade my kids going to day school for anything.  

[fruitofthewomb]

I have a similar situation and it is very HARD! I recently hired a mothers helper & it has been so wonderful! She lives very close so her mom drops her off & picks her up. She comes twice a week for 4 hours. It has relieved so much stress!

 

This is a hard season & sometimes we just do what we have to to survive. If you need preschool to help you manage for a while-do it! And just know you aren't alone. On any given day I have a crying 3rd grader, confused 1st grader, defiant 4 yr old, needy 2 year old, & fussy baby. We will survive (right?)

[fairfarmhand]

I would have if

 

1 it were free

2 it were a good place

3. it were a half day

[nature girl]

Some of the righteousness here is bothering me. Like, "Well I was in the same situation, and sure it was hard but I sacrificed myself because I would never want my little kids to learn from someone who wasn't me and didn't share my same values. But that's just me! Obviously some people have other priorities!" Ugh.

 

Preschool is usually lovely and fun for kids, led by teachers who adore their children and their job and are able to offer the energy/fun/opportunities/excitement/variety of activities that a busy mother just doesn't have the time or energy to provide. Preschool teachers know how to keep children in line in a very gentle, loving way, they DO teach the same values that every parent wants their children to learn. And as for being tainted by other kids, little 3/4 year olds aren't evil, they're not going to teach each other bad things, they're every bit as sweet and innocent as your own children. If someone here hasn't put her children in preschool, she really has no place to say how it will affect a young child.

 

In your situation, AmySue, I would take the opportunity in a heartbeat. It sounds like a good choice for ALL your family, because an unhappy, stressed mom makes for an unhappy, stressed home. It's not something to ever feel guilty about, or like you're not a good enough mother, you're an amazing mother who only wants the very best for all your children and wonders if this might be the way to get it. Nobody should ever judge you for that.

[foxbridgeacademy]

I sent DD to pre-school 3ish hours a day 5 days a week but she got to ride a little bus just for pre-schoolers.  If I had to do the drop off and pick up every day? Nope wouldn't have been worth the time.  With that said, I'd still probably give it a try in your situation, especially if you can work out transportation for one way and I'd also look into having someone take the littlest a couple days a week too.  Then again getting 3 under 4 y.olds ready to go might be more time consuming and stressful then making up busy boxes and investing in a bunch of kitchen play toys. What about spending the money you would have on Pre-school, gas etc... on a mother's helper a couple days a week? 

[Allearia]

Mine both went to preschool and it was wonderful. Part of that time they even went extended days. It was so helpful when I started homeschooling my older to have my younger elsewhere for a few hours. It was completely play based, so while they did a tiny bit a day of the alphabet and such they still got all their learning from me at home. I also felt that neither of my children were getting the attention they needed, and I was really overwhelmed. And I only have two! But younger ds was challenging.

 

The only issues for me were drop off and pick up, my husband doesn't drive so I had to do every single one on my own which with parking was about 45 minutes round trip (and the school was only 15 minutes away!) there was a park across the street though so a lot of the time after we picked up my younger we would play for a couple of hours so my older got some free outside play time. But it left not as much time as you would think for homeschooling.

 

I have no regrets except thinking about the money I spent on that school. I am in the Bay Area and let me tell you, sometimes thinking about how much of that I could have saved for college! But I'm sure most people are a lot smarter than me and find cheaper or free options.

[fairfarmhand]

Some of the righteousness here is bothering me. Like, "Well I was in the same situation, and sure it was hard but I sacrificed myself because I would never want my little kids to learn from someone who wasn't me and didn't share my same values. But that's just me! Obviously some people have other priorities!" Ugh.

 

Preschool is usually lovely and fun for kids, led by teachers who adore their children and their job and are able to offer the energy/fun/opportunities/excitement/variety of activities that a busy mother just doesn't have the time or energy to provide. Preschool teachers know how to keep children in line in a very gentle, loving way, they DO teach the same values that every parent wants their children to learn. And as for being tainted by other kids, little 3/4 year olds aren't evil, they're not going to teach each other bad things, they're every bit as sweet and innocent as your own children. If someone here hasn't put her children in preschool, she really has no place to say how it will affect a young child.

 

In your situation, AmySue, I would take the opportunity in a heartbeat. It sounds like a good choice for ALL your family, because an unhappy, stressed mom makes for an unhappy, stressed home. It's not something to ever feel guilty about, or like you're not a good enough mother, you're an amazing mother who only wants the very best for all your children and wonders if this might be the way to get it. Nobody should ever judge you for that.

 

:iagree:

 

Everyone has differing tolerances for chaos that littles bring. Everyone juggles things just a little bit differently. I have a higher tolerance for clutter and mess, but I don't criticize those who hire a cleaning lady because they just can't stand the mess piled up around them.

 

Do what is best for YOUR family.

 

Remember that this is not an irreversible decision.

 

[Rachel]

I thought about sending my 4 yo to preschool this year but around here it's really expensive.

 

I personally wouldn't choose a 5 day program because I wouldn't want to be tied to the schedule, but if you think it would be good for your family go for it. If it doesn't work out you can always pull your daughter out.

 

An alternative would be to see if your parents would be interested in special time with your 3 yo a couple times a week.

[PeachyDoodle]

I wouldn't. Little ones need their parents to imprint upon, not equally immature 3 and 4 year old peers. For our family the whole point of homeschooling is to avoid this kind of "socialization." This might sound harsh, but if a parent feels she can't deal with the younger 2 or 3 children and provide for their emotional and intellectual growth, it is time to reassess how homeschooling is done so that every family member can be included and supported and the stress minimzed, rather than shipping the younger two off during their most impressionable years.

 

Also, in terms of practical reasons--think about all the colds and flus they'll be bringing home.

 

Wow, really? You're right -- that does sound harsh.

 

We send our kids to preschool. We have zero qualms about it. For our family, it helps both school and home to run more smoothly.

 

DD went to preschool even though we were considering homeschooling her starting in K. It was a church-based school, only 5 minutes from our home, and reasonably priced. It was a fantastic experience for her and I'm glad we did it. She was an only child at the time, and we live in a rural area, so getting some time with friends was great for her. The school shared both our social/religious and academic (i.e., play-based vs. academic-based at this age) values, so I don't believe being with someone other than me did her an ounce of harm. She wound up (due to some unforeseen factors) going to public school for K-2, which was FAR worse.

 

Since we've started homeschooling, DS has gone to the same preschool a few mornings per week, for the same reasons we sent DD. And there is the added bonus of a little quiet, uninterrupted time for me to work with DD on school. I get plenty of one-on-one time with DS at other times. And the truth is, I am not great at the preschooler thing. I am much better suited to teaching/managing at an older level. I also work from home, and I know my physical and mental limits. Preschool DOES allow us to make sure EVERYONE'S needs are met in the way that best suits him/her. It's rather rude to insinuate that families who choose to use a preschool/mother's morning out program don't have the best interest of all their members in mind. We're all doing the best we can.

[Lissande]

 

And the truth is, I am not great at the preschooler thing. I am much better suited to teaching/managing at an older level. I also work from home, and I know my physical and mental limits. Preschool DOES allow us to make sure EVERYONE'S needs are met in the way that best suits him/her.

 

This is reality for me as well.

[Meadowlark]

I have had 4 kids go to day school/ preschool (whichever you prefer to call it) and they were never, ever bored! It was a busy 3-4 hours packed at the day school. They got music and movement, gym (with little people their size and games for their age), letters, numbers, crafts, and all the fun they coudl handle. I just can't imagine ever thinking day school would be boring. It isn't book work at this age. They are interacting with them the whole time they are there.

The community does help. We had fun things to do during Halloween and at Christmas there was the program to invite relatives to come see. There was the pilgrim and indian Thanksgiving Feast. The Easter hat parades. The class parties for all of the holidays. I wouldn't trade my kids going to day school for anything.

Sorry, I think I was unclear. By "bored" I meant after he came home...his K year that is. I think what the pp was referring to is if your child is in a stimulating environment 5 days a week, and that is what he is accustomed to, it might be hard then to be home the next year.

[Tidbits of Learning]

Mine didn't have an issue with coming home after doing pre-school.  I did make sure he had friends his age though and we do homeschool co-op.  He did sports, scouts (at the local Catholic church pack), and that sort of thing.  I didn't really think about it in advance.  For the season we were in...preschool was great for him and us.  Then when that season was over we just came home...it wasn't like the day school had a kindergarten...it was just pre-k day school so there was never him thinking but next year I could go into this class or that class.

I just think it is better to find what works for you in this time of your life and not stress a year from now.  I will tell you burn out is easy when you have stair steps.  Sending my stair steps to day school really saved my sanity.  Bringing them home to home school years later saved my sanity at a different stage in our family's journey of life.  Now, I have sent my oldest back to high school and yet again it was the right choice for where we are right now.

I would really encourage you to think about where you are now in life, your feelings, how much you can handle, what would be best for the kids, and everything.  I am still learning in this parenting game, but what I have learned the most through the years is to make things work for us where we are at the moment.  I quit thinking into the future trying to map it all out years in advance.  

[Tracy]

I have been really drained every since I had my first.  I finally figured out that there was a medical reason why.  I don't think there is anything I could have done to get that diagnosis sooner.  But if I could have a heart-to-heart with my self of 5 years ago, I would encourage her to try out preschool.  

 

I don't think it matters why you are so drained--just that you have that to deal with.  If it would give you some time to breath and rest, then it may be worth it.  OTOH, your children will inevitably learn things there that you wouldn't want them to learn.  You will need to decide if it is still worth it.  

 

But you also need to consider what you are going to do with the youngest if the other 2 are in preschool.  It can be even harder to have that one little one at home.  But perhaps your older kids can take turns playing with the little one.  

[Tidbits of Learning]

 So, take a few minutes and include your little guys in your day-to-day life. 

 

Sending your kid to preschool does not mean you don't include your little guys in your life.  The op is overwhelmed right now and I don't think they are looking for hey I wouldn't do this and it will be the end of the world or hey you need to try a little harder to include your little ones. 

[ElizaG]

My littles learned to entertain themselves--I don't believe that children need parents hovering all the time. The little guys just came along with whatever we were doing with the big girls. (...) Want movement activities? Have them dance to that new Joplin rag that big sis is learning. Put on Carnival of the Animals. Can you move like the elephant? Later on, when your youngest learns The Swan on her cello, she'll smile, because she remembers dancing to it. Host a Christmas play every year--maybe you'll even have an early lamb so as to have a REAL manger scene! Your big kid can write it and the next direct and invite the neighbors and let them be the donkey or whatever--pull out props from the dress-up box!

I'm glad you had such a lovely time.

 

From your signature, it looks as if you had five children in ~14 years, whereas the OP has had the same number in ~7 years.   As someone whose children's ages are just a bit more spread out than hers, I'd have to say that "15, 12, 6, 4, 1" and "7, 6, 3, 2, 1" are very different situations.   

 

With the first one, your life is full of big kid and older family activities, and you can fit the younger ones in.

 

With the second one, you're basically running a nursery, and trying to slot the older ones in.  You're trying to teach them to do chores and take care of everyday needs, which will be worth it in the long run, but they still need so much supervision and instruction that it more or less cancels out any practical help for now.  And none of them can be left alone in the house, let alone babysit siblings, even while you go to the store for 15 minutes.  Just about everything you're doing, all day, revolves around the needs of small children.  

 

It's not just the amount of work; it's the potential for feeling isolated (or just plain bonkers), and like you're in a tunnel with no end in sight.   In some ways, my life is easier now that my eldest is 10 than it was when she was 5, even though we have more children.   

 

And we did try putting her, and the 4 year old, in school that year.  It turned out not to be worth it, but that's not because so many things were going on at home for them to be part of.  No riding lessons, orchestra concerts, or newborn lambs here.  More like broken plastic ride-on toys, trying to keep the children from smearing the piano with peanut butter, and chasing the cat off the rug before she coughed up a hairball.   :D

[musicianmom]

I sent my middle child to preschool for two years, when she was 3 and 4.  My youngest went for his pre-K year when he was 4.  No regrets.  They had a great time.  Now, I didn't have a baby to deal with at drop-off and pick-up time, which would have made it a lot harder, and is a big reason why I didn't send my oldest to preschool.

 

 

[duckens]

I haven't read the other responses.

We have sent/are sending both of our girls to preschool.

In our town, we have a Cooperative Preschool.

20 kids.  2 teachers.  And 2 parent volunteers/day.  (1:5 ratio).   All parents take turns volunteering.  All parents work on a committee besides this.  It's not as if I'm abandoning my little one.

For older daughter, this gave her an opportunity to experience a "school setting" of following directions, being part of a group, negotiate play with friends, and (the biggie) be without mom.

Younger daughter starts Wednesday.  I already have grand plans of packing a backpack of older dd's Math, Phonics, and Writing, and we will work on these subjects in the church's student lounge while younger dd is in morning preschool. 

[reign]

I don't for the one of the same reasons I homeschool. The schools that are free, I don't want my children attending for several reasons. The schools I do like are too expensive or too far.

[texasmama]

Some of the righteousness here is bothering me. Like, "Well I was in the same situation, and sure it was hard but I sacrificed myself because I would never want my little kids to learn from someone who wasn't me and didn't share my same values. But that's just me! Obviously some people have other priorities!" Ugh.

 

No kidding!

 

I sent all three of my youngest kids to preschool, a small, church run, part-time program.  It was lovely, for them and for me.  During our first year of homeschooling, it allowed my little dd to be in a fun place while I worked with my boys.  It was 9 am-2pm Monday-Thursday.  Didn't hurt her a bit.  In fact, she loved it.  Wasn't very expensive.  Benefited the rest of us, as well.

 

My kids did not learn any values while there other than friendship, how to be part of a group, and some Bible verses (it was a church-run preschool).  I didn't object to them learning those things.