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Help me with my irrational fear before we go to CA


SquirrellyMama
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I love the ocean, but it terrifies me for my kids to go very far into it.  We've been to FL twice and to CA once already.  The first couple times the kids were really little, and they couldn't swim so it wasn't a big deal. TThey didn't ask, and we didn't stay long.

 

The last time we went to CA it was cold, and again it wasn't a huge deal that the kids didn't get to go in far.  This time we'll be there next week.  The weather looks lovely, and my 13 year old would like to go out past her knees :) 

 

Reassure me that my children will not be swept out to sea.  Please be gentle.  I've grown up my entire life surrounded by cornfields.

 

My children can all swim and so can I.

 

Kelly

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I think it is reasonable to set limitations. What about a don't go past your chest for the 13 yo dd. Especially if she can swim.  She can still have a good time. and will probably find spots where it is past her head. However, it will be a good reminder for her to stay within a certain bound and keep her from going out too far.

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The CA water is so darned cold, I wouldn't be surprised at all if your kids only wanted to go knee-deep!

 

Maybe more information could help you feel better--I seek info when my anxiety kicks up. Do you know how to recognize a rip tide? Will you be swimming/beaching only where the lifeguards are? (They won't let people in if there's a RT)

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Stick to beaches with lifeguards and set yourselves up near their stand.  

 

I have grown up around the ocean as have my kids (7 and 9) .  Our limit is no deeper than your armpits if the waves are low and no deeper than your waist if they are high (if I am out with them they are allowed to go out as far as I am willing, definitely over their heads).

 

Make sure they understand what rip currents are, how to spot them and how to get out of them if they do get caught in one.

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Are you willing to go into the water with them? Maybe that would make you feel more in control? They can hear you better, anyway. I like the idea of trying to find a beach with a lifeguard.

 

Oh yes, I will be in the water with them. I'm not sure I would let them past their knees without me. 

 

Kelly

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You need to ask lifeguards or locals about that particular beach and the day's weather and tides.  There are beaches that are quite safe for competent swimmers, and others (and certain weather conditions) where even an excellent swimmer could have trouble.  

 

Getting info from people who know will definitely give you important info, and might go a long way to ease your mind and help you set boundaries you're comfortable with.  

 

Have a great trip!

 

Amy

 

 

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The CA water is so darned cold, I wouldn't be surprised at all if your kids only wanted to go knee-deep!

 

Maybe more information could help you feel better--I seek info when my anxiety kicks up. Do you know how to recognize a rip tide? Will you be swimming/beaching only where the lifeguards are? (They won't let people in if there's a RT)

 

Often beaches fly flags when swimmers are not allowed in the water. Go near a life guard stand and help the lifeguard do his job by watching your dc constantly.

 

When my dd went to NYC a few years ago, I was sure she'd be killed. NOT in New York, oh, no. I was certain the bus she was on would crash and kill everyone in it. 

 

She was returned to me in one piece. I lost a few years off my life, but she had a blast.

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I grew up in California. We don't live by the beach, but we went there a lot, I played in the ocean and everything. When we go to the beach, I'm still a little nervous. There are rip tides and yes, occasionally sharks, but that's not so much an issue. I'd say, like everyone else, tell the kid they can go so far and no farther. And don't mistake dolphins for sharks. ;) I did that once, though fortunately I realized they were dolphins before I panicked and made a fool of myself.

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We always have a place with a pool and my opinion is pools are for swimming. Oceans are for exploring and the experience...and that exploration and experience can be had at knee level. None of my kids are strong swimmers and I have just started relaxing with them in the deep end of a pool and swimming without assistance..although, dh says they are fine and good swimmers.

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Another voice for setting up near the lifeguards, researching & sharing with your kids rip current info and any other local hazards, and setting reasonable limits based on their swimming ability. The beaches we went to when I was a kid had ropes held up by floats at the edges of the lifeguard watch swim areas. We weren't allowed outside the ropes or out past the last buoy.

 

If it helps at all, I've been swimming in the ocean since I was a bitty thing (I'm the happy one on the left), used to swim & bodysurf right after big storms, been caught in rip currents, stung by jellyfish, etc. etc. and I survived.  :coolgleamA:

 

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I grew up in CA, on the beach. Ours did not have lifeguards, but most every kid I knew took swim lessons, and knew "beach safety" rules. Make sure you review things with your kids, and give them a limit. If it helps you feel better, maybe knee high only for the first hour. After you and they get a better feel the particular beach you're at and a sense of the ocean that day, increase it. Okay, now you guys can go waist high, etc. 

 

Where are you going to be?

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I grew up swimming on the NC coast and was tumbled by big waves more times than I can count. :p  That said, as an adult, my appreciation of the dangers has greatly increased... and I tend to be a bit restrictive with my kids and the water.  (Thankfully, they're still young enough to be content with playing in the breakers.)

 

Story:  we just returned home from a week-long beach vacation.  At one point, I watched my oldest laying in the surf as the receding wave was pulling her back out a bit.  And a bit more.  And a bit more.  My mommy sense was buzzing but the next wave pushed her back up and she resumed play.  Later I asked her, "That wave was pulling you out pretty fast, yes?  Were you okay?"  And she replied, "Yeah... I thought I was going to be pulled out and lost at sea forever..."

 

 What?!   :blink:

I quickly let her know that if she ever felt in danger, she should yell for help.  SMH! :001_rolleyes:

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Some beaches in California are better suited for swimming while others have strong waves and are better suited for surfing. I would do a little research before you go and try to find a beach that is better for swimming and that has life guards. I would also suggest being near a life guard stand as they will always tell everyone if there are especially strong waves or rip currents that day. 

 

Then I would get in the water with them and have fun. The water is colder out here, so they might not want to stay in very long anyway. After swimming for a while go exploring. To me that is the best part of the beaches out here.  :)

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Another one who grew up just a few miles from the California coast.  If you're going to Northern California, the water will be too cold to stay out in it very long.  For the rest, it's good to have a healthy respect.  Take it a little at a time and find your comfort level.  Watch what other experienced ocean swimmers are doing and how far out they are.  Talk about what to do if the under-current pulls her out.  There are actually videos you can watch on Youtube.

 

Playing in the ocean often involves staying close to the shore;  you wait for the waves to break and glide in with them.

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I can't help. It is the ocean. There are under currents, sharks, etc. I have a healthy respect for it. I am cautious. I don't let mine go above their waist and then I still feel panic stricken.

 

:iagree: Me, too.  I am a sissy.  The San Diego area beaches are beautiful, and I loved jogging on them and building sandcastles and walking at the waterline.  But, for me, swimming is done in pools. Or the Gulf of Mexico.

 

To answer your question, though, I seem to recall that Pacific Beach was a good swimming beach.  The lifeguards, I believe, are firefighters/EMTs, as well.  Honestly, there should be lots of people around and most people tend to keep an eye out for the kids around them. You may find that the water temperature will solve the issue for you.  Brr!

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I'm having the same worries and my kids really aren't kids anymore. They are 16, 19 and 22. Actually I'm most worried about dh since he will go out far and then ds will go with. We are going to FL in a few weeks. I was already nervous about the usual things like rip tide and sharks but now I'm concerned about the new warning they have about the flesh eating bacteria in the warm water in FL.

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Are you going to Northern or Southern California? I grew up on the California beaches and for me, my comfort level depends entirely on which beach we're at. Some are safer than others. There are beaches where I'd let my kids go 50 yards out, and others where I won't let them go past their calves.

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Be very careful of Riptides!   Try to go to beaches that are not polluted by sewage!  Have a great time!

 

I'm a California native and I went to the beach in CA hundreds of times.  I got a few very bad sunburns, when I was very young, but nothing worse than that. Lesson: Use suncreen...

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We just spent the day with a bunch of homeschool families at Corona Del Mar, near Newport Beach. A lot of the parents prefer that beach because is it a little calmer and more protected from the larger waves than other beaches. Though there were some great boogie board waves that day; the kids had a ball in the water and barely came out long enough to eat, drink water and reapply the sunscreen. We were set up just in front of the lifeguard tower. The water was warm enough that day that I even went in the water up to the tops of my legs while several of us moms were talking.

 

I, too, still get nervous about my daughter, a pretty good swimmer who is 14 and 5'9" tall, going too far out. Just set some boundaries, keep an eye on them, and remind them to keep eye contact with you. The day we were there we were told there were lots of sting rays in the cove and to be careful, shuffling feet in the water rather than stepping. There was also a pod of dolphins playing just off shore, so that was an amazing sight for all of us.

 

I hope you enjoy your time here in so.Cal.

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We live in MN and just got back from a trip to the east coast. We went to a beach in Wilmington. My husband stayed in the water the entire time with our girls (10 and 8), while I was in and out. I'd say we were only up to our waists, and I made my husband keep a hawks eye on the 8 year old. You don't have to go very far out to enjoy the experience of the ocean. The waves come up and knock you over, under you go! And you aren't out deep. We had the most fun just letting the waves knock us over close to shore. I wouldn't panic over them being in the water, but I do think you're smart to be aware and to set limitations. Being from MN though, I'm obviously not an ocean expert.  :laugh:

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I can totally relate to your fears! 

 

You could have them wear life jackets. I would still supervise closely, but perhaps it would make you feel a little safer. 

 

My kids can all swim, but I am still very cautious. Their swim instructor always discusses water safety at the beginning of the season. She feels strongly that kids should only swim in bodies of water in which you can see the bottom; life jackets should be worn when playing in lakes, rivers, and oceans. I take her advice and feel safer, at least while my kids are still little.

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Agreeing that it makes a huge difference which part of the state you're visiting. In Northern CA it will be so cold you won't spend much time in the water without wetsuits. In Southern CA the water is nice & warm. I'm not sure where the boundary is ... Santa Barbara is pretty warm (although I think the surfers usually wear wetsuits), while Santa Cruz is freezing. My son recently tried boogie-boarding for the first time and loved it.

 

ETA: just b/c I got interested ... average water temp in August:

 

Los Angeles area 70°

Santa Barbara 64°

Santa Cruz 59°

Mendocino 52°

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For the record, your fears aren't "just fears." The ocean isn't Disneyland -- the ocean is like a forest. It's real. And there are many creatures that live in it. Maybe worse are rip tides.

 

I grew up in Ca. I'm assuming you're talking about Southern California because No. California beaches are not so great for swimming.

 

Statistically the odds of anything happening are statistically insanely low, but a few good tips include:

 

1 -- never go into the ocean if you're bleeding in any way, from any orifice. Blood = no ocean.

 

2 -- don't wear jewelry into the ocean. Fish can see the glint/glimmer and it's attractive to them.

 

3 -- don't "horse around" too much in the ocean. It sounds like an injured sea lion or something to predators.

 

4 -- don't wade or swim near fishermen. They have bait in the water and predators are often after the same fish the fishermen are after.

 

5 -- before you ever enter the ocean throw in a piece of driftwood and see which way it's carried. It helps to know how the tides are working.

 

6 -- never swim in the ocean alone.

 

7 -- never swim without a lifeguard on the beach.

 

8 -- teach kids/adults what to do in case of a rip tide. They're relatively easy to exit if you know what you're doing. They're deadly if you don't.

 

9 -- Edited to add: never turn your back on the ocean. Ever.

 

10 -- Parents should always supervise carefully.

 

11 -- It's also not a great idea to swim near sea lions or seals: they're sharks favorite snack. (Keeping in mind that plenty of people swim daily with seals in San Diego and have never been harmed at all. For the record: sharks think we're nasty tasting and way too bony.)

 

I'd use this experience as a homeschool unit to teach the kids about the ocean.

 

Personally, I think the biggest mistake people make with the ocean is to think it's Disneyland. It's not. And we're wise to be smart and cautious.

 

Alley

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Stick to beaches with lifeguards and set yourselves up near their stand.  

 

I have grown up around the ocean as have my kids (7 and 9) .  Our limit is no deeper than your armpits if the waves are low and no deeper than your waist if they are high (if I am out with them they are allowed to go out as far as I am willing, definitely over their heads).

 

Make sure they understand what rip currents are, how to spot them and how to get out of them if they do get caught in one.

 

Good advice. Also, don't let them stay in too long. I made that mistake and 45 min into the swim, they found themselves being pulled out to sea. I didn't even realize that they were in trouble because I could still see their heads and shoulders and it looked like they were playing. Thank God, they did make it back in, but the oldest (13) had to swim with the younger holding on and was utterly exhausted by the time they made it into shore. (Very, very scary after the fact.) 

 

We were at a beach that doesn't have lifeguards and the water seemed calm. The rest of the vacation, we swam directly in front of the fire station, which is where emergency rescues are done, and I took my cell phone. The fire fighter I talked with said always call even if you aren't sure they are in trouble.

 

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They need a marker so they don't drift their way down the beach. If you are near a life guard stand they can see it and keep themselves in front of it. Find a good swimming beach and get in to your waist and dive under the waves.  It will clear your sinuses. :D 

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You are right to be afraid.  There are dangers here, genuine ones.

The main thing is the heavy currents, the second is great white sharks, and the third is the random but present 'very big waves'.

You've gotten good advice.  I would add, teach your kids never to turn their backs on the ocean.

And, if you can, go to a beach in a bay--they tend to be safer.

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I grew up in Southern California and have been to most every beach from Santa Barbara to San Diego. To put things into perspective, when I was in elementary school, our YMCA camp took us to different beaches every week. There were usually lifeguards, but we were generally unsupervised by today's standards. I was out in the sun all day and learned to be a strong swimmer. Yes, I've been knocked around a bit, but it was good for me to learn and experience. I still live on the water, on a sailboat, and am raising two young children around the ocean. It's good to be cautious, but, if your kids are good swimmers, I would set limits, supervise, and then try not to pass on your fears to them. The ocean is an incredible place. Enjoy and welcome to CA!

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I am feeling better.  Mainly because a lot of you have told me it is ok to have my fears. I will make sure I'm in the water with them.  I had planned on that anyway.  I'll print off some ocean safety for the drive.  We'll have 2 very long days to memorize it :)

 

We will be down in So. Cal. We are staying with my parents in Fallbrook, and will probably go to Oceanside for beaching.  I'm picking the same spot we went last time near the pier.  The Oceanside Life Guard Services is at the base of the pier. 

 

Kelly

 

 

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My mom is a complete nervous nelly and I swam in the ocean and my swimming skills are pretty poor.... but now I'm thinking about it, I never went to the beach with her! Ha ha. I honestly cannot think of a single time I went to the beach with her except last summer when I took her to a lake.

 

It will be okay. 

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