alisoncooks Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 (edited) . Edited July 27, 2022 by alisoncooks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicMom Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 At her age it was just words, probably put into her head by the boy's brother. I would have just smiled and nodded, said something mild, and not made a big deal about it at 8. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 My dd is a late bloomer in this regard. She is 17 and not had a boyfriend. My sons are a different story. I will be gentle, because this is stressing you. But, dear sweet mama, I think you are worrying too much and taking this too seriously. The conversation you had was certainly not harmful, but probably unnecessary for the situation as written. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 My almost 12 y.o. had a crush on her camp counselor last summer but it was totally one-sided (thank goodness as he was maybe 17ish). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Excelsior! Academy Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 My dd is a late bloomer in this regard. She is 17 and not had a boyfriend. My sons are a different story. I will be gentle, because this is stressing you. But, dear sweet mama, I think you are worrying too much and faking this too seriously. The conversation you had was certainly not harmful, but probably unnecessary for the situation as written. I could've written this post. My dd's are not really into boys yet, even the 17 yo. However I really don't think this is a big deal as long as you don't make it into one. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Oh, at about 3 yo. Totally normal. Just don't blow it up into something big and it won't be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura's Haven Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 It sounds as though your daughter had a crush, or maybe just met a special friend. It is definitely typical of the age, but I would not worry too much. The truth is, she does not understand what a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship means. She might believe swimming together meant that, or being friends with a boy meant it. I think you did a great job explaining things, but be sure not to make too big a deal of it, you will just attract more attention than what was intended. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 She is only eight. She liked a little boy she met on vacation. She called him her boyfriend. I would have maybe said a few words to her, but I would not have made a big deal about it. Crushes are a normal part of growing up. I remember having little crushes at a young age, and I know my kids did. None of them asked to go on dates at a young age. I would not sweat this, Mama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted July 20, 2014 Author Share Posted July 20, 2014 (edited) . Edited July 27, 2022 by alisoncooks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Thanks. I really didn't bring up anything she didn't mention first. For example, she was adamant that the feeling she had meant God put the boy there to be her boyfriend. I don't know where she got this idea, but I didn't want to ignore it because I think it can be harmful. But mostly I just had her talk, to try and understand what she meant when she said "boyfriend" and "a feeling" for him. It's easy to pick up all kinds of ideas about romance from movies, songs, other people, commercials. Who knows where she got this idea...but I think you did fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 My oldest boy told a little girl that she was his girlfriend when he was 5. It didn't go over well. My dd has had a crush of sorts (she loves the boys hair) for two years now. My niece is almost 5 and she keeps having arguments with a little guy who wants to call her his girlfriend. At that age, it just all innocent. I would just tell them they need to practice just being friends first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura's Haven Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Thanks. I really didn't bring up anything she didn't mention first. For example, she was adamant that the feeling she had meant God put the boy there to be her boyfriend. I don't know where she got this idea, but I didn't want to ignore it because I think it can be harmful. But mostly I just had her talk, to try and understand what she meant when she said "boyfriend" and "a feeling" for him. You are so welcome! Aww...That is so sweet. It sounds like you did all the right things :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 When my son was 7 or 8 he had a Girlfriends List. He thought getting a girlfriend was as easy as putting her name on your list. He had several. Some were teens. Some were cartoons. They come up with some interesting relationship theories at that age? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 I wouldn't say that she's interested in boyfriends. I'd say that she's interested in an idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Oh bless that sweet girl! She sounds darling! Unfortunately, my girl has always been pretty boy crazy. At almost 13, it's no different. Blessedly she also takes seriously her sense of self respect and considers things like first kisses to be far too important to simply "give away". Now, that hasn't stopped her from proclaiming boys her "boyfriend", but I tell myself it's something, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 my girls were in high school/college. 1ds had a number of girls who were interested in him, but the only one he liked to talk to back spoke computerese. (oh - and when he was 11, he was invited to a birthday party with 20 girls. he was the only boy. I had no idea until the party.) somewhere it sounds like she's getting a message girls are supposed to have boyfriends. I admit I pushed education on my kids - especially my girls. eta: 1dd's unspoken motto towards guys in high school was "if you can hold an intelligent conversation, I'll talk to you". she had college professors who couldn't hold her idea of an intelligent conversation. she unintentionally intimidated alot of guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 my DD was about 6 when she told me she loved a boy at church and should she tell him. Internally I freaked! Externally I was careful to be calm. We had some long conversations. It hasn't come up like that again, though I have noticed some little crushes. I think she got carried away with some feelings (we had been to a couple of weddings recently). I was pretty boy crazy, and dramatic, so felt for her. *hugs* you're not alone. Sounds like you did great. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 I'm sure my girls were kind of interested in boys much earlier than they let on to be! haha ... There's maybe some attraction but not in any way, shape, or form like what it will be when she is older. I had a boyfriend in first grade! I still remember it very clearly. We actually sent each other love notes every single day in school. How weird is that! It was all perfectly innocent; a first grader's idea of a boyfriend is very different. I didn't grow up to be boy crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann.without.an.e Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 awww...she sounds sweet and kudos to you for being the kind of mom she can talk to about these things. I wouldn't worry though. Just gently guide her along :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reign Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I was 6 for my first very serious crush that I can remember it so well. I liked him for years. He was adorable. My oldest started talking about her boyfriend at five. That's the word she used for a friend she really liked who was a boy. I had to repeatedly explain that friends are just called friends we don't have to add the boy part. When she was six alittle boy loved in down the street. She liked him. She told me, her sisters, her dad, and all the grandparents. Now she likes Ross Lynch from the Disney Channel. She screamed when he had a very small bit part in the last Muppet Movie. "Eek! Mimi that's Ross!" She yells to my mother in the crowded movie theater. I think my other two will take much longer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I was a complete romantic and also attached weight to a "sense" of God sending the right one at a very young age. I so wish my mom had had the conversation w me that you just had with your dd! Good job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I think my daughter was about six when she confessed to me that she "liked" a slightly older boy at church. She seemed kind of stressed out about it, knowing that she was too young to have a boyfriend. I assured her I completely understood why she liked him and that there was nothing wrong about feeling whatever she felt. I also told her that she was too young to act on her feelings. I told her it was fine to enjoy her crush, but that she would have plenty of time when she was a whole lot older to worry about having a boyfriend. She seemed content with that. And it didn't presage any boy-crazy future for her. If we don't count Harrison Ford, she showed very little interest in boys for a good number of years after that. She ended up not even going on her first date until she was 17. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SwallowTail Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Mine did around age 4 and again at age 6. They were little crushes and also her modeling the happy marriage she sees in her own home,I think. Anyway, we haven't heard anymroe since then, and I am hoping we don't for a few years (maybe 10...?). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 My son was 4. He got into an argument with another 4 year old, a girl, and caused her to cry. He came home devastated and wanted to know who he was supposed to marry. I asked him why he was asking and he told me what had happened and that he was really afraid he had just driven off his future wife. He felt they had developed a good relationship and was assuming that by the time they graduated high school they would probably be dating. I had no idea he was thinking these things, but I don't think it is abnormal. Kids see relationships around them all the time. They are trying to understand the process and their role in things. I agree with others, she is interested in the idea, not actually dating. But it sounds like you handled it well and clarified things for her. The world can be a very confusing place. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I can remember having little kindergarten and first grade boyfriends. I think lots of girls (and sometimes boys) have that and that it's totally age appropriate and not a big deal. I see it as being like "playing house" or some of the other pretend play kids engage in - wanting to practice being grown up. The sense that this was the one right boy for her would concern me a little, but I wouldn't make a big deal of it. Maybe just take opportunities when they arise to show how people have different romances as they grow up before they find someone to marry and commit to in a more serious way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Venia Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I had a "boyfriend" in third grade, so around the same age as your daughter. We just passed notes to each other and spent a few recesses together. Nothing went beyond that, but it was very sweet memory. My next boyfriend, closer to the actual meaning, was many years later when I was 17. So even though I started early, I was not crushing on every person who came along :p My daughter has been talking about boys and marriage since she was 5 or younger. I like the fact that she can see and relate to positive characteristics in another person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 I think the youngest puppy love we've had was at about age 3... but the boy was 4 (a family friend's child) & had a seriously adorable crush on 3yo. I think puppy love is totally normal. Labeling it "boyfriend" may have been a bit precocious on the part of the child who initially did that, but your dd had it named for her, so it seems completely normal to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momling Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 My girls - not yet. Or if they do have crushes, they don't tell me. But... My 6 year old boy was totally sweet on this girl in kindergarten. It was weird. He saw her the first time and his eyes followed her around and he just went all silly and couldn't understand why I wouldn't support his immediately marrying her or hugging her or inviting her over or giving her presents. It was slightly worrying and cute at the same time and I tried to generally distract him as much as possible. It lasted until the end of the school year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 DD starting having crushes in 2nd grade. I was stunned! I didn't start thinking about boys until 7th/8th grade. But talking around, it's very normal for some kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Both girls are still convinced that boys are icky. Rebecca came out of her Sunday School class and huffed, "Those boys are SO immature!" LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 (edited) . Edited July 27, 2022 by alisoncooks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tabinfl Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 My elder daughter started holding hands with a boy from church about 6 months ago (almost 7yo). Since then the kids have been talking about "boyfriends" and "girlfriends" but after some careful discussion I don't believe they have any idea what those words mean in the adult sense. It's just the boy/girl they happen to like hanging out with the most at any particular time. It's kind of cute with girltwin, because they boy is someone she's known since age 2 or 3. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 My nephew has proposed to the girl he plans to marry. He just turned seven. (He's a young seven.) I know another kid who has had his future wife picked out for so long that his mom got worried, say him down and explained that he would grow up, date several people, then find the person he wanted to marry. The message got lost in translation and now the kid has upwards of 15 girls he considers his girlfriends, many of whom I believe he's never spoken to. It's all very harmless. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 My older DD had a "boyfriend" in 4th grade, and they are still fond of each other going into 8th. They're good friends, but there is a mutual affection too. My other DD is now going into 4th and still thinks boys are icky (except the ones in One Direction). One of her friends claims that she has kissed a boy in their class and is already boy crazy at 9. DD has pulled away from her because she isn't interested in talking about boys, boys, boys and thinks her friend acts stupid and fake around them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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