Rivka Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I sent a letter of resignation to my UU church today, and now I'm feeling really sad. I haven't enjoyed the services for several years. I tried various ways to get re-engaged in them, and nothing worked, so I have been just trying to focus on teaching RE. And I could have stayed on as a member, just doing that, except for how I feel about a whole raft of church politics things that I don't want to get into... yeah. I couldn't do it anymore. I left. I've been a member of this congregation since 2001. I visited for the first time on the Sunday after September 11th, wanting to go to church even though I knew there was no possible way I could find any comfort, and against all expectation I found comfort there. My kids were dedicated there. The previous minister came to my house when I miscarried. I helped write the mission and vision statements. My husband has served as President, Vice President, or Treasurer of the Board for seven of the last eight years. (Today, not coincidentally, was his last day.) He's planning to keep going (and taking the kids to RE), but he's not happy about the way things are going. He likes the services a lot more than I do, though. It would be hard to overstate what a huge role this congregation has had in the lives of our family. But just being in the building makes me feel tense and angry and tired. Just having it be Sunday morning makes me feel this way. It's time to leave. There isn't any point to this thread, I guess. I just wanted to come here, where no one else from my church reads, to say that I'm sad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I understand. Leaving a church is difficult. I hope you are at peace with your decision and the sadness lifts soon. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 :grouphug: I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 :grouphug: It must be hard to leave a place that felt like home for many years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 (((Rivka))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I'm sorry for your loss of community and spiritual companionship. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 Moving forward and leaving a place that has been a home is hard. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I'm sorry too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I'm sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 Ugh. Leaving a church feels like leaving family. No matter how dysfunctional it is, you just want it to work out so badly. So sorry it came to this. ((hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I'm so sorry. It's so hard when you want to be a part of a church community, but every moment you're there, you're unhappy. I think you did the right thing for your own mental well-being. It can't be healthy to feel tense and tired every time you walk in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysticmomma Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 :( :hugs: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solascriptura Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I'm sorry. Truly, I know how you feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 :grouphug: Very hard, but you did the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I'm sorry. I hope you can find some way to fill in the hole after a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyDays Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I'm sorry. :grouphug: It's so difficult to leave a place that feels like home, even when the situation has become tense or uncomfortable. I hope you're able to find peace, and perhaps someday a new community. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhschool Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 Hugs for sure. Hopefully you will find a happier church soon! Hang in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I'm sorry Rivka :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jilly Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 It's a little bit like losing someone, like leaving family...isn't it? But when there is an end, there is often a new beginning also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan C. Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 So sorry, its hard. I recently read "Leaving Church" by Barbara Brown Taylor and really liked it. I wonder if it would be encouraging to you right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBasil Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applethyme Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 :grouphug: May you find what you need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 (Hugs) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YaelAldrich Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I hope you will find peace after your resignation and be able to find a spiritual home more in tune with your needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 That is really rough. I loved the church we attended when my dd was born so much, but there were real problems the leadership was determined to ignore. I was sick about it for a year. It felt like was divorcing my church. I missed the people there, I missed the good teaching I had been receiving when we started. But eventually it was all for the better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bodiesmom Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I'm so sorry Rivka- :-( We are currently going through a painful breakdown in our church...tough times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I am very sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I'm so sorry, Rivka. You may remember that my family had its own issues with our (now former) UU church. We, too, had been very involved there for a number of years, and it did, as someone else said, feel like a painful and difficult divorce when things went sour. I'll be thinking of you and your family and hoping that you find a spiritual home soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I'm so sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
azucena Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I'm sorry to hear this, Rivka! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 So sorry, its hard. I recently read "Leaving Church" by Barbara Brown Taylor and really liked it. I wonder if it would be encouraging to you right now. I loved this book!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomsintheGarden Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I'm so sorry! You were very brave to leave. It helps knowing that you made the right decision, though. Blessings on your future search for a new church home, when you're ready. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne115 Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 I'm sorry. We left a church that we attended for 10 years and it is extremely difficult. I had done everything from volunteering to being on staff. My husband did a lot of serving in the church too. Leaving was the right decision, but oh so difficult. Suzanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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