Zebra Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Okay, this is the third time this week this has happened, and the 4th time this month! I guess because dd is almost 11, she looks too old not to be in school. I came up with a clever response to this which is, "Why aren't you at work?" But, alas, the last 4 people have been working at various retail establishments, which sort of doesn't apply :lol:!!! A couple of these people had an attitude when they asked me, like I was pulling something. That infuriates me more than people being ignorant. I get so sick of it. What irks me is that I live in a fairly populated area, with several school districts and private schools who go to the retail areas to shop. All of which have all these different days off. Including things like every other Wednesday off, different school hours etc etc. My point being, school district schedules are weird and vary a lot. Everyone in the country should be familiar with this concept. Not to mention the fact that I live up north, and the kids get out of school mid-late June, whereas in the South people get out earlier, and then come up here to vacation. I just feel like telling people to get a clue. Which is probably rude, but I am exhausted trying to educate the whole world. I feel like saying something like, "Oh, she's skipping school to be my drug mule..." But not everyone appreciates my biting sarcasm :laugh:! FWIW, I always assume when I see a kid out and about that they have a day off from school, and not that they are homeschooled. And I can't imagine even bringing it up to someone, unless we were really having a more in-depth conversation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I would be tempted to make up a fantastic story to tell whenever asked. Use your imagination! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I've said "Is questioning your customers in your job description?" when I've been particularly annoyed. Otherwise, a simple "We homeschool" or "we're on a break" does the trick - followed by the former if they keep at it and annoy me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MysteryJen Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Once when my kids were playing in the back yard (an open space bike path runs behind it), a grumpy old man yelled at them from the path and said, "why aren't you kids in school?" Ds2 (then about 8) yelled back "We don't go to school!" So now, that is what we all say when asked why we aren't in school. Or when feeling particularly sarcastic, "we don't go to no stinking school." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 "We homeschool" works well for us, but we live in an area where homeschooling is pretty popular and widely accepted, so that colors my opinion. I tend to take people at face value and assume they are sincerely just being curious, not trying to be nasty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 "I took him out for a day to visit his father in federal prison. I want him to see his father one last time before the execution." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristyB in TN Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I'm a delinquent, want proof? Giving Bill Gates a run for his money. School? Escuela? Bipity bopity boo! Been there, done that. My mom's crazy. School's crazy. Why aren't you at church? Why aren't you at mass? Why aren't you at the mosque? Why aren't you at camp? Why aren't you on vacation? Why aren't you wearing blue today? I'm on strict Don't Ask, Don't Tell orders. If I told you, I would have to kill you. (start crying) (take a drink and spit water on the floor like a fountain) (start doing fake sign language like that interpreter did at the Nelson Mandela memorial) I'm in a mood, I will think of some more :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zoo Keeper Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I've found the majority of the people who ask this are just making conversation. Really. I smile, and say "We homeschool. I appreciate that we have a more flexible schedule." Smile again, and then continue shopping, reading the magazine at the dr.'s office, etc. I save the more sarcastic remarks for people who question why I have five children... :hat: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Honestly, most of the time when we are asked this people are just genuinely curious and don't mean anything bad by it. They usually seem to assume that the kids had a doctor or dental appointment or something along those lines and are just striking up a conversation with the kids. No biggee. We just let them know that we homeschool. End of conversation usually unless they want to know more about homeschooling. But sometimes there is attitude in the voice/body language, which CAN get a bit irksome. I try to be polite and briefly explain that we homeschool. I don't want a confrontation or to leave a bad impression since we are techinically representing other homeschoolers, too, not just us. Homeschooling is NOT well known in our area and has a bad rap in general among those who encounter homeschoolers but are ignorant of specifics. I am hoping over time that this will change and I don't want to add to the already poor view of this choice. All that being said, there are times when I REALLY want to respond as others upthread have jokingly suggested. I especially hate it when an adult hears our response and proceeds to try and lecture me or my children on how they should not be isolated from the rest of society and that I am doing them a terrible disservice. Grrrrrrr! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted June 6, 2014 Author Share Posted June 6, 2014 I am DYING here! Next time I am going to say "Bippity-Boppity-Boo" and spit water all over the floor. I'll make sure to post the video here....I hope I can count on you guys to come bail me out, too. It does seem as ignorant as asking someone why they aren't in church. I mean, how ridiculous would it be to go up to people on Sunday morning and say, "Why aren't you in church?" Obviously not everyone thinks the Sabbath is on Sunday, even people who do think the Sabbath is on Sunday don't go to religious services on Sunday mornings for a variety of reasons. Beyond all the people who don't attend religious services of any sort. I mean, it's pure madness. I can't get over that in 2014 I am still being asked why my kid is not in school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted June 6, 2014 Author Share Posted June 6, 2014 How about "Why aren't YOU in school?". That would confuse them enough so I could run away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristyB in TN Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I am DYING here! Next time I am going to say "Bippity-Boppity-Boo" and spit water all over the floor. I'll make sure to post the video here....I hope I can count on you guys to come bail me out, too. It does seem as ignorant as asking someone why they aren't in church. I mean, how ridiculous would it be to go up to people on Sunday morning and say, "Why aren't you in church?" Obviously not everyone thinks the Sabbath is on Sunday, even people who do think the Sabbath is on Sunday don't go to religious services on Sunday mornings for a variety of reasons. Beyond all the people who don't attend religious services of any sort. I mean, it's pure madness. I can't get over that in 2014 I am still being asked why my kid is not in school. :crying: I have to do something in my head to get through difficult conversations, especially when people are angry or simply crazy. I have a lot of those conversations, I manage property. While people are talking at me I imagine spitting water up into the air like a fountain and it soothes me. Now who might be crazy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 How about "Why aren't YOU in school?". That would confuse them enough so I could run away. I quite like that. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 How about, "I graduated last May. I am currently working on my Bachelors. And you?" (May have to practice this a bit with really young children so they get the pronunciation just right. :) ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 When do kids get out there? Everyone around here has been out of school for several weeks already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted June 6, 2014 Author Share Posted June 6, 2014 Maybe I could tell my DD to answer, "Because I'm an illiterate junkie." I mean, who can argue with that? OR "I am Doogie Howser Junior and would love to chat, but I am late for my rounds." OR "I have Benjamin Button disease and am actually 74 years old." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted June 6, 2014 Author Share Posted June 6, 2014 When do kids get out there? Everyone around here has been out of school for several weeks already. I know, which is why I am finding it beyond weird that so many people have asked me this week. The school systems up here get out the week of the 16th. But, I thought it was a well known fact that more southern states generally let their kids out earlier in the spring, and then they all come up here for vacation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Around here 75% of the time my kids respond to that question with, "we homeschool" the person responds with "I was homeschooled too! Awesome!" I would not necessarily take it to imply the person thinks they ought to be at school but they might be friendly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 We just say we homeschool; in fact, the last person who asked was a homeschooling mom working at her part-time job. But if the person was being obnoxious, I might respond with a chipper "Fine, thanks, and how are you?" and see how many repeats it takes before s/he gives up. I do wish people would just not ask personal questions of passing strangers. I remember when I was pg with DS I got grilled at every freakin' checkout in town. If anyone wants to start selling t-shirts that say MYOB--and I do think there would be a demand!--start with maternity sizes and/or the homeschool market. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I usually just say that we homeschool, but i also have been known to just politely smile and ignore the question if the person is rude or judgemental. Just because someone talks to you doesn't mean you have to answer. :o Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmilyGF Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Often, when I get that question, the person ends up telling me how they wish they had been homeschooled or that they wish they had the resources to homeschool their own child. It does get frustrating, though, when the person launches into further questioning (especially the few times when I've told them we finished early for the day because everyone worked so hard...). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 It's just small talk, not a personal attack. It's the rare clerk who is actually gunning for homeschoolers. I'm sure she asks EVERY kid she sees the same question during the school day. You're wasting energy turning it into a crusade. The question isn't about you or your choices. It's just a generic conversation starter. The kid can just say "I homeschool and I finished early" or "I homeschool and we're going on a field trip." Any non-confrontational variation on that theme would be a polite, appropriate answer. Save the righteous indignation for when someone actually says something insulting. Most people don't care that you homeschool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwg Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 It is annoying! The other thing that has been annoying me lately is "good for you!" or "I could never do that" :laugh: Did I ask for your approval? :leaving: FWIW- I know no one means anything by it it is the repetitiveness of it! And really what can they say? but why ask then...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shamzanne Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Usually I just say "we homeschool" but once in a while it is someone with an attitude. Next time its the latter I'm going to say "we don't have time for school. There's just so much good TV to watch." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted June 6, 2014 Author Share Posted June 6, 2014 It's just small talk, not a personal attack. It's the rare clerk who is actually gunning for homeschoolers. I'm sure she asks EVERY kid she sees the same question during the school day. You're wasting energy turning it into a crusade. The question isn't about you or your choices. It's just a generic conversation starter. The kid can just say "I homeschool and I finished early" or "I homeschool and we're going on a field trip." Any non-confrontational variation on that theme would be a polite, appropriate answer. Save the righteous indignation for when someone actually says something insulting. Most people don't care that you homeschool. A generic conversation starter would be "I like your shirt" "Isn't a beautiful day" "Are you having a fun time shopping today" etc. Asking in an incredulous tone why you aren't in school is not a generic conversation starter. I just don't find it that shocking that a child isn't in school today, and 3 times in one week is a lot. Again, I have run into quite a few people over the years who do care and are insulted that we homeschool. Many are fine or nice about it. I still don't think they should even ask, just my opinion. And I am just venting, and the JAWM in my title usually indicates that. Just agree with me, I am venting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 It's very rare that anyone says anything to us, but we always just say that we homeschool and that's the end of it. I could understand it getting pretty irritating if it's happening frequently, because it would move from "people are curious" to "people are nosy busybodies." I think most people are genuinely curious, though -- and there may be a few who worry that a kid out of school on a weekday might be sick and highly contagious... ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I think we've gotten this question like three times ever. I keep expecting it more, but we don't hear it. The kids usually say "We're homeschooled." But I like the idea of giving a snarky response. I got so sick of "Are they twins?" when they were little that I said a few times, "No, we liked this one so much, we had him cloned." Dh came up with that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 The hygienist where we go to the dentist is always asking me or my kids about hsing. I think she hasn't yet decided if it is good or not. I think she *wants* to believe it is good, but she doesn't get the paradigm. I really get tired of her questions, especially if she is working on me. When my ability to respond is limited, she is often off in monologue land and I'm powerless to disabuse her of her mistaken notions until the fluoride tray has been removed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 My bad. TOTALLY missed the JAWM. The clerk was out of line. Next time, smack her with your copy of TWTM and be all "Whose not in school now?!?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted June 6, 2014 Author Share Posted June 6, 2014 My bad. TOTALLY missed the JAWM. The clerk was out of line. Next time, smack her with your copy of TWTM and be all "Whose not in school now?!?" :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 It's just small talk, not a personal attack. It's the rare clerk who is actually gunning for homeschoolers. I'm sure she asks EVERY kid she sees the same question during the school day. You're wasting energy turning it into a crusade. The question isn't about you or your choices. It's just a generic conversation starter. The kid can just say "I homeschool and I finished early" or "I homeschool and we're going on a field trip." Any non-confrontational variation on that theme would be a polite, appropriate answer. Save the righteous indignation for when someone actually says something insulting. Most people don't care that you homeschool. 90% of the time that is true. But I've had a couple of terrier people who would just not let it go and were definitely antagonistic. Those are the ones that I get firmer with. I actually reported one cashier to her manager because she was so hostile and was berating me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 90% of the time that is true. But I've had a couple of terrier people who would just not let it go and were definitely antagonistic. Those are the ones that I get firmer with. I actually reported one cashier to her manager because she was so hostile and was berating me. Blech! Hate that! I had one older lady who had brought her pet in to the vet clinic who started really grilling DD about why she wasn't in school. The statement about homeschooling really set her off even though DD explained that she had already completed all of her language arts, math, history, science and art for the day and had come with me to the vet clinic to not only help me out and support her pet but to get some great information from our vet, who was always willing to teach DD about animal care. I was trying to take care of the bill and didn't step in as soon as I should have. The lady seemed to feel she was DDs only hope of a "normal" life. Ugh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 "I took him out for a day to visit his father in federal prison. I want him to see his father one last time before the execution." awesome.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 It's just something for people to say. There's almost always nothing rude behind it. When I got tired of answering the question, I began responding, "They go to a small private school, and they're oft today." It was true. But people weren't trying to be nosy. It's a normal question, like, "Hi, how are you?" when the person doesn't *really* care how you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 We usually just say our school is on break. If they then ask which school I'll mention that we homeschool and let the conversation--if any--go from there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 I love the snarky responses, they give me courage and help me feel prepared. My favorite response had been to just nod. They usually get flustered and fill in their own reason, and since I'm still nodding we ask just move on to silence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolatechip Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Usually I just say "we homeschool" but once in a while it is someone with an attitude. Next time its the latter I'm going to say "we don't have time for school. There's just so much good TV to watch." :smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daffodil Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 Amazingly, we've never been asked that question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 People don't ask that often -- there are a lot of homeschoolers around here -- but I just say that we homeschool. The last couple of weeks, I've enjoyed being able to say that we are done already because when the local schools had all their snow days in the winter, we were doing work so we could finish and go to the beach before it got too hot. My kids are now thanking me for making them do work back then. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 Maybe it's just one of those mindless questions people ask without thinking. We were asked that today by a cashier...First of all today was Saturday and secondly it was 6pm! None of us knew quite what to say so we said nothing..not even my kids who are usually happy to answer LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 "Oh he's waaay too sick to be in school. His temp was really high this morning and he would likely infect half the class." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 3B4G Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 Nobody ever said it quite that way to me. Usually they say, "Oh no school today?" Then the kids say, "We homeschool." And I get, "Oh cool.." That's been about it around here. This is what we tend to get too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 You could say "Because we're in the witness protection program, and now we either have to move, or i have to kill you. And I don't want to move :D " We always just said, "we homeschool". But i do think it's a strange question to ask in June. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 It might not be a well known fact that some states get out earlier. I had no idea until I was in college, and only because i then took a trip up north, that some states didn't get out until june. I think my kids know only because they have cousins up north that don't get out til the end of June. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davysmom Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 For me, it depends on how they ask. Sometimes it is just conversation. We get it a lot during school holidays. So are you on spring break? It is funny I hear it more when schools are out than when they are in. For the majority that I get, I think it is a conversation starter. We also live in a vacation destination, and that comes up a lot. Out of towners are here because they are out of school. Unless they are rude, I just answer and move on. If it is a day off for us, sometimes I just say there is no school today! Or I say we homeschool. Or whatever. Rude people, I have fun with. I tell them all sorts of things. We are also a blended family who get rude comments about whose is whose. We have fun with that too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reign Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 My kids just say "we homeschool" but I am trying to get them to say "we're done for the day" or "we've finished already" We always get a polite but non excited response. Not a lot of homeschoolers in the area and I think it throws people off. One time someone replied with " then why aren't you at home doing your school work?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topquark Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 " I got kicked out. Something about 'sociopath - impulse control-something'..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 When my oldest ds was little he used to answer with "I quit school." Which is true in the sense that he left public school. The look on the nosey person's face always made me laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 I don't remember ever being asked that before--either when we were homeschooling or when the kids have been with me during the week for appointments or have the day off for teacher in-service or something. Maybe I give off MYOB vibes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 I've rarely been asked, and we just say "we homeschool". We've received far more positive responses than negative, but yeah, that would really bug me if perfect strangers were being judgmental or in-your-face about it. Really?? I rarely wonder about kids being out and about during school hours. Why do people care so much about the business of strangers? I do not get it. I notice if someone is loud, acting oddly, very rude, or otherwise drawing attention, but if they're not I don't pay much attention. I would probably say "we homeschool" and have a snarky response to use (maybe) if someone kept hounding me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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