Are you satisfied with where you live?

[gaillardia]

What are the things that make you and your family feel like you are content with where you live? I'm sitting in a motel in a city that feels like a town, in a state that is one of the most economically depressed in the U.S. My dh may have a job here but this is our first night here to check it out and we just do not like it at all.

His current job is a dead end. We didn't think we liked where we live right now, but it is better than where we are spending the night. 

It will be more money. It's a day closer to home state in the east. Soil, rainfall and climate are good for gardening. Four hours to the beach. 

I can't find too many good things to say about it.

The water tastes horrible. High unemployment rate. High crime rate. Housing choices are very slim. Schools are bad, really bad. (That affects the culture). For the size of the population, they should have all the chain restaurants but don't. There are very few restaurants here. Two grocery stores and a wally world. The grocery carts were all over the parking lot, seriously. High poverty level. It is in a flood zone. We don't know anyone here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[candicane]

We currently live in our foreclosed/for sale house that's supposed to be taken from us eventually, and we've been living out of boxes for over a year, maybe two now. It's been that long. But we'd like to eventually move to Texas, it seems so much more....wholesome there. Plus we got family there. Here, we got no one. I don't have friends, my parents don't. There's no point.

[ThisIsTheDay]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:   Hugs to both of you.

[Laura Corin]

Those sound like really difficult situations.

 

L

[fraidycat]

Unemployment, crime and culture/poverty are high on the list of things I would need to feel comfortable about to feel "content". IE: What you are describing sounds like a "only if we're freezing and starving" plan Z kind of option.

 

That said, sometimes plan Z is all a person has left and even in that case I might opt for DH taking the job temporarily and living separately from DH in safer area with the kids, possibly even moving in with family short-term if necessary.

[Arcadia]

What I am happy about where I currently live being a non-driver

- 0.4 miles walk to a 24/7 supermarket with pharmacy

- 0.3 miles walk to the library

- 0.8 miles walk to a light rail station

- 2.1 miles walk to the golf course that my kids love (yes, we walk)

- 2.3 miles walk to the community college

- 2.1 miles to Target (usually hubby drive us there)

- 20 mins drive to Ikea

- easy drive to the beaches

 

There are nearby cities we like more but the homes also cost more.

 

Hope things get better for both of you.

[Melabella]

Fifteen years ago, my husband and I moved to a community much like the one you described.  It is, without a doubt, the decision I regret most in my life.  We HATE it here.  I have had no friends in 15 years.  Not one.  My husband has one "friend" here - a neighbor.  They don't have any interests in common, but they borrow tools from one another and talk a bit.  My dd has participated in girl scouts, a handful or recreation department sports teams, and multiple homeschool groups/co-ops in the area, but has only made two true friendships.  Neither are really kindred spirits.  She now attends homeschool classes an hour away and has a large group of good friends there with which she spends a lot of time.  Of course, that means, we're travelling a minimum of two hours round-trip three to four days per week for school and friendship. It's also 20+ minutes to shopping other than Wal-mart and restaurants that are not fast food. Healthcare options are limited.  Recreation options are very limited. Cultural activities are non-existent.  The library is pitiful.  Actually, there isn't even a library in our town; it's in a neighboring town. 

 

When the housing market tanked in 2008 it hit this area very hard and prices still have not recovered.  The last time a house sold in our neighborhood it was over a year ago and it was for 1/3 of what we paid for our house in 1999.  On many occasions, we have seriously considered walking away from this house and just taking the hit to our credit.  It really might be worth it.

[Catwoman]

Flood zone, high crime, and lack of amenities (like shopping and places to eat) would be dealbreakers for me.

 

Have you considered looking at towns within a 30-60 minute drive from where your dh would be working, and see if you can find a more desirable place to live somewhere within that radius?

 

You sound so disappointed. I'm so sorry the place is such a letdown. :(

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[gardenmom5]

I'm so sorry.  I hope you are able to come to a decision that works out best for your family.

[Kelly1730]

Flood zone, high crime, and lack of amenities (like shopping and places to eat) would be dealbreakers for me.

 

Have you considered looking at towns within a 30-60 minute drive from where your dh would be working, and see if you can find a more desirable place to live somewhere within that radius?

 

You sound so disappointed. I'm so sorry the place is such a letdown. :(

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

 

 

I was thinking the same thing. I certainly wouldn't want to live in the closest city to where we are but living just 20 minutes outside of it makes a huge difference. 

[marbel]

We don't like the place we live.  There is nothing horrible about it, but we don't feel at home here.  People here are very settled, so my kids have had a terrible time making friends.  It's as if people who are not born here are always outsiders.   We moved from a place we loved and thought we'd only be here temporarily while my husband was in school.  But we are still here; his work is here now. 

 

The place you are in does sound bad.  If you do end up moving there because of work, I hope you find some good things about it.  I understand that high crime, poverty, and poor schools are things that affect the whole area.  But you may find the better parts of the town, the stores, etc.,  If you have only been there one day (and perhaps the motel is in the worst part?) you don't really have a complete picture. 

 

:grouphug: :grouphug:

[creekland]

I do really like the place where we live now.  However, when hubby and I were recently married, he found a job opportunity where he would make more $$.  We got excited, then went there for his interview.  He liked the job.  I HATED the place - racism, high cost of living, way too flat, no one would talk with me, etc, not a single good vibe and the higher COL would use up all the higher pay he would have - perhaps more.

 

We ended up NOT going there and to this day we don't regret that decision at all.

 

We've moved a bit since then (all by choice) and ALWAYS have used our "does it feel right" senses to make our decisions.  We feel we both have to "feel right" to make a move.  It hasn't let us down.

 

BUT, getting a job for him is relatively easy - we can live practically anywhere.  I know that's not true for most, so I'll second the suggestion of checking out places 20 - 30 minutes away.  Sometimes it can make all the difference and it's worth checking out.

[FaithManor]

We like the rural, wild aspect of where we live i terms of gardening, having lots of stateland for the boys to explre, the beauty of the geat lakes close at hand, etc. We do not like this community and if we could spin the clock backward several years, we would not move to this particular place...similar setting in nature, but definitely in a more forward thinking, less backward educationally and culturally community. We do not fit at all. As a classical pianist and a love of academics, I am viewed with great suspicion and at times openly reviled. No kidding. It's not fun. My only close friend is our 4H program director who is more of a kindred spirit. My brother, who lives near, is my dh's only social outlet or my 71 year old dad. Our boys have no one they are close with and our artistic boy suffers from being completely pushed out of the local chur h youth groups for bein academically minded and artistically talented with no desire to play sports. All of my boys have physical activities they love...two ski in this winter and nature hike in the summer, and the art lover is into biking. But, if you aren't into basketball or football, according to the blys around here, you are a loser.

 

So, it's a bad fit for us. We would really like to move, but my parents can't afford to move and their health is slipping, and dh's mom is really gettin bad so we are stuck for a little bit. That said, it's painful to think about but my mom and mil probably aren't ging to live to "ripe old ages" and when they are gone, we'll take my dad and go. As long as he has somewhere to garden, he'lll be a happy camper! Definitely, we are not retiring here!!!!!

[Mama Geek]

We have lived a lot of different places in the US and there really are good and bad to all of them.  I have not lived in the middle of a large city so I can't really speak to that.  I have found that I really like the places in TX that we have lived and I really liked living in Anchorage, Alaska.  We lived in Newport News, VA and really didn't like it, but we made some really good friends and got to spend a lot of time sailing there.  We've lived just outside of Denver when dd was young and dh worked lots of OT, that was more difficult but the area was really pretty I could really enjoy going back there.  We have been able to find decent places to live where we felt safe everywhere we have gone.  I really don't think I would enjoy big city life and we are pretty much able to avoid that.

 

[DawnM]

Where in the world are you?  I am sorry.

 

I am not thrilled with where we are, only because I like where we came FROM better.  I am a West Coast girl and every time I go back there I cry a lot when I get on the plane to come back to NC.

 

NC is not a bad place at all.  We are in the largest city, although we we live outside of the city proper, but close enough to go in for what we need/want.  We have a lot of friends.  There just isn't as much to do here, and the mindset is very different here.

[Chris in VA]

We've lived here in Northern VA, in Dallas, in Miami area, and I've lived in 3 places in Ohio, New Jersey, and CT.

 

NoVA is pretty, but busy.

Miami was high crime (not where we were in N. Miami Beach, but all around us).

Dallas was GREAT.

Ohio was...small but wonderful.

NJ was icky in most parts but ok in Princeton.

CT--well, I don't remember that really well, but my gparents lived in the industrial, southern part of the state, so it wasn't the lovely New England-y CT that people love.

 

I've had friends, good churches, shopping, health care, amenities, nature-y stuff, etc. EVERYWHERE.

 

I don't feel HOME anywhere, really.

[ThisIsTheDay]

Where in the world are you?  I am sorry.

 

I am not thrilled with where we are, only because I like where we came FROM better.  I am a West Coast girl and every time I go back there I cry a lot when I get on the plane to come back to NC.

 

NC is not a bad place at all.  We are in the largest city, although we we live outside of the city proper, but close enough to go in for what we need/want.  We have a lot of friend.  There just isn't as much to do here, and the mindset is very different here.

 

This is so interesting to me, because I grew up on the West Coast and moved when I was 20.  I generally don't even talk about it. I couldn't stand it by the time I moved (from the middle of Silicon Valley. I haven't been back in 18 years, and have never missed it.

 

I then lived in the mid-west for 20+ years and loved it.

 

Now I am a couple of hours away from you and love it.  I was just telling dh last night that it's taken me several years, but that I SO appreciate how green it is here, and that I would miss it desperately if we were to ever leave. (I'm never leaving!)

 

In general, while I *say* that I could live almost anywhere and be happy, that's not true.  I would have to feel safe, and there are plenty of places I could be happy only if I knew it was temporary.

[texasmama]

I could not be happier than I am living in North Central Texas.  I hope we never leave.  It is where dh and I were both born and reared, and our kids are growing up here now.

[almondbutterandjelly]

If you don't mind my asking, where are you?  We could probably help you find good things about it if we knew :)

 

Gently...  As for some of your statistics, yes they sound bad.  But some stuff you are just picking on.  Shopping carts all over the parking lot?  Really?  You're really trying to hate it.  If this is a necessary situation, you best start looking for the best.

 

Let me try and put a spin on some of the things you mentioned...  "The water tastes horrible."  The water tastes different.  You will either get used to it or get a filter for your sink or refrigerator water dispenser.

 

"High crime rate."  You know, I don't know what the crime rate of my area is.  You find a place to live in a safe area.  Every place has safer areas and less safe areas.  Every place.

 

"Schools are really bad."  No problem.  You homeschool, right?  FWIW, There are generally private schools in many locations, too, that are decent.  Or a better area with better schools.  A lot of people in my town sent their kids to a different school district because their district is not known for good schools, with certain exceptions.  You also find out about the exceptions.  Charter schools, fine arts schools, etc.  You might be surprised.

 

"Flood zone."  I live in a flood zone.  I've never been flooded.  If a hurricane came, I suppose then I might get flooded.  But the house would probably be destroyed anyway, so .... Carry flood insurance.  It's only about $200-$300 per year.

 

Find good things.  Good soil, good rainfall.  Do you have seasons?  I miss seasons.  Are the people friendly?  Drive around and find the nicer parts of town.  Hey, at least you have two grocery stores and a wally world.  My friend has to drive two hours for those.  Count the blessings.  One state closer to home.  More money.  A job.  That's a big deal.

 

Hugs.

 

 

[ThisIsTheDay]

We've lived here in Northern VA, in Dallas, in Miami area, and I've lived in 3 places in Ohio, New Jersey, and CT.

 

NoVA is pretty, but busy.

 

I love, love, love visiting NoVA, where dd goes to school. I live in the suburbs of a much smaller city, so for me, NoVA is all flash and fun and stores and exotic food and foreign accents and people dressing differently. I even get a bit of a thrill from the traffic, although that would definitely not be the case if I had to live with it.  In general, I think I could live there, except for that I couldn't afford it.

[Mergath]

You guys who aren't happy where you are should all move here and keep me company. :D  I really like where I live.  (Well, most days, lol.)  It's not perfect, of course, but it has low unemployment, low crime and well-ranked schools (and like the op said, that makes a difference in the community even if you're hsing).  There are so many parks and playgrounds in town that despite having lived here for six years, I still haven't even seen them all.  The library is amazing, and I can walk or bike to almost everything.  Actually, MN has bike trails that go halfway across the state from here, so I can bike almost anywhere.  There is a strong arts community given the size of the town, and Minneapolis/St. Paul is only two hours away if we want to access more.  The people are friendly and the schools here let hsers take art, science, gym classes, and extracurriculars through the school if you want them, along with providing things like speech therapy.  Not to mention that MN gives a homeschool tax credit. COL is reasonable, there's a good housing market whether you're looking to buy or rent, and it's a beautiful area with dozens of lakes.

 

Of course, you have to have a fairly strong tolerance for cold winters. ;)

 

I'm sorry, OP.  :grouphug:   Is it possible you'll find more to like about the town when you've lived there for a while?  I moved here from a bigger city, and I wasn't too impressed at first, but over time as I've gotten to know the area better, I've learned to really like it here.

 

 

[Chris in VA]

I love, love, love visiting NoVA, where dd goes to school. I live in the suburbs of a much smaller city, so for me, NoVA is all flash and fun and stores and exotic food and foreign accents and people dressing differently. I even get a bit of a thrill from the traffic, although that would definitely not be the case if I had to live with it.  In general, I think I could live there, except for that I couldn't afford it.

 

We couldn't afford to, either, if the church didn't provide the Rectory for our housing. It's insanely expensive here.

 

[marbel]

This is so interesting to me, because I grew up on the West Coast and moved when I was 20.  I generally don't even talk about it. I couldn't stand it by the time I moved (from the middle of Silicon Valley. I haven't been back in 18 years, and have never missed it.

 

I then lived in the mid-west for 20+ years and loved it.

 

Now I am a couple of hours away from you and love it.  I was just telling dh last night that it's taken me several years, but that I SO appreciate how green it is here, and that I would miss it desperately if we were to ever leave. (I'm never leaving!)

 

In general, while I *say* that I could live almost anywhere and be happy, that's not true.  I would have to feel safe, and there are plenty of places I could be happy only if I knew it was temporary.

 

I've lived two places on the west coast; one I was so happy to get out of, and don't miss.  The other I miss greatly.

 

I lived most of my life in Silicon Valley. When my husband asked me if I wanted to move to Portland, Oregon, I said yes without a moment's hesitation, though I'd only been there once. 

 

Oregon is my home (though I don't live there now and don't expect to ever again).   

 

San Jose?  Good riddance. 

 

[gaillardia]

DawnM, I'm in Greenville, Mississippi right now. Home of the blues. It used to be a thriving city with textile industries (Fruit of the Loom Drive).

When we moved to Texas, dh lived there for almost a year before our home sold. It was hard to live without him in some ways, he would come home when we could afford to fly him back (Maryland).

I love Virginia, it is my state.

Dh's job prospects are bleak and he is not a young man anymore. It is almost too late to change careers. Think: newspapers, dinosaurs. lol

FaithManor, I've envied you your surroundings, not that I like the snow, but I've been to Michigan and we love the outdoors and nature.

We live on an acre. Ds 17 has a few really tight friends, dd12&14 do not have real tight friends but since we home school we are mostly excluded from stuff, if you KWIM. Our church needs to be near enough (LDS). Safety. A health food store. A good library system. Nature stuff. Employment opportunities for me and my kids (I've been a stay at home mom, no college and have been searching for employment for myself for over a year, sometimes pretty hard!!).

I'm pretty sure there is racism here, always has been from what I've learned. I'm not used to dealing with that.

 

[DawnM]

We have most of that here, but no harsh winters :laugh: .   It just isn't my cup of tea.  

 

 

Dawn

 

 

You guys who aren't happy where you are should all move here and keep me company. :D  I really like where I live.  (Well, most days, lol.)  It's not perfect, of course, but it has low unemployment, low crime and well-ranked schools (and like the op said, that makes a difference in the community even if you're hsing).  There are so many parks and playgrounds in town that despite having lived here for six years, I still haven't even seen them all.  The library is amazing, and I can walk or bike to almost everything.  Actually, MN has bike trails that go halfway across the state from here, so I can bike almost anywhere.  There is a strong arts community given the size of the town, and Minneapolis/St. Paul is only two hours away if we want to access more.  The people are friendly and the schools here let hsers take art, science, gym classes, and extracurriculars through the school if you want them, along with providing things like speech therapy.  Not to mention that MN gives a homeschool tax credit. COL is reasonable, there's a good housing market whether you're looking to buy or rent, and it's a beautiful area with dozens of lakes.

 

Of course, you have to have a fairly strong tolerance for cold winters. ;)

 

I'm sorry, OP.  :grouphug:   Is it possible you'll find more to like about the town when you've lived there for a while?  I moved here from a bigger city, and I wasn't too impressed at first, but over time as I've gotten to know the area better, I've learned to really like it here.

 

[DawnM]

Portland is a great city.  My dad is from Portland and we still have relatives there.  I visit every few years or so.

 

 

I've lived two places on the west coast; one I was so happy to get out of, and don't miss.  The other I miss greatly.

 

I lived most of my life in Silicon Valley. When my husband asked me if I wanted to move to Portland, Oregon, I said yes without a moment's hesitation, though I'd only been there once. 

 

Oregon is my home (though I don't live there now and don't expect to ever again).   

 

San Jose?  Good riddance. 
 

 

[Amira]

Maybe this new job possibility isn't right for you, but I've lived in places that have a lot of things wrong with them, or that didn't seem great on the surface. Some places make their great points obvious when you first get there, but others take a little more work to love.  Some places really are unlovable no matter how long you stay. 

 

A lot of the things you mentioned wouldn't be deal-breakers for me.  The things that have made our family unhappy in the past aren't crime rates or shopping carts in the parking lots.  What we really need is a job where dh is happy, a neighborhood where my children can be outside with other kids, enough money to get by, and a good church congregation. There are a million other things that can make a place better or worse, but without those 4 things, we're sunk.  

[gaillardia]

Mergath: My dh refuses to do winters in the north. :lol:

[Word Nerd]

There are things I don't like about where we live, but there is plenty I like too--and I wouldn't have known all those things the first time we visited before moving here. You can't accurately gauge all there is to like about a place in a brief visit.

[Mergath]

Mergath: My dh refuses to do winters in the north. :lol:

 

Lol, they're really not as bad as most people think.  Well okay, this last winter was pretty bad.  But usually they're tolerable.  And snowshoeing! :D

[almondbutterandjelly]

Okay, here are some neat-looking things in/around Greenville:  (I particularly am intrigued by Birthplace of Kermit the Frog.  Big muppet fans here.)

http://www.visitgreenville.org/things-to-do/deltas-museum-mile-2/for-kids

 

Some of the parks and wildlife refuges seem neat.  http://www.visitgreenville.org/things-to-do/outdoors/bird-watching

 

As for restaurants, it looks like they have most of the chain fast food restaurants, and quite a few mom and pop regular restaurants.  

 

 

[almondbutterandjelly]

Okay, this sounds bad:  http://www.city-data.com/forum/mississippi/883973-moving-greenville-ms-where-live.html

 

But it does suggest better places to live nearby.  What about Lake Village, AR?  It looks gorgeous.

 

Just trying to stay positive.  If you gotta live near there, you gotta live near there.  Best of luck!

[Mama Geek]

One other thing I just thought about, DH had a job outside of New Orleans, we both thought we would hate that area.  We both were really surprised, the people were mostly friendly, there was lots of water in the area, and we found lots of fun activities to do there.  I wouldn't want to live in the city, but the burbs there were pretty good.  We even survived a mardi gras season there.

[J-rap]

I'm sorry!  :grouphug:

 

I've loved where we live.  The ONLY thing I would have changed is to have it be an hour closer to a metropolitan area.  We're way out in the boonies.  It's small, it's very safe, my kids were able to walk everywhere, a big arts emphasis, and lots of fun opportunities despite being small.

 

That said, I always thought I could be happy almost anywhere, and I HAVE lived in a lot of places in my life.  I also get antsy living in one place too long.  I think it will be time to move soon...

[MiMi 4under3]

What I love about my town:

 

Wide open farmland interspersed between small "neighborhoods"

Across the street is a 25 acre preserve

Less than 10 minute drive to the ocean

Nice people

 

What I wish I could change:

 

DH has a 1.5 hour commute by car each way (without traffic)

[AngelaNYC]

I love Queens, NY.  We have everything, we can walk to most things, and can take a 15 minute drive or subway to everything else.  My area is quiet, tree-lined, and friendly.  My part of Queens has many restaurants, green markets, playgrounds, big parks, churches, and libraries.  There are so many active homeschool groups, too.  Manhattan is 6 miles away.  Some really nice beaches are about 30-minute drive away.  State parks, skiing, hiking trails, camp grounds, and lakes are within an hour's drive.  

 

But the homes are small and it can be expensive to live here if you don't do your homework.  

 

There are jobs here.  Have you looked into NY?

[chiguirre]

His current job is a dead end. We didn't think we liked where we live right now, but it is better than where we are spending the night. 

 

 

The water tastes horrible. High unemployment rate. High crime rate. Housing choices are very slim. Schools are bad, really bad. (That affects the culture). For the size of the population, they should have all the chain restaurants but don't. There are very few restaurants here. Two grocery stores and a wally world. The grocery carts were all over the parking lot, seriously. High poverty level. It is in a flood zone. We don't know anyone here.

Gently, is your motel in the crappy part of town? When we came to Houston to check out the ABA-based schools and find a place to live, we stayed in what I'd now say is a crappy area. It wasn't very appealing, but we had no choice.

 

However, once we picked a school and found an apartment for 6 months, we learned the area better and could pick a house that we really like. We knew the nice areas and the scary areas, we knew how heavy traffic is and where we liked to shop.

 

Do you have time to drive around and see more of the area? Could you ask the people who your dh would work with where they live and what areas they'd recommend?

 

The only thing that I would suggest is that your not buy a house if the area is economically depressed. I'd try to rent and keep a large "get away fund" in case your dh's job disappears and you need to move to a more economically vibrant area.

[Crimson Wife]

I cried the day we moved to my DH's duty station at the National Training Center in the Mojave Desert. We drove on Rt. 58 through all these awful little towns that looked straight out of "Erin Brockovich". But the base actually wasn't too bad and while I wouldn't say that I loved it there, I didn't hate it either. So I would recommend driving around to see if you can find a nicer area than just where the motel is situated.

 

Where I live now (S.F. Bay Area) would be a great place to live if we were rich. If we won the lottery, 95% of the reasons why we want to get out of here would no longer be relevant. The traffic would still be an issue but that would hold true pretty much any other city where we might want to live.

[Mommyof4ks]

That sounds very hard, and I would have a hard time living in a place where I did not feel peace. Our community has great people, a wonderful homeschool community, and even though we are a very mobile community and friends come and go, it is like those who are here briefly are friends and family forever. We are in a moderate sized town, but near big cities. We are looking at building our forever home here now that we know we will be here a long time.

[ThisIsTheDay]

 

 

Where I live now (S.F. Bay Area) would be a great place to live if we were rich. If we won the lottery, 95% of the reasons why we want to get out of here would no longer be relevant. The traffic would still be an issue but that would hold true pretty much any other city where we might want to live.

 

We sometimes catch those "Million Dollar Home" shows on tv.  We laugh, because the houses are so opulent.  We're used to the million dollar homes in Cupertino--where the **cheapest** single family home comes in at $988K.  It's <1300 sf, built in 1955, on a 6300 sf lot.  Oh, look, and it backs up to a major four lane road.  Top school district though!  Nice house, but not what you think of for a million dollars.

 

Nowhere near a beach either.

[FaithManor]

You guys who aren't happy where you are should all move here and keep me company. :D  I really like where I live.  (Well, most days, lol.)  It's not perfect, of course, but it has low unemployment, low crime and well-ranked schools (and like the op said, that makes a difference in the community even if you're hsing).  There are so many parks and playgrounds in town that despite having lived here for six years, I still haven't even seen them all.  The library is amazing, and I can walk or bike to almost everything.  Actually, MN has bike trails that go halfway across the state from here, so I can bike almost anywhere.  There is a strong arts community given the size of the town, and Minneapolis/St. Paul is only two hours away if we want to access more.  The people are friendly and the schools here let hsers take art, science, gym classes, and extracurriculars through the school if you want them, along with providing things like speech therapy.  Not to mention that MN gives a homeschool tax credit. COL is reasonable, there's a good housing market whether you're looking to buy or rent, and it's a beautiful area with dozens of lakes.

 

Of course, you have to have a fairly strong tolerance for cold winters. ;)

 

I'm sorry, OP.  :grouphug:   Is it possible you'll find more to like about the town when you've lived there for a while?  I moved here from a bigger city, and I wasn't too impressed at first, but over time as I've gotten to know the area better, I've learned to really like it here.

Mergath, I just have to say that I think the people of Minnesota are the best people evah!!!!! We've traveled all over, but the biggest, warmest, welcome has been Twin Cities and Duluth. The general atmosphere is so friendly, and the state is beautiful!

 

Now, that said, I think we'll be taking my dad and going to a location where the winter is shorter. He likes winter, but I think as he ages, with his back heart and lung issue, he would do better if we went to Maryland, Virginia, or North Carolina. He won't want the extreme heat of the south and he'll still want the change of seasons. Given what my kids are majoring in, only one will probably be in the Great Lakes region, two will be East Coast dwellers because that is where the jobs are for their professions of choice, and one will be in Huntsville unless he works for Raytheon or Lockheed away from NASA - aerospace engineering and astrophysics. So, it would make sense for us to be East coast residents. I've been looking at Maryland in the area surrounding Fredricksburg. I like the town, close enough in to cultural events, Baltimore and D.C. within commuting range for extra funsies, and yet able to get out into the countryside.[

 

But, once dad is gone, dh and I are definitely still looking at overseas....Belize is now out of the running probably, but Panama City and Guatamala intrigue us.

[*lifeoftheparty*]

...

 

Edited December 18, 2016 by *lifeoftheparty*

[Freckles]

It sounds like Louisiana (where I'm from) or Mississippi ;)

 

I couldn't live there. It would depress the heck out of me. We visit family in the North GA mountains- and it's beautiful. But I couldn't live there. For a million reasons, I just couldn't.

 

We live in the DC metro area and we love it. So much to do. So much to see. Good restaurants everywhere, great selection of healthcare and other services. 24 hour urgent care, 24 hour CVS for when you are sick during the weekend. Good doctors, good dentists, good Ob/Gyn's, excellent hospitals- this is a biggie for me because my family lives all over the South- some in rural areas, some near the city- and I just cannot believe how many less choices they have regarding healthcare and how inferior (I'm sorry, there's just no other word for it) their hospitals are. It's just shocking to hear some of the crap that they are told when they go to the doctor... Too many examples to get into about this, and way off topic, but it's just one of those glaring differences that I see between area that are depressed and those that aren't, kwim?

 

*Large* homeschooling community, so we have plenty/tons of friends that have the same beliefs/values/morals as we do- but also lots of diversity, so my kids don't live in a bubble where everyone looks and thinks like them. Tons of classes, field trips, and extracurricular opportunities for homeschoolers.

 

We used to live in Hawaii and Monterey, Ca and loved where we lived, for obvious reasons.

 

We also lived in San Angelo, TX which I absolutely hated. It wasn't as bad as what you are describing- but it was the opposite of what we have now, let's just say that.

 

I wouldn't move to wherever it is you are visiting- I would try as hard as possible to find another option.

 

nm too personal. I'll just say I love San Angelo, TX :)

 

[ScoutTN]

Love where we live! I would like a bit bigger house and yard, but we can afford what we have and it is a very convenient, pleasant area. Besides I can barely keep this house clean...

 

Things I like about TN and Music City:

4 season climate with mild winters

Rolling hills, horse farms, lots of natural areas nearby - pretty!

Excellent library and plenty of cultural activities, nearby and reasonably affordable

Lots of real family farms and great farmers markets

Reasonable COL and good local economy

Lots of homeschoolers here with all that that means - tutorials, enrichment activities, used book sales etc.

Southern culture, but not Deep South and loft of people here who are not from here

Decent airport - you can get here from there

Nice restaurants and shopping (not something we do much, but nice to have when you want it or can afford it)

University town with one competitive school and several smaller ones.

Excellent hospitals, including a Children's hospital.

 

Things I don't like:

Long way from the ocean. 8 hour drive to the Gulf and 9+ to the Atlantic

Public universities are mediocre.

Only pockets of town are really diverse racially and ethnically, though there are many people from many places here on many economic levels.

 

 

I grew up moving around a good bit: OH, VA, RI, NYC, PA, MS and I am glad my kids have a hometown and a sense of place that I didn't have. They will not have the opportunities to travel that I did, but for our family right now, it is a good trade off.

[Upward Journey]

I haven't read all the responses yet.

 

I love where we live right now, but not our living situation (family of 6 in a small apartment).  I didn't think that I would when we got here.  We're in the middle of a city, in another country & very, very far away from all our family.  But this where my husband's job took us.  We had to give up quite a bit to move here, our house w/ a bit of land, pets, chickens, living down the road from family,and now being close to grandchildren. However, we gained job security which we hadn't had since the recession started in 2007, so it was an even, but sad trade.  Being able to eat and keeping a roof over your head, trumps a lot of things ;)

 

If we could eventually buy a house and move our oldest and his family here, I'd be willing to stay forever :)

[Crimson Wife]

We sometimes catch those "Million Dollar Home" shows on tv.  We laugh, because the houses are so opulent.  We're used to the million dollar homes in Cupertino--where the **cheapest** single family home comes in at $988K.  It's <1300 sf, built in 1955, on a 6300 sf lot.  Oh, look, and it backs up to a major four lane road.  Top school district though!  Nice house, but not what you think of for a million dollars.

 

Nowhere near a beach either.

 

We moved from the Peninsula into the inland East Bay at the end of '09 in search of cheaper housing. "Cheaper" being a relative term. The median price/sq. ft. in my town is $370. Next town over (with better schools) is $424/s.f. Next town over from that is $525/s.f.  The town on the Peninsula where we moved from has a median price of $551/s.f.

 

Whereas my hometown in an affluent suburb of Boston has a median price of $186/s.f. and most homes are on 1-2+ acres of land.

[kroe1]

We live between two homes in south Florida, one we are trying to sell. South Florida is gorgeous and the weather is perfect. I love it here, but the first two years we were here I hated it because I missed my friends and former lifestyle. Even paradise took a while to appreciate. Do not give up on your new town just yet.

[Dory]

Up here in the north, it's too cold for poisonous spiders, venomous snakes (even garter snakes don't come this far north), and skunks. The problem is, it's too nasty in the winters for me to survive either. By the end of winter, every year, I am going crazy. The growing season is too short to grow melons, most flowers, and many varieties of corn without a greenhouse. It rains too much in the summer. It's more common for someone to be chased by a wolf or a moose then by a stray dog. There is LOTS of clay and swamp. The mud sticks to the boots and (I kid you not) you can add 10lbs per foot just by walking across the yard after a few days of rain.

 

 

[Wheres Toto]

I like where I live.  The cost of living is high but jobs tend to pay a little bit better and be more available.  Dd had no problem finding a job in high school and one that works around her college schedule. 

 

I'm within a short drive of multiple grocery stores (including a couple 24 hour ones), pharmacies, doctors, restaurants, Target, Walmart, Costco, BJ's, Sam's Club, IKEA.

A slightly longer drive or train to two major cities (NY and Philly).

We live in a nice quiet neighborhood where our nearest neighbors aren't that close, one border is a river with a county park on the other side, and a farm out at the entrance.  Yet we aren't too far from major highways and jobs. (my job is a 10 minute commute away).

We don't utilize it right now (maybe high school) but we're in a good school district, in a fairly affluent area.

Lots of diversity - religiously, racially, ethnically, economically.

Homeschooling is super-duper easy.  Lots of activities - my kids currently do zumba, swimming, yoga, fencing, ice skating, art classes at an art museum, private zoo tours, and bowling.

Too cold for a lot of poisonous spiders or snakes, but we still have a decent growing season and fairly short winters.

No tornados, or earthquakes (or very mild ones).  We're far enough inland that the hurricanes aren't too bad.

Close to the beach, the mountains, historical areas, amusement parks.

 

I probably appreciate it more because I grew up here.  But, all that is why we don't move even though our house is way too small.

[FaithManor]

Oh my goodness, I just found a house for rent on Lake Atitlan, Guatemala and has a view of 2 volcanos. Gorgeous, huge 2 bedroom, utilities and a gardner's services included. It's available weekly or monthly. Long term rental is only $700.00 a month.

 

Yep, I feel an extended vacation coming on. If the internet is good, I wonder if DH could get permission to "work from home" there for a month so we could check out the country. Ideally, I'd like to stay 90 days on the tourist visa, but I know he can't be gone that long and neither can I....4-H, college apps this fall, college visits, eldest having two dual enrollment classes for the autumn term, dog...dog....dog....(I don't think MIL would keep him more than a month).

 

I want to go NOW! LOL