RanchGirl Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 If you offered to make something to bring to your in-law's Christmas dinner (because you're a great cook and a generous person), and she replied a week later with what I consider to be obnoxious specific shopping assignment: "bring grapes and strawberries for my fruit salad". Would you just bring what you were assigned, or ask her to pick them up and offer to reimburse her, or what? We only buy organic fruit so it will be a bit tricky to find grapes and strawberries at this time of year, but probably not impossible. I might be able to order them online. My in-laws don't eat anything organic, but they know we do (and this, along with everything I do, really bugs her. She totally hates me. I used to care, but I don't anymore. I mean, even recycling offends her. Forget homeschooling...). I am just annoyed because when someone offers to bring something to my house, I will say "thanks, what do you feel like bringing?" "bring your favorite salad or side-dish" or "bring a dessert". Not "bring ingredients for this dish I am making". It may or may not be relevant, but she came to my house for a birthday/early Thanksgiving dinner, where I cooked a turkey and all the trimmings and she did not offer to bring one thing. She never offers to bring anything to any meal I prepare. On the positive side, this is a step-up. She once asked me to peel the potatoes when I offered to bring something. Not buy them, not cook them, just show up and peel them for her. Anyhoo, this got longer than expected. I am looking for a creative way to shut this down, because I just have no desire to bring grapes and strawberries. My husband says it's my own fault for offering to bring something at all. All I can think of is to put together the most beautiful grape and strawberry plate that has ever been imagined. Cover some in chocolate, form an intricate design, etc. But then she couldn't use them in her fruit salad. I *wish* she had asked me to bring applesauce (like someone else posted about here around Thanksgiving)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I think we've had lots of people post here that they don't like others to bring prepared foods to their dinners, so her "rejection" of your offer isn't necessarily outside the norm. I have to say, I agree with your DH on this one. FWIW, you now know she is serving a fruit salad and if you want it to be organic you'll have to bring your own stuff. I would buy non-organic since the rest of the ingredients probably won't be organic either and be done with it. This only has to be an issue if you want to make it an issue due to all the extra baggage in the relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Well, it would annoy me, but I'd cheerfully bring the conventionally grown grapes and strawberries and be glad I don't have to cook anything after all. I'd grumble and roll my eyes a lot about it in private, though :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I would buy them and let her add them to her own if she wants. Let her know that your family doesn't like them, but would love for her to have them there if she chooses to use them in hers. Though I am usually in the "kill em with kindness" camp when they are being the worst to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I'd bring grapes and strawberries. I'd even bring non organic and if it was a huge deal personally not eat it after assembled, lol. It sounds like she likes to have control and I'd just give it to her and get on with my day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 You asked your host what you could bring. She gave you something specific to bring. I think it would be rude to refuse, even if the specific request is annoying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I would buy the grapes and strawberries as requested. Easy peasy. No big deal at all, and there's no reason they have to be organic, as you already know the other ingredients won't be. If there were something particular you wanted to bring, I think you should have specified it up front instead of hoping she would give you the assignment you wanted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I would take a big deep breath then bring the grapes and strawberries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Bring the grapes and strawberries. You asked and she answered. You're not going to eat the fruit salad anyway, because of the other nonorganic ingredients, so what do you care? You are looking for a fight because she irritates you and judges you to boot. This is really not the hill to die on. Think of it from her side. You asked what you could bring, she answered, and you are irritated because she did not answer in the way you prefer to be answered. You do not have the moral high ground on this. Sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJ. Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I agree that it is annoying but you should just bring the fruit, conventional not organic. Perhaps you should also bring some wine ;) If it makes you feel any better I was asked to bring salad to Thanksgiving. No one eats the salad at Thanksgiving dinner, no one. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMV Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 If you offered to make something to bring to your in-law's Christmas dinner (because you're a great cook and a generous person), and she replied a week later with what I consider to be obnoxious specific shopping assignment: "bring grapes and strawberries for my fruit salad". Would you just bring what you were assigned, or ask her to pick them up and offer to reimburse her, or what? We only buy organic fruit so it will be a bit tricky to find grapes and strawberries at this time of year, but probably not impossible. I might be able to order them online. My in-laws don't eat anything organic, but they know we do (and this, along with everything I do, really bugs her. She totally hates me. I used to care, but I don't anymore. I mean, even recycling offends her. Forget homeschooling...). I am just annoyed because when someone offers to bring something to my house, I will say "thanks, what do you feel like bringing?" "bring your favorite salad or side-dish" or "bring a dessert". Not "bring ingredients for this dish I am making". It may or may not be relevant, but she came to my house for a birthday/early Thanksgiving dinner, where I cooked a turkey and all the trimmings and she did not offer to bring one thing. She never offers to bring anything to any meal I prepare. On the positive side, this is a step-up. She once asked me to peel the potatoes when I offered to bring something. Not buy them, not cook them, just show up and peel them for her. Anyhoo, this got longer than expected. I am looking for a creative way to shut this down, because I just have no desire to bring grapes and strawberries. My husband says it's my own fault for offering to bring something at all. All I can think of is to put together the most beautiful grape and strawberry plate that has ever been imagined. Cover some in chocolate, form an intricate design, etc. But then she couldn't use them in her fruit salad. I *wish* she had asked me to bring applesauce (like someone else posted about here around Thanksgiving)! I say this with compassion, I really do, I think I would just bring her the strawberries and grapes she requested. (You should be able to find organic strawberries and grapes although you may need to do a little searching and you will need to step away from local unless you're in CA or FL.) If you're trying to channel that you are a generous person then I would think you want to bring whatever your host thinks would be the most helpful/useful thing for you to bring. You can certainly back out but if the whole point was to try to help out your MIL and bridge a bit more of the gulf then I wouldn't think you would want to do that. Of course, I am not you and I may be missing something. Have a happy holiday season whatever you decide! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I would not order organic fruit. Just get the grapes and strawberries. I buy organic when I can, but I wash everything in apple cider vinegar and water that makes me feel better because ACV is magic, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I would buy them and let her add them to her own if she wants. Let her know that your family doesn't like them, but would love for her to have them there if she chooses to use them in hers. Though I am usually in the "kill em with kindness" camp when they are being the worst to me. Oh, now, see, that would just be rude. Although it would bug the heck out of me, I would figure I had volunteered for this behavior (which is the norm), and I would go along with it. I would be willing to eat non-organic, as for me it's a preference rather than a dietary requirement, and next time I wouldn't volunteer to bring anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I agree that it is annoying but you should just bring the fruit, conventional not organic. Perhaps you should also bring some wine ;) If it makes you feel any better I was asked to bring salad to Thanksgiving. No one eats the salad at Thanksgiving dinner, no one. lol Well, now you're going to have to bring the most spectacular dang salad ever seen, of course! And then everyone will want to eat it, and that will drive the host satisfyingly crazy. I agree about the wine. That's de rigeur for tense family gatherings, isn't it? Actually, I'm pretty sure it's just wise self-management for ANY family gathering. Or is it just my family? :huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I know this is frustrating and very annoying. But the only way that families with very different viewpoints get along, long-term, is to respect each other's wishes. Sometimes that means respecting the other person for a very long time before they really show any respect for you. If the goal is to be genuinely helpful and to keep the family intact and not let all the little annoyances build up into something much uglier because of differences in personality and viewpoint, then not only do as she asks, but don't show annoyance at doing it. Be supportive, even if it is really hard to do. If the goal is to show off your cooking skills and your lack of respect for the way your MIL functions in life, then you can definitely ignore her request, bring your own dish and show her who's boss. Depends on your goal. She is now a relative, whether that is a comfortable relationship or not. You will have to continue to coexist with her for years to come, and she IS your husband's mom. There is a relationship there that existed long before you came into the picture. Preserving the family dynamic seems a healthier choice to me. It may end up being up to you to keep the extended family functioning and moving in a positive direction, and that may require a very different approach to family gatherings, if you think you are strong enough to do so. Best wishes, whatever you decide to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Am I the only one who assumed SIL instead of MIL here? I wonder what that says about me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted December 15, 2013 Author Share Posted December 15, 2013 Bring the grapes and strawberries. You asked and she answered. You're not going to eat the fruit salad anyway, because of the other nonorganic ingredients, so what do you care? You are looking for a fight because she irritates you and judges you to boot. This is really not the hill to die on. Think of it from her side. You asked what you could bring, she answered, and you are irritated because she did not answer in the way you prefer to be answered. You do not have the moral high ground on this. Sorry. :grouphug: :grouphug: What did I say that makes you think I am looking for a fight, a hill to die on, or moral high ground? I think that would be elevating this to a much higher level than it's worth. I am dealing with a person whose level of common sense and common courtesy is so off the charts it is cartoon-like. There is not a relationship here and nothing to fight with her about, there is nothing to win. I do eat non-organic things at other people's homes and in restaurants, I am not militant about it by any means. I posted here looking for creative responses to this dilemma... missed the mark I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Is there a Whole Foods near you? They should be able to get organic fruit year-round, even if it won't be local and you'll be paying through the nose for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Just bring the grapes and strawberries. Buy non-organic if need be. Step off the ledge and relax. This doesn't have to be a drama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 What did I say that makes you think I am looking for a fight, a hill to die on, or moral high ground? I think that would be elevating this to a much higher level than it's worth. I am dealing with a person whose level of common sense, and common courtesy is so off the charts it is cartoon-like. There is not a relationship here and nothing to fight with her about, there is nothing to win. I do eat non-organic things at other people's homes and in restaurants, I am not militant about it by any means. I posted here looking for creative responses to this dilemma... missed the mark I guess. It came across to me as you being upset that you aren't being given a chance to show off your cooking skills. I think that is what the poster was responding to. There isn't a creative solution. You either choose to help in the manner requested by the host or you don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Well, my first take would be that since you only eat organic fruit, you won't be eating her salad anyway. So, stop at the grocery store, pick up some conventionally grown strawberries and grapes for her fruit salad and the ingredients for a dish of your choice that you meets with your restrictions for your family's consumption, prepare that as well and take it along. If nothing else, your MIL will have her grapes and strawberries and you will have an organic dish for your own family. edit: I posted before I saw you do eat non-organic foods. Still feel the same way. Take what she requested and something of your choice. If nothing else, your family will enjoy it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunflowerlady Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Could you bring the fruit and still make something else to take? That way you can still enjoy cooking something you like ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Could you bring the fruit and still make something else to take? That way you can still enjoy cooking something you like ? Sorry, but it is rude to bring dishes that may throw off the meal. If you don't like her cooking, then eat before you go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted December 15, 2013 Author Share Posted December 15, 2013 It came across to me as you being upset that you aren't being given a chance to show off your cooking skills. I think that is what the poster was responding to. There isn't a creative solution. You either choose to help in the manner requested by the host or you don't. oh my, I really need to work on my presentation then. I like to cook and I'm fairly good at it (so does my MIL, she once had me bring the entree, a lasagna for 16 people), but I have no desire to cook for this family, my intention in offering to bring something was simply to be polite. I will be more than busy enough in the kitchen just getting our Christmas cookies baked. This is not about that at all, and I'm not upset about anything. I could certainly make a decent dish if she wanted me to, or I can bring nothing if she has it all covered. I just think it's funny that my MIL would ask me to bring ingredients for something she is preparing. It's similar to being asked to bring over flour and pepper. Who does that? I feel sure there is a creative response to this, but if you don't, please don't feel obligated to inform me I'm being rude by not getting excited about doing someone else's grocery shopping! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I'd just bring them and not think about it at all. You can buy inorganic or organic, whichever you prefer and can find. If you can't find organic, definitely bring inorganic. I'd just buy the nicest I could find of both, and leave it at that. I'd also bring a nice "hostess gift" that you think she might like -- wine or flowers or chocolates or something like that. Hand this to your MIL when you arrive with a smile and thanks for hosting. Then be nice guests. That's it! Next time, just don't offer to bring anything. If your dh wants to offer, then let him handle the communications. (You can surely help him fix or shop for any assignment, but just stay out of the communications.) Instead, give a nice hostess gift and just enjoy not having to cook. Just be nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I feel sure there is a creative response to this, but if you don't, please don't feel obligated to inform me I'm being rude by not getting excited about doing someone else's grocery shopping! That is not at all what I said. I think it is a little crazy to ask someone to bring ingredients. I wouldn't be excited about that either. Those feelings aren't rude. But, I would do as requested because I think it would be rude to do anything else. You don't have to agree, but I thought you were looking for opinions? The title of the thread does ask WWYD, yes? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Honestly, there probably is a creative response to this, but not one that isn't equally as…uncomfortable...as her response to you. Trying to one-up her just escalates the whole thing, and replying and saying something to the effect of "I'm not going to do your grocery shopping" will do the same. I guess I'm not really sure what the big deal is here? Either way, you'd be spending money on ingredients and time on preparation. Either way, the fruit you'd get at her house wouldn't be organic, so it makes no sense for you to stress over tracking down organic grapes and strawberries. Either way, she's kinda crazy, so the best, kindest, easiest solution would be to just shake your head in sorrow and say, "It must be hard living with all that crazy in your head," and bring the fruit. And don't offer again. Try not to take it so personally. You made a nice offer and she responded in poor form. Find comfort in taking the high road. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I'm totally stealing this and putting it on FB. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 If she never has brought something to your house and hasn't asked you to bring anything to her house, perhaps she considers that the polite thing is for the host to provide ALL the food. Perhaps she thinks it is rude to expect a guest to provide part of the dinner. You're a guest, not a host. Perhaps she feels awkward that you keep asking to bring something. Perhaps in her mind you are being the rude one. Does she think, "Why does Mildred always want to bring something? Doesn't she know I'm the host and will provide everything? Does she hate my food?" It could be a clash of customs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I'm totally stealing this and putting it on FB. Where do you think I stole it from? :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 What did I say that makes you think I am looking for a fight, a hill to die on, or moral high ground? I think that would be elevating this to a much higher level than it's worth. I am dealing with a person whose level of common sense and common courtesy is so off the charts it is cartoon-like. There is not a relationship here and nothing to fight with her about, there is nothing to win. I do eat non-organic things at other people's homes and in restaurants, I am not militant about it by any means. I posted here looking for creative responses to this dilemma... missed the mark I guess. Your original post sounds very angry. You labelled her response "obnoxious", state that she hates you, say that you are annoyed, ask for a creative way to shut it down, and consider presenting the requested items in such a way as to be unusable for her intended purpose. You can tell yourself you are not fighting with her, but your post suggests that you are. In laws are difficult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 In my family that would be an extremely polite request. It's simple enough not to trouble someone unduly by demanding they put in much time when they are obviously busy people, yet it is not so inexpensive as to be a fob off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 Where do you think I stole it from? :laugh: :smilielol5: OK, well, I'm stealing it for MY FB feed! Of course, then all my relatives will be wondering who it is I'm referring to, soooo…maybe not :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 If she never has brought something to your house and hasn't asked you to bring anything to her house, perhaps she considers that the polite thing is for the host to provide ALL the food. Perhaps she thinks it is rude to expect a guest to provide part of the dinner. You're a guest, not a host. Perhaps she feels awkward that you keep asking to bring something. Perhaps in her mind you are being the rude one. Does she think, "Why does Mildred always want to bring something? Doesn't she know I'm the host and will provide everything? Does she hate my food?" It could be a clash of customs. RanchGirl, you will forevermore be known as Mildred in my head :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I would bring the grapes and strawberries. I would not order them online. I look at my usual grocery store, and perhaps one more. if they were in stock for a reasonable price, I would buy some. I wouldn't make a special trip, and I wouldn't pay an astronomical price. perhaps she doesn't offer to bring anything to your house because you only buy organic and feels that nothing she could bring would pass your test. you can always make something else, along with your offering of strawberries and grapes for her fruit salad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted December 15, 2013 Share Posted December 15, 2013 I would make whatever I'd said I'd make, bring whatever fruit she asked for and not care if it was organic. If she'd bought it herself it wouldn't be and you'd either eat it or not, and this doesn't change that. I don't think she was at all rude. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 I would bring what she asked- and get the non-organic kind so as not to waste money. and then, I'd make a kick-ass fruit salad of a different kind, with all the good oraganic ingredients that my family likes, and I would bring it with me. (if I feel smug later when my fruit salad is devoured by everyone and her fruit-cocktail-sh fruit salad sits there, heh, no one else needs to know, but I would be smiling insided) and then I wouldn't offer ever again, since she can't play nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Why would you ask if you didn't really want an answer? Why would you then look for a way to creatively not do the simple thing she asked? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 If MIL were ordinarily pleasant and didn't, you know, hate you, I might think she was trying to accommodate your eating preferences. Grapes and strawberries are usually on those "dirty dozen" lists of fruits and vegetables with the most pesticides, so I might imagine she was attempting to make a fruit salad you would be more comfortable eating. Maybe. But as she isn't pleasant or reasonable (and I'm really curious about how recycling can be offensive), I wouldn't bother trying to figure out her motives. As most everybody else has said: just take the fruit and keep full your glass of Holiday Cabernet. But I certainly don't blame you for being miffed. What would be a perfectly normal gesture from one person can be a pretty obvious slight from another, and it sounds like you've certainly got the experience here to tell the difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 The title of the thread does ask WWYD, yes? you're right it does. Thanks everyone for your feedback! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 Your original post sounds very angry. You labelled her response "obnoxious", state that she hates you, say that you are annoyed, ask for a creative way to shut it down, and consider presenting the requested items in such a way as to be unusable for her intended purpose. You can tell yourself you are not fighting with her, but your post suggests that you are. In laws are difficult. Thanks for clarifying. I will work on the tone of my posts. I am in fact not angry or fighting for anything here, fruit or otherwise. I have been angry with her in the past, when I thought there was something worth fighting for, but after 20 years I realized it's useless, it has nothing to do with me, and there is no possibility of having the warm relationship I would like. Now I just find her ridiculous behavior funny and try not to take it personally. Thanks for your thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chelle in MO Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Just because I feel like complaining, who makes a salad with strawberries this time of year? Or do you live somewhere better than I do? I "liked" your post, but I just had to quote it, too, and say how funny it struck me that you said somewhere better instead of just somewhere different! Awesome. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 I think it was a somewhat insulting request, but I would honor it. I would buy the stuff, nonorganic, and I wouldn't bring anything else. Be the bigger person. Take the high road. Though you will be alone there (she is not up there with you.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted December 16, 2013 Author Share Posted December 16, 2013 To those who suggested coping with wine - I wish!! We were actually not allowed to have a champagne toast at our wedding because of my MIL. Maybe I can sneak in a hidden flask.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 Well, strawberries are pretty pricey, especially off-season for a crowd. Apples can be cheap enough, but if you buy a favorite variety, they aren't particularly cheap, especially for a crowd. If you are talking 20 people, I could easily see spending $20 on strawberries (4 big containers) and another $15 on apples (10 lb @1.50/lb), but then again, we are HUGE fruit eaters, lol, so I probably over-buy. So, well, given that you can spend $30-35 on the fruit (surely more if it is organic or buy more than my guesstimates), then that can be a substantial help to someone hosting a large gathering. So, maybe it is just a little financial help, and plus, she knows she'll need to trim the berries and apples right before serving the salad, so having you bring them puts you on deck to wash and trim them, too, so that could be quite helpful since the hostess is probably really busy at serving time. I spent at least $150 shopping for Thanksgiving dinner and another family dinner the following day, and that didn't include the meat or the wine! (We buy local beef by the freezer full, and dh picked up the bird another day.) And, I was only serving 7 people! I am sure there was at least $200 - $300 spent on those two meals for 7 people. And, we don't even HAVE a fancy organic grocery! If I was shopping at Whole Foods, Lord knows how much more I'd have spent! So, maybe your MIL is just looking for an easy way for you to help a bit financially and practically. So, anyway, one way or another, she is the hostess, and she asked you to bring something helpful to her and easy for you. Sounds like a no brainer to me, just do it. :) You asked WWYD, and that's what I'd do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 To those who suggested coping with wine - I wish!! We were actually not allowed to have a champagne toast at our wedding because of my MIL. Maybe I can sneak in a hidden flask.... I suppose infusing the fruit with wine would be all kinds of wrong, then... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 oh my, I really need to work on my presentation then. I like to cook and I'm fairly good at it (so does my MIL, she once had me bring the entree, a lasagna for 16 people), but I have no desire to cook for this family, my intention in offering to bring something was simply to be polite. I will be more than busy enough in the kitchen just getting our Christmas cookies baked. This is not about that at all, and I'm not upset about anything. I could certainly make a decent dish if she wanted me to, or I can bring nothing if she has it all covered. I just think it's funny that my MIL would ask me to bring ingredients for something she is preparing. It's similar to being asked to bring over flour and pepper. Who does that? I feel sure there is a creative response to this, but if you don't, please don't feel obligated to inform me I'm being rude by not getting excited about doing someone else's grocery shopping! And your MIL's intention, knowing that you have no desire to cook for them, was to suggest something which is very simple to do. She also wanted to be polite, I assume. Were you looking for something exciting? You already said you didn't want to cook for them, you only asked to be polite. I really don't see what's the problem. You are both just working on appearances, and instead of asking you to cook a complicated dish (if you are honest with yourself, would you have loved that?) she asked you something incredibly simple and easy to do. I don't think she wants you buy organic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 To those who suggested coping with wine - I wish!! We were actually not allowed to have a champagne toast at our wedding because of my MIL. Maybe I can sneak in a hidden flask.... Wine...grapes... There's a recipe for chocolate covered strawberries that were soaked in vodka... You could stash your booze in the car and just keep forgetting things. Make sure to finish it off before you go (assuming you're not driving, lol) so no open container concerns. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted December 16, 2013 Share Posted December 16, 2013 You could always edit the title. LOL I do feel your pain. I have a controlling mean MIL. The only reason I stay sane is because I don't have to see her much and I never have to talk to her. I don't want to learn how to speak German because I don't really want to know what she thinks (I've already heard more than enough about what she thinks). I had the same former MIL, except it was Spanish I refused to learn more of. As it was, I spoke and understood enough to hear...enough. Horrible human being she was. Is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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