Seat saving--rude or brilliant??

[Farrar]

Agreed that it's like cutting in line.  Or like being that person at the grocery store who leaves their cart in line and then goes to get a million other things.

 

Just because it's not illegal, immoral or against some church policy doesn't make it any less rude.

[Wheres Toto]

I've been to opening night showings of Twilight and Hunger Games.  There is always at least one group that arrives close to the last minute and walks up to join someone toward the front of the line.  It's annoying.

 

I would expect the coats to be moved for any people who aren't there about 5 minutes before the service starts so the ushers have time to seat people without disturbing anything.

[songsparrow]

I have saved seats at our church at any service, including Christmas.  I was often there early (by an hour or so) with my kids who were preparing to sing in the choir.  I would select our seats and save spots for my kids (who would sit with us later in the service after the children's choir had sung) and my husband and grandparents, so I often ended up saving a whole row for 8 people.  The rest of them would arrive closer to the scheduled start of the service.  I think it's reasonable that we all want to sit together - we're a family. I expect families to sit together at church services.  But that doesn't mean that elderly family members or toddlers need to arrive an hour early.  I have no problem with other people saving seats, either.  

[AlmiraGulch]

It's beyond rude.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to sit together as a family, but then the family should show up and be seated together.  

[xixstar]

This just reminds me of my high school graduation. Large class and my whole family was there early to get seats. Everywhere was blocked with saved seats and it was still very early too.

 

We finally made a couple mad and sat in the space they were saving by insisting so many family was coming. But I remember being pushy about it and insisting that since my family was all present, we were going to take an available seat (and it still left them with many seats too). Oy, they were mad. Their family eventually arrived and filled only half of what they were left with.

[poppy]

I have saved seats at our church at any service, including Christmas.  I was often there early (by an hour or so) with my kids who were preparing to sing in the choir.  I would select our seats and save spots for my kids (who would sit with us later in the service after the children's choir had sung) and my husband and grandparents, so I often ended up saving a whole row for 8 people.  The rest of them would arrive closer to the scheduled start of the service.  I think it's reasonable that we all want to sit together - we're a family. I expect families to sit together at church services.  But that doesn't mean that elderly family members or toddlers need to arrive an hour early.  I have no problem with other people saving seats, either.  

 

Are there not enough seats to sit together when the rest of your family arrives?

[DawnM]

Having just come back from a flight where I took SouthWest and dealt with seatsavers, I can tell you that it is VERY frustrating.

 

You walk around asking, "May I sit here?"  Nope, "How about here?" Nope

 

I felt like Forest Gump walking on to the school bus the first day.  Taken, Taken, Taken.

 

It is rude.  If you are saving a seat for your elderly mother who went to the restroom but has already arrived, fine……but just to send one to get there early to save for everyone else, NO.

[Guest]

I would lean toward rude but hey if the church allows it...

 

You could suggest the church take a page from synagogues and sell tickets to big masses.

 

Our church has been doing this for the past few years. I am SO relieved! Nobody needs to come hours early. You know well ahead of time what service you are attending and you know there will be a parking spot and a seat for yourself and your family. We already have our tickets for Christmas service. I prefer Christmas Eve, but I didn't reserve early enough, so I had to settle for the day before. Seems fair to me.

 

In the world of everyone-cannot-be-pleased, though, I have heard complaints from church members that think it's appalling to offer tickets for the Christmas services. 

 

I actually don't think it's rude to save seats for people who are definitely coming, but I am very glad our church has the tickets. Totally solves that problem. 

[teachermom2834]

I just want to mention that Christmas Eve Mass in every Catholic church I've been too is just crazy. So crowded, loud, etc.  Completely different from any other day.  Plus, the 5:30 time lots of churches do it is just so hard on kids.  Arrive by 4:00 to gets seats, sit around forever before Mass even starts, get home at almost 8:00.  When do we eat dinner? 

 

A few years back we decided to go Christmas morning instead.  Absolutely lovely.  It was a big change in breaking with tradition but we will never switch back.  Church is quiet and peaceful.  We can show up right on time or even a few minutes late and walk in to good seats.  It is mostly old folks and they love seeing the kids in their Christmas best.  Plus, we have a really nice Christmas Eve dinner at home and relax and play games while getting stockings up, leaving cookies, etc.  So much less stressful.  Just an option Catholics forget about because the Christmas Eve Mass tradition is so strong.

[ktgrok]

Interesting point.  I am a fairly regular churchgoer.  I do not have a particular seat I care to sit in.  It is rare that I have trouble finding someplace to sit, even if I arrive after the service begins.

 

I don't think of getting a "good seat," whatever that means.  Though there are times I try to sit on the end so I can see my petite girls when they are singing or performing in church.  One Christmas I had such a seat (chosen in a pew that was otherwise mostly full), and then the pastors told everyone to slide closer together so latecomers could sit.  So I could not even see the tops of my kids' heads as they did their thing up front.  That was no fun.  But if I were just visiting and we were not otherwise involved in the church, why not just sit wherever?  Everyone can see and hear the pastor.

 

I think what people are talking about is churches where everyone can't get a seat. On regular Sundays my current parish has a lot of people standing, because there are not enough seats. I can't imagine what it will be like on Christmas Eve. 

 

So we are talking about people who got there say, 30 minutes early, having to stand during the whole service while those that got there right on time get to sit, because someone else saved them a seat. So you have people standing in the back, with no seat, and seats with no people, just jackets. 

[ktgrok]

I have saved seats at our church at any service, including Christmas.  I was often there early (by an hour or so) with my kids who were preparing to sing in the choir.  I would select our seats and save spots for my kids (who would sit with us later in the service after the children's choir had sung) and my husband and grandparents, so I often ended up saving a whole row for 8 people.  The rest of them would arrive closer to the scheduled start of the service.  I think it's reasonable that we all want to sit together - we're a family. I expect families to sit together at church services.  But that doesn't mean that elderly family members or toddlers need to arrive an hour early.  I have no problem with other people saving seats, either.  

 

I totally understand if you are there early to help out, serve, be in the choir, etc. That makes sense. You SHOULD get a perk for that :)

[momofkhm]

I think it's fine to save seats for your immediate family.  Saving an entire pew (unless it's a short one, and just big enough for your family) is obnoxious IMO. 

 

See this is my family and church size.  If no one is serving for the service, all I need is one set of grandparents, and we fill a pew.  Or maybe we have one seat left over.  I'm not looking forward to the Christmas Eve that I am alone in the pew because dh is on sound, dd is singing, ds is acolyte and other dd goes with (currently non-existent) boyfriend.  Oh and grandparents aren't here either.

[chiguirre]

I think what people are talking about is churches where everyone can't get a seat. On regular Sundays my current parish has a lot of people standing, because there are not enough seats. I can't imagine what it will be like on Christmas Eve. 

 

So we are talking about people who got there say, 30 minutes early, having to stand during the whole service while those that got there right on time get to sit, because someone else saved them a seat. So you have people standing in the back, with no seat, and seats with no people, just jackets. 

 

Oh, KT, I think you can imagine what it will be like! :sneaky2:

 

In our parish, there have already been warning announcements in the bulletin about seat saving. They mean business. If you're not there at least an hour in advance, I doubt you will even be able to stand in the back of the church, you'll be lucky to get into the narthex. The children's choir call time is an hour before mass and I fully expect to have to squeeze in somewhere. I'm just hoping not to have to stand for 2 and a half hours.

 

I love the ticket idea. They couldn't actually sell them, but they could have the line early in the day and people would know if they have a seat or not and could decide about attending accordingly.

 

[SKL]

If it is normal for people to be standing in church, maybe they should offer more church services.  That sounds ridiculous.  I would not attend a service that regularly had standing room only.

[Laurie4b]

It is normal to do in our church for a special event. No big deal. There is always enough seating for everyone. It's a way for families to sit together when teens are dribbling in from other places, etc.

[ktgrok]

If it is normal for people to be standing in church, maybe they should offer more church services.  That sounds ridiculous.  I would not attend a service that regularly had standing room only.

 

There is already a 5pm saturday night, an 8am, 10am, noon, and 5:30pm service on Sunday. The sunday evening service has plenty of room, and I've never been to the 8am. The rest are full. 

[Upward Journey]

I just want to mention that Christmas Eve Mass in every Catholic church I've been too is just crazy. So crowded, loud, etc. Completely different from any other day. Plus, the 5:30 time lots of churches do it is just so hard on kids. Arrive by 4:00 to gets seats, sit around forever before Mass even starts, get home at almost 8:00. When do we eat dinner?

 

A few years back we decided to go Christmas morning instead. Absolutely lovely. It was a big change in breaking with tradition but we will never switch back. Church is quiet and peaceful. We can show up right on time or even a few minutes late and walk in to good seats. It is mostly old folks and they love seeing the kids in their Christmas best. Plus, we have a really nice Christmas Eve dinner at home and relax and play games while getting stockings up, leaving cookies, etc. So much less stressful. Just an option Catholics forget about because the Christmas Eve Mass tradition is so strong.

I love Christmas morning service. Unfortunately, my family is not of the same opinion.

[JFSinIL]

Sigh.  The local churches here tie their kid's concert program to the church service - you have to sit yourself and coats down as soon as you drop the kid off at 2:00pm...then have the rest of the family show up at 2:45 for the concert that starts at 3:00 (and mostly NOT traditional carols but slow, dull, awful songs I think the choir director wrote - same songs each year) if you do not sit through the concert you will NOT have a seat for mass at 4:00.....

 

Most folks either have a kid in the concert and grab seats at 2, or come before 3 and sit in what remains in the back....there are no seats left for anyone just wanting mass.  

 

There is no evening service.  MIdnight just doesn't work for us.

[elegantlion]

It rude to the people who show up "early" or on time and have nowhere to sit. IMO, it's acceptable to save seats for people who are on the property, not those that might be at home doing their hair or still getting ready. 

[FriedClams]

I'd approach the pastor/priest/boss and ask for a clarification on policy in the weekly bulletin. "Feel free to come and reserve seats for our treasured Christmas Eve Mass. Please be aware that any seats not filled with bodies at 6:45 (15 minutes prior to the service) will be used by the ushers and filled wth waiting guests and all jackets/coats/etc will need to be removed. Additionally, you may be asked to make room for other parishioners on your pew. Please, let's all work together to welcome our guests and visitors and make them feel valued and welcome at St. ______'s."

 

I'm sure someone could word it better than me.

[KrissiK]

I think it's terribly rude to save more than one or two seats. Makes me mad when I see people do it at any event.

[Miss Mousie]

I think it's rude.  Either everyone shows up together or you take your chances.  I would accept seat-saving in the following circumstances:  (1) a mother tending to an infant; (2) an elderly person who can't sit for long periods, or has to use the bathroom, or needs to be on an aisle to accommodate the walker, etc.; (3) one person who is just socializing for a few minutes and will be right back; or (4) one person who was unable (but not unwilling) to arrive earlier or was a participant.  Do I sound curmudgeonly yet?  :p  Read on!

 

Got two or more kids participating?  Great.  Squish in.  Offer your lap.  Send an older kid to stand against the wall.  Let someone go sit with a friend's family.  You'll reunite in an hour or two.

 

I kind of don't get why it's so critical that the entire family sit together.  It's church.  You're not supposed to be chatting with each other, you're supposed to be paying attention.  Need to reprimand your squabbling littles?  Here's an idea - split them up so they can't squabble!  Need to explain a concept your kid hasn't heard before?  Jot it in your bulletin and discuss it at home.

 

Wow.  I think you hit a nerve, OP. 

 

I should probably delete most of this, but I'm finding it strangely cathartic.  I beg the indulgence of my fellow Hivers.

 

 

[Word Nerd]

I agree that it's rude and selfish to save multiple seats in a situation where seating is limited and it forces others to have to stand or be turned away. I think the church leaders should do a better job of managing the crowds in those situations. It's not a big deal at our school concerts because there are always plenty of seats available; you just may not get the seat you want.

[LucyStoner]

I've been to opening night showings of Twilight and Hunger Games. There is always at least one group that arrives close to the last minute and walks up to join someone toward the front of the line. It's annoying.

 

 

People local to me tend to be passive agressive and not very vocal about social behavior that annoys them but here, that would get the whole lot booted to the back of the line. Save a spot for your date while they park, ok. For a long early line up though if you want a spot at the head of the line, ya need to be there your very own self. Theater employees will boot you if the glares and comments from others don't motivate you to stay honest and stick to the line. It would seem to me that if something is uncouth and rude in a movie line, it is likely triply rude in a house of worship.

[SKL]

Well, I feel a lot of the value of going to church is that it's a family experience.  Therefore I probably wouldn't attend if I couldn't be with family - except, of course, on those days when my kids are in the service.

 

I think it makes sense for churches to encourage families to sit together.  There is a sense that kids who see their parents (particularly their father) worshiping with them will have a much more valuable experience than if they sit separately.  It is also probably a good way to make young people behave respectfully in church.

[Aura]

There is nothing at all rude about making arrangements for your group. This includes saving seats. It is no more rude to save seats than it is for one person to stand in line and purchase tickets for a large group. If what you're doing is open to everyone (saving seats), then it is not rude to take advantage of this.

 

It is rude to begrudge those that make an effort to meet the logistics of their group, even if it inconveniences you. (Being frustrated is understandable. Holding it against someone else because they took advantage of the same opportunities that were open to you is rude.)

 

It is arrogant to assume that one group (adults) has the ability to be there early for an event when another group (kids or elderly) does not.

 

It is rude to save seats that are not being used or to use more room than necessary while others are left to stand.

 

It is rude to remain seated when those who are physically indisposed are left to stand (elderly, pregnant mother or one holding a child, physically injured, etc.).

 

It is the host's responsibility to enforce the behavior they expect from their guests.

 

 

 

My NSHO.  :D  Feel free to flame away.

[Upward Journey]

There is nothing at all rude about making arrangements for your group. This includes saving seats. It is no more rude to save seats than it is for one person to stand in line and purchase tickets for a large group. If what you're doing is open to everyone (saving seats), then it is not rude to take advantage of this.

 

It is rude to begrudge those that make an effort to meet the logistics of their group, even if it inconveniences you. (Being frustrated is understandable. Holding it against someone else because they took advantage of the same opportunities that were open to you is rude.)

 

It is arrogant to assume that one group (adults) has the ability to be there early for an event when another group (kids or elderly) does not.

 

It is rude to save seats that are not being used or to use more room than necessary while others are left to stand.

 

It is rude to remain seated when those who are physically indisposed are left to stand (elderly, pregnant mother or one holding a child, physically injured, etc.).

 

It is the host's responsibility to enforce the behavior they expect from their guests.

 

 

 

My NSHO. :D Feel free to flame away.

No flames here. Completely agree.

[bettyandbob]

There were a few years I attended church regularly with family every week EXCEPT Christmas and Easter. I knew it wasn't right to skip those days, but the experience of jockeying for positions was so unpleasant that I got nothing spiritual out of it.

[wapiti]

There is already a 5pm saturday night, an 8am, 10am, noon, and 5:30pm service on Sunday. The sunday evening service has plenty of room, and I've never been to the 8am. The rest are full. 

 

FWIW, our normal 8am is also standing room only.

 

I hate getting there early (and I'm not so good at it).  I don't mind standing except that's hard for the little kids.  We need more parishes - we are out west where there isn't one on every corner.

[Ewe Mama]

Our church has a 4:00 family service on Christmas Eve for families with young children, as well as a 7:00 and an 11:30. Our children always participate in the early service and go immediately into final rehearsals when we arrive early. This is true of the majority of the families who attend the early service. I head into the sanctuary (along with the other parents of participating children) and we spread out our coats on the needed seats. We are all in the building, but not all necessarily in the sanctuary at the same time. I cannot tell you how many times I have received dirty looks from people who only show up on Christmas Eve, never to be seen again until the following Christmas Eve. I think it is because they are not accustomed to large families and they assume we are saving seats for half of the world. About 10 minutes before the service starts, the children take their seats and we are able to worship as a family.

 

The once a year attenders seem to choose this service because it is the earliest in town and then they can get on with the rest of their plans and check church attendance off of their lists of things to do. The early service is not quiet and reflective. It tends to be rather rowdy and very imperfect as the children are presenting their Christmas gifts to The Lord. It is packed by the church families with young children every year. ( We have a lot of young families). The later services are just as full, but more emphasis is placed upon receiving visitors and guests, so seat saving is less likely to occur.

[poppy]

There is nothing at all rude about making arrangements for your group. This includes saving seats. It is no more rude to save seats than it is for one person to stand in line and purchase tickets for a large group. If what you're doing is open to everyone (saving seats), then it is not rude to take advantage of this.

 

It is rude to begrudge those that make an effort to meet the logistics of their group, even if it inconveniences you. (Being frustrated is understandable. Holding it against someone else because they took advantage of the same opportunities that were open to you is rude.)

 

It is arrogant to assume that one group (adults) has the ability to be there early for an event when another group (kids or elderly) does not.

 

It is rude to save seats that are not being used or to use more room than necessary while others are left to stand.

 

It is rude to remain seated when those who are physically indisposed are left to stand (elderly, pregnant mother or one holding a child, physically injured, etc.).

 

It is the host's responsibility to enforce the behavior they expect from their guests.

 

 

 

My NSHO.  :D  Feel free to flame away.

 

I'll bite.

 

If 'arrangements' for your group includes one person going early and everyone else taking their time, then moseying in at the last minute? I do begrudge you that.  I go to church solo with two kids, both under age 5.  I do not have the opportunity to save seats in advance.  It's not that "everyone" has a spare adult around to save seats.

 

If it's really important for the family to stay together, then go together. If there is a toddler or a frail elderly person, of course that person can come in late (and a parent with the toddler). If you're saving a seat for an 8 year old and a retired couple who are still able bodied? While seeing other families come in and have nowhere to sit? You're being a jerk.

[unsinkable]

I'm loving all the arbitrary made up rules and how everyone thinks her arbitrary made up rules are the right ones but everyone else's arbitrary made up rules are wrong.

 

You may save a seat for a grandparent over 65 with a hip replacement but not a 30-something single uncle unless he is a tow truck driver who is late because he recently pulled a van of orphans from a ditch.

[SKL]

But if you buy tickets, then nobody even has to show up early and you still get to sit in a seat together.  I guess showing up 1.5 hours early is not a virtue after all.

[SKL]

I too was wondering how we think we know why everyone else is not early.  I could see someone like my dad going to pick up his elderly mom and she isn't ready because she needed help with xyz.  Does Dad get to sit?  Of course my dad would be the one willingly giving up his seat to make others comfortable.  It's Christmas, people.

[elegantlion]

I'll bite.

 

If 'arrangements' for your group includes one person going early and everyone else taking their time, then moseying in at the last minute? I do begrudge you that.  I go to church solo with two kids, both under age 5.  I do not have the opportunity to save seats in advance.  It's not that "everyone" has a spare adult around to save seats.

 

If it's really important for the family to stay together, then go together. If there is a toddler or a frail elderly person, of course that person can come in late (and a parent with the toddler). If you're saving a seat for an 8 year old and a retired couple who are still able bodied? While seeing other families come in and have nowhere to sit? You're being a jerk.

 

Is also rude to think you deserve better seats because you sent one of your group ahead. It's also rude to assume others may not have unseen reasons they need a seat or a closer seat and made arrangements to get there early enough to do so (bad knees, vision issues, hearing issues, bad back, etc). Many of these conditions may be reasons a person desires a better seat and arrives on time to get to that seat. 

 

Saving an entire pew is like driving all over the road and speeding because you're in a hurry and running late. It assumes you are more "special" than the people who are already there. Common courtesy says that is all of your party can't arrive at the same time, you will take the back seats or whatever seats are left. 

[LucyStoner]

It is no more rude to save seats than it is for one person to stand in line and purchase tickets for a large group.

Buy tickets? Sure. Not at all a problem. Entrance line for ticket holders to sold out open seat things like movies (since many buy in advance or online)? Not only rude but usually totally out of bounds. A large group cutting in line pushes someone who was actually there earlier to a much less desirable seat or in the case of an oversold showing right out the door altogether.

 

"Everyone can" doesn't mean "anyone should".

[Aura]

I'll bite.

 

If 'arrangements' for your group includes one person going early and everyone else taking their time, then moseying in at the last minute? I do begrudge you that.  I go to church solo with two kids, both under age 5.  I do not have the opportunity to save seats in advance.  It's not that "everyone" has a spare adult around to save seats.

 

If it's really important for the family to stay together, then go together. If there is a toddler or a frail elderly person, of course that person can come in late (and a parent with the toddler). If you're saving a seat for an 8 year old and a retired couple who are still able bodied? While seeing other families come in and have nowhere to sit? You're being a jerk.

 

If the opportunity is available to all, the fact that you are not personally able to take advantage of this opportunity is sad for you. You have every reason to be frustrated and are entitled to your own feelings. However, it is still not rude for the others to take advantage of the opportunity.

 

Life is full of opportunities where the sad fact is that not everyone is capable of taking advantage of them. That doesn't mean others should stop because someone, somewhere, can't.

 

It is rude to call someone a jerk for taking advantage of opportunities to care for their group.

[SKL]

Sheesh, I hope all this long list of "it's rude" isn't what people are thinking the whole time I'm sitting in church.  Why go if it's going to make you so cranky?  Sit home, sip hot chocolate, and listen to carols ....

[TechWife]

Our church issues free tickets for large events, such as musical productions. We don't have pews, we have chairs, I don't know if that makes a difference.

 

I can't imagine ticketing a church service, though, even on a holiday. Everyone who wants to come should be able to come. I do go to a large church that has multiple services and an overflow room (multiple overflow rooms, if needed). 

[JumpyTheFrog]

I wonder why nobody has raised the obvious question. Why don't these churches offer multiple services? Maybe one could start before midnight and end just after, and the next service could start at 12:30 (or whatever time is needed to let the parking lot clear put). The "midnight mass" DH's aunts attend is at 10 or 11 pm. That gives the church time for a second one after (if they want).

[poppy]

If the opportunity is available to all, the fact that you are not personally able to take advantage of this opportunity is sad for you. You have every reason to be frustrated and are entitled to your own feelings. However, it is still not rude for the others to take advantage of the opportunity.

 

Life is full of opportunities where the sad fact is that not everyone is capable of taking advantage of them. That doesn't mean others should stop because someone, somewhere, can't.

 

It is rude to call someone a jerk for taking advantage of opportunities to care for their group.

 

Well your defense before was "There is nothing at all rude about making arrangements for your group. This includes saving seats. It is no more rude to save seats than it is for one person to stand in line and purchase tickets for a large group. If what you're doing is open to everyone (saving seats), then it is not rude to take advantage of this."   So in that case, it being "open to everyone" was a factor.

OK. Here's an analogy.

 

You  & your party  could spend the whole Christmas service playing Angry Birds on your iPhone. I don't have an iPhone and thus can't spend the service playing video games.  I can still think it's rude to ignore the solemn, holy service to play a video game, right?

[SKL]

 

If you're saving a seat for an 8 year old and a retired couple who are still able bodied? While seeing other families come in and have nowhere to sit? You're being a jerk.

 

I don't get this.  What difference does it make which able-bodied people need to stand?  If we're talking about elderly or handicapped or pregnant people, then yes, shame on anyone who leaves them to stand.  Even if I got there early I would stand up for a physically compromised person to sit down.

 

[kitten18]

If the opportunity is available to all, the fact that you are not personally able to take advantage of this opportunity is sad for you. You have every reason to be frustrated and are entitled to your own feelings. However, it is still not rude for the others to take advantage of the opportunity.

 

Life is full of opportunities where the sad fact is that not everyone is capable of taking advantage of them. That doesn't mean others should stop because someone, somewhere, can't.

 

It is rude to call someone a jerk for taking advantage of opportunities to care for their group.

 

Many people don't take advantage of this "opportunity" because it's rude, not because they're not able to. 

 

I could easily go sit in a pew and read a book for 2 hours before mass and let my family stroll in 15 before the service but we don't do that because it's rude, not because we can't take advantage of the opportunity.

[unsinkable]

I wonder why nobody has raised the obvious question. Why don't these churches offer multiple services? Maybe one could start before midnight and end just after, and the next service could start at 12:30 (or whatever time is needed to let the parking lot clear put). The "midnight mass" DH's aunts attend is at 10 or 11 pm. That gives the church time for a second one after (if they want).

RCC have only so many priests. They can only do so much.

 

We used to go to 11:00 am Mass on Christmas Day. It's practically empty.

 

Now we go to late Christmas Eve Mass. Carols start 30 minutes before Mass, then Mass. There is always enough room.

 

4PM Christmas Eve and 930 AM Christmas Day are SRO.

[Aura]

Is also rude to think you deserve better seats because you sent one of your group ahead. It's also rude to assume others may not have unseen reasons they need a seat or a closer seat and made arrangements to get there early enough to do so (bad knees, vision issues, hearing issues, bad back, etc). Many of these conditions may be reasons a person desires a better seat and arrives on time to get to that seat. 

 

Saving an entire pew is like driving all over the road and speeding because you're in a hurry and running late. It assumes you are more "special" than the people who are already there. Common courtesy says that is all of your party can't arrive at the same time, you will take the back seats or whatever seats are left.

 

Taking action to achieve the best possible seating does not mean you think you deserve better seating. It's just utilizing the options that are available to you.

 

It is not rude to save an entire pew if you really need that many seats. It is rude to save an entire pew if you do not.

 

If you need special accommodations, then you will have to take extra steps to make them happen.

 

Buy tickets? Sure. Not at all a problem. Entrance line for ticket holders to sold out open seat things like movies (since many buy in advance or online)? Not only rude but usually totally out of bounds. A large group cutting in line pushes someone who was actually there earlier to a much less desirable seat or in the case of an oversold showing right out the door altogether.

 

"Everyone can" doesn't mean "anyone should".

 

Again, if the opportunity is available to all, then there is nothing wrong for using that opportunity. If advance tickets are available, then it is not rude to get them in advance. If there is not a line, then you can't cut in line. If there is open seating, and saving seats is available, then it is not rude to take advantage of this.

 

The fact that you can't is sad, but that doesn't mean that others are rude.

Edited December 13, 2013 by Aura

[QueenCat]

Having just come back from a flight where I took SouthWest and dealt with seatsavers, I can tell you that it is VERY frustrating.

 

You walk around asking, "May I sit here?"  Nope, "How about here?" Nope

 

I felt like Forest Gump walking on to the school bus the first day.  Taken, Taken, Taken.

 

It is rude.  If you are saving a seat for your elderly mother who went to the restroom but has already arrived, fine……but just to send one to get there early to save for everyone else, NO.

 

 

Southwest flight attendants will deal with that very quickly if they are aware of it.... I've seen them tell passengers they can't save seats for people with later boarding.

[poppy]

Taking action to achieve the best possible seating does not mean you think you deserve better seating. It's just utilizing the options that are available to you.

 

It is not rude to save an entire pew if you really need that many seats. It is rude to save an entire pew if you do not.

 

If you need special accommodations, then you will have to take extra steps to make them happen.

 

 

Again, if the opportunity is available to all, then there is nothing wrong for using that opportunity. If advance tickets are available, then it is not rude to get them in advance. If there is not a line, then you can't cut in line. If there is open seating, and saving seats is available, then it is not rude to take advantage of this.

 

The fact that you can't is sad, but that doesn't mean that others are rude.

 

Again, there's that available to all thing.  It's not. 

Why is it not ok to cut in line but it is ok to save seats? I see zero difference.

[SKL]

Southwest flight attendants will deal with that very quickly if they are aware of it.... I've seen them tell passengers they can't save seats for people with later boarding.

 

Really?  Why, when everyone is assured of a seat?  Why would it be wrong or rude for people traveling together to sit together?  Why would anyone want to interfere with that?  Strange.

 

[LucyStoner]

Aura, I am not sure you really understand what I am talking about. Of course it is not rude to buy tickets in advance. For sold out popular movies though with a big fan base, the theaters will have a line for people who have tickets to enter. This might be 1-2 hours early. For Star Wars Episode 7 in might be 2 days early. If you get there early, you can not save a lot of places in line for people who are still not there. It is first come, first serve. If people could let their dozen friends cut ahead, that means that people who were in line before the line cutters will not get to pick their seats. That is not only not fair, it will get you booted to the back of the line via social pressure or an pimply 19 year old movie employee telling you to not do it. For most movies this is not an issue. Buy your tickets, saunter in, save seats. For certain franchises it is a big deal. And as the wife of an über nerdy dude, I am here to tell you that people attempting to cut in line by saving spots for their huge group are not only being jerks, they are jerks that will get called to the mat. Usually this doesn't affect me, because I will wait until the crowds for down or for the DVD and when I do go opening weekend, I am a freak who doesn't usually mind sitting in the front row side if push comes to shove but there have been many times I have noted, as I join the back of the long line, people who tried your suggest trick getting booted to the back. In fact at a HP, I saw a cranky employee boot some very loud attempted line cutters right out of the venue.

 

Imagine someone trying to cut in line when you have been waiting a long time to buy restricted purchase concert tickets (which I have done, the waiting not the cutting) or the iPhone (which I would never do) when it first came out. Laughing very loudly here.

 

Maybe I am married to too big of a geek but the ire of hundreds of geeks is not something you want...

[LMV]

I'm loving all the arbitrary made up rules and how everyone thinks her arbitrary made up rules are the right ones but everyone else's arbitrary made up rules are wrong.

 

You may save a seat for a grandparent over 65 with a hip replacement but not a 30-something single uncle unless he is a tow truck driver who is late because he recently pulled a van of orphans from a ditch.

 

What about an ER doctor who didn't run out of the ED the moment the clock struck 6 and her twelve hour shift ended because they heard there was a ten car pile up on the interstate coming their way?  Actually this may be me I'm working a twelve hour shift on Christmas Eve because we're all scrambling to fill in for a colleague who's child got a pediatric cancer diagnosis in November.  Ideally I'll take a shower in our physician suite, go directly to the church, and be early.  If life doesn't work as planned, well it doesn't.  But fortunately no one will accuse us of being rude because DH won't save me a seat he'll just give me his.