LucyStoner Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Mine are still refusing to give up their flip flops and sandals, summer here was that nice this year. My 4 year old is so into his crocs he will wear a different size and color on each foot rather than put in socks and sneakers. I am getting to the put my foot down stage with this now that it is freaking November. :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 *tentatively inquires* Fried cupcakes? How about fried cupcakes in place of the Krispy Kremes in her infamous donut bacon cheeseburger? Ok, I typed that and now am queasy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 How about fried cupcakes in place of the Krispy Kremes in her infamous donut bacon cheeseburger? Ok, I typed that and now am queasy. Have a bit of pity. We haven't had dinner yet and I'd like to enjoy it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Have a bit of pity. We haven't had dinner yet and I'd like to enjoy it. That image is making me think eating dinner is overrated. I may skip it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Well, his need is he's going to have a naked behind and be barefoot if he doesn't keep up with the shoes and pants I give him at the beginning of the day. If he's cool with that, I guess I am, too, but it's about to get pretty chilly to be running around outside with no shoes. Why does he change clothes so often? Is he getting dirty or do the clothes bother him somehow? Scratch labels or something? My daughter used to change clothes several times a day. She quit when I made her start doing her own laundry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 My two boys misplace their shoes and wear my cheap flip flops. Once my oldest son wore ones with sparkles on them. My youngest son wears my oldest son's shoes even though they are many sizes too big. My 8 year old sometimes tries to wear my flip flops out of the house. I draw the line at that. Once I bought five pairs of cheap Old Navy flip flops for my oldest, forgetful son in the hopes he could always find a pair. Sometimes we can only find three rights or three lefts or some such. I've pretty much given up on keeping up with shoes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Asher: falling in the floor crying about how that is too hard and that he's not a detective, etc, etc. I realize it's probably not quite as funny when he's actually doing it, but the bit about not being a detective cracked me up :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 (Wow. I'm not the only one who has cancelled an outing, initiated manditory quiet time, and watched Doctor Who alone with chocolate instead -- last summer? Those are some wacky coincidence vibes over this here Internet.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Yeah I figure I'll just wear them in the car, but now that I think of it this might be a bad idea. If something terrible happened and I ended up dead in a wreck I'd be caught dead with them and I don't want to be even caught dead with them. Maybe I can scratch the name off or something. Wow. You actually have something you wouldn't want to be caught dead in. I'm jealous. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Mine are still refusing to give up their flip flops and sandals, summer here was that nice this year. Flip flops are year round footwear here. Closed shoes are for winter - or what passes for winter in these parts. We actually only make him wear real shoes from December to the end of February, but he currently has no flip flops that fit, so he is having to make do with Keens and Sanuks. I'm not sure where you live Chirstie, but Dec. to Feb. sounds about right. Even then "real" shoes aren't worn daily, only when we get a cold snap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 #1 I am so, so glad you found the jacket. I meant it when I said I totally understood how much it would suck to have to buy a new one for the photo. #2 He might get better over time, or he won't. But I am glad that now you know that he's typical 6 year old, heck, a 15 year old. #3 I limiting is a good idea. I did a little experiment last year. When we all had three pairs of mittens (or gloves), hat and scarf we soon had zero of any of them. But, when I gave everyone ONE they kept them for almost the entire winter. Funny how that works. #4 If I had a photo of my family that was that large, sooner or later it would get used for dart practice. So, good luck with that. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
................... Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I absolutely would not expect responsibility with things at 6. You either need to give him reminders to gather stuff everywhere you go, or only buy cheap stuff that you won't freak out about losing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSOchristie Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 Why does he change clothes so often? Is he getting dirty or do the clothes bother him somehow? Scratch labels or something? My daughter used to change clothes several times a day. She quit when I made her start doing her own laundry. This is a good question, he'll go to poop, strip down, leave his clothes in the bathroom, 45 minutes later he will realize he wants to ride his bike so he will get new clothes, after he rides he will decide to jump on the trampoline, so he will take off his shoes, then when jumps he will get hot and strip off his shirt and toss it over the net. He will come in and realize he's cold and get a new shirt. His friend will come over to play and he will change into a costume, leaving his clothes on the closet floor and get new shoes because the first pair is now out by the trampoline. Then he will wear short pajamas after his bath so he doesn't get too hot in bed. In the morning he will toss the short ones on the floor and change into long ones so he isn't cold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSOchristie Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 #1 I am so, so glad you found the jacket. I meant it when I said I totally understood how much it would suck to have to buy a new one for the photo. #2 He might get better over time, or he won't. But I am glad that now you know that he's typical 6 year old, heck, a 15 year old. #3 I limiting is a good idea. I did a little experiment last year. When we all had three pairs of mittens (or gloves), hat and scarf we soon had zero of any of them. But, when I gave everyone ONE they kept them for almost the entire winter. Funny how that works. #4 If I had a photo of my family that was that large, sooner or later it would get used for dart practice. So, good luck with that. :lol: We have these giant pictures because our gallery is in our house, so our clients see them as they go up to the gallery :). I think I'm going to move the coats so he has to ask me for one, thereby helping me help him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSOchristie Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 My two boys misplace their shoes and wear my cheap flip flops. Once my oldest son wore ones with sparkles on them. My youngest son wears my oldest son's shoes even though they are many sizes too big. My 8 year old sometimes tries to wear my flip flops out of the house. I draw the line at that. Once I bought five pairs of cheap Old Navy flip flops for my oldest, forgetful son in the hopes he could always find a pair. Sometimes we can only find three rights or three lefts or some such. I've pretty much given up on keeping up with shoes. I tried this two years ago (after he lost one of both a Reef and a Rainbow in one season). I thought i wouldn't care if i had to replace them every week if they were only $2. He wouldn't wear them, he cried and said they hurt his feet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nart Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I have two boys - 6 and 4. Like your boys, the oldest loses everything while the 4 year old is a hoarder. The 4 year old not only never loses anything he is great at finding things that DH and I have lost. He always knows where my car keys are, where I put down my coffee cup, where DH set down his sunglasses. The downside is that the 4 year old notices if I try and throw away or donate any old toys, rocks, sticks, art projects, old toys that he has squirreled away. Meanwhile the 6 year old is always losing things, like a Ninjago Lego Watch. Reading your post reminded me that he lost it 3 months ago and it still hasn't turned up. It kept falling off when he would play outside. I don't think the clasp is very strong. He never mentioned he lost it, but one day I asked him where it was and he didn't know. I never followed up but tomorrow I will ask him again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 My father was hunting at the age of 5 and on. He said he had no memory of ever not helping out he family farm in Tenn. My aunts all grew up learning how to run a household. My aunt alone was in charge of the babies when my grandmother was in the hospital she was 8. Don't tell me kids did not have more responsibilities back in the day because your all wrong. Indian children were taught skills at very early ages. Heck my neighbor down the street starts bow hunting skills when his kids reach 3. If you don't teach children when their young they don't magically learn it. You guys can be as smart mouth as you want and baby your kids all you want you can't deny kids had more responsibility back in the day. When my great grandfather was just 7 he helped dig the grave for his mother who died one winter. Back in the 80's I was expected to walk the three miles home and take care of myself until my working mother and father came home. I was 7 I wore a key on a string around my neck. None of us 4 had babysitters past the age of 6-7. None of us burned our house down or acted the fool either. Digging graves certainly beats walking 3 miles to school in the snow. However the 3-year-olds with the bow-hunting skills will NOT be coming over for any playdates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nart Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Digging graves certainly beats walking 3 miles to school in the snow. However the 3-year-olds with the bow-hunting skills will NOT be coming over for any playdates. I thought you couldn't dig graves in winter back before there were backhoes because the ground was frozen solid. So I might choose walking the three miles in the snow unless it was uphill both ways past a field where a three year old was learning to bow hunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 This is a good question, he'll go to poop, strip down, leave his clothes in the bathroom, 45 minutes later he will realize he wants to ride his bike so he will get new clothes, after he rides he will decide to jump on the trampoline, so he will take off his shoes, then when jumps he will get hot and strip off his shirt and toss it over the net. He will come in and realize he's cold and get a new shirt. His friend will come over to play and he will change into a costume, leaving his clothes on the closet floor and get new shoes because the first pair is now out by the trampoline. Then he will wear short pajamas after his bath so he doesn't get too hot in bed. In the morning he will toss the short ones on the floor and change into long ones so he isn't cold. I'm not clear on where you are in this picture. Do you remind him to wear the same clothes he left on the bathroom floor when he wants to ride his bike? To pick up his shirt that he tossed over the net? To go and get that shirt before he puts a new shirt on? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I just have to throw this into the convo. When my oldest was 19 - NINETEEN, I gave her, as a Christmas gift, a HALF DOZEN keys to her car so she could have them in all sorts of places for when she couldn't find her keys, or locked them in her car. This dd is 24 and a mom and she is ALWAYS looking for her keys or phone! Youngest dd, since she was 2 or 3, has been the one to always remind everyone to do everything. She was always taking care of her, and everyone else's, business because she never forgot a THING. She's still that way. Middle dd and dss seem to be a good mix of both. It's crazy how personalities are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MollyAnn Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 His new punishment is that he's going to have to go try on coats this afternoon, another activity that he hates. I guess my expectations are too high because my four year old never loses anything, if he comes with a coat, hat, gloves, he leaves with coat, hat, and gloves. When he leaves Awana, he always checks his backpack for his book and vest, without my prompting, and asks his teacher if it's not in there. Apparently that is not the norm, but it's my only basis for comparison. Your 4yo is a very rare child and you have started comparing your children and finding one lacking based on the traits of another. He is 6, you are the parent and you know how forgetful he is. Why are you not asking him if he has everything before you leave somewhere? You are being completely unreasonable making him pay for the lost things, including the watch. You knew before he wore it out that he was going to lose it. You forgot to check his wrist to see if it was there before you left. How is that any different from him forgetting to grab it after taking it off? I opened this thread up expecting to read about a teenager and I was ready to commiserate since my 13yo DD can't remember where she left her $200 iPod or her phone which she has set to silent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MomatHWTK Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Again, comparison to the other kids isn't going to make you or your oldest happy. 3 children is a very small statistical sample. I would make bets based on that tiny amount of data. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Okay. One more post on this thread then I am done. Two years ago, my son "lost" his coat. We searched high and low for it for weeks, back-tracked our stops, etc. I just knew DS left it behind at science class, but it never showed up in their lost and found. I later "found" it - at the local second hand store. (With his name nicely written on back side of tag) Seems it had gotten tossed into car trunk next to bags of stuff I was donating. When the donation center worker asked, "everything back here?" as he was unloading the bags, i said yes without thinking about the coat being back there. So I lost the coat, not DS. I threw all my muddy race clothes out a few days ago. I had put them in the back of my van, and we have to haul our trash. I went to the dump to drop off trash and threw the bag away. Two shirts, sports bra, pants, wool socks, and my shoes. Thankfully, I had already replaced my shoes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I'm totally the absent minded professor (and my poor teen has inherited it from me). I'm known amongst my childhood/highschool friends for showing up without shoes. Someone even posted a picture from the highschool yearbook, of our drama club, and I realized I'm only wearing one shoe in it, and trying to hide my other foot behind me. sigh.. As an adult I have lost purses, jewelry, and more sunglasses than I want to admit. The most ridiculous bit of silliness though is that several times I have paid for my gas and then driven off without getting gas. Not once, not twice, but several times. I felt really bad, until a friend and mom of 5 admitted she once drove off with the gas pump still in the gas tank..so that was worse I figured :) Until I read this post, I forgot that I once had to wear my moms shoes to school in first grade because I couldn't find mine. In fourth grade, I think I may not have gone to school one day because I didn't have clothes to wear. I think both of these incidences were in some part due to my parents having marital difficulties and there was a lot of stress in the house. Things have improved since, but I once caught myself walking down the street as an adult with two different pairs of sneakers on. :blushing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I'm not sure what you mean, all of their clothes and shoes are on a shelving system in the laundry room, there are no other clothing locations, not in their rooms, even. So it should be really apparent where he left it, it will be the only item of clothing in that room. He is unwilling to go through the house looking for the discarded item. The other two never touch their clothes, they keep the clothes I give them in the morning or Piper sometimes chooses naked. Asher is the only one who goes to the clothing room to get more clothes, which I can see how he looks at it like an endless supply. That's why I told him today that it's now off limits, he has to go find the clothes he started with, or he can trade me the clothes he started with if he feels he needs a wardrobe change. This is a great idea. Unfortunately, it wouldn't work in my house. We have dc with clothing difficulties due to SPD and that throws a wrench into every good system. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I have two boys - 6 and 4. Like your boys, the oldest loses everything while the 4 year old is a hoarder. The 4 year old not only never loses anything he is great at finding things that DH and I have lost. He always knows where my car keys are, where I put down my coffee cup, where DH set down his sunglasses. The downside is that the 4 year old notices if I try and throw away or donate any old toys, rocks, sticks, art projects, old toys that he has squirreled away. Meanwhile the 6 year old is always losing things, like a Ninjago Lego Watch. Reading your post reminded me that he lost it 3 months ago and it still hasn't turned up. It kept falling off when he would play outside. I don't think the clasp is very strong. He never mentioned he lost it, but one day I asked him where it was and he didn't know. I never followed up but tomorrow I will ask him again. This reminds me that the kid who loses her own things is the one who knows where everyone else's stuff is when they lose it. The highly organized can't find anything if it's out of it's place. The world needs both types of people! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 This is a good question, he'll go to poop, strip down, leave his clothes in the bathroom, 45 minutes later he will realize he wants to ride his bike so he will get new clothes, after he rides he will decide to jump on the trampoline, so he will take off his shoes, then when jumps he will get hot and strip off his shirt and toss it over the net. He will come in and realize he's cold and get a new shirt. His friend will come over to play and he will change into a costume, leaving his clothes on the closet floor and get new shoes because the first pair is now out by the trampoline. Then he will wear short pajamas after his bath so he doesn't get too hot in bed. In the morning he will toss the short ones on the floor and change into long ones so he isn't cold. This is very, very familiar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Until I read this post, I forgot that I once had to wear my moms shoes to school in first grade because I couldn't find mine. In fourth grade, I think I may not have gone to school one day because I didn't have clothes to wear. I think both of these incidences were in some part due to my parents having marital difficulties and there was a lot of stress in the house. Things have improved since, but I once caught myself walking down the street as an adult with two different pairs of sneakers on. :blushing: One day a coworker - very sharp gal but a little absent-minded - came in to work in a mixed pair of shoes. With different heel heights! She didn't notice it; someone pointed it out to her and she said "wow, no wonder it seems so hard to walk today!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Actually, you seem to have said exactly that: So which of your two stories is true? It appears to me that you have completely contradicted yourself. Obviously they are both true. I stayed home alone because my parents worked at what point did I say that was a bad childhood? I don't recall ever saying kids that had more responsibility had bad childhoods. I never stated that at all. If you got that then your reading between some lines I never wrote because I don't consider it bad or wrong. My father grew up in Tenn that house didn't even have electricity until after I was born in the 70's. At that point my grandfather was raising his second generation of kids and his new wife from the city demanded it. And no I am not talking about children from India and that was just a stupid remark. Indian children you know the ones who were here before white men. They lived in tribes and young children were taught skills at very young ages. Everything people say on this board gets twisted and quoted to make it look as if they are saying something totally different. My mom is almost 70 and she even says kids were way more responsible back in the day. Working the family farm is also not child labor. Never mind as I said you guys twist everything and quote it until it is nothing that people said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSOchristie Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 I'm not clear on where you are in this picture. Do you remind him to wear the same clothes he left on the bathroom floor when he wants to ride his bike? To pick up his shirt that he tossed over the net? To go and get that shirt before he puts a new shirt on? I really don't care when he's naked, which is actually the preferred state for him. So he comes out of the bathroom naked and I tell him he needs underwear at a minimum. He goes and puts on the underwear. I don't care if he wears clothes or not. He doesn't have to ask my permission to jump on the trampoline or ride his bike, so he grabs a new outfit on the way out (his clothes are all right next to the garage door). I only notice when I look out the window and see him jumping in different pants than he had on in the morning, or maybe I don't notice because I never noticed what he was wearing to begin with. We have a pretty big house, 2400 square feet, with three bathrooms (two of which are upstairs), so if he poops upstairs, I won't see his clothes lying on the floor until that night when I give the other two a bath. I also don't routinely go into their rooms during the day, we have a playroom, schoolroom, bathroom, living room, huge eat in kitchen, and laundry room on the main floor, so I rarely go upstairs during the day. So I don't notice the clothes lying around up there until the end of the day. I don't immediately tell him to go get the shirt on the ground outside, that was one of the things that I mentioned previously we were going to work on, putting something away the moment I notice it's out of place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiramisu Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I really don't care when he's naked, which is actually the preferred state for him. So he comes out of the bathroom naked and I tell him he needs underwear at a minimum. He goes and puts on the underwear. I don't care if he wears clothes or not. He doesn't have to ask my permission to jump on the trampoline or ride his bike, so he grabs a new outfit on the way out (his clothes are all right next to the garage door). I only notice when I look out the window and see him jumping in different pants than he had on in the morning, or maybe I don't notice because I never noticed what he was wearing to begin with. We have a pretty big house, 2400 square feet, with three bathrooms (two of which are upstairs), so if he poops upstairs, I won't see his clothes lying on the floor until that night when I give the other two a bath. I also don't routinely go into their rooms during the day, we have a playroom, schoolroom, bathroom, living room, huge eat in kitchen, and laundry room on the main floor, so I rarely go upstairs during the day. So I don't notice the clothes lying around up there until the end of the day. I don't immediately tell him to go get the shirt on the ground outside, that was one of the things that I mentioned previously we were going to work on, putting something away the moment I notice it's out of place. My dearest GSOchristie, reading this post, I am very willing to bet your little dude has a sensory thing going on. :) You may want to put some extra clothes away so he has less opportunity to get into them. Maybe I'm pessimistic, but you could work on seriously training this ds by constant supervision but I don't know if it's worth what it would cost you and your other dc who need you. Sensory is BIG. Your best bet is keeping THINGS (like clothes and valuable stuff) to the minimum necessary and providing lots of opportunity for healthy stimulation. Prioritize what's important and stay on top of that. Otherwise, you'll drive yourself crazy. P.S. You're doing an awesome job with your clothing system and the freedom to ride and jump. I'm very impressed. My kids really enjoyed things like play do and moon sand (kept in an under the bed bin in the kitchen during the very cold months). I think we would have done well when they were younger to have a sit-and-spin thingy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Didn't read it all, but I agree with others. He is young and needs to be reminded. My ds is 9 and I have a pretty standard drill of "did you remembers?" As a side note, my dh is 42 and he left his lunch sitting on the counter this morning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 yes, it's annoying. But he's six years old. When I read your post, I thought you had a son like 11-12. Then I scrolled down and saw his age. This is typical for a 6 yo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Glad to hear the jacket was found. I have two thoughts on the general topic: first, don't punish children for being children; the brain, perspective, and experience of a six year old is very, very different from that of an adult. Second, because this issue may go well beyond age, don't expect people to change inherent personality characteristics. Some people just don't notice/think about belongings much, some people have brains that jump from thought to thought and things are misplaced or forgotten despite the best of intentions. If you have a child like this, no amount of punishment will change them. You can, however, help them learn to compensate; teach them to develop questions to ask themselves at checkpoints throughout the day, for example, every time they go out a door. Do I have everything I need? Am I leaving with everything I brought? Teach the idea of never putting something down where it does not belong, don't expect this to take hold right away, it may take years of gentle reminders. Teaching and scaffolding, not punishment, are needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 You can, however, help them learn to compensate; teach them to develop questions to ask themselves at checkpoints throughout the day, for example, every time they go out a door. Do I have everything I need? Am I leaving with everything I brought? Teach the idea of never putting something down where it does not belong, don't expect this to take hold right away, it may take years of gentle reminders. Teaching and scaffolding, not punishment, are needed. this is such a great suggestion. fwiw, i'd focus more on teaching than on consequences. ie. he clearly needs to learn skills to help him not leave stuff behind. this is different than helping him remember things. both dh and i are the typical absent-minded professors. we have been since birth, or so our mothers tell us. however, one of us rarely leaves things behind, and the other requently does. the difference we've figured out is that one of us had a mom who taught us to pause when leaving a room/car/house/location and think about when we arrived there, picture what we had with us, and then do an inventory check. the same mom taught the "pause and look around the room. start at one side and sweep the room with your eyes. ask yourself: is there anything i should have in my hands?" i would teach this by pausing with him before he goes into a location and doing a check list. it can be funny. shoes? check. hair? check. coat? check. and then doing the same thing when leaving. it may take years, but it may ony take a few ;). we will simply not talk about the number of times i have lost keys/purses/earrings even WITH this help. other things i do that work include always putting things in the very same place. eg. when i go visiting, i leave my shoes and purse in the front hall. i am unlikely to leave without my shoes, and if i do, i will notice right away. i do that at home, too. (i also always put my cell phone in my purse so that i can use the house phone to call it if for some reason i broke my own rule). we use automatic bill payments, i always park by a light in a parking lot so that when i forget where i left the car, i only have to check all the light poles. i also try to park in the same location outside stores i frequent, which increases the odds. interestingly, every single one of our kids is very, very good at all of this..... i think in self defense ;) ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I really don't care when he's naked, which is actually the preferred state for him. So he comes out of the bathroom naked and I tell him he needs underwear at a minimum. He goes and puts on the underwear. I don't care if he wears clothes or not. He doesn't have to ask my permission to jump on the trampoline or ride his bike, so he grabs a new outfit on the way out (his clothes are all right next to the garage door). I only notice when I look out the window and see him jumping in different pants than he had on in the morning, or maybe I don't notice because I never noticed what he was wearing to begin with. We have a pretty big house, 2400 square feet, with three bathrooms (two of which are upstairs), so if he poops upstairs, I won't see his clothes lying on the floor until that night when I give the other two a bath. I also don't routinely go into their rooms during the day, we have a playroom, schoolroom, bathroom, living room, huge eat in kitchen, and laundry room on the main floor, so I rarely go upstairs during the day. So I don't notice the clothes lying around up there until the end of the day. I don't immediately tell him to go get the shirt on the ground outside, that was one of the things that I mentioned previously we were going to work on, putting something away the moment I notice it's out of place. I'm like that as well. I really don't mind what they wear and how many times they change. DD5 changes a lot. :001_smile: Though I absolutely don't care if my 5 yo loses her things, unless those things are important to *her* and *she* cares. When they are important to her, I make sure the item is not lost--supervising, reminding, helping her remember, helping her to make good choices about whether to take the item with her or leave it at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*lifeoftheparty* Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 This summer, my 9 year old left his $425 watch at the pool and it has not been recovered :-/ I was irritated with him, yes, because we are constantly talking about being more careful and not wearing it places like that because it could get messed up- but he did it anyways. His punishment was a stern look/talking too and I refuse to buy him a replacement watch- even if it's only $5. My "anger" was directed at DH, who gifted him the watch in the first place. (It was DH's, but he got a new one) I TOLD him a child had no business owning a watch that expensive- but he doesn't listen. In the end though, it's just a thing. We don't get too worked up about "things". I don't think it's a problem for a responsible child to have expensive things, but if he's not careful with his possessions, the parents need to either be extra-diligent to help him keep track of them, or not buy them in the first place. Your dh meant well. He was doing a kind thing by giving your ds the watch. As long as he didn't overreact and get angry with your ds when it was lost, I wouldn't be too annoyed with him about it. I'm glad you didn't make a big deal about it with your ds, although I'm not sure why you wouldn't wait a little while and then get him a more appropriate watch. He lost the expensive watch; it was an honest mistake. If he'd intentionally whacked it with a hammer, I wouldn't replace it, but in this case, I would. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AimeeM Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I think it's too harsh for a 6 year old, yes. Honestly, I don't know many 6 years who are responsible enough to be given complete responsibility for keeping up with nice things. Also, he didn't ask for an exact replacement - you could get him a cheaper coat. DD12 didn't start to get "nice things" (that we didn't want misplaced) until 10 or so, honestly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeacherZee Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 I spent a good 10 minutes today looking for my keys at work. Then I went home without my pass card and my phone, making getting back into the building to get my phone difficult. Luckily there were still people there so after a few minutes someone let me in. :blushing: :blush: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 This is a good question, he'll go to poop, strip down, leave his clothes in the bathroom, 45 minutes later he will realize he wants to ride his bike so he will get new clothes, after he rides he will decide to jump on the trampoline, so he will take off his shoes, then when jumps he will get hot and strip off his shirt and toss it over the net. He will come in and realize he's cold and get a new shirt. His friend will come over to play and he will change into a costume, leaving his clothes on the closet floor and get new shoes because the first pair is now out by the trampoline. Then he will wear short pajamas after his bath so he doesn't get too hot in bed. In the morning he will toss the short ones on the floor and change into long ones so he isn't cold. Oh, I see the problem! You somehow got one of my kids in your house. Sorry about that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 BTW: I found out yesterday that my 13 year old lost someone ELSE'S flashlight at a campout. I also found out he lost his sleeping bag. Not only did he lose his sleeping bag but he didn't even know he had lost it! *I* found it in the lost and found at scouts last night. Believe me, you haven't reached the height yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 My dh paid my son $5 to find his lost Bluetooth today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted November 12, 2013 Share Posted November 12, 2013 Hobbes is thirteen. He has lost (and mostly found) countless things over the years. Just this year we have started charging him for things he loses. Up to now, it's been a process of reminders and teaching strategies, and he has improved; at thirteen he has to take financial responsibility. Good luck - this issue will probably be with you for some years. L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSOchristie Posted November 12, 2013 Author Share Posted November 12, 2013 This is awesome, this morning at CC the presentation was show and tell, he asked if he could take Jackson's new red Lego ninja. I kept it until the minute he went in the classroom, gave it to him with instructions that he was to keep it in his pocket until it was his turn then immediately return it to his pocket until I came to get him. I figured if it didn't leave the classroom, I could find it, even if he "lost" it. Sure enough, I went to get him, the first thing he said was, "I lost the ninja." His teacher had searched the room, searched his person, and his bags, nothing, it was nowhere to be found. We went around and found every kid in his class to see if it had been put in someone else's pocket. Nothing. We pack up to get into the car and the thought occurred to me, " I didn't check his water bottle." Now I know this was straight from God, because seriously. Sure enough, he had dropped it in the the water bottle and forgotten that is where he put it. :svengo: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 This is awesome, this morning at CC the presentation was show and tell, he asked if he could take Jackson's new red Lego ninja. I kept it until the minute he went in the classroom, gave it to him with instructions that he was to keep it in his pocket until it was his turn then immediately return it to his pocket until I came to get him. I figured if it didn't leave the classroom, I could find it, even if he "lost" it. Sure enough, I went to get him, the first thing he said was, "I lost the ninja." His teacher had searched the room, searched his person, and his bags, nothing, it was nowhere to be found. We went around and found every kid in his class to see if it had been put in someone else's pocket. Nothing. We pack up to get into the car and the thought occurred to me, " I didn't check his water bottle." Now I know this was straight from God, because seriously. Sure enough, he had dropped it in the the water bottle and forgotten that is where he put it. :svengo: Do you also read palms? :D I had no idea you were psychic. From now on, whenever I lose something, I'll bypass Saint Anthony and just send you a PM instead. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Ninjas can swim!! :ph34r: Have you considered putting some hooks at his level in the bathroom? That way when he disrobes he can be taught to hang them up, then when he needs clothes back on, he can get the ones on the hooks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbpaulie Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 He's six! Remind the poor child to gather up his belongings before you leave anywhere. I absolutely would not take away a birthday field trip. (Honestly I thought I was going to be reading about an absent minded tween or teen when I opened this thread.) :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*lifeoftheparty* Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 I told him that he wasn't going to be able to go to Marbles (Raleigh's children's museum) for his birthday on Friday because it costs $25 to go, the exact amount the jacket is going to cost. Is this too harsh? Yes. Absolutely. It's his BIRTHDAY! What you are teaching him is that things are more important than people. "Sorry, son, that you don't get a birthday, but it's more important that we spend the money on a jacket." No way. Why does he have to replace the watch? It was a gift. I see that your son is six. Sorry, but you do have to have some responsibility for his things. He's a little guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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