Anxiety Question

[JennifersLost]

Someone in the counseling trade commented to me last week, "You wouldn't believe how many people struggle with anxiety. Just go to any play or concert and look at all the people sitting on the aisle in the back." Her comment stuck with me. How many people do suffer anxiety? How severe is it? Obviously this is a really informal poll, but I'm curious because anxiety runs in my family with sometimes uncomfortable results.

 

Try to pick the answer that's closest and feel free to comment on particulars. Is anxiety really that prevalent?

 

 

Edited to add "other" choice to section one!!!!

 

Also edited to add: the comment about plays and concerts was in context with a conversation we were having about me feeling anxious at plays and concerts....maybe she was just trying to make me feel better, LOL?

[maize]

I think many people suffer some degree of anxiety, but I wouldn't think going to a concert etc. would be the most common way for it to manifest, nor do I think sitting in an aisle seat near the back necessarily means someone is anxious.

[Jean in Newcastle]

BTW - because you have to vote in all 3 areas, if  you vote that you have no anxiety in these situations  you have to vote other.  Or at least that is how I interpreted it.  (And I do have anxiety about certain things but none of the ones you listed.)

[Melissa in Australia]

well I haven't ever felt any anxiety at a movie or concert... But I have only ever gone to about 15 movies in my life and the only concerts I have ever attended were high school performances. As there was no other for the first section I didn't vote ( and I so love polls too).

 

 I do however have anxiety at other times over different things

[Santi]

Dd and I have both suffered from anxiety/depression, but not really at concerts/plays with the exception of going there on a date or something. When I get anxious or panic it's just a bad feeling? It's hard to describe I suppose. I usually feel unsafe like something very bad is going to happen even if I'm only anxious because of something normal like talking to someone new.

 

I'm sure there are studies somewhere showing an idea of how many people suffer from it. I know a lot of people who have experienced it but I'm guessing that's at least partly because I looked for people who felt the same way.

[DawnM]

Hard to vote.  I do get anxious when I am the center of attention, but that has to do with either public speaking to adults (I am fine with kids and teens), or doing a performance and worrying about messing up.

 

If i am the center of attention in a small group of friends or even a large group I know well, I am fine.

 

Dawn

[Pawz4me]

I suffer from anxiety.  I have a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder.  But going to a concert or play wouldn't bother me at all.  I think your counselor acquaintance has a very flawed understanding of anxiety, or something was lost in communication.  If I went to a play or concert I'd probably sit near the middle, although I'd prefer an aisle seat, or no one between me and the aisle but DH and the boys or whoever else I was with, in case I needed to make a potty run or had a coughing spell or something.

 

I don't think people who sit in the back on the aisle necessarily do so because of anxiety.  There are many other reasons I can think of why someone would prefer to sit there.

[Guest submarines]

Someone in the counseling trade commented to me last week, "You wouldn't believe how many people struggle with anxiety. Just go to any play or concert and look at all the people sitting on the aisle in the back." Her comment stuck with me. How many people do suffer anxiety? How severe is it? Obviously this is a really informal poll, but I'm curious because anxiety runs in my family with sometimes uncomfortable results.

 

Try to pick the answer that's closest and feel free to comment on particulars. Is anxiety really that prevalent?

 

The comment is rather vapid, to say the least. How did that person conclude that sitting in the back correlates with anxiety? The back seats are cheaper, that's a much more plausible correlation. The back seats are what you get when you don't buy your tickets in advance. That's another plausible correlation.

 

I really dislike when "professionals" create generalizations like this and diagnose every behavior. My family doctor "concluded" DD had anxiety "because she was shy about talking about her rash." Seriously? The rash was on her buttocks! Who wouldn't be "shy"? Though in my opinion she wasn't even shy, she was just unenthusiastic.

 

Then another professional (a naturopath) "concluded" that DD suffered from "unhealthy exhibitionism" after DD went over her symptoms quickly and thoroughly, as I had warned her not to waste the doctor's time (and our money) and be relatively quick. The doctor concluded she was "too eager to share". 

 

You can't win, right?

 

P.S. The above is not to comment on how many people struggle with anxiety today, but rather on the ridiculous statement.

[Ellie]

I have no anxiety in any of the situations you list.

 

The only thing I cannot bear is heights, but that isn't on your list. :-)

[Cindy in FL.]

I suffer from pretty severe anxiety. (I checked all the boxes for symptoms and situations that you listed) I get anxious any time I have to leave the house and find crowded venues particularly troublesome. I do not want to be in any situation that I could not immediately extricate myself from if necessary. I always sit toward the back and in an aisle seat. If my dh will not let me have the aisle seat, I will sit in a different aisle than him! I will drive with my kids in the car, but will not let my dh ride with me or drive me anywhere, because if I had to leave somewhere unexpectedly dh would not be as compliant/manageable as the kids. I actually had my worst panic attack ever with dh in my car!

 

I have a friend come to my house to cut my hair so I don't have a problem at the salon. She knows my situation and I feel very safe with her.

 

Airplanes? Absolutely no way. I am certain that if I ever actually got on one I would freak out at some point and have to be dealt with by the Air Marshall.

 

I hate anxiety/panic and the way it can steal your life from you. I have struggled for many years with it, but I have to say that the panic attacks and anxiety have gotten better over the past year or so.

[Onceuponatime]

I do get anxiety on planes, and when someone else is driving me in the mountains. I also get anxiety over the unexpected or unknown, especially in regards to my children. Sometimes anxiety rears its head when I am overwhelmed by life and all its responsibilities and expectations, especially around holidays. But I never get anxiety at the movies, or in restaurants, etc.

 

ETA: how could I have forgotten the dentist. Yuck.

 

Mine usually presents as lightheadedness, diziness, and heart pounding. However, last year at Thanksgiving I got chest pains and was seriously wondering if it was heart related, it wasn't.

[Carrie12345]

I've never felt anxiety triggered by any of the circumstances listed. Sometimes doctor appointments will do it (more specifically, dentist appts,) frequently negative interactions with specific people will trigger it, sometimes general stress will trigger it, but it's usually just random.

 

For me, it only started a couple of years ago, during a very stressful and emotional period. I can sometimes talk and breathe my way out of spiralling out, but then there are times I just completely break and curl up in bed, trying to remind myself that I'm not actually dying.

 

It's hell. Several of my good friends suffer from anxiety disorders and there are variations in each person. My sister has been hospitalized several times b/c hers is so fast and severe.

[Chris in VA]

I have anxiety but not in those situations. Mine tends to present gastrointentinally, a few hours after whatever anxiety I was feeling (maybe queasy during, but afterwards I deal with the "results" iykwim). I had about 7 weeks of diarrhea in Israel, due to anxiety. (Sorry, TMI)

 

I also perseverate on thoughts and that is really hard when they are anxious thoughts. I "disasterize" which means think of the worst thing that could happen or think "disaster" when really it's only uncomfortable or less serious. Those thought habits contribute to my anxiety.

 

Some anxiety is desirable and a natural reaction. But some is hard to manage; I guess that's when you know you have to figure out a way to deal. 

[marbel]

Are you specifically asking about anxiety in the listed situations or anxiety overall?   I have loads of anxiety but not in any of the listed situations.

 

I think the remark about people sitting in the back of the theater was goofy and ill-considered for a person in that field.  There probably are a lot of people suffering anxiety but the example was pretty poor, I think. 

[Pawz4me]

I also perseverate on thoughts and that is really hard when they are anxious thoughts. I "disasterize" which means think of the worst thing that could happen or think "disaster" when really it's only uncomfortable or less serious. Those thought habits contribute to my anxiety.

 

That is most typically how my anxiety manifests itself.  I call it catastrophic thinking.

[Ottakee]

Well, I often chose the back seats on the aisle if I can. That way if a member of my family needs to go to the bathroom we are not likely to disturb others. Also, if for some reason we need to leave early, etc. we can sneak out that way. has nothing to do with anxiety, lots to do with small bladders :-)

[Word Nerd]

I don't feel anxious about any of those situations but get nervous (mildly) when I have to call anyone I don't know well.

[Plink]

Someone in the counseling trade commented to me last week, "You wouldn't believe how many people struggle with anxiety. Just go to any play or concert and look at all the people sitting on the aisle in the back."

I think her trade is causing a bias in her observations. She may have many clients who have social anxiety, but I doubt that her observations about theaters are scientific in any way.

 

In comparison, podiatrists see a lot of people with ingrown toenails. Does that mean that most of the people who limp are doing so because of their nails? I doubt it.

[marbel]

<snip>

I also perseverate on thoughts and that is really hard when they are anxious thoughts. I "disasterize" which means think of the worst thing that could happen or think "disaster" when really it's only uncomfortable or less serious. Those thought habits contribute to my anxiety.

 

<snip>

 

 

 

 

That is most typically how my anxiety manifests itself.  I call it catastrophic thinking.

 

 

Yep, that's me.  

[Night Elf]

I actually have a generalized anxiety disorder. I can see how it can become debilitating for some people. I am anxious a great deal of the time just on a daily basis. I try to avoid things I know will make me anxious like going places I've never been to before. I even feel nervous every day when I have to take my dd to school and then pick her up. Last night I had to drive her to the football game. I had to keep my feelings to myself but I was so nervous. There was a policeman directing traffic so I couldn't drop her off at the spot I wanted to, and my nervous feelings increased big time. I am on regular medication but do have a pill for an 'as needed' basis. I don't think I could get through my days without them.

[Harriet Vane]

Your friend's comment is off, imho.

 

I sit in the back, aisle seats for a couple reasons. First and foremost, I want access to the bathroom as I have the world's smallest and most inefficient bladder. I have bone spurs on my spine, so I also sit in the back because I can see the stage or movie screen without tilting my head in an uncomfortable angle. I am also more likely to purchase cheaper tickets, which are always in the back or way on the side.

[Mergath]

I have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and general anxiety issues.  I get mildly anxious at the movies, but that's only because I'm one of those people who can't enjoy the movie if the people around me are acting like jacka**es.  And I ALWAYS seem to get stuck behind that one group of teenagers that spend the entire movie blinding everyone with their lit up cells, and talking loudly.

[Laurie4b]

What does sitting in the back have to do with anxiety?

[Santi]

What does sitting in the back have to do with anxiety?

I think because it would be easier to leave quickly/without being noticed at the back aisle? I definitely don't think that's the case for everyone or even the majority of people sitting in that space though.

[Cammie]

I had situational anxiety.  It was debilitating.  It revolved around my first job out of law school and developed, I believe, as a result of working in the office of a very abusive person.  I have had random other situations of anxiety (on a plane, in a crowd, etc.) but nothing like the totally paralyzing anxiety I had for a period of time. 

[Farrar]

While I don't doubt that some people get anxious going to a concert or movie, it doesn't strike me as a common anxiety provoking situation.  I never feel anxious going to a movie.

 

Air travel, heights, talking on the phone...  those are no fun.  Also, having to speak Chinese.  That one is very situational.  Doesn't come up much anymore though.  When I was younger, eating at a new restaurant because I was a picky eater used to really do me in.

[Farrar]

ETA: how could I have forgotten the dentist. Yuck.

 

 

Oh yeah!  How could I either!  The dentist is the one place I've had panic attacks.  I get mildly anxious about the other things I mentioned, but nothing too bad, but the dentist...  oy.  Last time I was there, they told me to have my doctor proscribe me valium for the next time I went.  Eek.

[regentrude]

I am not anxious at all when I go to a concert or play (and I think that people with anxiety would simply avoid this very easily avoidable situation).

I have often been sitting at the aisle or in the back - simply because it would be easier to leave with an upset child, or when I am expecting an urgent call via vibrating phone, or when I have to leave early for some reason.

People sit in the back or at the aisle if they are not comfortable sitting in the midst of strangers, if they feel they might want to leave, of they want more leg room, if they arrive late and do not want to disturb others - or simply when the event is FULL and somebody HAS to sit there.

 

I do nto think this is a good criterion to judge anxiety levels. People with strong anxiety about events like this will simply avoid attending.

 

ETA: I am anxious about air travel. Not because I have fear of the actual flying, but because the procedure is so drawn out and complicated that I am afraid of missing connections on my three-leg-flights, as is frequently happening, and then it's a pain to deal with it.

[Orthodox6]

Anxiety does not invariably "present" via physical symptoms.  Hence I was obligated to select "other" for that poll question.  As an Asperger's person, I sometimes suffer tremendous social awkwardness, which is a powerful intellectual/emotional anxiety with zero physical symptoms. 

 

FWIW, people sometime will sit at the back of an auditorium, or at the periphery, because they need swift exit for the bathroom.  I don't classify that as anxiety, although a jocular case could be made for that.

 

 

[kbutton]

People with sensory sensitivities can get overstimulated at venues like concerts, and that can produce anxiety. I can imagine that someone might choose where to sit based on where they feel the least overwhelmed. If an activity is going to be highly stimulating, my son likes to sit near a wall or other physical barrier. On the other hand, some people who are sensory seeking rather than avoiding might choose to sit in the loudest, most overwhelming seat where noise, lighting, etc. is concerned. I've read or been told that there is a correlation between sensory issues and anxiety and that some people who have sensory issues as children "grow into" anxiety, particularly if they don't realize there is a connection and learn ways to handle it. Anecdotally, I know some people for whom this is the case.

 

I discovered that I am very sensitive to gluten, and if I get any gluten at all, I experience crippling anxiety. Now that I know why, I can cope a bit better if I get something that has been contaminated, and I definitely follow a gluten free diet.

[dbmamaz]

My anxiety is more about being in crowds of people or just about being judged - often by myself.  My experience is more in my head - dizziness, brain fog, feeling of detachment.  I joke all the time on fb about how much i hate being around people in general, and find it exhausting, although I do enjoy chatting and try to get out to things I enjoy.  

[Dory]

In crowds like movies or concerts where everyone is basically seated and there isn't a bunch of moving around, I have mild discomfort, but it's not too bad. If there is mingling afterwards, I have to mentally prep myself a little before hand and I tend to feel a little nauseous. If it is a large family get together or a community event where there is a lot of mingling and visiting, I avoid as much as possible and if I can't avoid, I usually throw up before hand, feel panicky heading into it, and afterwards as soon as I can get alone (kids in bed) I find a quiet spot to curl up and usually completely blank out for awhile. I used to cut after scenarios like this, although I haven't done that for some time. The mall is stressful because it's crowds of people who are moving. My limit is about 4 people, after that I start getting uncomfy. If these type of scenarios are only every once in awhile, I've learned to control and cope. During the holidays though when it's a constant thing I have to take meds.

[JennifersLost]

Interesting answers!

 

As I edited to say above, the comment about the concert/plays was because she knew that sitting on the aisle toward the back is something I do in those situations because I find them really stressful. I have to admit when she said that I hoped she was right and there were tons of other stressed out people sitting on the aisles for the same reason, but I guess not! :)

 

While I find that people on forums talk about anxiety, I don't find that people in real life do, so I feel very strange about my own anxiety issues, which are most like Cindy in FL above. I've dealt with anxiety all of my life, but only learned in the last few years that's what it was. I spent years trying elimination diets, blaming perfume and other things for the reactions I got in crowded places, etc., and then finally realized that wasn't it. It was the crowds themselves. Probably the hardest part about it for me was that I don't feel afraid of any of the situations that I react to. In other words, the idea of a crowd does not scare me, nor does being outside, nor do airplanes or dentists....but when I'm in those situations my body's reaction is overwhelming.

 

I think Cindy summed it up well. I don't like to be in any situation I can't get myself out of--immediately--if I start to feel bad. While several people commented that people who disliked crowds could easily avoid concerts, etc., that has never been my situation, because my children are in concerts (or other family members or friends), or friends invite me, or my parents insist that I go, or....you get the picture. Plus, I love concerts, plays and movies, so it's sad not to go.

 

In other words, to me, the consequence of saying no is just as hard to bear as the consequence of going. I have to assume that's the same for many other people.

[Parrothead]

No, I don't feel anxious about going out in public to do normal things.

 

No, I don't like public speaking. Or being a passenger when another certain person drives. Someone in this household often forgets to look for stop signs. And this someone never learned to drive well in uber heavy traffic. I'd have a heart attack and die from the anxiety if I was this person's passenger in certain cities. Other people driving, I'm okay with.

 

I'm not very social. I don't like to talk to people in real life. I certainly don't like being the center of attention- IRL or in cyberspace.

[elegantlion]

Movies, concerts, and plays don't make me anxious. I have some anxiety when I'm going to be present in a situation where I feel the need to be "on" or am expected to act in a certain manner. Movies and plays put me in the observer mode, which I am very comfortable with. I actually don't mind public speaking or being in front of a crowd, that usually means I've prepared in some way and can act the role needed. Small chit chat and networking through a room throw me off unless I've "practiced" before hand. 

 

I have phobias that make me anxious, heights, spiders, planes, bridges. This year I had a panic issue that left me literally shaking for weeks. I thought it was the cold, but it was mostly anxiety. That one was new and weird. 

[MaryE]

You know, I'm really glad this topic came up, because I'm worried about my teenage daughter.  She's 15, and is having a doozy of a time with anxiety.  I understand that part of this is because we recently moved cross country and started a new school, but it was manifesting before that. 

 

If she knows people and has things in common with them, she's good.  Fortunately, she's found a group at school like that.  But new situations or somewhere she knows no one, sometimes she'll just refuse to go.  If we have a surprise visitor at the house, she'll run to her room to hide.  And doctor visits?  Oh boy, she's a wreck over those.

 

I've tried to talk to her about coping techniques.  I've tried to say, "C'mon...it won't be so bad.  Just go try it. (Rah rah)"  Which I know probably does no good. I'm an introvert myself, and totally get that sometimes you just don't want to do something socially.  My husband always knows when I'm "socialed out."  Will it just get better with time? Do you guys think she needs medical help?  Anti-anxiety pills, maybe?

[Santi]

I'd ask her doctor/her if they would be comfortable trying medication. It definitely helped in my daughters situation.

[Mergath]

Oh yeah!  How could I either!  The dentist is the one place I've had panic attacks.  I get mildly anxious about the other things I mentioned, but nothing too bad, but the dentist...  oy.  Last time I was there, they told me to have my doctor proscribe me valium for the next time I went.  Eek.

 

Ask them for the laughing gas.  I just started going to a dentist this year that offers free nitrous oxide for any patient that asks, and it makes such a difference.  I used to terrified of going, now I actually kind of look forward to it. ;)

[nd293]

I found it hard to answer with the options given. For instance, I would be fine at a movie, play or classical concert. I have never been to a pop/rock concert, nor will I ever. I have never attended a large public event (think 4th July type of thing). I've never been to a nightclub. I am really not sure that even my family knows that this is anxiety-based. I'm just the stick-in-the mud introvert ;-)

 

When I feel anxious my heart pounds and my breathing feels irregular. I have a little bit of breathing anxiety going as it is - I don't mind the dentist, but hate the fluoride treatments or having moulds taken as they make me feel like I won't be able to swallow and breathe.

 

I am generally pretty rational, so I talk myself through a lot of things. Today we were talking about taking a ski-lift type of thing on a holiday - I did it repeatedly as we needed to do it with the kids, and because I don't want them to learn anxiety from me, but I had to focus consciously on my breathing and not think about anything else. Flying is a little the same, especially as I get older, also lifts/elevators and heights. I'll avoid unnecessary triggers, but I won't let anxiety stop me from doing something like flying overseas or going up the Eiffel Tower. As I get older I also feel more free to make decisions that work for me such as turning down a social invitations that feel overwhelming or sitting out an activity that will be unnecessarily stressful. Feeling that I can make these choices freely helps me to deal with other stressful situation when I do feel I need to participate.

 

Responding to this thread has been really interesting: I hadn't consciously realised how many things make me anxious nor that I have a fairly well-entrenched system for assessing potential situations and reacting accordingly (avoid or rationalise and work through).

[8circles]

Ask them for the laughing gas.  I just started going to a dentist this year that offers free nitrous oxide for any patient that asks, and it makes such a difference.  I used to terrified of going, now I actually kind of look forward to it. ;)

 

I haven't had it since I was a kid, but it's nice, isn't it?