Starbucks dirty diaper incident

[Moxie]

What says the Hive (my quote feature isn't working so I'm just pasting)??

 

 

 

It's often a great stresser among busy parents with small children on the go: Where to change a dirty diaper in public. But is it okay to pick the seat of a coffee shop?

That question led to a fight between a Denver mother of a one-year-old and Starbucks employees that resulted in a call to the police.

According to 9News.com in Denver, Ruth Burgos had to change her one-year-old son’s diaper while getting a coffee on Friday night. Realizing that there was no changing table in the store’s restroom, she changed him in the seating area, on the seat.

“As a mother, you have to do what you have to do. Wherever you have to do it,†she told 9News. â€I just kind of wiped him off, cleaned him off as quickly as I could.â€

Her husband says a Starbucks employee was rude to his wife, speaking in what he claims was a “demeaning tone.â€

“He said make sure to wipe the seat when you’re done,†he said. “They started talking amongst themselves and laughing about it.â€

He got so mad, he says, he dumped his venti coffee on the floor, saying, “Make sure you clean that.â€

A Starbucks employee called the police to report a "disturbance," but ultimately nobody was arrested.

The coffee chain's representative Jaime Riley told 9News that Starbucks "apologized to the Burgos family," and wants all customers treated with "dignity and respect."

The issue of available changing table have long been an issue at restaurants and coffee shops. There have been several attempts to petition Starbucks to make changing tables standard at all shops, as well as online tips on which locations have them and which don't. There's even a blog dedicated to restaurants and other eateries that don't have changing tables in men's bathrooms.

9News posted the story on its Facebook page, creating some interesting responses: While some argue that changing tables are cheap and should be installed in all public bathrooms, others say Burgos could have gone into her car or even changed her son on the floor of the bathroom.

One posting read: "That is DISGUSTING. Why couldn't she just leave the Starbucks and change her child in her car?! Or perhaps be more prepared with a changing pad she could put down in the bathroom? Or do ANYTHING other than change her child's DIAPER in a room where people are EATING?! Ugh. People."

Another person posted this: "Businesses should be more accommodating!!! If there's no changing station I have to lay my baby on the floor not cool!!"

What do you think? Was is okay for Burgos to change her son's diaper on the seat? Were the Starbucks employees out of line?

 

 

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2013/05/14/starbucks-calls-police-on-woman-after-changed-her-baby-diaper-on-seat/?intcmp=features#ixzz2TMnDSQE2

 

 

My opinion--Starbucks owes no apology and some people are way too entitled!!

[unsinkable]

I don't think it's appropriate to change a baby's diaper in the middle of a restaurant.

 

It doesn't matter if the restaurant doesn't have a changing table!

 

People have a choice to not patronize establishments that don't have changing tables.

 

And the guy dumping his coffee...change his diaper next! He has a bad case of reda$$.

 

 

[MissKNG]

In a situation like that, I would have went out to our van to change the diaper. NEVER in a restaurant.

[*Lulu*]

While not my favorite thing to do, I carried special disposable pads in my diaper bag to use when I had to change diapers on the floor.

 

They should have changed the baby in the bathroom or in thier vehicle.

 

Then, if they regularly frequent that shop, they should have started the process of convincing management to install changing tables in the restrooms.

 

Either way, dumping coffee on the floor because you are having a disagreement is more than a little petulant. It is very hard to win support for your position when you're standing on the low ground.

[Snickerdoodle]

In a situation like that, I would have went out to our van to change the diaper. NEVER in a restaurant.

 

What if you live in an urban environment and you don't have a car?

[sparrow]

I have changed many diapers in the car. NEVER in an area where there is food :thumbdown: . That is disgusting.

[*Lulu*]

 

 

What if you live in an urban environment and you don't have a car?

 

Then I would have gone to the counter, stated my problem, (no changing table), and given the restaurant the opportunity to provide a solution.

[ktgrok]

I hate when this situation happens. My answer is...I have no clue. Some bathrooms are too nasty to change on the floor, even with a pad down. As in, I'm not getting that close to the ground to do it. In that case I might change a wet diaper in my lap or in the stroller, quickly and discretely. I would NOT do that with a poopy diaper. I'd probably approach someone that works there and ask nicely where I should change my child's diaper, if for some reason the car wasn't an option. (only not an option if say, an urban area where people don't have cars/don't drive). For me, I'd just go to the van. But if I had been dropped off or took the bus or whatever? Like I said, only thing I can think of is to ask them nicely what they want me to do. They might have a back room or something I could use I bet.

 

As for dumping the coffee? What an idiot.

[sparrow]

What if you live in an urban environment and you don't have a car?

 

See BLA5's response below. I used to do the same thing.

 

While not my favorite thing to do, I carried special disposable pads in my diaper bag to use when I had to change diapers on the floor.

 

They should have changed the baby in the bathroom or in thier vehicle.

 

Then, if they regularly frequent that shop, they should have started the process of convincing management to install changing tables in the restrooms.

 

Either way, dumping coffee on the floor because you are having a disagreement is more than a little petulant. It is very hard to win support for your position when your standing on the low ground.

[sparrow]

This thread is reminding me of the Thanksgiving my SIL changed my niece ON the dining room table before dinner.

[poppy]

I've changed my kid's diaper, discreetly, in a restaurant booth seat. I more often pick the floor of a restroom (not in a stall, obviously). I don't think it's that big of a deal.

 

Pouring coffee on the floor loses any moral high ground the family might have had. Bad behavior by everyone involved.

[MusicMama]

double post

[MusicMama]

That's really a hard one. I would go to my car to change a diaper, but as a PP noted, not everybody has a car! And I also could have changed the diaper outside 9 months out of the year, unless it was raining. But again, the weather doesn't always cooperate and the availability of a nice grassy area isn't universal. So...I would go to the counter and explain my dilemma. Maybe there is a vacant booth in the back, and the mom could borrow some disinfectant spray? But if you are in a truly urban area, I think that next time coming prepared with a sturdy changing pad to use on the floor of the bathroom might be the best call. We have all had baby emergencies when out, but I think that dumping out the coffee was inappropriate!

[VeritasMama]

I've changed my baby on the floor of many a bathroom that didn't have a changing table. That is what changing pads are for, and most of the non-disposable ones are washable for a reason.

 

I'm usually pretty disgusted by the sense of entitlement my generation has, like because the rest of them have now decided to have babies the entire world should be rearranged to accomodate them. Typical of many of the millenials I know, sadly. My older cousins would be considered Generation X, they have just started having babies, so this could be a Gen X trait as well (I'm right on the cusp of both).

[Laurie4b]

Changing a baby's diapers in the eating part of an eating establishment is inappropriate. For one thing, babies' diapers smell. Do the other patrons have to be subjected to poop smell? Secondly, it's unsanitary to have feces exposed in an eating area which is what the employees were reacting to.

 

Coffee isn't a necessity of life. They didn't have to go in/stay in the Starbucks. A dirty diaper does not have to be changed instantly --a few minutes to get to someplace where there was a better place to change isn't asking too much. (If a baby poops in the car, do moms immediately pull over? No, we wait until we get where we're going or if it's going to be a while, until we can get to a rest stop, etc.)

 

If they were in an urban area with no car and not in a Starbucks, where would they have gone to change their baby? They could have left Starbucks to go there. But most likely, there was a perfectly available vehicle for them to have changed their child in.

[WishboneDawn]

I think any behaviour after the changing of the diaper is beside the point. If you start expose a resraurant full of people to human excrement, you should darn well expect some rude behaviour to follow. There is NO excuse for that.

 

I'd leave and find another place or put a pad, blanket, sweater, paper towel on the bathroom floor and change the baby there. In fact, I HAVE done that. It's a minor inconvienience compared to the one that mother was asking of every other patron in that restaurant.

[AK_Mom4]

Ick. It's been many years since I've changed diapers and most places we went to didn't have changing tables in the bathrooms. I used to carry a foldup plastic changing pad in the diaper bag. Lay the pad on the floor of the bathroom, change the diaper, fold it back up and off you go.

 

No way would I change a diaper near where people were eating. That is just gross.

[QuirkyKapers]

I would have left. In fact, I have been in those situations and have had to leave. I know the Starbucks in our area usually have other restaurants of drug stores near them. Doesn't take long to get coffee, can be in and out. So, you planned on staying and chatting, well part of having kids is the unexpected. Come back after diaper is changed.

 

Personally, it makes me cringe when thinking about changing a diaper in the middle of the restaurant, it smells and the germs...ack. However, it could have been handled much more discreetly. Coffee on the floor, unacceptable.

 

ETA: As a mom, I always knew where there was or wasn't a changing table. If I knew somewhere wouldn't have one, I would have a plan just in case, because usually you need a just in case plan with babies. One never knows when or what will be spewing or squriting out of where. But than again, I plan out everything so I get that might be how others operate :)

[jillian]

I've done it on a chair, it wasn't like it was on a table. Most moms are quite quick about it. I always got out my hand sanitizer and wiped down the seat too but then again I'm a mom who also picks up the huge crumbs when dd would make a mess as a little one at a restaurant.

 

edited to add: i also always had a mat with me and would use it with a changing table or not. And I made sure that I always sat in the back corner because I would nurse in public also *gasp without covering dd up* and it was quieter

[MissKNG]

What if you live in an urban environment and you don't have a car?

 

 

Then I probably would have been rather close to home and would have just went back home to change the diaper. Or went to a discrete spot and changed the diaper in the stroller (which I've done IRL at the playground, softball games, etc). I've even rolled the stroller into the big stall in the bathroom and changed the diaper in the stroller.

[Kebo]

 

 

What if you live in an urban environment and you don't have a car?

 

 

In an urban environment, chances are that there is a business nearby that DOES have a changing table. I typically used the car, or the floor of the restroom with a pad. Never an eating area.

[Annie G]

I'm quite sure they would have given her a trash bag to put on the floor so she could change her baby on the bathroom floor without actually laying on it. Then again, she probably had a car or a nearby home to use. It's beyond rude to expose other customer's to your kid's smelly diaper- especially while they are consuming food and beverages!

 

The employees should not have been rude back, though. Asking her to clean the chair was fine- not rude at all. But what followed was rude.

[Guest submarines]

I've never been bothered by a quick diaper change in a place like Starbucks. I've seen it, I've done it, my friends have do it. I'm not talking about a big poopy production, but a quick wet diaper change is quick and discreet, and hygienically not worse than anything else happening at Starbucks.

 

And of course I'd wipe the chair after I was done. And I'd be mortified if DH dropped his cup on the floor in retaliation. Yikes. However telling the mother snidely that she should wipe the chair was unnecessary as well. But, as I said, I don't mind a quick diaper change at a public place.

[SKL]

You can't just change a baby diaper anywhere you want. There's a time and a place. As parents, we have to plan ahead sometimes. Sometimes that means using the car seat. Even if they didn't have a car handy, I doubt the Starbucks was the only structure with a bathroom in walking distance. Even a bench in a mall or lobby or park would be better than an eating establishment. But IF, for argument's sake, they really had no other acceptable place to do it, they should have been as quick and discreet and APOLOGETIC as necessary to avoid inconveniencing anyone else. SO WHAT if they asked her to wipe the seat after she changed a sh!t diaper there?? And frankly I think the guy spilling his coffee should be treated as some sort of crime. What a pig. Given that he would do that, I am not inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt on the "need" to change the diaper in the seat. ... And by the way, I changed my babies' diapers with no changing table, even at home, since long before they could walk. It's a useful life skill IMO. That's my version of "you gotta do what you gotta do."

[SKL]

I also used to keep some disposable changing pads in my diaper bag just in case.

[jillian]

Does it say if it was a poopy diaper or just pee? Pee fine, poop not so much

[Chelli]

Besides other things that have been mentioned (car, stroller, floor), I've also changed mine by the sink in the bathroom. Usually there is just enough counter that if you angle the baby just right you can change it. Even my very large children have fit.

 

I've also sat on a toilet, laid the baby on my lap on the changing pad and changed the kid that way.

 

I have also been known to do a quick urine change in a seat if there is not changing table (but I almost always try to wait until I get somewhere else), but I would not do a poopy one. Ever.

 

ETA: I just watched the video linked in the OP. The child is one-year old, standing and walking. At that point, I've taken mine to the restroom and changed them while they stood up. I don't see any reason why she had to lay the child down in the middle of the Starbucks to change his diaper. And the dad acted like an idiot.

[Seasider]

I see there are a few of you who think a quick, discreet diaper change within the dining area of an establishment is okay.

 

I think the Health Department, which inspects. regulates & certifies restaurants, would hold a different opinion. Please show some respect for the folks in the restaurant industry who strive to uphold cleanliness standards. And for the majority of diners who are repulsed by such practices.

 

Sorry to sound mean, but this is pretty clear to me. If you had friends over for dinner would you change your baby's diaper in the dining room while they were eating? It is rude and if you're going out socially with a baby you should be prepared for whatever inconveniences may erupt.

[Matryoshka]

My older cousins would be considered Generation X, they have just started having babies, so this could be a Gen X trait as well (I'm right on the cusp of both).

 

 

Yikes, I'm GenX, admittedly on the older end, but I'm past my childbearing years at 48, certainly not just starting! But I guess the youngest are only 30 now...

[Lang Syne Boardie]

It is a big deal to change a baby's diaper in a restaurant booth. Stop doing that! I can't believe how many people are saying they do it and their friends do it.

 

Change diapers in private. Please. In your car or in the bathroom, or at a public restroom where there are changing tables, but not in the dining area of restaurants. Your mothers, grandmothers, and elder sisters managed with lots of children in lots of environments, and you can do it, too.

 

Edited to remove the "raised by wolves" comment. Sorry about that.

[plansrme]

A one year old also is old enough to be learning

that public nakedness of one's hiney is unacceptable.

 

These parents need to get over their entitlement mentality and apologize to some Starbucks customers.

[PrairieSong]

If it was a poopy diaper, that is very gross. I always changed mine in a bathroom or on the car.

 

[NotSoObvious]

Absolutely disgusting.

 

If you don't have any other options, then don't lounge in Starbucks with a one year old. Period.

[VeritasMama]

Yikes, I'm GenX, admittedly on the older end, but I'm past my childbearing years at 48, certainly not just starting! But I guess the youngest are only 30 now...

 

 

My cousins are men between the ages of 36 and early 40's, their wives are younger. I'm in my early 30's, right at the cutoff between Gen X and Millenial. I read Gen X goes from the early 60's to the early 80's, which is when I was born. I'm the oldest female cousin, so my sisters and cousins who are now having babies are millenials. I started very young, so I've been at this for a while, a lot of my college friends are just starting to have kids the last few years. You'd think no one else had ever had a baby in the history of the world, it is that intense, lol.

[*Lulu*]

Just wanted to add that:

 

1) I had washable changing pads in the diaper bag for normal use and the disposable ones for really really nasty places. I have never been in a Starbucks' bathroom that would qualify as nasty.

 

And

 

2) Sometimes a poop diaper cannot wait. While teething all three of my kids had bowel movements that were so caustic they would almost imediately cause damage to thier tiny, delicate hineys. Because I knew this I left the house very prepared to deal with it. IMO, that is part of parenting, using the grey matter to do some brainstorming and problem anticipation. Considering the father includes throwing food like a middle school child as an acceptable problem solving strategy, I am not sure there was much thinking ahead in this equation.

[SKL]

I also wish Starbucks had not apologized. Changing tables are a nice convenience, but it isn't up to customers to decide ABC establishment needs to have one. Starbucks isn't a kiddy restaurant. Maybe they don't aspire to being the most popular hangout for parents of pant-poopers. That's a business decision on their part IMO.

[Chelli]

It is a big deal to change a baby's diaper in a restaurant booth. Stop doing that! I can't believe how many people are saying they do it and their friends do it.

 

Change diapers in private. Please. In your car or in the bathroom, or at a public restroom where there are changing tables, but not in the dining area of restaurants. Your mothers, grandmothers, and elder sisters managed with lots of children in lots of environments, and you can do it, too.

 

Edited to remove the "raised by wolves" comment. Sorry about that.

 

 

:iagree: I said in my post that I'd changed my baby in a booth before, but when I got to thinking about it. I think I did it once, maybe twice (only pee both times), but I never did it after that because I saw a mom change her kid on the table at a restaurant and it totally grossed me out. I didn't want to make anyone else feel that way so I now find somewhere else that is private to change a diaper if there is no changing table.

 

It really does just come down to common courtesy. Do want to sit or eat where someone changed their baby's diaper even if it is just pee? I don't. Not to mention it is a health violation to have excrement around food or drink like a pp mentioned.

[Penelope]

If it was only wet, still gross, especially if already a toddler. And I don't know why a toddler can't go into the bathroom with mom.

 

Dirty diaper? Unacceptable. It's bad enough having to go in a tiny bathroom with diapers in the garbage (since lots of people don't even flush what should be flushed but throw it all in the trash), but in the middle of the restaurant? That's ridiculous.

[Seasider]

I also wish Starbucks had not apologized. Changing tables are a nice convenience, but it isn't up to customers to decide ABC establishment needs to have one. Starbucks isn't a kiddy restaurant. Maybe they don't aspire to being the most popular hangout for parents of pant-poopers. That's a business decision on their part IMO.

 

 

A decision reinforced by the actions of tantrum-dad, no doubt.

[*Lulu*]

I also wish Starbucks had not apologized. Changing tables are a nice convenience, but it isn't up to customers to decide ABC establishment needs to have one. Starbucks isn't a kiddy restaurant. Maybe they don't aspire to being the most popular hangout for parents of pant-poopers. That's a business decision on their part IMO.

 

 

No, actually it is up to the customers to decide if they want one. If they do, they should ask.

 

If Starbucks decides they do not want those customers to continue patronizing their establishment they are free to ignore the request.

 

My guess would be If enough patrons ask for one, the company will give them what they want.

[Paige]

What if you live in an urban environment and you don't have a car?

 

 

Then I would leave and go somewhere else. I'd go home, or to a public restroom, or another store even if it meant buying a token item to use the restroom. Or changed him on the grass in an out of the way place. Changing a stinky diaper in a restaurant would never be an option. I've been to metro places with no car and an infant and it's not that hard to work it out. It won't kill the baby to sit in his diaper for the 5-10min it takes to locate an appropriate place. It's not ideal, but sometimes it has to happen.

 

I think the parents were completely out of line.

[AndyJoy]

Gross, gross, gross. I don't care if it's just pee, I don't think anyone should be changing a diaper in a restaurant. If you're not prepared with something you can put on the floor of the bathroom (even your own sweatshirt--been there), use your car, a strip of grass, or walk somewhere else nearby. Most Starbucks stores I've been in have single-toilet bathrooms, so the couple could have gotten creative and gone in together. One could have sat on the floor or toilet with the kid and paper towels on his/her lap while the other one changed him.

 

Pouring the coffee on the floor was childish, even if the employees were being snotty, sniggering brats. If you can't maintain an adult, professional dignity in this situation, you don't really have a leg to stand on when you complain to the manager about their rudeness.

 

I often lament the lack of changing tables at fast food places in my town. Not even McDonald's has one!!! It was recently remodeled and has a huge handicapped stall with a giant blank wall, and no changing table. I used the floor when I first realized this, then planned ahead for future visits.

[sparrow]

This thread has been enlightening to me. I had no idea that people would think it was OK to change a diaper in a dining area. It's not. It's gross.

 

I guess I have been fortunate and have not seen anyone do this, but I admit, I'm a little skeeved out now. I'm wondering what people have done on the booth or seat my family is sitting on before we got there :tongue_smilie:.

[Murphy101]

The pee and excrement is around the food whether the diaper is changed or not. It's still sitting there coating a baby butt sitting in the booth stinking things up and or making the baby cranky. I find it far more hygienic to put a pad on the booth seat and clean it up to be removed to a trash can. Wash seat. Wash hands. Move on.

 

Obviously be discreet, quick and clean about it.

 

I think the staff and the couple were both rude ignoramuses.

[ailysh]

"Everybody should accommodate me but I need not accommodate anybody" is the attitude I'm reading from the patrons in this situation. Who wants to see or smell that? Plus have a little respect for the child's privacy. It may not gross you out as a parent to that child but it grosses everybody else out. sheesh

[SKL]

I think the staff and the couple were both rude ignoramuses.

I'm not inclined to believe anything the couple says about the staff, because their physical reaction was so over the top. Sounds like they are not playing with a full deck. I hope I never cross paths with that couple. Lord knows what action of mine will be interpreted as an insult or provocation.

[SKL]

Personally I had my kids at that age pooping in the toilet, partly because nobody wants to smell that while they are eating, whether in a diaper or not. However, obviously I'm in the minority on that.

[Murphy101]

One, if the diaper is changed properly, it shouldn't be unhygienic.

 

Two, if the staff properly buses the tables, the table and booth should be sanitary regardless of who did what before you.

 

Did you know raw chicken is a health hazard? Did you know it's in almost every restaurant? Some restaurants even handle it right there at the table! And it's okay if one cleans their hands before and after use and cleans the station.

[AlmiraGulch]

"Discreet" doesn't make it any more sanitary. It's disgusting.

[Murphy101]

Meh. This is like squeamish people to me. I get it I suppose. It's just not something I have much patience for.

 

It's a diaper. They are common to babies. I'm fairly certain I am going to dislike wiping the crap off more than someone else dislikes knowing or seeing me do it. But such is life. I've had kids in diapers for a solid 18 years, most of the time i had 2 or 3 in diapers, and heck no I am not going to go home every time I needed to change a diaper for one of them. And I think putting a wobbly poop butt in my lap and trying to change it without dumping the baby or getting poop everywhere makes less sense than using a stable mostly out of sight and easy to wipe vinyl booth seat when other options weren't available for whatever reason. Not once in 18 years have I ever had anyone comment on it or be rude to me about it.