Update:)what would you do if your baby turned blue and stopped breathing

[Flowing Brook]

My friends baby has stopped breathing three times today. His tongue went from gray to blue. He passed out the first time it happened.

She says he is doing it because he is spoiled.

She is keeping a close eye on him and going to take him to the dr tomorrow.

What could this be? I have never heard of a baby doing this because he was spoiled.

I am trying not to meddle because it is not my child. If it was my baby he would be in the er right now.

What would you do? The baby is 11 months. It happens when he is crying.

 

Update in post # 140

Update in post #167

[Spryte]

We would be at the ER. That is scary!

[Flowing Brook]

I forgot to mention he is 11 months.

[Caroline]

Call 911. I mean that is what I would do. Might not be the right answer.

[PuddleJumper1]

I'd be concerned he is having seizures. I agree with you - I'd be seeking medical advice asap. What you describe is not a baby being spoiled to my way of thinking. My youngest had onset of epilepsy at 13 months. His mouth turned blue and he appeared to be unconcious (he was unresponsive). There is no way I'd put that baby to bed tonight without seeing a medical professional. She belongs in the ER with him.

[Chelli]

Was he crying when it happened or just sitting there and passed out?

 

I'd probably be at the doctor or the ER.

[Flowing Brook]

Was he crying when it happened or just sitting there and passed out?

 

I'd probably be at the doctor or the ER.

 

 

 

every time he was crying when it happened.

[ChristusG]

I don't think an 11 month old can grasp the concept to do that! We'd be at the ER or maybe in an ambulance!

[Flowing Brook]

I don't think an 11 month old can grasp the concept to do that! We'd be at the ER or maybe in an ambulance!

 

 

That's what I told her!

[Unicorn.]

How in the he11, could an 11 month old be turning blue because he is spoiled? Was he throwing a temper tantrum and crying extremely hard, or???

Personally, I would call 911 or at the least take him to the ER.

 

Edited after seeing your response that he was crying.

[Chelli]

 

 

every time he was crying when it happened.

 

 

I thought he might have been. I've seen babies cry so hard that they literally lose their breath which causes them to pass out.

 

I would probably still go to the doctor/ER just for my peace of mind.

[bolt.]

It is impossible for a "baby" to control his/her breathing for any volitional reason. Therefore it is impossible for it to be because she/he is spoiled.

 

It might be because he/she has been left crying to the point where the crying is so severe that the baby does not breathe in as she/he would need to. I can see some parents calling that "because he/she is spoiled" (Because some parents believe that crying severely when upset is something a baby does willfully and sinfully, therefore the baby is considered responsible himself to stop crying -- before passing out, and if she/he does not, it is because his/her will is not yet broken = therefore = spoiled. Yes. There are parents like that.)

 

So, I'd be much less worried if the mom said "I don't know why." than in this case where she has said, "It's because she/he is spoiled." That line just makes my blood run cold with the image that it is *her* that can't or won't comfort or help a child that was crying that hard for that long "because he/she is spoiled."

 

On the other hand, "I don't know why." -- would make me want more urgent medical attention. if it's not caused by crying, it's caused by something else, and that cause needs to be found -- before that baby is alone in bed tonight and it happens, perhaps more permanently.

 

If it's crying related, the fainting stops the crying, and breathing resumes. That's what fainting is for.

 

I hope they get the help they need, either way.

[beaners]

I'd stop trying not to meddle.

 

It sounds similar to the "ALTE" my son had a few months ago. That's Acute (or Apparent) Life Threatening Event (or Episode).

 

That was serious enough that they had us in the hospital overnight for monitoring, and he only had 1.

 

This needs to be checked out.

[Flowing Brook]

 

I thought he might have been. I've seen babies cry so hard that they literally lose their breath which causes them to pass out.

 

I would probably still go to the doctor/ER just for my peace of mind.

 

The thing is she does not believe in crying it out. he was not really crying that long any of the times this happened. She read online that it could be because he is spoiled. Her insurance may not cover it that's why she is waiting. I feel like no amount of money is worth taking a risk with your child but like I said it is not my child.

[AK_Mom4]

It would be worth a trip to the doctor. One of mine did this when startled or hurt - the doctor had some fancy name for it but it was basically just holding her breath. It was NOT a tantrum, though she was often crying, and it was never deliberate. She out-grew it about age 3.

[Momof3littles]

That's an emergency situation and baby needs to be at the ER ASAP. Could be cardiac, neurological, etc. and baby needs to be seen and diagnosed or cleared.

[mommymilkies]

My niece did. She was a week older than my 4th child, but any time her mom left the area, she would instantly hold her breath and turn blue and it scared us all to death. The doctor knew and had seen it, and said she was just holding her breath from anxiety. She did I it until she was about 2. It was the scariest thing!

[elegantlion]

Geez, I'm pretty low key about ER visits, but I'd be in one for that. I've heard of babies crying themselves to sleep or just wearing out, but never until they turn blue. I would be very concerned. I sincerely hope she is downplaying her fear because that would totally freak me out. I'd ask her to call her doctor or ask her why she isn't going to the ER now.

[Cera]

I would take him to the emergency room immediately.

 

My older child held her breath until she passed out a couple of times when she was a preschooler (3 and 4) but she was DEFINITELY doing it intentionally for attention because she was mad (and she didn't turn blue/gray at all).

 

eta: Even though I was pretty sure that's what it was I took her in the first time to rule out anything cardiac.

[bolt.]

If she does not believe in crying it out, and these are not severe prolonged crying events, then it definitely needs medical attention.

 

BEFORE!!!!!

 

BED!!!!!

 

You just do not put a child who is having breathing interruptions to bed. It could be the last time. It's that important.

 

If the baby must sleep before he/she can be seen, the mom should wear him/her in a snuggly and closely monitor his breathing. When she drives him to the hospital, someone else should sit beside his car seat, just in case. If breathing ceases, open the baby's mouth and puff their own breath closely towards it (not mouth to mouth yet), also tickle and jostle and possibly chilly water. If that's ineffective, infant mouth to mouth should be the (quick) next option. You should both look it up online and print out some diagrams so you will know what to do if you have to.

[TeenagerMom]

My DS did it Post Op at 11 months old. He was crying so hard that he turned blue and passed out. My DD was also a breath holder. My Ped told me not to be too concerned because she would start breathing again if she went so long that she passed out. My niece was also a turn blue & pass out breathe holder when her Mom left her until she was around 15-16 months old.

[blondeviolin]

We have breath-holders here. It starts when my kids are around 10 mos, peaks between 1 and 2, with it dissipating around 3. It's not manipulative at all. My kids don't turn blue (pallid spells here), but have occasionally passed out and had seizure-like jerks. Even though I KNOW this about my kids, and KNOW its benign, it's still really, really creepy!

 

That being said, the first time it happened, you bet we were in an ambulance with CT scans, etc (she had whacked her head pretty hard). If I were your friend, I'd make an appointment with the pediatrician to check and make sure everything is as it should as breath-holding spells can mask other underlying issues.

[Flowing Brook]

If she does not believe in crying it out, and these are not severe prolonged crying events, then it definitely needs medical attention.

 

BEFORE!!!!!

 

BED!!!!!

 

You just do not put a child who is having breathing interruptions to bed. It could be the last time. It's that important.

 

If the baby must sleep before he/she can be seen, the mom should wear him/her in a snuggly and closely monitor his breathing. When she drives him to the hospital, someone else should sit beside his car seat, just in case. If breathing ceases, open the baby's mouth and puff their own breath closely towards it (not mouth to mouth yet), also tickle and jostle and possibly chilly water. If that's ineffective, infant mouth to mouth should be the (quick) next option. You should both look it up online and print out some diagrams so you will know what to do if you have to.

 

One reason she is not very concerned is because when he stopped breathing. (not the time he passed out) She blew in his face and he started breathing again. That would not be enough to comfort me.

[LibraryLover]

My friends baby has stopped breathing three times today. His tongue went from gray to blue. He passed out the first time it happened.

She says he is doing it because he is spoiled.

She is keeping a close eye on him and going to take him to the dr tomorrow.

What could this be? I have never heard of a baby doing this because he was spoiled.

I am trying not to meddle because it is not my child. If it was my baby he would be in the er right now.

What would you do? The baby is 11 months. It happens when he is crying.

 

 

Just when you think you've heard everything...

 

Thank goodness she is going to take him to the Dr.

[EKS]

ER. Immediately. That's what I'd do.

[bolt.]

 

One reason she is not very concerned is because when he stopped breathing. (not the time he passed out) She blew in his face and he started breathing again. That would not be enough to comfort me.

Not unless I had plans to stay up and alert all night/naps watching and ready to do that... and not just tonight. Does she want to be his 24 breathing assistant while having no idea what is wrong with him? That's not a plan. Has she really not heard of SIDS?

 

Seriously, I'm not into the manipulative scare tactics way of 'being a friend' either -- but this is important stuff. Friends don't let friends risk their babies' lives.

[jeninok]

Call 911. I mean that is what I would do. Might not be the right answer.

 

 

That is what I would do too. The one time DS did this as a baby it was Croup, and his airway was swollen shut. We ended up in children's ICU for 3 days.

[Flowing Brook]

Not unless I had plans to stay up and alert all night/naps watching and ready to do that... and not just tonight. Does she want to be his 24 breathing assistant while having no idea what is wrong with him? That's not a plan. Has she really not heard of SIDS?

 

Seriously, I'm not into the manipulative scare tactics way of 'being a friend' either -- but this is important stuff. Friends don't let friends risk their babies' lives.

I've told her If it was my baby he'd be in the er. Short of picking him up and taking him myself I don't know what more I can do. I will call her again and tell her I he needs to be seen tonight no matter the cost.

[happymomofboys]

Does your hospital or community have a nurse triage line you could call and ask? Maybe if she heard from a professional, she'd be more concerned. Or if the nurse agreed with her, then you could rest easier. Just a thought.

 

If it were my baby, we'd be at the ER.

[bolt.]

Yeah, I descend to direct scare tactics, guilt and intimidation. I'd also offer to do the driving and the paying.

[justasque]

It infuriates me that money has to be part of this question.

All I can say is that if it were my (well-insured) kid I would have been at the ER the first time. I know that's a privilege that not everyone has.

I'm sorry that she has to weigh money into her decision-making process.

 

OP, please keep a sharp eye on mom. 11-month-old babies communicate by crying. They cannot rationally say "mom, my tummy isn't feeling good" or "mom, my arm hurts when I hold it this way" or "mom, something is really not right with me even though I can't explain exactly what it is". They just cry. Mom doesn't have to know why - that's what doctors are for. This baby needs to be seen.

[MedicMom]

Ambulance.

Er.

As soon as it happened.

 

The tongue turning from gray to blue plus passing out would have me very concerned. Usually children who hold their breath are older than eleven months. He could have a cardiac issue that decreases blood supply when he is upset or a myriad of other serious problems.

 

And as a paramedic, I rarely rarely take my kids to the hospital or doctors and never by ambulance. But this would be one time we did.

[Whereneverever]

Um, ambulance ASAP?

[Whereneverever]

Um, ambulance ASAP?

[Whereneverever]

Um, ambulance ASAP?

[bzymom]

I don't think attempting to make a differential diagnosis without training while a baby stops breathing is within the realm of rational parenting.

 

Her baby needs medical attention. Now. I understand the financial difficulty. It is not reason enough to wait.

 

Push her. Badger her. Make her afraid, as she should be. I certainly hope docs find something easily handled, but let THEM diagnose.

[bolt.]

[RANT]

 

Do you know what I hate about forums? I hate powerlessness. I hate having nothing but words.

 

And I hate that so many of you live in America -- where things like cost this are even a BLIP in the moment of decision making. Sometimes I imagine myself just copying and collecting all the posts (not just here) about, "Should I or my child be seen for this potentially serious medical issue, and risk the outcome of paying for nothing, if it turns out it was nothing?" and, "We need advice for living in a limited way, because we have crippling medical debt and are going to be paying for a medical crisis monthly practically forever." and, "We can't leave our jobs because we would lose insurance." and, "Our kids can't ... because of insurance, or lack thereof." and, "I can't leave my abusive spouse because we'd be uninsured with xyz medical needs to pay for." and, oh my. It goes on and on.

 

But then I think that if I read them all in a row, I'd just cry. Money and medicine don't belong together.

 

I know medical insurance is a terribly political issue right now in America, and I don't know if anything can or will really help those of you whose lives I read through this computer screen of mine -- but I pray, truly pray, that something somehow takes the money out of your medical decisions.

 

So that every mother who thinks her child might stop breathing and die gets to stop asking herself the brutal mercenary question, "Well, there's a chance it could be fatal, and there's a chance it could be nothing -- how much money am I going to need to find out which it is?"

 

[/RANT]

[momto5blessings]

bolt. I hear you. Until I lived overseas for 8 years I didn't understand either. I don't know what the answer is, but insurance tied to a job is nuts. Just nuts. And so are the crazy premiums, and insane deductibles.

[gardenmom5]

spoiling implies the child is able to manipulate the adult. for the child to manipulate anyone requires the cognitive function of if you engage in action a: action b.: will follow. an 11 month old baby still thinks you're gone when you play peek-a-boo. iow: that baby is NOT being manipulative, thus cannot be "spoiled".

 

she needs to take the baby into the ER. has she actually spoken with her dr? or just called in and made an appointment? did she tell the dr's NURSE the baby is passing out when crying and turning blue? probably not or they would tell her to go to the ER.

 

 

eta: she if you can compromise with her and have her call the nurse advice line for a children's hospital and see what they will say. (they tend to er on the side of caution - and say bring them in._)

 

she might be refusing to think this is serious as a way of handling her fear in the face of a potentially high risk situation. DeNile. it isn't "just" a river in egypt.

[Acorn]

I had a breath holder until fainting. Or I also read that some people when scared or startled exhale instead of inhale before crying, so that they pass out. Sometimes, I could avoid the fainting if I blew on her face. Definite worth talking to the doctor, but at least in our case we didn't need medical care because we knew what was happening.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

If I was witness to this and the mother wasn't calling the ER I'd call. I don't care if it's not my business. It is dangerous and if the baby dies I'd feel horrible for not doing what I could.

[Catwoman]

One reason she is not very concerned is because when he stopped breathing. (not the time he passed out) She blew in his face and he started breathing again. That would not be enough to comfort me.

 

Oh, yeah. The baby STOPPED BREATHING but she was able to get him to start breathing again, so she's not that concerned.

 

WHAT??? :scared:

 

I would have been at the ER so fast, my car would have left skid marks in the driveway.

 

Oh, who am I kidding? I would have called 911.

 

IMO, she is taking a huge and entirely unnecessary risk with her baby's life.

 

And if she thinks her 11mo old is doing this because he's spoiled, I think she has some issues. :glare:

 

I can. not. imagine. any mother not being frantic over something like this. Does she have a dh? Can someone get in touch with him and tell him what happened? Or her mom? Or her MIL? Seriously, that baby needs to be at the hospital. Kids don't just suddenly, out of the blue, start turning blue, passing out, and not breathing. It is absolutely not normal and needs to be checked out immediately.

[Lanny]

@OP If your friend has not already taken the baby to the E.R., suggest that she do that, immediately. If she has not done that, and will not do that, call C.P.S. Your friend, based on this, sounds like an "unfit" mother. The baby is not doing this because he is spoiled. He may have a heart problem, or, another very serious problem. For her to think that he is doing this, intentionally, is insane. I hope the baby is OK.

[gardenmom5]

 

One reason she is not very concerned is because when he stopped breathing. (not the time he passed out) She blew in his face and he started breathing again. That would not be enough to comfort me.

 

and did she try it when he passed out and it didn't work? or she didn't try it?

[Spryte]

I've already posted... but have a feeling I will be obsessively checking this thread all night for an update that mom took that baby to the ER. :sad:

 

If she won't take him to the ER, could she at least call the on call doc at her pediatrician's office??

[Julie Smith]

We have breath-holders here. It starts when my kids are around 10 mos, peaks between 1 and 2, with it dissipating around 3. It's not manipulative at all. My kids don't turn blue (pallid spells here), but have occasionally passed out and had seizure-like jerks. Even though I KNOW this about my kids, and KNOW its benign, it's still really, really creepy!

 

That being said, the first time it happened, you bet we were in an ambulance with CT scans, etc (she had whacked her head pretty hard). If I were your friend, I'd make an appointment with the pediatrician to check and make sure everything is as it should as breath-holding spells can mask other underlying issues.

 

 

Youngest would have breath holding spells. If something happened that made him upset. (such as stumbing his toe, or falling on his bum when trying to walk). He would take a deep breath in as if about to let out a big cry. Instead of crying he would just straigten his body. If standing or sitting you would have to catch him or he would fall back on his head. He would then lie flat on his back. His limbs would stiffen to the point his back would raise off the ground. Sometimes his eyes would roll out of the way so you could only see the whites of his eyes.

 

It was very scary.

 

When he did finally start breathing he would wimper a tiny bit. If I wasn't there offering him a snuggle and breast milk he would heard his breath again.

 

Therefore I was always with him, from about 10 months to 2 1/2 years.

 

ETA: He would turn blue-ish.

 

For him, it was normal. It is actually not that uncommon. I use to do the same, but not at such a young age, and not for so long.

 

You can look up, "baby breath holding" and see some videos on youtube.

 

And yes when researching it ages ago I heard it attributed to being spoiled. A tatic used by a kid to get what they wanted. What I read at the time warned me not to give in when this tatic was used. ??? I suppose that might be useful advice is the one doing so isn't a baby. Even my Dr. warned me not to give in when he held his breath because then he would learn to hold his breath to get what he wanted. I was like, "Um,,,, he is a baby. He is upset because gravity makes it hard to walk. How could I possible give in to that. Reverse the laws of gravity!?!?!"

[Catwoman]

I just wanted to also mention that I'm sorry you're stuck in the middle of this, puddles. :grouphug: It's a helpless feeling when you know what someone should be doing, yet they're not doing it.

 

Could it be that your friend is one of those people who can't face the possibility of anything going seriously wrong, so she sticks her head in the sand and pretends everything is OK? If that's the case, someone is going to have to get pretty tough with her. That poor baby could die! :(

[LibraryLover]

 

 

Could it be that your friend is one of those people who can't face the possibility of anything going seriously wrong, so she sticks her head in the sand and pretends everything is OK?

 

 

 

Excellent point. I hope everything is ok for her and her baby!

[magnificent_baby]

She should have called 911 the first time.

 

If she refuses to take him to ER now, you need to call police. If she's upset about that, then she's not deserving of your friendship.

[AimeeM]

nm

[RANT]

 

Do you know what I hate about forums? I hate powerlessness. I hate having nothing but words.

 

And I hate that so many of you live in America -- where things like cost this are even a BLIP in the moment of decision making. Sometimes I imagine myself just copying and collecting all the posts (not just here) about, "Should I or my child be seen for this potentially serious medical issue, and risk the outcome of paying for nothing, if it turns out it was nothing?" and, "We need advice for living in a limited way, because we have crippling medical debt and are going to be paying for a medical crisis monthly practically forever." and, "We can't leave our jobs because we would lose insurance." and, "Our kids can't ... because of insurance, or lack thereof." and, "I can't leave my abusive spouse because we'd be uninsured with xyz medical needs to pay for." and, oh my. It goes on and on.

 

But then I think that if I read them all in a row, I'd just cry. Money and medicine don't belong together.

 

I know medical insurance is a terribly political issue right now in America, and I don't know if anything can or will really help those of you whose lives I read through this computer screen of mine -- but I pray, truly pray, that something somehow takes the money out of your medical decisions.

 

So that every mother who thinks her child might stop breathing and die gets to stop asking herself the brutal mercenary question, "Well, there's a chance it could be fatal, and there's a chance it could be nothing -- how much money am I going to need to find out which it is?"

 

[/RANT]