do you ever find a blog that makes you jealous/ forlorn/ envious?

[unsinkable]

No, I don't.

 

 

 

Also, many mommyblogs are a business. Either the person is making money from the blog, or they hope to make money from it. In order to make money by blogging your life, it pretty has to exclude the mundane.

 

Yes, it is the business of selling your children's personal life and privacy for money.

[MrsBasil]

I wonder if there's a market for a blog called, How To Make Yourself Feel Instantly Better About Your Homemaking and Photography Ability'

 

I could use my $100 camera to take pics of what my real life house looks like, my menu plan(lol), post my sleeping schedule, and a bunch of women would instantly feel better about their own homes. Not to mention their photography skills.

 

But no, blogs don't typically get me down. I've found too many instances where people blogging don't tell the whole story(not that they are obligated) or fluff things up and I realized it's an presented image, they have a choice about what they share and a lot of people want to keep negativity of the internet, want a scrapbook style blog, or just don't want to rehash ugliness.

 

Also, some women who have these blogs are approaching them from a business standpoint. So the chatty mommy style and fabulous pics are not necessarily just for fun, but as a way to bring in income. If that was my job I'd want to put my best foot forward too.

[Hen]

maybe someone could go back, the posters? and break the links to the blogs that are being discussed. I know that as a blogger, I have site meters and know where traffic is coming from, if they see a lot of clicks, they will probably check the source and might really have their feelings hurt.

[unsinkable]

maybe someone could go back, the posters? and break the links to the blogs that are being discussed. I know that as a blogger, I have site meters and know where traffic is coming from, if they see a lot of clicks, they will probably check the source and might really have their feelings hurt.

 

So bloggers with public blogs who willinging write about their own lives will get their feelings hurt if people read and comment on the blogs?

 

Ummmm...there is some kind of disconnect somewhere...

[Hen]

So bloggers with public blogs who willinging write about their own lives will get their feelings hurt if people read and comment on the blogs?

 

Ummmm...there is some kind of disconnect somewhere...

 

no, I have no problem with a blogger getting comments from readers on her blog, but I kind of wince at the thought picture of a mommy blogger clicking over, wondering why all the traffic from a homeschooling board and possibly feeling dog-piled on with sharp comments a person wouldn't make to her face. Sometimes people are way more blunt on a message board then they would be on someone's blog or to her face.

[butterflymommy]

maybe someone could go back, the posters? and break the links to the blogs that are being discussed. I know that as a blogger, I have site meters and know where traffic is coming from, if they see a lot of clicks, they will probably check the source and might really have their feelings hurt.

 

I don't think there are any direct links in this thread. Just names. I had to google the one mentioned.

[justamouse]

See, I never read a blog and think, "I don't have, I can't have, I wish..." I read and think, "Hey! I could do that!" And I do. Really, the pie in the sky stuff doesn't even phase me, I just click away. And, I don't think it's right that a blogger change their content because readers are having an identity crisis. Blogs are like books, you don't like it? Don't read it.

 

The blogs I read are completely real, the moms just happen to be awesome photographers.

 

Pinterest? Awesome recipes, great knitting links, fantastic ideas on how to make and do stuff.

[MrsBasil]

I like Pinterest, but I know that nothing I pick out will look the picture. That's OK though. I like the recipes, the kids maybe liked the project, hm paint, play dough, or whatever I came up. It's a super easy way to organize BFIAR/FIAR projects I want to do.. And some people can do things that look Pinterest worthy and that's good for them.

 

I do admit I don't look at the house decorating ones. I can't decorate.

[LucyStoner]

For the most part, I don't tend to find blogs about other people's lives very interesting so I guess I don't read them enough to feel envious or whatnot.

 

I have the same opinion about porn as I do about very detailed personal blogging:

 

I'd rather be living my life than watching someone else live theirs.

 

I do read blogs that have a narrow focus around something I like to learn about. Like Gluten Free Goddess. Or certain quality homeschooling blogs. Or humor/political/social commentary blogs. Not "here-is-a-picture-of-every-second-of-my-family-life" blogs. Yawn.

[Runningmom80]

 

 

I'd never heard of Soulemama so I just checked out her blog. On her About SouleMama/FAQ page, I found the following, which speaks exactly to the topic of this post (and I thought she put it beautifully - especially the second paragraph):

 

----------------------------------------

How do you do it all?

I don't. There are many things that I don't do, in order to do the things that I love. I work a lot at night when my children are asleep, and now, with Steve home with all of us during the day, I have dedicated work time. My studio space is fairly organized, so that when I do have time to craft/write, I can get right to it, rather than hunt around for things I need. And because my actual crafting time is so small, I've generally thought about what I'm going to do throughout my day, and when the time comes, I can bust it out. Kind of the less time = more productivity theory. But beyond that - I think it's really about the seemingly small, but time-consuming choices we make. Having a super clean house isn't important to me. Making things is. I'd rather spend an hour in front of my sewing machine than the television. And so forth.

 

Most importantly, please do remember that what you see on a blog is not 'all' of a person's life. For me, my blog is a place of daily peace, a reminder of family joys, and a celebration of creativity. Know that there are as many messes in my house as yours, 'raised voices' from time to time, and frustration and sadness and struggle, too. But for me - this blog space has always been about trying to find and focus on the joys - the everyday beauty and moments of bliss that we have together as a family. It's my hope that it can serve as a reminder and an encouragement to me - and perhaps to you, too - to savor such moments.

 

http://www.soulemama.com

 

I love soule mama! I want to be her a tiny bit. (As evidenced by my recent "would you buy a farmhouse built in the 1700's?" Thread. Lol!)

[G5052]

 

I'd rather be living my life than watching someone else live theirs.

 

 

Yes, I spent half a day today at an event with one of my homeschool heroines. From the outside *so* much has gone *wrong*. She had had loss after loss in her life, much bigger and harder things than the majority of us will ever face. And yet she just quietly keeps going and giving to others. I always go home from being with her and feel encouraged. I don't think the majority of the people she's around have any idea what she's been through. Seeing how even and whole she is always encourages me.

 

Yup, give me real life any day. Knowing someone like that in person means so much.

[unsinkable]

 

 

no, I have no problem with a blogger getting comments from readers on her blog, but I kind of wince at the thought picture of a mommy blogger clicking over, wondering why all the traffic from a homeschooling board and possibly feeling dog-piled on with sharp comments a person wouldn't make to her face. Sometimes people are way more blunt on a message board then they would be on someone's blog or to her face.

 

I wouldn't post on some big income generating mommy blog...because it would just increase her income.

 

But I'd have no problem telling someone IRL the same things I said on this thread.

[I.Dup.]

maybe someone could go back, the posters? and break the links to the blogs that are being discussed. I know that as a blogger, I have site meters and know where traffic is coming from, if they see a lot of clicks, they will probably check the source and might really have their feelings hurt.

 

 

That's why I purposefully did not link to resolved2worship blog. I think someone else did post a link to her blog, though.

 

Also, I have never felt intimidated by Pioneer Woman. Sometimes I get jealous of her money, but she has such a transparent, humble, funny way that I never feel she's trying to one-up anyone, ever. She shares about things that put her in a very vulnerable light (or used to a few years ago, I haven't read her blog in awhile).

[twoxcell]

Funny! Ann Voskamp's blog was the first thing that popped in my head! I never go there and I certainly never read her book.

 

Yes, I sometimes feel a bit forelorn or envious... but usually those kind of blogs make me feel like a failure.

 

I have a blog, but I seriously doubt I make anyone feel any of those things - at least I hope not!

 

 

ETA: I usually steer clear of those types of blogs (Ann Voskamps, A Hen's Life) for that reason. I enjoy reading blogs, but I know the kind that inspire me rather than deflate me.

I have the exact opposite reaction to Ann's blog. I love it, and I find it extremely inspirational. I don't think her life is anymore meaningful than mine I just think she has a gift with words. I'm not gifted in that way. ;)

[6packofun]

I don't consider blogs to be a complete picture of anyone's life. Everyone is trying to BE a certain person, have a certain persona or life or at least appear to! I don't let that stuff get me down, but once in a while I will see a post or article and think, "Man, that is such a good idea and I wish I'd done that with/for my kids while they were younger!" But then I go hang out with my kids for a bit and it's all good. LOL

[NicAnn]

No. One reason is because I know a blogger personally, who has several hundred regular readers. She will often take many staged pictures of her children dong something "candid" because it makes the blog look better.

Blogs are there to inspire, in my opinion. But they aren't real life.

[sewingmama]

All I'm going to say is that on the days I know I'm going to take photos of my kids for the blog are the days I make them get dressed in decent clothes and brush their hair before lessons start lol.

 

Although if you look at my blog you will see them sometimes still in their pyjamas.....if I think they are clean enough or look close enough to daywear LOL.

[ElizabethB]

This will make you feel better:

 

http://pinstrosity.blogspot.com/

[Arcadia]

I have friends who blog for a living. I check their blogs now and than to increase traffic and they get more money. I like reading food blogs though. Blogs dont't evoke any negative feelings for me. A friend kept a blog of her very ill child and that can make me sad. Still I read because I want to know how her child is doing facing the "battle"

[Wheres Toto]

I seriously doubt my blog makes anyone feel jealous or inadequate. A close look will show the mess that I couldn't quite crop out of the pictures, that my kids seem to be wearing the same clothes in pictures taken over the course of a week, and I'm a pretty lousy writer. I can't seem to capture the relaxed, chatty style. I try not to only post the good stuff (we did a pretty bad model of blood a couple weeks ago) but I don't post about the worst of ds's quirks, or wanting to never go out of the house, or the worst struggles because my MIL is a regular reader and I just don't want to go there with her.

[Garga]

I write a pretty funny blog. People tell me constantly that it makes them laugh. Last night's post wasn't funny, but most posts are.

 

Last year I posted a picture and wrote a funny story about it every single day. Every day, if you read my blog, you would find me writing about something funny that happened that day or a funny memory.

 

And no one has a clue that last year I felt more despair in my life than I've ever felt and recently it's been a relief to realize that I'm currently merely depressed and no longer in despair. Things are looking up. :/

 

Blogs are fun, but they only tell a portion of the story.

[Moxie]

Yes. Resolved2worship on xanga. God bless her, but she makes everything look SO perfect (including glamorous pictures of herself in every, single post). Ugh.

 

Holy photoshop, Batman!! I call shenanigans. No one lives like that. That, in no way, makes me jealous.

[Moxie]

maybe someone could go back, the posters? and break the links to the blogs that are being discussed. I know that as a blogger, I have site meters and know where traffic is coming from, if they see a lot of clicks, they will probably check the source and might really have their feelings hurt.

 

I disagree. I think this is important to talk about. These professional bloggers are changing our culture and adding to the "mommy wars". We have no idea how many assistants it took to pull off that "casual" party. We're left with the impression that, it is possible for any Mommy to pull off the perfect party for 500, make all natural homemade clothing for the family (complete with massive hairbow for all the females), or a productive hobby farm that feeds all the homeless, if only we didn't watch that hour of TV. The more we talk about it, the more people will accept that it is all fake. No one lives like that!

[Lady Florida.]

I disagree. I think this is important to talk about. These professional bloggers are changing our culture and adding to the "mommy wars". We have no idea how many assistants it took to pull off that "casual" party. We're left with the impression that, it is possible for any Mommy to pull off the perfect party for 500, make all natural homemade clothing for the family (complete with massive hairbow for all the females), or a productive hobby farm that feeds all the homeless, if only we didn't watch that hour of TV. The more we talk about it, the more people will accept that it is all fake. No one lives like that!

 

 

:hurray:

 

There is nothing at all wrong with getting inspiration from blogs. Thinking less of oneself because of the "amazing" things a mommy blogger does? Wrong. As a PP said, most mommy blogs are like reality tv.

[LNC]

Yes. Resolved2worship on xanga. God bless her, but she makes everything look SO perfect (including glamorous pictures of herself in every, single post). Ugh.

Just googled it. WOW!!! I could never be that creative, talented or energetic, but I respect her gifts a lot! I wonder if it stressful for her to accomplish that level of memory making & homemaking or if it a natural gifting?

 

Eta: she has some really wise words in her posts. Glad I kept reading!

[Moxie]

Just googled it. WOW!!! I could never be that creative, talented or energetic, but I respect her gifts a lot! I wonder if it stressful for her to accomplish that level of memory making & homemaking or if it a natural gifting?

 

It's fake!! Her children are professional models!! It took a team to pull that off, not one creative mom!!

[Tita Gidge]

I don't tend to compare myself to others, so I've not really experienced the issue of a blog making me feel forlorn.

 

I think it's because I feel pretty confident that I'm doing the best I can, with what I have, at this point in my life. I feel secure in my shortcomings.

 

This is a maturation, though; as a youth all I DID was compare myself to others. Damn near drove me to the crazy house.

 

I finally realized and accepted, and even came to prefer, that I couldn't do it all. And that I could continue to try, never succeed, and miss out on everything I was allowing to fly by in my desperate and wasted quest for Ultimate Perfection ... or I could come to appreciate quality over quantity, effort over outcome, and people over ideas of perfection.

 

As I came into a family of my own, the "couldn't do it all" mentality further evolved into a "shouldn't do it all" frame of mind. I shouldn't stress about all the things I could be doing because I have more than enough that I should be doing! The luxury of boredom and free time, that's where the problem rests LOL.

[briansmama]

I love Soulemama! I don't get jealous when I read her blog or others similar- I usually just feel inspired. I do get intimidated by design blogs though, and blogs done by very artsy/crafty people, especially photographers.

[redheadmom]

I love pinterest and reading blogs. I use them for ideas and inspiration. I have 2 blogs of my own. One for my wedding business and the other for my general life. The personal one I just post about ideas and resources that I like. The photos are with my phone and not always in focuses, lol.

 

There are some bigger blogs I dont like because they don't feel genuine. Obviously no one can do it all, but it can easily seem that way online. I really think the reason for the blog influences that a lot. Is it for money? Then of course they want everything to seem perfect.

 

Life is never that simple for me. Something always breaks, kids get sick, life just gets busy. Honestly, blogging can be really exhausting so I hope they get paid well.

[I.Dup.]

It's fake!! Her children are professional models!! It took a team to pull that off, not one creative mom!!

 

I really don't think it's fake. She photographs them in a certain brand of clothing to make some extra money, they aren't "professional" models. She's the photographer for that Hannah Kate clothing line, or whatever it's called. I really think she does all of that. ALL of it.

[DianeW88]

It's fake!! Her children are professional models!! It took a team to pull that off, not one creative mom!!

 

I know more than a few moms like that...right in my neighborhood. I have parties very similar to the one in her blog. I enjoy doing them, and my family loves it, too. I promise it doesn't take a team of people to pull it off...it's much easier than it looks.

 

Some people are just naturally creative and need to express that. One of my goals is to do something creative and personally fulfilling every single day. Today it is working on a cross stitch project. Tomorrow I'm spray painting an old chandelier for my new home office space that I get now, since my dd is getting married and her old room is MINE! Tuesday, I'm refinishing some cool old picture frames for parties and for a project I want to do with burlap so I can put them on my family room wall in a collage. Saturday is a baby shower for a friend of mine, and it will be over the top, because I love doing that.

 

Check out a bunch of other parties that will put the one in that blog to shame at www.karaspartyideas.com And Kara is a real person, and a real mom who lives about an hour from me.

 

Be creative. Embrace it. Strive for excellence in all you do. It's fun!

 

Oh, here are the burlap picture frames. Aren't they easy? Just frame some padded burlap and then you can change what you put inside as often as you want.

 

[I.Dup.]

I know more than a few moms like that...right in my neighborhood. I have parties very similar to the one in her blog. I enjoy doing them, and my family loves it, too. I promise it doesn't take a team of people to pull it off...it's much easier than it looks.

 

Some people are just naturally creative and need to express that. One of my goals is to do something creative and personally fulfilling every single day. Today it is working on a cross stitch project. Tomorrow I'm spray painting an old chandelier for my new home office space that I get now, since my dd is getting married and her old room is MINE! Tuesday, I'm refinishing some cool old picture frames for parties and for a project I want to do with burlap so I can put them on my family room wall in a collage. Saturday is a baby shower for a friend of mine, and it will be over the top, because I love doing that.

 

Check out a bunch of other parties that will put the one in that blog to shame at www.karaspartyideas.com And Kara is a real person, and a real mom who lives about an hour from me.

 

Be creative. Embrace it. Strive for excellence in all you do. It's fun!

 

I totally get this. I would love to make more time to be creative in my daily life. I would LOVE that.

 

What I don't get, is how a mother of 8 under 13 can do these amazingly beautiful homemade parties, run races, have her kids in 3 different sports, take pictures of them at least weekly *completely* gussied up, keep herself a size 2, and on and on. Did I mention she has EIGHT kids under 13 and only the oldest few are in school? THAT is what makes me feel insecure. Surely I am doing something way wrong, and not living life as excellently as she is.

[PachiSusan]

The only blog that makes me forlorn is mine when I forget to do it, or I just can't write what I hear in my head. LOL

[DianeW88]

I totally get this. I would love to make more time to be creative in my daily life. I would LOVE that.

 

What I don't get, is how a mother of 8 under 13 can do these amazingly beautiful homemade parties, run races, have her kids in 3 different sports, take pictures of them at least weekly *completely* gussied up, keep herself a size 2, and on and on. Did I mention she has EIGHT kids under 13 and only the oldest few are in school? THAT is what makes me feel insecure. Surely I am doing something way wrong, and not living life as excellently as she is.

 

I guess she's super organized. I'll ask my friend with 9 kids under the age of 12 how she manages. Oh, three of her kids are 2 year old triplets. :D Some people just have more energy than others, I guess. And need less sleep. My friend regularly stays up until close to 3 A.M. working on projects. Her latest was matching Easter outfits for her whole family. And she organized the neighborhood Easter egg hunt. It's always at her house. She made the fliers and delivered them, too. Good thing she only needs four hours of sleep a night!! LOL

[PachiSusan]

I guess she's super organized. I'll ask my friend with 9 kids under the age of 12 how she manages. Oh, three of her kids are 2 year old triplets. :D Some people just have more energy than others, I guess. And need less sleep. My friend regularly stays up until close to 3 A.M. working on projects. Her latest was matching Easter outfits for her whole family. And she organized the neighborhood Easter egg hunt. It's always at her house. She made the fliers and delivered them, too. Good thing she only needs four hours of sleep a night!! LOL

 

 

He he - sleep is INFINITELY more important to me than all of that^^^^ so I'll never be a power blogger about my life. :rofl:

[I.Dup.]

I guess she's super organized. I'll ask my friend with 9 kids under the age of 12 how she manages. Oh, three of her kids are 2 year old triplets. :D Some people just have more energy than others, I guess. And need less sleep. My friend regularly stays up until close to 3 A.M. working on projects. Her latest was matching Easter outfits for her whole family. And she organized the neighborhood Easter egg hunt. It's always at her house. She made the fliers and delivered them, too. Good thing she only needs four hours of sleep a night!! LOL

 

 

I agree with you. I personally cannot imagine having the energy and motivation to do all of that. I just don't find it worth it in the least bit, and I have to be careful with how much energy I expend on things since I only have a limited amount. Neither of my parents or grandparents were huge over-achievers, although none of them have been lazy (my Dad has his doctorate, my mom has 2 masters, everyone is highly educated, we just don't have tons of energy to expend on things). But to each their own I guess.

[MrsBasil]

OK, I know people who ate that busy, creative, and organized and there are things they don't do.

 

Like: watch TV unless they are also folding laundry or clipping/organizing coupons and that is scheduled, so 1hour to have a show on while laundry is done and 1 hour another night for couponing.

 

Message boards

 

Surf the Internet daily. They maybe hit Pinterest or blogs or a favorite site once a week if there work is done, they are searching for ideas for a specific project, or they are sick.

 

Teach their kids to handle a fair workload and enforce that. That was their first major project. ;)

 

Facebook, one shares pics and updates of her kids sports achievements because dad works out of town and checks group specific pages of organizations they are part of, but few regular status updates or chat groups.

 

Are organized, so craft supplies, cooking ingredients, clothes are easy to find, use, put away. No clutter there.

 

Their kids, or the majority of their kids, are past the 2 year old mark.

 

Know how to say no, set limits for themselves, and aren't doing everything under the sun. They pick the projects or endeavors that are worth it to them.

 

If they homeschool, they stop researching methods and curriculum once the year has started. If they need specific ideas that's different, but if things ate rolling alng then they'll do the book/unit/guide and go to the next year. They don't fix what isn't broken.

 

They enjoy what they are doing, they aren't feeling overwhelmed by all they do.

 

[*Michelle*]

If I ever did feel bad about internet perfection, one simple search of "pinterest nailed it" in Google Images would quickly drive the bad feelings away. Would you like to see some of my favorites?

 

http://www.buzzfeed.com/newu1085/17-pinterest-fails-654m

[I.Dup.]

OK, I know people who ate that busy, creative, and organized and there are things they don't do.

 

Like: watch TV unless they are also folding laundry or clipping/organizing coupons and that is scheduled, so 1hour to have a show on while laundry is done and 1 hour another night for couponing.

 

Message boards

 

Surf the Internet daily. They maybe hit Pinterest or blogs or a favorite site once a week if there work is done, they are searching for ideas for a specific project, or they are sick.

 

Teach their kids to handle a fair workload and enforce that. That was their first major project. ;)

 

Facebook, one shares pics and updates of her kids sports achievements because dad works out of town and checks group specific pages of organizations they are part of, but few regular status updates or chat groups.

 

Are organized, so craft supplies, cooking ingredients, clothes are easy to find, use, put away. No clutter there.

 

Their kids, or the majority of their kids, are past the 2 year old mark.

 

Know how to say no, set limits for themselves, and aren't doing everything under the sun. They pick the projects or endeavors that are worth it to them.

 

If they homeschool, they stop researching methods and curriculum once the year has started. If they need specific ideas that's different, but if things ate rolling alng then they'll do the book/unit/guide and go to the next year. They don't fix what isn't broken.

 

They enjoy what they are doing, they aren't feeling overwhelmed by all they do.

 

 

I wish I was more like this! I wish I had more motivation for things like this! I just..don't. lol

[MrsBasil]

By the way, I don't do that. I get about 4 hours of sleep and I'm lucky to keep the house in OK condition, get them fed, do a few hours of paid work, and do some fun playful thing with my kids.

[Tita Gidge]

I totally get this. I would love to make more time to be creative in my daily life. I would LOVE that.

 

What I don't get, is how a mother of 8 under 13 can do these amazingly beautiful homemade parties, run races, have her kids in 3 different sports, take pictures of them at least weekly *completely* gussied up, keep herself a size 2, and on and on. Did I mention she has EIGHT kids under 13 and only the oldest few are in school? THAT is what makes me feel insecure. Surely I am doing something way wrong, and not living life as excellently as she is.

 

 

Surely you are not!

 

Look, I don't know who this lady is but what you've described above is my sister. She's extremely type A. She's creative and having kids gave her a limitless field upon which to play (birthdays, school days, clothing, hairbows, felted wool toys and all of that crap). She has a knack for these things, and it's the thrill of learning a new skill and then embracing it head on and going crazy with it that keeps her going. Quite literally, keeps her going; it fuels her in a way that would thoroughly exhaust me. I get tired just hearing her IDEAS. And she has a million of them, half of which will see fruition. She's a born planner/organizer and excellent time manager. She can multitask like nobody's business, and this skill allows her to do things like plan parties while homeschooling and working. Her brain never stops. Mine takes frequent breaks, and the most I can multitask is to think type in close time proximity to one another LOL. We're just born with different skills and strengths, hers no better than mine.

 

She has seven kids but has never even worn maternity clothes. She's never needed to. We're naturally petite and one never knows she's pregnant from behind because all of her weight is in her teeny pregnant belly. (This is another way in which we differ LOL) That's just genetics, and is completely unrelated to anything she does (or doesn't do) in terms of health or diet. Our mom spent 24 years either pregnant, nursing, or both. She never saw a doctor so we can't be sure but she's 80 lbs now and I bet she never hit higher than 100 for any of her pregnancies. That said, my good friend looks great but has had lipo. Many of the moms in our circle are on the R-diet. Who knows what others are doing to look the way they do, you know? You can't know, so it's not a fair comparison to make against yourself.

 

Our kids are in several sports, and that's where delegation comes in. If we didn't live so close to each other AND to our extended family, our kids would have to limit their sports. Delegation is also key to large families. I really do think it's hardest to have between two and four kids. One would have its challenges, too, but once you hit five ... delegation becomes a necessary part of life. She can find the time to take and edit pictures because she's delegated lunch making to one of her kids, for example. Snippets of time to a great ultitasker are like weeks of alone time for someone like me. I get a fifteen minute lull in my day and I spend 11 of those enjoying it and trying to figure out how to spend it LOL. Then four minutes wishing I had spent more time doing, than planning it! Different skills, different strengths, hers no better than mine.

 

Most people don't know my sister suffers from anxiety and adrenal fatigue, no doubt related to her lifestyle and natural tendencies. It's not something she shares, but I know people think she has a charmed and easy life without knowing the full picture. I don't doubt the same is true for many people, most especially those we think make it all look so easy. There's always a price, and not all of us are privy to seeing it.

 

My mom was a lot like my sister. My mom was/is awesome, and my sister is a lot like her. But I would've been just as happy with the mom who only ever read to us in bed - minus the premediated fun and parties and such. I didn't need the other stuff. Not all kids do. I'd have been happy to have a "good enough" mom that loved me and loved herself. The rest is gravy.

 

I bet I'm not the only kid who feels this way ;)

[I.Dup.]

 

Surely you are not!

 

Look, I don't know who this lady is but what you've described above is my sister. She's extremely type A. She's creative and having kids gave her a limitless field upon which to play (birthdays, school days, clothing, hairbows, felted wool toys and all of that crap). She has a knack for these things, and it's the thrill of learning a new skill and then embracing it head on and going crazy with it that keeps her going. Quite literally, keeps her going; it fuels her in a way that would thoroughly exhaust me. I get tired just hearing her IDEAS. And she has a million of them, half of which will see fruition. She's a born planner/organizer and excellent time manager. She can multitask like nobody's business, and this skill allows her to do things like plan parties while homeschooling and working. Her brain never stops. Mine takes frequent breaks, and the most I can multitask is to think type in close time proximity to one another LOL. We're just born with different skills and strengths, hers no better than mine.

 

She has seven kids but has never even worn maternity clothes. She's never needed to. We're naturally petite and one never knows she's pregnant from behind because all of her weight is in her teeny pregnant belly. (This is another way in which we differ LOL) That's just genetics, and is completely unrelated to anything she does (or doesn't do) in terms of health or diet. Our mom spent 24 years either pregnant, nursing, or both. She never saw a doctor so we can't be sure but she's 80 lbs now and I bet she never hit higher than 100 for any of her pregnancies. That said, my good friend looks great but has had lipo. Many of the moms in our circle are on the R-diet. Who knows what others are doing to look the way they do, you know? You can't know, so it's not a fair comparison to make against yourself.

 

Our kids are in several sports, and that's where delegation comes in. If we didn't live so close to each other AND to our extended family, our kids would have to limit their sports. Delegation is also key to large families. I really do think it's hardest to have between two and four kids. One would have its challenges, too, but once you hit five ... delegation becomes a necessary part of life. She can find the time to take and edit pictures because she's delegated lunch making to one of her kids, for example. Snippets of time to a great ultitasker are like weeks of alone time for someone like me. I get a fifteen minute lull in my day and I spend 11 of those enjoying it and trying to figure out how to spend it LOL. Then four minutes wishing I had spent more time doing, than planning it! Different skills, different strengths, hers no better than mine.

 

Most people don't know my sister suffers from anxiety and adrenal fatigue, no doubt related to her lifestyle and natural tendencies. It's not something she shares, but I know people think she has a charmed and easy life without knowing the full picture. I don't doubt the same is true for many people, most especially those we think make it all look so easy. There's always a price, and not all of us are privy to seeing it.

 

My mom was a lot like my sister. My mom was/is awesome, and my sister is a lot like her. But I would've been just as happy with the mom who only ever read to us in bed - minus the premediated fun and parties and such. I didn't need the other stuff. Not all kids do. I'd have been happy to have a "good enough" mom that loved me and loved herself. The rest is gravy.

 

I bet I'm not the only kid who feels this way ;)

 

 

Thank you for sharing this. :)

[Wheres Toto]

My kids would never cooperate with taking beautiful pictures like that. My son is usually ducking his head or making a funny face, unless he is asking me to take the picture with his latest Pokemon or one of his favorite stuffed animals. My oldest hates having her picture taken now, and my youngest strikes a pose every time. Usually one involving one hand behind her head and one leg stuck to the side. Forget ever getting a decent picture of them together.

 

I guess some of it does come down to priorities. Beautiful pictures of an elaborate beautifully decorated party are definitely not things that are worth the effort to me. I definitely am not an energetic person and 4 hours of sleep would have me dozing in a chair all day.

[NorthwestMom]

What is the R diet?

[musicianmom]

Back when one of my RL friends was blogging, I used to get kind of down on myself after reading her posts. The thing was, I knew it was for real. Plus, she and I have a lot of similarities, so her life and homeschool are a lot like I had envisioned mine being, before reality hit. But I haven't managed to accomplish what she has, and it's my own fault.

[Hen]

I totally get this. I would love to make more time to be creative in my daily life. I would LOVE that.

 

What I don't get, is how a mother of 8 under 13 can do these amazingly beautiful homemade parties, run races, have her kids in 3 different sports, take pictures of them at least weekly *completely* gussied up, keep herself a size 2, and on and on. Did I mention she has EIGHT kids under 13 and only the oldest few are in school? THAT is what makes me feel insecure. Surely I am doing something way wrong, and not living life as excellently as she is.

 

 

once I tuned in to Oprah - and I don't watch daytime t.v.- just way too busy for any of that, but I heard a blurb or saw something online that a beautiful mom of something like 8 kids was going to talk about how she manages to stay very fit- so I was curious and I watched. She was beautiful, nice...but listening to the segment and picking up clues, I realized she had at least one nanny and they had a very professional full gym in the basement of their large, beautiful home. -It didn't make me mad, but it was kind of an aha moment, that yeah, she could work out everyday because she had a nanny to feed and get the kids ready for school while she simply walked downstairs to her gym. It didn't make me hate her or anything, it just made me realize that it was kind of unrealistic to feel bad that I didn't look like her or have that sort of time, because her life was just set up very different. I do wish though, that the segment or Oprah would have been upfront about the reality, I do think it set up a straw-women that we had to feel inadequate next to.

 

anyways, I've never read the blog that is being brought up, but I would guess she probably has help if she can pull off all that entertaining and craftiness, fitness etc.

[Jean in Newcastle]

On the one with the Easter party, she said that she worked on it everyday for months. If it was that important to me, I could see being able to pull something off like that if I worked for that long and systematically at it. Personally, it isn't my thing - a combination of personality, ability, circumstances and what I personally value. But I don't think it is wrong if someone else has the personality, ability etc. to do that sort of thing.

[Tita Gidge]

What is the R diet?

 

The "Ritalin Diet" is common where I live.

 

Moms get ritalin prescriptions for their children, but take the ritalin themselves for weight loss.

[Janie Grace]

 

The "Ritalin Diet" is common where I live.

 

Moms get ritalin prescriptions for their children, but take the ritalin themselves for weight loss.

 

Wow. I have never heard of that. Yuck.

[NorthwestMom]

 

The "Ritalin Diet" is common where I live.

 

Moms get ritalin prescriptions for their children, but take the ritalin themselves for weight loss.

 

 

:eek:

 

That blows my mind. Gosh, I wonder why we have such a prescription drug problem in this country when even mothers are taking their kids' pills? :willy_nilly: