Are you the odd one out?

[momto2Cs]

I live in a homeshool friendly area, but find more and more lately that we are the odd ones out because we don't unschool. In fact, we're getting more classically oriented as we go along.

 

What makes you different/unique in your homeschooling community?

[dbmamaz]

we are square pegs in every single dimension as far as i can tell. most of the totally secular homeschoolers seem to be radical unschoolers or else totally busy with coops. most of the homeschoolers I seem to get along with the best are catholic? My kids are 2E so they are more academically oriented than a lot of ppl i run in to, but cant do the written output of the ppl on this board. i'm homeschooling a teen with no outside classes (unheard of) but dont plan to homeschool my younger through high school. I cant wait to get back to work - havent met ANY other homeschoolers like that. oh, and i let my kids play video games but still have structured school time and assignments . . . i'm totally comfortable teaching high school math and science . . . my younger one is advanced in math and kinda going free-style ..

 

every single one of those things seems to mark us as different.

 

but its nothing new . . in my entire life i have never found someone 'just like me' or lived in a place where I felt like i fully belonged. so its not about homeschooling.

[Clarkd]

Yes, I'm pretty sure we fit the different family in the hs neighborhood category. Here's a short list.

Secular focus

Latino children

2 lesbian moms who both work full time

Both work at University

Both over 40

I was previously a public school teacher

4 children (larger family)

[aggieamy]

We don't fit the classical homeschooler mold either. We're yuppies with one child - complete with a beige Volvo and love of sweater sets. Our hippie friends seem to accept us anyway though.

[mamamindy]

It doesn't take much to be the odd one out in the town I live in. Elsewhere, I wasn't so strange. Here, I stick out like a sore thumb. (Living a totally "normal" lifestyle, IMO.) ;)

 

ETA: Oh, how am I unique in my homeschooling community? Well, there's not much of a homeschooling community here, really. And the community that does exist is largely religious. (I am Christian, but not religious. There is a difference.) We really just don't fit into our community, so that would include our homeschool community as well.

[Mom2TheTeam]

I'd have to be a joiner to feel like the odd one out. :p

We've done a few co-op events and they've taken a co-op summer class, but we never really connected. The co-op is on the other side of town making it a 40+ minute drive, so unless its a really great class that we can't do without, we usually do.

I did go to a neighbor's lunch that had a bunch of homeschoolers and they were mostly unschoolers and online charter schoolers. It was just before my first year, so I mostly just listened.

 

LOL! This is so us! We've never done any co-ops or anything outside the house connected to our HS'ing. My kids are in AWANA and we go to church and that's it.

 

I am trying to get connected a little more, but still not wanting to join any co-ops, just make some friends.

 

We are the odd one out because we have so many littles. Many people have 6 kids. Very few have them so close in age because of our twins. It is different. It is one of the biggest reasons we don't do anythign outside the house. It seems that we are odd because we don't do co-ops and I'm not interested in doing any. Also, I have yet to meet anyone else who uses a boxed curriculum. We use MFW. Most people I meet (which isn't many ;)) use A Beka and piece things together rather than buying a boxed curriculum like we do.

[WTMCassandra]

Oh yes, I am definitely the odd one out. Many people here unschool or do textbooks. I am considered WAY over the top doing Latin AND Greek. My boardie friend that I also clicked with IRL moved away a few months ago, so it's back to me, myself, and I. A few friends are starting to move toward a more classical homeschool, but not many.

[G5052]

Yup. Still homeschooling teens. Most of our friends are sending them to the classroom by then. And we're demanding considerably *more* than the norm.

 

And I've always worked and homeschooled.

 

That's us.

[regentrude]

I am totally the odd one out. I homeschool for academic reasons, gasp. Not because the institution school is evil, or because I want to teach my kids a particular religion. Sometimes I am feeling rather lonely among the unschoolers in our local group.

My kids actually thrive on rigorous, structured academics.

[Dahliarw]

Yup, totally. And maybe it's just that I live outside the basic suburbs so more options are a long drive for us.

 

I'm religious, conservative, but don't think that it's sinful to send your child to PS if that works for your family. So that eliminates about half the homeschool groups in my area right there. Plus some have some really icky theology behind them I can't get behind.

I send 2 of my kids to Montessori school right now and homeschool one. Next year I'll be homeschooling 2 and have one in Montessori school. A lot of people are "all or nothing" when it comes to homeschool, the hybrid of some home and some not is unusual. This stance alienates me from both religious and secular homeschoolers!

I homeschool classically, and do believe that there are certain goals my children should meet, so that alienates me from the total unschoolers/loose homeschooling that is very common here.

We take vacations during the school year, so joining a hs group with attendence requirements just don't work. There are some coops that sound great, but their policies about being there for your volunteer jobs are rediculous. I'd be kicked out by Christmas most likely just from sick days - I have 3 kids, they get sick at different times!

 

So, yeah, I don't know anyone homeschooling kids my ages that meshes with my beliefs, other than my sister and a few other women I've met through her that all live at least an hour away. I really don't have many (any?) mommy friends I see regularly, outside of church.

And no one else at my church is hsing kids of similar age, they all go to public or private school.

[Forgiven]

I feel like the oddball amongst other HSers in my area because I do work full time so I can't join a lot of the things other HSers are doing. I have joined a HS Group, but actually can't stand it. We still go because we've made some friends, but I hate doing all the "joiner" stuff like the History Fair or the Science Fair. I thought they'd be fun things that would give my kids experience, but the projects some of these kids are doing are all done with help from their parents. Some parents even get up with their kids and then "feed" the words for the kids to say when they present and it just irks me. My kids get up and either sink or swim. So their projects are usually done at a lower level than others because, well, I don't help. So I feel like the sore thumb in those situations because my kids' projects are at their level, not an adult level. There are a few like us who let the kids do their own work, but we're a small group. :(

 

So we can't do much outside our home, which is fine, but what we can do is disappointing. I like to stay home and be finished by lunch time. There is so much for other people to do. I have a friend who is so involved with outside HS groups and events that they are so behind in the basics (Reading, Writing, and math). To each their own, but because I can't join in (not that I think I'd want to) I miss out on all the stuff that my other HS friends all talk about. But I'm also finding that a lot of the stuff these other HSers are doing can be done at home. Like dissections. I hear a lot about how they dissected this and that at their coop (something we can't do due to my working full time). I found dissection kits online and we're going to be doing a lot of dissecting this summer. So we can do this stuff. I just need to find ways for us to do it at home without the help of a coop...

 

So yeah, we're odd where we live, but I think we like it. :)

[sewingmama]

We are odd because

 

We school secular

We are LDS

We only have 3 kids

We have boys (most HS kids here are girls)

We do schoolwork as opposed to "natural learning"

I have no issues with the public school system

My DH is a school principal

We eat junk food...as opposed to gluten free, paleo, straight off the farm

I take my kids to the doctor when they are sick and don't try natural medicine first

I don't like gardening or want to raise my own chickens...x 10

 

 

Luckily for me my homeschool group is tolerant and gives me no grief and are lovely ladies....but I spend a lot of time just listening as most of the conversations steer towards how evil the public school system is and how children are better off at home even if they never learn to read properly.

[Walking-Iris]

Definitely the odd one out.

 

I'm a recovering Christian. I come from that tradition and still believe (most of it---not all)but not publicly. I don't (and won't!!) attend any church. I've been through RCIA and I have also had believer's baptism---in college (and i feel like I had lost my mind during that time! ) and my dh's a Hindu (Don't ask! LOL)

 

I would classify myself as classically liberal. Right wing stuff is too extreme for me, liberal left is too extreme for me, and moderates just seem indecisive and flighty.

 

I'm a theistic evolutionist. And yet I tend to think both sides are nuts. YEC drives me batty and I'm surrounded with it, atheistic evolution drives me batty and I'm sort of surrounded by that as well.

 

I'm not a Susie Homemaker and have no desire to be one. I'm somewhat irreverant and sarcastic about it all. I'm definitely a militant feminist and yet i feel that women are nuts for not exclusively breastfeeding or cosleeping etc. And yet i do not worship my children or put childhood on a pedestal. I'm definitely selfish.

 

I like Ayn Rand (a lot!!!) which is sort of a mortal sin among most of my friends.

 

I care about the environment and the world and yet still---that whole irreverant humor thing in my personality. :)

 

Yuppies or whatever Suburbanite people make me want to barf, and yet so do hardcore hippie types.

 

I'm eclectic and I doubt unschoolers would like me, or strict homeschoolers, but I'm a good chameleon unless I would be forced to be hypocritical to myself, so i get along well enough.

 

I don't circumcise, vaccinate, use formula, or use cribs. I think pacifiers are disgusting and do not advocate spanking or CIO, and yet i'm no pushover either. So in effect I'm probably too much a disciplinarium for some, too soft for others.

 

My entire family are vegetarians and yet I think most popular health conscious diets these days are silly.

 

I'll watch Sex in the City with a kid in the room but Walking Dead is out of bounds. LOL.

 

I don't know I could go on--but yes i'm very much the odd one out, and yet I usually keep this to myself!!! ;)

[Sahamamama]

It's hard to know, exactly, but my guess is that I have no idea how odd I really am. :D

[Soror]

I'm the only Catholic Hs'er in the county. We do school more for academic reasons as well, although our schooling would be seen as laid back to some as most of what other people do I consider to be busy work, while we push hard in skill work. I don't do preschool, or boxed all-in-one curriculum, or religious curriculum. I'm not a YE'er. It seems that either people hardly school or they just use all Abeka or such. However, usually there isn't much talk about actual schooling at our informal gatherings so it works.

[Guest]

I am odd in my area because I only have two kids.

 

I am odd because we have a hard time getting school done before noon. I'm odd because I ask people to come over in the late afternoon, so we can get our school done in the morning and early afternoon.

 

It doesn't sound odd when I write it, but man, some people sure have a way of making me feel weird!

[fraidycat]

I don't feel that I'm the odd one out, however, I get the impression that our "group" may be odd.

 

When we get together for park day/social time, us Moms rarely even talk about homeschool unless we are asking for suggestions with a particular subject and then it's about 5 or 10 minutes out of a 2 hour meet-up. We are just friends. We talk about marriage, life, vacations, exchange recipes, health issues in ourselves or our families, how do we get the kids to do chores, where we grew up, etc. Some school through and umbrella school, some are completely independent, and some use mostly online or DVDs with very little parental involvement. Yet, we all get along, look forward to our adult social time at the park, and just generally *live and let live*. Five of us went on Mom's Night Out a couple months ago. We booked a two bedroom hotel suite and had a blast!

 

It is my dearest wish that each and every one of you could find that same type of support group. :grouphug:

[dbmamaz]

i've actually noticed that the people i spend time with talk less and less about curriculum. we do occasionally. but LOVE talking curriculum! my radical unschooler people used to let their kids stay up all night playing video games so we couldnt really hang out . . or they would criticize us for being busy with school work. but i do have a lot of homeschooling friends now - i'm thinking of organizing a weekly or biweekly day at the river this summer, and maybe a video game afternoon as well . . .

[bobbeym]

We're odd because:

 

I work full-time; DH is the one home overseeing the kids.

DH doesn't drive. We rely on rides from other HS-ers for DS to join daytime functions.

We follow an eclectic approach. Most everyone else uses a more classical approach.

I refuse to teach Latin, don't push college prep, don't outsource, and don't do co-ops.

 

I'm blessed in that I have a small core of HS moms that lovingly embrace us despite our oddities.

[bobbeym]

We're odd because:

 

I work full-time; DH is the one home overseeing the kids.

DH doesn't drive. We rely on rides from other HS-ers for DS to join daytime functions.

We follow an eclectic approach. Most everyone else uses a more classical approach.

I refuse to teach Latin, don't push college prep, don't outsource, and don't do co-ops.

 

I'm blessed in that I have a small core of HS moms that lovingly embrace us despite our oddities.

[linders]

I can relate. Most of our homeschool friends have either returned to school, gone to online school, or just do very little actual school.

[momto2Cs]

I don't feel that I'm the odd one out, however, I get the impression that our "group" may be odd.

 

When we get together for park day/social time, us Moms rarely even talk about homeschool unless we are asking for suggestions with a particular subject and then it's about 5 or 10 minutes out of a 2 hour meet-up. We are just friends. We talk about marriage, life, vacations, exchange recipes, health issues in ourselves or our families, how do we get the kids to do chores, where we grew up, etc. Some school through and umbrella school, some are completely independent, and some use mostly online or DVDs with very little parental involvement. Yet, we all get along, look forward to our adult social time at the park, and just generally *live and let live*. Five of us went on Mom's Night Out a couple months ago. We booked a two bedroom hotel suite and had a blast!

 

It is my dearest wish that each and every one of you could find that same type of support group. :grouphug:

 

My Friday park day group is like this, and I love it. Occasionally though, homeschooling stuff comes up and then yes, I am the strange one in that we sit down and EDUCATE, with a plan, on a regular basis. Their version of the homeschooling stuff that does come up is usually related to making unschooling samples work for one of the local charter schools (we don't use any outside organization anymore either).

 

I also work part-time outside the home, always have, and will always have to. I'm also in college, working on my MA, so I don't have nearly the time some of them do, though yes, they are all busy in their own ways!

[Heidi]

I'm odd because I don't school from a box.

[Chrysalis Academy]

Yep, I'm odd, although I'd be odd even if I wasn't homeschooling. I'm odd among homeschoolers because I don't unschool, I'm odd to a lot of the richie rich yuppies around here because I don't have my kids signed up for 4 or 5 extracurriculars and I'm not trying to figure out how to get my 6 yo into Stanford, I'm odd to the townies because we really care about academics and we don't do organized sports. We're odd to the conservatives because we're liberal, odd to the religious because we're atheist, odd to the granola-crunching hippie unschoolers because we eat meat and do math every day.

 

I can live with it. ;)

[Ellie]

I was always the odd man out, because we were closer to unschoolers and most of my hs friends were more traditional just-like-school. When we moved to another part of the state, we were the odd man out because my dc were almost always the oldest in the group.

[Guest ashnic8504]

I am the odd one out in a very homeschool friendly city because of how unbelievably shy I am around new people. I signed my son up for a P.E. class specifically for homeschoolers, and I've yet to actually speak more than a few sentences to another mom. I feel so horrible about it because my son doesn't have any friends! I also happen to be the youngest mom in the class. We do know one family (through my husband's job) that homeschools, but they are an extremely religious family. We aren't...at all. :(

[Spy Car]

How do you think it feels to be a non-conservative, non-religious, non-homeschooling, non-woman? :D

 

Bill

[Dmmetler]

In my area, you're either a conservative Christian using one of several academic options (Classical Conversations, Abeka, BJU) almost entirely, or you're a secular unschooler. Both treat math like a necessary evil.

 

I'm a secular, largely classical homeschooler with a STEM-focused kid who LOVES math (and snakes-something the former group often consider outright evil). I'm Christian, but that really doesn't play into my homeschooling.

 

So, we attend a mostly unschooling/relaxed secular HS group for field trips and social stuff (much of which is at a UU church), and do our academics at home and the occasional weekend workshop or online. We skip tutorials and academic co-ops.

[Five More Minutes]

I'm an odd one out. I don't school from a box; we homeschool for academic reasons; we are structured and systematic in our learning (and we think it's fun!); I don't see the public education system as a Great Evil; and although I'm a Christian, I accept evolution.

 

That said, the homeschoolers I'm around probably all feel like they're the odd ones out in some ways, so we get along well and I'm grateful for our group!

[Maela]

Yes I feel like the odd one out all the time!

 

We are not Christian (or any other mainstream "acceptable" religion.). So far no one's asked what church we go to, but I know it's coming. I'm afraid my kids might lose some friend opportunities when that happens. :-(

We (dh and i) are not republican.

We're not completely liberal because we have some libertarian leanings.

We only have two kids (and not planning to have more!).

We don't want a huge SUV or van.

I'm not into crafty projects (unless they're useful - like sewing curtains). I'm really not into making a lot of crafts for homeschooling.

Dd is very advanced in reading so I can't join in any of those conversations with the other kindy moms at our homeschool charter. And when I'm asked what reading ' program' we're using, I think it sounds snobby to tell them the books M is reading on her own and then writing about.

I'm a huge introvert.

 

 

One thing that helps me to feel a part of the group is that we garden. Most of our backyard is a vegetable garden, and we have a grapevine, strawberry patch, raspberries and blueberries, and a few fruit trees. A lot of the other moms have gardens too.

 

[elegantlion]

We've always been odd, fit in at certain times, now not so much. I'm over 40 and don't care, ds is his own man and doesn't care. We like each other though.

[daijobu]

Waldorf is HUGE in my area. Everyone and their uncle is doing some sort of Waldorf education.

 

We are odd because we just don't like fairies.

[rutamattatt]

I feel like the odd one out in the home school circle here because I don't try to schedule stuff every single day of the week. We sit down most days at desks and do work. I don't do field trips every week. I don't like getting together with other home schoolers we know to do group activities, but our middle son goes to a more formal co-op setting one day a week. I have older children than most I know. My daughter is special needs, ESL, etc. etc. I have been criticized more often than I can count for being no fun, too rigorous, etc. etc. but honestly we have a ton of fun together!

[Jilly]

I have always felt like the odd one out. I am a single parent, and in the homeschool world that is very rare. I am also a very liberal Christian. That has also made me feel a little odd. I don't mind though. :D

[Maela]

I signed my son up for a P.E. class specifically for homeschoolers, and I've yet to actually speak more than a few sentences to another mom. I feel so horrible about it because my son doesn't have any friends! I also happen to be the youngest mom in the class. We do know one family (through my husband's job) that homeschools, but they are an extremely religious family. We aren't...at all. :(

I can definitely relate to this! I've had to push myself to be more outgoing this year. Still it hasn't helped much. I'd really like to help my dd make a good friend whose parents don't mind that we're not Christian and who live fairly close to us (almost all the families live at least 30 minutes from us).

[weederberries]

Golly, reading this, I feel a lot more "normal!" ;)

 

I'm odd here because:

we don't do co-ops.

We start our year in Jan.

We travel abroad in the fall and I totally count that as school.

 

It gives us lots to talk about with other homeschoolers, but it means we can't (but don't really want to) participate in typical homeschool activities.

[Mukmuk]

Completely odd but this could be changing.

 

I have a very asynchronous kid who is around 8 grade levels apart in terms of ability. At least this was true till recently. The bottom half of his abilities is catching up to grade level, yay! And he's now more tolerant of school work (like longer attention span and being told what to do). I now search more on the general education board for subjects that y'all are so familiar with, but I'd never thought of as being possible to do with ds, like grammar, and now maybe history. So I'm coming in closer to the mainstream. Being different/same doesnt faze me, although i learnt to shut up IRL cos few people understand- thats been purely circumstantial. I am however, very excited about what's ahead, mainstream or odd. :)

[claluck]

This is interesting to read. I am odd just cause I homeschool. There are only 3 other families in our county that I know who homeschool. One I have no clue what they do (maybe unschooling) but their kids certainly have nothing close to the rigor we do so we don't even try talking curriculum or homeschool even though we live 2 blocks away from each other (kids aren't really the same age either). Another lives 20 miles out of town and I love them and we have VERY similar styles and like to bounce ideas occasionally but rarely talk homeschool. We are just good friends, and I am pretty sure the other family has no clue we homeschool, especially after she walked up to my previously mentioned friend and I chatting at an even on Friday and asked HER how homeschooling was going without even acknowledging me.

 

Among my friends I am totally weird. I don't answer the phone or go anywhere til around 2pm when my kids are done homeschoolingI. I am also a split HS family with 3 in PS and 2 at home. My husband works as a speech pathologist at the school, my mother in law who lives one block away works as a special education and science teacher at the middle school, and my sister in law who lives with them is a first grade teacher. I plan to homeschool all the way through which most people seem to think is crazy. And I am not terrified of the highschool years.. though I am not there yet so we will see but I am kind of excited about all those deeper learning subjects.

 

Christina

[twoxcell]

Yes I have run into this at a local co-op. I remember specifically one lady asking me what we do for school. When I told her, her eyes got big and she said, "Wow you do a lot. I have been thinking I should start teaching my dd some math soon." Her daughter was about 7-8 at that time. I was constantly getting comments from other moms telling me they couldn't believe how much US history my ds new. :001_unsure:

 

I'm also the odd one out among the swim team parents. The majority of them seem to only have like 1-2 kids, send their kids to PS, and have quite a bit more money than we do. I have always been a bit odd among other moms because of my age. I had my oldest when I was 19.

[twoxcell]

How do you think it feels to be a non-conservative, non-religious, non-homeschooling, non-woman? :D

 

Bill

 

Bill you are definitely the odd MAN out. :lol:

[Momling]

What makes us weird is that we are somewhat conservative educationally (I.e. classical) and rigorous and traditional in our religious practices in a very unschooling crunchy kind of town. But compared to the conservative Christian homeschoolers in nearby towns, we're much more liberal and secular (and lesbians!). So, I don't think we can win.

[delaney]

Hmmmm....Most of the homeschoolers in the area are religious so that makes me the odd man out. Even more strangely I am drawn to CC for my younger dd in the fall and that has a religious base but I found a liberal campus.

[Mommy22alyns]

I "only" have 2 kids. But luckily I met a fellow homeschooler through Sylvia's choir, and she "only" has 2 as well! I know there are plenty of other things that make me "odd," but whatever. I like Adam Lambert and am a huge baseball nut, and I watch trashy TV (though not with the girls). Just a few examples!

[laundrycrisis]

There are quite a few things, but the biggest one seems to be that the way I homeschool is much more structured than most of the people I know, and I am protective of our school time. The second biggest is that we are not a religious family - but it's pretty easy for me to just avoid situations where that would come up.

[Hoot]

We seem to be odd in that we don't have some time sucking outing, activity, or sport planned every. single. day. We really do spend the majority of our time at home. It also seems strange to most homeschoolers I know that we have only one child.

[whitestavern]

Most people I've met in our area tend to be ultra conservative and religious or earthy crunch unschooler types. We fall in the middle and find it difficult to fit in.

[Mom0012]

Let's just say that if I could find an inclusive group, who had a focus on academics, I would be thrilled.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I am totally the odd one out. I homeschool for academic reasons, gasp. Not because the institution school is evil, or because I want to teach my kids a particular religion. Sometimes I am feeling rather lonely among the unschoolers in our local group.

My kids actually thrive on rigorous, structured academics.

What she said.

[Koerarmoca]

Before our move we were the only non-catholics in our group. It was a great group though and I miss it. I have not found a new group yet.

[ocelotmom]

I can barely even find the homeschoolers around here. There's supposedly a bunch. I've heard of an SoF Christian group, and I believe there's a group of Virtual Academy users who do a lot together, but as we're neither, that doesn't really help. And, in general, everyone seems to busy with school and outside activities to have much interest in park days and such.

 

So I guess that makes us oddballs :)