Teens don't look forward to getting a driver's license anymore...and parents don't seem to want them to.

[Punks in Ontario]

My dd27 still doesn't drive due to impulsivity and anxiety issues. This is likely a good thing. We've put her through 2 rounds of Driver's Ed. and spent hours teaching her. I'm disappointed that she will likely always have to live where she has public transportation, but the roads are likely safer this way.

 

The next guy is hoping to have his licence in the spring and is ready for it. Ds15 is chomping at the bit for his. I have no worries about either guy's competence. They will pay their own insurance, but we'll likely get a second vehicle for them. Both currently work.

 

I'm also looking forward to not having to chauffeur them to and from work all winter. In the summer they can bike.

[Joker]

I want my kids to get their permits and license as soon as they are able, but they won't be driving off on their own just because they have it. I want them to get the license as soon as they can so they can have lots of driving time with dh and I before they're on their own. I grew up in the middle of nowhere and we were all driving all over our own land by the age of 14. We were ready to drive on our own at 16 and didn't have any problems. Obviously, I can't do the same for my dds but I don't want them to wait until 18 or older to get behind the wheel of a car. I think they need all the practice they can get so they're comfortable.

[Girl Power]

Eh, to each their own, no? Children are individuals and I think parents are the best judge as to whether to delay driving, be it maturity, expense, etc, without being seen as coddling. I'm not one for blanket statements and assumptions though . . .

 

Beck

[FaithManor]

It's all about costs at our house.

 

The local schools are not required to offer driver's training to homeschoolers. We have to go through a private driving school and it's about $500.00 and having to commute them 45 min. each way to the driving academy.

 

To add a student under 18 to our car insurance policy costs $3000.00 per year. To add an 18 year old is only 1200.00 per year. Additionally, once they turn 18 they can get take their written test, get a permit, drive for 30 days, and then pay to take the driving test. It is simple.

 

We taught dd to drive and it worked out very, very well. We are going the same route with ds. He will not have a car on campus his first year of school so we don't have a huge rush to get him licensed before 18.

 

In Michigan, if they are under 18 and get a ticket of any nature, their license is stripped until their 18th birthday and locally, the police practically stalk the teens. Most of them are very, very nervous about driving now because they know they are being watched so closely. It kind of ticks me off. Around here, the teens drive slow and methodically and yet get pulled over for one mile an hour over - oh, yes...happens a lot. Meanwhile 30 somethings driving around in modified pick-up trucks routinely run people off the road and exhibit major road rage/reckless driving behavior and you NEVER see one of them pulled over. It makes the teens really not want to get their licenses very young. Plus, the book class is offered zero hour - 7:00 a.m., and some of the more advanced maths and literature courses are also zero hour so the kids have to choose which one is more important.

 

Faith

[Hikin' Mama]

For us, it is a child-by-child decision. My oldest was 17 when he got his, my next one was just shy of 15, my youngest will begin driver's ed this summer at 16. Of all my kids my middle one makes me the least nervous, and even though we live in a very small town, he did an excellent job of navigating both Portland and Seattle during rush hour this past summer when he and I were on college tours. Furthermore, we didn't make the other two wait; they chose that themselves. I think driving is a huge responsibility and a person should be ready to take it on before he/she is allowed the privilege.

[DianeW88]

My two oldest got their licenses at 16 and I expect my youngest to do the same. We paid for their driver's ed classes and we pay for their auto insurance. They drive our family vehicles until they can afford cars of their own (which they both now have). My dh taught them to drive as soon as they were able to get their permits and they took the necessary driver's ed course through a private driving school. They also had to take a road test at the DMV. They've both been wonderful drivers and we haven't had any problems with a lack of maturity or difficulty in obeying the rules of the road.

[Retired]

 

I see this as another feature of the way western culture babies kids until very late in life. 25. 28. 30. Baby, baby, baby. Keep them living at home, keep them unable to do anything for themselves. Stave off driving for as long as possible, which will also mean they most likely will not work for pay.

 

If you want them to drive, what are your motives? If you want them to delay driving, what are your motives? Poll to follow.

 

ETA: I messed up with the two later questions - I didn't realize you must choose something for each question. I can't figure out how to add a choice now. Sorry. I guess you could pick other.

 

 

I don't think just because you don't drive at 16 that makes you a baby - my mom was married with a kids and didn't get a license till I was starting school. THe issue for some would be lack of money. The issue for some is lack of a car. The issue for some is lack of someone to teach.

 

NOW in my home my sons had a choices of getting a permit at 15 and driving at 16 which is my states earliest. We didn't push our sons. We explained that they would need to learn because it fostered independents. We live in a state with minimal public transportation.

 

Both of my sons decided to wait almost a year - I personally was happy they waited but would of let them get license sooner if they chose.

 

MY REASON is the past 20 years working in hospital critical care- E/R- I really after your rather insulting statement should give you a run down of how many young drivers I've seen killed, paralysed, killed other because of youth, need for speed, unable to multi task whatever the reason THEY WERE NOT MATURE ENOUGH When I was young someone died going after a chewing tobacco can and now they die from cell phones.

 

A CAR IS A DEADLY WEAPON in the hands of YOUTH.

 

Yeah we all drove early put it doesn't mean we all should. The brain really isn't mature at 15 or 16. We all think we will live for ever. We all want to be cool. We really don't think about how our driving affects other. The teen driver is all about themselves.

 

YEAH really inmature for a kid to realize they aren't ready for the responsilbilty. I'm glad my sons waited till they felt they were ready for the RESPONSIBLITY - yeah it meant me driving them a extra year - does it bother me heck no -

 

I really hope all state change driving age. I believe you could poll every E/R and the staff would be 100% in agreement

[TheReader]

I see this as another feature of the way western culture babies kids until very late in life. 25. 28. 30. Baby, baby, baby. Keep them living at home, keep them unable to do anything for themselves. Stave off driving for as long as possible, which will also mean they most likely will not work for pay.

 

 

I think this is a gross over-generalization, even if you were to substitute "US Culture" for Western Culture. Not all western cultures baby their children, teens, young adults, and living at home with mom & dad does not equate inability or unwillingness to do things for themselves, work for pay, etc. For that matter, neither does whether or not one drives. A teen or young adult could be quite independent, contributing member of family & society, even while living at home; even while not driving.

[6packofun]

I *want* them to be able to drive, but it's very expensive. If we don't have an available vehicle for most of the time anyhow, why do I need to pay car insurance just so they can be like all the other kids? It stinks, but that's the way our life is. My 18 yo doesn't have his license yet, 17yo is getting her temps soon after not really caring for a long time and 15yo dd is chomping at the bit to drive even though she doesn't have a job. LOL! They are all different.

 

This is just another area of guilt for me, that we can't provide them with the independence they want/need. Can't just go out and buy another car. Ds18 works, but it's hard to work 32-35 hours a week just for the privilege of driving...to work to make money for car insurance. Kwim? I'd like him to be able to save for a while before saddling him with such high costs. He's making just over minimum wage.

 

Maybe when dh gets his life figured out and gets a proper job our teens will get some independence. I'm not at a point where I can work many hours yet, so we're stuck.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I want them up and out and they can't wait either.

[Danestress]

About the "brain development" view: this makes no sense to me as a reason. (I have not read the studies, though.) Biologically, our children are "adults" when they go through puberty. Do you really think God or Nature designed it such that we are capable of having a child, but not capable of driving a car for several more years?

 

This is what I mean by delaying maturity in western culture. Aren't we showing them we have no faith in their ability to grow up if we delay all grown-up behavior, telling them we don't believe they can handle it?

 

I had no car when I got my license and my parents were poor as spit. I bought my own car when I was 19; paid for my own gas/insurance and everything.

 

 

It's not a matter of "not capable" of driving a car. It's a cost/benefit analysis, and yes, I absolutely think God could design us in a way that allowed us to be capable of bearing children but not as adept at making judgments that barely existed for thousands of years of human development before driving was even invented.

 

If you want to tell me I should put a 14 year year old behind the wheel of an 18 wheeler on a heavy traveled highway because "he's capable of fathering a child so God must have meant he was old enough to handle any adult activity" you are a crazy lady, lol. Just kidding. You aren't a crazy lady:) and I know that's not exactly what you said, but of course I also didn't say (nor did anyone else) that teens "aren't capable" of driving. And while I do have my 15 year olds driving with a permit and do intend to let them graduate into full fledged driving, I also think the brain research is pretty persuasive that our lovely, capable, maturing kids are not necessarily as well designed for driving as they will be five years from now. And while I think my boys are mature and have good reflexes and judgement, they have friends that I would barely allow to walk my dog, let alone drive a car. Kids mature at different rates, and parents are generally good judges of when they are 'ready.'

[Jean in Newcastle]

PM me if you want to find out where to send the money so that we can afford the driving school that our state requires for teenage drivers. My ds would love to drive We don't have the $500 to $600 in the budget right now. Not to mention the high cost of insurance for a teen male. You'd better add that to the donation you send me. ;)

[regentrude]

About the "brain development" view: this makes no sense to me as a reason. (I have not read the studies, though.) Biologically, our children are "adults" when they go through puberty. Do you really think God or Nature designed it such that we are capable of having a child, but not capable of driving a car for several more years?

 

 

The modern biological research shows that brains are still developing into the early 20s.

Puberty now often begins at age 10 or 11. At 13, many girls are fully developed, biologically able to reproduce, have finished growing. This does not mean they are mature enough to drive.

 

And if you simply look at accident statistics, you will see that many young drivers or their passengers are killed or seriously injured because the teen drivers were lacking critical judgment.

[Parrothead]

 

Sperm/egg production begins because God or Nature determined that this was the point where we would be able to bring a child into the world, nurture and care for the child, and assume full adult roles.

 

 

Males are fully equipped and capable of reproduction from birth. Everything works for them. If they could get into position they could father children. Girls entering puberty are doing so younger and younger. No way I'd want a 10 year old driving just because she is capable of reproducing.

[regentrude]

Males are fully equipped and capable of reproduction from birth. Everything works for them. If they could get into position they could father children. Girls entering puberty are doing so younger and younger. No way I'd want a 10 year old driving just because she is capable of reproducing.

 

 

Nor would I consider a 10 year old who was biologically able to give birth ready to take on the responsibilities of a mother.

[Wheres Toto]

In New Jersey they get a permit at 16 1/2, a provisional, restricted license at 17, then a full license at 18. My oldest got her provisional license a month or so after her 17th birthday. The delay was due to a problem with the car she was going to use to take the test, we ended up having to book her test through the company that did her lessons and that was the soonest they could schedule it. We bought her a used car for her to use her senior year in high school. Our reasons were - she showed a lot of responsibility prior to this, she had a job and helped pay toward gas and insurance (no where near all though), and to make it easier on me - every other week I drove her to school in the morning, picked her up after school, drove her 45 minutes away to dance/work, then drove back 4 hours later to pick her up. All except that last trip including hauling her younger siblings into the car. It was much better when she could do all that herself. She spent every other week at her dad's house and being able to drive her self was a lot less stressful for her than having to wait on him (he also contributed toward her car in return for us letting her bring it to his house). She drove between 150 and 250 miles a week depending on whether she was here or at her dad's house. She never had an accident or a ticket. She doesn't have her car now at school (not allowed for freshman) but she will have it next year.

 

My other two are very young but I could see my son not getting his until he is a little older. He has very little impulse control and no common sense. Of course, that may change as he gets older.

 

I didn't get my license until I was 19. I was driving on a bet, ran a car into a tree when I was 16 (no license, no permit), and broke my nose. I went across the country to college and didn't have access to a car until I came back home after 3 semester.

[Elinor Everywhere]

 

 

This is what I mean by delaying maturity in western culture. Aren't we showing them we have no faith in their ability to grow up if we delay all grown-up behavior, telling them we don't believe they can handle it?

 

 

 

You seem to believe this is a western defect, and yet the US and Canada have almost the youngest driving age in the world. Almost all eastern countries set the age at 18 (most of the world, actually). Also, in many eastern cultures it is not abnormal for a child, particularly the eldest, to live at home forever, whereby the parents end up living with them when the child becomes the main bread winner. In fact, with my Greek neighbors across the street, it's exactly that way except it's the younger boy who took over the family business. He was raised in that house, now is married and will be raising his kids there. They built a small addition as a parental suite.

 

My dd will be 15.5 in April and she will be at the DMV office bright and early to get her permit. My ds, the same age, is not even remotely ready to handle a 2000-pound leathal weapon. He has no desire, but even if he did I believe it would be irresponsible of me to allow it. He'll wait until he's 18, most likely. But if he matures between now and then, he can go for it.

[MIch elle]

I think you are WAY off! Each family is able to determine what they can afford and what makes sense for THEM!

 

Yesterday my younger ds turned 16, and he got his permit to drive yesterday! :hurray: He wanted to do it at 16yo, so we made it happen for him. We can afford it; he is mature enough.

 

Older ds didn't do it until he was 17 yo; he wasn't asking about it, and we didn't push it. I was SHOCKED to learn about how much it would cost/required to get a license in our state before the age of 18.

 

Driver's ed- $800 ($50 sibling discount) - required 30 hr class instruction; 6 hrs observing; 12 hrs driving with instructor; 2 hr parent class

 

Insurance - over $1000 - once he gets his Junior Operator License (all under age 18 drivers who pass written and road tests)

 

I know lots of kids in my town who would LOVE to get their permit/license before 18 but cannot due to the high cost.

[KungFuPanda]

Methinks Quill is tired of getting up early and schlepping to high school.

[Parrothead]

Oh, for what it is worth, my grandmother did not get her license until after I got mine. She had raised 4 children by then and also worked outside the home as the need for it arose. A driver's license is not necessary to be an adult. Now she is pushing 90 and volunteers in a nursing home.

[Joker]

Oh, for what it is worth, my grandmother did not get her license until after I got mine. She had raised 4 children by then and also worked outside the home as the need for it arose. A driver's license is not necessary to be an adult. Now she is pushing 90 and volunteers in a nursing home.

 

:iagree: My MIL only had one for a very short period of time. She doesn't have one now and I don't think she's been behind the wheel of a car since she was a teenager. She raised six awesome kids though and is a great MIL.

[DarlaS]

I voted 1-2 years later than the min. legal age since I want them to have more time behind the wheel with a parent in the vehicle than our state requires. That wasn't one of your choices, so I picked "other". Virtually all of your choices for a parent waiting revolve around paranoia or a desire to infantalize our teens (except for the money one--so the only real acceptable "out" is if you're broke?).

 

Let me guess, you just read The Case Against Adolescence? :tongue_smilie:

 

A little science to back up those who decide to wait before handing their teen this incredible responsibility: http://www.aacap.org...decision_making

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Males are fully equipped and capable of reproduction from birth. Everything works for them.

 

You may want to take a refresher on human sexuality.

[I.Dup.]

With today's world, I think 18 is the better age to drive.

 

I agree. Dh and I were just talking about this last night. I would be very afraid of accidents in today's world. Dh and I feel that we were responsible drivers at 16 (as responsible as you can be at 16), but we didn't have smart phones, ipads, and on and on. I think texting and driving is a huge problem.

[DarlaS]

 

In Michigan, if they are under 18 and get a ticket of any nature, their license is stripped until their 18th birthday

 

Umm.... not quite. My son got a ticket at 17, and not only did he not lose his license, he got to take an online driver's ed class and get the points removed.

[Parrothead]

You may want to take a refresher on human sexuality.

 

Why? That is where I learned it in the first place. Human male infants are capable of producing sperm. And no I'm not linking anything or even searching that on line. Lord only know what will pop up and I'm not into all that.

[Laura Corin]

The earliest you can start learning to drive here is 17; I think that sounds like a good age.

 

Laura

[caitlinsmom]

My kids will get their license (assuming they want it and feel comfortable with it) when they turn 15, the legal age in our state. I want them to become independent. I want then to get a job. I want them to date and hang out with friends and go to movies, etc. I don't want to have to be available every time they do those things. Call me lazy but I would rather they handle those kinds of details (within reasonable limits of course) of their lives by the time they are nearly an adult. I will begin preparing my kids for that kind of responsibility long before drivers ed comes into the picture.

 

My favorite quote "I am not raising children, I am raising future adults."

 

ETA: I should mention that we live in a rural area with only a small city. If we lived in say, Seattle, I think my opinion may differ a bit. Without access to any kind of public transportation or even close friends (distance wise) getting around take bit more planning.

[Orthodox6]

Also, in many eastern cultures it is not abnormal for a child, particularly the eldest, to live at home forever, whereby the parents end up living with them when the child becomes the main bread winner. In fact, with my Greek neighbors across the street, it's exactly that way except it's the younger boy who took over the family business. He was raised in that house, now is married and will be raising his kids there. They built a small addition as a parental suite.

 

 

 

Yes. In fact, I was speaking with a Greek (as in from there, not raised here) child/adolescent psychiatrist who expressed her deep perplexity about why U.S. parents are in such a mad rush to shove their children out the door at a young age.

[gardenmom5]

About the "brain development" view: this makes no sense to me as a reason. (I have not read the studies, though.) Biologically, our children are "adults" when they go through puberty. Do you really think God or Nature designed it such that we are capable of having a child, but not capable of driving a car for several more years?

 

This is what I mean by delaying maturity in western culture. Aren't we showing them we have no faith in their ability to grow up if we delay all grown-up behavior, telling them we don't believe they can handle it?

 

I had no car when I got my license and my parents were poor as spit. I bought my own car when I was 19; paid for my own gas/insurance and everything.

since you haven't read the studies on brain development, let me share some tidbits.

 

just because a child has "biologically" changed from child to capable of reproduction, doens't mean their brain and bodies aren't still changing. there is a big difference in the hippocampus between a 10yo, a 15yo and a 25yo. (for some teens, it actually expands from childhood, putting pressure on other parts of the brain and leading to more engagement in reckless behavior. that generally settles down in their 20's.)

biochemically - there are drugs that are fine for adults - that are dangerous for "teens" (perhaps you are too young to remember the huge push to ban aspirin for children/teens after flu/chicken pox because of the risk of rhys. and of course, the big difference in how antidepressants work in teens vs adults)- so no, just because they are capable of reproduction does NOT mean their bodies or brains are equivalent to an adults.

[Night Elf]

This thread probably morphed into something new but I'm answering the poll directly. I feel the need to preface posts like this on long threads.

 

In my case, my kids aren't interested. I disagree with forcing someone to drive. If they don't feel ready, why would I allow them out on the road? My oldest dd got hers the day after she turned18. My 16 yr. old wants to get his as late as possible. He has Aspergers and I think that plays a part in it particularly for him. My youngest is 14 but has no interest in taking Drivers Ed at school because she is afraid of driving. So no, I don't encourage them.

While I am constantly surprised at 16 year olds around here who aren't eager to get their licenses, it strikes me that a kid who knows he or she isn't ready to be driving yet is actually making a very mature decision.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Why? That is where I learned it in the first place. Human male infants are capable of producing sperm. And no I'm not linking anything or even searching that on line. Lord only know what will pop up and I'm not into all that.

 

 

You are confusing spermatogonia with spermatozoa. Spermatogonia do do not mature and divide into sperm until puberty has begun.

[Amber in SJ]

I will add my experience because it is somewhat different. I am forty-something and I don't drive. When I was in high school in our little tiny town driver's training conflicted with another class I was taking, so I didn't do it. My parents assumed I'd get my license later. I went to college in a huge city and getting behind the wheel throws me into a full blown panic attack. We live where there is semi-decent public transportation and we can walk to parks, libraries and shopping and many activities. Given that background you'd think I would be OK with my children not driving, when in fact the opposite is true. My children will not leave my home without a license. I don't care if they never drive an inch after they get their license but they will have one. My not driving has placed some limitations on me and on my children that I do not want my adult children to have. I have no way of knowing where they will go to school, where they will live and have a family, what the future holds for them, but it is my job to do my best not to close any avenues because I didn't teach them basic skills. I believe in our society driving is a basic skill. I want my daughter to be able to drive herself to the college classes of her choice, to be able to drive herself to work, and if she is ever in the situation where a date has been drinking I want her to be able to drive herself home. Yes, those first years of teenage driving are scary, scary, scary, but I'd rather they have those years where we can guide them, encourage them to take their time, drive on less busy roads until they are ready for the biggies rather then throw them into the hustle & bustle of college life & add the driving learning curve on top of it.

 

Just my $.02

 

Amber in SJ

[Cinder]

It really has more to do with them and their readiness than me and my philosophy.

 

 

:iagree: Haven't read through all the replies yet but this struck a chord with me. Ds1 has always wanted to drive since he was little. But when the time actually came he got a bit nervous about it. He waited until he was nearly 16yo to get his permit and he took about 15 months before he was ready to test for his license. (In our state there is a minimum wait of one year between getting your permit and license if you are under 18yo.) It has been convenient for him to have his license--he drives himself and ds2 to school and he gets himself to the U where he is dual-enrolled.

 

Ds2 has no such interest. I think dh wants ds2 to get his license before he's 18yo though, as a step toward independence. I didn't get mine until I was 22yo but I grew up in a city with a good bus system. Around here you need a car to get anywhere. But we won't push ds2; we'll wait until he's ready.

 

One story about why a kid would wait: Ds1 has a friend at school who doesn't want to get his license. He says that when his older brother got his license he was expected to do a lot of errands for the family--like grocery shopping after school. The friend doesn't want that extra responsibility so he's waiting.

[Trilliums]

 

 

I see this as another feature of the way western culture babies kids until very late in life. 25. 28. 30. Baby, baby, baby. Keep them living at home, keep them unable to do anything for themselves. Stave off driving for as long as possible, which will also mean they most likely will not work for pay.

 

 

 

Huh? I have a 16 yo son with very little interest in driving. He is self motivated and hard working. He has plans for college and graduate school and fully intends to work for pay as an adult. I don't see a connection.

[runbikeswim]

It IS WEIRD! My son is almost 16 and at 15 we shelled out a lot of money for him to go to a top driving school. I didn't care either way, but DH was convinced my son was wanting his permit and license asap even though he never expressed any interest in getting either. Fast forward 6 months. Getting him to practice driving is a headache.....so many excuses. At this rate, he will be 17 before get gets the required driving time and skills to pass the test to get his license. And it isn't fear of the roads, although he is nervous. It is laziness. And he isn't a lazy child...just about this area. I guess kids have realized how great it is to be chauffeured around?? lol

 

As for me, deep down I'd prefer he not drive. Or date. Or ever leave home :) And with 24/7 news, the horror stories scare me. But I realize its a rite of passage and have never discouraged my son from getting his license at 16. However, he doesn't seem to be in a rush, so I am not pushing him to get his license. He has his permit...he'll let me know when he's ready.

 

Among our friends, I have seen more kids wait for various reasons. However, I live in the suburbs of a fairly decent city. Kids here walk and bike. My sister lives in a rural town in the middle of the plains and the kids ALL drive at 16. "It is my birthday, take me to get my license!"

 

Might be a regional thing as well as generational.

 

Edited to add, his HS (this oldest son is PSed) is in walking distance, as are about 20 restaurants, stores , parks and things. He is dying to get a summer job, but he'll walk just like he walked to the library when he volunteered last summer.

[Orthodox6]

Our 23-yr. old ds waited until he was around twenty. When he was sixteen, a [descriptive insults omitted] driver broadsided us, slamming into the door next to him. The experience made him understandably leery of getting behind a wheel. Now he drives just fine.

 

Regarding the upthread mention of "free driver ed." When I grew up, driver training took place under the auspices of the physical education department. I suppose we paid some modest fee for the group classes. I don't know why this system would have changed, unless I am to assume the greed of driving schools determined to grab profits from a nearly-captive audience.

[unsinkable]

Egg and sperm production...huh!

 

I read an article that proposed that the decline in numbers of teens getting permits and licenses might be due to the rise in use of social media and cell phones. Teens are connecting electronically and thus the need to connect in person ( and get a license ) is lessened.

[dbmamaz]

its funny, when i was, i just did it asap. my father even paid for me to get private lessons because my b-day was summer so i couldnt do it at school. i was taking a college class over the summer, and until i could drive, my dad had to drop me off at the college at 7:30 am and pick me up at 5, for 1 class, so we were all eager.

 

my younger sister, tho, had no interest in learning to drive. my parents made me drive her everywhere.

 

My daughter is a LOT like my sister. she didnt tell me that you can get a permit in this state at 15.5. she failed her written test twice, and years later said it was on purpose. I had to spend a year driving her between 3 schools, and then forced her to start driving so i could start homeschooling the boys the next year. she always had extreme anxiety over driving, but finally by 20 was getting pretty confident.

 

my son is 16. i started having him study for his permit, but he did fail the test once, and then lost all interest. my husband doesnt want him on our insurance until he's 18, but i might push for a few mo before that, because i think he'll be taking some community college classes. He has some issues, but honestly I think he'll do fine behind the wheel.

 

we live in the burbs and cant get anywhere without driving, but he just would rather sit at his computer . ..

[edelweiss]

My two oldest got their licenses at 16 and I expect my youngest to do the same. We paid for their driver's ed classes and we pay for their auto insurance. They drive our family vehicles until they can afford cars of their own (which they both now have). My dh taught them to drive as soon as they were able to get their permits and they took the necessary driver's ed course through a private driving school. They also had to take a road test at the DMV. They've both been wonderful drivers and we haven't had any problems with a lack of maturity or difficulty in obeying the rules of the road.

 

 

This is what we will do for our two girls. I expect that they will get their learners' permits when they are legally able to. We will pay their private driver's ed training and their insurance. At that point, we'll evaluate to decide when they are going to get their real licenses. We may very well have them practice for a while longer (6 months to a year, maybe?) before we allow them to drive on their own. I can't say for sure right now. It will depend on how they are doing. I have no problem continuing to drive them to their activities if they are not comfortable driving on their own yet (or if we don't think that they are ready).

 

My oldest is 12.5. At this point, I plan to give her my car once she is driving on her own.

[DarlaS]

I will add my experience because it is somewhat different. I am forty-something and I don't drive. When I was in high school in our little tiny town driver's training conflicted with another class I was taking, so I didn't do it. My parents assumed I'd get my license later. I went to college in a huge city and getting behind the wheel throws me into a full blown panic attack. We live where there is semi-decent public transportation and we can walk to parks, libraries and shopping and many activities. Given that background you'd think I would be OK with my children not driving, when in fact the opposite is true. My children will not leave my home without a license. I don't care if they never drive an inch after they get their license but they will have one. My not driving has placed some limitations on me and on my children that I do not want my adult children to have. I have no way of knowing where they will go to school, where they will live and have a family, what the future holds for them, but it is my job to do my best not to close any avenues because I didn't teach them basic skills. I believe in our society driving is a basic skill. I want my daughter to be able to drive herself to the college classes of her choice, to be able to drive herself to work, and if she is ever in the situation where a date has been drinking I want her to be able to drive herself home. Yes, those first years of teenage driving are scary, scary, scary, but I'd rather they have those years where we can guide them, encourage them to take their time, drive on less busy roads until they are ready for the biggies rather then throw them into the hustle & bustle of college life & add the driving learning curve on top of it.

 

Just my $.02

 

Amber in SJ

 

 

I can's speak for everyone here, but I'm simply keeping them driving on a learner's permit a year or so longer vs full-on driving independently. Another year in the car with me won't harm any of my kids a bit (might take a few years off my life though. :bored: ).

 

I should point out though that when my teen did get his licence he drove himself to a college 50 minutes away with big roads and lots of traffic. He hates driving. I was glad for the choice I had made to ride with him his first year down there. It threw a wrench in our schedule, but it worked out okay in the long run. Now he's driving further and in the dark, and I'm pretty sure he'll be all right--and so is he. :001_cool:

[Orthodox6]

You know, I'm thinking about this...

 

When we were kids, the internet, cell phones, facebook, etc. didn't exist. The car was a symbol of escaping the confines of home and getting out into the world, MOSTLY WITH FRIENDS. Kids today are in touch with their friends almost 24/7, even the "isolated" homeschooled kids. I wonder if they just don't view the car as that symbol of social connectivity like we used to view it?

 

Just musing...

 

 

Anybody in search of an excellent thesis or dissertation topic?

[unsinkable]

You know, I'm thinking about this...

 

When we were kids, the internet, cell phones, facebook, etc. didn't exist. The car was a symbol of escaping the confines of home and getting out into the world, MOSTLY WITH FRIENDS. Kids today are in touch with their friends almost 24/7, even the "isolated" homeschooled kids. It seems to me that kids today might prefer home as a safehaven from all the social connectivity that exist in today's world? I wonder if they just don't view the car as that symbol of social connectivity like we used to view it?

 

Just musing...

 

I posted about this a few posts back.

[DarlaS]

Anybody in search of an excellent thesis or dissertation topic?

 

Pretty sure it's already been done to death. I've seen a few articles anyway.

 

And it's not true for my teens, so it never popped into my head for this discussion.

[Lisbeth]

My kids will be 17 or 18. I like 18 better. My kids will also have a lot of metal around them or no driving. I don't want them to have a lot of metal (suv, etc) until I think they won't hurt OTHER people on the road as young teens. No way though would I put my kid in a tiny car. The physics are not good there. I once was in an accident - other guy's fault - he practically totalled his car into mine, mine had a scratch (SUV.) The cop walked all around my vehicle whistling - "I can't believe you just got a scratch out of that!" Yeah, I am mostly afraid of other drivers. Another time I was the front car at a red light in a sandwich accident - someone crashed another car into mine. The gal in the small car in the middle was very injured. Again, I had a barely messed up bumper.

 

I also don't want to give in to the temptation for them to do my errands for me. In my rules of life, it is not their job, it's mine. My husband had to run his sibs all over and do all of his parents' errands and he hated it. Once in a while is fine as a chore, but like they did it, no.

[Georgiana Daniels]

Our oldest did. not. want. to. drive. I can't even pinpoint why but it bugged me because she had so many places to go and activities, and I was having to drag the little ones all over to take the oldest out and about. Finally, I made her start riding the city bus to school. It didn't take long for her to start studying for her drivers' exam.

[unsinkable]

 

 

Huh! And so you did!

 

I'm sorry, I missed it! Mea culpa! :blush5:

 

 

No apology needed! I think your point is valid...

[BakersDozen]

We don't push getting a license for the main reason of expense. I also don't mind at all driving my dc places since we do so much as a family anyway, plus it gives me much coveted time with my older dc. When my dc graduate and need a job (we don't encourage them to work before that time) then they can get their license as they will pay for their own insurance. But until then, I'm the chauffeur of the family and happy to be so. :)

[YourFidgetyFriend]

I don't have a teen, but I had to be forced to get a driver's license at 17 after a year of putting it off. I also had some other friends who weren't hugely interested in getting licenses. This was in the 90s.

 

I still hate driving to this day.