mommylawyer Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I started flipping the direction of my grandmother's toilet tissue when I was a kid - and I do it at other's homes as well. I hope my grandmother didn't despise me for it ( if she even realized it was me). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommylawyer Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 By the way, TP must go over! Under drives me nuts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 No, but only because I've learned how much it bugs me when my mom does it. However, there is on,y one right way for toilet paper, so I might be guilty of that. :) I once went to a friend's to take care of an animal while they were away. It took all my strength not to do the dirty dishes, vacuum, and straighten up. It's not my house and I would never send a message to my friend that I think she is a bad housekeeper. I figure people are perfectly capable of cleaning their own homes. If they wanted it cleaner, they'd clean it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Nope. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I've been known to wash some dirty dishes, but other than that, no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Never. My mil used to do it here. She'd rearrange my silverwear drawer and once switched my salt and pepper shakers (insisting that the salt should be in the shaker with 5 holes and pepper with 2). It's not an indearing quality! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 No, absolutely not. It's rude to presume your taste/preference/style/whatever is so superior to someone else's that you must correct their faux pas in their own space. I would not include doing obvious chores - such as washing up dishes, folding a basket of laundry sitting there, and whatnot - in that, though. (Re-washing, or re-folding, would fall into the former category) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I've been known to wash some dirty dishes, but other than that, no. This. I would do dishes if I were at someone's house alone & they were there & clearly needing to be washed - sitting in the sink. But washing someone's dirty dishes is not a judgement on how clean or organized someone's house is. Everybody has dirty dishes & I don't know anyone with kids who never has dirty dishes sit in the sink for a while on a somewhat regular basis. I realize this may also irritate people but I would only do this for my sister (who would also do it for me) or friends who I've either washed-up for before in their presence & gotten permission or at least I'm confident they would tell me if it irritated them. Other things that people have mentioned changing are things that carry judgement with them. Switching the blinds or TP because they weren't done right, moving something from one place to another (like all the blankets in the kids rooms) because they weren't put away properly. Or "this looks better over here". Its a judgement on someone else's taste/preference/ability to keep house. I wouldn't do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Never. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 No, absolutely not. It's rude to presume your taste/preference/style/whatever is so superior to someone else's that you must correct their faux pas in their own space. I would not include doing obvious chores - such as washing up dishes, folding a basket of laundry sitting there, and whatnot - in that, though. (Re-washing, or re-folding, would fall into the former category) Yep. We posted at the same time but you said it better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Nope. I will help them with whatever they need though. For example, I will fold my sister's clothes or help clean her kitchen when I am there. We usually hang around and talk and help each other with chores, just because that is what we used to do when we were younger, and we kind of fall back into it when we are together, kwim? Or at my mom's or closest friends' homes, I will help them with dish cleanup, meal prep, whatever they need help with. But, it's only after I've offered my help or if they've asked. I don't take it upon myself to change things because they don't suit my fancy. fwiw, the toilet paper going under drives me nuts too, but I don't have the right to change it because some people prefer it to go under. At MY house, it goes over though and I will change it if the boys/dh do it "wrong". :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I might do things at my sister's house without even thinking about it, but I'm not trying to change anything. If we stay with them for a long weekend I'll help run the house, and I might just do some things differently than she does. She might do the same at mine. I don't notice, as in take note of, dishes put in the wrong place or clothing folded differently. The next time I use something I put it away how I do it and don't think of it again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I've never even considered it. I mean, it's never crossed my mind, but no , I wouldn't do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmos Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I have occasionally fixed something that was obviously wrong, like a curtain snagged on itself instead of hanging straight or a vase tipped over. In the case of the curtain, I was in the bathroom and wanted the curtain fully closed! A few months ago, my ds was house-sitting for our neighbor for several weeks (taking in the mail, etc.). I went over with him a couple of times and noticed a full glass of milk sitting on the counter. It was already going sour and that would have been a nasty surprise when they came home. So I dumped the milk and washed the glass. I don't do anything that I would consider overstepping for someone else to do in my home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I've never even considered it. I mean, it's never crossed my mind, but no , I wouldn't do it. :iagree: when the toilet paper runs out, i put a new roll in. my guess is that i probably do it the way i would at home, just out of habit.... i tend to check with people about doing things, and try to do it in a way that makes it easier for them to say "yes". eg. i'm feeling a bit twitchy.... i think i need something to do. i could do dishes or ???? when someone is sick, i see that as different, as i am there specifically to help, so i do what needs to be done. hth, ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Good grief, no. I hate it when others take it upon themselves to change things in my home. So, why would I do the same thing to someone else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I help clean when in other people's homes. But, I don't actively change things. Now, I will say that when we moved from Hawaii in February and went to visit my mom in Oklahoma? We had to beg her to bump her thermostat up from 62 degrees because we were freezing and couldn't sleep at night. But, I didn't just go change it without asking, even then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Yep. We posted at the same time but you said it better. Great minds... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Absolutely not. I'll judge under the roll toilet paper people, but I won't change it. Their house, their rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I once went to a friend's to take care of an animal while they were away. It took all my strength not to do the dirty dishes, vacuum, and straighten up. No, not even when they put the tp roll on wrong. :tongue_smilie: But this (above) reminded me of the time I watched a friend's pets. This friend is usually tidier than I am so it surprised me that they'd left a full trash can in the house and dirty dishes in the sink. While I didn't touch the dishes or tidy anything I *did* take the trash out; it smelled! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 No way. I would be offended if someone came into MY home and started rearranging things....it is MY home and it is the way I like it! Your way is not RIGHT and mine WRONG, they are just different preferences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I have been known to straighten pictures that were hanging crooked. I may have rehung the TP once or twice. Otherwise, no. And agreeing that I might wash up dirty dishes in the sink or something similar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommylawyer Posted December 20, 2012 Author Share Posted December 20, 2012 I limit myself to the TP - let me qualify that by saying, I only do it at homes of VERY dear friends (who know my compulsion) and at my mom's. My husband will put the roll on the "wrong" way just to see how long it takes me to correct it. That's where I draw the line though. I don't do dishes, rearrange linen closets, turn blinds, etc. unless specifically asked. Although, I might straighten a picture. I was just curious. I've seen several posts where someone was house sitting or helping out after the birth of a child and the helper completely rearranged certain things in the home. I would find that extremely distressing! (This, coming from me - a woman who loves Christmas but can hardly stand the disruption the decorations make to the normal flow of her house!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Um... no. I mean really, how many times are you planning on using the bathroom while you're there, anyway? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I have when I was asked too. I have for certain ederly people too. I will refuse to visit people if their homes are nasty. I wouldn't do it for the heck of it. My mom would and she has it don't bother me I just put it back when she leaves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Oh I do. I change and clean lots in other people's houses...... Oh, but they PAY me to do that. :laugh: Gotcha, didn't I? Houses where I am a guest? Not ever. I will change an empty toilet paper roll. I will not switch it. I'm a freak. I don't care which way the toilet paper dispenses as long as there is tp there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 No, I'd never be so bold as to presume someone wanted their stuff moved or changed to my tastes. And I've never understood the toilet paper thing. Why on earth does it matter? It seems the stupidest thing to get one's panties in a bunch over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Good grief, no. That would be the height of rudeness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeaganS Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 The only thing I do at other people's houses (when we aren't overnight guests) is baby proof a little. I might go through and put breakable things on a high shelf or move that bowl of M&Ms. But I've only ever done this with family and they are grateful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 No, I'd never be so bold as to presume someone wanted their stuff moved or changed to my tastes. And I've never understood the toilet paper thing. Why on earth does it matter? It seems the stupidest thing to get one's panties in a bunch over. You really don't care about which way the toilet paper goes? Really? There's two of us! I'm not alone! I'm not a freak! Okay, we're both freaks! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 If you flip my toilet paper roll, you will find the entire thing in a puddle on the floor. Our cats would love you forever. I would be annoyed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I don't, but when I was a teen and would babysit I would wash dishes, maybe vacuum, and make sure the kitchen was tidy before the parents would come home. I think this was more to keep me busy after the kids were in bed. My Aunts all loved that part of me babysitting. I know when my mom comes to visit I love having her here, but when she leaves it's a royal nightmare because I actually have to call and ask her where she put X, Y, and Z away in the kitchen. This is the only room she does it in though. I've had things I couldn't find for 6 months and then when she showed up for her next visit I'd see her with it. I'd say "Hey where'd you find that?" her response is always "Right where I put it away" well that place is obviously a place I would never dream of putting said item. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 You really don't care about which way the toilet paper goes? Really? There's two of us! I'm not alone! I'm not a freak! Okay, we're both freaks! ;) I don't care either. I would NEVER change things in people's houses - EVER. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I don't care either. I would NEVER change things in people's houses - EVER. Eh. I prefer it one way but you can't do it "wrong". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eagle Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Years ago I used to flip the toilet paper over at people's houses if they had it under. But that was when I was a child and thought I was doing them a favour because they must not know the correct way to hang TP. Recently I had a friend flip MY toilet paper over so it went under. Who does that!?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I would never dream of being so presumtuous as to change *anything* at someone else's home - even the TP (and I prefer under). eta: i agree the tp is purely personal preferance and there is no "right or wrong" way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Devan Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 No, although I did once straighten the pictures at my inlaws house. They were SO crooked it drove me nuts. It occured to me later how rude it probably seemed, so I wouldn't do that again. My mom once rearranged my silverware drawer and it annoyed me greatly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Occasionally Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I posted maybe a year ago about having people change the direction of my TP when they were guests here. I was surprised that so many thought they ought to change my TP because it was "wrong." I can't imagine doing that in anyone else's house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 So, after reading a lot of these replies, I must admit something. The canisters on my kitchen counter are in the "wrong" order. This is intended to bug my more OCD friends. I can tell who is the most OCD by who "fixes" them. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mellifera33 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Hmm...I went through and thoroughly cleaned a friend's apartment once when she was hospitalized. She had been ill for a while and housekeeping had completely gotten away from her. She asked me to feed her pets, and I thought cleaning up would help her. She thanked me at the time, but after reading these responses I have to wonder if she secretly resented it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeschoolMamaOfTwo Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Nope, never have, can't think of any reason I would unless I was asked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I know when my mom comes to visit I love having her here, but when she leaves it's a royal nightmare because I actually have to call and ask her where she put X, Y, and Z away in the kitchen. This is the only room she does it in though. I've had things I couldn't find for 6 months and then when she showed up for her next visit I'd see her with it. I'd say "Hey where'd you find that?" her response is always "Right where I put it away" well that place is obviously a place I would never dream of putting said item. my mil always rearranges things (she's 87 and has FINALLY slowed down) - I learned to think of the *stupidest* place something could be in, and there it would be. she is a control freak. (though 1sil thinks she does it on purpose to drive people batty ) I am speechless at how many think it's okay to rearrange something in someone else's home. even as trivial as the tp - please, explain to me what you feel gives you the right to change how someone else does something in their own home? if you are that "compulsive" that you can't control yourself - perhaps you need professional help. I have to agree with pp - I consider it highly presumtuous at best. (that doesn't include fixing a tilted picture, closing an open cupboard door, or unsnagging a snagged curtain). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Hmm...I went through and thoroughly cleaned a friend's apartment once when she was hospitalized. She had been ill for a while and housekeeping had completely gotten away from her. She asked me to feed her pets, and I thought cleaning up would help her. She thanked me at the time, but after reading these responses I have to wonder if she secretly resented it. there is a diffrence between cleaning up for someone gone on vacation or in the hospital. running the vacuum, washing dishes, unloading dishwasher etc. and rearranging where they put things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 No, I'd never be so bold as to presume someone wanted their stuff moved or changed to my tastes. And I've never understood the toilet paper thing. Why on earth does it matter? It seems the stupidest thing to get one's panties in a bunch over. You really don't care about which way the toilet paper goes? Really? There's two of us! I'm not alone! I'm not a freak! Okay, we're both freaks! ;) I want to be in the freak club too. Now that I think of it I don't care. I put them in under, and everyone else puts them over. I've never turned one around. In fact often I am lazy and don't even put it in the spinny thing, I just put it on top of the old empty roll. We have these fancy holders andt hey kinda stick out a bit. Now when my dad visits he folds the ends over like in a hotel. I think it's funny. When I visit my mom I clean her kitchen. But that's just helping because she has my kids over often and it's candy making season. She gives us chocolates/candies and I clean up after her LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 Absolutely not. I have done chores to help out sick friends but I always asked first and they were there to tell me how they preferred that I do it, if they had a preference (most didn't). Even toilet paper. I have reasons to hang my tp a certain way (our cat) and would be angry if someone decided to flip it to another way. If we ran out and they had to put on a new roll then I wouldn't expect them to remember how I had it though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I was once at someone's house and they had this basket of towels in there. Well I took one out and used it. She later asked me why I took her display towel out to use. I said I thought they were there to use. She said no those are my display towels. Ok then. They were all plain colors and on the counter stacked in a basket. I figured they were there because she had more people over. This was a sewing club type thing. I was so embarrassed and kind of ticked that she made a fuss over it. I just made a joke of it but that really made me consider EXTRA how not to be petty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 So, after reading a lot of these replies, I must admit something. The canisters on my kitchen counter are in the "wrong" order. This is intended to bug my more OCD friends. I can tell who is the most OCD by who "fixes" them. :D OMGosh, I love you. I will have to remember this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 No way...I can't imagine going to someone's home and doing anything remotely like that. :scared: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostSurprise Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I've cleaned my sister's bathroom before...in secret and for fun. Its not her favorite chore. I do the same thing for my mother. I don't move anything though and I know they would love to have someone clean their bathroom for them. Actually, they might not even notice. I do the dusty corners and stuff, shine the chrome. I have done dishes for both of them without permission when I was really bored. I put the obvious stuff away and the stuff I don't know goes on the drainboard. I don't presume to change things like toilet paper direction. Its not my house. My job is to make things easier, not "fix" them. I wouldn't do this for anyone who I wasn't really close to though and who I know really well. I love my MIL but I wouldn't do this at her house. I don't know enough about her preferences to feel comfortable. MIL used to put my dishes away when she visited because she needed to be helpful. We would find things in odd places for ages. I used to roll my eyes about it, but I miss it now. She's been ill the last 2 years, so I feel sort of nostalgic about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted December 20, 2012 Share Posted December 20, 2012 I've been sharing some of this with dh - the compulsion to change things is his mother. he reminded me of his mother painting my bathroom scale (a color that clashed with everything) the night before a bridal shower for an ex-sil. I stayed up all night removing the paint. dh commented "poor little bathroom scale, saw D coming with a can of paint and didn't run fast enough." we've laughed about it since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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