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Let's say you and dh absolutely want no more children. Imagine sterilization is out of the question b/c one spouse doesn't feel comfortable with it. Then, say wife does want oral contraception because of hormone/thyroid issues.

 

What would you choose?

Edited by nestof3
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:bigear:

I just went off the pill because I'm sick of carrying around this extra weight and think that it's the pills.

I don't want to get fixed because I always wanted more children. However, dh is not to keen on a V because our good friend had a terrible, serious complication. I think he still will go though. For now it's there horror of condoms. I loathe, hate, detest them. But, I hate being fat more.

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That is still a hormonal birth control.

 

Barrier methods are about your only non-hormone option. Have you tried a diaphragm?

 

It is hormonal, but a lower dose than oral. My understanding is it works for a lot of people that have trouble with oral contraceptives.

 

Diaphragms are not that effective. If you really don't want more kids, I'd be nervous about a diaphragm.

 

A copper iud would be my other recommendation, but I'm a bit leery because it can make your periods worse.

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Has anyone heard of or used Essure?

 

http://www.essure.com/is-essure-right-for-me/the-essure-difference

 

I just came across this. It's hormone-free, permanent, and it's success rate is about the same as the pill. It closes your Fallopian tubes. You get an exam by your doctor 3 months after insertion to make sure it's working all the way. Interesting.

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A pair of sharp scissors in the middle of the night? :w00t:

 

Come on, how hard could it be? Doctors perform several Vs in a single day with almost no complications. You just have to do it the one time. The bleeding will probably be minimal, and if you can hem a pair of slacks, I'm sure you can handle a couple of stitches, right?

 

I'll bet there are instructions on the internet. :D

 

OK, so maybe you don't want to do that, but if you can ever get him so drunk that he passes out, where's the harm in trying? ;)

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Has anyone heard of or used Essure?

 

http://www.essure.com/is-essure-right-for-me/the-essure-difference

 

I just came across this. It's hormone-free, permanent, and it's success rate is about the same as the pill. It closes your Fallopian tubes. You get an exam by your doctor 3 months after insertion to make sure it's working all the way. Interesting.

 

I thought about that too... I don't know anyone that has had it done. I didn't know if the not wanting sterilization was because of the procedure itself or the wanting to reverse it in the future if there was a change of heart.

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My cycle has been unpredictable with thyroid issues, so I get nervous about timing. I've gone from 17 to 30 days when my thyroid meds are off.

 

I've never taken oral b/c.

 

I've never used a diaphragm.

 

I am worried about reliability of barrier methods. Condoms are (sigh) okay, but I've never used a spermicide. I feel like such a newbie.

 

So far, we rely a lot on the above mentioned and creativity, but my fears of conceiving are contributing to issues.

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A pair of sharp scissors in the middle of the night? :w00t:

 

Come on, how hard could it be? Doctors perform several Vs in a single day with almost no complications. You just have to do it the one time. The bleeding will probably be minimal, and if you can hem a pair of slacks, I'm sure you can handle a couple of stitches, right?

 

I'll bet there are instructions on the internet. :D

 

OK, so maybe you don't want to do that, but if you can ever get him so drunk that he passes out, where's the harm in trying? ;)

 

:lol:

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So far, we rely a lot on the above mentioned and creativity, but my fears of conceiving are contributing to issues.

 

I can absolutely understand that. It's hard to get into it when part of you is worried that "just a drop" will end up where it's not supposed to be. :grouphug:

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I thought about that too... I don't know anyone that has had it done. I didn't know if the not wanting sterilization was because of the procedure itself or the wanting to reverse it in the future if there was a change of heart.

 

No -- moral concerns. I am nervous about this procedure, which my gyn. suggested (I guess there are horror stories with them all), but I don't think dh would be on board anyway.

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I thought about that too... I don't know anyone that has had it done. I didn't know if the not wanting sterilization was because of the procedure itself or the wanting to reverse it in the future if there was a change of heart.

 

Wouldn't work for the OP, as it's permanent, but I have Essure, and have been VERY happy with it. I'd be happy to answer any questions you have, but maybe over PM so we don't hijack any more?

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Paragard IUD (hated Mirena--I have thyroid issues)

 

 

Just wondering how the two are linked? I have hypothyroid and I am on my second round with Mirena (so about 7 years). Love the Mirena! Curious as to what the link was between thyroid and Mirena, however.

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Probably a barrier method (diaphragm + spermicide), coupled with a very strict observance of fertility signs and temperature charting.

 

Baby #6 is on the way due to this method. I was VERY careful and had a diaphragm with spermicide in at a time when I should have been safe. I wouldn't trust this method.

 

I'm against IUD's because I got pregnant and miscarried with Mirena. But I know they work for a lot of people and it sounds like the copper IUD might be your best bet, to the OP.

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I had a Paragard. It failed and ds is now 10. When that happened, ds was FINALLY on board with sterilization. He had a vas and it was the best thing we've ever done. FREEEEEEDOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!

 

My MIL's youngest son is several years younger than her other batch of kids due to IUD, too. I do NOT NOT NOT recommend IUDs. I personally know too many people with IUD babies.

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Very strict (strictest interpretation of the rules; no cheating on the rules) TCOYF combined with barrier methods during pre-ovulation stage of the cycle.

 

Here's a chart you may find helpful.

 

:iagree: We use barrier methods combined with fertility awareness. I do not chart or take my temperature which means that we use our barrier method most of the time. If I paid better attention and charted, we could go without more but we play it very safe and haven't had a problem and we'd done this for years.

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Just wondering how the two are linked? I have hypothyroid and I am on my second round with Mirena (so about 7 years). Love the Mirena! Curious as to what the link was between thyroid and Mirena, however.

 

The thyroid is interlinked with all of the other parts of the endocrine system. I find that I am extremely sensitive to artificial hormones, even the low dose in Mirena. I could not lose weight until I got the Mirena out. Also, I spotted almost every day for 18 months--the whole time I had it in. I hated it. That was so much worse than a regular period. In addition, I had migraines much more frequently.

 

I had no issues and no pregnancies with Paragrad. I would have gotten another one, but dh had a vasectomy instead. :)

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non-hormonal IUD or a combo of condoms and diaphragm?

 

And I would never pressure anyone to go through sterilization if they don't want it. I wouldn't want to be pressured into it, and I wouldn't pressure someone else.

 

I wouldn't pressure either, but it is frustrating because my need is so much lower, and it seems every option seems to fall to something I have to do that I am not comfortable with except condoms, but those aren't his favorite. We do both agree that having another baby is out of the question, so this leaves him frustrated with the frequency because we are both so cautious. I end up taking the blame, though. He is more comfortable with me being sterilized, though but not completely.

Edited by nestof3
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I wouldn't pressure either, but it is frustrating because my need is so much lower, and it seems every option seems to fall to something I have to do that I am not comfortable with except condoms, but those aren't his favorite. We do both agree that having another baby is out of the question, so this leaves him frustrated.

 

Honestly, Dawn, he already feels like he's too old to be a father, so I'm not sure why a vasectomy wouldn't be the best option. It's not like he wants any more kids, so I don't understand his hesitation.

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Honestly, Dawn, he already feels like he's too old to be a father, so I'm not sure why a vasectomy wouldn't be the best option. It's not like he wants any more kids, so I don't understand his hesitation.

 

I respect the hesitation because he is concerned that it is wrong messing with God's design. I'm okay with it because I feel nearly all methods are messing with design -- some by hormones, done by scarring, some by snipping.

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I respect the hesitation because he is concerned that it is wrong messing with God's design. I'm okay with it because I feel nearly all methods are messing with design -- some by hormones, done by scarring, some by snipping.

 

Sounds like an excuse to me, given that he'd be OK with messing with God's design for you.

 

I understand the conundrum. I refuse to do hormones or anything preventing implantation yet neither of us are ready to do anything permanent. That leaves us with condoms and timing - which is why we have #4.

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It is true that the options are not pretty. I think we may be ready for a permanent option soon, but it is tough finding something that everyone is happy with. And every person I know who had an IUD (Mirena and copper) became pregnant! Granted, it is only 4 or 5 people, but it really freaked me out. It seems like such a great option "on paper" but there's definitely some side effects.

 

This stuff is not easy! You'd think by now there would be some reliable options that aren't too...annoying? Invasive? Icky? :glare:

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Sounds like an excuse to me, given that he'd be OK with messing with God's design for you.

 

I understand the conundrum. I refuse to do hormones or anything preventing implantation yet neither of us are ready to do anything permanent. That leaves us with condoms and timing - which is why we have #4.

 

I asked him first if he would be okay with me having it done, and he hesitated. He said he wasn't sure. Later when we talked about the Essure procedure, he said he didn't feel comfortable with it.

 

Your last paragraph has been us, and that's what we are scared of. (Not that it isn't wonderful for you).

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