Would this freak you out?

[fairfarmhand]

I was out jogging Friday afternoon. I live in a decently rural area, with each home built on a minimum of 5 acres, most of them more like 8-10. I run up to the end of my road and back which is a distance of about 4 miles. Toward the end of the street, the road does a series of S curves in this wooded area where no houses are built. That spot is pretty deserted, although cars come through there all the time.

 

As I was headed away from the house, I came through this wooded area. This spot is about 1.5 miles from my house and it was around 7 or so. The sun was setting and it was getting darker, but I still had plenty of time to make it home before it was unsafe to be running. On the side of the road was parked this truck with a large box trailer attached to the bumper. There was a man on my side of the road stomping through the weeds as if he was looking for something. I nodded and ran past to my turn around spot and came back to the area about 5 minutes later. At this point the man had crossed the road and was stomping through those weeds.

 

He stopped me and said that he wondered if I had seen a taillight on the ground anytime recently. Said he's swerved to miss a deer about a week ago and hit the telephone pole on the back passenger side of the truck. He'd found one of the lights on the ground that day, but couldn't find the other. I said no. And he just kept talking. I kept saying, No, I haven't seen your taillight And as he was talking he kept walking toward me. I kept taking a few steps backward as he was talking, just trying to keep my distance. He talked about not wanting to wade through the grass because of ticks and chiggers, how expensive getting the truck fixed was, blah blah blah. He went on and on, and I finally just said, Gotta go! BYE!

 

The whole encounter was weird. First, most of the men I am around are very conscious about not freaking out women by approaching them when they are alone, other than short encounters. Second, he just kept on walking toward me. No matter how often I backed off, he kept coming, and I am sure I was send out the uncomfortable vibes. Third, if you were going to wade through thigh high grass, and you did it the week before and got eaten up with chiggers (this is what he told me) would you wear shorts to do it again? Fourth, why was he on the opposite side of the road when I was first running out there and then to the other side when I came back on the opposite side of the road. Fifth, don't trucks only have one taillight on each side? If he hit the one side of the truck, why would he have lost 2 taillights? (maybe I am wrong though??)

 

Basically, the whole encounter left me with a weirded out feeling. I hustled around the curves to the area of the street that had houses and called my dh to come pick me up.

 

Am I overreacting, or was I right in being a bit unnerved by the situation?

[elegantlion]

I would feel unnerved too, but I lean towards paranoia in those type of situations. I watch too many weird movies.

 

Have you seen that vehicle before? Have you been back to that area to check it out? Maybe he was looking for a place to dump something (not necessarily a body...)

[besroma]

I think you were right to trust your instincts. It sounds fishy to me, and I am glad you left.

 

I would change my running route and time for a bit, just in case.

 

Do you carry pepper spray?

[fairfarmhand]

I would feel unnerved too, but I lean towards paranoia in those type of situations. I watch too many weird movies.

 

Have you seen that vehicle before? Have you been back to that area to check it out? Maybe he was looking for a place to dump something (not necessarily a body...)

I haven't seen the truck before that I am aware of, just a non-descript white pickup. There's probably hundreds of them in the county.

 

Another thing that freaked me out was that he said "I see you out here running all the time" at least 5 times.

[justamouse]

I would change the time you run. And yeah, that would freak me out, too.

[bzymom]

Most likely he is just clueless.

 

But I would change my routine/path for awhile.

 

And if a strange man tries to slow you down to talk, cross away from him without a word and run like the wind.

 

ETA: I just saw your response wherein he repeatedly said he had seen you running before. Given that, I would find him creepier and I would NOT run that path alone again.

 

Please be careful.

[kiana]

Yeah, that would make me nervous too. I would change my running route if possible and carry a cellphone and possibly a self-defense tool if I felt confident using it, in an easily accessible manner.

[Ferdie]

Another thing that freaked me out was that he said "I see you out here running all the time" at least 5 times.

 

Yes, that would freak me out. Can someone bike along with you when you run?

[elegantlion]

Given your update I might do a non-emergency call to your police. Maybe he is watching other women. If one has any sort of people skills, you know not to state stuff like that. Trust your gut.

 

Do you have a big dog to take with you for a while?

[momofkhm]

I'd be weirded out as well. But maybe he is just one of those people that has no idea about personal space and doesn't pick up very well on social cues?

 

I'd run with something to protect myself with for a few days if not weeks just to be sure. I sometimes have one of these with me.

[fairfarmhand]

Yes, that would freak me out. Can someone bike along with you when you run?

no, but my dh has asked me to a. run in the middle of the day, no more dusk running and b. run with a partner.

 

I read the book "The Gift of Fear" and as I was slowly backing away from this man, I was thinking " Listen to that voice!"

[kalanamak]

 

Basically, the whole encounter left me with a weirded out feeling. I hustled around the curves to the area of the street that had houses and called my dh to come pick me up.

 

Am I overreacting, or was I right in being a bit unnerved by the situation?

 

I suspect he was frustrated by his loss and saw a woman, the sex that listens to his complaints at home, and vented, and that he was just being childishly clueless about how this might come across to you.

[kiana]

I suspect he was frustrated by his loss and saw a woman, the sex that listens to his complaints at home, and vented, and that he was just being childishly clueless about how this might come across to you.

 

I think this is actually the most likely situation, but it would still unnerve me. I would rather be safe than sorry in this situation.

[fairfarmhand]

I suspect he was frustrated by his loss and saw a woman, the sex that listens to his complaints at home, and vented, and that he was just being childishly clueless about how this might come across to you.

I had that thought too. That is what I hope is all that it was.

[the4Rs]

There is a reason God gives us discernment....that gut check that something isn't right. I trust that. Better safe than sorry I say. That is not living in fear but being wise in every situation. The ladies have given you some good advice about changing running times and routes and running with a partner. It may have been nothing but you don't know that for sure so be careful.

[RanchGirl]

Looking for a lost taillight? That doesn't even make sense, what value is a broken taillight? Nobody would be looking for that a week later. His whole story is unbelievable and he said he'd been watching you and tried to advance toward you as you backed away... I think you are very lucky. I would call the police right away to report the incident and change my running habits. Run somewhere else with a partner and a dog if possible, and pepper spray.

[Element]

I suspect he was frustrated by his loss and saw a woman, the sex that listens to his complaints at home, and vented, and that he was just being childishly clueless about how this might come across to you.

 

This is what I was thinking too, but I think you did the right thing by getting away from him just in case. There's was no reason to stay and listen to him.

 

I think his "I've seen you running here..." could have been his way of saying, "Hey, don't be freaked out by me! We know each other. I'm a local!" :rolleyes: However, I could be wrong too. I grew up in a rural area and there was almost never a vehicle I couldn't identify unless someone had just purchased it.

[ChristyB in TN]

I feel strongly there was a lot to fear. Change your route, your schedule, and carry pepper spray. That was not normal.

[AnnaM]

I run with a small "tazer". I can hold it in my hand and it doesn't weigh too much. It isn't as strong as some larger ones but it is enough to put someone down if I needed to.

[fairfarmhand]

what's strange is that all the questions that I had about his story didn't pop into my head until later. I just had such a strange feeling and the fact that he kept coming toward me really freaked me out. It was only later that the whole thing seemed so strange on an intellectual level.

[Leah IL]

Nope, I'd be freaked out, too! Even if it was a harmless incident, it is still unnerving to be stopped while running. And it's funny because you almost exactly described my morning running route- I also live in a rural area and go through a wooded, curvy spot where there are no houses. I constantly think about what I would do if approached. I even have thought of "escape routes" at different parts of my run- how I'd climb that fence or shoot through that field or zig zag through the corn or whatever.

[fairfarmhand]

I have a handgun permit.

 

Maybe I need to get a pistol to go with it. Ironically, I've been licensed to carry for years and carried a gun a total of twice. Our pistol is very big and heavy, but maybe I need to find a smaller one with a holster that's comfy for running.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

I am with you. That is weird.

[Kalmia]

I walk in rural areas a lot. Follow the advice of the previous posters! When I see a car sitting on the side of the road by the woods or come across a situation that makes me nervous, I always call someone on the phone immediately. I just chat with them, but that way I have an open line to help. How many bad guys are going to wait to let you get your phone out and dial? Also being on the phone may be a deterrent in and of itself. When my pal doesn't answer I just pretend to be talking to someone while I dial someone else. Also it is a great excuse for not engaging in idle chit chat with strangers. Just make sure that you don't stop being attentive to what is around you just because you are on the phone!

[Mommyof4ks]

The encounter itself would not weird me out, but if you got a weird vibe, then yes that would concern me a lot. I am a trust your instincts kind of person, IMO that is why we have those warning bells in our head. Can dh run with you for a while or can you carry a weapon of some sort?

 

ETA: Just saw where you have a handgun permit. I would get a gun after that encounter given that he says he has seen you running before. We have regular runners and walkers in our neighborhood, but mentioning seeing someone more than once in a conversation is odd.

Edited September 4, 2012 by dwkilburn1

[LibraryLover]

I would think that if he had wanted to harm you, he would have.

[mellifera33]

Maybe he was trying to distract you from the mobile meth lab in his trailer?

[QueenCat]

I would be freaked out too. Can you find a running partner for at least a little while? I can't imagine running with a gun attached to my hip.

[Barbara H]

Maybe he was trying to distract you from the mobile meth lab in his trailer?

 

I also had this thought.

 

If you got a bad feeling trust your gut.

[MicheleinMN]

no, but my dh has asked me to a. run in the middle of the day, no more dusk running and b. run with a partner.

 

I read the book "The Gift of Fear" and as I was slowly backing away from this man, I was thinking " Listen to that voice!"

 

I would be freaked out as well, and definitely listen to that voice!

[RoughCollie]

I would think that if he had wanted to harm you, he would have.

 

That was my thought, too. OTOH, maybe he didn't have the guts or maybe the OP didn't strike him as a person who was vulnerable to being victimized. Or maybe he was innocent and didn't realize how he was coming across.

 

All that doesn't matter. What matters is that the OP feels safe while she is running.

 

I live out in the country, and I don't like the isolation. It is nice to run (or walk, in my case) down a country road, but if help is needed, only cows are available most of the time. I worry about being accosted by loose dogs and stray men.

[Remudamom]

You should never run unprotected. Carry your phone. And have either pepper spray, a taser or a gun. I've got a derringer, easy to carry.

[4everHis]

I haven't seen the truck before that I am aware of, just a non-descript white pickup. There's probably hundreds of them in the county.

 

Another thing that freaked me out was that he said "I see you out here running all the time" at least 5 times.

 

I would be changing something. Run with mace, different times and possibly not alone. That's wierd.

[Danestress]

Part of me thinks that if he wanted to hurt you, he would have, and that he may have just been clueless.

 

But it is always good to be safe. I would vary my running time and carry a cell phone and mace. I would not run with a partner because that would kill the experience for me - which is partly about being off in the woods with my own thoughts.

 

If you see him around again, disregard this and get the partner.

[QuirkyKapers]

If you felt something was off, I would trust that and change my route and time that I ran.

[justasque]

The taillight thing is just odd. I'd run that by non-emergency law enforcement, in case it is a puzzle piece that fits with something else they're dealing with.

 

And I'd change up the route.

 

Probably a perfectly harmless guy, but better safe...

[Carol in Cal.]

Admittedly I am a city girl, and on the cautious but do it anyway side generally, but that would freak me out a lot.

 

I think that a lot of women would have been uncomfortable but felt embarrassed to leave or retreat, and that you were extremely wise to do both of those things. And that was even before I saw the follow up about 'having seen you here lots of times' which would have sent me right over the edge.

 

The box trailer was just that much more concerning.

 

You were wise to retreat.

You were wise to leave.

And you were extremely wise not to show fear.

 

If it were me, I would change my pattern up quite a bit. I would drive out that way looking for this guy and get a license plate if I could, and try to find out who he is, and report this on a non emergency basis just to have it on record. I would run at a different time of the day, and not do it at the same time each day. And I would always carry a cell phone that I knew had service in that whole area, as well as one of those really loud noisemakers.

[SonshineLearner]

Hmmmm.... running with a dog, running with a gun, and I'm not joking :(

[JVA]

I'm pretty cynical when it comes to safety and stuff so I'd run at a different time, ALWAYS have my cell phone with me , carry pepper spray and satisfy my dh and finally take that gun safety class with him after he buys me the handgun he's talked about. Don't take chances, even if the guy is truly clueless. Too many awful things happen.

[Carol in Cal.]

Can I just say that the extent to which we women must worry about strange men attacking us is neither normal, nor acceptable? It's a blot on our society. There are many countries that are worse, but there are also ones that are far better in this regard--particularly Japan.

 

Violence like we have to worry about should be unthinkable.

 

I remember at about 29 reading that 40% of women are s(xually assaulted during their lifetimes. I found that incredible, and didn't think that it could possibly be true. A group of friends and I sat on the beach discussing this shortly thereafter. There were 5 of us, all around the same age. We all agree that this kind of crime is FAR more uncommon than the study indicated.

 

I thought about it later and realized that of the 5 of us, 2 had been raped, to my certain knowlege, that the other two I did not know well enough to know whether or not this was the case for them, and I had been attacked in public once (although I had gotten away, thankfully). So of the 5 of us, at least 60% had been attacked, 40% had been raped.

 

This is just ridiculous. As a society we should not be tolerating this level of violence.

[Harriet Vane]

Given your update I might do a non-emergency call to your police. Maybe he is watching other women. If one has any sort of people skills, you know not to state stuff like that. Trust your gut.

 

Do you have a big dog to take with you for a while?

 

:iagree:

 

Listen to your instincts. Do not rationalize away what happened. You knew his behavior was off, and you reacted appropriately.

[Mimm]

Can I just say that the extent to which we women must worry about strange men attacking us is neither normal, nor acceptable? It's a blot on our society. There are many countries that are worse, but there are also ones that are far better in this regard--particularly Japan.

 

Violence like we have to worry about should be unthinkable.

 

I remember at about 29 reading that 40% of women are s(xually assaulted during their lifetimes. I found that incredible, and didn't think that it could possibly be true. A group of friends and I sat on the beach discussing this shortly thereafter. There were 5 of us, all around the same age. We all agree that this kind of crime is FAR more uncommon than the study indicated.

 

I thought about it later and realized that of the 5 of us, 2 had been raped, to my certain knowlege, that the other two I did not know well enough to know whether or not this was the case for them, and I had been attacked in public once (although I had gotten away, thankfully). So of the 5 of us, at least 60% had been attacked, 40% had been raped.

 

This is just ridiculous. As a society we should not be tolerating this level of violence.

 

I agree with what you're saying- it is shocking that we live in such fear and know so many people who are victims of rape and assault. But how exactly should we go about "not tolerating" violence?

[Anne in CA]

Definitely I agree with the posters who asked you to cal the non emergency police line and describe the incident. The behavior mentioned was creepy, I grew up in the country and am aware that people poking around on other people's property are usually doing something they shouldn't be.

 

Small list of things he might be doing:

 

Shooting small animals for target practice.

 

Waiting to make a drug deal and trying to scare you off.

 

Illegally harvesting medicinal herbs on someone else's property.

 

Cooking meth.

 

Waiting for one of your neighbors to leave so he can help himself to chemicals to make meth with from their barn.

 

All of those things have happened on my father's property alone, so please let the police know about this guy so they can fit your puzzle piece into whatever is going on.

[love2read]

We live in the country and no longer even walk on our road because of a similar weird accident. Carry pepper spray or mace from now on.

[Dobela]

Part of me thinks that if he wanted to hurt you, he would have, and that he may have just been clueless.

 

But it is always good to be safe. I would vary my running time and carry a cell phone and mace. I would not run with a partner because that would kill the experience for me - which is partly about being off in the woods with my own thoughts.

 

If you see him around again, disregard this and get the partner.

I don't know. My gut after reading all this tells me that he DID want to hurt her. She was smart enough to keep her distance and to keep moving. Had she stopped, or decided to move closer to help him, I fear the worst. His conversation seemed to be such to try to calm her, put her at ease.

[Jennifer3141]

I think you were right to trust your instincts. It sounds fishy to me, and I am glad you left.

 

I would change my running route and time for a bit, just in case.

 

Do you carry pepper spray?

 

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

I think you did the exactly right thing. And I'm proud of you for trsuting your instincts!!! Also, I'm very glad you are safe and sound.

[J-rap]

That would really freak me out. Either take a big dog, a running partner, or don't run there anymore.

 

I also think the non-emergency police report is a good idea.

[justLisa]

I would completely freak out. Probably not the best response, but I would. I would carry some kind of defense when running. I hate that I have to feel paranoid but I have heard enough bad stories.

[Abigail4476]

I have a handgun permit.

 

Maybe I need to get a pistol to go with it. Ironically, I've been licensed to carry for years and carried a gun a total of twice. Our pistol is very big and heavy, but maybe I need to find a smaller one with a holster that's comfy for running.

 

I would! :iagree: Trust your instincts 100%. I'm a big believer in our ability to read people and have that sixth sense in real situations. Intellectual analysis only goes so far. YOU are the one who actually encountered this guy and your alarm bells went off. Listen to that voice! We could all analyze the situation for you, but our opinions aren't really that important.

 

I have a friend who runs, and she posted this pair of shorts that holds a gun on her Pinterest page:

 

http://www.armedinheels.com/undertech-undercover-compression-shorts-product-review-pg-12.html?CDpath=3

 

Even if you don't carry a gun, carry pepper spray and your cell phone and don't stop to talk to anyone when you're running alone. There's no need for you to be polite. If someone tries to wave you down, cross the road and yell at them, "Sorry, can't stop today!" and keep on running. Your safety is your number one priority. :grouphug:

[Carol in Cal.]

I agree with what you're saying- it is shocking that we live in such fear and know so many people who are victims of rape and assault. But how exactly should we go about "not tolerating" violence?

 

Well, I think that we should start by not accepting it as sort of normal. Some of the advice women get (not on this thread though) borders on blaming the victim. We have to resist that. And we should speak up about how prevalent this is, and how unthinkable. And we should push for aggressive prosecution, and watch the culture change. Look at how uncommon it is now to drive drunk, and how MADD has changed society's view of responsibility in that situation. We need something similar for violence against women. And it needs to be taught to men as well as to women.