MidwesternMom Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 The other day, two friends were having a conversation in which one said that after more than 15 years with her husband, she could not remember the last time she felt proud of him. She wondered if that was common for couples who've been together a long time, or whether it was just her. I told her I would ask the hive for their own experiences because I only know my own marriage well enough to answer for myself. So here's her question: If you're in your second decade of marriage, are you more proud of your husband than when you married him, or less proud? If you're more proud, why? If you're less proud, why? Discuss! :bigear: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Definitely more proud. I won't go into a million details, but he's a great husband and father, and a decent and honest person, and he's always doing something that makes me proud of him. :001_wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 The other day, two friends were having a conversation in which one said that after more than 15 years with her husband, she could not remember the last time she felt proud of him. She wondered if that was common for couples who've been together a long time, or whether it was just her. I told her I would ask the hive for their own experiences because I only know my own marriage well enough to answer for myself. So here's her question: If you're in your second decade of marriage, are you more proud of your husband than when you married him, or less proud? If you're more proud, why? If you're less proud, why? Discuss! :bigear: That is so sad. :( I've been married for 11 years, but I would say that I feel proud of my husband on a daily basis. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I am more proud of DH now than I was when we married. He has grown into fatherhood. It definitely didn't come naturally to him. He has grown into married life. (We both have on that one!) And professionally, I'm so proud of his intellect, I could bust a cork. :001_smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Oh gosh way more proud! We're working on our third decade. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) My dh rocks :) I cannot think of anyone I know that doesn't think that way, um, nope. My friends and I are always bragging on our husbands. I try to temper myself from talking to much about his awesomeness :) We've been married 13 yrs here, I love him more every year and likewise for him. Edited August 24, 2012 by soror Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the4Rs Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I am more proud of my husband now than when we first married. Many reasons: he surrendered his life to Christ, he is an active father, he works hard each day to provide for us, and a myriad of other reasons.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 12 years this October. I'm proud of him every day! Even on the ones when he really ticks me off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tammyw Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 We just celebrated 13 years of marriage. :D I guess I can say I am more proud of my husband now than I was then, though I've always been proud of him honestly. I only say more now, because I think as we grow and mature, we get better. Some of the things I admire: - Amazing husband (very sentimental, thoughtful and patient with me) - Amazing father (when not at work, he does everything with us, takes days off to do field trips, enjoys shopping and playing games, etc.) - Very supportive of me and homeschooling. He's my biggest cheerleader, and absolutely my best friend. - Has done amazing things in his career - always improving things, improving himself, etc. This feels super braggy, but I do like the idea of being able to shout out my admiration for my husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ohdanigirl Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Does she mean proud to be married to him? Or proud of his accomplishments? something else? Marriage has it's ups and downs. There are times when I am not that happy with dh for something, but I am always in love with him. I am proud of the man he has become. Of the fact that he has overcome so much, and really works his butt off to move our family forward. He had basically zero opportunities as a child. His mother took him out of school after 6th grade, because she felt he should work and take care of her other 5 kids. We were married very young, and even through some very tough times he insisted our marriage was something he would never walk away from. We took in his brothers and sisters and he often worked two jobs so that I could be at home, teaching them and 4 our kids. I can't recall a time that he ever complained, or felt sorry for himself. In fact, he accepts the things that happened in the past, because they have made him into who he is today. He even managed to forgive his mother for some truly horrible things. He may not be fancy, rich, or even a people pleaser, but he is probably a better person than most. So yes, I am prouder of him every day that I am married to him. Danielle Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
---- Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I'm proud of my dh everyday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 That is horrible! I have been married 17 years and I am proud of my husband. He can do just about anything. He has moved up in his career, he is a scoutmaster assistant at scouts, he can fix just about anything broken (other than a computer, but we won't go there!) and he is very loving and caring towards us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) Definitely proud of my husband. We just celebrated our 18th anniversary last week. No, he doesn't have many "accomplishments" under his belt as much of the world would see it. He does work his tail off for his family, he loves us, he is generous and kind to those around him, has a huge heart for others, and is a wonderful husband and father. He has his flaws, but he puts up with me and my flaws. I love him dearly. Edited August 24, 2012 by mommaduck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[email protected] Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Reminder. Board rules. Just a reminder. Moderator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Wow, yes, I am proud of him! He is amazing, IMO! We started dating in 1991. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 We've been married 13 years and I am very proud of him! I started to type out all of the reasons why, and it felt too personal. :tongue_smilie: I agree with many of the great things pps have said about their husbands. I'm sad for your friend. :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) I am extremely proud of my husband. He is smart, a fantastic dad and fun to be around. I am proud that he has built a business, is generous to those in need and he is also very proud of me:D. I met him in 1980 ....and we were married in '85..... I grow more proud of him every year. Edited August 24, 2012 by Mommyfaithe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Since hubby bashing is not allowed on this board, and to say you aren't proud of your hubby is getting pretty close to bashing him, then there is no real way for this informal poll to be anything but one sided. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 We got married in 1989, and heck yeah I'm proud of him! :001_wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Coming up on 16 yrs. Im more proud as time goes on. He is a blessing and a gift to me and our children. He is the person that everyone knows, the moment they meet him, is an amazing person. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Since hubby bashing is not allowed on this board, and to say you aren't proud of your hubby is getting pretty close to bashing him, then there is no real way for this informal poll to be anything but one sided. :iagree: I don't really understand the question though. Proud to be married to him? Or proud OF him? That just sounds strange to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 :iagree: I don't really understand the question though. Proud to be married to him? Or proud OF him? That just sounds strange to me. I'm proud to be married to dh and of him. I don't think voting that you aren't proud violates board rules, I think going into a long diatribe of why your dh sucks would. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 We just finished our first decade, and I am way more proud of him now. He has grown into such a wonderful husband and father, and has dealt with a lot of issues that made things difficult for him and for us as a couple when we first got married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Married 24 yrs. 2 months...more proud! Big, puffed up, chest, huge grin, and most of the time, I can't brag about him enough, but I don't do that too much. He's my best friend and a wonderful father. Faith Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 A-yup. He is amazing in so many ways. We have had ups and downs but both of us feel like we are in a whole new honeymoon phase as we cross the 10 year mark (married 2/2002.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stayseeliz Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Married twelve years here. I'm more proud of him now for sure. We were young and naive-in grad school- when we got married. We encountered some major diversity and he's really grown up. He's pretty cool! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigitte Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 The only problem is that those who are more proud are far more likely to respond than those who are not..................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 13 years this November and I'm super proud of my DH. Heck, he finished a retaining wall and laid sod tonight after working in an office all day. Go DH! :D He's an amazing father and sweet husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheTwinsMom1 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 We are not married but this December we will have been together 11 years and I feel nothing but pride for him each day. He gets up, goes to a job that he is starting to dislike, and comes home to us each day. He makes me proud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidwesternMom Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 I don't think not being actively proud of someone is the same as bashing them, so I hope the thread won't get off course. I think the friend who brought this up means proud OF him--not his looks or how he appears as a husband, but who he actually is. From what she said, when they first were married she was proud of him: his character, his intellect, his behavior. Without bashing anyone, it's safe to say that in the years between then and now, not all of his behavior has been praiseworthy and some has been downright alarming. She recently realized she can't remember the last time she thought of him with pride. Most of of the comments here have mirrored my own thoughts. During our years together, I have seen more and more to be proud of my DH for--as a father, a son, a husband, a teacher, etc. He was (obviously) a son when I met him, but he wasn't in any of those other roles yet and so our time together has provided me with many new opportunities to realize he's awesome and feel proud. I feel sad for my friend that it's gone the other way for her. :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 We have been married for 24 years, and I am super proud of my hubby!!! He is amazing and I love him to pieces!! :001_wub: He is so incredibly kind and considerate. He is always doing things for me and he always puts me and the kids first. He works so hard and he never says anything no matter how much money and spend on curriculum. :D He's incredibly supportive and he never says anything rude or mean or snarky to me. That was something that was so important to me in a spouse. I did not want a critical husband, or one who raised his voice in anger, or one who couldn't apologize when he was in the wrong. To me that is a sign of an ugly person, and I wanted no part of it. I can't tell you how many times I say a silent thank you for my dh when I hear some of the things other women have to deal with. So yes, I am totally bragging, but I am SO proud of my dh that I'm going to do it anyway. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Since hubby bashing is not allowed on this board, and to say you aren't proud of your hubby is getting pretty close to bashing him, then there is no real way for this informal poll to be anything but one sided. Yeah... Though feeling "proud" of your dh and still feeling in love, content, like he's a good husband, etc. might be different... That said, I'm way proud of dh. :001_wub: For many reasons, but here's one... In the last couple years, he has taken up acting and is performing in his second show - both have been very well reviewed and his small part was said to have "stolen the show" in one of the reviews! Woohoo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Yeah... Though feeling "proud" of your dh and still feeling in love, content, like he's a good husband, etc. might be different... That said, I'm way proud of dh. :001_wub: For many reasons, but here's one... In the last couple years, he has taken up acting and is performing in his second show - both have been very well reviewed and his small part was said to have "stolen the show" in one of the reviews! Woohoo! Well then to make this thread a little less one sided....I married my dh out of necessity and I feel about the same, or close to it, as I did when I married him. I don't think I could say I'm proud of him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Oh, absolutely NOT. We have been married 20 years, and I am much more proud now now that I was when we were 25. He is a good son, a great father, a loving husband, a good provider. He makes everything we do fun. He is so smart, and can solve anything...fix anything. Honestly, what is there not to be proud of? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tammyw Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Yeah... Though feeling "proud" of your dh and still feeling in love, content, like he's a good husband, etc. might be different... That said, I'm way proud of dh. :001_wub: For many reasons, but here's one... In the last couple years, he has taken up acting and is performing in his second show - both have been very well reviewed and his small part was said to have "stolen the show" in one of the reviews! Woohoo! I love that! How neat that he entered acting as an adult! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twinmami01 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) We just recently celebrated 14 years of marriage and I have to say I'm more proud of him now. We have had our ups and downs through the years but he is a wonderful father and husband and he makes me proud. He is hardworking, a wonderful provider and has a heart for others. He is always looking for a way to bless others. At the end of the day I am so grateful for him. That's not to say we have our moments. I think it's sad that she feels that way. Edited August 24, 2012 by twinmami01 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Married 16 years. Proud of him all the time. Dh makes it easy, though; he really is a stand up guy. He's a passionate special education advocate who makes a difference in many families' lives, he treats me like a priceless treasure, and he spends literally every minute at work or with us. I know some people are married to men who aren't so wonderful, and I admire them when they see the best, but I also support them when they need to make the best decision for their and their dc's wellbeing. OTOH, I think some people focus so much on what is wrong with the other person, without ever considering that they might have just a few faults themselves ;). I have known women like that. After a list of "he did this," "he did that," I mention that it might help to think of the last time they did something and their dh gave them grace. That usually just makes them mad at me (I was supposed to help them bash dh, I'm sure, but I know the score) but I think it's important to hear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Working on our 22nd year of marriage. I am so proud of him and am blessed to currently being madly, passionately in love with him - that hasn't always been the case. Marriage is hard and we have struggled like a lot of people. For us it could have gone either way and I feel like we are being rewarded for all the hard work and struggle we've put into this marriage. Coming out the other side of hard times has been very sweet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shellers Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 We've been married 17 years and I am VERY proud of my DH! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kb44 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Together over 20 years. Absolutely adore the man (most of the time!) and am so proud and awed at what he has accomplished, what kind of man he continues to be, and how much love he shares with his family. :001_wub: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMV Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) Our marriage has certainly been tested over the years. After our daughter's death it took us a long time to be able to grieve together and support each other. Even during the years we were really struggling my husband was always on my side and was completely committed to being the best dad he could be (which is a very amazing one---our kids are blessed). We have managed to come back together in all ways. The love was always there but we can communicate and understand each other in a way we really couldn't when we were struggling. So, yes, after more than fifteen years (approaching nineteen) I am still very proud of the amazing man and father I married. He's also very handsome (perhaps comparatively moreso than when I married him because he has aged well) and he has a wonderful voice (and he sings our kids to sleep which is quite endearing). But more than that he's just a great guy he does what he believes is right in his heart even if it isn't the easier or more popular choice. Our kids are growing up seeing that on a daily basis and they're better people for it. Edited August 24, 2012 by LMV Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5wolfcubs Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 (edited) I am more proud of DH now than I was when we married. He has grown into fatherhood. It definitely didn't come naturally to him. He has grown into married life. (We both have on that one!) And professionally, I'm so proud of his intellect, I could bust a cork. :001_smile: With the exception of the fact that I live in VA instead of MI, this is just about what I would've written. :D Just today I put this list of things on my pinterest board (contains some Christian ideas) of 50 Ways to Inspire Your Husband. I need to remember to let him know I'm proud of him! Instead of just the 820 viewing the General Board tonight... :lol: Oh, ETA that we've been married 19 years! Edited August 24, 2012 by 5wolfcubs 19 years! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneezyone Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 If you're in your second decade of marriage, are you more proud of your husband than when you married him, or less proud? If you're more proud, why? If you're less proud, why? Discuss! :bigear: After 14 years, I am shout-it-from-the-rooftops proud. When we married at 18 and 22, he was a man-child. Now he's just a man. He's a practicing feminist in the mold of Aaronnette White's study AND he's military. Go figure. He values education and puts his money and time where his mouth is for himself and for our kids. He respects me, loves me, spoils me and does the same for our kids. He plans for us, saves for us, and thinks of us always. He's a fantastic provider (although I'm not too shabby myself) and he voluntarily humbled himself and started his career all over at the entry level to make our golden years more golden. Oh, and he's tall, slim and good lookin' too (in an Alfred Newman kinda way)! :D Yeah, I'm proud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 More proud now . . . My dh is a good, honest, hard working man. He provides for us and takes care of us. He is a great father and is very patient with our son who has autism. I am a very lucky lady! :001_smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Married 27 years and proud of him? Yes. He is smart, funny, caring, kind, generous, creative, faithful...he rocks. I am so blessed to be married to my husband. We've gone through some rough times but honestly, the longer we are together, the happier, more content with, more in love with each other we are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 We've been married 10 years and yes, I'm proud of him. He works hard for our family, he's very well respected among the people who work with him and at church. He's a great guy. I'd marry him all over again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunnylady303 Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I'll help even things out - in a general way (not that I have any desire to share the inner workings of my marriage with the internet :)). I am less proud of my DH than I was when we were married. We just celebrated our ten year anniversary. I love him dearly and am solidly committed to him but...I have watched him shed more and more responsibility until he is less a partner and more another child. I don't think he knows how to be strong and content. It makes me sad for him. I am sad for me too but I still feel glad to be married to him. He loves us my girls and me but I see him more clearly now. And sometimes its painful. I try to focus on what I do love and on the joy of committing to someone fully. But I think you are right, it is a sad thing. **Someone tell me if I am skating too close to board rules. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 I've been married 14 1/2 years and am very proud of my husband. He is the most generous and honest person I have ever known in my whole life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in NE Posted August 24, 2012 Share Posted August 24, 2012 Going on 19 years here, and definitely more proud of him today than the day I married him. With each passing year I appreciate him more. I really didn't realize the gem I was getting the day I married him.... I just knew I loved him! But we have crossed many bridges, and overcome many challenges since then, and he continues to exceed anything I could ever hope for in each situation. Yup, I pretty much feel like I won the lotto in the husband category!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidwesternMom Posted August 24, 2012 Author Share Posted August 24, 2012 I appreciate the openness of those who said they are less proud, and I can (from looking at my friend's situation) understand that and sympathize. Many of the other comments point out that it can feel kind of braggy to list all the things you think are great about your DH. And I think that might be why my friend suspected that it was "typical" to not feel any pride in one's husband after many years of marriage and knowing "the real him." After all, this board aside, husband-bashing (even if it is just light, joking, and humorous) is a daily occurence when wives get together and she probably has heard a thousand more complaints about husbands than praises of them when getting together with friends, etc. I have several divorced friends and I do in fact tone down my praises of my DH around them because otherwise it can feel like I am gloating about something they don't have and I don't want to be rude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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