How far would you go?

[Supertechmom]

I just saw a report of the financial woes of the Olympic athletes families (a couple of them - Gabby and Lochte ??) and i wondered how far would you go to see your child to the Olympic Gold?

 

The two mentioned above, their parents are in bankruptcy. I just can't fathom that. Yes, I would support my child in their passion but if it meant not paying the bills or losing the family home to keep the child in training.......... I don't think I could go that far. I believe I would have to draw the line in the sand. What says the hive?

[PeacefulChaos]

I just saw a report of the financial woes of the Olympic athletes families (a couple of them - Gabby and Lochte ??) and i wondered how far would you go to see your child to the Olympic Gold?

 

The two mentioned above, their parents are in bankruptcy. I just can't fathom that. Yes, I would support my child in their passion but if it meant not paying the bills or losing the family home to keep the child in training.......... I don't think I could go that far. I believe I would have to draw the line in the sand. What says the hive?

 

I'm kind of with you.

But I can't say for sure. I think it's one of those things that you can't tell unless you're in the situation, kwim? It's tough...

[Chris in VA]

I certainly couldn't go that far. Maybe, tho, it would depend on what point during the training you were told the child had Olympic potential.

We wouldn't even find out because we didn't start our kids young enough to put in all the hours you need to get to the point where they would show that potential.

[Tap]

Hard decision.

 

Once they are competing at national level, it would be hard to tell them.....sorry, hun, I know you have worked on this goal 6 hours a day for 8 years, but we are out of money fo you to continue 1 more year until the Olympics.....where you can get sponsorships, fame, admiration of you countrymen, and one of the highest honors in your sport.

[Supertechmom]

Gosh ya'll are quick. Posted a poll!

[Impish]

Wolf and I saw a story on a Canadian athlete...thinking figure skater...who talked about her sibs going w/out winter coats if not for the town pitching in and supplying them b/c her parent's $ went to figure skating for her.

 

Imo, that's completely wrong.

[Tap]

Wolf and I saw a story on a Canadian athlete...thinking figure skater...who talked about her sibs going w/out winter coats if not for the town pitching in and supplying them b/c her parent's $ went to figure skating for her.

 

Imo, that's completely wrong.

 

I don't know this story, but I wonder how it actually played out? I can see a family putting everything into one child and telling everyone else they have to sacrafice....or I can see a town saying "wow, we have an amazing athlete in our town, how can we help the family". Two very different scenarios.

[Supertechmom]

Hard decision.

 

Once they are competing at national level, it would be hard to tell them.....sorry, hun, I know you have worked on this goal 6 hours a day for 8 years, but we are out of money fo you to continue 1 more year until the Olympics.....where you can get sponsorships, fame, admiration of you countrymen, and one of the highest honors in your sport.

 

 

That's true. If the end is in sight....with one kid I could certainly seeing saying "we ain't stopping yet!! " but having several now... I don't see telling one child yes we will march toward that gold at all costs and then deny the others with the hopes of repayment or something when sibling makes it big. Sibling could get a gold at Olympics or fall flat on their face and get nothing. Very tough call I would think.

[Joker]

I had a childhood friend that Bela Karolyi (sp?) wanted to train. Her parents said no. I remember thinking at the time they had to be crazy. Now as a parent, I don't think I could do it either.

[BatmansWife]

I just saw a report of the financial woes of the Olympic athletes families (a couple of them - Gabby and Lochte ??) and i wondered how far would you go to see your child to the Olympic Gold?

 

The two mentioned above, their parents are in bankruptcy. I just can't fathom that. Yes, I would support my child in their passion but if it meant not paying the bills or losing the family home to keep the child in training.......... I don't think I could go that far. I believe I would have to draw the line in the sand. What says the hive?

 

That's too bad about bankruptcy...I know what that's like. I haven't really gotten to follow any of the olympics. Did either of them win medals, maybe multiple medals? Hopefully they'll be able to help their families out with the money they'll get. It's like $25,000 for each gold medal (although, they have to pay taxes on it).

 

[Supertechmom]

I don't know this story, but I wonder how it actually played out? I can see a family putting everything into one child and telling everyone else they have to sacrafice....or I can see a town saying "wow, we have an amazing athlete in our town, how can we help the family". Two very different scenarios.

 

 

Yep, I'm with IMP. IT would be dead wrong in my opinion but I could see a town giving my kids what they needed so we could continue to train the other. But if that was the feeling, I think I would rather they supported the athlete and helped with that. I would hate my other kids to grow up thinking they couldn't even get a coat because of sibling's trainer required all the money and they were the town's charity case.

[Rebel Yell]

We go over our budget... we could drive a better car and buy a nice couch if the girls didn;t dance or do Karate. But we'd have nowhere to drive that nice car to and we'd wear out that couch from staying home and sitting on it. :glare:

 

but we pay all of our bills and aren't on any assistance programs, so we do OK- what suffers is savings. But we're OK with that for now.

[lmrich]

I had this discussion today with my dd. She is one of three. Her dive schedule can not intefere with her siblings needs. Luckily, we found another coach who can work within our time frame and budget. I would NEVER go into debt for that. One injury and it is all over. That is a silly risk in my opinion.

[Joker]

That's too bad about bankruptcy...I know what that's like. I haven't really gotten to follow any of the olympics. Did either of them win medals, maybe multiple medals? Hopefully they'll be able to help their families out with the money they'll get. It's like $25,000 for each gold medal (although, they have to pay taxes on it).

 

 

I think for Gabby, it will pay off big time. She's already won two gold medals and already has her face on cereal boxes. I read one article that said she's so marketable she could bring in over 5 million a year in endorsements.:001_huh:

[Annie G]

I'm not sure I could devote our whole life to a child's Olympic dream. How many start that path and never make it?

 

What I find more appalling is Dominique Moceanu's parents placing their second born child for adoption, citing that her special needs couldn't be financially met. That happened when Dominique was six, and the parents (both former gymnasts) were already a couple of years into her gymnastics training. They wanted her to be an Olympian from a very young age.

 

 

For what I read, Gabby's mom went on disability in 2009 and her bankruptcy is minor compared to many. She has a small amount of debt and has a plan to pay it back.

[FaithManor]

It's one of those very intense, personal decisions.

 

In my case, not sports, my parents paid for piano lessons, masterclasses, etc. when they hardly had two pennies to rub together. But, I do know that those things would have been pulled if they had not the money to pay the mortgage, heat the house, put food on the table, etc. There were two other siblings in the house and their well-being had to be worth as much as mine. I do know that my dad once exchanged a fireplace for a newer piano and he gave free chimney cleanings and furnace maintenance to some piano teachers in exchange for lessons. But again, none of my other sibs suffered because he chose to do this.

 

My grandparents usually went once per year and paid two months of piano lessons in advance to help them out. I didn't find out about that until I was an adult. Sigh....I don't like the idea of it, but I can tell you my grandfather would have gotten huffy with me if I had found out about and tried to prevent him from doing that.

 

In our case, we have four children and I do not believe we could personally go to that extreme for one child. I don't think I could give that message, "You are more special than they are" to my kids. I think it would be easier to arrive at that place of being willing to bankrupt oneself if there was only a single child because you don't have that consideration. However, I would be willing to work nights, muck out A LOT OF STALLS, work the quilt store, probably even go back to that HORRIBLE school guidance counselor job, etc. in order to help a child achieve at that level if their natural talent and training meant they could make it that far. There are a lot of things I would do, but bankrupting myself and leaving the other children in financial fear or without any funds for their own passions is not going to pass muster with dh and me.

 

Faith

[PhotoGal]

I wouldn't go all the way to bankruptcy for sure. I would be willing to work, fundraise, tight budget, get creative, that kind of thing. I would probably ask family for help if that was an option. Maybe dip into the college fund, but not use it all. I would expect the coach/gym/whatever to work with us as well.

 

I think putting all your eggs in one basket like that is dangerous, though. One bad injury and it could all be over. Scary!

[Mommyfaithe]

I wouldn't go all the way to bankruptcy for sure. I would be willing to work, fundraise, tight budget, get creative, that kind of thing. I would probably ask family for help if that was an option. Maybe dip into the college fund, but not use it all. I would expect the coach/gym/whatever to work with us as well.

 

I think putting all your eggs in one basket like that is dangerous, though. One bad injury and it could all be over. Scary!

 

Yep...and a child's dream of a Division 1 scholarship can be over with one tick bite.....:glare:

[wintermom]

I'd much rather spread the opportunities over a few activities in the pre-teen years. If the individual showed potential for skill and interest to get really serious about an activity in the teens (particularly the mid to late teens), then I'd support it as much as possible. This would include music training as well as athletic training (dance, too, though my dc are not interested in dance after the initial classes). In addition, there are usually more options available through schools/colleges for older teens to further the training than there are for young children.

 

Even if there was a "career" ending injury in one activity (or just a change of mind for whatever reason), they would have other options to pursue, or even try something completely different.

Edited August 7, 2012 by wintermom

[Parrothead]

It would really depend. Dd's passion is dance and I'm willing to pay for whatever is available (where we live) for her to follow that passion. But she doesn't want to do anything with it other than teach kids to dance. So I can't say if I'd consider bankruptcy in order for her to go to Julliard or where ever.

[PiCO]

I just saw a report of the financial woes of the Olympic athletes families (a couple of them - Gabby and Lochte ??) and i wondered how far would you go to see your child to the Olympic Gold?

 

The two mentioned above, their parents are in bankruptcy. I just can't fathom that. Yes, I would support my child in their passion but if it meant not paying the bills or losing the family home to keep the child in training.......... I don't think I could go that far. I believe I would have to draw the line in the sand. What says the hive?

 

I would not go bankrupt. I was an elite level gymnast who did not make the Olympics. Of course, the year that I would have had an outside chance was 1980, and the US didn't send a team- so I'm kind of glad I quit before that. One of the girls I know who made the team let that ruin a good part of her life.

 

I have a dd who is very good at gymnastics. (She's 13 and a level 10.) People are always asking me if she's going to test elite... I've always said I would never want a dd of mine to go elite, and I'm happy to say that she does not want to.

 

Would I support her if that's the route she wanted to take? Probably. But I would not let her life revolve around only gymnastics.

 

I heard a story a few Olympics ago, where a figure skater had moved to Colorado Springs with her father. Her bedroom was literally a closet. All the family's money was spent on lessons (and figure skating makes gymnastics look cheap.) She didn't make the team, and I never heard of her again. You can't even get a college scholarship for figure skating.

 

I wonder how many families loose everything on an Olympic Dream. I tell people on a regular basis they are better off putting the money in a college savings account. If you can afford it, great- sports can be a fantastic experience. But you don't need to train at the Olympic level to gain the benefits of sport.

[PiCO]

We go over our budget... we could drive a better car and buy a nice couch if the girls didn;t dance or do Karate. But we'd have nowhere to drive that nice car to and we'd wear out that couch from staying home and sitting on it. :glare:

 

but we pay all of our bills and aren't on any assistance programs, so we do OK- what suffers is savings. But we're OK with that for now.

 

To me, that's not going over your budget. That's re-allocating your budget. You're not going into debt for it.

[Melissa in Australia]

I would not spend money like that.

[Catwoman]

I think for Gabby, it will pay off big time. She's already won two gold medals and already has her face on cereal boxes. I read one article that said she's so marketable she could bring in over 5 million a year in endorsements.:001_huh:

 

While that's nice for Gabby's family, she is one of a handful of people who will win Olympic medals or score lucrative endorsement deals. Common sense dictates that the vast majority of parents who make huge financial commitments to keep their child in a sport will never, ever see that money back.

 

My personal feeling is that, if you can afford to help your child, that's fine, but it's foolish to risk financial ruin for it. And it's tacky to ask others to pay for things like winter coats for your other kids because you spent all of your own money on lessons for one child.

 

I don't think this is a decision that you make when your child is ready to compete in the Nationals. It's something that the family should have discussed and agreed upon as soon as the child showed promise in the particular endeavor.

 

It's great for a child to have a dream, but the entire family's well-being should be more important than one kid's ambition to make it to the Olympics (or pro football, or major league baseball, or whatever.)

[justamouse]

Hard decision.

 

Once they are competing at national level, it would be hard to tell them.....sorry, hun, I know you have worked on this goal 6 hours a day for 8 years, but we are out of money fo you to continue 1 more year until the Olympics.....where you can get sponsorships, fame, admiration of you countrymen, and one of the highest honors in your sport.

 

:iagree:

 

It all depends on the kid.

[justamouse]

While that's nice for Gabby's family, she is one of a handful of people who will win Olympic medals or score lucrative endorsement deals. Common sense dictates that the vast majority of parents who make huge financial commitments to keep their child in a sport will never, ever see that money back.

 

My personal feeling is that, if you can afford to help your child, that's fine, but it's foolish to risk financial ruin for it. And it's tacky to ask others to pay for things like winter coats for your other kids because you spent all of your own money on lessons for one child.

 

I don't think this is a decision that you make when your child is ready to compete in the Nationals. It's something that the family should have discussed and agreed upon as soon as the child showed promise in the particular endeavor.

 

It's great for a child to have a dream, but the entire family's well-being should be more important than one kid's ambition to make it to the Olympics (or pro football, or major league baseball, or whatever.)

 

That's true, too.

 

Thankfully, I have no sports oriented kids, so I don't have to make these decisions.

[Soror]

While that's nice for Gabby's family, she is one of a handful of people who will win Olympic medals or score lucrative endorsement deals. Common sense dictates that the vast majority of parents who make huge financial commitments to keep their child in a sport will never, ever see that money back.

 

My personal feeling is that, if you can afford to help your child, that's fine, but it's foolish to risk financial ruin for it. And it's tacky to ask others to pay for things like winter coats for your other kids because you spent all of your own money on lessons for one child.

 

I don't think this is a decision that you make when your child is ready to compete in the Nationals. It's something that the family should have discussed and agreed upon as soon as the child showed promise in the particular endeavor.

 

It's great for a child to have a dream, but the entire family's well-being should be more important than one kid's ambition to make it to the Olympics (or pro football, or major league baseball, or whatever.)

:iagree:

I think it is a very, very foolish thing to do. I wouldn't gamble my future retirement for some remote possibility. I don't like catfood. Living below our means, pinching pennies, trying raise money, yes in a heartbeat, but I would still make sure our financial future was in place first(not a lavish future mind you). I wouldn't gamble my life or my family's life against the remote odds of success, fame and fortune.

Edited August 7, 2012 by soror

[Impish]

I don't know this story, but I wonder how it actually played out? I can see a family putting everything into one child and telling everyone else they have to sacrafice....or I can see a town saying "wow, we have an amazing athlete in our town, how can we help the family". Two very different scenarios.

It was an interview w/the athlete herself, and she was saying how the town brought them winter coats b/c they didn't have them, b/c her parents $ went to her figure skating.

 

Remembering her interview, both Wolf and I reacted to it, so it def wasn't the town wanting to support an athlete, rather kids were cold b/c the parents spent the $ on skating instead of taking care of basic needs.

[pdalley]

I'm not sure I could devote our whole life to a child's Olympic dream. How many start that path and never make it?

 

What I find more appalling is Dominique Moceanu's parents placing their second born child for adoption, citing that her special needs couldn't be financially met. That happened when Dominique was six, and the parents (both former gymnasts) were already a couple of years into her gymnastics training. They wanted her to be an Olympian from a very young age.

 

 

For what I read, Gabby's mom went on disability in 2009 and her bankruptcy is minor compared to many. She has a small amount of debt and has a plan to pay it back.

 

I wonder too if Gabby's mom had been keeping her head above water before the economic downturn and then just couldn't any longer?

 

And I agree about Dominique - I'm on the waiting list to read her book - but it sounds like her father was pretty much the ruler of that household. I remember she got a restraining order on him at one point.

[Jenny in Florida]

I had to go with "other." We fall somewhere in between the "carboard box" and "maybe" options.

 

Truthfully, we support our kids' passions at the expense of other things now, and neither of them is remotely close to winning Olympic gold. We don't own a home. We don't go on vacations like other folks we know who are in the same income bracket. I have no real jewelry beyond my engagement and wedding rings, etc.

 

We put much of our discretionary income into experiences and education for our kids.

 

I think I, personally, lean closer to the cardboard box answer, in that I would absolutely do everything in my power to support a child who was truly passionate and talented at something. However, I would stop short of bankruptcy or foreclosure if those extremes would be disruptive to other family members.

 

And, for what it's worth, my choice to support or not would have next to nothing to do with any potential financial payout. It would be entirely dependent on whether I believed -- and the child in question believed -- that the goal being pursued was worthy in its own right.

[Jenny in Florida]

I don't think this is a decision that you make when your child is ready to compete in the Nationals. It's something that the family should have discussed and agreed upon as soon as the child showed promise in the particular endeavor.

 

I agree with this, too. One of the things my husband and I have always felt strongly about was never letting a kid start an activity if we weren't prepared to follow it through to the end.

 

When our daughter got her first performance gig outside of community theatre, she was eight. We sat down and discussed how far we were willing to go to support what was already becoming a passion for her. We talked about what would happen if she were to start auditioning for things farther away from home or for touring companies, and we kept talking until we agreed on a plan.

 

As it turned out, it never became an issue. But I didn't ever want us to be forced to make that kind of decision in haste and without time to discuss.

[KrissiK]

I put "other". I may go over budget, but not face financial ruin. IMHO, that would be just plain foolish, no matter how talented my kid is.

[Catwoman]

I agree with this, too. One of the things my husband and I have always felt strongly about was never letting a kid start an activity if we weren't prepared to follow it through to the end.

 

When our daughter got her first performance gig outside of community theatre, she was eight. We sat down and discussed how far we were willing to go to support what was already becoming a passion for her. We talked about what would happen if she were to start auditioning for things farther away from home or for touring companies, and we kept talking until we agreed on a plan.

 

As it turned out, it never became an issue. But I didn't ever want us to be forced to make that kind of decision in haste and without time to discuss.

 

I think you and your dh handled it perfectly. Too many people fail to think of what the future may hold.

[Jean in Newcastle]

This already came up for us two years ago. Dd had talent and drive but we were getting upside down in our bills because of her gymnastics bills. We pulled the plug. The gym offered us a very very good deal to let her continue to train because they believed in her talent. We thought seriously about it and plugged in the numbers and it still would have had us deep in debt esp. as we looked at the long haul. She is still sad. I still feel some guilt but also a peace that we really couldn't have made another choice.

[Unicorn.]

I voted other also. I wouldn't live in a cardboard box, but I would get as many jobs as I could to pay for it. . I'm realistic though, and know not every kid w/ a bit of talent will make it, and mortgaging my house is not an option.

Edited August 7, 2012 by Unicorn

[Audrey]

Wolf and I saw a story on a Canadian athlete...thinking figure skater...who talked about her sibs going w/out winter coats if not for the town pitching in and supplying them b/c her parent's $ went to figure skating for her.

 

Imo, that's completely wrong.

 

 

But Imp, surely you know parents who will go broke pushing their kid through hockey because they totally believe they've got the next Gretzky. I know at least a dozen in my teeny tiny town.

 

I say "NO" to it all. We may budget a modest amount for it, but we do not break the bank for leisure. Sports are for leisure. Period.

[annandatje]

I accidentally clicked "maybe..." when I meant "would not spend over the budget."

[LibraryLover]

I don't want to imagine it. Passions and talents are hard to ignore. You might say no, and end up with a very depressed child.

 

I really don't know what I would do, never having experienced this.

 

I thought the swimmer kid had a $$$$ grill. He could sell it.

 

Gabby? She is amazing. I have not seen her on TV, or in action, but I have seen the photos. How could one say no to that sort of talent?

Edited August 7, 2012 by LibraryLover

[A.Balaban]

No. I have a budget. I keep to the budget. Entertainment/leisure activities get dropped first.

[Rosy]

I clicked maybe. We put a lot of time into DD11s karate. We are fortunate to have found a non-profit that offers an extremely high caliber of training for a reasonable amount of money. We make a lot of time sacrifices to support her, and I don't know what the limit is, but I know it's there. IMO, kids who are that good at sports will excel at whatever they put their minds to, and I could see us deciding to put a talented kid on the team at the high school and shoot for college scholarships.