A rant: victim blaming/criticizing -- CO shootings

[msjones]

I am so angered reading ill-timed comments like, "who would let their child attend a midnight showing?" Or, "what kind of mother would bring a baby to a movie at midnight?"

 

A woman was raped in her apartment near here last week. She was studying in her own home with her window open on a stuffy summer night. I was sickened by the number of critical comments in our papers: "doesn't she know she shouldn't keep her window open at night?" or "why didn't she own a gun if she wants to live alone?"

 

These are people who have been terrorized and traumatized by violent criminals. Save the cold criticism for a later time, please.

[Caroline]

I am so angered reading ill-timed comments like, "who would let their child attend a midnight showing?" Or, "what kind of mother would bring a baby to a movie at midnight?"

 

A woman was raped in her apartment near here last week. She was studying in her own home with her window open on a stuffy summer night. I was sickened by the number of critical comments in our papers: "doesn't she know she shouldn't keep her window open at night?" or "why didn't she own a gun if she wants to live alone?"

 

These are people who have been terrorized and traumatized by violent criminals. Save the cold criticism for a later time, please.

 

Thank you!

[OH_Homeschooler]

I agree. And you know what? There are worse things than taking a 3 month old to a late-night movie they won't even comprehend, like leaving the baby at home alone. Some people can't win.

 

It's basic psychology though--blaming the victim. If you think you can find a reason it happened to someone else and that they brought it on themselves, it makes you feel like you are more in control and it can't happen to you.

[lionfamily1999]

Yeah, it is not the best time for attacking them. :glare:

 

Erg.

[Sun]

Oh my. I hadn't seen the news yet this morning, so I went and read about the CO shootings. Now I'm crying. How incredibly awful. I didn't read the comments. I'm upset enough about the shootings.

[Carol in Cal.]

ITA

[Free Indeed]

I am the mother who letmy son go to a midnight showing of this movie with friends from church. I am also a good mother. So there! :001_tt2::001_tt2:

[Scrub Jay]

Totally agree. I think these victims have enough on their plates and don't need strangers wagging their fingers at them.

[msjones]

It's basic psychology though--blaming the victim. If you think you can find a reason it happened to someone else and that they brought it on themselves, it makes you feel like you are more in control and it can't happen to you.

 

Yes. This sums it up perfectly.

[OH_Homeschooler]

I avoid comments. Really it's like there is an army of trolls online that just go around making ridiculous comments.

 

(Apparently some of those trolls live amongst us in certain threads here.)

[bettyandbob]

my oldest and I were talking about the young victims this morning.

 

I totally understand taking an infant. My youngest was very quiet so he went everywhere I went and slept. I could totally see going to the movie with him as a baby, in fact he went to the first Harry Potter at 3 months when I took my oldest. The infant was not watching the movie.

 

I would totally expect teens to be there. It's summer vacation and a lot of teens were waiting for this. If dd had the opportunity to go last night to our local theater, I would have let her.

 

This is just an event that you can't predict or prepare for.

 

It's awful.

[LittleIzumi]

my oldest and I were talking about the young victims this morning.

 

I totally understand taking an infant. My youngest was very quiet so he went everywhere I went and slept. I could totally see going to the movie with him as a baby, in fact he went to the first Harry Potter at 3 months when I took my oldest. The infant was not watching the movie.

 

I would totally expect teens to be there. It's summer vacation and a lot of teens were waiting for this. If dd had the opportunity to go last night to our local theater, I would have let her.

 

This is just an event that you can't predict or prepare for.

 

It's awful.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree: I had a sleeping baby strapped on me at almost every single Harry Potter midnight showing. So sad. :grouphug:

[Forget-Me-Not]

I avoid comments. Really it's like there is an army of trolls online that just go around making ridiculous comments.

:iagree:

[jewellsmommy]

I agree. And you know what? There are worse things than taking a 3 month old to a late-night movie they won't even comprehend, like leaving the baby at home alone. Some people can't win.

 

It's basic psychology though--blaming the victim. If you think you can find a reason it happened to someone else and that they brought it on themselves, it makes you feel like you are more in control and it can't happen to you.

 

 

Yep, If I wouldn't make that choice, then I could never be that victim.

 

It is also human nature to ponder, take apart, look for patterns, investigate, etc. Sometimes there just isn't a way to understand what we want to understand. We try to apply logic where there is none.

 

 

:grouphug: to the victims.

[msjones]

I avoid comments. Really it's like there is an army of trolls online that just go around making ridiculous comments.

 

Good point. I do blame myself for actually reading the stupid comments.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Well said.

[CandaceC]

:iagree:

[jelbe5]

:iagree: with the original OP

 

From a mental health perspective, this is common. It gives those who are critical a false sense of "power" that such a thing could never happen to them because they would never go to a midnight movie or take take a baby or young child to a midnight movie or leave their window open late at night and so on and so on. It is human nature to lash out like this because none of us want to think we are vulnerable or horrific things such as this could actually happen to us or our loved one.

 

I am not trying to excuse this, just explain it a little. I am sure we are all guilty of thinking "Well I would NEVER . . . " I know I did as a social worker before I had my own children ("I will never have a kid that acts like that!" Then I had my autistic son).

 

It is a somewhat natural but very ugly side of human nature when people feel scared/threatened.

[gardenmom5]

I am so angered reading ill-timed comments like, "who would let their child attend a midnight showing?" Or, "what kind of mother would bring a baby to a movie at midnight?"

 

A woman was raped in her apartment near here last week. She was studying in her own home with her window open on a stuffy summer night. I was sickened by the number of critical comments in our papers: "doesn't she know she shouldn't keep her window open at night?" or "why didn't she own a gun if she wants to live alone?"

 

These are people who have been terrorized and traumatized by violent criminals. Save the cold criticism for a later time, please.

you cannot equate those comments. they are absolutely NOT the same. I would criticize parents taking young children to a midnight almost anything even if it hadn't ended in tragedy. little children should be IN BED at midnight. they really do need more sleep and more consistency than an adult, and sadly, too many young parents don't know enough to treat their young children as children and be an adult. (and as to the: they couldn't get a babysitter - then be an adult and go another time when you can.)

 

the second is reprehensible.

Edited July 20, 2012 by gardenmom5

[bettyandbob]

even if I would never take a 6 year old to a midnight showing of this type of movie, I recognize that an individual parent's decision to OK such attendance had nothing to do with the consequences of the shooting.

 

Going to the movie shouldn't be an inherently dangerous activity. The decision of what type of movie and time of day is up to an individual parent.

 

If that makes any sense. So, I guess some people's dc wouldn't be there simply because of a parental decision on content. But the issue here is physical safety and no one could plan on that.

[OH_Homeschooler]

you cannot equate those comments. they are absolutely NOT the same. I would criticize parents taking young children to a midnight almost anything even if it hadn't ended in tragedy. little children should be IN BED at midnight. they really do need more sleep and more consistency than an adult, and sadly, too many young parents don't know enough to treat their young children as children and be an adult.

 

Would you say that to the parents of the 3 month old being treated after the shooting? They probably aren't feeling bad enough right now.

 

And how do you know they are "young" parents?

Edited July 20, 2012 by OH_Homeschooler

[Lang Syne Boardie]

Hmm.

 

I don't believe in blaming the victims for their physical presence at the scene of a psychopath's chosen location for terror. That's ludicrous.

 

And I don't think it's in very good taste to criticize people who are currently in a crisis, whether their choices had anything to do with it or not.

 

I will certainly hold the private opinion that 6yo children should not be out at midnight watching PG-13 or R-rated movies. I don't think it's old-fashioned to believe that little children should be asleep in bed at that hour and only allowed to watch age-appropriate media during their proper waking hours.

 

I won't dogpile on that other thread because the victims' parenting choices are not the topic, but generally speaking I am quite tired of everyone's parenting choices deserving a rubber stamp of societal approval when some choices are not admirable at all.

[SquirrellyMama]

you cannot equate those comments. they are absolutely NOT the same. I would criticize parents taking young children to a midnight almost anything even if it hadn't ended in tragedy. little children should be IN BED at midnight. they really do need more sleep and more consistency than an adult, and sadly, too many young parents don't know enough to treat their young children as children and be an adult.

 

the second is reprehensible.

 

Sure, little children should be in bed at midnight but can't there be one time when they aren't, for something special? I don't know that any of these parents always let their kids be up at midnight. My kids were up until almost midnight for the fireworks. I usually put them to bed at 8pm. I don't think a handful of times until early am every year is going to hurt.

 

Kelly

Edited July 20, 2012 by kwiech

[OH_Homeschooler]

Sure, little children should be in bed at midnight but can't there be one time when they aren't for something special? I don't know that any of these parents always let their kids be up at midnight. My kids were up until almost midnight for the fireworks. I usually put them to bed at 8pm. I don't think a handful of times until early am every year is going to hurt.

 

Kelly

 

I was just thinking this too. For some people, this movie was a huge event. (Obviously they had midnight showings and it was highly anticipated). So it may have been a really special occasion for these parents and for whatever reason, they couldn't find a babysitter or didn't want to leave their baby with a sitter. They may have felt the baby was safer with them.

[msjones]

you cannot equate those comments. they are absolutely NOT the same. I would criticize parents taking young children to a midnight almost anything even if it hadn't ended in tragedy. little children should be IN BED at midnight. they really do need more sleep and more consistency than an adult, and sadly, too many young parents don't know enough to treat their young children as children and be an adult. (and as to the: they couldn't get a babysitter - then be an adult and go another time when you can.)

 

the second is reprehensible.

 

Gardenmom,

 

I agree with you wholeheartedly regarding bedtimes for little ones. However, I wouldn't publicly air that opinion the morning after a theater full of people were terrorized by a crazed gunman at a late show.

[hillfarm]

Deleted due to the death of a young child in this tragedy. My prayers are with the families.

Edited July 21, 2012 by hillfarm

[gardenmom5]

Would you say that to the parents of the 3 month old being treated after the shooting? They probably aren't feeling bad enough right now.

 

And how do you know they are "young" parents?

 

as so many like to say "young is a state of mind". any parent who puts themselves ahead of their children's wellbeing/saftey (what happend is a random scenario - I think of far more common issues. a child getting adequate sleep is a wellbeing issue.) is not ready to be a parent - and yes, I've known plenty in their 30's (and older) who had a lot of growing up to do.

[Miss Peregrine]

Hmm.

 

I don't believe in blaming the victims for their physical presence at the scene of a psychopath's chosen location for terror. That's ludicrous.

 

And I don't think it's in very good taste to criticize people who are currently in a crisis, whether their choices had anything to do with it or not.

 

I will certainly hold the private opinion that 6yo children should not be out at midnight watching PG-13 or R-rated movies. I don't think it's old-fashioned to believe that little children should be asleep in bed at that hour and only allowed to watch age-appropriate media during their proper waking hours.

 

I won't dogpile on that other thread because the victims' parenting choices are not the topic, but generally speaking I am quite tired of everyone's parenting choices deserving a rubber stamp of societal approval when some choices are not admirable at all.

 

:iagree:

 

Additionally, I think it's a little disturbing that people pay money to watch other people be shot to death and then be shocked when it happens in real life. :(

[butterflymommy]

I guess I must be one of the trolls...(having only been around here for what, 5 or 6, maybe more years?)

 

The Dark Knight movie was rated PG-13, not an ideal film for a 6yo, IMO. We also all know that children need plenty of sleep. Keeping a young child up that late because Mom wants to go to a movie, or a sibling wants to go, is wrong, IMO. Because the poor child most likely would be out until well after 2:00am. What in the world makes this a good choice?

 

The only poor choice I see is that you are bringing all this up in the context of a massacre.

[clarkacademy]

I think the people in saying such things in these situations are not exactly judgemental or cruel. Just for a second let's stop and think. You are a mother, you will constantly play over every scenario in your head and make your choices based on the probability, the danger level etc. You hear of something like this totally out there and your first response is No it wouldn't be my baby my child because I would never do that!

 

You hear of the woman being raped in her home because the window was open and just for a moment it is you your raped......No No I would shut my window. Do you see where I am going? That was my first thought too God forgive me but it was. It wouldn't happen to my baby because I would never take my baby.

 

My daughter is 15 she had never been to a concert or anything like that. On a protective level I am off the charts. She begged and pleaded for 6 months, she worked to buy that ticket. She went with a parent and her daughter. She had adult supervision it was a once in time shot. They were almost driven off the highway when a semi jack-knifed.

 

My daughter would have never made it out alive as it would have rammed her side of the car. For the rest of my life I would blame myself. Now looking from both angles it is easy to say not my kid I wouldn't be there, but you can not control everything every scenario. People say such things to make them feel safe, to know that is one less thing that won't happen to their kid.

[gardenmom5]

I seriously don't see the big deal with doing something like this once in awhile. And not everyone lives on the same schedule. Why is your schedule more proper than other people's schedule? It's not an indication that the kid isn't going to get enough sleep.

 

It isn't "My schedule", it's children's schedules. children are not flexible in their sleep schedule. they don't generally stay up one night, and make up for it the next day. body clocks get in the way. to deny that is to deny basic biology and biorhythms.

[unfrumpable.]

I seriously don't see the big deal with doing something like this once in awhile. And not everyone lives on the same schedule. Why is your schedule more proper than other people's schedule? It's not an indication that the kid isn't going to get enough sleep.

 

I agree! Not everyone works on a 9-5 schedule. My 6 y/o currently goes to bed around midnight and gets up around 9ish or so. My husband and I are up later than midnight. I am certainly not a bad parent b/c my schedule differs from the norm.

[swellmomma]

I took my babies to movies. I think I was out at them more when the kids were little infants than when they were bigger. They slept or nursed through the movie and no one even knew they were there. It had nothing to do with lacking common sense. Now we don't do midnight viewings because I can't be out like that, but my kids have been up past midnight, and yes even until 2am for the rare special occasion. I doubt a 6 yr old would have stayed awake for the whole thing, they would have fallen asleep 1/2 way through.

 

There is no telling why a family opted for that viewing. Maybe they won free tickets that they otherwise could not afford. Maybe their sitter never showed up and they decided to make the most of the 1 date night they were getting. Maybe dad is on his way out of town for work for a prolonged period and they wanted to see a movie together first.

 

Some of my kids favorite memories are of those times we "broke" the rules to stay up late. Such as the time at 930 pm I announced jammie ride and we all piled into the car. We drove an hour to a beach and we played on the beach in jammies until 1230-1am and then had an hour long drive home. It was a rare treat and one that the kids still talk about though it was 8 years ago.

 

For all we know that 6 year old is in bed at 7pm like clockwork and this was the first time EVER he was up that late.

 

We can't judge the parents for some madman doing what madmen do. unless they were abusing that baby or 6 yr old they have a right to parent as they see fit whether you like it or not.

 

That'd be like someone opening fire on a homeschool convention and pser's judging the parents for homeschooling. After all to them it is common sense that children be sent to school. Only parents who aren't thinking clearly, or making bad decisions would have their children in such an environment when some psycho appears.

[gardenmom5]

My kids were up until almost midnight for the fireworks. Kelly

 

 

Oh, so your town had fireworks the next day, during the day or early evening when you could have taken them then? for the next couple weeks so you could go when it worked with your child's bedtime? oh, only that one time late at night, once a year. do you *see* the difference?

[elegantlion]

It's not for others to say what is acceptable for my family. I am angry about the shootings right now. It's a movie and it's entertainment. I adore Batman, I adore Nolan's interpretation of Batman.

 

I'm the one that took an 18 month old to Star Wars I. We took off school for opening day of Terminator 4 (rated R). We happen to like sci-fi movies. To blame the movie itself is ludicrous, there are plenty of other more realistic gun-happy violent movies.

 

My anger is for the families that were fans of a movie series and a super-hero (could we use a little real Batman right now? Justice?...) and ended up as victims.

 

I'm angry for the filmmaker. IMDB took down all the promo stuff they have for Batman very early this morning. I'm sure the film itself won't suffer. I don't know Nolan, but I've read enough to be sure this has to weigh heavy on his heart today, along with the others involved in the film. The last Batman movie was plagued by Heath Ledger's death right before opening. Now this.

 

Don't blame the parents, don't blame the moviegoers. Blame the young man who pulled the trigger.

 

rant over ....

Edited July 20, 2012 by elegantlion

[sbgrace]

Well, I see this thread has gone in a different direction but I'll add something re: the OP anyway.

 

When my BIL died in a car accident I was amazed at the number of people who (subtly or not so much) tried to ask what he "did wrong" when they found out.

 

I read somewhere that when there is a suicide bombing or attack almost always people will say things like "they should have known not to take that bus" or "how foolish that they were at the market at noon" and if I recall the paper said this is a psychological defense mechanism. If he or she "did something wrong" then we wouldn't do that so it couldn't happen to us. It's basically a psychological thing people do to feel a person has control over harm to themselves and their loved ones.

[Caroline]

I saw that they shut down the Paris premiere and have cancelled the promotional stuff.

 

 

It's not for others to say what is acceptable for my family. I am angry about the shootings right now. It's a movie and it's entertainment. I adore Batman, I adore Nolan's interpretation of Batman.

 

I'm the one that took an 18 month old to Star Wars III. We took off school for opening day of Terminator 4 (rated R). We happen to like sci-fi movies. To blame the movie itself is ludicrous, there are plenty of other more realistic gun-happy violent movies.

 

My anger is for the families that were fans of a movie series and a super-hero (could we use a little real Batman right now? Justice?...) and ended up as victims.

 

I'm angry for the filmmaker. IMDB took down all the promo stuff they have for Batman very early this morning. I'm sure the film itself won't suffer. I don't know Nolan, but I've read enough to be sure this has to weigh heavy on his heart today, along with the others involved in the film. The last Batman movie was plagued by Heath Ledger's death right before opening. Now this.

 

Don't blame the parents, don't blame the moviegoers. Blame the young man who pulled the trigger.

 

rant over ....

[Laurie4b]

Totally agree. Comments to news articles are pretty much proof of the depravity of human beings if you ask me! (no theological gauntlet here--just stunned by what people say.)

 

I think people say stuff like that in part because it gives them a sense of control. *I* wouldn't do that; therefore I am safe from senseless random violence. In that sense judging the victims makes those judging feel safer.

[Wheres Toto]

my oldest and I were talking about the young victims this morning.

 

I totally understand taking an infant. My youngest was very quiet so he went everywhere I went and slept. I could totally see going to the movie with him as a baby, in fact he went to the first Harry Potter at 3 months when I took my oldest. The infant was not watching the movie.

 

I would totally expect teens to be there. It's summer vacation and a lot of teens were waiting for this. If dd had the opportunity to go last night to our local theater, I would have let her.

 

This is just an event that you can't predict or prepare for.

 

It's awful.

 

Sure, little children should be in bed at midnight but can't there be one time when they aren't, for something special? I don't know that any of these parents always let their kids be up at midnight. My kids were up until almost midnight for the fireworks. I usually put them to bed at 8pm. I don't think a handful of times until early am every year is going to hurt.

 

Kelly

 

:iagree: We can't pick what would be a special occasion for another family. My oldest went to her first movie at about 6 months old. It was True Lies so there was certainly some violence and loud explosions going on. She nursed before the movie started and slept through the whole thing. We sat toward the back so I could get up if needed and to be away from the speakers.

 

It isn't "My schedule", it's children's schedules. children are not flexible in their sleep schedule. they don't generally stay up one night, and make up for it the next day. body clocks get in the way. to deny that is to deny basic biology and biorhythms.

 

Aren't babies notorious for having schedules that are off the - sleep in the night/awake in the day norm? Especially young babies - they sleep and wake on their own schedule until they are old enough to have a schedule imposed on them. Many babies are also capable of sleeping no matter where they are.

 

My kids are all on their own schedules - oldest dd prefers a typical teen schedule, awake half the night/sleep half the day; my son is a definite night owl, he will not fall asleep before 10 or 11 no matter what and will sleep late in the morning if needed; my youngest is the only one that would sleep a "normal" schedule if left on her own.

[Jan in SC]

I think people say things out of fear. When something horrible happens, one realizes the true lack of control in life. For some people it is a way to process and deal. Well, if only that person hadn't gone, or, if she had just closed her window. Speaking or writing it can be an attempt to regain a sense of safety, even when logic dictates different.

 

Obviously, it isn't an appropriate time, or thing to say!

[swellmomma]

Well, I see this thread has gone in a different direction but I'll add something re: the OP anyway.

 

When my BIL died in a car accident I was amazed at the number of people who (subtly or not so much) tried to ask what he "did wrong" when they found out.

 

I read somewhere that when there is a suicide bombing or attack almost always people will say things like "they should have known not to take that bus" or "how foolish that they were at the market at noon" and if I recall the paper said this is a psychological defense mechanism. If he or she "did something wrong" then we wouldn't do that so it couldn't happen to us. It's basically a psychological thing people do to feel a person has control over harm to themselves and their loved ones.

 

I heard similar things after ds8's car wreck. That if I had not let him go in a vehicle driven by someone else he would have been fine. The counsellor driving the van did no wrong. The semi driver did, and it would have happened even if I went with him.

[dirty ethel rackham]

When I awoke this morning to that news on the radio alarm clock, I was sick to my stomach ... sick with compassion for those who suffered and sick with the knowledge that, if my boys has asked, I would have let them go to a midnight showing of that movie.

[Hilltop]

 

These are people who have been terrorized and traumatized by violent criminals. Save the cold criticism for a later time, please.

 

:iagree:

 

These ill-timed comments do nothing to help this tragedy.

[MrsBasil]

I agree that victim blaming is in extremely poor taste.

 

I disagree that all of the comments regarding a 6 year old at the movie are done so with that intent.

 

For some, the idea of taking a 6 year to a midnight showing of any movie, let alone a movie like the Dark Knight, is unfathomable. So off the radar that it's a knee jerk reaction.

 

Which is not to say that the family is in anyway responsible for what happened.

[unfrumpable.]

:iagree:

 

These ill-timed comments do nothing to help this tragedy.

 

I agree. Especially now that I have finally read about the shootings. How horrible for all involved.

 

A shooting can happen anywhere! We live in a good area and there was a triple shooting in our apt complex 2-3 weeks ago. This person just opened fire in front of the leasing office, shooting three people. I often visit the leasing office, that's where our mailbox is. I take my 6/o with me. What if we had been there? What would people say?

 

It is really just tragic that people lost their loved one's due to some degenerate. This is not the time to fuss about if someone went to bed on time or not. Shootings can happen anywhere at anytime. The one in my apt complex was just before 9 am. I guess I should be thankful that we sleep later than that in the mornings since we stay up later, huh? I didn't even know what was going on until I went to check my mail around 11 or so. I wondered why there were helicopters flying around and around the complex.

 

I am just so upset after reading about the Co shootings. I don't understand why someone would do something like that. And he's smiling in that mug shot that is posted of him. Ugh.

[gardenmom5]

Well, I see this thread has gone in a different direction but I'll add something re: the OP anyway.

 

When my BIL died in a car accident I was amazed at the number of people who (subtly or not so much) tried to ask what he "did wrong" when they found out.

 

I .

 

I've had enough happen to me in my life - I've had people ask me those very questions (some to my face.). what I have learned - it often isn't about condemnation for a "bad thing" happening to someone (though sometimes it is) so much as people want to blame the victim because then they can have a delusion "it won't happen to them". If it makes them feel better . . . . their delusion.

[thefragile7393]

Sorry, I think it is stupid to take a baby to any movie unless it's a kids only showing-especially a movie like the Batman series which is LOUD and can damage baby hearing and it very well could scare the child....disturbing others and having parents not being able to get their money's worth. No one can predict what a baby would do at a theater, so it is best to avoid them alltogether. I stupidly tried it once and never again until my son was 6. You can wait to see a movie if you can't get a sitter.

 

BUT, that does not mean anyone should have been harmed because of this decision. The baby, nor the parents, deserved any of this. NO ONE did. I don't agree with the decision but I do agree they should have the right to view a movie without fear of their lives. It is not their fault it happened. It was time and unforseen occurance and I am sure they would have stayed home if they knew what would happen.

 

A 6 year old is a bigger and older child-I can easily see an older child on summer vacation being excited to see the new Batman movie and what a treat it would be to see it at the first midnight showing. I wouldn't do it...my 6 year old can't handle this intense of a series yet. I think it depends on the child, and if the parents feel comfortable with that child viewing Batman. If it wasn't a work night I would gladly take my son to a midnight viewing of a Pixar movie maybe. Again though, I don't get the victim blaming either. People have the right to go to movies in peace without fear of violence and the only person at fault is the gunman.

[gardenmom5]

. And he's smiling in that mug shot that is posted of him. Ugh.

but is it a mug shot or his school id pic? (I have seen the pic of him, but the source was not labeled.)

 

I would say he was nuts, but I consider him to have been FAR too methodical. though the norwegian guy was always smiling . . . (can you say creepy?)

[gardenmom5]

I agree that victim blaming is in extremely poor taste.

 

I disagree that all of the comments regarding a 6 year old at the movie are done so with that intent.

 

For some, the idea of taking a 6 year to a midnight showing of any movie, let alone a movie like the Dark Knight, is unfathomable. So off the radar that it's a knee jerk reaction.

 

Which is not to say that the family is in anyway responsible for what happened.

This.

[PeacefulChaos]

I am so angered reading ill-timed comments like, "who would let their child attend a midnight showing?" Or, "what kind of mother would bring a baby to a movie at midnight?"

 

A woman was raped in her apartment near here last week. She was studying in her own home with her window open on a stuffy summer night. I was sickened by the number of critical comments in our papers: "doesn't she know she shouldn't keep her window open at night?" or "why didn't she own a gun if she wants to live alone?"

 

These are people who have been terrorized and traumatized by violent criminals. Save the cold criticism for a later time, please.

 

I really wish there was a 'Like' button on here. I was totally wanting to click it when I read your post. :D

We've attended midnight showings in the past (before kids - now we wouldn't be able to find a babysitter!) - we saw Star Wars Episode II at midnight. When we were in college there was a local dollar theater that had shows all hours of the night - we went to those on a regular basis. We took my little brother to a late show when we lived there and he came to visit - I was 19 so he was probably 12? That's actually something I think would be fun to do with our kids when they get older - taking them to a movie there.

And just because some people wouldn't choose to take a baby to the theater at midnight doesn't make it a terrible thing. It's one of those things... yeah, I wouldn't do it just because of the inconvenient factor! But people just love blaming the victims... :glare: