Names on Child's Shirt

[Caroline]

Around here, baseball club teams have their names on their jerseys. Soccer club teams do not. I think that is because we switch players between teams depending on the tournament, and we have to switch jerseys to make sure they all have different numbers. I know the local YMCAs do not allow names on jerseys.

 

Our high school sports teams do not have their names on their jerseys because they use the same jerseys for a few years on varsity, then switch them to jv, so the name would have to change ever year. (Maybe we have cheap high schools? Although, as much as I pay for high school soccer, I am thinking we don't have cheap high schools.)

[Ellie]

Last names on sports jerseys is fairly common, and yes, you will come across as paranoid to most of the other parents.

:iagree:

[Ellie]

Okay I am asking because we only allow initials.

 

A lady on our ds's baseball team took it upon herself to put our last name on ds's ball shirt!! We had already asked her not to and she said she would put the initials, but she did not. We have always been concerned with placing our children's name, first and last, on anything they will be wearing or carrying. What is your opinion and reasoning?

 

You know, I understand your reasoning in general; if I were taking my dc to, say, Disneyland, I would give them name badges that had Mr. Ellie's and my names on them, and our cell phone #s, not the dc's names.

 

However, your ds is on a team. All the team members wear shirts with their last names on them; if nothing else, putting last names on the jerseys helps people to easily identify players from a distance. I think you were being paranoid to do what you did, and not being sufficiently submissive to the organization.

 

We homeschoolers do not get to make our own rules outside of our own homes. The rule for the baseball team--understood rule even if not written down, because why on earth should it need to be written down--is that players' last names are on their jerseys. If you disagree with that rule, then your ds shouldn't play; you shouldn't make up your own rule.

 

JMHO, but you did ask. :)

 

::puts on the flame-proof Xena Warrior Princess armor and awaits the flames::

[angela in ohio]

However, your ds is on a team. All the team members wear shirts with their last names on them; if nothing else, putting last names on the jerseys helps people to easily identify players from a distance. I think you were being paranoid to do what you did, and not being sufficiently submissive to the organization.

 

We homeschoolers do not get to make our own rules outside of our own homes. The rule for the baseball team--understood rule even if not written down, because why on earth should it need to be written down--is that players' last names are on their jerseys. If you disagree with that rule, then your ds shouldn't play; you shouldn't make up your own rule.

 

JMHO, but you did ask. :)

 

::puts on the flame-proof Xena Warrior Princess armor and awaits the flames::

 

I know I've said it before, but you rock, Ellie.:001_wub:

Edited June 8, 2012 by angela in ohio

[4everHis]

:iagree:

 

The woman was out of line going against your request, and I agree that changing the name, particularly at this point, will get you odd looks from most parents and you will be perceived as overly paranoid.

 

My mom unintentionally overemphasized stranger danger to me as a child. It took me years to not be terrified in what were actually normal situations. I'm still not completely over it. In reality, it was people we already knew who were the dangerous ones.

 

:iagree:

[Spy Car]

Bill,

 

We are not paranoid and we are not raising an unhealthy fearful child - we are smart parenting and simply feel if we pay $25.00 for a shirt we should be able to have it the way our family likes it and be able to wear it outside the ball park not just for the 8 games played.

 

Sorry, but this is a "uniform" for a sports team. The name says it all, they are supposed to be "uniform." If the norms in this league are that players wear their last names on their backs (which is pretty cool BTW) that that is "uniform."

 

You are not purchasing an item of clothing to wear around, you are purchasing a team uniform. It is part of the cost of doing business when you play on a team. You need to be clear on this or you will come off as having issues with both a sense of "entitlement" and "paranoia."

 

I'm sorry is this sounds harsh, but the "weird look" your husband got from the other Dad is the reaction you are going to get writ-large. If you are going to be on sport team you will need to accept that there are norms for participation, like being "snack-mom" one week, that include going along with league conventions on uniforms. If you can't manage that, don't play.

 

Bill

Edited June 8, 2012 by Spy Car

[Laurie4b]

I don't think it's an issue during a sports game. I would see it more as an issue to have a first name on a shirt that your child would be wearing around when they were alone or with other kids. An adult could call the child by name and throw him off thinking they knew him/her. But for a team, I wouldn't worry about it . All the people in the stands around here are families and friends of the players--they would know who kids were anyway. I would be concerned with my kid "sticking out" from other kids as a more likely issue more likely to impact them. I also think a team is a team--they make team decisions.

 

 

What do you think might happen? How likely do you think that is?

Edited June 8, 2012 by Laurie4b

[Paige]

I would allow first name and last name but not at the same time unless the shirt was for a specific special purpose. I think it is unusual to not allow last names on team shirts.

[Laurie4b]

Paranoid not - just smart parenting - we know a predator will chose whomever they want at any given time - they do not have to have anything to base it on. But we paid $25.00 for the shirt so it is our choice how we want it to read.

 

If you put JAWM (just agree with me) on a post, it helps people to know that you're not looking for opinions; you just want to be affirmed. Saves you from reading contrary posts; saves others from posting where it's not really helpful or being asked for.

[Spy Car]

You know, I understand your reasoning in general; if I were taking my dc to, say, Disneyland, I would give them name badges that had Mr. Ellie's and my names on them, and our cell phone #s, not the dc's names.

 

However, your ds is on a team. All the team members wear shirts with their last names on them; if nothing else, putting last names on the jerseys helps people to easily identify players from a distance. I think you were being paranoid to do what you did, and not being sufficiently submissive to the organization.

 

We homeschoolers do not get to make our own rules outside of our own homes. The rule for the baseball team--understood rule even if not written down, because why on earth should it need to be written down--is that players' last names are on their jerseys. If you disagree with that rule, then your ds shouldn't play; you shouldn't make up your own rule.

 

JMHO, but you did ask. :)

 

::puts on the flame-proof Xena Warrior Princess armor and awaits the flames::

 

Only flames of passion Miss Ellie :001_wub:

 

(As always) apologies to Mr Ellie :tongue_smilie:

 

Bill

[BMW]

Whoa, wait a minute! Where's the "other" on the poll??? lol.

Honestly, I would pick "other" because I would allow either name, whichever the team as a group wanted to go with...

[pitterpatter]

Team shirts yes. Anything else no.

[pitterpatter]

I think you're right-on...this time. ;)

 

You know, I understand your reasoning in general; if I were taking my dc to, say, Disneyland, I would give them name badges that had Mr. Ellie's and my names on them, and our cell phone #s, not the dc's names.

 

However, your ds is on a team. All the team members wear shirts with their last names on them; if nothing else, putting last names on the jerseys helps people to easily identify players from a distance. I think you were being paranoid to do what you did, and not being sufficiently submissive to the organization.

 

We homeschoolers do not get to make our own rules outside of our own homes. The rule for the baseball team--understood rule even if not written down, because why on earth should it need to be written down--is that players' last names are on their jerseys. If you disagree with that rule, then your ds shouldn't play; you shouldn't make up your own rule.

 

JMHO, but you did ask. :)

 

::puts on the flame-proof Xena Warrior Princess armor and awaits the flames::

[maddykate]

I haven't read all the replies so it may have already been suggested. Could you use a nickname for each child instead of their real name?

 

Back in the stone ages when i played ball, a number on our jersey was sufficient.

[ChristineW]

Sorry, but this is a "uniform" for a sports team. The name say it all, they are supposed to be "uniform." If the norms in this league are that players wear their last names on their backs (which is pretty cool BTW) that that is "uniform."

 

You are not purchasing an item of clothing to wear around, you are purchasing a team uniform. It is part of the cost of doing business when you play on a team. You need to be clear on this or you will come off as having issues with both a sense of "entitlement" and "paranoia."

 

I'm sorry is this sounds harsh, but the "weird look" your husband got from the other Dad is the reaction you are going to get writ-large. If you are going to be on sport team you will need to accept that their are norms for participation, like being "snack-mom" one week, that include going along with league conventions on uniforms. If you can't manage that, don't play.

 

Bill

 

:iagree: The other mom made a mistake by telling you that initials were an option; the organization higher-ups probably said no b/c uniforms should be uniform. DS6 is in instructional league soccer and tee ball; the instructional league (ie K-1) doesn't have names on jerseys but anything higher does.

[Tasia]

My boys are required to have their last names on their jerseys for hockey, baseball and lacrosse, and I've never thought anything of it. I know in one hockey league that my 11yo played in, it is against the rules to have anything other than the last name and one first initial on the back of their jerseys. One team they played had a player's nickname on his jersey and he had to switch to be allowed to play. I doubt initials would have been allowed. I think it's just part of being on a team and makes life easier than having to remember every player's number.

 

On team jackets for these sports, they usually have their last name. For dance, cheerleading and gymnastics, they tend to have their first name. I haven't had a problem with either.

 

You asked us for our reasoning, but you haven't stated yours. What exactly are you afraid of? In your eyes, is it a safety issue or a privacy issue? Something different?

[Tammyla]

I think on a team uniform, it's nomal/part of being on the to have their names on their uniforms.

[LaxMom]

Sorry, but this is a "uniform" for a sports team. The name say it all, they are supposed to be "uniform." If the norms in this league are that players wear their last names on their backs (which is pretty cool BTW) that that is "uniform."

 

You are not purchasing an item of clothing to wear around, you are purchasing a team uniform. It is part of the cost of doing business when you play on a team. You need to be clear on this or you will come off as having issues with both a sense of "entitlement" and "paranoia."

 

I'm sorry is this sounds harsh, but the "weird look" your husband got from the other Dad is the reaction you are going to get writ-large. If you are going to be on sport team you will need to accept that their are norms for participation, like being "snack-mom" one week, that include going along with league conventions on uniforms. If you can't manage that, don't play.

 

Bill

 

I agree. My husband would also like to point out that our children's club lax jerseys are forest green and would be unsafe for them to walk around in at night. He doubts the organization would be ok with them wearing neon yellow ones, though. They would probably point out that that is not the purpose of the jersey.

Edited June 8, 2012 by MyCrazyHouse

[Forget-Me-Not]

I think having a child's last name on a jersey is totally normal in baseball, and that the fears are unfounded and unhealthful.

 

I'd urge you not to be paranoid.

 

Bill

 

:iagree:

[ChocolateReignRemix]

One point I would like to make for the OP is that names on jerseys are optional in some leagues. In our local rec baseball and basketball leagues, the uniforms are ordered by the league without names on them. Some teams then decide to have the names added at their own expense. In a situation like that, I can see why someone could sign up and not know that the norm for their team would include having their child's name on the jersey.

[Leav97]

Yes, I'm OK with names on sports gear. DD swims and has her last name on her cap. Her full name is printed in the program.

[mereminerals]

In all the years my boys have played baseball, I haven't seen anyone with just initials on the back of their jersey. Here, the entire team has to look the same with either all the kids having last names, first names, nick names, or nothing. You wouldn't be able to have one just do initials while the rest of the team had names.

[phathui5]

For a sports team, I would allow the last name on the back like the other kids.

[swellmomma]

One point I would like to make for the OP is that names on jerseys are optional in some leagues. In our local rec baseball and basketball leagues, the uniforms are ordered by the league without names on them. Some teams then decide to have the names added at their own expense. In a situation like that, I can see why someone could sign up and not know that the norm for their team would include having their child's name on the jersey.

 

:iagree:This is what it was like for any teams my kids played on that had jerseys etc that they kept (most had you return them at end of season to reuse the next year). Parents got to chose what if anything was put on the jerseys at an extra cost. Otherwise the uniform look was met by the fact they were all wearing the same jerseys regardless of writing on them.

[Guest]

This post reminds me of an episode of "Jon and Kate Plus 8." They were going on one of their numerous trips all over the world and Kate was dutifully putting masking tape over the names on all her kids' backpacks. 12 Million strangers see your children on TV every week, but for sure, you need to blank out their backpack monograms when they're heading to the airport. :rolleyes:

[laundrycrisis]

Jerseys with just numbers are useless. Initials aren't much help really. I would not go with first names, but last names or nicknames are appropriate, normal and expected in team sports.

[Spy Car]

This post reminds me of an episode of "Jon and Kate Plus 8." They were going on one of their numerous trips all over the world and Kate was dutifully putting masking tape over the names on all her kids' backpacks. 12 Million strangers see your children on TV every week, but for sure, you need to blank out their backpack monograms when they're heading to the airport. :rolleyes:

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Bill

[gevs4him]

You know, I understand your reasoning in general; if I were taking my dc to, say, Disneyland, I would give them name badges that had Mr. Ellie's and my names on them, and our cell phone #s, not the dc's names.

 

However, your ds is on a team. All the team members wear shirts with their last names on them; if nothing else, putting last names on the jerseys helps people to easily identify players from a distance. I think you were being paranoid to do what you did, and not being sufficiently submissive to the organization.

 

We homeschoolers do not get to make our own rules outside of our own homes. The rule for the baseball team--understood rule even if not written down, because why on earth should it need to be written down--is that players' last names are on their jerseys. If you disagree with that rule, then your ds shouldn't play; you shouldn't make up your own rule.

 

JMHO, but you did ask. :)

 

::puts on the flame-proof Xena Warrior Princess armor and awaits the flames::

 

 

Ellie,

 

It was not and is not a club rule, in fact all the other teams in the club do not have any names on their shirts. As I said the women took it upon herself to do this before we even received the shirts -

[gevs4him]

If you put JAWM (just agree with me) on a post, it helps people to know that you're not looking for opinions; you just want to be affirmed. Saves you from reading contrary posts; saves others from posting where it's not really helpful or being asked for.

 

 

There's a difference in a conducive opinion, and being irreverent.

[gevs4him]

Sorry, but this is a "uniform" for a sports team. The name says it all, they are supposed to be "uniform." If the norms in this league are that players wear their last names on their backs (which is pretty cool BTW) that that is "uniform."

 

You are not purchasing an item of clothing to wear around, you are purchasing a team uniform. It is part of the cost of doing business when you play on a team. You need to be clear on this or you will come off as having issues with both a sense of "entitlement" and "paranoia."

 

I'm sorry is this sounds harsh, but the "weird look" your husband got from the other Dad is the reaction you are going to get writ-large. If you are going to be on sport team you will need to accept that there are norms for participation, like being "snack-mom" one week, that include going along with league conventions on uniforms. If you can't manage that, don't play.

 

Bill

 

Bill-- This is a Parks and Rec Summer league, they don't even keep score of the games. The "uniform" is a t-shirt, nothing special about it. This is not a norm for participation, the other teams in the league do not have names on their shirts. Our team is the only one where an individual took it upon herself to put the names on the shirts... Also, I get the whole "snack-mom" thing, I made the list :lol:

[gevs4him]

One point I would like to make for the OP is that names on jerseys are optional in some leagues. In our local rec baseball and basketball leagues, the uniforms are ordered by the league without names on them. Some teams then decide to have the names added at their own expense. In a situation like that, I can see why someone could sign up and not know that the norm for their team would include having their child's name on the jersey.

 

 

:iagree:Exactly what happened.

[TravelingChris]

We would never put our kid's last name on shirts- too long, too hard for people to say and we hate to hear it mispronounced. We do first names only. Even with that, my youngest, who has a top 100 name, has all kinds of people here mispronouncing that. One way is not that annoying- changing a name to a more popular similar name (like Maria to Mary) but the other way people here do it is mystifying to us since they pronounce it as no name at all, just strange/ (Like if you didn't know how to pronounce Katherine, it would be better for you to call a child Kathleen or Katrina rather than Kath-e- ryn (last syllable like rind except the d). These examples aren't her name but explain the problem.

[RanchGirl]

.

Edited June 10, 2012 by RanchGirl

[Rebel Yell]

Bill,

 

We are not paranoid and we are not raising an unhealthy fearful child - we are smart parenting and simply feel if we pay $25.00 for a shirt we should be able to have it the way our family likes it and be able to wear it outside the ball park not just for the 8 games played.

 

I say this with as much kindness as the internet can express, but $25 for a shirt that is worn 8 times for several hours each time is a fabulous deal to me... we pay $75 for each dance costume that is worn for a total of 10 minutes each. (3min. each- 1 dress rehearsal and 2 shows, plus a class photo. This year I bought 6 costumes.) And we don't get to choose anything about it, and never get to wear it again later. :glare: So to me, the cost of the shirt is part of the cost of the activity, not part of the clothing budget.

 

But I do agree that if it is your wish to not have full names and it isn;t against league rules, that should have been respected.

[Oak Knoll Mom]

I think having a child's last name on a jersey is totally normal in baseball, and that the fears are unfounded and unhealthful.

 

I'd urge you not to be paranoid.

 

Bill

 

:iagree:

[In the Rain]

I understand your reasoning. Even if I didn't, though, the woman was totally out of line because you told her that you didn't want it. I would return the shirt and get one just with initials.

 

:iagree:

 

Last names on sports jerseys is traditional, but if you requested something else it should be honored.

[DianeW88]

I think having a child's last name on a jersey is totally normal in baseball, and that the fears are unfounded and unhealthful.

 

I'd urge you not to be paranoid.

 

Bill

 

:iagree:You're overreacting to nothing. It's a baseball jersey. It's how the game is played. Yes, you will be considered the weird family if you do anything differently. And the scorekeepers won't be thrilled either. And if this is a hill you're willing to die on, you many want to reconsider your children's participation in league sports.

Edited June 9, 2012 by DianeW88

[shinyhappypeople]

I think having a child's last name on a jersey is totally normal in baseball, and that the fears are unfounded and unhealthful.

 

I'd urge you not to be paranoid.

 

Bill

 

:iagree:

 

I am bone-weary of the "Be afraid, very afraid, all the time, everywhere" parenting mentality.

 

A child is at greater risk of injury or death by driving to the field or playing the actual sport than from the almost non-existent danger of stranger abduction because some sicko happened to be at that specific game and see your kid's name on the jersey.

 

I know I'm going to get flamed for this (heck, I'm the radical mom who lets her kids answer the front door :gasp: ), but I'm just going to say it:

 

It's okay to not be afraid all the time.

[Soror]

:iagree:

 

I am bone-weary of the "Be afraid, very afraid, all the time, everywhere" parenting mentality.

 

A child is at greater risk of injury or death by driving to the field or playing the actual sport than from the almost non-existent danger of stranger abduction because some sicko happened to be at that specific game and see your kid's name on the jersey.

 

I know I'm going to get flamed for this (heck, I'm the radical mom who lets her kids answer the front door :gasp: ), but I'm just going to say it:

 

It's okay to not be afraid all the time.

 

From what I've seen of statistics it would be far more helpful to keep the kids home and not participate at all and make sure they don't go with anyone other than yourself. Abduction and sexual abuse are far, far more likely to happen by relatives and friends.

 

Even if this is a rec league without regular rules I don't see how one parent trumps something for the entire team.

[Violet Crown]

Your child, your decision, not someone else's.

 

That said, I'd be interested if there is any reason, involving empirical evidence, to think that a child is at increased risk for being scoped out by child molesters hoping to ingratiate themselves as total strangers to a child through knowing the child's name, first or last. Is there any record ever of a child predator doing this?

[mommymilkies]

My kids have had clothes or water bottles with their first names on them before. I would not personally pick them out or encourage it, but they were gifts.

[tomandlorih]

I didn't vote because I have never thought of this before!! But you are all quite right.. I shall be doing some thinking on what I will allow!

[MomatHWTK]

I don't think it's necessary to criticize a parent who has chosen to exercise her discernment in a way different than the "norm." Many folks here make dietary, educational, and philosophical choices for their children that are outside the norm. Is it not possible to say, "I wouldn't have a problem with it and tend to not worry about such issues" rather than accuse the OP of being paranoid and fearful? Maybe she's just sensible and cautious. I have found that statistics become absolutely meaningless when it is your child who has the misfortune to "beat the odds" and not in a good way.

[Mom-ninja.]

After reading Protecting the Gift I will never allow names on items.

 

I would not allow my child to wear the shirt, and the woman would be responsible for the cost of getting a new one.

[HSMom2One]

I think having a child's last name on a jersey is totally normal in baseball, and that the fears are unfounded and unhealthful.

 

I'd urge you not to be paranoid.

 

Bill

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[HSMom2One]

I agree that the name should appear as you specified (unless against league rules).

 

That's not what your poll asks, though. And, personally, I think "smart parenting" has more to do with being present than whether a random stranger can figure out my kids' names. Random park-snatchers look for those they can separate from the others, and find out names through conversation with the kid. Familiar predators already know the kid's name.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

Yup, I agree completely with this post as well. If you are there with your dc all the time it shouldn't be an issue. My ds is a police officer and his kids wear their names on their team shirts because they are always with one or both parents.

 

And another consideration is for the feelings of the kid himself and how it causes him to stand out with his team mates who have the team standard on their shirts. In a case like this, kids do want to fit in and be part of the team.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[Guest submarines]

After reading Protecting the Gift I will never allow names on items.

 

 

Could you please elaborate? I read the book some years ago, found it excetionally useful, but a lot of details are hazy now. I need to re-read it, and soon.

 

However from what I remember, I wouldn't be making this conclusion after reading the book. I would appreciate if you could share the reasoning.

 

Thanks!

[JFSinIL]

I think having a child's last name on a jersey is totally normal in baseball, and that the fears are unfounded and unhealthful.

 

I'd urge you not to be paranoid.

 

Bill

 

I agree. Sports is one place where the last name, or initial and last name, is acceptable. Helps identify players on the field.

[QuirkyKidAcademy]

Our DS10 is never at the ballpark or practice field without one of us, so it never occurred to me to worry about that particular danger.

 

That said, the woman was wrong simply because she didn't abide by your wishes.

[Catwoman]

I don't think it's necessary to criticize a parent who has chosen to exercise her discernment in a way different than the "norm." Many folks here make dietary, educational, and philosophical choices for their children that are outside the norm. Is it not possible to say, "I wouldn't have a problem with it and tend to not worry about such issues" rather than accuse the OP of being paranoid and fearful? Maybe she's just sensible and cautious. I have found that statistics become absolutely meaningless when it is your child who has the misfortune to "beat the odds" and not in a good way.

 

:iagree:

 

Excellent point.