Why the negativity about tattoos?

[Nakia]

For me there really is, and maybe some of it is exposure. I can find clothes trashy and I truly in my heart don't think the person is trashy. Or pick another word - trashy is a loaded one. But I really don't think I can know what a person is like on the inside based on an outfit or the way she wears her hair.

 

I do think maybe part of this is experience. I have an adult kid, so I have gone through all the teenage and college years. Kids experiment with looks - and should. It would have a much more limited circle and I would be less happy if I judged people firmly based in what they wear or whether they have tattoos or piercings. I can dislike those things, but if part of me starts making judgements about the person, I try to get past that because these things can't really tell us much about the person as a person.

 

I agree that trashy is a loaded term.

 

I don't have an adult child, but after 15 years as a nurse, I can safely say I've seen it all. I do often make snap judgements when I see someone for the first time. I can admit that. Actually I would venture to guess most people do the same thing. I guess it just takes me a few minutes to separate the outside presentation from the person on the inside.

[Nakia]

Not the person who made the referenced comment (and haven't visited this thread for several pages) but if my dd put on a short skirt that practically showed the lady bits, then I might say something like, "Hey, that comes across as trashy." So, I know whether or not dd is trashy (she's not), but I can see that the outfit is. And she knows that she isn't trashy; she can accept that I'm commenting on her costuming choices, and we can discuss whether it's appropriate for the occasion. I might also comment on her diction, vocabulary, etc.**, in the same way -- simply giving her feedback. Isn't that what the person was saying with that comment? That's how I took it.

 

Also, if people here are saying they think "trashy" but don't act on that instant impression, and you think the same about short skirts, aren't you essentially on the same page?

 

**My kids are the ones who are given those "trashy" roles in theater productions, I'm assuming because they "get" how to turn it on and off.

 

Well, the difference is that I'm admitting that I have a hard time separating the person from the trashy clothes (upon first glance). Some people are saying they don't. Perhaps I'm flawed. ;)

 

I'm just curious anyway. I think this stuff is really interesting.

[Nakia]

You could never be low class or trashy, Nakia! :grouphug::grouphug: I love your tattoo too. I even told Blessedwinter about it in the other thread because it was so beautiful. :) :grouphug::grouphug:

 

Awww, thank you!! :grouphug:

[Danestress]

Okay, but in this case if a person has a tattoo, they've already bought the furniture, and you are insulting their "living room." KWIM?

 

And these threads are best avoided for that reason. I don't like the particular words like trashy and low class, because I do think they are insulting in a different way than just saying someone is "boring" or "unattractive" which is how I have been described on this thread. But I know whoever said my look is unattractive would probably like me personally if she met me, so I choose not to let it insult me. But word like "trashy" are harder to brush off.

[marbel]

And what gives anyone the right to decide what "trashy" is? I personally find well manicured suburban lawns unattractive. I also find well manicured cookie cutter suburban moms unattractive and boring. I think dreadlocks are absolutely gorgeous but I wouldn't personally have them. I love the look of high heels but don't wear them. I feel uncomfortable and a tad immodest in short skirts and dresses, but I don't consider women who do wear them immodest. These adjectives are not only insulting, but mentally lazy.

 

But the only reason the word "trashy" came up is because people were asked their opinions. No one is deciding what "trashy" means for anyone but themselves, and each person does have the right to decide what they consider "trashy." Anyway, no one would have started talking about it if the question hadn't been asked.

 

If I invited you to my house and you said, unsolicited, "ugh, your well manicured suburban lawn is so unattractive" I might be offended or put off. If you came over and I asked you what you thought of my lawn, and you said it looked unattractive, I might still be offended... but I asked, so I should have been prepared for any answer.

 

And if enough people said my lawn was unattractive, I might start looking at it differently to figure out what they see that I don't. Or not, if I am confident in my own lawn style.

 

(My suburban lawn isn't very well manicured, so I'm not in any danger there. ;);))

[I.Dup.]

Judgy attitudes are so tacky and low-class. ;) I was just thinking last night that, after this thread, I'm tempted to get another tattoo in a more prominent place just so I can more easily identify the kind of people I'd like to avoid. :lol:

 

:lol::iagree:

 

I so don't get the whole "what will they look like wrinkly and saggy?" comment. Who cares at that point? Wrinkly skin is hideous anyways, what's the difference? My stomach has lots of loose wrinkly "twin skin" from carrying twins full term on a very small frame. I can assure you that my tattoos are much more visually appealing, and it's tattoo free, but if I had a tattoo on my stomach, it's not like that's what made the wrinkly skin ugly. :lol:

 

:iagree:

 

 

You know what I find trashy, low class, and unattractive? This thread! Amazing how many moms here have said they have tats and still the trashy, unattractive, low class comments continue to fly. Amazing that people say they have good friends with tats and they don't judge even though they still think tats are ugly etc. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who harbored those kinds of thoughts about my lifestyle choice. Amazing that some people think it's okay that children could get flagged as at risk because of tattoos. So? Are all our fellow forum members who have tats putting their children at risk? Do we forum members with tats engage in drug, alcohol and sexually illicit activities? Maybe we should start another poll to find out. Good idea?

 

I'm also amazed at the hypocritical comments. "The body is beautiful." "God's creation" blah blah blah. Beautiful until you're old with sagging, unattractive skin that is. :glare:

 

Honestly I'm reminded of why I stay away from the general forums usually. What a complete waste of time and effort.

 

Yeah, I think the 'body is beautiful' comments are just a load of cr@p, honestly. And I'm glad you spoke up. For the majority of the tattoo threads, it has been the tattoo haters speaking up. ;)

 

It's pretty clear that, since tattoos are permanent and all, the "tattoos are trashy and low class" comments were meant as a direct insult to those of us who have them. I think it's rather silly to debate over the semantics, it's clear it was meant as an insult.

[lovemyboys]

*Become* more mainstream? Everybody has a tattoo now! I answered on the other thread, but that's why I dislike mine now. I got mine in the early nineties and it was counterculture then (so was I :001_smile:)---not so much anymore. I don't think it's low-class, but it is a definite indicator of our generation.

 

I honestly think the years of everyone getting tattoos are on the way OUT.

 

This is so true.

 

I've heard more than one junior high/high school age kid say that tattoos are for their parents, or "only 30-year-olds get those." !

 

I think that's why we're seeing so many more "sleeves" and whole body art. Simple tattoos are so ubiquitous that people who want to be edgy or make a statement really have to take it much further these days. But there are also a lot of people having things removed or dealing with how tattoos age. Looks like it's arcing past prime.

[Singingmom]

This is so true.

 

I've heard more than one junior high/high school age kid say that tattoos are for their parents, or "only 30-year-olds get those." !

 

I think that's why we're seeing so many more "sleeves" and whole body art. Simple tattoos are so ubiquitous that people who want to be edgy or make a statement really have to take it much further these days. But there are also a lot of people having things removed or dealing with how tattoos age. Looks like it's arcing past prime.

 

I so hope you are right, and that by the time my boys get to be young adults, tatoos will be passé, and something only old people used to do! That is not a battle I want to have to wage...too many other things to worry about with teens!

[Barb_]

This is cultural. I doubt any ped. in Seattle or San Francisco is labelling a child "at risk" because of a parent's tattoo. Utah, yeah, I can see that being the assumption.

 

This was an AAP article, so local culture wouldn't be an issue. However, it was published almost 10 years ago (back when a lot of you counterculturals got your tats :D), so you're right to point out that it really isn't applicable.

[KrissiK]

I don't like them, but I'm not sure why, as a couple of my friends have very pretty tattoos which I think are quite tasteful. All I can think is that when I was a child the only people I knew who had tattoos were greasy, hairy workmen who swore and smoked roll-ups, they were ... altogether rather unsavoury; I think that might have influenced my opinion of tattoos.

 

:iagree: that's me. When I was young I only saw tattoos on scary looking guys and so I always kind of think tattoo=scary guy. Although I know that's not true anymore.

[BrotherAtticus]

My grandfather served in Nam. He got a Tattoo that said a last name, a rank, and a date. They each were for one of his buddies who died. His whole left arm is covered sadly.

[Lady Florida.]

There's not much of a difference to me. "you're not trashy, but your tattoo is." is still insulting.

 

 

Kind of like "Hate the sin, love the sinner." :tongue_smilie:

[HSMom2One]

I think it's one thing to get ears pierced - especially because one can let them grow back in most cases. But I personally believe that having images permanently etched with ink into your skin is foolish. For one thing, it distracts from the beauty of the amazing body that God provides for our soul to live in. Secondly, tastes change over time. What seems fine at one age may be deeply regretted at another. And my final reason is that I've seen in person what tatoos look like on aging, sagging and wrinkled skin. Not pretty at all!

 

I absolutely hate tatoos. And much to my dismay, my three older sons all have them. I want to weep every time I see them.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[Audrey]

Kind of like "Hate the sin, love the sinner." :tongue_smilie:

 

:lol: well, there went my tea! :lol:

[Barb_]

I let my kids run around in nothing but swim suits in the summer. My yard is usually cluttered with ride-on toys. The yard is never perfect. More often than not the children run barefoot (as am I on more occasions than I'd like to admit). My girls wear tanktops, strapless sundresses, shorts shorts, and bikinis because, well, it's hot. I do too, and sometimes it's not pretty but I don't so much care. My oldest two have nose piercings. Some of you guys would look at our family and think, "trashy" or at the very least, "immodest." We've had that discussion on this board before. Possibly some of my neighbors think the same thing. I would hope none of you would tell me to my face, but none of us is immune to to the impulse to initially judge others based on superficial things or lifestyle choices. Humans are social creatures. We also are driven to categorize. It's a shorthand way to make quick decisions based on prior experience and how we avoided being poisoned or killed by an enemy tribe before farming and animal husbandry.:tongue_smilie: Luckily with the advent of Safeway, we can afford overcome instinct and get to know and love each other regardless of initial impressions.

 

This thread began with the question, "WHY the negativity?" so I think the answers were abstract and appropriate. The fact that tatoos have an unsavory connotation in the minds of some people is a completely legitimate response. Now if someone came on here with the full intention of getting a tatoo and wanted advice on how to go about it or to share a picture of a recent piece of work, it would be beyond rude to share the opinion because at that point, the opinion is no longer abstract, general, or solicited.

[pfamilygal]

I agree that trashy is a loaded term.

 

I don't have an adult child, but after 15 years as a nurse, I can safely say I've seen it all. I do often make snap judgements when I see someone for the first time. I can admit that. Actually I would venture to guess most people do the same thing. I guess it just takes me a few minutes to separate the outside presentation from the person on the inside.

 

As a fellow nurse, I agree. And I make more judgments based on a person's odor and general hygeine than their tats.

 

If you come in stinking of MJ, with dirty clothes, unbrushed hair and obvious prison tats I will make certain assumptions.

 

A clean, well-kempt person with nice tattoos/wild hair/piercings? Wouldn't think twice.

 

As for parents, I make judgments based on how you treat your children in front of me. I've had tattooed parents caring for their kids wonderfully, while the soccer mom in chinos ignores her kid and talks on the cell while her child sobs. It's behavior I care about!

[DianeW88]

Like I said up thread, none of this bothers me personally. I've been judged and treated like trash, in an ER, when I had a hurt child, and I'm 100% sure it's because of my tattoo (I just have one visible tattoo) and nose ring. I know my daughter's chart was not flagged as someone mentioned because I have a copy of it. The doctor just had the same opinion some of you have. Once I made it clear that I wouldn't tolerate her attitude, she changed her tune. :D

 

I agree that this is more likely to happen in an ER situation, where the staff is already on a higher alert for red flags, because that's where a lot of red flags turn out to be the truth. It is also more likely in a situation where your doctor is new to you, and not someone with whom you have an established relationship.

 

And, like you said, Nakia...it's one of those times when an initial snap judgement is made based on appearance alone. It's human nature. And it probably won't change much...especially if you live in a more conservative area.

[Jennifer3141]

Tattoos don't bother me. I don't have any, but I'm not much into body adornment for myself anyway.

 

This. Mostly.

 

I have pierced ears and I don't think I've worn earrings in a couple of years... :lol:

 

I judged a person for a tattoo once.

 

One of my friends and I were waitresses together at a Village Inn. We had a couple of guys come in that we became familiar with and one day, they invited us to the beach. Ok, they were a little on the rougher side of manners but meh. The dating pool was small in that town. :D

 

So anyway, friend and I drive to the beach and meet them there. We brought the food. They brought the wine. We started to settle in when friend goes back to the car to get her sunglasses. Her "date" removes his shirt and ALL OVER his back is an image of Satan just raping this woman. There was nothing consensual looking. I didn't see any "beauty" in it. To this day, that was the most graphic picture I have ever seen in my life and I'm WILD compared to many of you.

 

It was disgusting. And for the life of me, the idea of this guy touching my friend in any way made me queasy. So I ran to the car, grabbed my friend, and we left the guys there.

 

I had their table a few weeks later and they asked where we went. I said that the tattoo was a bit much for us and they understood. A few months later, tattoo guy came in with his new girlfriend on a leash. Whatever floats your boat but my friend and I weren't into that. At all.

 

So I judged tattoo guy (and his friend too, I suppose) but if you're going to have a tattoo emblazened over your entire back of a violent image that gives most women a visceral reaction, then I guess you were looking for that reaction.

 

I would not have grabbed my friend and driven off if the tattoo had been a butterfly on his ankle.

 

How long does it take to tattoo an entire back with a full color, sexually graphic tattoo and how much does that cost?? These guyes were always broke too of course and to this day, we laugh about the price of that tattoo.

 

Do the color ones cost more? I presume bigger tattoo, means more time consuming and thus more expensive right??

 

I cried over piercing my ears. I doubt tattoos are right for me.

Edited June 4, 2012 by Jennifer3141

[5kidsforME]

I don't think this is a "beautiful work of art." I think it is tacky and ugly. If it was painted on a canvas and hung on a wall I would find it tacky and ugly.

 

The fact that is is permanently inked on a young woman's skin does not make it less tacky or ugly. I think it is sad to see a young body treated this way.

 

That is me being honest.

 

Bill

 

 

:iagree: I think I'm going to faint. I agree with Spycar. :001_huh:

 

 

:lol:

[SKL]

This thread reminds me of "Go, Dog, Go" by PD Eastman. The girl dog keeps asking the boy dog, "do you like my hat?" and the boy dog bluntly answers, "No, I don't like it." You feel kinda sorry for the girl dog, but after a while it's like, why did you ask?

 

But the boy dog doesn't look down on the girl dog, only on her hats. In the end she finds one he likes and they drive off into the sunset together.

 

No, I don't like your tattoo, but we can still be friends.

[susankenny]

Wow. I had no idea this was such a hot topic. I need a t-shirt that says:

 

I have tattoos

I wear perfume

I like crock pots

Shoes are okay inside

 

 

Susan

[5kidsforME]

That a tattoo looks trashy and that the person sporting it is a trashy person. It is interesting to me how few people seem able to see this distinction.

 

 

Amen!

[Princess Peach]

Wow. I had no idea this was such a hot topic. I need a t-shirt that says:

 

I have tattoos

I wear perfume

I like crock pots

Shoes are okay inside

 

 

Susan

 

On the back it says: I don't return my cart to the corral.

[GailV]

:iagree: I think I'm going to faint. I agree with Spycar. :001_huh:

 

 

:lol:

 

That's a newsflash worthy of Fox news.:lol:

[susankenny]

On the back it says: I don't return my cart to the corral.

 

:D Maybe etch the sleeves in bean dip and kilt print?

[Princess Peach]

:D Maybe etch the sleeves in bean dip and kilt print?

 

:D

 

It needs to be cut such that my shoulder tat shows.

[Lady Florida.]

Wow. I had no idea this was such a hot topic. I need a t-shirt that says:

 

I have tattoos

I wear perfume

I like crock pots

Shoes are okay inside

 

 

Susan

 

On the back it says: I don't return my cart to the corral.

 

:lol::lol:

[Word Nerd]

They just don't love the tattoo. Maybe I am weird. I can hate tattoos and truly adore the person who wears them. But I am not really picky about style, fashion etc. It honestly wouldn't bother me at all to know a friend hated the way grey hair looks or found my clothes boring and unflattering. Whatever ... She isn't with me for the clothes.

 

 

:iagree: I think the snake tattoo on DH's forearm is kind of icky, but I'm rather attracted to him and love him. I don't get the insistence that thinking a tat is _____ is no different from thinking the person sporting it is ____. The argument doesn't hold water.

[Runningmom80]

:iagree: I think the snake tattoo on DH's forearm is kind of icky, but I'm rather attracted to him and love him. I don't get the insistence that thinking a tat is _____ is no different from thinking the person sporting it is ____. The argument doesn't hold water.

 

 

But it's still insulting the person's taste. Which to me is still an insult. It's one thing to say you don't like something, it's another to call it ugly, tacky, trashy, whatever.

[Parrothead]

The only person I've ever seen wear a tat well is the character Abby Sciuto on NCIS.

 

Last I heard they are drawn on Pauley Perrette and are not permanent.

[Parrothead]

I don't think this is a "beautiful work of art." I think it is tacky and ugly. If it was painted on a canvas and hung on a wall I would find it tacky and ugly.

 

The fact that is is permanently inked on a young woman's skin does not make it less tacky or ugly. I think it is sad to see a young body treated this way.

 

That is me being honest.

 

Bill

:iagree:with Bill.

 

I just don't like them on the vast majority (like 99.9%) of people.

[Spy Car]

:iagree:with Bill.

 

I just don't like them on the vast majority (like 99.9%) of people.

 

I did see one I liked once. It was a whole chest-belly-arms-neck type tattoo sported by a Mexican gang member in full scale "cholo" regalia. He had the dangerous look of a man that had done time.

 

His tattoo was extraordinary. Very dark, menacing and dangerous motifs done in an anxious and raw style that was brutal and artistic. It really had a lot of power.

 

I think on gangsters, criminals, south-sea adventurers from the 19th Century, and cannibals, tattoos work :D

 

Bill

[TranquilMind]

Mama Geek: Why do people get tattoos knowing there is a large segment of the population who have negative feelings about it and then get upset when they come across those people?

 

I could substitute the word "tattoos" with a number of things, and I've been asking this sort of question for years.

[TranquilMind]

I think on gangsters, criminals, south-sea adventurers from the 19th Century, and cannibals, tattoos work :D

 

Bill

 

So can we see yours?:tongue_smilie:

[Spy Car]

So can we see yours?:tongue_smilie:

 

Big old whale :D

 

Bill

[Lady Florida.]

The only person I've ever seen wear a tat well is the character Abby Sciuto on NCIS.

 

Last I heard they are drawn on Pauley Perrette and are not permanent.

 

The spider web and cross are drawn on for the character, but the rest are real.

[Slartibartfast]

Tatooing has been around for centuries for cultural, artistic, expressive and religious purposes. If people can't pull the stick out about it now they are never going to.

 

"Trashy" is going a bit far IMO, I think calling people "trashy" is pretty trashy.

[TranquilMind]

Big old whale :D

 

Bill

 

Killer whale? ;)

[Spy Car]

Killer whale? ;)

 

It kills people, and it is a whale, but it's not a killer whale.

 

Sperm whale :D

 

Bill

[Guest]

On the back it says: I don't return my cart to the corral.

 

I bike. On the roads. No shoulder. Against traffic. :auto:

[Ibbygirl]

Wow. I had no idea this was such a hot topic. I need a t-shirt that says:

 

I have tattoos

I wear perfume

I like crock pots

Shoes are okay inside

 

 

 

Susan

 

But shoes aren't okay inside! :tongue_smilie: :leaving: :auto:

 

:D

 

It needs to be cut such that my shoulder tat shows.

 

LOL And don't forget the cleavage! ;)

[justamouse]

Tribal tatts on tribal men are hot. Samoan men with face tatts/tribal bands? Ah-mazing (I'm not saying the hair has nothing to do with it-swoon). Tribal tatts on a white bread kid in NYC? Yeah, not so much.

[Danestress]

Why does that matter to you? White people have certainly tattooed themselves for thousands of years, so it would never occur to me that this was something ok for some races but not others.

 

I was thinking this thread needs to die, but not I sort of curious about this.

[justamouse]

Why does that matter to you? White people have certainly tattooed themselves for thousands of years, so it would never occur to me that this was something ok for some races but not others.

 

I was thinking this thread needs to die, but not I sort of curious about this.

 

Because he's not doing it as a part of his heritage, he's doing it as a wanna be. They don't own it. It isn't a part of who they are, it's more of a fashion they'd like to put on.

[Danestress]

Because he's not doing it as a part of his heritage, he's doing it as a wanna be. They don't own it. It isn't a part of who they are, it's more of a fashion they'd like to put on.

 

Because they liked the way it looked. What is it that they "wanna be?" I don't mean to sound snarky. I am not a big tattoo fan at all, but I don't see what race would have to do with it. How would one "own" liking body art besides actually decorating their bodies. It's permanent. They definitely own it for life, right?

[Haiku]

Why do people get tattoos knowing there is a large segment of the population who have negative feelings about it and then get upset when they come across those people?

 

I don't get upset when people don't like tattoos. I don't give a rip what people think of me or my tattoo. If people judge me on the fact that I have a tattoo, then they are idiots, and it's their loss, not mine.

 

Said in the nicest way possible, of course. :D

 

But if you don't like tattoos, why do you have to make that known? How about just not saying a word? Like my mom, who has never said one. single. word. about my eyebrow ring. ;)

 

Tara

[Slartibartfast]

Because he's not doing it as a part of his heritage, he's doing it as a wanna be. They don't own it. It isn't a part of who they are, it's more of a fashion they'd like to put on.

 

I guess there is a divide between people doing something to look cool and people who have sought real information and wisdom before making their decision. There is a variety of things that would qualify as "tribal" some of those being Celtic.

 

Unless one asked they wouldn't know. I don't know that there is a polite way to ask. :lol:

 

Without asking someone you cannot always deduce their heritage, my husband and I are from different backgrounds and my kids don't look remotely related. :lol:

Edited June 4, 2012 by Sis

[Nakia]

I don't get upset when people don't like tattoos. I don't give a rip what people think of me or my tattoo. If people judge me on the fact that I have a tattoo, then they are idiots, and it's their loss, not mine.

 

Said in the nicest way possible, of course. :D

 

But if you don't like tattoos, why do you have to make that known? How about just not saying a word? Like my mom, who has never said one. single. word. about my eyebrow ring. ;)

 

Tara

 

When I got my first tattoo, the only thing my mom said was that she was surprised I didn't pass out. Now when I got my nose ring?? OMG! You would have thought I told her I was running off with another man or something. She was furious! And I was 33 years old, for pete's sake. :lol:

[GailV]

Perhaps she'd be okay with those white bread NYC kids sporting tattoos that are specific to the tribe of white bread NYC kids.

 

The idea of appropriating various groups' culture in order to look hip is often looked on with dismay. I'd call a person doing it a poser, but who knows whether that word might end up being too negative to be used in a thread on negativity.

[Mama Geek]

I don't get upset when people don't like tattoos. I don't give a rip what people think of me or my tattoo. If people judge me on the fact that I have a tattoo, then they are idiots, and it's their loss, not mine.

 

Said in the nicest way possible, of course. :D

 

But if you don't like tattoos, why do you have to make that known? How about just not saying a word? Like my mom, who has never said one. single. word. about my eyebrow ring. ;)

 

Tara

 

Because somebody asked on a public forum.

 

I would not walk up to somebody and tell them I didn't like their tattoos, but if they asked me what I thought of tattoos, if I had any respect for them at all I would give my honest opinion.