Poll (wait for it!): as a student, did you know of s*xual assaults in your school(s)?

[Mrs Mungo]

I am curious over the recent stories about this. I am making the poll multiple choice.

 

Eta: Did students get groped in class? On the bus

Edited May 4, 2012 by Mrs Mungo

[Sarah CB]

All the time - in every school I went to. When I was 12 the boys used to chase us and give us "purple nurples" (twisting the nipple...hard). When I was 13 (different school) the boys would ask for a hug and use that as an opportunity to grope. There was way, way more - verbally and physically.

 

Even in elementary there was "Friday Flip-Up-Skirts" day. Every Friday. Not that that actually counts as sexual assault.

[Farrar]

There was a socially awkward girl who was viciously bullied when I was in 6th grade. She had a crush on a popular boy and *something* happened where he and another boy ganged up on her in a bathroom, that much is definitely true. And the rumor was that they had forced a pencil, well, it shocks me just to type it. Sigh. I always hoped it wasn't true, but I suspect it was.

 

Other than the more casual forms of assault - grabbing, groping, pinching and so forth without permission, that was by far the worst I ever heard about.

[Meriwether]

I am curious over the recent stories about this. I am making the poll multiple choice.

 

Eta: Did students get groped in class? On the bus

 

No, unless you're counting instances when the girl seemed completely willing but was drunk. I'm think of instances where the guy would *never have asked the girl on a date but took advantage of her drunkenness. Groping - yes.

 

Oh, did you mean inside the school? I never heard anything. We went to a very small school.

Edited May 4, 2012 by Meriwether

[ThisIsTheDay]

I answered No-Other. Boys used to do stuff all the time, grabbing girls, slapping them on the butt, etc. But we didn't call it sexual assault back then. They were just annoying; it was not a big deal.

 

Now they'd probably get expelled.

 

Oh yeah, we used to bring medicine to school and take it when needed.

 

(And smoke pot in the field, but I digress.)

[KirstenH]

Sexual assault was common in the public schools I grew up in, and the private Christian college I went to for undergrad.

[snickelfritz]

Does girls de-pantsing other girls in class count?

 

Unwanted $exual assault from guy to girl... None

 

Public school.

[mommymilkies]

All the time - in every school I went to. When I was 12 the boys used to chase us and give us "purple nurples" (twisting the nipple...hard). When I was 13 (different school) the boys would ask for a hug and use that as an opportunity to grope. There was way, way more - verbally and physically.

 

Even in elementary there was "Friday Flip-Up-Skirts" day. Every Friday. Not that that actually counts as sexual assault.

 

I didn't even count those. Those were common in my schools.

[MamaT]

Yes, by students and teachers. One teacher was fired, and one never got caught and now holds a political position in the town I grew up in. Once a friend of mine was held down by a group of boys and assaulted in a classroom. The teacher thought it was funny. This was a public school.

 

This was back in the day, though. I graduated in 1981.

[Rebecca VA]

Never heard of anything like that. I went to public school in Memphis in the 1970s.

 

One girl (a druggie, but extremely pretty) was murdered one night by her adult boyfriend, but that's not the same as being groped in school.

[Mrs Mungo]

Girls being groped was extremely common in the schools that I attended from middle school and up. I knew of much worse happening on school grounds (not always during school, often at after-school events). I attended large, suburban, "good" public schools and graduated in 1990.

[Soror]

I know I myself was by a girl actually, lesbian, it was a rough situation. She was a bigger girl and then threatened me verbally and in writing with awful things. I took it to the counselor and she ended up leaving the school. I don't the details of all of that ie if it was suggested or she just did. It wouldn't surprise me to find out it happened to others.

[LibraryLover]

Yes. There was one boy, about 13, known for having big issues. He was probaby psychotic, and nobody then realized it. He probably should have been in a hospital.

Edited May 5, 2012 by LibraryLover

[Tasia]

Sexual assault? No. But, there were a few teacher-student relationships that weren't appropriate.

[LibraryLover]

Girls being groped was extremely common in the schools that I attended from middle school and up. I knew of much worse happening on school grounds (not always during school, often at after-school events). I attended large, suburban, "good" public schools and graduated in 1990.

nm

Edited May 5, 2012 by LibraryLover

[NanceXToo]

I was touched inappropriately by a custodian in 5th or 6th grade (I've grown a bit fuzzy on which). It was a public school. Nothing else with teachers or students.

[BeachGirl]

I knew. I was raped by a boy a couple of years older than me who went to my school. I wasn't the first apparently but I was the last. Sorry to blurt it out but the school had/has no idea this happened.

[dangermom]

Wow, I'm sure stuff like that was going on in my school, but I never heard about it or saw it. What I did know about was a big-news incident involving a girl in my class and the volleyball coach and a hot tub. And we all knew about the chemistry teacher, who was way too friendly with the girls. We all knew not to accept a ride from him (he had a red sports car), and he massaged my shoulders in class more than once. In fact, I probably didn't deserve that A in chemistry...

[LaxMom]

I answered No-Other. Boys used to do stuff all the time, grabbing girls, slapping them on the butt, etc. But we didn't call it sexual assault back then. They were just annoying; it was not a big deal.

 

Now they'd probably get expelled.

 

Oh yeah, we used to bring medicine to school and take it when needed.

 

(And smoke pot in the field, but I digress.)

 

Hey! I think we went to the same school! (Public school, graduated in '89)

 

But, no, I wouldn't call slapping or bra snapping "s@xual assault". It was annoying behavior. I used to snap the underwear waistband of the guy that sat in front of me in French. Because it was sticking out. Nothing s@xual, I was just bugging him (we were friends). I also tied the shoe of my desk mate in Latin to the chair leg every day. Also just being annoying. He was one of my best friends' boyfriend, and we all hung out all the time.

 

Frankly, with the current trend of wearing ones pants below one's buttocks, I have a hard time not pantsing random young men on the street. ;)

Edited May 4, 2012 by MyCrazyHouse

[TraciWA]

If there were any I never heard of them.

[Amy in NH]

Not assaults, but consensual acts within the school building...

[Kathryn]

In school? No. Suburban mid-1990s here.

[Onceuponatime]

Yes, I was groped more than once in the hallway between classes by an unknown assailant who used the crush of students to his advantage. It definitely felt like an assault. I finally told my friends and one girl who was built like a battleship walked directly in front of me for a while. Noone messed with her.

 

I was also groped by some boys who passed by me on my way home from school. I still wonder if I had a sign on me that said "victim." It was psychologically devastating to me.

 

Public school, late 70's.

Edited May 5, 2012 by Onceuponatime

[Stacy in NJ]

standards it was just messing around.

 

What we call "sexual assault" has changed over the years. Sexual assault used to be rape or darn near rape, not a grope or a pat or a pinch.

Edited May 5, 2012 by Stacy in NJ

[kalanamak]

I answered No-Other. Boys used to do stuff all the time, grabbing girls, slapping them on the butt, etc. But we didn't call it sexual assault back then. They were just annoying; it was not a big deal.

 

Now they'd probably get expelled.

 

Oh yeah, we used to bring medicine to school and take it when needed.

 

(And smoke pot in the field, but I digress.)

 

Way back in the That 70's Show era, the worst was boys calling out numbers when the girls walked by (most of use were 6s, as I recall).

 

(We didn't have a field, but we had a big tree and bush-filled cemetery next door.)

 

I voted no.

[Mrs Mungo]

I am not talking about bra snapping. But, hands down shirts or up skirts was a daily occurrence. Why *wouldn't* it be s*xual assault? What would it be if it happened in an office? Why should schoolgirls have to put up with it?

Edited May 5, 2012 by Mrs Mungo

[Hannah C.]

I voted yes - public school, and yes - other. The public school incident I know of involved two male students on a school trip. The assaults which occurred at my college involved drinking.

 

It's awful how poorly some schools deal with s*xual assault cases - if they are even reported. My heart aches for all those who have experienced anything of this sort. :(

[Loudwater School]

I knew of assaults by our public school janitor on several girls, and it was common for boys to grope and grab girls, even in elementary school.

[magnificent_baby]

I didn't know then, but am fairly certain it occured by a teacher in elementary. Not to myself, but to boys in the classroom. He has been recently accused and is in jail.

[angela in ohio]

Nope. I went to public school in a small Midwest town (a class of 250 kids or so) and graduated in 1992. There was no groping, no catcalling, nothing in school. That would not have ended well for the boy. :001_huh: The boys we went to school with were our friends' brothers and cousins, our neighbors, our parents' friends' kids. People dated and had s#x, and there were those few girls everyone knew about who messed around at parties, of course. It was overall a pretty healthy environment - old-fashioned small town values.

[Ibbygirl]

I voted yes and went to public school graduated in 1989. There was a girl who was raped in a stairwell at my high school and definitely the boys doing the groping thing. I remember that even i middle school. Pigs!

Edited May 5, 2012 by Ibbygirl

[kalanamak]

 

Frankly, with the current trend of wearing ones pants below one's buttocks, I have a hard time not pantsing random young men on the street. ;)

 

:lol: I want to say. "You could chase the girls faster if you just PULL UP THOSE PANTS AND TIE YOUR SHOELACES."

 

Have you seen the cartoon of the middleaged, chubby man trying on some B-boy pants. The caption says: Hey, my pants from high school still fit!

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Google Mepham hazing incident.

[momma2three]

No, nothing like any of this at my high school.

 

My 8th grade math teacher was known for giving the blonde girls hugs. He had been there forever and mothers who had had him would warn their daughters not to get to close to him! That seems to crazy to me now, but everyone thought it was kind of funny at the time.

 

My 8th grade math teacher was fired for inappropriately touching an 8th grade girl. That was after I left. He was nice, and a very popular teacher. There were never any rumors about him as far as I know. It's weird that he got caught, while the English teacher is probably still there.

 

I don't think there was even bra snapping or pantsing at my middle school. I thought that was just something that happened in Judy Blume novels, not in real life. Certainly none of that at my high school.

[Sarah CB]

I didn't even count those. Those were common in my schools.

 

Well, I certainly didn't consider it sexual abuse at the time - it was just a regular, but annoying, occurance. Trying to imagine my dd having to deal with that makes it seem a little more serious to me, but the whole "abuse" word is pretty heavy. Maybe unwanted sexual touching? I don't know.

[Greta]

I knew of harassment incidents, but those were just verbal and were not assaults because no physical contact was made.

 

Once, my best friend was punched, hard, in her breast by a boy who was a year older and much bigger and stronger. I don't think his motivation was sexual, I think he just wanted to hurt her as badly as possible without leaving any obvious physical marks such as a bleeding nose. A assault, certainly, but probably not a sexual assault. (??)

 

I would not be at all surprised to learn that worse things had happened while I was there. Saddened, sickened, but not surprised. I have a friend who was gang raped by five boys after school when she was only 12 years old. This was in a public school in a small town in Texas. I can't find the words to adequately express my sympathy for all the women out there who have had to endure sexual assault, in all its disgusting forms. I wish that crimes like this were taken more seriously, and prosecuted more justly.

Edited May 5, 2012 by GretaLynne

[elise1mds]

Ayup. Public school. Let's just say everyone knew who to avoid when we went on trips with the band.

[sparrow]

Yes, I know of assaults by students and teachers. I attended a public school in a small, mid-western town (pop. ~8,000) during the mid to late eighties.

[sparrow]

Nope. I went to public school in a small Midwest town (a class of 250 kids or so) and graduated in 1992. There was no groping, no catcalling, nothing in school. That would not have ended well for the boy. :001_huh: The boys we went to school with were our friends' brothers and cousins, our neighbors, our parents' friends' kids. People dated and had s#x, and there were those few girls everyone knew about who messed around at parties, of course. It was overall a pretty healthy environment - old-fashioned small town values.

 

This is the complete opposite of my experience in a small town. There seemed to be a "good ol' boys" club that looked the other way. My class had less than 150 kids.

[joannqn]

In 7th grade, I had a boy who groped me frequently. He'd walk by my lockers and grab me on the way by or grab me while walking down the halls. We shared art class together, and he sat by the sink so he could grope me while I cleaned up. I wasn't able to avoid him. My mom took it to the principal and told them that if they didn't do anything to stop it, I had her permission to do whatever was necessary. Well, the school did absolutely nothing about it. One day I was at my locker and saw him coming. I pretended to be focused on getting stuff in/out of my locker and turned just in time to land a good kick to his crotch. I wasn't seen by a teacher, but had I been, my mom would have been on my side. He never touched me again.

 

In 9th grade, a tough girl came up to me and told me that so-and-so wanted her to beat me up. I asked her if she wanted to know why and told her that he had been repeatedly (like a dozen times) asking me out. I kept telling him no so he sicced her on me. She laughed and walked away. I pointed him out to my mom one day. She pulled a sudden u-turn in a busy street, drove the wrong way back up the school's drive way, got out of the car, and chewed him out in front of his friends. She was 5'3" and a size 3; he was 6'2" and backpedaled with "yes, ma'am and no ma'am". He never bothered me again. You don't mess with my mom. :lol:

 

Throughout high school, I had one boy in particular who grabbed my breasts or commented about them on a near daily basis. He as so childish, I mostly ignored him.

 

 

My mom did a lot of things wrong (and still does) but she always had my back with school problems.

Edited May 5, 2012 by joannqn

[SweetPea]

There was a 7th grade social studies teachers that creeped me out. I got really weard vibes from him and never was the last to leave and never with him alone. Came out 5 years ago that he molested many girls along the way and it started with a girl in my class that year ('84).

 

I think lots happened that I had no idea about.

[CroppinIt]

I didn't, but then again

1) I was a nerd and would have been the last person anybody groped anyway, and

2) I was incredibly naive (I wouldn't have known where to get drugs, either).

[Ibbygirl]

In 7th grade, I had a boy who groped me frequently. He'd walk by my lockers and grab me on the way by or grab me while walking down the halls. We shared art class together, and he sat by the sink so he could grope me while I cleaned up. I wasn't able to avoid him. My mom took it to the principal and told them that if they didn't do anything to stop it, I had her permission to do whatever was necessary. Well, the school did absolutely nothing about it. One day I was at my locker and saw him coming. I pretended to be focused on getting stuff in/out of my locker and turned just in time to land a good kick to his crotch. I wasn't seen by a teacher, but had I been, my mom would have been on my side. He never touched me again.

 

In 9th grade, a tough girl came up to me and told me that so-and-so wanted her to beat me up. I asked her if she wanted to know why and told her that he had been repeatedly (like a dozen times) asking me out. I kept telling him no so he sicced her on me. She laughed and walked away. I pointed him out to my mom one day. She pulled a sudden u-turn in a busy street, drove the wrong way back up the school's drive way, got out of the car, and chewed him out in front of his friends. She was 5'3" and a size 3; he was 6'2" and backpedaled with "yes, ma'am and no ma'am". He never bothered me again. You don't mess with my mom. :lol:

 

Throughout high school, I had one boy in particular who grabbed my breasts or commented about them on a near daily basis. He as so childish, I mostly ignored him.

 

 

My mom did a lot of things wrong (and still does) but she always had my back with school problems.

 

 

I LOVE your mom!! hehehehe :hurray:

[Melissa in Australia]

Yes,

in primary school a boy and girl were raped by an older student. He spent time in a remand centre for it. In high school boys would grab girls, shove them against the wall and press themselves against them. I started carrying a stack of books in front of me as a sort of shield.

In high school one male teacher was very familiar with boys in the classroom Picking them up by their pants etc.

[stripe]

I don't think there was even bra snapping or pantsing at my middle school. I thought that was just something that happened in Judy Blume novels, not in real life. Certainly none of that at my high school.

 

I was pantsed in 6th grade and 8th grade. In two different schools thousands of miles from each other. Unfortunately not just in books.

 

There was a lot of mooning at my high school. Usually someone at the back of the bus waiting ahead of us would moom us. A fair number of people seemed to moon us from bus stops, too. What is that about anyway??

 

There was an incident that I witnessed where two boys grabbed a girl, who was very tall, big, strong, and extremely busty, one grabbed her breasts, she waved her pocket folding scissors at him. She was the one who got in trouble because she used a weapon. She then left our school. I ran into her years later, in college, and she said she was so disgusted, she transferred elsewhere.

[Cinder]

I voted no and private school as well as no and other. I went to a private school where the majority were "day" students but we also had many "boarders." Boarding was permitted starting in 7th grade. In the six years I attended I remember hearing a vague rumor in 7th or 8th grade that a boy boarder had raped a girl boarder. I have no idea if this was true. Other than that I was unaware of any assaults and had never heard rumors of such.

[Parrothead]

Yes. I was assaulted on the bus. I graduated mid 1980s.

[Rosy]

Not beyond elementary school pantsing (which went both ways) and feeling someone's back to see if they were wearing a bra. But my high school was an affluent suburban school with a lot of strong extracurricular programs and my main social circle was the honor roll/band geeks. Not that those categories mean we were immune, but we had a lot fewer of the risk factors where abuse is more common.

 

I will say that a close friend in a younger grade reconnected with an elementary school friend, they went out and he went farther than she was comfortable with after she asked him to stop. That's the only specific instance of abuse I know of.

[Mommyfaithe]

Does bra snapping count?? OY! That was awful. I remember punching a boy in the nose for that.....I said he had it coming....teacher, and the kids dad agreed:D

[Wabi Sabi]

No, I'm not aware of any assaults when I was in school. I chose other because I attended both public and private schools.