What happened to my homeschooling?

[MedicMom]

Just a bit of background: My parents started homeschooling me sometime in the mid 1980s(I was born in 1981) at the suggestion of the local school district. I was an early reader and they wanted to bus me one way to gifted classes, which my parents didn't feel was appropriate at age five and refused. The school officials nicely suggested they just keep me home then, my parents researched homeschooling, and 25 years later my mom is about to graduate her sixth child with two more in high school. So I have been around homeschooling a long, long time as a student, and then helping my mom in my late teens as a teacher/curriculum researcher/etc while I went to the community college. For the most part, we were classicly homeschooled, and an academic education was a big deal in my home. I eventually graduated from a four year private college with two bachelor's degrees, where there were a lot of homeschoolers who seemed to have had a similar experience to mine. All of us had had a rigorous, academic homeschool education.

 

Fast forward about ten years. I live in upstate New York, and have an almost two-year-old. Suddenly he is teaching himself addition and reading, and everyone I know is preparing to send their two-year-olds to half day preschool in the fall. We have two options: a private nursery school and the public school preschool. Preschool is a very, very big thing here. I'm not a fan of pushing early formal academics(meaning: the two preschools aren't play preschools here, even at 2, and I think my little boy needs to play a lot still), and suddenly have to start doing some research and make some decisions far sooner than I had expected. For my husband(who is also a homeschool graduate) and I, homeschooling is the only route to take at this point.

 

So I start researching. And I am bewildered and confused at how the homeschool world appears to have changed in ten years. I looked at the LEAH conference, thinking maybe it would be something I could swing in and start looking through curriculum, and it appears there are only two or three academic seminars. The rest seem to be....I don't know...all about stressing Christian parenting. The teen track titles just seem bizarre. When God Writes Your Love Story? Sacred Femininity? Christianity and Culture? I know I can't base my judgement on seminar titles, but this is leading me to believe that LEAH does not support the academic and social goals we have for our children, which do not include courtship or strict gender roles.

 

I start doing some more reading, and find the homeschool world appears to have turned itself on its head in the last ten years, at least in my area. All of my homeschooled friends went to college. We studied science and Latin and mathematics and world history in depth in high school. We dated, just like anybody else. Nobody got married before finishing college. My teenage sister's homeschool acquaintances are getting married at 18 and 19 and don't believe in college for women. They aren't studying rigorous academics; they are "earning a PhD in homemaking." Their husbands are dating the dads in some weird ritual. I start calling around the homeschool "leaders" around me and don't find one that wants to answer my homeschool curriculum questions or social opportunities for a preschooler; they ask where I go to church(I don't. We work Sundays usually). The homeschool magazines I flip through have some good articles, but also seem to be pushing a very narrow, conservative agenda that does not treat women or families the way I believe.

 

Is this just my geographic area(I am in the Fingerlakes region of NY)? I know we have a great many radical unschoolers in Ithaca, which is thirty miles from me(I won't fit in well there, either), but I had no idea the religious overtones that had taken over elsewhere here. Is this the norm now, and I just have to learn to cope with it, or am I blowing a few seminar titles and articles and conversations way out of proportion?

 

In short, what happened to my homeschooling?

 

(I don't mean to offend anyone who shares these beliefs. I just don't remember them being as pervasive when I was in high school, and the one LEAH convention I went to at 13 seemed to focus on academic subjects. Or was it there and we were just so busy doing our own thing and didn't notice?)

[Mama Geek]

More and more Christians are turning to homeschooling because they don't approve of the values pushed in the public schools. I am Christian will raise my dd in the Christian faith. That being said she will also be well educated by us and we will have high standards. I think expectations vary depending on where you are. I was just talking to a mom the other day and she said in her part of Texas there are lots of parents who are homeschooling without the rigor and it just blows her mind. Her oldest is off to college with others soon to follow.

 

On this forum you will find a wide range of people including people who send their kids to a brick and mortar school.

[MedicMom]

Just wanted to add that I don't have a problem with B&M schools. We live rurally and our only option would be a public school that is pushing test prep at very early ages and is not stellar academically to begin with. We do not have access to private schools here as the closest is forty five minutes away, and that's just not doable for us.

 

I really don't want to offend anyone. It just seems like a different world homeschool-wise than it was fifteen years ago, and I'm trying to decide if it's my location or if things have simply changed overall.

Edited April 19, 2012 by MedicMom
I really do know how to spell

[Susann]

No, it's not just your area. I'm in the Hoosier heartland, oldest dd is a sophmore in computer engineering at Rose-Hulman (extremely rigorous to say the least), youngest dd is is heading to college this fall planning to study neuroscience/genetics at Purdue. Youngest dd commented the other day that most of her friends aren't academically oriented and are heading to college to get a degree but are just hanging out until married. I quite going to the state conferences because of exactly what you've seen. Don't pay attention to what others are doing. Set the goals for your family and enjoy the ride!

[Truscifi]

It is hard to find a convention these days that actually focuses on academics. However, there are curricula and groups that are not religious in nature and have the level of academic rigor you are looking for. They are also hard to find, unfortunately. As for how that compares to 10 years ago, I have no idea. I have been homeschooling for 4 years now and it has been like this the whole time, at least in my area.

[PeacefulChaos]

I think it varies. We do have some uber-religious groups where I am. Our state convention wasn't (that I remember, anyway) overly religious. I don't find it all that surprising, but honestly I thought homeschooling= mennonites growing up. :D :lol: Only upon growing up myself and meeting other homeschoolers did I realize that isn't the case!

I think you just have to take the good with the bad. I'm sure you can find plenty out there that isn't overtly religious or even close to being religious, if that is your preference. :)

[Mama Anna]

I'm a conservative Christian with a conservative homeschool conference happening this weekend half an hour (tops) away. I'm sorry to miss the MUS session. I should be able to hit the one on our state laws. Mostly, I go for the CURRICULUM FAIR. :drool5:

 

Just saying that even some who share the conservative Christian values but have academic rigor up there as a majorly high priority for the homeschooling choice find the vast majority of the sessions at one of these types of conferences just . . . unhelpful.

 

Commiserating,

 

Mama Anna

[happyhomemaker]

Just saying that even some who share the conservative Christian values but have academic rigor up there as a majorly high priority for the homeschooling choice find the vast majority of the sessions at one of these types of conferences just . . . unhelpful.

 

:iagree: I am a conservative Christian, but academics are a big priority here. I do know the people like the OP is talking about though and I find it disturbing that these are the people being catered to instead of those who want to give their kids a great education.

[houseofkids&pets]

I am close to you in the Finger Lakes region. This is only my second year of homeschooling (my first full year:)), so I was looking forward to going to the LEAH conference. I was hoping to check out the new LOE curriculum. When I looked at the conference info, there isn't any speaker or educational materials that I am interested in going to see. It is quite disappointing.

[Colleen in NS]

I went to a church in the early/mid 80s, and every family (except mine - I was a mid-teen in a single-mother household, while the other families only had little kids) homeschooled. I'd never heard of it before. They were all conservative Christians. We were the lowly public schoolers, lol (but my teacher-mother taught some of those Moms how to teach their kids to read, even though, heaven forbid, she was a divorcee). Your experience described above is very different from what I saw in these people. I'm thinking that many of the seminar titles you are seeing now are the result of those little kids growing up. I'm rather jealous of the great education you received!! Keep on keeping on.

[Mimm]

That's so funny how different our experiences are. I was also born in 81 and also homeschooled. But in my area it seemed like everyone was conservative, or maybe it was just the families we hung out with. Courtship, women at home obeying their husbands and having lots of babies. To me, it feels so much more diverse now, like we have so many more options. Be glad you had the experience you did. :)

[lakerks]

I think it would be interesting to hear your mother's observations since she's been involved in homeschooling for a long time. I hope you'll ask her and tell us what she says.

[Jeanne in MN]

SWB blogged about this very thing at conventions:

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.susanwisebauer.com%2Fblog%2Fpublicity%2Fone-more-update-about-future-plans%2F&h=SAQGGZB17AQFI1DWlX8j_QMGFY45x-3IPXaVJFomU8VZwTA

 

I was just going to say the share the same thing! Also, I see the same thing at our state conference. I understand why they have lifestyle workshops, but there were a lot at ours this spring! I'm a Christian too, but I really, really need help with academic areas.

 

The MACHE conference had 16 family/worldview/Christian focused workshops vs. 20 academic focused workshops. (Roughly counting)

[Supertechmom]

J...

So I start researching. And I am bewildered and confused at how the homeschool world appears to have changed in ten years. I looked at the LEAH conference, thinking maybe it would be something I could swing in and start looking through curriculum, and it appears there are only two or three academic seminars. The rest seem to be....I don't know...all about stressing Christian parenting. The teen track titles just seem bizarre. When God Writes Your Love Story? Sacred Femininity? Christianity and Culture? I know I can't base my judgement on seminar titles, but this is leading me to believe that LEAH does not support the academic and social goals we have for our children, which do not include courtship or strict gender roles.

 

I start doing some more reading, and find the homeschool world appears to have turned itself on its head in the last ten years, at least in my area. All of my homeschooled friends went to college. We studied science and Latin and mathematics and world history in depth in high school. We dated, just like anybody else. Nobody got married before finishing college. My teenage sister's homeschool acquaintances are getting married at 18 and 19 and don't believe in college for women. They aren't studying rigorous academics; they are "earning a PhD in homemaking." Their husbands are dating the dads in some weird ritual. I start calling around the homeschool "leaders" around me and don't find one that wants to answer my homeschool curriculum questions or social opportunities for a preschooler; they ask where I go to church(I don't. We work Sundays usually). The homeschool magazines I flip through have some good articles, but also seem to be pushing a very narrow, conservative agenda that does not treat women or families the way I believe.

 

Is this just my geographic area(I am in the Fingerlakes region of NY)? I know we have a great many radical unschoolers in Ithaca, which is thirty miles from me(I won't fit in well there, either), but I had no idea the religious overtones that had taken over elsewhere here. Is this the norm now, and I just have to learn to cope with it, or am I blowing a few seminar titles and articles and conversations way out of proportion?

 

In short, what happened to my homeschooling?

 

(I don't mean to offend anyone who shares these beliefs. I just don't remember them being as pervasive when I was in high school, and the one LEAH convention I went to at 13 seemed to focus on academic subjects. Or was it there and we were just so busy doing our own thing and didn't notice?)

 

 

:iagree:For a moment there I thought you were in my state. :tongue_smilie: I can't say anything that wouldn't be a huge rant that would offend most and probably get me banned so I am stopping here. I'm just really realizing this around here as I see us homeschooling more and more "alone" and am having to process this rant myself. Sometimes my kids tell their daddy "mommy was shouting in her closet again" It . just. boggles. my . mind.

[Soror]

I find this interesting to read as locally I'm only really familiar with the religious side of hs'ing. I live in a very rural, conservative Christian area though so I don't know how much is regional. This makes me really wonder about some of the local hs'ers I know, perhaps the divide between us is deeper than I thought. I have gotten the impression from some that they didn't seem to really value schooling but I dismissed as it seemed like a ridiculous idea, maybe not. FTR we are Christian hs'ers as well but not of the dominate local flavor- I'm the lone Catholic hs'er, as far as know in the whole county.

[Mommy22alyns]

My limited experience here hasn't exactly shown hs'ers who place academics as priority. It seems like this board is my haven for that. ;)

[AnaShoo]

As someone who is new to homeschooling (but, ironically, was homeschooled, but that's another story I'm going to bypass atm), I've been sort of bothered by the mass of very religious curriculum I keep running into. We are going to start homeschooling this fall, so I haven't gotten into finding a group or anything, but I worry it's going to be difficult.

 

We're actually rather religious ourselves, but we're not homeschooling because of that at all. I want my kids to be exposed to lots of different viewpoints, and not be threatened by someone because they believe in something else. I'm keeping them home because my oldest is speeding through certain subjects and I worry about him being bored, plus we are military and move far too often for him to get what he needs - and I don't want to force him to switch schools partway through the year, something is just going to be inevitable in our life.

 

I keep finding curriculum, then dropping it because it talks about the bible because I am worried it will be too biased. Maybe that's unfair, but since I have yet to be anywhere where I could actually read the stuff, I don't want to buy it and find out later it's not gonna work out...

 

Anyway, I worry that when I tell people we homeschool, that's the sort of people they think we are. We're not the Duggars, thanks.

Edited April 19, 2012 by AnaShoo

[ElizaG]

I find this interesting to read as locally I'm only really familiar with the religious side of hs'ing. I live in a very rural, conservative Christian area though so I don't know how much is regional. This makes me really wonder about some of the local hs'ers I know, perhaps the divide between us is deeper than I thought. I have gotten the impression from some that they didn't seem to really value schooling but I dismissed as it seemed like a ridiculous idea, maybe not. FTR we are Christian hs'ers as well but not of the dominate local flavor- I'm the lone Catholic hs'er, as far as know in the whole county.

I have a friend who moved from a well-educated coastal suburban area to a community like you're describing. She's found that a large proportion of the (relatively few) Catholic homeschoolers tend to follow the local trend of not caring about academics, especially for their daughters. It sounds very frustrating.

 

My sense is that this attitude is more likely to take hold among converts to the faith who are somewhat isolated geographically, or others who don't have a personal connection to the tradition of Catholic education. Our family isn't in that situation. (My mother studied Newman's Idea of a University during teacher training in Ireland. DH's mother and grandmother both got master's degrees here in the USA. :)) So this supposed dichotomy between Christian womanhood & education is foreign to us.

[Jennifer3141]

I homeschool with a small group of people using classical methods mostly. We have noticed that some of the Xtian homeschoolers are definitely homeschooling much more for "religious" reasons than academic. I've head other local homeschoolers besmirch SWB for her stance on creationism and I don't even know what her stance is or how/why it pertains to most curriculum.

 

I have watched people I started in LLL with move farther and farther away from homeschooling for academic purposes to homeschooling with very specific curriculum for a very specific purpose of raising their kids in the one exact "right" way, which they can only do if they follow this one person's curriculum for their specific lifestyle...

 

It's obviously working for them because entire conferences are popping up with more and more limitations on the kinds of participants and vendors they want.

 

It's probably up to "us" to create a conference that the rest of us would be interested in attending. :001_smile:

[Hen]

we need a Festivus for the rest of us conference :001_smile:

 

I read SWB's blog post on this, it was really well expressed, but sad.

 

I am in Ca, I stopped going to our big Christian homeschool convention 9 years ago. We are conservative in many areas of life/faith but don't seem to fit neatly into a box.

 

I am so excited that a different, more inclusive (it looked like by speakers& vendors) homeschool convention is coming to our area for the first time, SWB will be speaking!

 

I think this could be related to geographic area, but I also sense that many "movements" have picked up steam, ministries and reach seem to have grown and they are now dictating some conventions or making their own. I am sad to see homeschoolers being divided by "flavor". It would be nice to have more conventions center on academics and the art of teaching, so more parents could be reached.

[MedicMom]

We would identify ourselves as Conservative Christians, though I tend to be a little more liberal politically and am not a young earth creationist per the stereotype...my parents are much more conservative than I.

 

Anyway, I did talk to my mom a bit about it. I'm running out the door now, but she had some interesting food for thought--her take was that the very conservative(I don't know what to call it without stereotyping, which I don't really want to do) of homeschoolers has always been there, but wasn't always able to be as vocal as they are today. She said that there was a strong pull towards ATI when she first started and that she eventually dropped out of our local LEAH group because it got "too weird," as she described it. She also said that because she had a large family(eight kids), homeschooled, gardened, etc. that many people assumed she was quiverfull and all that implies--but that when the ones who followed that line of thought got to know her and discovered our family wasn't into quiverfull/courtship/family integrated church, they stopped pursuing friendship with my parents. Mom feels though that while this has always been a part of the homeschooling movement, the advent of the internet has made it possible to be far more vocal far easier. She pointed out that moms with many homeschooled children don't have time to write books and such, but that blogging/facebook and such have made it much easier to vocalize their views, and that is why I am finding such a large amount of it on homeschooling websites.

 

Also, which I never knew, apparently an acquaintance's father approached my dad when I was seventeen with the "intention to start a courtship." My dad told them that the young man was welcome to ask me himself, and we never heard another word from them. :lol:

[KungFuPanda]

PLENTY of academic, secular homeschoolers (Even if they do practice their faith, not everyone homeschools for it.) in my area. I've never had trouble finding inclusive homeschooling groups. I'm in the Wash-Balt area. There ARE religious groups around, but the whole uber-conservative courtship-types aren't so easy to find here. The girls around here ARE going to college and I've yet to see one of the teens get married.

[Parrothead]

We are rigorous mostly secular homeschoolers. We are the wrong kind of Christians for most groups so we don't participate. You can start a secular group. There may be others like you in your area.

 

I think there is a secular homeschoolers social group if you are interested.

 

Have heart. There is plenty of secular material out there for us to chose from.

[usetoschool]

Just a bit of background: My parents started homeschooling me sometime in the mid 1980s(I was born in 1981) at the suggestion of the local school district...was it there and we were just so busy doing our own thing and didn't notice?)

 

Well, beside the depressing fact that I am old enough to be your mother :glare: I would say that it has always been there. I have been homeschooling since 1992 and our one and only homeschool support group had a big falling out because they required everyone who served in leadership to be the right kind of Christian. We used to have a curriculum fair, which was sponsored by our local mega church and had mostly life style presentations etc.

 

I honestly think there are more and better resources available now, and definitely more secular resources, though still not enough for many rigorous, academic homeschoolers (see the threads on secular science for example).

 

Mostly, I think you should call this your homeschool support group and hang out here. If there are enough of us we can influence the future of homeschooling, right? (mwah ha ha ha ha) If you search for "rigor" you will find many good discussions.

[DianeW88]

I think the homeschool convention organizers have slowly lost their collective minds over the years. :glare:

 

When I started going to the CHEC (CO) homeschool conference back in 1993, they were inclusive...welcoming everyone, no matter what their faith. Granted, there wasn't much in the way of curriculum sellers back then, but they were all there. And they represented the spectrum of beliefs from BJU to Calvert. Then, in about 1997, Calvert was "uninvited", because they weren't "Christian" enough. Things went downhill from there, to the point where more than half the vendors have NOTHING whatsoever to do with homeschooling. Even SL is no longer welcome at that convention, and it's in their own backyard. :001_huh:

 

Needless to say, I don't even bother to attend anymore.

[laughing lioness]

SWB blogged about this very thing at conventions:

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.susanwisebauer.com%2Fblog%2Fpublicity%2Fone-more-update-about-future-plans%2F&h=SAQGGZB17AQFI1DWlX8j_QMGFY45x-3IPXaVJFomU8VZwTA

 

 

Was gonna link this :001_smile:- SWB nails it again.

[NotSoObvious]

When I went to my first homeschool conference two years ago, I was shocked when they opened with a prayer.

 

We are secular, academic homeschoolers too. I have found other like me, but I seem to run into more families who are on one of the ends of the spectrum- extremely conservative or radical unschoolers. (Like how I just used myself as the "norm" there? Sorry! I hope you all get my point without offense.)

 

That's actually why I like SWB and this board. Here I find the biggest group of academic homeschoolers, religious or not, who seem to have similar goals for their children.

 

We are out there. We are just busy reading. :tongue_smilie:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Religion has never come up in any of the homeschool circles I've been with. But then we have mostly schooled at home without a lot of input from others. I went to one conference when ds14 was in kindergarten but haven't felt a need to go to any others so I don't know what those are like around here.

[Mommyfaithe]

This is completely my experience as well...also in NY. I quit LEAH for the same reason...went to one convention and hi tailed it outta there so fast. It actually depressed me for months.....sigh.....

 

It sounds so familiar...ATI, being mistaken for quiver full( we really like kids:D), cutting off friendships because we didn't FIT the mold...all of it....my older girls took a bit of shunning because I let them wear jeans and fitted jackets....OY!

 

 

 

We would identify ourselves as Conservative Christians, though I tend to be a little more liberal politically and am not a young earth creationist per the stereotype...my parents are much more conservative than I.

 

Anyway, I did talk to my mom a bit about it. I'm running out the door now, but she had some interesting food for thought--her take was that the very conservative(I don't know what to call it without stereotyping, which I don't really want to do) of homeschoolers has always been there, but wasn't always able to be as vocal as they are today. She said that there was a strong pull towards ATI when she first started and that she eventually dropped out of our local LEAH group because it got "too weird," as she described it. She also said that because she had a large family(eight kids), homeschooled, gardened, etc. that many people assumed she was quiverfull and all that implies--but that when the ones who followed that line of thought got to know her and discovered our family wasn't into quiverfull/courtship/family integrated church, they stopped pursuing friendship with my parents. Mom feels though that while this has always been a part of the homeschooling movement, the advent of the internet has made it possible to be far more vocal far easier. She pointed out that moms with many homeschooled children don't have time to write books and such, but that blogging/facebook and such have made it much easier to vocalize their views, and that is why I am finding such a large amount of it on homeschooling websites.

 

Also, which I never knew, apparently an acquaintance's father approached my dad when I was seventeen with the "intention to start a courtship." My dad told them that the young man was welcome to ask me himself, and we never heard another word from them. :lol:

 

Ftr, I homeschool for religious and academic reasons....we just did not want to follow their version of religion....and academics are a very high priority in our family.

Edited April 20, 2012 by Mommyfaithe

[Zuzu822]

Depending on where you are in the Finger Lakes, you may want to take a peek at the HS opportunities in Syracuse. Many options that are not based around a particular worldview. You can PM me if you'd like. :)

[Coffeetime]

We would identify ourselves as Conservative Christians, though I tend to be a little more liberal politically and am not a young earth creationist per the stereotype...my parents are much more conservative than I.

 

Anyway, I did talk to my mom a bit about it. I'm running out the door now, but she had some interesting food for thought--her take was that the very conservative(I don't know what to call it without stereotyping, which I don't really want to do) of homeschoolers has always been there, but wasn't always able to be as vocal as they are today. She said that there was a strong pull towards ATI when she first started and that she eventually dropped out of our local LEAH group because it got "too weird," as she described it. She also said that because she had a large family(eight kids), homeschooled, gardened, etc. that many people assumed she was quiverfull and all that implies--but that when the ones who followed that line of thought got to know her and discovered our family wasn't into quiverfull/courtship/family integrated church, they stopped pursuing friendship with my parents. Mom feels though that while this has always been a part of the homeschooling movement, the advent of the internet has made it possible to be far more vocal far easier. She pointed out that moms with many homeschooled children don't have time to write books and such, but that blogging/facebook and such have made it much easier to vocalize their views, and that is why I am finding such a large amount of it on homeschooling websites.

 

Also, which I never knew, apparently an acquaintance's father approached my dad when I was seventeen with the "intention to start a courtship." My dad told them that the young man was welcome to ask me himself, and we never heard another word from them. :lol:

 

I was also homeschooled through the '80s and '90s. Interestingly, my experience with it has been the exact opposite of yours. Growing up, we were around a LOT of ATI homeschoolers. Thankfully, my parents never gave into the peer pressure to join (actually, I think I can thank my dad for that!) but I would say it made up the majority of our "homeschool" circle. Now, as a mom who home educates mainly for the academic advantage, I find that the homeschoolers I meet are definitely more mainstream and academically inclined. I don't know any who are ultra-conservative, 'PHD in homemaking' types. (That phrase made me laugh, because I've totally heard that one before!) I tend to think that your mom is correct- I don't think the ATI, Vision Forum types hold more sway, I think they're just more organized and vocal. And unfortunately, people think that they are the "face" of home education-they're not. If you haven't read SWB's blog post on it today, do. She has it spot on and I so appreciate that she has the courage to say it out loud.

 

 

That's actually why I like SWB and this board. Here I find the biggest group of academic homeschoolers, religious or not, who seem to have similar goals for their children.

 

We are out there. We are just busy reading. :tongue_smilie:

:iagree:

[StartingOver]

I have been homeschooling for 25 years now and have 3 graduates with two little ones just getting started. I think the biggest change over the years, as I see it, is that we had something to prove so long ago. I hardly knew anyone that homeschooled. Everyone I knew was sure that I would fail. I found TWTM in 1999 and ran with it. Classical Rigorous education was perfect for my family, and still is.

 

There were no test scores, no proof that homeschoolers could succeed. There were not any, easy for mom, curriculum written by other mom's who had been there. We had to find out own way. It was scary.

 

It is harder now, as it seems I am still on the outside. As homeschooling has grown, it had changed drastically. And not it ways I would have wished it. :001_smile: Secular, or academic, or secular academic homeschoolers are still the minority. :lol::lol:

 

But that is ok! Because my only real concern is my own family. I will continue my path, even if it is lonely. In the end I know I have done everything I can, as I am sure most parents do, no matter what their path is in this homeschooling journey.

 

 

Just a bit of background: My parents started homeschooling me sometime in the mid 1980s(I was born in 1981) at the suggestion of the local school district. I was an early reader and they wanted to bus me one way to gifted classes, which my parents didn't feel was appropriate at age five and refused. The school officials nicely suggested they just keep me home then, my parents researched homeschooling, and 25 years later my mom is about to graduate her sixth child with two more in high school. So I have been around homeschooling a long, long time as a student, and then helping my mom in my late teens as a teacher/curriculum researcher/etc while I went to the community college. For the most part, we were classicly homeschooled, and an academic education was a big deal in my home. I eventually graduated from a four year private college with two bachelor's degrees, where there were a lot of homeschoolers who seemed to have had a similar experience to mine. All of us had had a rigorous, academic homeschool education.

 

Fast forward about ten years. I live in upstate New York, and have an almost two-year-old. Suddenly he is teaching himself addition and reading, and everyone I know is preparing to send their two-year-olds to half day preschool in the fall. We have two options: a private nursery school and the public school preschool. Preschool is a very, very big thing here. I'm not a fan of pushing early formal academics(meaning: the two preschools aren't play preschools here, even at 2, and I think my little boy needs to play a lot still), and suddenly have to start doing some research and make some decisions far sooner than I had expected. For my husband(who is also a homeschool graduate) and I, homeschooling is the only route to take at this point.

 

So I start researching. And I am bewildered and confused at how the homeschool world appears to have changed in ten years. I looked at the LEAH conference, thinking maybe it would be something I could swing in and start looking through curriculum, and it appears there are only two or three academic seminars. The rest seem to be....I don't know...all about stressing Christian parenting. The teen track titles just seem bizarre. When God Writes Your Love Story? Sacred Femininity? Christianity and Culture? I know I can't base my judgement on seminar titles, but this is leading me to believe that LEAH does not support the academic and social goals we have for our children, which do not include courtship or strict gender roles.

 

I start doing some more reading, and find the homeschool world appears to have turned itself on its head in the last ten years, at least in my area. All of my homeschooled friends went to college. We studied science and Latin and mathematics and world history in depth in high school. We dated, just like anybody else. Nobody got married before finishing college. My teenage sister's homeschool acquaintances are getting married at 18 and 19 and don't believe in college for women. They aren't studying rigorous academics; they are "earning a PhD in homemaking." Their husbands are dating the dads in some weird ritual. I start calling around the homeschool "leaders" around me and don't find one that wants to answer my homeschool curriculum questions or social opportunities for a preschooler; they ask where I go to church(I don't. We work Sundays usually). The homeschool magazines I flip through have some good articles, but also seem to be pushing a very narrow, conservative agenda that does not treat women or families the way I believe.

 

Is this just my geographic area(I am in the Fingerlakes region of NY)? I know we have a great many radical unschoolers in Ithaca, which is thirty miles from me(I won't fit in well there, either), but I had no idea the religious overtones that had taken over elsewhere here. Is this the norm now, and I just have to learn to cope with it, or am I blowing a few seminar titles and articles and conversations way out of proportion?

 

In short, what happened to my homeschooling?

 

(I don't mean to offend anyone who shares these beliefs. I just don't remember them being as pervasive when I was in high school, and the one LEAH convention I went to at 13 seemed to focus on academic subjects. Or was it there and we were just so busy doing our own thing and didn't notice?)

[Mom22ns]

That's actually why I like SWB and this board. Here I find the biggest group of academic homeschoolers, religious or not, who seem to have similar goals for their children.

 

:iagree:

 

I am a somewhat conservative Christian, but was shocked the first time I went to a homeschool convention to find I am not a conservative enough Christian. It was quite an eye opener. That said, I enjoy these boards. SWB came to our conference year before last and I got to listen to her teach for hours and hours. I still go, but there is a limited amount that is useful and a great deal that is offensive.

 

I have to admit to the OP though, that if you had called even my secular homeschooling group, they wouldn't have helped someone with a 2 yr old. We call teaching a 2 yr old parenting. We won't help you with homeschooling until they are at least approaching 5. Everyone in the group is planning on their kids going to college and some are starting as young as 12. It is a group where pretty much everyone homeschools for academic reasons. There are still academic homeschoolers out here. Some are Christians some aren't.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have to admit to the OP though, that if you had called even my secular homeschooling group, they wouldn't have helped someone with a 2 yr old. We call teaching a 2 yr old parenting. We won't help you with homeschooling until they are at least approaching 5.

 

:iagree:

[sparkygirl]

In the area where I am there is a huge push for pre-school starting at age 2. In our area it is such a competition and a status symbol of where your child is going to pre-school that the mere concept of walking around with a child 2 years old or older and not being able to say where he/she goes to pre-school or that he/she is wearing their school shirt is emotionally draining.

 

In response to this yes, I have looked for a homeschool pre-school group and found none and no groups even willing to consider the idea. Am I looking for a co-op day long course, rigorous academics and curriculum? No. I'm looking for a few like minded parents who are also planning to homeschool their children who want to get together once a week for a Playgroup that includes a learning center (slow and steady, Montessori,etc) as part of the options and maybe a busy bag swap.

 

I want the chance for my child explore the world around her with another child and for me to learn together with other parents.

[Shelly in VA]

You might feel a bit better if you jump over to the High School boards for a while, even the College sub-board there, where you'll find all kinds of people discussing academic rigor, college entrance requirements, SAT and ACT scores, and the like. :) It can be hard to find like-minded parents irl, whether you are searching homeschool circles or public/private school groups. Geographically, the area we live in now is not particularly academically inclined, and our ps has a relatively low graduation rate. A few hours away, though, you'll find DC, which is about as academically competitive an area as there is in the nation, I would bet! Just trying to encourage you not to think this is an issue only for homeschoolers, and to tell you that academic rigor is out there, it's just sometimes hard to find. Like others have said, these boards are an incredible source of support for many!

[MedicMom]

In the area where I am there is a huge push for pre-school starting at age 2. In our area it is such a competition and a status symbol of where your child is going to pre-school that the mere concept of walking around with a child 2 years old or older and not being able to say where he/she goes to pre-school or that he/she is wearing their school shirt is emotionally draining.

 

In response to this yes, I have looked for a homeschool pre-school group and found none and no groups even willing to consider the idea. Am I looking for a co-op day long course, rigorous academics and curriculum? No. I'm looking for a few like minded parents who are also planning to homeschool their children who want to get together once a week for a Playgroup that includes a learning center (slow and steady, Montessori,etc) as part of the options and maybe a busy bag swap.

 

I want the chance for my child explore the world around her with another child and for me to learn together with other parents.

 

 

Yes, this is all I was looking for by trying to connect with other homeschoolers. My little boy is social and would love a playgroup or just some friends to play with(okay, and I'm a little lonely too), but everyone I know or have talked to in his age group is gearing up for preschool in the fall. I don't have a problem with preschool itself, but I work weekends and the parents aren't going to want to get together in the evenings after school(it is full day here for the most part). I thought maybe if I could connect with homeschool moms, they may be more likely to have or know someone with young kids who aren't in school or day care all day. (Just to clarify, it isn't that I have a problem with either, it's just easier for me to get together during the day)

 

Also...I'm heartened to know that there are rigorous, academically motivated homeschoolers out there. We aren't close to that yet(he's only 2!) but when I started looking, especially with this preschool push here, I was shocked and disturbed by a lot of what I was running across. I was wondering if I had missed some huge announcement somewhere along the line....

Edited April 20, 2012 by MedicMom
pregnancy brain

[chepyl]

From what I can tell, this Is the break down of classes at our convention in a few weeks:

 

Academics -25

Christianity and Family values -19

Academics vs Religion -2 (looks like "how they are compatible" type speech)

Balancing Family life and Home education -16

Other topics -6

 

One acafemic os specifically on achieving a classical education at home.

 

I would say it Is fairly balanced. It would be possible to go to only academic classes if ypu wanted and still have one every session.

 

Every homeschooler I know of from 20 years ago was doing it for religious reasons. We are Christians, bit Homeschool for academics but we include Bible in our education.

[NASDAQ]

I live in Vancouver, Canada. When my mum was home schooling us (I was b. 1983), the home schoolers in Vancouver were unschooling hippie types. Now I have a six-year-old. Vancouver home schoolers are unschooling hippie types. So some things may change, but Vancouver hasn't been one of those things.

[FO4UR]

I have no idea how HSing has changed, aside from rapid growth. I will lay out my advice though...stick to what your Mom taught you and don't get sucked into the vortex that is the HSing curricula/philosophy/bandwagon fad train. I think the sheer amount of curricula to sift through is as overwhelming as the "What kind of Christian uses this Curriculum/belongs to this group/reads these books?"

 

 

(The rest of us are trying to figure out what it is that your Mom did...so we can do the same...without getting sucked into the vortex...) This is why SWB is such a blessing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

In response to this yes, I have looked for a homeschool pre-school group and found none and no groups even willing to consider the idea. Am I looking for a co-op day long course, rigorous academics and curriculum? No. I'm looking for a few like minded parents who are also planning to homeschool their children who want to get together once a week for a Playgroup that includes a learning center (slow and steady, Montessori,etc) as part of the options and maybe a busy bag swap.

 

I want the chance for my child explore the world around her with another child and for me to learn together with other parents.

 

 

This is a great idea! You should start a group.;)

[SilverMoon]

.

Edited September 8, 2023 by SilverMoon

[JessReplanted]

When I hsed as a kid we knew one whole other family that hsed, and their kids were much younger than I was. Both that family and my grandparents were in it for the academics, but that family hunted for the best curricula for each subject, and my grandparents took the path of least resistance (Ace PACES). That's my total experience with the hs scene from my childhood.

 

I'm now in my third state to hs my own in. CO had a good mix of people keeping theirs home for strong religious reasons and crunchy hippie types. Unschoolers to hardcore Abeka types. Many, no, most, were on the Vision program, where the state will buy your curriculum for a whole lot of intrusiveness into your day. Our corner of NV mostly had people trying to escape the terrible public schools; academically they were content with matching what they thought the PS ought to be doing.

 

Now we're in AZ. Most of the hsers we know began as a way to escape the local public school situation and are trying to do a better job than the PS was. There are a couple/few who are in it for the religious reasons alone it seems, and they're generally content with a lower standard of academics. I get the feeling that latter family is more prevalent than we've found, due to how many assume that's how we homeschool. We have 6 kids, aren't "quiver-full," and our kids watch shows with - wait for it - magic. You know, like Smurfs. (I've since learned Spongebob and Avatar are evil kid shows, too.)

 

:lol: I'm laughing over this. We had someone leave our church this year b/c we allowed our son to dress up as Harry Potter for a Harvest Festival day. ;)

[MtnTeaching]

I think the homeschool convention organizers have slowly lost their collective minds over the years. :glare:

 

When I started going to the CHEC (CO) homeschool conference back in 1993, they were inclusive...welcoming everyone, no matter what their faith. Granted, there wasn't much in the way of curriculum sellers back then, but they were all there. And they represented the spectrum of beliefs from BJU to Calvert. Then, in about 1997, Calvert was "uninvited", because they weren't "Christian" enough. Things went downhill from there, to the point where more than half the vendors have NOTHING whatsoever to do with homeschooling. Even SL is no longer welcome at that convention, and it's in their own backyard. :001_huh:

 

Needless to say, I don't even bother to attend anymore.

 

Yes!! I was a very naive person stepping into the homeschool arena in CO. Several years ago, I started going to the CHEC conference and felt that within a couple of years, you are correct - the conference leaders lost their minds. When Sonlight was banned, I just about lost mine.

 

I am currently in Cincinnati at the convention that SWB is at. I scraped the money together and flew all the way out here last year hoping for educational-based sessions and curriculum. Between last year and this year, I can tell a difference. They are heading in the same direction as CHEC. Between the kerfluffle last year, the treatment of Julie Bogart (Brave Writer), and the general lack of educational focus, I do not blame SWB. In fact, I will most likely not be back either. It is not worth it.

 

I am a Christian, was raised in the church, attend my church faithfully, and have been a part of the same small couples group for 11 years. But, I am sick and tired of being told how my homeschool is supposed to look. I am sick and tired of being made to feel as if I am not "Christian" enough if I choose to use a secular science, watch "The Hunger Games", have only two children, or expect that a majority of the sessions at a homeschool convention will actually be related to education.

 

You know what my biggest fear is? That this is going to drive a wedge between homeschoolers. Many, many people sacrificed and fought for us to have the ability to homeschool our children. This ability can very easily be taken from us if we are divided.

[lillybell]

I am in Texas and in my area, it is very similar to what you describe. I am an agnostic and when I have conversations with the moms, I sway away from religion since the co-op we are in is Christian. They allow other faiths to join but we must abide the rules of their co-op. I mostly just signed up for the social aspects, certainly not for the academics. This is my department and I believe in rigourous academics. I have 3 girls and I have always advocated an education and self sufficiency. I am in hopes that they will first finish college before starting families. At the co-op, we find a different picture. It is just as you described. Many of the moms which I have conversed with are just waiting for their girls to get old enough so they can take on their roles as wives. They are not big on educating the girls. I even had one mom tell me that her daughter is not very smart and that she won't be going to college. She said she was content with that. This is completely the opposite of what I want for my kids. I have been homeschooling for 10 years and have only attended one conference. I did not like what I saw and pretty much never attended another conference. I find that the internet is my best friend in curriculum searching. I find curriculum for each subject that best suits our needs and learning styles. Then I either purchase it online, or I attend local homeschool book sales. Hopefully, you won't get swayed away from homeschooling. It is a lot of fun and wonderful to see what your kids are learning.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I have found it hard to fit in to the homeschooling crowd in my area, too. Everyone I meet is either conservative Christian or hardcore unschooler. I've met one woman with a 9 yr. old daughter who seems to approach homeschooling in a similar manner to me.

[mom2scouts]

I am a conservative Christian, but I homeschool for academic reasons and I have high standards. In my area we have both Christian and inclusive groups and all of the homeschoolers that I personally know have high academic standards. The homeschoolers in my area are very, very diverse and I'm not seeing what you are describing. I think the conferences are not providing the type of seminars that many homeschooling families really want.

[catz]

This is definitely not my experience. We have a secular homeschooling conference in my area annually and most of the homeschoolers I know are very academic in their approach. I live in an urban area. So there are definitely academic and secular homeschoolers and resources out in the world.

[Kissy]

I am in the south and I have seen similar issues in our area. However, I was able to find a great group to join in my area that does have people who share my beliefs and academic rigor. We are Christian but not very conservative so for it is hard to find a balance. I have yet to attend a conference.

[happymomofboys]

No, it's not just your area. I'm in the Hoosier heartland, oldest dd is a sophmore in computer engineering at Rose-Hulman (extremely rigorous to say the least), youngest dd is is heading to college this fall planning to study neuroscience/genetics at Purdue. Youngest dd commented the other day that most of her friends aren't academically oriented and are heading to college to get a degree but are just hanging out until married. I quite going to the state conferences because of exactly what you've seen. Don't pay attention to what others are doing. Set the goals for your family and enjoy the ride!

 

:iagree: with the bolded. I live in the North Country of NY. I don't know any other homeschoolers here and have never been to a LEAH conference. I lurk on the NYHEN yahoo group for support with the paperwork and to keep abreast of what's going on in other districts, but the rest of my support comes from boards like this one. I'm Christian, but we don't attend church and we don't homeschool for religious reasons. I learned early on that there are as many ways to homeschool as there are homeschool families. I keep what works for me and my family and ignore the rest.

[Wheres Toto]

PLENTY of academic, secular homeschoolers (Even if they do practice their faith, not everyone homeschools for it.) in my area. I've never had trouble finding inclusive homeschooling groups. I'm in the Wash-Balt area. There ARE religious groups around, but the whole uber-conservative courtship-types aren't so easy to find here. The girls around here ARE going to college and I've yet to see one of the teens get married.

:iagree: The majority of homeschoolers around me are secular or at least the groups are fully inclusive. There is a definite mix of academics though - everything from unschoolers to strict rigorous schoolers. I'm sure part of that comes from hanging mostly with a younger crowd (at least the kids are;)) and being in a state that requires no reporting at all.

 

Just in the past month I've seen notices for a co-op starting that requires a pretty narrowly defined statement of faith (definitely excludes Catholics, Orthodox and most liberal congregations). I've been curious to know how many members they are going to get in an area where the number one religion is Catholic and number two is Jewish.

 

I understand what you are saying about everyone sticking their kids in pre-school. Our opportunities for park days and social opportunities dried up when the kids were 2 1/2 to 3 years old. I was a member of our local mom's club, in charge of organizing playgroups and in age based playgroups for both my kids. They completely died out when the kids hit 3 years old because nobody was interested anymore since their kids were in school 3 or 4 days a week. I was lucky that we were welcomed into homeschool groups when my son was just 4 years old.