saraha Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 So I am in a frustrated place with my dh, and I was having a ridiculous conversation with him in my head where I just laid it all out there etc. And that got me to thinking. I made the mistake of venting about my husband one time years ago to a good friend, and she hasn't really looked at him the same since, so now all of my venting is done in my head. Do you vent to someone else? Maybe not about your dh, but about homeschooling etc? I don't vent about homeschooling either, I just play out these crazy day dreams about hauling them all of to school. :blush: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Most is done in my head or on a forum like this where I have some "imaginary friends". I don't vent to friends or family for the reason you stated. It's never helpful because I want usually want an ear and they want to offer advice, or it can actually be harmful, like your experience with your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindyD Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 I have a friend that I feel free to vent to about most situations. I really try not to vent about dh because it's not helpful and like you said, it changes the way she'd see him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommee & Baba Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 My best friend; my sister. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 My mothers (my parents divorced, dad remarried when I was young and she is my mother too). They know us well and aren't afraid to tell me like I need to hear it sometimes. They will always listen and give advice as needed. I am glad to have them both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Butter Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Mostly in my head, but I do have a wonderful best friend who I can say anything to. I just wish she didn't live 2,000 miles away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsBear Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Things in general - to one of my friends; about DH, no one really because once he and I are good again, whomever I might have considered venting to would still have whatever in their head, ya know? So I don't vent about DH to anyone, I just figure it out myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 I vent to my best friend of 20 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertDweller Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 I have a very close friend that I occasionally vent to. However, even my worse venting is still very limited. I just find it best to keep some things to myself and not go overboard with details. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 To my best friend, but she always takes his side (she's usually right). :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 It's all in my head baby. I see it as very unhealthy, actually, but it is what it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2abcd Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 I vent to dh... I thinnk most couples vent to each other first and foremost. Of course, I can't vent to him about him! (Though sometimes I guess I do;o) I don't complain about dh to anyone, except to God! (Which usually also forces me to see my weaknesses and ends up with repentance and pleas for help so that's all good:o) If dh has heard too much or is too busy, I have one great friend and one sister/great friend who get most of it. Depending on the topic, etc., other friends like to listen and commiserate, too. Actually, a lot depends on who is dumping on me at the time. I reciprocate! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Life in general? Usually DH, very occasionally my mother. Rarely anyone else. About DH? To nobody. Maybe the occasional random light eyeroll about him to my mother, but a real vent? Nobody. I'm very careful about what I say to anyone else regarding my husband. (Children, too, actually, but particularly my husband.) And via internet? Absolutely not. I think he is the same way, for the record, and I appreciate that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Mostly in my head. Sometimes my sister. Depending on the vent I may vent to a friend. I don't like to vent about him to others because it can color the relationship dh has with the person I vented too. Never, under any circumstances to my mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Roughcollie. Poor woman. She can't get out of it. The benefit is that she's never met me or my dh so she can't look at either of us funny! Let's all vent to Roughcollie!:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 I have a great friend out of state, that I've only met once IRL. But we've become so close through texting, email, and the occasional phone call. It's quite helpful to have someone you're close to, but who doesn't know the people in your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 It depends what I'm venting about. I don't vent about DH to anyone. Ever. That said, I can't think of a time when I've thought I needed to... but if I did, I wouldn't. I'd just vent to him about him. :D :lol: About homeschooling, there are a select few - maybe DH, and I have a good friend who homeschools also. Other general stuff, friends and DH. And my grandma. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I vent to my journal. My imaginary one. Truly, I compose journal entries in my mind and picture myself writing out the words. I don't actually write them because I don't trust that my journal won't be read if someone stumbles across it. This board is nice for venting sometimes, too. But even so I know there are certain people who follow me around in cyberspace so I practice some restraint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 My pal at work, but I have to admit he vents more to me, being a rather emotional man. He happens to be a psychiatrist, but that isn't why I picked him. I picked him because we make each other laugh at our foibles. His life is much more complicated than mine.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker25 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 So I am in a frustrated place with my dh, and I was having a ridiculous conversation with him in my head where I just laid it all out there etc. And that got me to thinking. I made the mistake of venting about my husband one time years ago to a good friend, and she hasn't really looked at him the same since, so now all of my venting is done in my head. Do you vent to someone else? Maybe not about your dh, but about homeschooling etc? I don't vent about homeschooling either, I just play out these crazy day dreams about hauling them all of to school. :blush: The shower wall. :) I do, I talk to everyone who has ever ticked me off in the shower. I also form arguments for things I think might come up in the future. It's very therapeutic. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker25 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I vent to dh... I thinnk most couples vent to each other first and foremost. Of course, I can't vent to him about him! (Though sometimes I guess I do;o) I don't complain about dh to anyone, except to God! (Which usually also forces me to see my weaknesses and ends up with repentance and pleas for help so that's all good:o) If dh has heard too much or is too busy, I have one great friend and one sister/great friend who get most of it. Depending on the topic, etc., other friends like to listen and commiserate, too. Actually, a lot depends on who is dumping on me at the time. I reciprocate! LOL YES! I forgot about this. It has saved us a lot of dumb fights because God usually shows me that I am just as wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 Mostly in my head, but I do have a wonderful best friend who I can say anything to. I just wish she didn't live 2,000 miles away. :iagree: (although I'm very lucky that mine only lives 30 minutes away--when she lived overseas, it was so hard :grouphug:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I have a great friend who is skilled in listening and not making judgments based on that. Sometimes she is able to help me see what my husband may be thinking or feeling in a situation. Sometimes she agrees with me. But she still thinks highly of both of us. In fact, my husband will even suggest I call her sometimes. She is the person I call when I'm in a bad place and need help getting myself out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I vent to my brother. He's my best friend. That's probably strange. Eh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 It depends on what I am upset about. If it is one of his little quirks getting me irritated I vent to my dear friend whose DH shares so many of my DH's personality traits it is scary. If it is a little tiff I vent to my mom, (who always takes his side b/c he is the son she never had :tongue_smilie: ) or his mom, (who tells me that he has been stubborn from the word jump :D ). If it is a big fight I vent to my best friend from college, who is also DH's good friend and is like a female version of him. She can usually help me understand his side in a way that he can't. If it is a major blow out I clean and mutter until he and I have worked it out. I never share anything about DH that I feel might cast him in a bad light. And I never vent to the family at large or anyone other than the four people mentioned above. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I vent to the voices in my head. It's very therapeutic. I've been burned by venting to people IRL. During a desparate call for parenting advice, my mother basically rehashed my awful attitude during childhood. Not helpful. I used to vent to a friend until I received a late night phone vent on some really personal stuff. A bit scary. A few years ago, my best friend and I talked daily. Every few weeks, we would go off on a tirade. She always gave good advice, and I found I gave good advice back. Our kids got older and we both got busy with life so we grew apart. I still miss her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 It depends on what I am upset about. If it is one of his little quirks getting me irritated I vent to my dear friend I should have said that this sort of thing is the only thing that I do vent about out loud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 My SIL or the dog. The dog is great at hearing me and looking at me when I talk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BatmansWife Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 Me, myself, and I. And...I've been doing a lot of it over the last handful of years. Sometimes it's in my head.....sometimes it's outloud to myself. It's happened more than once when a kid will say...."who are you talkin' to in there?" and it's just me in there. I would never.ever vent to my mother. I don't think she'd say it....but I can imagine her saying, "I told you so...." I guess I don't feel comfortable venting to anyone irl. I wouldn't want my dh venting about me with his buddies....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 OK :) Please don't quote me. My mother used to think my dh was a saint. She said he was perfect. THEN. She went to work as his receptionist. ;) So now I vent to my mother. And my sisters. :D PS My mother is no longer his receptionist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 My brother. He knows our good sides and bad sides, wouldn't want to live with either of us and still considers us both amongst his favourite people. :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I have a friend who is my Confidant and I am hers. She is so wonderful and I am so lucky! while I *hate* husband bashing and I almost never vent about dh to anyone, she is the one I will bring my frustrations to. i have never done that with her about dh before but I will be doing so this weekend. :glare: i love her input and she loves mine. It is beneficial and helpful to both of us when we share transparently. We both have helped each other out so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I have a great friend out of state, that I've only met once IRL. But we've become so close through texting, email, and the occasional phone call. It's quite helpful to have someone you're close to, but who doesn't know the people in your life. I have a friend like this! She is not my confidant but she is cherished! we met when we both worked for the same company, me in NH and her in GA. We emailed and spoke on the phone all through out the day at work. When she travelled up here for business she would take vacation days or stay through the weekend to be with my family. I have flown to see her twice, once for ten days! By myself! We have been friends for 24 years now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I vent to my brother. He's my best friend. That's probably strange. Eh. That is SO sweet!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I guess I don't feel comfortable venting to anyone irl. I wouldn't want my dh venting about me with his buddies....... When it comes to venting about dh, it is very, very rare. I can't even say it is venting but more of looking for input from someone who's opinion I value. My dh never shares anything about our relationship with anyone.he's just not like that. He really dosn't share personal details at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasharowan Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I usually make up long convoluted posts to the Hive in my head and then never post them. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 The shower. Since I lost my bff last fall, I really don't have any other adults with whom I share a connection deep enough to feel free to vent. Dh is not the type of person I can vent to (although he does his share of venting.) He'll do anything else for me:). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I'm lucky. I have a SIL (married to my dh's brother) who really "gets" it when I want to vent about dh......because her dh is the exact same! I'm really lucky to have her! And we see each other a lot because our dhs do a lot of guy stuff together and we hang out. Most other stuff I vent TO dh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mudboots Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 (edited) I vent to my mom (if I really need to vent and if talking to DH isn't enough). But I've been careful about this over the years. She likes DH - and she's learned that it doesn't help if she gets upset with him. Mom doesn't really give advice unless I beg for it. She just listens and keeps liking us both. :001_wub: (ETA: FWIW, DH knows I vent to her, and he still likes her quite a bit. ;) ) Edited April 18, 2012 by mudboots Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 My best friend, and here, depending on what it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I have several friends. In fact, I was venting today not about dh, but something else. Apparently I have been venting too much about the subject because she banned me from speaking about it ever again:tongue_smilie: In regards to dh, I usually vent to myself in my head. I am careful about talking about it with others, although on occasion I will. I just think since I live with him, it would be easy for me to get in a habit of talking about everything I thought was wrong all the time. This of course, wouldn't help me feel very positive about the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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