DS7 scratched up neighbor's brand new car

[gamedesignmom]

He was riding his scooter too close to the vehicle and left a long scratch. (He was specifically warned NOT to go near the car.):glare:

 

DH and I offered to pay for it. It looks like our homeowner's insurance is not going to cover it, so we will have to pay for it out of pocket.

 

Today the neighbor gave me the written estimate from the collision shop: $547. My question is: does this sound reasonable? Should we make sure they have gotten multiple estimates or bring someone out to do our own? We've never been in this situation, so any advice is appreciated.

 

Also, should we get DS to help pay for it? Obviously, earning the money to pay for all of it would take a prohibitively long time, but I want him to learn a valuable lesson about taking responsibility. Right now he has no remorse whatsoever. :(

 

Thanks in advance for your help,

Jen

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Body work done well is crazy expensive so that price does not seem out there.

 

Not sure about anything else.

[Danestress]

I know it feels very "ouch" to you. I'm so sorry. What a total bummer.

 

I would imagine that there are places where maybe it could be done a little cheaper, but I would be reluctant to ask my neighbor to spend any more time getting estimates. I know I would be annoyed if I were expected to spend the time to get several estimates to save someone else a little money. Plus, I would want them to go with a place they chose, even if it's not the cheapest (but not, obviously, if it's unreasonably expensive).

[HappyCrazyMama]

Body work done well is crazy expensive so that price does not seem out there.

 

Not sure about anything else.

:iagree:

[Parrothead]

That price sounds reasonable. But I'd ask the owner if he minded taking it to a second shop just to be sure.

 

No way a 7-year old can earn that kind of money. Making him pay for it will just cause more problems. How about instead he has to help out the neighbor for 30 minutes every Saturday for a month. He can do things like clean out trash cans, sweep sidewalks, pull weeds, etc. That way he learns that even though he isn't sorry for what happened he still has to make some sort of effort at restitution.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I know it feels very "ouch" to you. I'm so sorry. What a total bummer.

 

I would imagine that there are places where maybe it could be done a little cheaper, but I would be reluctant to ask my neighbor to spend any more time getting estimates. I know I would be annoyed if I were expected to spend the time to get several estimates to save someone else a little money. Plus, I would want them to go with a place they chose, even if it's not the cheapest (but not, obviously, if it's unreasonably expensive).

 

:iagree:

[QuirkyKapers]

:grouphug:Unfortunately, that sounds typical. What would you like to DS doing so he shows remorse? Just curious. Did he apologize face to face to neighbor?

[datgh]

Body work is expensive. I dinged our car and it was going to cost over a thousand dollars to fix it so the estimate sounds pretty good. :grouphug: to you. These are the events in life that are tough being a parent for.

[PrincessMommy]

Body work done well is crazy expensive so that price does not seem out there.

 

Not sure about anything else.

 

I agree. My daughter got into a minor fender-bender. Barely a scratch on the fender. But, it was a brand new car for the owner, so they wanted it fixed. $1600 later it was all purdy again. :glare:

[Annie G]

Car repairs are expensive, and if they choose the shop, they can't come back to whine to you if they're not happy with the job.

Your boy is 7? I'm guessing he's not gainfully employed- so it's probably not going to mean much to have him kick in some cash. But he could certainly do some extra chores for you.

[kitten18]

I know it feels very "ouch" to you. I'm so sorry. What a total bummer.

 

I would imagine that there are places where maybe it could be done a little cheaper, but I would be reluctant to ask my neighbor to spend any more time getting estimates. I know I would be annoyed if I were expected to spend the time to get several estimates to save someone else a little money. Plus, I would want them to go with a place they chose, even if it's not the cheapest (but not, obviously, if it's unreasonably expensive).

:iagree:

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Bassoonaroo]

Deja vu!

 

My then-12 yo ds did the exact same thing last year. He was scootering down our street, which is on a slight hill. Both DH and I told him to "take it easy" and "slow down." On about his 3rd pass down the hill, he decided (WHY?) to try to turn right in front of the neighbor's BRAND NEW SUV. Huge scratch. About $550.

 

Of course, at age 12 he could earn some money. The neighbors (whom we barely know but thankfully are nice folks) took the car in for three estimates and went with the lowest. We immediately paid it -- not that we had that kind of cash lying around. Oh well. We asked DH to pay $150 of it since the $550 seemed out of reach for a 12 year old.

 

I still cringe when I drive down the street and see their shiny car...

 

Sigh.

 

Kids do those sorts of things.

 

I think I'd ask a 6 year old to write an apology and do some sort of work to earn some money. He could work for you at home or the neighbor.

[dangermom]

Yeah, that sounds about right. Does the scratch extend over more than one panel of the car? Like, the door and the front end, or something?

 

I once scraped my uncle's brand new truck. I mean, it didn't even have 100 miles on it yet. It was $1400, but luckily the insurance covered most of it and I was only out $400. I was a penniless college student and gladly paid up. To this day I wince at the sight of an indigo Toyota Tacoma.

 

I guess you are stuck, but I wouldnt let my kid anywhere near that person's property bc clearly they like their stuff more than anything else.

I think if you mess up a brand-new car, you gotta pay for it. Big-girl panties and all.

Edited April 16, 2012 by dangermom

[MomatHWTK]

It costs a lot to get paint damage repaired. The body shop has to buff the area, repaint, cover the whole panel or panels to get it to match. Often part of an additional section has to be blend the paint color as even the same brand/color isn't going to be an exact match every time.

 

I think an appropriate punishment for us would be that DS lost his scooter for a long time. If you can't be responsible and follow the rules, you don't get to play with the toy. KWIM?

[Mimmy]

That stinks :(. The price sounds typical for my area .

[gamedesignmom]

Thanks for the responses. I just wanted to make sure we are doing our due diligence regarding the situation, but I agree that it would probably be better for our relations with the neighbor to just accept the estimate they got. After reading several responses it looks like it's pretty reasonable.

 

DS is grounded from playing out front for a week and must earn back our trust to regain the privilege of riding on any wheeled toys after that. We still need to take him to the neighbor to apologize. In fact, I don't think he's actually closely looked at the scratch (since he's been staying inside since the incident.) I think doing some work for the neighbors sounds appropriate, and I can have him offer as part of his apology. If the neighbor declines he can do some work for his dp's.

[scrappyhappymama]

It costs a lot to get paint damage repaired. The body shop has to buff the area, repaint, cover the whole panel or panels to get it to match. Often part of an additional section has to be blend the paint color as even the same brand/color isn't going to be an exact match every time.

 

I think an appropriate punishment for us would be that DS lost his scooter for a long time. If you can't be responsible and follow the rules, you don't get to play with the toy. KWIM?

 

 

I agree on both counts. I was in a minor fender bender a few months ago and the damage on my car seemed relatively minor to me and it cost the other folks insurance three times that amount to fix. While at the shop, I asked about how much it would cost out of pocket to fix a door ding and small dent on the side of my van that annoys me since my car is still relatively new to me. It would have been $500 or $600, so I decided to continue to be annoyed. :lol:

 

If this was my son, I would definitely be benching the scooter for a while, and he'd be spending several Saturday mornings doing extra chores or yard work to help "pay off" some of the expense to DH and I. Since he normally spends this time playing video games, he would absolutely recognize the opportunity cost of disregarding the rules.

[mamajag]

Thats outrageous. I would never ask someone to pay that for a scratch on a car.

 

 

I would not ask my kid to pay either, bc thats too much. He could never earn that or save it in any length of time.

 

I guess you are stuck, but I wouldnt let my kid anywhere near that person's property bc clearly they like their stuff more than anything else.

 

This is apparently a pretty big scratch on a brand new car. The paint colors alone these days are expensive. I'd probably ask for a second estimate, but ultimately I would pay because it's my responsibility to keep my child from damaging other people's property.

 

I would never, ever turn something like this on the victim of irresponsible behavior. It would be a horrible example to my children.

[Julie in CA]

I guess you are stuck, but I wouldnt let my kid anywhere near that person's property bc clearly they like their stuff more than anything else.

You're kidding, right? :confused:

 

It's a brand new car. :001_huh:

I'm thinking that if the neighbor paid the price for a brand new car, they should get to keep it looking like new for as long as possible, and the kid down the street shouldn't get to take that away and expect not to fix it. That does not mean the neighbor likes their stuff more than anything else. What a strange judgment to make.

[mykdsmomy]

The price doesn't seem unreasonable and I agree that it needs to be paid...however....(donning flame retardant suit) I think it would be unreasonable to expect a 7 year old to fully comprehend the price of this consequence.

 

He's 7...so first grade? It was an accident and while he should have obeyed and not been near the neighbor's car, (and a consequence, imo, should be given for his not listening to you) I wouldn't expect him to take responsibility for d amaging the neighbor's car.

 

I know my opinion will be in the minority here...

 

Maybe he shouldn't be allowed out front by himself anymore until he's a little older?

 

I hope I explained this ok.... :001_smile:

[ssavings]

Do they carry comp & collision coverage on their car? We had a little kid damage our car once (before DD5 was born). We talked to our insurance company, the kid's parents, and ended up filing a claim under our comp&collision coverage. The parents willingly paid the $250 deductible we had on our policy (saved them a ton), and in our state, our rates weren't effected. ?? Our insurance claim adjuster said it was perfectly fine to use our comprehensive coverage, because it's there for situations like this?

[HappyCrazyMama]

You're kidding, right? :confused:

 

It's a brand new car. :001_huh:

I'm thinking that if the neighbor paid the price for a brand new car, they should get to keep it looking like new for as long as possible, and the kid down the street shouldn't get to take that away and expect not to fix it. That does not mean the neighbor likes their stuff more than anything else. What a strange judgment to make.

:iagree: The OP said they *offered* to pay, which is the right thing to do IMO when you damage someone's property, brand new or not. I didn't see anything about the neighbor having a fit of any sort and demanding restitution.:confused:

[gamedesignmom]

 

Maybe he shouldn't be allowed out front by himself anymore until he's a little older?

 

I hope I explained this ok.... :001_smile:

 

Oh yeah. Definitely there's going to be an adult outside when he's out front for the foreseeable future.

 

I'm not going to beat him over the head for this incident, but I think he can learn something about responsibility even at his age. :001_smile:

[mom4him]

He was riding his scooter too close to the vehicle and left a long scratch. (He was specifically warned NOT to go near the car.):glare:

 

DH and I offered to pay for it. It looks like our homeowner's insurance is not going to cover it, so we will have to pay for it out of pocket.

 

Today the neighbor gave me the written estimate from the collision shop: $547. My question is: does this sound reasonable? Should we make sure they have gotten multiple estimates or bring someone out to do our own? We've never been in this situation, so any advice is appreciated.

 

Also, should we get DS to help pay for it? Obviously, earning the money to pay for all of it would take a prohibitively long time, but I want him to learn a valuable lesson about taking responsibility. Right now he has no remorse whatsoever. :(

 

Thanks in advance for your help,

Jen

I don't know about the cost but if it were my son and he had been specifically warned I would come up with something memorable for him to 'pay' for the damages. I would probably even talk to the neighbor and see if there were a couple of things he could do for them that would help with the expense. I would let the neighbor know that I didn't expect a discount on the cost but that I do want my child to learn the consequences of his actions.

 

In our house when something gets broken that isn't truly accidental ( did purposely ride near the vehicle) they get to scrub toilets, clean the rest of the bathroom, load the dishwasher, clean floors, shovel walks(snow time), just about anything that they are capable of doing goes on the list. I have it designated out as to how much they get paid for each chore and keep track.

 

My child is then grounded from playing with friends until the debt is paid.

 

I didn't use to do this but it got to where my ds didn't care about anything. He is pretty careful now even when he gets mad.

[LMA]

Keep in mind the owner is allowed to repair the car at the place of his choosing. Insurance companies all the time try to dissuade this. So he is not obligated to find other estimates. He may have just one place where he wants to get it fixed.

 

Fixing a scratch can either be difficult depending on the deepness of the scratch. I was scratched by another car in an area no more than one square foot (no dents), but to fix the paint and blend it in was a lot of labor. So the estimate he got is reasonable.

[creativish]

:grouphug:

What about having DS sell his scooter and give the proceeds to the neighbor?

[Starr]

Having a 7 year old ,you don't know well, help you can be more time consuming than it's worth. It's not their job to discipline your children. If you have jobs he can do for the neighbor you should supervise as well. Ds broke a neighbors window when he was 4. These things are difficult. :grouphug:

[Supertechmom]

 

I guess you are stuck, but I wouldnt let my kid anywhere near that person's property bc clearly they like their stuff more than anything else.

 

 

WOW. Not even sure how to respond to that. I think kids do need to know that when they are out in the world and damage stuff, someone is going to expect them to fix it.

[ThisIsTheDay]

He was riding his scooter too close to the vehicle and left a long scratch. (He was specifically warned NOT to go near the car.):glare:

 

DH and I offered to pay for it. It looks like our homeowner's insurance is not going to cover it, so we will have to pay for it out of pocket.

 

Today the neighbor gave me the written estimate from the collision shop: $547. My question is: does this sound reasonable? Should we make sure they have gotten multiple estimates or bring someone out to do our own? We've never been in this situation, so any advice is appreciated.

 

Also, should we get DS to help pay for it? Obviously, earning the money to pay for all of it would take a prohibitively long time, but I want him to learn a valuable lesson about taking responsibility. Right now he has no remorse whatsoever. :(

 

Thanks in advance for your help,

Jen

 

I think $547 is completely reasonable, in fact, it's about half of what I would have expected. since it's a brand new car, I'd assume he's going to the dealer in an attempt to get the most perfect match.

 

As for your ds's lack of remorse, would he maybe understand it better if you explained in terms of something special he owns? Would you neighbor be agreeable to having your ds doing some free work for him (in addition, of course, to your paying the entire amount)? I know, there's not much a 7yo can do, but perhaps he can help garden, rake, plant, or ? Could your ds help you bake cookies for the neighbors, or are you friendly enough with them that they could come for lunch, with your ds planning the menu, helping fix food, and apologizing? Or write an apology note?

 

If I were your neighbor, I'd be upset. If I were you, I'd be upset. I'm sorry for both of you. :grouphug:

[Wabi Sabi]

As horrible as it would be, I would cough up the cash.

 

That being said, have you asked about their insurance? I think it's safe to assume that they have full coverage since it's a brand-new vehicle. They should go through their insurance and you should pay their deductible, IMO, not the full cost of the repair (unless they have a $500 or greater deductible in which case it's not worth it for this particular instance.)

[TranquilMind]

Thats outrageous. I would never ask someone to pay that for a scratch on a car.

 

 

I would not ask my kid to pay either, bc thats too much. He could never earn that or save it in any length of time.

 

I guess you are stuck, but I wouldnt let my kid anywhere near that person's property bc clearly they like their stuff more than anything else.

You must not have had body work done anytime recently.

 

I got hit from the side going 5 miles an hour on ice and it smashed my front end up. It was 10,000 in damage, much of it body work. They totaled the car. And that was over a year ago.

 

While looking at used vehicles to purchase, I met one couple whose van had a single scratch down the side, much like described by the OP. They chose not to fix it and were selling as is, because the estimate was ...$1000!

[TranquilMind]

This is apparently a pretty big scratch on a brand new car. The paint colors alone these days are expensive. I'd probably ask for a second estimate, but ultimately I would pay because it's my responsibility to keep my child from damaging other people's property.

 

I would never, ever turn something like this on the victim of irresponsible behavior. It would be a horrible example to my children.

Agree with this. Blame the victim is not appropriate here and not a principle you want to establish with your children.

[TammyinTN]

Completely reasonable. While living in Germany the gate guards accidentally raised a barrier as my husband and son were driving over it. It was more than 10,000 to fix the damage. Body work is very expensive if done well and if it were your new car you would probably want it done well.

 

As for the child...hard manual work for not obeying Mom. He would work off his time with sweat equity. ;)

[Bear23]

we are having simliar work done on our van back home and the price is around that price. Sadly it's not cheap.

[Shellydon]

I would take away the scooter for 4 weeks. When it was returned, he would not be allowed to ride out front with out adult supervision, which means his riding time would be very limited.

[redsquirrel]

I think with a 7 year old I would more focus on the not listening part. Accidents do happen (says the women who backed into the neighbor's car) and we do fix them if possible. But, he is so young, I think it the 'not listening' part makes more sense in his world.

 

I mean, to a 7 year old a scratch is just a scratch. Not a big deal. He doesn't understand the value of what he scratched or what it will take to fix it. It happened because he didn't follow your instructions. So, address that part.

[clarkacademy]

He was riding his scooter too close to the vehicle and left a long scratch. (He was specifically warned NOT to go near the car.):glare:

 

DH and I offered to pay for it. It looks like our homeowner's insurance is not going to cover it, so we will have to pay for it out of pocket.

 

Today the neighbor gave me the written estimate from the collision shop: $547. My question is: does this sound reasonable? Should we make sure they have gotten multiple estimates or bring someone out to do our own? We've never been in this situation, so any advice is appreciated.

 

Also, should we get DS to help pay for it? Obviously, earning the money to pay for all of it would take a prohibitively long time, but I want him to learn a valuable lesson about taking responsibility. Right now he has no remorse whatsoever. :(

 

Thanks in advance for your help,

Jen

 

 

In my opinion the scooter would be gone. Sold or trashed or given away. He was told no and caused major damage. That price sounds about right. Yes he would have to work it off. Your lucky your neighbors are being so nice to be truthful I wouldn't have been.

[Princess Peach]

In my opinion the scooter would be gone. Sold or trashed or given away. He was told no and caused major damage. That price sounds about right. Yes he would have to work it off. Your lucky your neighbors are being so nice to be truthful I wouldn't have been.

 

You wouldn't have been nice to a young boy whose parents have offered to pay the cost of fixing your vehicle?

[clarkacademy]

Thats outrageous. I would never ask someone to pay that for a scratch on a car.

 

 

I would not ask my kid to pay either, bc thats too much. He could never earn that or save it in any length of time.

 

I guess you are stuck, but I wouldnt let my kid anywhere near that person's property bc clearly they like their stuff more than anything else.

 

 

They went to work for that car. They don't deserve to have it trashed up by some kid who was on their property to boot. I don't think it is about liking their stuff. They worked for that brand new car they shouldn't have to deal with it being messed up. Most people in this position will call the police to make an insurance claim, the family is lucky they didn't do this.

[clarkacademy]

You wouldn't have been nice to a young boy whose parents have offered to pay the cost of fixing your vehicle?

 

 

I would still have involved the police in case the family later said sorry can't pay it. Then I would have had proof about what happened. I wouldn't have been rude or anything but no I sure wouldn't have been happy either.

[Halftime Hope]

As horrible as it would be, I would cough up the cash.

 

That being said, have you asked about their insurance? I think it's safe to assume that they have full coverage since it's a brand-new vehicle. They should go through their insurance and you should pay their deductible, IMO, not the full cost of the repair (unless they have a $500 or greater deductible in which case it's not worth it for this particular instance.)

 

I would never ask anyone to ask their insurance to pay it if it were my fault. That puts an "incident" on their insurance's list that goes against them. Not only that, it unfairly makes their insurance pay part of the cost for the repair. I think that is unethical.

 

If the OP asked her insurance, car or homeowner's, that would make sense. I'm not sure her car insurance would cover, since it wasn't her vehicle that did the damage. This would properly fall under her homeowner's insurance, but there may be some reason why they wouldn't cover it, and her deductible may be higher than $500 anyway.

 

my two cents' worth...

[tntgoodwin]

Double post.

[mumto2]

Written apology by your son is a must. I would put him to work for you earning maybe $5 per week-- your neighbor isn't going to want to deal with him. My son scrubs sinks and showers to pay off debts. I want to add he is 12 now and hasn't " had " to scrub for about a year. He likes it and does it to help now. Make him pay 10 % of the bill. Math lesson. Yes, it will take a long time. He is old enough to learn to follow rules and since he was told to stay away he needs memorable consequences. He damaged someone else's property. Maybe have him sign a loan agreement with you. I know this sounds harsh. Make the agreement, assign the weekly jobs, then move on. Let him be responsible. Make sure to celebrate when he pays off his debt!

[tntgoodwin]

As horrible as it would be, I would cough up the cash.

 

That being said, have you asked about their insurance? I think it's safe to assume that they have full coverage since it's a brand-new vehicle. They should go through their insurance and you should pay their deductible, IMO, not the full cost of the repair (unless they have a $500 or greater deductible in which case it's not worth it for this particular instance.)

 

:iagree: and good on you for offering to pay for it, btw. You are demonstrating responsibility and integrity for your ds.

[EKS]

That amount seems very reasonable. Frankly, I was very surprised that it was under $1000. I would be surprised if additional estimates would come up with anything significantly cheaper.

 

And, yes, I would have your son work off some amount of the cost.

[Mommy22alyns]

Yes, sorry, the right thing to do is pay for it. The scooter would disappear. A written apology would be required. And I agree with him volunteering some time with the neighbor doing small chores. If they decline, then he'd be doing everything he was capable of doing at home.

[mamaraby]

You said your homeowners won't pay for it, but did you check with your auto insurance (assuming they're not with the same company)? If you're riding a bike and you get hit by a car, then your medical payments/PIP coverage typically covers your medical bills (same thing if you are injured while a pedestrian). It's possible that your property damage (PD) coverage on your own auto insurance policy might kick in.

 

Regardless, even if your neighbor goes through their auto insurance policy (which is what I would have done in addition to getting a police report if I had been your neighbor), their insurance company's subrogation department would be contacting you to pay for the damages.

 

As for the charges, auto repair is expensive. I was amazed at how much it cost when we had to have our front bumper replaced/fender repaired when we were in an accident a few years ago.

 

And yes, I would be finding a way for my son to understand the true impact of his choices including learning to be more responsible when riding.

[Wabi Sabi]

I would never ask anyone to ask their insurance to pay it if it were my fault. That puts an "incident" on their insurance's list that goes against them. Not only that, it unfairly makes their insurance pay part of the cost for the repair. I think that is unethical.

 

If the OP asked her insurance, car or homeowner's, that would make sense. I'm not sure her car insurance would cover, since it wasn't her vehicle that did the damage. This would properly fall under her homeowner's insurance, but there may be some reason why they wouldn't cover it, and her deductible may be higher than $500 anyway.

 

my two cents' worth...

 

It's unethical for insurance to partially pay for a repair? Really? That's what insurance is for, IMO! <shrug>

[Kathryn]

:grouphug:

What about having DS sell his scooter and give the proceeds to the neighbor?

 

In my opinion the scooter would be gone. Sold or trashed or given away. He was told no and caused major damage. That price sounds about right. Yes he would have to work it off.

 

good on you for offering to pay for it, btw. You are demonstrating responsibility and integrity for your ds.

 

Yes, sorry, the right thing to do is pay for it. The scooter would disappear. A written apology would be required. And I agree with him volunteering some time with the neighbor doing small chores. If they decline, then he'd be doing everything he was capable of doing at home.

 

:iagree:

[Wabi Sabi]

Oh, and I agree that I would NOT ask my 7 y/o to help them with small chores. In all honesty, having a 7 y/o over to "help" out sounds like a total pain in the you-know-where. Although it was a well-meaning suggestion, in the end it really only more of a nuisance for the family who is already inconvenienced by needing to take in their brand-new car for estimates, go without it for it for a day or two while it's being repaired, etc. Now they have the added task of finding appropriate chores for the neighbor kid to do for them? No thanks!