So what do you *really* think of parents who keep their kids with them in church?

[Bess]

If you let you kids go to sunday school but see other parents who don't, what do you really think about them? Does it bother you? Do you think it creates division? Do you think it's cool that they are so independent? What do you think?

[Crissy]

It honestly never occurred to me to think *anything* about it.

We stop and chat with friends by the classroom doors as they're signing their littles into Sunday school and we're making our way, as a family, to the sanctuary, and I have never given the difference a second thought.

[Prairie~Phlox]

Well, we keep our children in church, so I think we're pretty cool! Our entire church is like this and I prefer a "family" church where it's emphasized that families stay together. It's always been this way for us, we do have a quiet room, we just teach our children to sit and be quiet, we have no distractions. Parenting in the Pew is a great book.

[Nestof3]

Well, since we house church and all children are kept in the meeting area -- I really think it's a great idea.

[Pink Fairy]

Wow--it never occurred to me that someone might notice that I choose to take my kids to church. I'm Roman Catholic (which might make a difference?) but I never let my kids go to "Children's Church" or the nursery when it was offered. For us, Mass is a family activity.

 

This seems like an odd question, but it's possible I'm missing something...:blink: (It wouldn't be the first time!)

[Mrs Mungo]

I don't think anything of it with most people. However, I've come across a few people who seem to think their children are too good to associate with the other children. That attitude bothers me a little.

[Bess]

Wow--it never occurred to me that someone might notice that I choose to take my kids to church. I'm Roman Catholic (which might make a difference?) but I never let my kids go to "Children's Church" or the nursery when it was offered. For us, Mass is a family activity.

 

This seems like an odd question, but it's possible I'm missing something...:blink: (It wouldn't be the first time!)

 

Sorry, I didn't mean to be ambiguous. In protestant churches, there is a "movement" adrift which advocates parents keeping their children sitting with them during the main service instead of having them participate in sunday school or children's church. My husband is definitely into keeping our children with us, but we are the only ones who do this at our church. I'm afraid that others thing we are 1.divisive, 2.too sheltering, 3.fearful, 4.snobs.

 

So, I wanted to know if my perception of what people might be thinking is true or not.

[Susan in KY]

I prefer to keep them with us. I think the corporate worship is good for everyone, and it gets skipped in kid's church.

 

Susan

[charlotteb]

We have always sent our kids to kids' church. IMO- it gives them their lesson in a more kid friendly and easy to understand format. Plus, they have made many friends there. But... it doesn't bother me a bit if another family choses to keep their kids with them. Its their choice :)

[GSMP]

Sorry, I didn't mean to be ambiguous. In protestant churches, there is a "movement" adrift which advocates parents keeping their children sitting with them during the main service instead of having them participate in sunday school or children's church. My husband is definitely into keeping our children with us, but we are the only ones who do this at our church. I'm afraid that others thing we are 1.divisive, 2.too sheltering, 3.fearful, 4.snobs.

 

So, I wanted to know if my perception of what people might be thinking is true or not.

 

Wow...I can't believe people would actually think that of you. I know it is more of a traditional thing with Baptists at least that the kids would attend a sunday school or children's church. The church we attend now is so large that they do have a children's church ministry but there is no rule that says your children have to be in there. Our kids do go to sunday school but come out and sit with us during the big church service.

 

The only time I have felt it could be an issue is if you have parents who cannot seem to make their children mind in church. I'm sure you've seen the ones who allow their kids to crawl under the pews during the service. That is the only time I guess I would get a little annoyed.

 

Kudos to you......if you feel that is right for your family then continue to do it.....You are the one raising your children.....:001_smile:

[LynnG in Arizona]

Sorry, I didn't mean to be ambiguous. In protestant churches, there is a "movement" adrift which advocates parents keeping their children sitting with them during the main service instead of having them participate in sunday school or children's church. My husband is definitely into keeping our children with us, but we are the only ones who do this at our church. I'm afraid that others thing we are 1.divisive, 2.too sheltering, 3.fearful, 4.snobs.

 

So, I wanted to know if my perception of what people might be thinking is true or not.

 

I don't automatically think that families who do this are fearful or snobs. If anything, I'm likely to think, "Good for you!" I usually don't attempt this until my kids are a bit older, around 3 or 4.

 

But I have run into families who are snobby and self-righteous about their decision to keep their kids with them. They won't do anything whatsoever, not even for a short activity, if it means they're separated as a family. When taken to an extreme (and especially when coupled with a very self-righteous attitude), it can be a bit much.

[Holly IN]

I am one of these parents. We keep our kids with us during church. Our main reasoning on this is we believe our children should be in worship service with their parents as their parents are to be the examples for them not the teachers. We do have them go to Sunday school but not children's Church.

 

 

 

Holly

[Reya]

I don't care one way or the other unless the kids are poorly behaved--which doesn't happen in our current church. I've seen some in some places keep the kids out and then have the kids do coloring books or the like, which mystifies me, but really, unless they're disrupting someone, it's between the kids and their parents.

[Bess]

Okay. It seems based on these answers that I'm totally overthinking other people's perceptions of us!! I tend to do that a lot, especially regarding anything we do differently than others. I have to say I feel relieved. And yes, our kids are very well behaved in church, and I do actually think they listen, as we talk about the sermon afterwards, etc.

 

Thanks guys!

[Tracey in TX]

We attend Mass with our children. They should learn fundamentals of religion at home, supplemented at Sunday School. IMO Sunday School should not interfere with our time in church as a family. It's a bonding time, a learning time, and a time to feel the love of God. Certainly He would want the children's innocence in His House.

 

We did the nursery until the babies were about 2y/o, because 5 wiggly kiddos in diapers was not conducive to gaining anything from the service (except an enormous amount of stress).

 

There is also a trend amongst Roman Catholics to drop kids off in care to attend Mass, but it's highly frowned upon.

[momofkhm]

But I am in charge of Sunday School at our church. :001_smile:

 

Some families where I know that it helps the parents to have the kids in SS, I ask to see if there is someway we can help. But a few families just don't go. I have talked to them and they have the mistaken idea that their child is the oldest in the class, by a lot. This one family, their dd is only the oldest by 2 months!

 

I don't think they are any worse or better than the rest. In fact I've started asking new families to the church if they want their children to come to SS.

[abbeyej]

I'm always surprised that there are churches that schedule Sunday School and the service in conflict with each other. I expect children to be sitting with their parents during the service / mass (unless they are very small, perhaps), and to attend SS before or after.

[Chris in VA]

For me, our church has a great solution--the little kids (up until 3rd grade) have their own Children's Church, where they hear the Word on their own level, sometimes thru a story, sometimes thru another means. They also say some of the liturgy, pray for each other, and do what the adults do during the first part of the service, but on their level. Then, after the sermon and prayers in the adult church, the kids come in and sit with their parents. We then worship corporately, having Eucharist every Sunday. This part of our service is very visual, and the kids participate, going up to the altar rail and either receiving the host and wine or receiving a blessing, depending on the family preference (they can take communion as soon as they are baptized, but some families prefer their children to wait a while--we don't wait with ours).

 

Anyway, if a family chooses to bring their kids in for the whole service, I sometimes encourage them to check out the kids' stuff--as I think it is important for them to actually understand what's going on in church, and my husband doesn't preach on a 2nd grade and below level. But, if that's their preference, I certainly don't judge them. People have their own reasons, and who am I to say they are wrong? One can learn a heck of a lot thru osmosis and example, too! I just feel for those whose kids are obviously bored, and for those moms who feel embarrassed when their littles can't handle 30 mins of sitting still and being quiet (I'm big on training/teaching that skill, tho' and know it can be done).

[Kelli in TN]

I am happy to send my children to our children's classes. I am comfortable with what our children's ministry has to offer and I am frankly happy to be in grown up church, free to learn and not be concerned that someone is squirreling out next to me.

 

But if someone esle takes their kids to the sanctuary, why should I think anything about them one way or another? I assume they don't care what I do and I feel the same about their choices.

[Ellie]

Sorry, I didn't mean to be ambiguous. In protestant churches, there is a "movement" adrift which advocates parents keeping their children sitting with them during the main service instead of having them participate in sunday school or children's church. My husband is definitely into keeping our children with us, but we are the only ones who do this at our church. I'm afraid that others thing we are 1.divisive, 2.too sheltering, 3.fearful, 4.snobs.

 

So, I wanted to know if my perception of what people might be thinking is true or not.

 

Well, first, if you and your dh want to keep your dc in church with you, and you truly are *not* divisive, too sheltering, fearful, or snobs, you don't need to worry about it :-)

 

Second, I think age-appropriate Sunday school classes are good things. And after Sunday school, then I think all dc should come and sit with their parents. I think children whose parents send them so they're there alone should be welcomed to sit with other families. Furthermore, I don't think kids in the youth group should sit together; they should also sit with their families, and if they bring friends, the friends should sit with the families, too.

[Brindee]

 

I am one of these parents. We keep our kids with us during church. Our main reasoning on this is we believe our children should be in worship service with their parents as their parents are to be the examples for them not the teachers. We do have them go to Sunday school but not children's Church.

This is what we do. Our church is VERY family oriented, and most people do this.

[4kids4me]

I'm afraid that others thing we are 1.divisive, 2.too sheltering, 3.fearful, 4.snobs.

 

So, I wanted to know if my perception of what people might be thinking is true or not.

 

The decision is between you/dh and the Lord, so who really cares what other people think? It's kinda like worrying that because you decided to have four children, people that chose only two will possibly think that you think you're better than them, kwim?

 

 

Here are a few other thoughts:

 

1. If you're worried about being divisive, talk to the pastor and explain your reasoning. Once he understands, if you ever have a problem with another accusing you, you can have them talk to the pastor about it.

 

2. Sheltering is a word many people define differently. Your idea of sheltering your child could be completely different than another's. You are responsible for your children...other people will not be answering directly to the Lord about how you chose to raise your children, you will.

 

3. I'm not sure what you mean about fearful...like other's thinking you fear your children socializing with other kids? We allow our children to go to SS before church, but not to junior church during the service...so really, no one can accuse us of being fearful of our children being with other kids.

 

4. If other people choose to get to know your family, then most likely they'll come to the conclusion you're a warm, friendly family (unless you ARE snobs!!!). If other's want to judge you based on what they see, that's their problem.

 

So there...no worries. If you and dh have prayed about it and this is the direction the Lord is asking you to take, you need not worry about the repercussions of what other people may think. Having said that, if you don't do what the Lord asks because off all your above-stated worries, now THAT'S something to be concerned about! :)

[cstitches]

I would've gone crazy if my parents had kept me with them during service. The few times I did sit with them, I was very bored. I just wasn't mature enough to be engaged by the speaker or to sit still that long. On the other hand, I learned a lot from Sunday School, so that was the beneficial route for me. (I did sit with my parents for worship/song service though, which I always enjoyed because my mom sings with the worship team).

 

But, that's just my experience. If your kids can sit through service alright and get something from it, that's great. I just know it would've have worked for me, and I'm glad my parents let my choose for myself.

 

I imagine it might've been different if my parents had made a proactive effort to teach me about faith at home, but besides modeling, there was little of it.

[Brenda in FL]

we are the only ones who do this at our church. I'm afraid that others thing we are 1.divisive, 2.too sheltering, 3.fearful, 4.snobs.

 

So, I wanted to know if my perception of what people might be thinking is true or not.

 

Well, at our church we have children's church for K-2nd grade that takes place during the sermon. The children are with us for the first half. I have always chosen to let our children go to Children's Church (younger than K stayed in the nursery.)

 

However there were a few prominent families who chose to keep there children in the service and not use the nursery or children's church. It started with one family - So you may be the start of a trend!!

 

Personally how I feel about it - it made me think about the choices and reevaluate what was appropriate for our family. At times - yeah - internally, I felt a little defensive. I would worry about what they thought about me since I did allow my kids to go to Children's Church. (Kinda your situation in reverse!)

 

But I never thought of those families as "1.divisive, 2.too sheltering, 3.fearful, 4.snobs"

 

You are likely to have conversations with others at church about your decision and I would just caution you to choose your words wisely to avoid sounding judgemental.

[Brindee]

 

I would've gone crazy if my parents had kept me with them during service. The few times I did sit with them, I was very bored. I just wasn't mature enough to be engaged by the speaker or to sit still that long. On the other hand, I learned a lot from Sunday School, so that was the beneficial route for me. (I did sit with my parents for worship/song service though, which I always enjoyed because my mom sings with the worship team).

But ours DO get both--first church then the class for children.

[Rhonda in TX]

If you let you kids go to sunday school but see other parents who don't, what do you really think about them? Does it bother you? Do you think it creates division? Do you think it's cool that they are so independent? What do you think?

 

We have Sunday School and worship service at separate times, so most people do both. There is a nursery (up through age 2) and children's church during the sermon (ages 3 - K), but nobody looks down on you if you don't send your children.

[Tess in the Burbs]

We put our children in SS and we attend a contemporary service. There are tons of children in our service. Some are disturbing the entire time but most I never notice b/c they are well behaved. I would love our kids to be with us in service but they truly enjoy the SS at church and I want church to be something they enjoy attending.

 

So no, the people with kids in service don't usually bother me. I do wish the real young ones who don't know how to whisper or ever stop moving would be put in the nursery. :glare:

[6packofun]

The people at our church who keep their children with them usually have kids who are older than toddler or preschoolers. I don't care if anyone wants to bring babies, toddlers, etc. into the service as long as I can hear the speaking and/or music. I understand the whole lesson to be learned for those who go this route, but I don't want it done on my time in service if it's going to make me miss what the pastor is saying. The lesson then becomes that the rest of God's family is less important than learning to sit quietly, which is sad. There are hundreds of other opportunities for that lesson.

 

Btw, there was only one child I can think of in 5 years at our church who was loud and he was a gentle autistic boy who didn't keep the rest of us from enjoying the service even though he spoke out occasionally.

[Erica in PA]

If you let you kids go to sunday school but see other parents who don't, what do you really think about them? Does it bother you? Do you think it creates division? Do you think it's cool that they are so independent? What do you think?

 

My internal reaction to this depends on a lot of factors. The parent's attitudes, the behavior of the kids, what options are available to parents at the church, what sorts of adult classes parents bring their children to, etc. But even when I might disagree with the practice myself, due to the particulars of that specific situation, it is just my internal reaction. I don't feel any right to say anything about it. Ultimately parents have to decide for themselves what is right for their kids, and if you believe that you are doing what is right for your family, who is anyone else to tell you differently? So if I were you, I wouldn't worry much what other people might think.

 

There was a thread back aways about parents who repeatedly spank to keep their infants/toddlers quiet in church... I said there that I don't agree with that, and it makes me sick to my stomach when I see that done in my church, which happens pretty frequently. Inside, I do feel like, "Why don't you just take that poor child to the nursery?!" My personal opinion is that the benefits that might be gained by having a baby/toddler in the service are not enough to warrant weekly spankings to achieve them. But again, that's just own opinion, and not something that anyone else needs to consider, really. I might not think that certain ways of parenting are best, but we are all different, and have different ideas of the best way to handle things.

 

Erica

[ereks mom]

Well, since we house church and all children are kept in the meeting area -- I really think it's a great idea.

 

Our group is usually very small -- less than 20 people -- and we are very informal anyway.

[LynnG in Arizona]

We did the nursery until the babies were about 2y/o, because 5 wiggly kiddos in diapers was not conducive to gaining anything from the service (except an enormous amount of stress).

 

 

This is what I was trying to say earlier. I'm not philosophically opposed to kids staying with their families, but as a practical matter, I felt that keeping wiggly toddlers with me is completely counterproductive to my worship, as well as the worship of those around me. Something was wrong if I was spending literally 100% of my own focus on hushing/corralling the kids, kwim?

 

But serious kudos to those kids and parents who manage to make it work! :)

 

And for the record, I am fine with minor disruptions - but my kids, at least, all have gone through a massively disruptive stage around 15-24 months or so.

[Julie in WA]

It really doesn't bother me if kids are in church as long as I can hear the pastor and the kids aren't totally distracting. Can you imagine a child sitting in front of you that has turned around and starting making faces or doing silly things...that's distracting. :biggrinjester:

[Harriet Vane]

I do keep my kids with me during church, although the church has ended up going that way philosophically. To be more specific:

 

At our former church, I usually kept dd with me the whole time (a 3-hour service!) because the children's ministry was quite dysfunctional. If there was someone I could trust running a class, I gladly left dd. If not, or if the class was way too crowded, I quietly kept dd to myself. Like you, I was terribly worried about what people think. Fortunately for me, several people, including one of the pastors, without knowing my opinion of the dysfunctional children's ministry, did reassure me that folks don't think about where the kids are unless a child is acting up.

 

When we started attending our current church, we did send both kids to Sunday School before the service. However, I was not happy about sending them to Children's Church for the entire service as well. I had read Parenting in the Pew and loved the ideas presented therein. However, my kids really wanted to go to Children's Church. Our compromise was to keep them with us until time for the sermon, and then send them to CC.

 

Over the years, the church has changed their policy so that now CC is only offered during sermon time. My ds happily goes. Dd, however, felt that she had outgrown CC and wanted to stay in the sermon. This coincided with our hiring a new senior pastor, who has a very energetic sermon style. Dd actually enjoys hearing his teaching, so we are happy with her transition.

 

I think my former pastor was right, no matter what the setting. People don't really notice where the kids are one way or the other unless they are misbehaving badly. If your children are well-behaved in the service, I doubt anyone will judge you.

 

The only other thing I HAVE noticed and been bothered by is a couple families in my church who allow their teens to read during the sermon. I find this so blatantly disrespectful and unnecessary. I do understand that there is a process to training a child to participate, but reading removes that child from any participation. Also, I think teens are old enough to pay attention. However even then, at the end of the day, this is NOT my child, none of my business--those parents have the right to work this out on their own.

 

I do allow my own dd to knit or do some sewing--she is 11yo, and doing something with her hands really helps her listen more attentively.

[Karenciavo]

I think parents should do as they are led. I don't put my children anywhere during worship and I would not attend a church that forced me to. Of course, my darlings are perfectly behaved angels. :D

[swellmomma]

I send my oldest 3 to their sunday school classes, mainly because it is more fun for them plus it gives me a very much needed break to focus on the Lord. Today the older 2 had mini olympics at discovery zone(grades 1-5 go to discovery zone), they also wrapped father's day gifts, had a visit from "bible man" with bible trivia etc, They would have been bored stiff watching testimonials from our missions team in Zimbabwea, my 4 yr old went to giggle zone, and watched a veggie tales movie, had story time, made a fathers day craft and had a snack. I keep baby with me because I am not comfortable leaving a little one in the nursery, plus she always needs to eat halfway through the service so I end up watching the 2nd half on teh tv in the mother's room.

 

Most families in my chrhc send their kids to the children's classes, and the junior highs and highschoolers have their own section in the sanctuary, and most keep their infants that are not yet crawling with them. I don't care what other families chose to do as long as I get my time with the Lord without my kids. It's the only way I can go on with another week, is to get that time away from them, church is a safe way to do so.

[Amy loves Bud]

I wonder to myself it they are homeschoolers and then forget about it. :D

 

My kids are with us sometimes and in Sunday school sometimes, depending on the mood of various people in our family, and most of our friends are the same way.

[Quiver0f10]

We keep our children in church and it's not because we feel we are better than others, but we prefer our family with us as we attend. I feel commanded to teach my children at home and I want to be there at church so we can discuss, as a family, what is being taught.

[lynn]

It's really a non issue with me. I fully understand wiggle worms only bite when children are expected to be still:001_huh: It really doesn't bother me.

[GVD22]

We have always sent our kids to kids' church. IMO- it gives them their lesson in a more kid friendly and easy to understand format. Plus, they have made many friends there. But... it doesn't bother me a bit if another family choses to keep their kids with them. Its their choice :)

 

 

I agree.:)

[Dayle in Guatemala]

I don't think anything of it unless the kids are creating a disturbance and the parents do nothing to stop it. Then I get a little frustrated.

[summer]

I really do not think it creates a division. I am big on family values. This means, Mom and Dad decide what is right. If they want the children in Sunday school, fine. If they want the children in church next to them, fine. Short of a child jumping up and down and being massively disruptive in church (which I have never seen, knock on wood), I have no problem with it being one way or the other.

[Joanne]

We've always worshipped together. With my xh and with my current, the children have always worshipped with us. The kids worship with their Dad and stepmom, too.

 

That said, I have seen extremes on both sides of this that........concern me.

 

1) Those who make an icon of "worshipping as a family". We *do* worship as a family, so I'm for it. But I've seen families who hold to that so tightly that it rises to an importance that is not *why we worship*.

 

2) Those who believe that parents need to be "fed" without kids around and/or that kids need to learn at kids levels - those who believe this for everyone - not just their own families. It *may* be true of some adults and some kids. It's not an across the board fact. These people/churches often age segregate most things with the expectation that everyone else should as well.

[Plaid Dad]

At my church there is no child care and no cry room; families worship together. Religious education for adults and children is scheduled between the two Sunday morning services. People understand that small children squirm and make noise. If it's extreme, they move out of the pew to the back, and if the child is really losing it, they go out into the vestibule for a time. No big deal. A church without children is a church without a future.

 

My wife's church has child care for kids 5 and under. It's very much optional; the pastor leans toward family worship but understands that some parents need help. Our dd has had a very hard time with worship at that church because the music is so loud. (She has recently been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder.) We did have her in child care when she was 4 and 5. She now wears earplugs during the music portion of the service, and we allow her to draw or use sewing cards during the sermon. We've found that she actually absorbs more when her hands are occupied; her mother is the same way. On one occasion the pastor did call us on a Saturday night to let us know that the sermon topic might not be appropriate for our dd's age, and she was welcome to help with the babies that day. She was glad to do so.

 

So I tend to have a positive view of families who worship together because that's the norm in my church, but I don't automatically think badly of parents who choose to use child care, since we've benefited from it ourselves.

[Remudamom]

Ours have always stayed with us. I've noticed in a couple of churches we've attended that the kids that go to children's church then find other reasons to not stay in church............like "helping" in the nursery, and then eventually they just sort of disappear into the ozone, or stop coming when they're on their own.

[Sahamamama]

My husband and I both feel strongly about doing this at this time, for many reasons. First, we have serious concerns about our church's childcare set-up. On several ocassions, I have been in the narthex (lobby) and have seen unsupervised toddlers (18 months-3 years old) wandering around, with no one from the nursery aware of the "escapee." It is unnerving to see this, and I know that the mothers of these children never realize what is going on!

 

The facilities themselves do not have any safety measures in place, and our church is on a busy highway. There is no screening of child workers in the church, because "everybody knows everybody." But I don't know these people, and I will not leave my children with them.

 

Once I stopped by my 6 year old niece's classroom, and she was in there alone with only her (male) teacher, with the door closed. It was just plain weird to me. I don't know this person, I thought, and I would not leave my daughter (3.5 years) in that situation.

 

What if my 3.5 year old has to go to the bathroom? She is potty trained completely, except for dealing with a BM. So, who is going to wipe her little butt? I think that for now we will keep the children with us.

 

It IS becoming awkward, though! The pastor's wife keeps telling me all about the "wonderful children's program, the nursery staff are great, we have snacks and play-time downstairs in the basement, etc. etc. etc." It's awkward only because everyone else puts their children into the "program," and we don't -- so we stick out. I'm not sure what to do, really. Any suggestions?

[Jenny in Atl]

Well, when I was going to church... Sunday school was held in between services, with both adult ed. and children's ed offered at the same time. This was the Episcopal Church, so I don't know how different it is from others in the area. I know when my daughters go with their grandparent to their church (Mt. Paran Church of God) they stay with them for the service.

[Sahamamama]

Ours have always stayed with us. I've noticed in a couple of churches we've attended that the kids that go to children's church then find other reasons to not stay in church............like "helping" in the nursery, and then eventually they just sort of disappear into the ozone, or stop coming when they're on their own.

 

I agree, we've noticed this too, which is part of the reason we want to keep the children in the service. And, for many years, I used to be a Sunday School and Children's Church teacher!

 

My husband says it like this: Our girls are learning to become Christian adults when they are with us, seeing how and whom we worship, learning the way things are done or not done, realizing that worship is sacred and meaningful, and that they are NOT too young to be a part of it.

 

But in the "Children's Program" at our church, the 3-5 year olds simply run around playing with toys all over the place, run up and down the hallway, eat cookies, drink colored-flavored-sugar-water, do a "craft" = color a ditto, and go home. For them, week after week, that's "church."

 

As far as the Bible stories go, we read through The Children's Illustrated Bible (3-4x/week), while for theology on a child's level we read through Leading Little Ones to God. We listen all day long to Wee Sing and Cedarmont Kids praise and worship songs. We memorize Bible books, Bible verses, and Bible passages. We pray daily, read the Bible (NIV) daily, and learn about world missions regularly. We discuss giving, serving, and loving others, and we do these things within our little circle of influence as much as possible at this point. So, I think our girls will understand the "content" of our faith, and I'm not sure that the way our church does children's ministry is the best "context" -- I think that Children's Church should at least be SAFE! (see my previous post for the details on lack of safety).

 

Our oldest daughter already has a heart to really worship Jesus, and our little twins are paying close attention to the people and words and actions around them. How will children know what it means to be a part of a Christian community of worshippers, if they are never brought in to it?

[Jugglin'5]

We don't have children's church or nursery. We have been in churches where they did and we still kept the kids with us. We have always tried not to be seen as militant or judgmental about it, because we weren't, but in many ways it is just like homeschooling. Some people may choose to take the very fact of your doing it as a critique of their own choices. You can't really help that. Just try to stay low key about it. We have personally found the rewards of having our kids in the service with us to be very great.

[Remudamom]

 

It IS becoming awkward, though! The pastor's wife keeps telling me all about the "wonderful children's program, the nursery staff are great, we have snacks and play-time downstairs in the basement, etc. etc. etc." It's awkward only because everyone else puts their children into the "program," and we don't -- so we stick out. I'm not sure what to do, really. Any suggestions?

 

The next time she hints about children's church you look her right in the eye and tell her "We plan on keeping our children with us in the pews, to worship as they grow." And then raise your eyebrows up high and say, "Does this church have a problem with that??"

 

Depending on her answer you know whether or not you should start looking for a new church.

[Colleen]

I dislike it when churches schedule Sunday School simultaneously with worship and am thankful our chapel doesn't do so. We have two services, with SS taking place between the two. A nursery is available during the worship service for those who prefer not to have small children with them during the duration. I've typically had my boys stay with us during the service up until the point of the sermon, at which time they go to the nursery. This is up until age 4 or so. After that, they just stay in the worship service. Our congregation is small, but we all tend to do things differently and there's no condemnation of preferences on the subject.