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Do you or does anyone you know think breastfeeding is abhorrent?


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I'm asking about thoughts/perceptions of breastfeeding itself as a means of giving a baby food and nutrition, NOT the aspects of discreetness or not.

 

A friend is all thrilled because Sesame Street is supposedly going to "teach" breastfeeding--how I don't know--and a friend responded that it's a great idea so that the idea of breastfeeding in our society won't be so abhorrent.

 

I tried breastfeeding and it didn't work out, BUT I think it's the best, first option all mothers should try. Considering that over 70% of new mothers at least TRY breastfeeding, I can't imagine that our society thinks breastfeeding in general is detestable! And what about the moms who wish they could, but cannot? They are PRO-breastfeeding and for whatever reason just don't DO it. We were just talking here on the forums about how 1 in 3 women are on anti-depressants! For years moms have been told to be wary of nursing while on medication. Even now, when it's said to be "safe" it's with the caveat that baby IS getting trace amounts of the drug. So it's a difficult choice even being pro-breastfeeding, IMO.

 

So this question is aside from the issue of discreetness because THAT is what I think is at the heart of why some say that society isn't accepting of breastfeeding. What do you think?

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My siblings were born between 1957-71. As far as I know, non of us were breastfed. My mom isn't anti-bf, but she never encouraged it either.

 

My grandmother was a paid wet-nurse, so I know my mother grew up with the idea that it was common place.

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I don't think "abhorrent" is the word I would use, but I definitely know people who think it's "gross" or "icky" or who have been discriminated against because they breastfeed. So, I think when you ask people, it's not like they think breastfeeding is so wrong, yet they still feel free to discriminate against people breastfeeding, discourage women from breastfeeding, make things difficult for women who are breastfeeding, and generally judge them as yucky. So, yeah, I think introducing it on a children's program as simply normal and important would probably be a positive thing to change those attitudes.

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I breastfed my son until 2 1/2. Okay, well, I still nurse him at night sometimes. He had medical problems and, really, he is just too cute for his own good and generally gets what he wants :glare:.

 

With that said, I think breastfeeding is "icky". I can't stand doing it. I never could. I did it because his health made it more necessary than ever. He needed me, regardless of my personal feelings about it. I'm not one of those happy breastfeeders that you will ever hear claiming breastfeeding is the best way to bond (as I was told, lol). It wasn't... for me. I'm sure it is for some, or most; but not for me.

 

I have no intention of breastfeeding Soon-To-Be unless his/her health also necessitates it. I am a more patient Mom when I think of NOT nursing another.

 

I know it isn't a popular opinion - but it's mine nonetheless :001_smile:

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My mother did until she saw the benefits when I breastfed my girls.

 

Almost all of my friends breastfed so obviously they think it's great.

 

One of my aunts babysat Anna a couple of times when she was a baby. One day when I picked Anna up, my aunt told me she just couldn't stand that "breastmilk stuff" anymore. Well, okay, then. That was the last time she ever babysat for me. So bizarre.

 

Most members of my family don't think breastfeeding in and of itself is gross, but most of them think breastfeeding past a few months of age is. You can guess what they think of me knowing I breastfed my girls well past a year and the last one two years. Between that and homeschooling...well, I'm the weirdo of the family. Fine by me. :D

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Not abhorrent exactly, but my dad is extremely uncomfortable about the whole thing. My mom did not breastfeed any of us and my dad will leave the room whenever possible......but when he's sitting with us at a restraunt, he's kindof stuck! :tongue_smilie:I try to be accommadating and not do it around him, but hey- I gotta feed when the baby wants some food!

 

Interestingly, it's not nearly as weird to nurse in front of my FIL and BILs. It's not about not being discreet- I have one of those blanket things that have a strap that hooks around your neck. It's just that he is SO uncomfortable, it makes me uncomfortable (and probably everyone in the vicinity)

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I know people that didn't breastfeed, because they thought it was gross, but are still supportive of other people breastfeeding. Ime with them it's a matter of not good for me, but good for you anyway.

 

I don't know anyone that believes it's something that shouldn't ever be done, iow I don't know anyone that abhorrs it. Just people that don't want to be a part of it (men and women).

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They actively discourage women from breastfeeding or their reactions/opinions imply it? (Some might say there's no difference.)

 

I, personally, did not enjoy breastfeeding at ALL. Didn't like it. But I never lead a conversation with that fact! LOL I rarely even mention it because I'm PRO-breastfeeding and tell my dds that they should always give that their best try first.

Edited by 6packofun
typo
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I don't think "abhorrent" is the word I would use, but I definitely know people who think it's "gross" or "icky" or who have been discriminated against because they breastfeed. So, I think when you ask people, it's not like they think breastfeeding is so wrong, yet they still feel free to discriminate against people breastfeeding, discourage women from breastfeeding, make things difficult for women who are breastfeeding, and generally judge them as yucky. So, yeah, I think introducing it on a children's program as simply normal and important would probably be a positive thing to change those attitudes.

Do you really think that parents who feel breastfeeding is that disgusting, would allow their child to watch a program like that?

Honest question. I don't personally have a problem with it, but I'm not sure how it would change attitudes when I'm pretty certain the target audience would never get to view it (target audience being those with a negative view of BFing).

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I don't think I know anybody who really thinks its abhorrent. It does make some men uncomfortable especially those in my parents generation, but breastfeeding wasn't common when they were raising children. Often when I hear people complain about breastfeeding it has more to do with the mothers discreetness or age of child.

A lot of people who think breastfeeding an infant is wonderful take a whole different view when it's a 2 year old. Even I kind of think that by 2 when a childs primary source of nutrition is no longer breastmilk it could be saved for more private times and places.

 

I will say that after reading another thread in a different forum that there is still a great deal of ignorance concerning breastfeeding and a woman's right to breastfeed out there.

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My step-daughter (a teen at the time) thought it was icky when I was BF-ing her half siblings. She made a very short lived, half-hearted attempt to BF her first and did not even try with her second child, more because of her own attitude about BF than anything else, IMHO.

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I don't think "abhorrent" is the word I would use, but I definitely know people who think it's "gross" or "icky" or who have been discriminated against because they breastfeed. So, I think when you ask people, it's not like they think breastfeeding is so wrong, yet they still feel free to discriminate against people breastfeeding, discourage women from breastfeeding, make things difficult for women who are breastfeeding, and generally judge them as yucky. So, yeah, I think introducing it on a children's program as simply normal and important would probably be a positive thing to change those attitudes.

:iagree:

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I'm not sure how they're going to go about "teaching" breastfeeding. Whenever something becomes part of a curriculum or standard, I'm wary. BUT, how often do we see babies being bottle-fed on Sesame Street? There's a lot going on and I imagine that showing a mom holding her nursing infant naturally and discreetly is what they're going for rather than telling children outright that babies should nurse, kwim?

 

Now, having a segment on it specifically might be a different story... LOL

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I don't know if "abhorrent" is the right word for this attitude, but there's a member of the MOMS Club in my old town who chose not to breastfeed because her bOOks are for her husband. I think he was against it as well. Didn't want to lose his playthings. :glare:

 

That's an attitude that could use changing, IMO.

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Many teen moms won't breastfeed because they think it is "gross" or "weird".

 

They simply haven't had exposure to breastfeeding as a normal part of raising/feeding an infant. Instead, they've only been exposed to cultural ideas that breasts are only s*xual. No wonder it seems weird and gross.

 

I do see the pendulum swinging. My own mother was actively discouraged from breastfeeding, and when she insisted she wanted to try an impatient nurse told her "Well, if you must, go ahead and try." With no instruction or encouragement, she wasn't able to do it. My sister and I saw bottle-feeding only. Fast forward to my own children, I was actively educated and encouraged to breastfeed, so my children saw that as they grew up. It seems normal to them, and they know that breasts are for feeding babies. If kids who aren't being raised around infants, or who are being raised in front the tv, begin to see it as normal maybe it will seem less and less weird to the population as a whole. :)

 

Cat

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My sister's MIL and by association her husband thought it was a disgusting idea. My sister stood her ground and her husband came on board and became an advocate. No idea what her MIL thinks at this point, nor do I care.

 

Where I live, [discreet] breastfeeding is a fact of life and DS' MIL is the only person I know of who has expressed a negative reaction. She's kind of a witch anyway, so . . . .

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[/b]

Do you really think that parents who feel breastfeeding is that disgusting, would allow their child to watch a program like that?

Honest question. I don't personally have a problem with it, but I'm not sure how it would change attitudes when I'm pretty certain the target audience would never get to view it (target audience being those with a negative view of BFing).

I'm not sure I've ever heard of anyone THAT anti-breast feeding (that they would moniter possible pro-breast feeding messages that might get to their children).

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[/b]

Do you really think that parents who feel breastfeeding is that disgusting, would allow their child to watch a program like that?

Honest question. I don't personally have a problem with it, but I'm not sure how it would change attitudes when I'm pretty certain the target audience would never get to view it (target audience being those with a negative view of BFing).

 

I don't think most people think that deeply about what their children see on TV. They just make rules like "only PBS and Nick Jr." or whatever and leave it at that. I doubt most people watch it with their kids in the first place. And I doubt it's going to be some huge noticeable thing. It'll probably be less than half a dozen quick moments where a character is breastfeeding very discreetly or mentions breastfeeding offhandedly or a kid asks about breastfeeding or mentions that his baby brother gets "mommy milk" or something.

 

I know that some conservatives don't allow their kids to watch Sesame Street because of a perceived political agenda, but I don't think people who are anti-breastfeeding are especially organized enough to notice this sort of thing and ban their kids from watching Sesame Street because of it.

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My IL's think it is disgusting. My MIL constantly told me how her ped said that formula was better than breastmilk. :glare: She had lots of advice from her ped that I ignored. I countered with my ped's current advice. I nursed all 4 of mine for a combined total of over 5 years. :tongue_smilie:

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My daughter bf's my grandson and my dil has bf her two little ones... I bf all of mine. When I did, I never met anyone who thought it was "icky" and I received a lot of public smiles and even ladies who came up to me and thanked me for nursing! This was near Tampa, FL and in southern Georgia and then in Alaska. But, here in CA my dd and dil have not really known peers to make the choice to bf. They have talked to friends and spoke of the benefits, but, nope... none of their peers do, outside of their church group. I let my girls know how proud I am of them to make this choice.

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And those women did not breastfeed? Or they thought it was icky but still did it because they knew it was a good choice regardless of their feelings?

 

They did not breastfeed. They knew the choice was superior and would have considered pumping *if* someone provided them with a free breastpump. But, they wouldn't even try to get past the perceived ickiness factor.

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Most members of my family don't think breastfeeding in and of itself is gross, but most of them think breastfeeding past a few months of age is. You can guess what they think of me knowing I breastfed my girls well past a year and the last one two years. Between that and homeschooling...well, I'm the weirdo of the family. Fine by me. :D

hahaha, me too, exactly.

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I have a cousin who does. She was pregnant at about the same time I was with my first and we ended up in a situation (of her doing) where she had a very hungry baby and no formula because she had somehow decided that wasn't her responsibility (the baby's bag with everything in it had been placed in her mother's car after the baptism, and her mother had to go pick up a cake on the opposite side of town - Cousin's only responsibility, in her own mind, was transporting the baby to the restaurant). Her boyfriend ended up furious ("What do you mean you don't have any bottles? NOTHING??!") and ran to the drug store for formula and a bottle while COUSIN sat there with a "Baby will just have to wait - none of this is my fault" attitude.

 

I mentioned that this problem wouldn't happen if she'd just nurse him and she looked at me HORRIFIED. She said, "He tried that in the hospital and I pushed him away. That's disgusting."

 

Of course, that girl also asked me if it was okay to engage in 5Ex while pregnant. She was concerned the baby would be able to see Boyfriend's equipment. :001_huh:

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I don't know if "abhorrent" is the right word for this attitude, but there's a member of the MOMS Club in my old town who chose not to breastfeed because her bOOks are for her husband. I think he was against it as well. Didn't want to lose his playthings. :glare:

 

That's an attitude that could use changing, IMO.

Why? Formula may not be the best under the best circumstances, but why force someone to do something they don't want to do when the alternative is perfectly viable?

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I'm not sure I've ever heard of anyone THAT anti-breast feeding (that they would moniter possible pro-breast feeding messages that might get to their children).

I know many who believe it should be done discreetly - so I'm not sure how well showing it on a children's show would blow over.

Obviously, if a parent thinks it is "disgusting" in general, they likely wouldn't allow their child to watch a show depicting it. No?

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There are still a heckuva lot of people who equate breastfeeding with urination, as a necessary but disgusting thing.

 

:iagree:

 

I know someone who didn't breastfeed because it was "icky" (she shuddered while describing her feelings) to do something "sexual" with a baby.

 

I have known really intelligent and compassionate men who think breastmilk is gross and avoid their partners breasts during lactation, which surely serves to cut the baby off early.

 

We've come a long way, but there's more road ahead.

Edited by dragons in the flower bed
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I don't think most people think that deeply about what their children see on TV. They just make rules like "only PBS and Nick Jr." or whatever and leave it at that. I doubt most people watch it with their kids in the first place. And I doubt it's going to be some huge noticeable thing. It'll probably be less than half a dozen quick moments where a character is breastfeeding very discreetly or mentions breastfeeding offhandedly or a kid asks about breastfeeding or mentions that his baby brother gets "mommy milk" or something.

 

I know that some conservatives don't allow their kids to watch Sesame Street because of a perceived political agenda, but I don't think people who are anti-breastfeeding are especially organized enough to notice this sort of thing and ban their kids from watching Sesame Street because of it.

I guess we live in different worlds. Most parents I know do indeed care deeply about what their children encounter on the television.

I find it slightly disturbing that anyone would suggest it's a good idea to discreetly "slip in" a social agenda on a children's show; no matter how "good a cause".

 

With that said, we are conservative and we love Sesame Street. We grew up on it ourselves :D.

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I know many who believe it should be done discreetly - so I'm not sure how well showing it on a children's show would blow over.

Obviously, if a parent thinks it is "disgusting" in general, they likely wouldn't allow their child to watch a show depicting it. No?

I'm guessing it's not an entire episode of a woman bfing, at most she may answer questions, but I seriously doubt it'll go over two minutes. As far as discreet, I think nips are still outlawed on public television, so it will have to be discreet. What are the odds that a. they're going to see it, b. they'll know what episode before hand to censore it, c. they'll care enough to do anything about it?

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Most members of my family don't think breastfeeding in and of itself is gross, but most of them think breastfeeding past a few months of age is. You can guess what they think of me knowing I breastfed my girls well past a year and the last one two years. Between that and homeschooling...well, I'm the weirdo of the family. Fine by me. :D

 

LOL - that would be my family and ILs too. I weaned my oldest by 18 months because I felt so pressured to do so. I nursed my youngest past 3 though. Yep - definitely the weirdo in the family here too. Most our nieces and nephews spent hours and hours in daycare as young infants.

 

My mom said when she had kids (early 70's), it was really radical to breastfeed.

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My MIL thought it was gross and would not do it with her boys. She wasn't thrilled about the idea when she heard I was going to. Well, she came around when SIL and I both nursed our kids and she was presented with information (she's an RN, so...).

 

My step-grandfather was grossed out by it and would leave a room muttering.

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In all honesty, I have no patience for people who think breastfeeding is gross. It's ridiculous. My in-laws find breastfeeding to be sexual abuse at worst and horrifying at best. :001_huh:

 

I'm a big fan of keeping breastfeeding a positive and normal occurance. I grew up around women who breastfed openly all of the time, so it was normal to me. I remember my first exposures to bottles and being very put off by the smell and fuss. I had to use them with my first two after 9 and 2 months (respectively) for medical reasons and I can not even imagine why someone would prefer that. But maybe it's partly because I'm lazy!!! I do not allow bottles in my house. I had some for after my surgery a few months ago or so for an emergency and I throw away pretend baby bottles.

Edited by mommymilkies
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I'm guessing it's not an entire episode of a woman bfing, at most she may answer questions, but I seriously doubt it'll go over two minutes. As far as discreet, I think nips are still outlawed on public television, so it will have to be discreet. What are the odds that a. they're going to see it, b. they'll know what episode before hand to censore it, c. they'll care enough to do anything about it?

I thought someone mentioned it being a "how to" episode? That would be an issue I would think.

Lol.

With that said; I still find it disturbing that some find it okay to slip in a social agenda in the relative hopes that a parent won't know about it to censor it.

There are different levels of discreet. You find covering nips discreet, others would say the entire breast.

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Most members of my family don't think breastfeeding in and of itself is gross, but most of them think breastfeeding past a few months of age is. You can guess what they think of me knowing I breastfed my girls well past a year and the last one two years. Between that and homeschooling...well, I'm the weirdo of the family. Fine by me. :D

 

 

Me too.

 

My FIL told me when my DS was about 18 months old that "it's about time you got that boy off the tit.":001_huh: Needless to say, he didn't wean until he was nearly 2.

 

MIL thinks that after the first 3 months or so, it is pointless and constantly makes comments about "when you finally stop nursing."

 

My mom thinks it's weird, but she doesn't say anything out of the way about it.

 

A few months ago, we went to eat at Red Lobster. I was nursing with a cover and I heard a lady a few tables away say, "I just don't know why people have to breastfeed their children in public."

 

I just said rather loudly that "I guess some people would rather be disturbed during their meal by a baby that is crying, loud, and hungry than by a baby being fed by their mother because some feet sticking out of a blanket makes them uncomfortable.":001_rolleyes:

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Why? Formula may not be the best under the best circumstances, but why force someone to do something they don't want to do when the alternative is perfectly viable?

 

Well, I don't completely disagree, but this instance was more like her husband told her not to breastfeed because it would interfere with his pleasure. That would not fly in my world, but obviously she was okay with it.

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Both of my dsil's are completely disgusted by it. I don't know why?

 

I think most people understand breastfeeding and all, I just think that many mothers work and that is why it isn't done as often. I also think a focus on breasts as playthings (Hooters, anyone?) doesn't help. I don't think increased "awareness" will change that.

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I guess we live in different worlds. Most parents I know do indeed care deeply about what their children encounter on the television.

I find it slightly disturbing that anyone would suggest it's a good idea to discreetly "slip in" a social agenda on a children's show; no matter how "good a cause".

 

With that said, we are conservative and we love Sesame Street. We grew up on it ourselves :D.

 

Parents I know personally do care, and anyone on this board obviously cares as they're on this board, talking about parenting issues and likely educating their kids at home. But I think many people don't or only care in a very general way - half an hour a day of anything labeled educational, with no exploration of what that means, for example, is a way I think many busy parents cope.

 

I guess anyone who doesn't know that Sesame Street pretty much exists to slip in social agenda messages doesn't know much about Sesame Street. :D

 

But I also have trouble seeing it as controversial. To me, if you think peeing and pooing is "icky" then that's a problem too. Natural bodily functions are not icky. Some of them are private. Some of them require an understanding of hygiene. But icky? No. Teaching kids that is really basic in my view to raising kids with a healthy body image and basic biological understanding.

 

Technology has put us in a place where women to not have to breastfeed to have healthy babies. And thank goodness, since some women are unable to breastfeed. However, just teaching kids that this is one function of women's bodies shouldn't have to be a radical social message.

 

I don't think of people who object to breastfeeding for others or basic breastfeeding education as being especially well-educated in this day and age, honestly. If you, yourself, were raised in such a way that you feel like it's icky or uncomfortable, if you're reasonably well-informed, then surely you don't think others should be discriminated against for breastfeeding or should be stopped from doing it? I support anyone's right to choose not to, but every bit of research shows us that it's the healthiest thing for a baby. Just like if you want to choose less healthy foods, that's your right, but I'm glad Sesame Street is "slipping in" the message that carrots are good for you.

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MIL refused to breastfeed because she didn't like the idea of it. She thought it was icky.

 

Many ... moms won't breastfeed because they think it is "gross" or "weird".

 

Cat

 

I've known many grown women that felt this way. Part of it might be sexual I suppose, but mostly the entire concept of being that physically and constantly attached to anyone is viewed as gross, icky, or weird by them. They are just as loving towards their kids and have great relationships with their kids, but that constant closeness for much of any non emergency reason seems weird to them.

 

Especially to a parent that doesn't stay home full time, breast feeding IS a pita. If I had to mess with pumping and bottles, I might as well just give formula.

 

I am a huge advocate of breastfeeding. I've been doing it nearly non stop for almost my entire adult life! But it does have perceived draw backs. I have to have my baby with me 24/7 for many months. Or pump, which has never been easy for me. I finally decided I'd never pump again barring medical need and preface formula on hand for emergencies. For ME It also means more feedings, softer diapers, less sleep and not sleeping alone with my dh. It means being in public and having your boobs leak in front of strangers or rushing home to be there in time for the next feeding.

 

For US, we view all those things as just life as we know it and just a natural part of having kids. We don't resent it or get frustrated by it or find it unusual or overwhelmingly difficult.

 

But for most people, especially those outside of home schooling or SAHparents circles? That sounds mostly like hell for several months or years to do that while holding down a job, meeting social commitments, taxing other kids about for school or social whatever.

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A few months ago, we went to eat at Red Lobster. I was nursing with a cover and I heard a lady a few tables away say, "I just don't know why people have to breastfeed their children in public."

 

I just said rather loudly that "I guess some people would rather be disturbed during their meal by a baby that is crying, loud, and hungry than by a baby being fed by their mother because some feet sticking out of a blanket makes them uncomfortable.":001_rolleyes:

 

Hah. I heard someone at a restaurant making snarky comments about breastfeeding. Half an hour later, after they ate, she changed her baby's poopy diaper on the table. The owner came over but it was a bit late.

 

WTF?!

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I wasn't breastfed, but when I was pregnant at 18, my dr asked if I was going to breastfeed. I hadn't even considered it at that point, because I had never been exposed to anyone who had nursed. DH asked the dr. what the benefits to breastfeeding, and after hearing the reasons, told the dr. That "we" were going to breastfeed :glare: I still think it's cute that he wanted the best for our dd, especially considering he was only 18 at the time. I did end up breastfeeding, and I loved it. I did the same with each child, enjoying it less each time. I also breastfed for a longer period with each child. Ds is three and still nursing at nap, bedtime, and for occasional comfort. I threatened to formula feed this last baby, but I was only kidding myself. The worst time was nursing while pregnant with babygirl. At this point, I see it as a means of giving my babies the best nutrition. I don't enjoy it any more, and I have other ways to bond. That said, I don't think it's yucky. And I hope my daughters nurse their kids when have them.

 

When I was pregnant with first dd, MIL wanted to buy me a bunch of bottles. I told her that I only needed a couple. She replied that yeah, I was going to nurse for the first six weeks, but then I'd need bottles. :lol: she was definitely not a supporter of my bfing. I wonder what she'd say about ds nursing at three.

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I've known several young women to say they'd never breastfeed because it would "ruin" their breasts.

 

Once, when I was nursing one of my sons, a friend's youngest daughter stood in front of me watching. I actually had a blanket over him, so she asked what the baby was doing. When I told her he was eating from my breast, she was horrified and yelled "I didn't know babies ate people!" :D

 

My mom nursed me and several of my siblings in the 70's. She said she was the only mom in her peer group to breastfeed and that her friends all thought it was either gross or inferior to formula. I've had several friends who grew up with mothers of this mindset and who actively discouraged their daughters from breastfeeding their own children.

 

I think the fact that many nursing mothers have had to deal with people telling them that nursing in front of them is gross and they should take it to the restroom instead :ack2: is very indicative of some public opinion. Yes, there are debates about discretion, but many mothers who've been subjected to these comments are nursing very discretely.

 

I have a couple of sweet links to breastfeeding segments on Sesame Street from 1977 and 1988 here: http://pinterest.com/scrappyhappy/mothering/

 

I think the current campaign is to bring back breastfeeding segments to Sesame Street, because apparently bottlefeeding has been the norm on there in the 90's and 2000's. I am all for anything that helps to normalize breastfeeding in the minds of young kids.

Edited by scrappyhappymama
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My sister (single, no children, no desire for children, thinks I've wasted my life becoming a mother) thinks its disgusting.

 

I have several cousins who think its gross because "that's not what breasts are for".

 

In all honesty, I have no patience for people who think breastfeeding is gross. It's ridiculous.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

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When I had my oldest child, MIL's attitude was that people of means didn't "do that" because they can afford formula. She's better about keeping her opinions to herself years later, thankfully. DH and I like to think we paved the way for my (very crunchy) SIL and BIL and their son. SIL BFs and hasn't encountered as much negativity from the ILs because DH and I battled it out with the ILs when our oldest was an infant and they kept making rude and ridiculous comments.

 

I also have an acquaintance who had no problems talking about how gross BFing was/is, and how even her MIL (a pediataric nurse who works for a pediatrician, FWIW!) always comments about how disgusting and repugnant it is. The irony is that that particular friend would totally get her feathers ruffled if anyone would dare say anything about formula (I did not comment negatively about it, and I would never, but that is how she rolls). Totally fine to bash BFing, homeschooling, HBing,e tc. but no one had better ever comment on her personal choices, or she'd flip her lid. Again, I never did, but I witnessed this behavior with her enough through the years to know that's how the rules are played when interacting with her.

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