Do you or does anyone you know think breastfeeding is abhorrent?

[fairfarmhand]

The Sport's Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover exposes more breast tissue than those Sesame Street Clips do, and every child in Walmart can view that. (something that makes me furious!)

 

Do some women choose to have a C-section, instead of regular birth, since a certain part of the anatomy is "only for her husband"? This is ridiculous.

 

Mammals feed their children milk from their bodies. It isn't that complicated.

 

Sesame street shows farm clips with cows being milked or calves nursing, I am sure (haven't seen the show in years). Why should peopel feeding baby in the most natural way possible be an exception?

[justamouse]

my MIL and SIL thought it was disgusting.

[scrappyhappymama]

Do some women choose to have a C-section, instead of regular birth, since a certain part of the anatomy is "only for her husband"? This is ridiculous.

 

Sadly, yes they do. Apparently it's rather common among celebrities. "Too posh to push" and all that.

[Mrs Mungo]

When I had my oldest child, MIL's attitude was that people of means didn't "do that" because they can afford formula.

 

I think this is how my MIL felt in the beginning too. She was from a poor background and actually remembered being nursed herself. But, she didn't nurse because the thought at the time was that formula was "better" or "more scientific."

[fairfarmhand]

Sadly, yes they do. Apparently it's rather common among celebrities. "Too posh to push" and all that.

holy smoke....that is insane...elective surgery????

 

I found childbirth totally amazing, for all of the hard work it was.

[6packofun]

I've known many grown women that felt this way. Part of it might be sexual I suppose, but mostly the entire concept of being that physically and constantly attached to anyone is viewed as gross, icky, or weird by them.

 

Yes, and just downright exhausting and even inconvenient.

 

As for the sexual aspect, I think it does sort of play a part in our society because here, breasts are sexualized (it seems to me) a lot more than in other parts of the world. That isn't necessarily a good thing when overdone, but not automatically bad, either. I think about what the sex act itself must be like in third world countries and wonder how tender and loving and "whole body" the experience is in general--or not. So women feeding their children out in the open isn't as sexual because women's breasts are much less sexual in that culture. (These are just my musings and wonderings, not hard facts, of course, and not to say that people in third world countries don't have loving sex! Not what I'm saying!)

 

I don't necessarily want my boobs to be mostly utilitarian, quite honestly, but I do think we should find a middle ground between hubbies and babies. LOL

Edited January 11, 2012 by 6packofun
typo

[*Jessica*]

I've known quite a few people who think breast feeding is disgusting. Most think it is disgusting past a certain age, usually 6 months or 1 year, but there are a few who find it nasty in general. I don't understand that at all.

 

[/b]

I don't personally have a problem with it, but I'm not sure how it would change attitudes when I'm pretty certain the target audience would never get to view it (target audience being those with a negative view of BFing).

I think the target audience is supposed to be future generations. The idea being that if they grow up seeing moms breast feeding on tv it will be normal and they will be more likely to breast feed their own children.

[garddwr]

An aunt tells the story of breastfeeding her first baby in the 60's, very much counter to popular opinion at the time. One day her her next door neighbor came running over waving a newspaper, calling out to her "A., you have to stop nursing that baby! They've just tested breast milk and there's NOTHING IN IT!!"

 

I'm sure whatever study being cited was funded by some formula company out to show their product had more nutrients...

 

This discussion is making me very grateful for my family. One of my fondest memories of my grandfather is the way he would comment every time I was nursing a baby at his house: "Ah, you know, a mother feeding her baby is the most beautiful sight in the world." Both my grandmothers breastfed their babies, and I grew up watching my mother breastfeed 7 younger siblings. My sisters and SILs all breastfeed, some for extended periods.

 

--Sarah

[Wendi]

[/b]

Do you really think that parents who feel breastfeeding is that disgusting, would allow their child to watch a program like that?

Honest question. I don't personally have a problem with it, but I'm not sure how it would change attitudes when I'm pretty certain the target audience would never get to view it (target audience being those with a negative view of BFing).

 

I'm guessing there are a lot of parents who park their little ones in front of "Sesame Street" so they can clean or take a shower. How many people sit and watch the whole thing with their kids every time?

 

Wendi

[extendedforecast]

I'm guessing it's not an entire episode of a woman bfing, at most she may answer questions, but I seriously doubt it'll go over two minutes. As far as discreet, I think nips are still outlawed on public television, so it will have to be discreet. What are the odds that a. they're going to see it, b. they'll know what episode before hand to censore it, c. they'll care enough to do anything about it?

 

:iagree: Nothing goes over two minutes on Sesame Street.

[sweetbasil]

I find it slightly disturbing that anyone would suggest it's a good idea to discreetly "slip in" a social agenda on a children's show; no matter how "good a cause".

 

Really? I am not a fan of Sesame Street for many reasons, but showing BFing is perfectly fine with me. I don't see how showing and/or promoting it can be considered a "social agenda." Until very, very recently in human history, it was the only way to feed a baby. BFing should not be controversial! It should be the default. It's why that part of our anatomy exists!

[Mom-ninja.]

Yes, I know people who think the act of breastfeeding is disgusting. One is my friend from college. She is absolutely horrified at the thought of someone breastfeeding. She has told me, more than once, that breasts are for s*x and that's that. She finds it gross that someone would put a baby to a breast, and just plain "morally wrong." Her words.

 

There are others as well. I've heard many comments. However, my kids are downstairs screaming. I must log off. ;)

[VeganCupcake]

My mother calls it a "dirty habit". I think she'd have an aneurysm if she knew I was tandem nursing my 3 year old and my 9 month old and have no intention to wean until either child decides to stop.

 

I have several contemporaries who say things like "once they can ask for it, no more nursing". My BIL said he thinks their baby (10 months old) is going to bite off SIL's nipple :confused: so she needs to wean. There's a lot of weird information out there about breastfeeding, IMO.

[sweetbasil]

Yes, I know people who think the act of breastfeeding is disgusting. One is my friend from college. She is absolutely horrified at the thought of someone breastfeeding. She has told me, more than once, that breasts are for s*x and that's that. She finds it gross that someone would put a baby to a breast, and just plain "morally wrong." Her words.

 

Seriously, has the world gone insane?

[lionfamily1999]

I thought someone mentioned it being a "how to" episode? That would be an issue I would think.

Lol.

With that said; I still find it disturbing that some find it okay to slip in a social agenda in the relative hopes that a parent won't know about it to censor it.

There are different levels of discreet. You find covering nips discreet, others would say the entire breast.

:lol: Okay, that (a how-to) I cannot imagine.

 

I agree. It irks the living day out of me when people/corporations/governments/clubs/&tc do that.

 

Ah, but people that have big issues with that level of discretion are probably not leaving their children alone with the television. Goodness knows, even in the middle of children's programming they're happy to throw out sex to sell stuff (meaning the commercials).

 

Just so you know, we don't even 'do' tv. The kids watch netflix preapproved by us :lol: This is not even a real issue for me. The only episodes of Sesame Street that my youngest has seen have been from the first years (that's right, no helmets and kids going home with strangers).

Well, I don't completely disagree, but this instance was more like her husband told her not to breastfeed because it would interfere with his pleasure. That would not fly in my world, but obviously she was okay with it.

Why does it matter though? I mean, why try to change her/her husband's opinions or undermind what they may (though I doubt they actually do) be teaching their children?

 

I understand why you might argue with either of them (argue, not fight, iykwIm). It could be interesting. I don't understand why targeting their children with a counter message is okay or good.

[Lovedtodeath]

Well, towards the end of breastfeeding my son I was so done having people touch me that I would cringe every time he wanted to nurse. Some women start out that way I think.

 

I also think it is easier to leave your baby for others to care for if you don't breastfeed. Never getting a break can be a bad thing. I have been jealous of mothers who were able to just leave the baby and not worry about them getting fed.

 

My point of this is that in order to breastfeed a woman does have to relinquish quite a few of her rights and that is abhorrent to some people.

[Nakia]

My mother calls it a "dirty habit". I think she'd have an aneurysm if she knew I was tandem nursing my 3 year old and my 9 month old and have no intention to wean until either child decides to stop.

 

I have several contemporaries who say things like "once they can ask for it, no more nursing". My BIL said he thinks their baby (10 months old) is going to bite off SIL's nipple :confused: so she needs to wean. There's a lot of weird information out there about breastfeeding, IMO.

 

 

Regarding your 2nd paragraph, my middle dd would have been weaned by 6 months old if I played by the "once they can ask for it, no more nursing" rule. She was asking for "nummies" by then and had no qualms about raising my shirt in public. :lol: And I do think she tried to bite my nipple off! I could not get her to stop biting me despite trying all the tricks in the book! I finally had to forcefully wean her at 18 months. She's the only one I weaned like that. We both cried. It was so hard. She is still really "oral" and puts her fingers in her mouth when she's upset. Poor thing is traumatized, I think.

[Murphy101]

Regarding your 2nd paragraph, my middle dd would have been weaned by 6 months old if I played by the "once they can ask for it, no more nursing" rule. She was asking for "nummies" by then and had no qualms about raising my shirt in public. :lol: And I do think she tried to bite my nipple off! I could not get her to stop biting me despite trying all the tricks in the book! I finally had to forcefully wean her at 18 months. She's the only one I weaned like that. We both cried. It was so hard. She is still really "oral" and puts her fingers in her mouth when she's upset. Poor thing is traumatized, I think.

 

Yes. I have had a few of those too.

 

I also heard to wean them when they get teeth. Some of mine had teeth at 3 months old!

[Dustybug]

Hah. I heard someone at a restaurant making snarky comments about breastfeeding. Half an hour later, after they ate, she changed her baby's poopy diaper on the table. The owner came over but it was a bit late.

 

WTF?!

 

:blink::ack2:

 

 

Once, when I was nursing one of my sons, a friend's youngest daughter stood in front of me watching. I actually had a blanket over him, so she asked what the baby was doing. When I told her he was eating from my breast, she was horrified and yelled "I didn't know babies ate people!" :D

 

 

 

When my son was born, my DD was only 22 months old and had been weaned for several months. She didn't remember nursing. When she saw me nurse him she said, "Brover eats boobers!" lol

 

My sister (single, no children, no desire for children, thinks I've wasted my life becoming a mother) thinks its disgusting.

 

I have several cousins who think its gross because "that's not what breasts are for".

 

 

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

Uh, actually, that is exactly what they are for....biologically speaking and all. :confused:

[Nakia]

In all honesty, I have no patience for people who think breastfeeding is gross. It's ridiculous. My in-laws find breastfeeding to be sexual abuse at worst and horrifying at best. :001_huh:

 

I'm a big fan of keeping breastfeeding a positive and normal occurance. I grew up around women who breastfed openly all of the time, so it was normal to me. I remember my first exposures to bottles and being very put off by the smell and fuss. I had to use them with my first two after 9 and 2 months (respectively) for medical reasons and I can not even imagine why someone would prefer that. But maybe it's partly because I'm lazy!!! I do not allow bottles in my house. I had some for after my surgery a few months ago or so for an emergency and I throw away pretend baby bottles.

 

Funny story: My oldest dd got a doll for her 3rd birthday (a few months after 2nd dd was born). She noticed the baby bottle, and she held it up and asked what it was. I was the first of my friends to have babies so she hadn't been around many babies. When I told her it was a bottle to feed the baby, she said, "That's so silly. Don't they know babies get their milk from their mom?" Some people at the party didn't think that was so funny, but I did. My girls always "breastfeed" their dolls and stuffed animals.

[Nakia]

Yes. I have had a few of those too.

 

I also heard to wean them when they get teeth. Some of mine had teeth at 3 months old!

 

Thankfully my girls got their teeth late! My oldest was walking and weaned way before she ever got a tooth.

[chepyl]

Not abhorrent exactly' date=' but my dad is extremely uncomfortable about the whole thing. My mom did not breastfeed any of us and my dad will leave the room whenever possible......but when he's sitting with us at a restraunt, he's kindof stuck! :tongue_smilie:I try to be accommadating and not do it around him, but hey- I gotta feed when the baby wants some food!

 

Interestingly, it's not nearly as weird to nurse in front of my FIL and BILs. It's not about not being discreet- I have one of those blanket things that have a strap that hooks around your neck. It's just that he is SO uncomfortable, it makes me uncomfortable (and probably everyone in the vicinity)[/quote']

 

It is more comfortable for me to bf in front of my in laws than my family. I only have one cousin who nursed more than 6 weeks. But all of my sils nursed, some well past a year.

 

I've known many grown women that felt this way. Part of it might be sexual I suppose, but mostly the entire concept of being that physically and constantly attached to anyone is viewed as gross, icky, or weird by them. They are just as loving towards their kids and have great relationships with their kids, but that constant closeness for much of any non emergency reason seems weird to them.

 

Especially to a parent that doesn't stay home full time, breast feeding IS a pita. If I had to mess with pumping and bottles, I might as well just give formula.

 

I am a huge advocate of breastfeeding. I've been doing it nearly non stop for almost my entire adult life! But it does have perceived draw backs. I have to have my baby with me 24/7 for many months. Or pump, which has never been easy for me. I finally decided I'd never pump again barring medical need and preface formula on hand for emergencies. For ME It also means more feedings, softer diapers, less sleep and not sleeping alone with my dh. It means being in public and having your boobs leak in front of strangers or rushing home to be there in time for the next feeding.

 

For US, we view all those things as just life as we know it and just a natural part of having kids. We don't resent it or get frustrated by it or find it unusual or overwhelmingly difficult.

 

But for most people, especially those outside of home schooling or SAHparents circles? That sounds mostly like hell for several months or years to do that while holding down a job, meeting social commitments, taxing other kids about for school or social whatever.

 

I worked 4 hours a day, 4 days a week when DS was a baby. He took two bottles while I was gone. I pumped whenever I could. I had a break at work every night, I pumped two bottles at that time. I pumped before bed, I pumped if I woke up before DS. When he was 2, I finally threw out the last of the milk. (I have a sub zero that keeps it for a year, I stopped pumping at about 12 months.) I had enough milk to feed a new born for a month....all expired. I cried.

 

I will have to pump with this next baby, I is that important to me, that I will pump as much as possible.

[PeacefulChaos]

I will admit (donning flame suit now) that when I was pregnant with DS7, I did NOT like the idea of breastfeeding. I thought it was weird. I did not think it was a BAD thing, necessarily, I just knew I didn't want to do it.

Part of it had to do with my IL's. They tried to push it on me. And they were trying so hard to tell me everything I should do that it only made me want to do the opposite, kwim? Plus, I didn't know a lot of moms at the time - I had a couple of SILs who had each had one kid, and the one who breastfed was nuts. Obviously, I now know that the two things are unrelated :lol: but it colored my opinion of breastfeeding at that time.

DS7 did so well on formula (he doesn't have allergies, nor any of the other supposed problems that non-breastfed babies have :rolleyes: ) that I just stuck with it for DS6. I was more open to the idea at that time (The ILs had backed off at that point) but I still just wasn't sure about it. Making a bottle seemed so much easier.

I did consider breastfeeding DD. After she was born. I thought maybe I should, that for some reason it would be a good thing to do for her once she started eating (she was in the NICU). The NICU nurses and doctors said I was welcome to try, BUT that it would be really difficult since I had never done it before, as I would need to start immediately and would need to get up at night and pump, etc, as though I had a newborn at home, to keep my supply up. I decided not to - going 1.5 each way to the hospital every day, having 2 boys at home, recovering from a c/s, I knew my limits. She ate formula fine, too. It took her awhile, but it always does - they reassured me that she would have done the same with breastmilk.

Sometimes I wish I would have tried it. The IL's still try to make me feel bad about it, indirectly and discreetly (told younger SIL that they were 'so happy' that she was going to breastfeed, going on and on about the benefits. She was quick to set them straight that she thinks either choice is perfectly fine. Of course, they were also 'so happy' that she didn't have a c/s, and tell us we missed out because I had three and never actually pushed a baby out. Not only do I not agree, but it angers me that they consider it different. To me, the baby comes out, and it doesn't matter how. Not to mention that my c/s were medically necessary...I didn't go walking in asking for one. :glare: Anyway, as you can see, my ILs and I don't see eye to eye on some of these things...)

I don't necessarily buy all the things that are supposed to be 'benefits'. I have one kid with asthma and eczema and two without. None of my kids have had many ear infections - I think each one has had 1-2 in their life. I'm not saying formula is better, by any means. I'm just saying I think they are both valid. (Like the whole thing that the kid's IQ will be better if they are breastfed - better than what? How can anyone claim to know what their IQ would have been otherwise? I'm not trying to be ignorant or snarky, but logically I don't know how it makes any sense if Kids A and C have higher IQs than Kids B and D, and A and C were breastfed and B and D were not. No one can know what IQ Kids A or C would have had had they not been breastfed, or what B and D would have had had they been breastfed. Anyway...)

I don't find it abhorrent. I find it to be a completely acceptable method to feed one's child. (And totally and completely up to that family alone. :D )

ETA: I was not breastfed (thank goodness! My mom was uh...recreational :lol: ) and my grandma never encouraged the idea when I was pg. She didn't discourage it, either.

[Rivka]

I guess we live in different worlds. Most parents I know do indeed care deeply about what their children encounter on the television.

I find it slightly disturbing that anyone would suggest it's a good idea to discreetly "slip in" a social agenda on a children's show; no matter how "good a cause".

 

But it's also a social agenda to make sure that images of babies do not show breastfeeding. It's not as if bottle feeding is just a default, neutral situation which has no social implications attached to it.

 

Besides, it also qualifies as pursuing a social agenda when Sesame Street promotes healthy eating, bike helmets, sharing, parents reading to children, inclusion of people with disabilities, similarities between children of different races and from different countries, and just about everything else that Sesame Street shows about how people behave.

 

This discussion is making me very grateful for my family. One of my fondest memories of my grandfather is the way he would comment every time I was nursing a baby at his house: "Ah, you know, a mother feeding her baby is the most beautiful sight in the world." Both my grandmothers breastfed their babies, and I grew up watching my mother breastfeed 7 younger siblings. My sisters and SILs all breastfeed, some for extended periods.

 

I remember that when my son was about 15 months old I mentioned to my father that at that age I was starting to feel more conscious of other people's opinions about toddler nursing. He said, sounding totally shocked, "But you don't have to pay any attention to that!" :D When I was younger, he used to say that the only problem with women nursing in public is that the baby's head covers up so much. :lol:

 

I also have fond memories of going to a UU church camp when Colin was five months old. He was a CONSTANT nurser. Every time I started feeding him, I would see gooey, happy expressions spread across people's faces, and I knew that they were remembering babies of their own. That whole week he went everywhere with me, and I felt like we were surrounded with love.

[Audrey]

To say that our society thinks breastfeeding is "abhorrent" or "detestable" is egregiously inaccurate.

 

I don't think the vast majority of people have a problem with breastfeeding if you are talking purely about the nutritional aspects. I think the problem that some people have is with those are not discreet breastfeeders in public.

 

FWIW, I tried very hard to bf, but couldn't for various reasons. I ended up pumping what little I had for the few months it lasted. When I did try bf'ing, I didn't like it at all. It was painful and unproductive and incredibly inconvenient. I did not want to be observed while doing it, and found the ogling of others to be very discomforting. In turn, I also find it very discomforting to observe others breastfeeding. I feel it should be done in private, or at least not in public view. I am not in any way interested in viewing the breasts and subsequent breast products of other women. In addition, some babies are very sloppy feeders, which makes the whole spectacle even more unappealing.

 

I get that it is a preferable feeding form. I get that it is an excellent bonding moment for mother and child, but I would much prefer that people keep it between themselves and their child and spare me the inclusion, whether intended or accidental, in their bonding/feeding moments.

Edited January 11, 2012 by Audrey

[Haiku]

I think people have a negative view of breastfeeding because there is so much guilt associated with it. When you have women who say that formula feeding is child abuse, it's natural that there will be a backlash.

 

Tara

[Lady Marmalade]

I don't necessarily buy all the things that are supposed to be 'benefits'. I have one kid with asthma and eczema and two without. None of my kids have had many ear infections - I think each one has had 1-2 in their life. I'm not saying formula is better, by any means. I'm just saying I think they are both valid. (Like the whole thing that the kid's IQ will be better if they are breastfed - better than what? How can anyone claim to know what their IQ would have been otherwise? I'm not trying to be ignorant or snarky, but logically I don't know how it makes any sense if Kids A and C have higher IQs than Kids B and D, and A and C were breastfed and B and D were not. No one can know what IQ Kids A or C would have had had they not been breastfed, or what B and D would have had had they been breastfed. Anyway...)

I don't find it abhorrent. I find it to be a completely acceptable method to feed one's child. (And totally and completely up to that family alone. :D )

ETA: I was not breastfed (thank goodness! My mom was uh...recreational :lol: ) and my grandma never encouraged the idea when I was pg. She didn't discourage it, either.

 

:iagree: I was never even remotely interested in BFeeding. I don't find it abhorrent at all, I don't find it icky or disgusting, I just was not interested in doing it. I know plenty of people who do it or have done it, it just wasn't an avenue I was willing to even consider. It also doesn't bother me when people do it around me. If anything, I always feel sorry for BFeeding parent because they are so tied down. When my kids were infants, DH and I took turns with the night-time feedings, and that is something that he has always lauded as being the best thing about bottle feeding. He got to share in that intimate late-night time when the only two people awake were him and baby.

 

Both my kids were bottle fed, and are extremely healthy- between the two of them there has been only one ear infection ever.

 

I think it's unfair to generalize that every woman who doesn't BFeed their kids thinks its gross, icky, or that they're not well-informed. I'm very glad we're past the stage of babies, because as of late there's definitely been almost a reverse-discrimination against women who bottle feed.

[Audrey]

I also have fond memories of going to a UU church camp when Colin was five months old. He was a CONSTANT nurser. Every time I started feeding him, I would see gooey, happy expressions spread across people's faces, and I knew that they were remembering babies of their own. That whole week he went everywhere with me, and I felt like we were surrounded with love.

 

 

I'm glad this was your experience, but not everyone gets all gooey, happy at seeing other babies, nor other babies feeding.

 

I've never once gotten soppy over someone else's children. I adore my own, but the gooey, happy is reserved for him alone. I don't romanticize about babies. I know many very good mothers who share similar sentiments as well.

[Audrey]

I think people have a negative view of breastfeeding because there is so much guilt associated with it. When you have women who say that formula feeding is child abuse, it's natural that there will be a backlash.

 

Tara

 

 

I kind of thought that starving him was going to be called child abuse -- hence, the formula.

[mommymilkies]

Regarding your 2nd paragraph, my middle dd would have been weaned by 6 months old if I played by the "once they can ask for it, no more nursing" rule. She was asking for "nummies" by then and had no qualms about raising my shirt in public. :lol: And I do think she tried to bite my nipple off! I could not get her to stop biting me despite trying all the tricks in the book! I finally had to forcefully wean her at 18 months. She's the only one I weaned like that. We both cried. It was so hard. She is still really "oral" and puts her fingers in her mouth when she's upset. Poor thing is traumatized, I think.

 

:grouphug: They ask for it at birth, even! Maybe not in English, though. ;) I find that idea nonsense, too. I also had to wean my two middle girls more forcibly than I wished. I was SO touched out and then pg with my (now 4 yo). I hope to make it a little easier on us this time, but I'm still going strong at 14 months. My in-laws asked almost daily with my last two girls (both weaned at 2.5) if they were finally on a bottle. :glare:

[PeacefulChaos]

To say that our society thinks breastfeeding is "abhorrent" or "detestable" is egregiously inaccurate.

 

I don't think the vast majority of people have a problem with breastfeeding if you are talking purely about the nutritional aspects. I think the problem that some people have is with those are not discreet breastfeeders in public.

 

FWIW, I tried very hard to bf, but couldn't for various reasons. I ended up pumping what little I had for the few months it lasted. When I did try bf'ing, I didn't like it at all. It was painful and unproductive and incredibly inconvenient. I did not want to be observed while doing it, and found the ogling of others to be very discomforting. In turn, I also find it very discomforting to observe others breastfeeding. I feel it should be done in private, or at least not in public view. I am not in any way interested in viewing the breasts and subsequent breast products of other women. In addition, some babies are very sloppy feeders, which makes the whole spectacle even more unappealing.

 

I get that it is a preferable feeding form. I get that it is an excellent bonding moment for mother and child, but I would much prefer that people keep it between themselves and their child and spare me the inclusion, whether intended or accidental, in their bonding/feeding moments.

This.

And the 'bonding' thing is another 'benefit' that I don't necessarily believe. I've not seen any proof of that. If the baby is getting fed and taken care of, I think the bonding is just the same, regardless of how the baby is fed.

:iagree: I was never even remotely interested in BFeeding. I don't find it abhorrent at all, I don't find it icky or disgusting, I just was not interested in doing it. I know plenty of people who do it or have done it, it just wasn't an avenue I was willing to even consider. It also doesn't bother me when people do it around me. If anything, I always feel sorry for BFeeding parent because they are so tied down. When my kids were infants, DH and I took turns with the night-time feedings, and that is something that he has always lauded as being the best thing about bottle feeding. He got to share in that intimate late-night time when the only two people awake were him and baby.

 

Both my kids were bottle fed, and are extremely healthy- between the two of them there has been only one ear infection ever.

 

I think it's unfair to generalize that every woman who doesn't BFeed their kids thinks its gross, icky, or that they're not well-informed. I'm very glad we're past the stage of babies, because as of late there's definitely been almost a reverse-discrimination against women who bottle feed.

:iagree:

 

 

Oh, and Audrey, I'm another one who doesn't get like that over babies!! :D

[TheHomeScientist]

I can't imagine how anyone could find breastfeeding abhorrent. I don't even particularly care if the woman is discreet. If someone is offended, so what? People can be offended by anything. That's their problem.

[Audrey]

This.

And the 'bonding' thing is another 'benefit' that I don't necessarily believe. I've not seen any proof of that. If the baby is getting fed and taken care of, I think the bonding is just the same, regardless of how the baby is fed.

 

:iagree:

 

 

Oh, and Audrey, I'm another one who doesn't get like that over babies!! :D

 

 

I was trying to say (but not clearly enough) that feeding is a bonding moment. That would apply, IMO, to breast or bottle feeding, or even spoon feeding when the child is older. All of your attention is focused on each other in a (hopefully) pleasant exchange. :001_smile:

 

It's interesting to read the comments in this thread and realize that not everyone feels the need to ooh and aah over babies or breastfeeding (or other aspects of babyhood) so much.

 

I think there are definitely people who are very *in love* (for lack of a better phrase) with babies and baby-ness. There are also definitely people who are more pragmatic in their approach. There are wonderful mothers amongst both types, too. :001_smile:

[Impish]

*haven't read all the responses*

 

Honestly, I find the pendulum swinging far the other way.

 

I nursed my first 4 kids. Baby Boo is on a bottle. I can't nurse him, due to medication, RSD.

 

I'm amazed at how many ppl think that they have the right to weigh in on how I feed my baby. Telling me to continue going w/out meds (yeah, b/c me in screaming pain is such a benefit to my kids, my dh and I!) that I was being selfish for choosing to have some pain mgmt over nursing, that he wouldn't be as bright, as bonded, would get sick...

 

I'd love to get to a day when how someone feeds their baby is considered a private parenting decision, and other ppl keep their nose in their own biz.

 

It's one thing if someone asks for advice/support. A whole 'nother to just spout off unprompted.

[Audrey]

, that he wouldn't be as bright, as bonded, would get sick...

 

.

 

 

I heard this, too. FWIW, ds has never had a single ear infection in his life - something that plagued nearly all his bf'ed age mates when they were babies/toddlers/preschoolers. He is very close to both dh and I, who both bottle fed him. He is amazingly bright (of course, you'll had to deduct my momma-bias from that comment ;)), and far ahead of his age-mates in all academic subjects (but he's also homeschooled, so that could account for his edge as well).

 

In other words.... :tongue_smilie: on those theories. :lol:

[Harriet Vane]

Years ago, my small group leader's wife told me she was completely grossed out by breastfeeding and wanted nothing to do with it. She was not being mean about it--she was telling me her own experiences.

[Rivka]

I'm glad this was your experience, but not everyone gets all gooey, happy at seeing other babies, nor other babies feeding.

 

I've never once gotten soppy over someone else's children. I adore my own, but the gooey, happy is reserved for him alone. I don't romanticize about babies. I know many very good mothers who share similar sentiments as well.

 

Yeah, I thought it was interesting that my post wound up right next to yours. I should clarify that I didn't feel entitled to other people's gooey happy reactions, didn't expect it, and wouldn't have felt offended not to get it. If you had been there and chosen to look away from me, or not sit near me, I would've been totally cool with that.

 

It was just a particularly nice feature of that week for me, to keep seeing elderly couples look at me feeding my baby, get a soft-eyed smile, and then look at each other, especially since our culture tells us that a woman breastfeeding in public needs to be on the defensive.

 

My first baby was bottle-fed, because everything that could go wrong with breastfeeding did go wrong. I hated pulling out a bottle in public and feeling like people around me were evaluating my worth as a mother. So I also get that part of it. She's a beautiful, healthy, smart kid, and not different from her breastfed brother in any notable way. I think the liabilities of formula and the advantages of breastmilk are often overstated.

[Farrar]

I feel it should be done in private, or at least not in public view. I am not in any way interested in viewing the breasts and subsequent breast products of other women. In addition, some babies are very sloppy feeders, which makes the whole spectacle even more unappealing.

 

I respect that people feel that for themselves. Anyone who doesn't want to feed in public shouldn't have to, just like anyone who doesn't want to breastfeed can choose not to. But do you mean to say that your emotional feeling about it should apply to others or that there should be rules against feeding in public? For me, that's where it becomes problematic. If I wasn't allowed to feed my boys in public when they were infants, I wouldn't have been able to leave the house for a year - or, at the least, our neighborhood.

 

This is where it bothers me. Some people feel that tattoos or piercings are wrong or inappropriate or shouldn't be seen or whatever. Or that a showing bra strap is. Or that women showing their legs is. But no one thinks that because they don't like it and they happen to be a Starbucks clerk or an airline attendant or whatever that they can kick the tattooed guy out of their space. But people do make that leap with breastfeeding women sometimes.

[BakersDozen]

I think breastfeeding is "icky". I can't stand doing it. I never could. I did it because his health made it more necessary than ever. He needed me, regardless of my personal feelings about it. I'm not one of those happy breastfeeders that you will ever hear claiming breastfeeding is the best way to bond (as I was told, lol). It wasn't... for me. I'm sure it is for some, or most; but not for me.

 

Thank you for your honesty! This is exactly the way I feel. I bfeed because it is best for my babies, not because I love it (I don't) or feel a bond while nursing (again, I don't). I am very uncomfortable around those who are bfing and no number of times I myself nurse a baby changes that. I don't know why I feel that way but there it is.

 

Posted as I sit here pumping which I find way more icky than bfing, btw.

[Photo Ninja]

I wonder how accepting or non-accepting of breastfeeding is dependent on the age of the person holding the opinion.

 

My mil nursed her babies, so she considered it normal.

 

My mother was shocked that I was going to breastfeed, and told me lots of info about how bad it would be for my baby and for me. She believes whatever she is told by anyone who says he is an authority, so she honestly believed that nursing was horrible, not hygienic, would starve my baby and make him not grow, make a baby sick, cause learning disabilities (from bad nutrition), and pass on allergies, to the baby from me. She also was convinced that it would harm me to nurse, that it is inconvenient, not healthy for me, etc. I set her straight and gave her truthful information. She eventually came around, and after seeing that my babies thrived, she decided that it was okay for me to breastfeed.

 

My grandmother was shocked, disgusted, abhorred by the idea that I "would do that to her great grandchild". My mother thought it was a bad idea, but I had already refuted all her arguments against it and had taught her the truth, and she became more open because she had no facts on her side. My grandmother never agreed with nursing, was very worried that one of her friends might learn that I "was doing that" and it would embarrass her to no end, but she learned not to argue about it because I was doing it anyway, no matter what she thought.

 

But I think both had bought what they were sold when they were younger. My mother and grandmother really believed what they had been told by 'professionals' when they had their babies. They both truly believed that it was something only done by poor women or women in third world countries who had no other choice, because anyone who had the money and loved their baby would buy formula because formula is much better, healthier, etc. for babies. My mother and grandmother totally bought the arguments from formula companies that formula is healthier than breast milk. They even offered to buy me formula because they assumed that I couldn't afford it, and that was the reason I was going to nurse. They just couldn't understand that nursing was my choice, not forced upon me, and that I believed it was best for my baby.

 

So, all that to say, I think many people have believed what they were taught. My theory (untested) is that younger people will be more accepting of breastfeeding because the trend has been announced and open for the last 25 years at least. Before that, it was formula all the time, with lots of advertising and misinformation. So older people probably are the ones who are more aghast about it. Just my thoughts.

[Jenny in Florida]

This is where it bothers me. Some people feel that tattoos or piercings are wrong or inappropriate or shouldn't be seen or whatever. Or that a showing bra strap is. Or that women showing their legs is. But no one thinks that because they don't like it and they happen to be a Starbucks clerk or an airline attendant or whatever that they can kick the tattooed guy out of their space. But people do make that leap with breastfeeding women sometimes.

 

Or you could be like me and dislike having to hear profanity in public. Mind you, I'm not above using it myself when the situation warrants, but ever since my kids were little it's bugged me that we can't go anywhere without hearing people shouting obcenities.

 

I also dislike watching people drink alcohol in public. It makes me uncomfortable.

 

And don't even get me started on smoking . . .

 

However, with the exception of smoking, which does actuall affect me and mine, I don't go around telling people not to do those things. And, I would argue, none of those are even necessary.

 

But a baby eating? That is. And our bodies are actually designed to feed them. So, I don't get how anyone, anywhere has the right to bug me about it.

 

(And I was one of those extremely discreet women who covered up more when nursing than I would in a modest bathing suit. People still got uptight, because apparently just KNOWING that a baby was feeding was bothersome.)

[Farrar]

I wonder how accepting or non-accepting of breastfeeding is dependent on the age of the person holding the opinion.

 

I would guess class has a lot to do with it too back in the day. My grandmother who was working class breastfed her kids. Too poor not to. My grandmother who was middle class formula fed.

 

Now, with formula so inexpensive, I would guess the reasons for a mother to choose one or the other are a lot more complex.

[PeacefulChaos]

Personally, I don't mind if a woman is breastfeeding in public. I just think she should do it as modestly as possible (one of those things that goes around her neck to stay in place, whatever it's called. :lol: Even a blanket to cover, if the baby won't pull it off). I don't think she should be sent to the bathroom. :)

We had a lady at church breastfeeding in service. She was sitting in the balcony, which means there were people all around her and above her. He was a very fussy eater (very young) and she kept removing the blanket she was covering herself with to readjust him, etc. It was very awkward for anyone sitting in the vicinity, because her bOOk was just there. IMO, she should have just gone to the nursery or something to feed him - on top of the modesty issue, there is the fussy baby distracting from service...

But anyway, as long as they are covered and I can see None of the breast (not just the nipple), I don't think it's a big deal in public.

[Jennifer3141]

My mother didn't eben try to breastfeed my brother and I. Her doctor told her there was no need with formula out there.

 

Both parents were shocked that we breastfed and I say "we" because DH was adamant that no child of his would ever be on formula. And we just kept shocking them because I tandem nursed the kids and they didn't stop until DD was 4 1/2 and DS was 3 1/2. One night, they just declined pre-sleep nursing, thanked me and went to sleep.

 

My SIL did formula because she "works" as a nurse. She does 3 8 hour shifts every ten days but whatever... :glare:

She also wanted to "give her breasts back" to my brother - an expression that makes me want to do this: :willy_nilly: when thinking about my brother. And my DH years later will sometimes call out of the blue and ask for my breasts back. :D

 

I also don't care about public breastfeeding one bit as long as I don't get sprayed. What I'd really like to ban are obese, gross guys who show off half their disgusting butts or women who wear really tight shirts who just shouldn't and you see rollage. If you want to ban breastfeeding in public, please ban the other things too. I got quite a show at the grocery store last week when this guy bent over. Wow. There are moments in my life, I'd like to be able to undo.

Edited January 11, 2012 by Jennifer3141

[TXMomof4]

My neighbor is having a baby in May. She absolutely refuses to bf because it "grosses her out". She also has an older dd and didn't bf her either.

[Jenny in Florida]

We had a lady at church breastfeeding in service. She was sitting in the balcony, which means there were people all around her and above her. He was a very fussy eater (very young) and she kept removing the blanket she was covering herself with to readjust him, etc. It was very awkward for anyone sitting in the vicinity, because her bOOk was just there. IMO, she should have just gone to the nursery or something to feed him - on top of the modesty issue, there is the fussy baby distracting from service...

 

I'm thinking of Rivka's post and wondering if it's something about UUs?

 

I nursed both of my kids during church services all the time. It never seemed to bother anyone (and, believe me, some of the old ladies would have let me know!). In fact, I had two ministers at different times approach and tell me how wonderful it was to see nursing moms in the sanctuary.

 

Mine are teens now, of course. But there are usually at least a few moms nursing during any one of our church services now, too.

[Slartibartfast]

I get annoyed that people even make an issue about it.

 

Sure we can toss about anecdotal stories about but it is still anecdotal. We would call each other on that in other instances. The statistics and medical studies have shown that breastfeeding is the ideal.

 

My kids don't get ear infections but I do. I was fed rice cereal when I came home from the hospital, my kids never got rice cereal and were breastfed till 3+. I have horrible allergies but my kids do not. I get hives, have an autoimmune condition, and asthma. My kids don't

 

 

But when my friend was stressed over nursing I told her that she didn't HAVE to breastfed to be a great mom. That the stress over wanting to nurse was doing her more harm than good and that I thought she should quit.

 

At the end of the day if someone cares so much about what you feed your kid that they have a bizarre need to make you feel bad about it, maybe they aren't worth talking to.

 

I don't care if people find it icky that I nurse my kid in public. No, I am not going to use a cover. Be a grown up.

 

If people think that FF is abuse they are crazy. Tell them to be grown ups and get out of fairy land.

 

My ILs behaved crazily about me nursing, dh had to tell them to cut it out.

 

I think our society is ridiculous about it because our society is very immature. Does anyone remember how they draped covers across the statues of Justice? It's ridiculous. People are silly.

 

Is this really that controversial?? Grow up America!

 

 

 

 

Edited January 11, 2012 by Sis

[Paintedlady]

DD's birthmom was completely grossed out by the idea but she's also really weird about bOOks. She thinks their gross in general. :001_huh:

[UnsinkableKristen]

I don't care if people find it icky that I nurse my kid in public. No, I am not going to use a cover. Be a grown up.

 

If people think that FF is abuse they are crazy. Tell them to be grown ups and get out of fairy land.

 

 

:iagree: Love. This.

[kiana]

This is where it bothers me. Some people feel that tattoos or piercings are wrong or inappropriate or shouldn't be seen or whatever. Or that a showing bra strap is. Or that women showing their legs is. But no one thinks that because they don't like it and they happen to be a Starbucks clerk or an airline attendant or whatever that they can kick the tattooed guy out of their space. But people do make that leap with breastfeeding women sometimes.

 

Yeah, this.

 

I don't really like watching women breastfeed. So I look the other way. Just like I do when I see plumber's cracks.