Do you or does anyone you know think breastfeeding is abhorrent?

[lionfamily1999]

I think people have a negative view of breastfeeding because there is so much guilt associated with it. When you have women who say that formula feeding is child abuse, it's natural that there will be a backlash.

 

Tara

:iagree:

I think it's unfair to generalize that every woman who doesn't BFeed their kids thinks its gross, icky, or that they're not well-informed. I'm very glad we're past the stage of babies, because as of late there's definitely been almost a reverse-discrimination against women who bottle feed.

:iagree:

 

I'm amazed at how many ppl think that they have the right to weigh in on how I feed my baby.

---

I'd love to get to a day when how someone feeds their baby is considered a private parenting decision, and other ppl keep their nose in their own biz.

 

It's one thing if someone asks for advice/support. A whole 'nother to just spout off unprompted.

:iagree:

[Slartibartfast]

I think eating vegetables is abhorrent.

 

I think there is a lot of backlash from the vegetable eaters for saying how uninformed the do-not-eat-vegetable people are.

 

Look at all the jerks like Jamie Oliver saying we are unhealthy, my kids don't eat vegetables and they are smart and don't get sick.

 

I don't want to see people eat vegetables or look at them in magazines.

 

It's just food, a perfectly normal process and part of being human. We wouldn't argue about whether or not it was gross for dogs/cows/whales/horses/camels/goats to nurse.

 

Sis, proud mammal.

Edited January 11, 2012 by Sis

[Amber in SJ]

When I was PG with dd #2, 14 years ago, I was standing in line with another PG woman. We shared due dates & had a nice conversation until she told me she wasn't going to Bf because it violated the sexual contract between husband & wife.

 

I must have had this face :confused: because she explained that the part of wedding vows about keeping yourself only for your spouse & not committing adultery meant not Bf-ing.

 

My ILs were not supportive of Bf-ing beyond 3 months. They kept telling me that if I insisted on "doing that" I'd never get my b00ks back. I usually replied with shock that I thought these were my b00ks, or I'd tell them I don't miss my b00ks as much as I miss my pre-baby belly.

 

I want to ask them if they miss their old body parts, but that would be rude. I don't know why they think they can be rude to me.

 

Amber in SJ

[Farrar]

Is this really that controversial?? Grow up America!

 

 

 

 

 

The second clip is from 1977. So, not a *new* Sesame Street agenda, but one they started when *I* was still breastfeeding. :lol:

 

But I think if anyone is actually unsure whether or not there's hostility toward breastfeeding (as well as a lot of pro-breastfeeding advocates too) then all you have to do is read the Youtube comments for those segments.

[WistfulRidge]

My MIL.

 

She and FIL were visiting two weeks after DS1 was born. The first time I nursed him while they were around she exclaimed "I could never do that for my boys. It is so disgusting! How can you stand letting them do that to you?!?!?!"

 

As I remember it, right about that moment DH and FIL stood up very quickly and promptly wisked her away to dinner. Later, DH mentioned having "said something to my mom" and MIL has (thankfully - especially because DS1 still nurses once a day) kept her mouth shut on the subject since then.

 

When we were first married DH fell into that "thinks it is icky past the first few months" group... but that kind of went away once we had DS1. Now he gets kind of shocked whenever he hears moms of babies under a year mention weaning. ("Really? But he/she is still so little!" - is the usual response once we are somewhere private.)

Edited January 11, 2012 by theAmbitiousHousewife

[MrsBasil]

I don't think it's icky, but it's not my favorite thing in to do. I had to stop at 4 months with DS, because, as a previous poster said, starving your kid is child abuse. It never worked for us. He went on formula and became a much happier baby and I got some sleep. Prior to that he would nurse for 30-40 minutes, sleep for half an hour or so, and wake up to do it again pretty much round the clock.

 

I'm nursing DD and it's going fine. My main motivation is financial. Things keep getting tighter and nursing is free.

 

I don't care what other people do, but I am so uncomfortable nursing in public that I almost never leave the house. DD likes the Boppy and doesn't nurse well without it. She screams and refuses to eat if she's covered up at all. Even with a light weight cover, she gets MAD!

 

I'm blessed that the women at my table at MOPS don't seem to care, but I've gotten a few looks there. Besides my parents that's about the only place I go regularly right now. Sometimes church, I'm kind of OK with nursing in the fellowship hall during Liturgy. I miss the Liturgy though. :tongue_smilie:

 

My mom thinks it's gross past about 6 months, but she knows I'd like to nurse DD for a year so she keeps her comments to herself for now.

[PeacefulChaos]

I'm thinking of Rivka's post and wondering if it's something about UUs?

 

I nursed both of my kids during church services all the time. It never seemed to bother anyone (and, believe me, some of the old ladies would have let me know!). In fact, I had two ministers at different times approach and tell me how wonderful it was to see nursing moms in the sanctuary.

 

Mine are teens now, of course. But there are usually at least a few moms nursing during any one of our church services now, too.

I'm not sure what UU is??

I don't have a problem with breastfeeding a baby during church, as long as it can be done without exposing the mom to the other 400 people in attendance. :) Or even 5 of them.

 

I get annoyed that people even make an issue about it.

 

Sure we can toss about anecdotal stories about but it is still anecdotal. We would call each other on that in other instances. The statistics and medical studies have shown that breastfeeding is the ideal.

 

My kids don't get ear infections but I do. I was fed rice cereal when I came home from the hospital, my kids never got rice cereal and were breastfed till 3+. I have horrible allergies but my kids do not. I get hives, have an autoimmune condition, and asthma. My kids don't

 

 

But when my friend was stressed over nursing I told her that she didn't HAVE to breastfed to be a great mom. That the stress over wanting to nurse was doing her more harm than good and that I thought she should quit.

 

At the end of the day if someone cares so much about what you feed your kid that they have a bizarre need to make you feel bad about it, maybe they aren't worth talking to.

 

I don't care if people find it icky that I nurse my kid in public. No, I am not going to use a cover. Be a grown up.

 

 

I guess, to me, I can't imagine sitting on a bench in the mall and being willing to expose my bOOks to the passersby for the amount of time it takes to get baby in place. To me, that seems exceptionally awkward. I get that people needn't look. But a lot of people will, even by accident. I just don't feel comfortable with the idea of putting people in that position, nor would I feel comfortable sitting there with breast exposed while feeding the baby. To me, it's etiquette and decorum and modesty. It just doesn't seem proper.

In a more private situation (at home, in a small moms group, etc) its totally different.

But that's just me. Its turning into what it wasn't supposed to be, which is people's ideas about how it should be done (discreetly and whatnot).

I know lots of people don't agree with me, and that's cool. I'm not trying to change anyone's mind - the OP asked for personal opinions, and I gave mine. I knew it wouldn't be popular.

:) :chillpill:

[Slartibartfast]

 

 

 

I guess, to me, I can't imagine sitting on a bench in the mall and being willing to expose my bOOks to the passersby for the amount of time it takes to get baby in place. To me, that seems exceptionally awkward. I get that people needn't look. But a lot of people will, even by accident. I just don't feel comfortable with the idea of putting people in that position, nor would I feel comfortable sitting there with breast exposed while feeding the baby. To me, it's etiquette and decorum and modesty. It just doesn't seem proper.

In a more private situation (at home, in a small moms group, etc) its totally different.

But that's just me. Its turning into what it wasn't supposed to be, which is people's ideas about how it should be done (discreetly and whatnot).

I know lots of people don't agree with me, and that's cool. I'm not trying to change anyone's mind - the OP asked for personal opinions, and I gave mine. I knew it wouldn't be popular.

:) :chillpill:

 

I don't know how others breastfeed but it takes me half a sec to latch on a baby. I don't sit anywhere, exposing my breasts trying to get a baby to latch on. It isn't hard, babies are hungry and want to nurse, they are fast.

 

It is perfectly proper to nurse a baby. It is not immodest nor it is lacking in decorum. My baby is hungry, my baby will eat. It is normal. Normal things are not immodest.

Edited January 11, 2012 by Sis

[PeacefulChaos]

ETA: Never mind. :)

I find breastfeeding not abhorrent - no better and no worse than formula feeding a child.

I'll just stick with that. :)

[Slartibartfast]

But when you are breastfeeding, part of your breast is still exposed, correct? Like from the side and such?

I swear, I'm NOT trying to be argumentative!

 

Did you see the videos I linked? Do you feel those women are inappropriately exposed?

[kiana]

But when you are breastfeeding, part of your breast is still exposed, correct? Like from the side and such?

I swear, I'm NOT trying to be argumentative!

 

Depends. Sometimes all you can see is that the baby's mouth is attached. I've seen people where nothing at all showed, and then I've seen people who just rolled their tube top down to their bellybutton.

 

Honestly, I think that if *you* are uncomfortable feeding in public, you have every right not to. But immodest behavior, imo, should be far more up to the individual person.

 

There are certainly places I wouldn't want a baby being fed -- if it's not okay to feed the baby a bottle somewhere, it shouldn't be okay to feed them otherwise. And quite honestly, the toilet (which is often listed as where she should go to nurse) is someplace I wouldn't want to pop a bottle in baby's mouth.

[PeacefulChaos]

I didn't click on them bc I wasn't sure what they were.

I'll look later when I have more time. (I'm currently back and forth while cooking dinner :D )

I guess the women in private situations that I've seen breastfeed may not be the norm - perhaps because they are in a more relaxed situation? They don't mind having shirt pulled up, from some angles there is breast to be seen, and if the baby lets go, she's fully exposed. In those situations, I may feel a little awkward and just make sure my eyes are averted, but in public the thought makes me like Ahhh! :)

And if you don't sit down to breastfeed, do you just do it while up and walking around? ( I'm totally just curious. I always just assumed everyone just sat down to feed the baby)

 

ETA: I totally agree with not feeding a baby in the bathroom. I don't eat in the bathroom. Yuck.

[Word Nerd]

I was in a due-date-based Babycenter group when I was pregnant with my first baby, and there was a young mom-to-be who expressed how "discusting" the very idea of breastfeeding was to her.

 

I was at a friend's house with a mixed-gender small group, and I went into another room to nurse my baby because I didn't want to use a cover. My friend came in to sit and chat, and one of the other young women in the group saw us and came into the room too. When she saw me nursing (still covered with my top—just not with a blanket), she practically fell all over herself, turned red, and said OMG! Friend and I just laughed and suggested she go back to the other room. She later apologized for freaking out and admitted she thinks breastfeeding is bizarre in general.

Edited January 11, 2012 by WordGirl

[justamouse]

I think people have a negative view of breastfeeding because there is so much guilt associated with it. When you have women who say that formula feeding is child abuse, it's natural that there will be a backlash.

 

Tara

 

I think that's the natural swing of the pendulum, though. When I started breastfeeding, my elders told me it was insufficient, dirty, immodest, and that my child would never be full, sleep well or grow right.

 

My MIL was disgusted that I breastfed, and I was made to go away, into a bedroom, to feed them.

 

Now, I've had a ton of practice, but I can feed a kid anywhere. More embarrassing that BFfeeding in church is their blowout diapers. :D It's just so easy to keep a sling on and latch them on. I think a lot of it comes from oversexualization of books. They're not just for pleasure, they're for food, but when you see implants and push ups, and the super sexualization of them, people tend to forget that for millions of years, babies have been breastfed.

Edited January 11, 2012 by justamouse

[Joanne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TaraTheLiberator

I think people have a negative view of breastfeeding because there is so much guilt associated with it. When you have women who say that formula feeding is child abuse, it's natural that there will be a backlash.

 

Tara

 

Nah. I'm not buying it. I would agree that some people have a negative view of breast*feeders* because they've come in contact with a strident, in your face-with-a-purpose one.

 

But the icky, disgusting view of breastfeeding? I don't think it's common, really, or the result of aggressive about their lactivism breastfeeders. I think deep aversion to breastfeeding is more complex and profound than a reaction to rhetoric.

 

Honestly, the number of women who say formula feeding is abuse is small, as is the number of people who believe breastfeeding is repulsive. It's just those extremes that say something, post something, do something. People off the extremes of the continuum are too busy with other stuff. :)

[TravelingChris]

BReatfeeding doesn't bother me. I wasn't bf because of my medical condition and my mom regretted that. I didn't bf any of my kids because of my medical condition and also with my first, it was much easier with bottle feeding when we were moving less than 5 days after he was born, and moving over 2000 miles. Much. much easier since he could ride in his car seat with a bottle. But if I was bf,we would have to be stopping a lot for an extended time while we had an animals in the car too and in the hot desert. No, ff was definitely easier.

[Joanne]

The thread wasn't intended to be about this aspect. However, since it has been presented....

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeacefulChaos

But when you are breastfeeding, part of your breast is still exposed, correct? Like from the side and such?

I swear, I'm NOT trying to be argumentative!

 

The above is only an issue if it is an issue. For me, a flash of breast in a breastfeeding situation is not inherently.......anything except inevitable on occassion when trying to feed a baby. It's not immodest, indecent, or remotely remarkable.

[mommymilkies]

I don't know how others breastfeed but it takes me half a sec to latch on a baby. I don't sit anywhere, exposing my breasts trying to get a baby to latch on. It isn't hard, babies are hungry and want to nurse, they are fast.

 

It is perfectly proper to nurse a baby. It is not immodest nor it is lacking in decorum. My baby is hungry, my baby will eat. It is normal. Normal things are not immodest.

 

:001_huh: I agree. I do not cover and I can't even usually see my booKs when I breastfeed! If you can see, then you need to back up because my baby can't eat with your head there!!! :lol:

 

FWIW, I have NEVER seen another woman's nipple while bf, even when I was helping out. I have seen a little breast tissue, but I see far more on commercials or walking down the street any day!

[happyhomemaker25]

MIL refused to breastfeed because she didn't like the idea of it. She thought it was icky.

 

I have a friend who feels the same way. Her daughter feels the same. They don't mind if others do it they just don't want to do it.

[CatMomof3]

I breastfeed because I can and because I still enjoy it.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I breastfeed because I can and because I still enjoy it.

 

:lol: Like the comic. :)

[Pink Fairy]

I've never heard anyone saying something negative about breastfeeding, either in general or to me personally. Of course, I also haven't been criticized for homeschooling, being a SAHM, or having a larger than normal family. And no one has ever tried to interfere with my child rearing or my marriage

 

Clearly, I live a sheltered life. Or I scare people. :w00t: Whatever. But what kind of weirdo believes that breastfeeding is abhorrent? :001_huh:

 

ETA: Oops, I just reread this and realized it might sound braggie or critical. All I mean is that I am out of the loop as far as people being outrageous around me.

Edited January 11, 2012 by Mamabegood

[BarbecueMom]

I don't think breastfeeding is icky. However, I think babies in general are sort of icky. If enjoying the grossness of infancy is some sort of motherly gift, then I never got it!

 

Mine are 3 and 2 now, and I wish I could still throw a blanket over their heads at restaurants so they would eat without attracting glares.

[PinkInTheBlue]

I haven't read other responses other than the first page but in my past my ex-sil (2 of them) and my ex-mil all thought it was pretty disgusting. Actually other than my ex-bil and his wife (who was a long time nurser actually) that whole family found it pretty disgusting. Now one of those sil's daughters has had a second baby and I see on Facebook she also doesn't nurse. I'd feel safe that her reason is family not that she had attempted it and it didn't work.

 

It's just "not their thing".

[6packofun]

I agree and I don't even mind a little bit of the outer boob as things are adjusted--OK, maybe not so much in church, though. LOL

 

I think about seeing my mom and some of her friends, my aunts, etc. nursing when I was a kid and it wasn't a big deal and *somehow* they managed to feed their kiddo AND be modest. Today it just seems like there's a "rights" issue that is a little more dramatic than it needs to be. Right to DO it where you want, sure. But how is a slightly different thing.

[littlebug42]

My father was very opposed to breastfeeding, thus none of us were breastfed. He grew up very poor and to him, only the poorest of the poor breastfed their children because they couldn't afford anything else. He remained of that opinion. However, I breastfed my daughters and he never said anything negative to me. He and my brother did not want to know it was happening though and would leave the room while I was feeding my girls, even if I was covered.

 

BTW, I have several friends that honestly, I have seen way too much of their breasts because they are not at all careful about who sees anything. I was never a person that could breastfeed anywhere. I had places staked out everywhere where I could nurse privately.

[melissad2]

I don't think my mom was all that keen on the idea of my bf'ing. She would say stuff like "if you give him a bottle he will sleep longer" or "if you give him a bottle, I could help you more" and my favorite "when he can ask for it, he doesn't need it anymore".

 

I also hear people, especially first time moms with the comment that they didn't make any milk....well that's probably because you didn't put baby to the breast often enough. They will say that the baby was hungry all the time and wasn't being satisfied...that's just mother nature telling your body to amp it up!

 

I got a few strange looks and comments when I nursed my toddler in public but frankly by that time I didn't care that much. I was careful and covered with a nursing cover at first but then my DS decided that he didn't like his head to be covered while eating and pulled it off...so I just had to get over it! :D

 

I also don't understand why people don't understand that breasts were actually designed to feed babies and not for male pleasure. How exactly do they think people fed their babies before bottles and formula were invented:confused:

[6packofun]

Aw, that's a very sad reason to not like nursing! Poor guy. I can kind of understand it (from a man-provider of a certain generation point of view).

[Joanne]

I don't think my mom was all that keen on the idea of my bf'ing. She would say stuff like "if you give him a bottle he will sleep longer" or "if you give him a bottle, I could help you more" and my favorite "when he can ask for it, he doesn't need it anymore".

 

I also hear people, especially first time moms with the comment that they didn't make any milk....well that's probably because you didn't put baby to the breast often enough. They will say that the baby was hungry all the time and wasn't being satisfied...that's just mother nature telling your body to amp it up!

 

I got a few strange looks and comments when I nursed my toddler in public but frankly by that time I didn't care that much. I was careful and covered with a nursing cover at first but then my DS decided that he didn't like his head to be covered while eating and pulled it off...so I just had to get over it! :D

 

I also don't understand why people don't understand that breasts were actually designed to feed babies and not for male pleasure. How exactly do they think people fed their babies before bottles and formula were invented:confused:

 

Apparently the sexual side of marriages were doomed until formula and a functional bottle came along in the 20th century. :lol:

[ClassicalTwins]

I think bf is fine...just don't push it on me when I choose not to. I am a former neonatal ICU nurse and think breast milk is heaven sent for babies...however, enfamil & similac are pretty good at what they do too. I had considered it for my twins, but one was born with a facial defect that made it impossible to suck anything including a bottle. However Medela makes a special nipple he could use, he "sucked" (the normal infant response to something in their mouth) and we squeezed the milk in through the special nipple. So I opted for formula, it was hard enough by that time. Then I hemmoraged 1 week post delivery, had my gall bladder removed 3 weeks post partum, then went into major post partum depression...which brings me to my point.

A local breast feeding supply store had the nipples & bottles we had to use for my son. The lady there asked me if I breastfed..to which I said no. She then asked if I pumped...and I said no, and gave her a short version of a long story. She then goes all pushy that I'm a terrible mom for not giving my children breast milk! Really, 2 surgeries less than a month post partum, a child in the NICU for 31 days and not sure they'd live for 14 of those, and breast milk should have been at the top of my list?? And right after my delivery my husband was being told I was bleeding and they couldn't stop it, so he may have to make some tough decisions about a hysterectomy for me since I was too sick to make the decision. Basically, when I was at the store I was happy to be buying bottles and nipples for my baby and not having a feeding tube.

 

My point... breast feeding is great, however it is not always the best choise for all moms and just like any other decision for a family, it should in in their best interest not any one elses...kinda like choosing to homeschool.

[mama2cntrykids]

I have to admit something...I was 22 y/o when I was pregnant with my oldest and my ex-h wanted me to bf ds. I was grossed out by the thought of it. I even aquired a couple of bf books (second hand from who knows where) and the pics of bf babies made me uncomfortable, I had never grown up around bfing and had certainly never seen it irl.

 

What did I end up doing you may ask? I ended up bfing every child I had. Newest baby is nursing as I type this. You know what? I wouldn't change my decisions to nurse my babies for the world:001_smile:.

[mama2cntrykids]

Apparently the sexual side of marriages were doomed until formula and a functional bottle came along in the 20th century. :lol:

Yup, it's a wonder man-kind has survived:tongue_smilie:...

[Catwoman]

I haven't had a chance to read the other replies yet, but my personal experience as a bottle-feeding mom was that many people used to make mean comments to me because I wasn't breastfeeding my ds. Apparently, I was less of a "real" mother because I chose to bottle feed my son, and I obviously didn't care about his health, either. :glare:

 

I don't know why people feel the need to comment one way or the other on what is a very personal decision for every mom to make.

[ClassicalTwins]

I haven't had a chance to read the other replies yet, but my personal experience as a bottle-feeding mom was that many people used to make mean comments to me because I wasn't breastfeeding my ds. Apparently, I was less of a "real" mother because I chose to bottle feed my son, and I obviously didn't care about his health, either. :glare:

 

I don't know why people feel the need to comment one way or the other on what is a very personal decision for every mom to make.

 

:iagree:

 

One twin had his first ear infection at the age of 6, no asthma, no allergies. So I guess formula kids can do just fine.

[mama2cntrykids]

I also don't care about public breastfeeding one bit as long as I don't get sprayed. What I'd really like to ban are obese, gross guys who show off half their disgusting butts or women who wear really tight shirts who just shouldn't and you see rollage. If you want to ban breastfeeding in public, please ban the other things too. I got quite a show at the grocery store last week when this guy bent over. Wow. There are moments in my life, I'd like to be able to undo.

:lol::lol::lol:Oh my! I had something similar happen to me at church no less. It involved tmb (too much butt) but it was a woman...yowsers:001_huh:!

[forty-two]

I also don't understand why people don't understand that breasts were actually designed to feed babies and not for male pleasure. How exactly do they think people fed their babies before bottles and formula were invented:confused:

I'll just open my big feminist mouth and say that *I* don't get why all the "bf inhibits the sexual use of breasts" focuses on *male* pleasure :confused:. They're *my* breasts - why is all the focus on dh's pleasure in touching them and not mine in being touched? Seems like it should be the other way around, myself ;). And ftr, bf'ing hasn't inhibited either of us ;).

 

(And now, cheeks flaming wildly, I'll slink away from the computer :tongue_smilie:.)

[jillian]

I'll just open my big feminist mouth and say that *I* don't get why all the "bf inhibits the sexual use of breasts" focuses on *male* pleasure :confused:. They're *my* breasts - why is all the focus on dh's pleasure in touching them and not mine in being touched? Seems like it should be the other way around, myself ;). And ftr, bf'ing hasn't inhibited either of us ;).

 

(And now, cheeks flaming wildly, I'll slink away from the computer :tongue_smilie:.)

I totally agree :) FWIW we worked around it too. I nursed dd until she was 18 months and I would've gone longer if she truly needed it but she was nursing all out of boredom....didn't want to nurse until I sat down

[Alphabetika]

I love nursing but my parents weren't really comfortable if I was in the room with them while I was nursing my first one. As I was excusing myself, my mom would say something like, "Well, I didn't have the chance to nurse you," because I'm adopted. I think somehow it made her feel bad, even though I never commented about that or made any nursing comments to them all all.

 

By the time the latest dd came around, my mom was living with us and she didn't bat an eye when I nursed #3 even on the couch next to her.

 

I also remember when dh's grandma used to visit us at holidays, any time dd#1 would spit up (which she did a lot) Grandma would say, "Your milk is too rich for her. You should switch to formula."

[Veritaserum]

I don't think "abhorrent" is the word I would use, but I definitely know people who think it's "gross" or "icky" or who have been discriminated against because they breastfeed. So, I think when you ask people, it's not like they think breastfeeding is so wrong, yet they still feel free to discriminate against people breastfeeding, discourage women from breastfeeding, make things difficult for women who are breastfeeding, and generally judge them as yucky. So, yeah, I think introducing it on a children's program as simply normal and important would probably be a positive thing to change those attitudes.

 

:iagree: Some women quit because of lack of support or outright hostility. I'd love to see breastfeeding, particularly of babies 6 months and older, normalized and supported in our culture at large.

[justamouse]

I'll just open my big feminist mouth and say that *I* don't get why all the "bf inhibits the sexual use of breasts" focuses on *male* pleasure :confused:. They're *my* breasts - why is all the focus on dh's pleasure in touching them and not mine in being touched? Seems like it should be the other way around, myself ;). And ftr, bf'ing hasn't inhibited either of us ;).

 

(And now, cheeks flaming wildly, I'll slink away from the computer :tongue_smilie:.)

 

One of the first things I tell new B-feeding moms is the teA/O let down spray. Make sure you have a towel handy cause it goes everywhere. :D

[Caitilin]

I'll just open my big feminist mouth and say that *I* don't get why all the "bf inhibits the sexual use of breasts" focuses on *male* pleasure :confused:. They're *my* breasts - why is all the focus on dh's pleasure in touching them and not mine in being touched? Seems like it should be the other way around, myself ;). And ftr, bf'ing hasn't inhibited either of us ;).

 

(And now, cheeks flaming wildly, I'll slink away from the computer :tongue_smilie:.)

 

LOL! :iagree: And in our house, dh was always VERY appreciative of the augmentative effect of nursing.;)

[jillian]

One of the first things I tell new B-feeding moms is the teA/O let down spray. Make sure you have a towel handy cause it goes everywhere. :D

and or keep a bra on until your supply stabilizes lol

[justamouse]

and or keep a bra on until your supply stabilizes lol

 

that never worked for me? ever. :glare: The stabilizing, I mean.

[Carol in Cal.]

Apparently the sexual side of marriages were doomed until formula and a functional bottle came along in the 20th century. :lol:

 

Yes, all those people with 10 kids in the 1700's were FORCING themselves through an icky act to get them, making the sacrifice for the country, as it were.

[jillian]

that never worked for me? ever. :glare: The stabilizing, I mean.

Lol mine finally stabilized after about the 3/4 month growth spurt in dd. I always had a forceful letdown but I made sure to feed her before getting busy prior to that otherwise I'd soak through to the mattress.

[Carol in Cal.]

I'll just open my big feminist mouth and say that *I* don't get why all the "bf inhibits the sexual use of breasts" focuses on *male* pleasure :confused:. They're *my* breasts - why is all the focus on dh's pleasure in touching them and not mine in being touched? Seems like it should be the other way around, myself ;). And ftr, bf'ing hasn't inhibited either of us ;).

 

(And now, cheeks flaming wildly, I'll slink away from the computer :tongue_smilie:.)

 

Darn right.

[Carol in Cal.]

So, my mother didn't do this because she thought it was unsanitary and unscientific.

 

When I was growing up, if anyone did it it was so discreet that I never saw it. I had one aunt who did it in GM's living room, and everyone was completely embarrassed for her.

 

I decided to try it, but didn't really think that it would work out. However, it turned out to be wildly successful, and of all women in my moms' group I was the one who did it the longest. Once I got really comfortable, after maybe 2-3 months, I would do it anywhere. Church, restaurants (some), Costco planters (the benches were full), on the floor in the corner of Target. I was discreet but matter of fact, and I had really good nursing clothes so I didn't need a big obvious blanket.

 

The funny thing was, lots of women came up to me in these circumstances and said wistfully that they had tried, but their baby needed too much milk and they just couldn't keep up, and he was so unhappy that they had to stop, or it just didn't work, or they had to go back to work so fast that they had to stop really early. I felt like I was granting absolution, pretty often, in those early months. I would say, "Well, it's not that easy to get going. There's so much more help for mothers now than there used to be." or, "Well, I'll bet you are a great mother!" or "It sounds like you loved your babies a ton!" or something like that. It made me sad to picture all these women, in isolation, not being able to pull this off because it was so misunderstood and so unsupported in the community. The more 'normal' it gets, the better for everyone, I think.

[garddwr]

One of my old anthropology professors has spent his career working with the Himba people in Africa. I recently took my children to meet with him as part of a unit study centered around the Babies documentary (one of the families showcased was Himba). He emphasized when we were talking with him that in the Himba culture a woman's breasts are just not considered sexual. It's a non-issue.

 

Our culture, of course, is different, but really...if I am going to be disgusted by the sight (or thought) of a baby drinking milk from his mother's breast because of sexual aspects of the breast, I should be equally disgusted at the sight of an adult eating food with their lips, which after all have plenty of sexual aspects as well. And of course in some cultures a woman's lips are considered sexual enough to require being covered by a veil when in public...

 

And here I am using these same sexual lips for eating and (gasp!) talking...eww!

 

--Sarah

[justamouse]

And here I am using these same sexual lips for eating and (gasp!) talking...eww!

 

--Sarah

 

 

Ohh now you grossed me out. Lips! I'll never be able to look at anyone again...

 

:svengo:

 

 

 

 

:D

[Audrey]

I respect that people feel that for themselves. Anyone who doesn't want to feed in public shouldn't have to, just like anyone who doesn't want to breastfeed can choose not to. But do you mean to say that your emotional feeling about it should apply to others or that there should be rules against feeding in public? For me, that's where it becomes problematic. If I wasn't allowed to feed my boys in public when they were infants, I wouldn't have been able to leave the house for a year - or, at the least, our neighborhood.

 

This is where it bothers me. Some people feel that tattoos or piercings are wrong or inappropriate or shouldn't be seen or whatever. Or that a showing bra strap is. Or that women showing their legs is. But no one thinks that because they don't like it and they happen to be a Starbucks clerk or an airline attendant or whatever that they can kick the tattooed guy out of their space. But people do make that leap with breastfeeding women sometimes.

 

 

I mean that I feel discretion should be used at all times in public. Some women are quite discrete, others most certainly not.

 

I do not think there need to be rules about it one way or the other. I think people owe others some reasonable consideration both ways.