StaceyinLA Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 and you have no hope for life beyond your years on earth, does the thought of dying and that being "it" overwhelm you? I'm not trying to be rude at all. I guess it's just that the thought of death with no hope for anything beyond that just depresses me totally. I just wonder how those who have that belief feel about the finality of it all. Thanks for any input. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 and you have no hope for life beyond your years on earth, does the thought of dying and that being "it" overwhelm you? No. I have never thought life after death the least realistic, and since I grew up that way, it has been no lacking in my life. I saw my two parents, non-believers in after-lifes, age with dignity and die without a complaint. I think the chance to be alive is well reward enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carpe Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I do not believe in an afterlife. It makes every moment that much more important. I don't get an eternity to spend with my loved ones, I get a few decades (more if I'm lucky). I'm less quick to anger because ultimately my child climbing onto the fridge for the 3rd time today is one of a finite number of moments I will share with him. Not to say that I never get angry with the little monkey, but knowing all there will be to our relationship is what there is in the here and now makes it more important to give each moment what it truly deserves. It's late and this may make absolutely no sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Nup. If people are left on Earth long enough, they will want to die. That leads me to think dying must be a good thing if it happens at the right time. But if the that thought depresses you, don't believe in it. None of us know for certain what happens because we haven't experienced it yet. So you might as well settle on a story that suits you. :) Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Well, I don't believe in your God and heaven, but that doesn't necessarily mean I don't believe in an afterlife. I don't think that we have souls that are happy transparent versions of our earthly selves that get to hang out when we're dead, if that's what you're asking, but I think some part of our spirit lives on within the universe. If dead is really and truly dead, it makes me sad that I won't be able to be with my loved ones after that, but the idea of my body going back to the earth and becoming the trees and the animals doesn't bother me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 No. It doesn't bother me. My will asks me to be cremated and have my ashes spread over the farm. I find it more of a relief to think "well, that's it. I'm done," than to think of how I might be judged in some nebulous afterlife and which place I may end up and how it will be there and yada yada. Bottom line: I am happy to know, with pure certainty, that I will be useful fertilizer when I'm gone. I really don't need any more than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 No. I have never thought life after death the least realistic, and since I grew up that way, it has been no lacking in my life. I saw my two parents, non-believers in after-lifes, age with dignity and die without a complaint. I think the chance to be alive is well reward enough. :iagree: Life in itself is a beautiful reward, not something to be done correctly so you can get your real reward later on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Life in itself is a beautiful reward, not something to be done correctly so you can get your real reward later on. well said Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyD Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Yes, I would say that I find the idea of eternal nothingness to be fairly depressing, as well as overwhelming at times. However, I can't see how there's anything to be done about it, so as others have mentioned, I try to live life to the fullest and am grateful for every moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 No, it does not overwhelm me. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhotoGal Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Honestly, sometimes it does freak me out a little. But then I think of all the years the world existed before I was born. That's kind of the same as the world after you die, right? I mean, it doesn't bother me that all this stuff happened before I was born and I wasn't around. Plus I try to keep in mind that most everything in the world will continue on without me - I just won't be there to enjoy it. The moon will still shine. Puppies will still be cute. People will still smile. :D I feel like once I'm dead I won't be there to care one way or another. Though I do worry about how my loved ones will feel. But I guess I would have that worry anyway, even if I believed in God/heaven. I am scared of dying of a long drawn-out illness where I would be too weak or exhausted to have any final adventures or say my last goodbyes. Or dying too soon (like now!). But if I was to die at age 95 I don't think I would be upset. Learning to accept death is a part of life, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama2Many4 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 No. I have never thought life after death the least realistic, and since I grew up that way, it has been no lacking in my life. I saw my two parents, non-believers in after-lifes, age with dignity and die without a complaint. I think the chance to be alive is well reward enough. What about the poor babies that were thrown in microwaves and killed? What about those who are starving to death? What about children who are dying painful deaths by cancer? Are they "lucky" enough just to have lived? How would that be fair in your mind. Honestly. Where is their "reward"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jar7709 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 (edited) :iagree: Life in itself is a beautiful reward, not something to be done correctly so you can get your real reward later on. :iagree: but 'reward' might not be the word I would choose. Maybe I would say, "life is." As I was losing my faith, I admit I was scared by the possibility that this life is all there is. Now, however, I find it liberating. THIS is ALL there is, and every moment is to be lived, my eyes are open to the complexity and beauty of reality, and it is amazing. Edited January 5, 2012 by jar7709 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 and you have no hope for life beyond your years on earth, does the thought of dying and that being "it" overwhelm you? I'm not trying to be rude at all. I guess it's just that the thought of death with no hope for anything beyond that just depresses me totally. I just wonder how those who have that belief feel about the finality of it all. Thanks for any input. Overwhelmed, yes. Totally freaked out to be honest. But I'm in a weird place. I don't have a clear, firm belief of anything. I WANT to believe. I pray for belief. I won't even go into the intense inner emotions I deal with on this topic. One day I'll feel certain God is there and a beautiful ever-after is waiting me. The next day I am certain I'm praying in vain and death looms ahead like a black hole. The uncertainty makes me fear death in an irrational manner actually. I'm going to be a hot mess one day when I'm actually dying. I have little hope that it will be peaceful unless it is quick and unexpected. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 What about the poor babies that were thrown in microwaves and killed? What about those who are starving to death? What about children who are dying painful deaths by cancer? Are they "lucky" enough just to have lived? How would that be fair in your mind. Honestly. Where is their "reward"? And if you believe in God, where was he when all of those things were happening? Yes, terrible things happen, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't all try to enjoy the beauty of life. And even those who live short and brutal lives can still find love and wonder in life. They probably appreciate it to a degree that most of us never will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funschooler5 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I agree with PPs...I would also add that I find comfort in knowing that my kids will live on when I'm gone, and that they will remember me. Also, I think of beloved relatives of mine who have died, and it makes it less scary to me somehow, if that makes any sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I don't believe in any conscious afterlife, but the thought of death is not overwhelming to me. It sucks, of course, but that is the way of the world. I hope to live long enough to be ready to go, and I hope that I am not ready to go for very long before I do go. After death, I believe that we linger on earth through the love, compassion, teaching, caring, etc that we leave behind through our actions while here. That's what matters. When it's my time to go, I will have left fingerprints and handprints in the hearts and minds of others. If I have done my job on earth right, the world will be a little better place because I was here. The transient nature of life is also a great motivator to make the most of the time we are blessed with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 and you have no hope for life beyond your years on earth, does the thought of dying and that being "it" overwhelm you? I'm not trying to be rude at all. I guess it's just that the thought of death with no hope for anything beyond that just depresses me totally. I just wonder how those who have that belief feel about the finality of it all. Thanks for any input. The thought of the finality of death does not overwhelm me in the abstract, but death has a way of arriving at inconvenient times. :) The short answer is that my brain is hardwired to prefer brutal realism over what I would consider a comforting delusion. Honestly the concept of believing in afterlife to avoid depression is one I find difficult to comprehend because I cannot will myself to believe in what I am confident is highly unlikely. However, a dear now deceased friend once stated that she had to believe in afterlife for her mental health. For eons prior to my birth I did not exist, so why would I find it depressing to cease existence? All life has its seasons, and I am ok with that. Actually the world without supernatural omnipotent beings makes more sense to me. The uncertainty of an indifferent universe enhances my existence instead of provoking anxiety. For all its ills, the universe is full of mystery, beauty, humanity. I find awe, peace, and reassurance in things as simple as kittens playing, spectacles of nature, people uniting to fight injustice, creating art and music, etc. One stab at a precious existence in a world full of awe and beautiful mystery for me outweighs any unproven claims of a future system of rewards and punishments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Bad things happen. This is evil. Or tragedy. Or however you define it. Why bad things happen to innocents has nothing to do with my lack of belief in an afterlife. It is an entirely different discussion. Personally, I find the fact that bad things happen to innocents an effective anti-theism argument. The world is neither just nor fair. It is inherently unfair. Evil exists. Bad luck also exists. I simply do not believe in a great equalizer of Heaven awaiting us. In any event, I can't see that it would be fair that the microwaved baby and her repentant mother should get the same reward (heaven). Nor should the brutalized victim of a child-torturing monster get the same reward as the repentant abuser. However, my readings of Christian scripture tell me that these people could/would all receive to the same salvation and Heaven (except of course, the baby and maybe the child would NOT receive the same reward if they had not had various sacraments). Talk about unfair. Frankly, I don't want any part of a Heaven where the child-torturing late-day repenters are. I'd rather go somewhere else. Anywhere else. I'm just not up for sharing a harp or a choir bench in heaven with some child-molesting SOB, no matter how sincere and timely his repentance was. (I'm guess at the core I am more of a works-based salvation person than a faith-based salvation person . . . even if I think the IDEA of universal salvation is a lovely one in theory.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorganClassicalPrep Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Overwhelmed, yes. Totally freaked out to be honest. But I'm in a weird place. I don't have a clear, firm belief of anything. I WANT to believe. I pray for belief. I won't even go into the intense inner emotions I deal with on this topic. One day I'll feel certain God is there and a beautiful ever-after is waiting me. The next day I am certain I'm praying in vain and death looms ahead like a black hole. The uncertainty makes me fear death in an irrational manner actually. I'm going to be a hot mess one day when I'm actually dying. I have little hope that it will be peaceful unless it is quick and unexpected. I'm in a similar place. I grew up without belief, was baptized Catholic and had belief, and for the last.... oh, year or so, have really been struggling. I WANT to believe it's just... well. To answer the OP: Dying doesn't scare me. It's not what awaits me I'm afraid of. It's what I will leave behind. I just lost my father (as in, 4 days ago lost) and I'm... just... distraught. And I have my mother and my daughter who both help keep me together. But as an only child, who has an only child, I worry about what would happen to DD should I go. That's what gives me nightmares at night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 and you have no hope for life beyond your years on earth, does the thought of dying and that being "it" overwhelm you? No, not at all. I'm living this life for the sake of this life, and doing the best I can now, without expecting something afterwards. The end is the end, whether it's a slab of chocolate or life, so I don't see much point in letting the thought of the end affect the present experience. If anything would overwhelm me, it would be the thought of leaving children without my support, and I'd feel the same about that whether I believed in a life after death or not, as it concerns those left behind, not the end of my own life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I do believe in God, but not Heaven. My father had a strong belief in reincarnation, which affected me quite profoundly, mainly because he died when I was 8 yo. I still 'believe' in reincarnation, even though my reason rejects it. I have no fear of dying, of 'nothingness'. I only need to dwell briefly on the vast enormity of space and time, and I feel quite at peace with the idea of 'nothingness'. Best wishes Cassy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipsey Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 and you have no hope for life beyond your years on earth, does the thought of dying and that being "it" overwhelm you? I'm not trying to be rude at all. I guess it's just that the thought of death with no hope for anything beyond that just depresses me totally. I just wonder how those who have that belief feel about the finality of it all. Thanks for any input. Not at all. In fact, I want to make the most of my time here and make sure I'm doing the things I want to do with the ones I love because I understand my time is limited. In fact, I see an eternity of life quite depressing. It's the transience of life that gives it an added beauty and meaningfulness, to my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manhattan_Mom Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 My son, 3.5, has been asking about death a lot recently. I agonized about what to say, then I had a vision. It is 100 years from now, my now-elderly sons are sitting outside near a vast canyon. They are drinking iced tea and reminiscing about dear old mama. They look at each other and one of them smiles and thumps his chest, as if to say, she's right here. She is part of the stuff we are made of. And it hit me that - OF COURSE - that is absolutely, positively, entirely true, in two orthogonal ways. We are genetically derived from our parents. Parts of my father (my favorite person on earth) lives in me -- in ways trivial (we have a few webbed toes, strong dark-light shifts make us sneeze, we peel labels from bottles) and core (we are logic-lovers, we are risk adverse, we are planners). Along another axis, our psychology, philosophy, culture, values and world-view are -- I hit exactly the right phrase I want here -- "primarily entrained" by our parents. They are our main model of how to think and how to live. Even if, in some cases, we try to make ourselves "out of sync" with them (aka rebelling) -- it is with reference to them. I believe this theoretically, I've experienced it personally, and when my son is a bit older, I will convey this to him. In this context, every precious minute we spend together creates, in his brain, another "episode of entrainment" (of neural activity) that will live in his brain so long as he lives. Long after I am gone, so long as his mind is able to maintain and access those circuits, I will literally be part of him. That give me great joy. And makes every moment we are together so profound. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 No. It doesn't bother me. My will asks me to be cremated and have my ashes spread over the farm. I find it more of a relief to think "well, that's it. I'm done," than to think of how I might be judged in some nebulous afterlife and which place I may end up and how it will be there and yada yada. Bottom line: I am happy to know, with pure certainty, that I will be useful fertilizer when I'm gone. I really don't need any more than that. Pretty much that. Also, by the time my grandmother was 93 she was tired of living and was content to go. I hope I reach that age and feel the same. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 and you have no hope for life beyond your years on earth, does the thought of dying and that being "it" overwhelm you? I'm not trying to be rude at all. I guess it's just that the thought of death with no hope for anything beyond that just depresses me totally. I just wonder how those who have that belief feel about the finality of it all. Thanks for any input. That part doesn't bother me. The thought of potentially leaving young children motherless and dh with a whole slew of kids to manage on his own... THAT part scares the bejezus out of me! I have an amazing life. That could never be depressing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onceuponatime Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 (edited) Nup. If people are left on Earth long enough, they will want to die. That leads me to think dying must be a good thing if it happens at the right time. But if the that thought depresses you, don't believe in it. None of us know for certain what happens because we haven't experienced it yet. So you might as well settle on a story that suits you. :) Rosie This is what I believe. When I was studying Genesis and trying to reconcile what I knew and what I believed, I came to an understanding that death can be a good thing, even a blessing. I would not want to live forever. That is unnerving to me. I want there to be an end. I don't believe in a literal heaven, but I do believe in eternity. I am made of eternal stuff. The eternal bits that came together to make me will still be around when I am gone. Also, my words and my actions will leave a legacy of some kind that will endure long after I am gone. It makes me want to live more deliberately than I have in the past. Edited January 5, 2012 by Onceuponatime Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivka Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 What about the poor babies that were thrown in microwaves and killed? What about those who are starving to death? What about children who are dying painful deaths by cancer? Are they "lucky" enough just to have lived? How would that be fair in your mind. Honestly. Where is their "reward"? It isn't fair. However comforting it might be to think that it will all be made better after they die, and that they will somehow be compensated by rewards we can't know about now, I think that this world is it. There isn't any inherent "fairness" to the universe. It's up to us to do whatever we can to stop evil and relieve suffering. I'm actually not an atheist, but I don't believe that there's a god that lets us off the hook for that by providing cosmic justice or balance or rewards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 And if you believe in God, where was he when all of those things were happening? Yes, terrible things happen, but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't all try to enjoy the beauty of life. And even those who live short and brutal lives can still find love and wonder in life. They probably appreciate it to a degree that most of us never will. Well now you see there is an explanation for all of this with religion. Free will, right? Now the child is in a better place, right? I mean there has to be something to hold on to or people would abandon religion and then chaos would ensue. It's a win/win for the church. It can't be as simple as, "Bad people do bad things that cause suffering." It is this balancing act of religious claims with thoughts of the Holocaust and other incredible acts of hatred and evil that caused me to throw in the towel. For me it doesn't balance. I am here living. I have a limited amount of time. I will enjoy my time and make the world around me a better place so that my kids live on without me with great memories and as good people. Save the money on a funeral and have a party. My only regret will be that I didn't get to enjoy just one more party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I do not believe in an "afterlife." I believe that all things must come to an end. Things die. Life ends. It's just the way it is for all living things. Can it be a little bit depressing if you spend too much time contemplating it? Sometimes, I guess. But the opposite is true, too, if you spend time contemplating living forever and ever and ever, that's a little bit depressing, too. You live, and you die. That's life. You enjoy it while you have it, you do good things with it, you appreciate it, you make a difference, create new generations, love your loved ones, and eventually, you die. Like someone else said, life is rewarding in and of itself in many ways for most people. I don't spend a lot of time dwelling on it. That would be like sitting here refusing to enjoy a bowl of ice cream because I'm too busy sighing over the fact that it's going to be gone soon. I'd rather just eat and enjoy it! And whoever started bringing up what about the baby put in the microwave and so on and so forth...yeah. Bad things happen. We all know that. There are people, unfortunately, whose lives aren't rewarding at all. Who live lives of abuse, neglect, and misery. Sometimes they end up escaping it and sometimes they don't. That, too, is part of life, but that has nothing to do with an "afterlife" and if you ask me, that's just yet more proof there's no magic supreme all powerful being out there. Any such being who could stand by and let little babies get raped and microwaved and tortured and murdered and abused and neglected, sometimes for years, while we're supposed to go "Oh, it's okay, we still love you, magic supreme being, we know little baby will get his "reward" someday, after he's dead," is not exactly worthy of my worship. No thanks. I'll go about celebrating my life here on earth with my loved ones, doing good as I see it, making a difference in tangible ways that I can, and when I die, I'm confident I will just die and that will be that. I would like to be cremated (after donating any organs if that is a possibility) and then I will be gone. If I "live on," it will be in the memories and hearts of those who loved and knew me, and when they're gone, it will be in the traits and genes they continued to pass down and perhaps, for a while, stories they told, things I left behind. I think it is interesting you ask the question aren't we afraid/depressed about there being nothing after life on earth... while a lot of people just accept it and come to terms with it, a lot of people can't and that's probably why there is such a strong need to believe in a Heaven and afterlife and a God even though every time I really think about it I'm just kind of amazed that such a belief could really be so widespread among adults, it seems so fantastical after all (to me). But the belief is so ingrained and the alternative so bleak to so many and the "but what if?" fear so strong that I think for a lot of people it's too scary to not believe. If there are those of you that believe that my beliefs will have some vindictive supreme invisible being putting me in "hell" for all eternity in some fantasy afterlife despite being a good person and doing good things unlike the murderer rapist abusers in question (who supposedly might end up in some happily ever paradise if he honestly says he's sorry and decides he believes in "God"), well, okay, but I just don't believe in that and don't see what makes such a being so worthy of my undying devotion, either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 (edited) What about the poor babies that were thrown in microwaves and killed? What about those who are starving to death? What about children who are dying painful deaths by cancer? Are they "lucky" enough just to have lived? How would that be fair in your mind. Honestly. Where is their "reward"? That's a question for people who believe in an omnipotent, benevolent deity. It doesn't really apply to people who don't share that belief system since we're not looking for an explanation of why the world is fair. Personally, I try to be grateful for what I have and to make the world a bit better. ETA: Sorry, hit enter too soon. Stacey, I'd recommend reading Marcus Aurelius' Meditations. It will give you an overview of stoicism and lots of good maxims to live by even if you are a theist. MA thought about death a lot and came to some good conclusions. Edited January 5, 2012 by chiguirre Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmarango Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 All living things die. That is the way I look at it. I will die, my children will die, everyone will die...we just don't know when. Is it scary or overwhelming? No. It is the only thing that we know for certain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Free Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 and you have no hope for life beyond your years on earth, does the thought of dying and that being "it" overwhelm you? I'm not trying to be rude at all. I guess it's just that the thought of death with no hope for anything beyond that just depresses me totally. I just wonder how those who have that belief feel about the finality of it all. Thanks for any input. Actually not at all. The idea of death being the final act was troubling at first, but ultimately freeing. Knowing that life is finite and that we need to make the best of it right NOW actually inspires me to push myself harder. It helps to remind me to live in the moment and to be more mindful of every passing day. Life seems like a precious, miraculous and beautiful gift. I find myself taking it less for granted and being filled with more wonder and awe now than when I was a believer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Free Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 As I was losing my faith, I admit I was scared by the possibility that this life is all there is. Now, however, I find it liberating. THIS is ALL there is, and every moment is to be lived, my eyes are open to the complexity and beauty of reality, and it is amazing. :001_smile: Yes this is exactly how it progressed for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I want to answer before I read the replies. and you have no hope for life beyond your years on earth, does the thought of dying and that being "it" overwhelm you? Not at all. It just makes me want to be the best person I can be while I'm alive, and to enjoy life. By enjoy life, I don't mean checking off items on a bucket list. I just mean I try to enjoy my everyday life and the people in it. Do I always succeed? Of course not. But I always try. It doesn't bother me that there's nothing "after". When I'm gone, I won't know I'm gone, so I can't worry about that. I can only do my best while I'm here. I'm happy to be alive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Nup. If people are left on Earth long enough, they will want to die. True. One of dh's grandmothers lived to be 103. When she was in her early 90's she (a Christian) said, "I don't know why the good lord hasn't taken me yet. I've been ready to go for a while now." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 (edited) I don't believe anything specific about a god or an afterlife. My gut tells me there is something larger than us, but I don't believe whatever that is has any kind of meaningful control over the universe or is an any way personally interested in me. And I'm content to leave it at that. Similarly, as a puny human, I find it a bit upsetting to think that when I die I will just be gone. And I understand the allure of believing in something after that. In fact, I love books and films that play around with ideas about an afterlife. However, I can't say I "believe" in one. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me. And I'm content to leave it at that, waiting to see what, if anything, will happen when it's my turn. So, no, I don't find the idea of death especially scary. I hope to stick around for a good, long time, long enough to make sure my kids are ready to be without me. I hope to be able to see them settled and happy and to meet my grandchildren and be in their lives for a while. I hope I don't miss more of that stuff than I have to by leaving soon. But I'm not worried in general about death or what comes after. Edited to add: Does anyone but me remember that silly movie "Foxes?" There's a bit in there about how the girls talk about what they want to happen to their bodies when they die. One of them says she wants to be buried and have an apple tree planted on top of her so that everyone else can come along once a year, eat an apple and chat about how good she is tasting that year. I actually really love that idea. Edited January 5, 2012 by Jenny in Florida Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 And whoever started bringing up what about the baby put in the microwave and so on and so forth...yeah. Bad things happen. We all know that. There are people, unfortunately, whose lives aren't rewarding at all. Who live lives of abuse, neglect, and misery. Sometimes they end up escaping it and sometimes they don't. That, too, is part of life, but that has nothing to do with an "afterlife" and if you ask me, that's just yet more proof there's no magic supreme all powerful being out there. Any such being who could stand by and let little babies get raped and microwaved and tortured and murdered and abused and neglected, sometimes for years, while we're supposed to go "Oh, it's okay, we still love you, magic supreme being, we know little baby will get his "reward" someday, after he's dead," is not exactly worthy of my worship. No thanks. I'll go about celebrating my life here on earth with my loved ones, doing good as I see it, making a difference in tangible ways that I can, and when I die, I'm confident I will just die and that will be that. I would like to be cremated (after donating any organs if that is a possibility) and then I will be gone. If I "live on," it will be in the memories and hearts of those who loved and knew me, and when they're gone, it will be in the traits and genes they continued to pass down and perhaps, for a while, stories they told, things I left behind. I think it is interesting you ask the question aren't we afraid/depressed about there being nothing after life on earth... while a lot of people just accept it and come to terms with it, a lot of people can't and that's probably why there is such a strong need to believe in a Heaven and afterlife and a God even though every time I really think about it I'm just kind of amazed that such a belief could really be so widespread among adults, it seems so fantastical after all (to me). But the belief is so ingrained and the alternative so bleak to so many and the "but what if?" fear so strong that I think for a lot of people it's too scary to not believe. If there are those of you that believe that my beliefs will have some vindictive supreme invisible being putting me in "hell" for all eternity in some fantasy afterlife despite being a good person and doing good things unlike the murderer rapist abusers in question (who supposedly might end up in some happily ever paradise if he honestly says he's sorry and decides he believes in "God"), well, okay, but I just don't believe in that and don't see what makes such a being so worthy of my undying devotion, either. :001_wub::001_wub::001_wub: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 No. I have never thought life after death the least realistic, and since I grew up that way, it has been no lacking in my life. I saw my two parents, non-believers in after-lifes, age with dignity and die without a complaint. I think the chance to be alive is well reward enough. :iagree::iagree: Why would I care about an afterlife when this life is so important?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I just lost my father (as in, 4 days ago lost) and I'm... just... distraught. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 The thought doesn't bother me in the least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauranc Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 and you have no hope for life beyond your years on earth, does the thought of dying and that being "it" overwhelm you? I'm not trying to be rude at all. I guess it's just that the thought of death with no hope for anything beyond that just depresses me totally. I just wonder how those who have that belief feel about the finality of it all. Thanks for any input. The thought of dying and that being it doesn't overwhelm me. I feel that we make our own heaven (and our own hell) right here on earth; and try and live my life to the very fullest each and every day. I spend as much time as I can with my kids, hopefully pointing them in the direction of love and peace-- so that they will be lights in the world, helping others and being happy within themselves. I honestly don't feel like I need anything after this life. I believe we live on in the hearts and minds of people who loved us, and for me.. that is enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I just lost my father (as in, 4 days ago lost) and I'm... just... distraught. :sad: I missed this when I first read your post. I am so sorry, you must be going through a very difficult time just now. I know your Mom will need a lot of love and support from you, especially as you're an only one (I am too, and have been there), but do take good care of yourself too. We're all here if you need to 'talk' to someone. :grouphug: Cassy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 (edited) No - since once it is all over I won't be conscious to know it is all over. Life was here on Earth before I showed up, and it will continue after I am gone. More important to be aware of how good life is (good and the bad of it) while one is alive, and enjoy it as much as possible (stopping to smell the roses, etc. - not trying to live a materialistic "good" life.) Edited January 5, 2012 by JFSinIL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 From matter we once again become energy to later again become matter. It's just a never ending circle of birth and death. I do fear leaving my kids before they are ready, as I do being alone, if my dh were to leave before me. I'm human, and naturally I fear death (really more the business of dying/pain and such vs. the end result). But I've never found comfort or meaning in most all "faiths" I've explored. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 Yes, I would say that I find the idea of eternal nothingness to be fairly depressing, as well as overwhelming at times. However, I can't see how there's anything to be done about it, so as others have mentioned, I try to live life to the fullest and am grateful for every moment. I feel this way sometimes. It would be so lovely if Heaven existed. It's a lovely thought. Honestly, sometimes it does freak me out a little. But then I think of all the years the world existed before I was born. I feel like once I'm dead I won't be there to care one way or another. Though I do worry about how my loved ones will feel. I worry about those I leave behind as well. Especially if I die while my dc are still young. After death, I believe that we linger on earth through the love, compassion, teaching, caring, etc that we leave behind through our actions while here. That's what matters. When it's my time to go, I will have left fingerprints and handprints in the hearts and minds of others. If I have done my job on earth right, the world will be a little better place because I was here. :iagree: The short answer is that my brain is hardwired to prefer brutal realism over what I would consider a comforting delusion. Same here. I can't force myself to believe. I also fear the death of my dh and dc. I really don't think I could cope with the grief. The idea of them being happy in heaven is appealing, but again I can't force myself to believe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 No, it doesn't worry me. If you really believe that death is the end, then it's not frightening: you live, then you stop living. When you are dead you have no consciousness, so there's nothing to be afraid of. I don't have a spiritual bone in my body - I can't imagine belief in an afterlife. I spent some time this evening with a 92 year old neighbour who is not well. We discussed beliefs. She tends to think that death is the end but says she can't be absolutely sure. She doesn't seem to find the idea of the finality of death frightening. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 No, it does not overwhelm me. :) :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 The thought of dying and that being it doesn't overwhelm me. I feel that we make our own heaven (and our own hell) right here on earth; and try and live my life to the very fullest each and every day. I spend as much time as I can with my kids, hopefully pointing them in the direction of love and peace-- so that they will be lights in the world, helping others and being happy within themselves. I honestly don't feel like I need anything after this life. I believe we live on in the hearts and minds of people who loved us, and for me.. that is enough. This describes my feelings very accurately. I missed it the first time I read through so forgive me posting 2x in a row. To me, "heaven" is living on in the memories of loved ones, and being at peace with what I did here on earth, kwim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted January 5, 2012 Share Posted January 5, 2012 I'm more afraid of a loved one dying and me having to live without them than I am of dying. As I posted before, this is my fear. BTW, I love this thread. It's shown me I'm not so alone in my beliefs as it can seem at times. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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