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This is *exactly* how I feel regarding the Penn St debacle


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This essay eloquently gets to the heart of the Penn St cover-up mess:

 

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2011/11/10/omelas-state-university/

 

Warning: there is some very strong language, which I personally do not condone, but which does serve to emphasize the depth of the author's disgust.

 

*I did scan several pages of posts to see if this had already been shared/discussed, so my apologies if it has and I missed it.

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"These things should be simple:

1. When, as an adult, you come come across another adult raping a small child, you should a) do everything in your power to rescue that child from the rapist, b) call the police the moment it is practicable."

 

The right thing to do is so glaringly obvious that I'm still in disbelief that man after man let it slide in order to protect their careers, reputation, program, team, university, etc. etc. etc.

 

Be prepared for more cautiously worded denials and justifications by those involved, followed by apologizies to the victims and now meaningless "In hindsight I should have done more" statements.

 

Cowards.

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Virtually my entire family rallied to my brother's side when I took my therapist's advice and told them about what he did. Even when they discovered his current child pornography collection, it didn't change a thing. What hurt the most was that it made me realize that they must have had suspicions about what was going on at the time, but they denied it then and did nothing, just as they deny it now.

 

I'll never understand it. My brother has never been a very good person even aside from this, and yet they all tripped over themselves to defend him. Afterwards, I became the black sheep of the family. Even the (very few) people who told me that they believed me and they were very sorrowful about what happened, turned out to be just placating me and were some of the most vocal behind my back about how it just couldn't be true and there must be something very wrong with me to make me lie like that.

 

I was not prepared for the reaction of my family when I told them. I still have trouble accepting that this marked complete separation from them. What my brother did was bad enough, but it hurts a lot more knowing that no one stood up for me then despite the warning signs, and that not a single person offered their love and support to me even as an adult.

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It seems that simple to me, as well.

 

However... Has anyone read "Mistakes Were Made, But Not by Me"? I found it quite enlightening regarding how thoroughly one's mind can ignore/cover/justify things that cause us psychic pain, completely unconsciously.

 

Obviously, every single person who came to have this information did exactly the wrong thing, but looking at their actions/inactions from that angle is an interesting perspective.

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This whole thing is disgusting on every level. Don't those who know and do nothing get in trouble too? Isn't that like a failure to report thing? I don't care what any law says you just don't do this. It is wrong on every single level and if anyone stands by and does nothing I think their punishment should be worse than the one actually commiting the crime because in my opinion they are sicker.

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Virtually my entire family rallied to my brother's side when I took my therapist's advice and told them about what he did. Even when they discovered his current child pornography collection, it didn't change a thing. What hurt the most was that it made me realize that they must have had suspicions about what was going on at the time, but they denied it then and did nothing, just as they deny it now.

 

I'll never understand it. My brother has never been a very good person even aside from this, and yet they all tripped over themselves to defend him. Afterwards, I became the black sheep of the family. Even the (very few) people who told me that they believed me and they were very sorrowful about what happened, turned out to be just placating me and were some of the most vocal behind my back about how it just couldn't be true and there must be something very wrong with me to make me lie like that.

 

I was not prepared for the reaction of my family when I told them. I still have trouble accepting that this marked complete separation from them. What my brother did was bad enough, but it hurts a lot more knowing that no one stood up for me then despite the warning signs, and that not a single person offered their love and support to me even as an adult.

 

That's wretched. I'm so sorry for what you've had to go through. :grouphug:

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Article on ESPN says due to the nature of Pennsyvania's laws, that Paterno and others may use the legal defense that the victims had a choice about whether or not to be touched.

 

 

 

That loophole could present a challenge for some of the potential plaintiffs, Specter said. Legal teams for Paterno and any other defendants could argue that the boys had the choice of being touched inappropriately by former Nittany Lions assistant Jerry Sandusky.

 

ESPN

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Article on ESPN says due to the nature of Pennsyvania's laws, that Paterno and others may use the legal defense that the victims had a choice about whether or not to be touched.

That loophole could present a challenge for some of the potential plaintiffs, Specter said. Legal teams for Paterno and any other defendants could argue that the boys had the choice of being touched inappropriately by former Nittany Lions assistant Jerry Sandusky.

ESPN

 

 

This makes me want to puke. Seriously. If any jury bought that these kids had a choice they shouldn't be able to serve on a jury. And what lawyer would use such a defense against kids. I mean, really....

 

I totally agree with the bloggers post in the OP.

 

(((Skadi))) I am so sorry. There is no excuse for what you had to go through. It's a main reason why I get so fired up on this topic. I don't understand how people could think a kid could make something like that up.

Edited by pdalley
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I was not prepared for the reaction of my family when I told them. I still have trouble accepting that this marked complete separation from them. What my brother did was bad enough, but it hurts a lot more knowing that no one stood up for me then despite the warning signs, and that not a single person offered their love and support to me even as an adult.

 

 

:grouphug: I wonder if.....by coming alongside and supporting you they would have felt more intensely their guilt? By supporting you they would have felt that they had something to feel/be sorry FOR?

 

Does that make sense? I'm trying to make sense of it b/c it happened here, too and I've never understood what makes parents/family take the side of the perpetrator? :confused:

 

It's not right. :grouphug:

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Virtually my entire family rallied to my brother's side when I took my therapist's advice and told them about what he did. Even when they discovered his current child pornography collection, it didn't change a thing. What hurt the most was that it made me realize that they must have had suspicions about what was going on at the time, but they denied it then and did nothing, just as they deny it now.

 

I'll never understand it. My brother has never been a very good person even aside from this, and yet they all tripped over themselves to defend him. Afterwards, I became the black sheep of the family. Even the (very few) people who told me that they believed me and they were very sorrowful about what happened, turned out to be just placating me and were some of the most vocal behind my back about how it just couldn't be true and there must be something very wrong with me to make me lie like that.

 

I was not prepared for the reaction of my family when I told them. I still have trouble accepting that this marked complete separation from them. What my brother did was bad enough, but it hurts a lot more knowing that no one stood up for me then despite the warning signs, and that not a single person offered their love and support to me even as an adult.

 

I am so sorry your family reacted that way. :grouphug::grouphug: Thank you for sharing your story, it is good to be reminded that it isn't just the abuser who harms the child, it is the responses afterward as well.

 

I don't know if you want prayers. If it does not offend you I will pray for you, your family and anyone in the abuser's path.

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Article on ESPN says due to the nature of Pennsyvania's laws, that Paterno and others may use the legal defense that the victims had a choice about whether or not to be touched.

That loophole could present a challenge for some of the potential plaintiffs, Specter said. Legal teams for Paterno and any other defendants could argue that the boys had the choice of being touched inappropriately by former Nittany Lions assistant Jerry Sandusky.

ESPN

 

That trial is going to be so sick to read about! I hate to think of the things the defense will say about those poor victims.

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Article on ESPN says due to the nature of Pennsyvania's laws, that Paterno and others may use the legal defense that the victims had a choice about whether or not to be touched.

 

 

That loophole could present a challenge for some of the potential plaintiffs, Specter said. Legal teams for Paterno and any other defendants could argue that the boys had the choice of being touched inappropriately by former Nittany Lions assistant Jerry Sandusky.

ESPN

 

Seriously? That is freakin' messed up.

 

 

(((Skadi)))

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Article on ESPN says due to the nature of Pennsyvania's laws, that Paterno and others may use the legal defense that the victims had a choice about whether or not to be touched.

 

 

 

That loophole could present a challenge for some of the potential plaintiffs, Specter said. Legal teams for Paterno and any other defendants could argue that the boys had the choice of being touched inappropriately by former Nittany Lions assistant Jerry Sandusky.

ESPN

 

 

Okay, this makes me want to vomit and throw things.

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Article on ESPN says due to the nature of Pennsyvania's laws, that Paterno and others may use the legal defense that the victims had a choice about whether or not to be touched.

 

That loophole could present a challenge for some of the potential plaintiffs, Specter said. Legal teams for Paterno and any other defendants could argue that the boys had the choice of being touched inappropriately by former Nittany Lions assistant Jerry Sandusky.

ESPN

 

The victims were not able to exercise any choice. Had they been able, I doubt any would have stayed. That is why the law is very plain about what age differentials & power differentials lead to statutory rape charges. Anyone who actually believes that cop-out should offer to take a victim's place.

 

p.

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Virtually my entire family rallied to my brother's side when I took my therapist's advice and told them about what he did. Even when they discovered his current child pornography collection, it didn't change a thing. What hurt the most was that it made me realize that they must have had suspicions about what was going on at the time, but they denied it then and did nothing, just as they deny it now.

 

I'll never understand it. My brother has never been a very good person even aside from this, and yet they all tripped over themselves to defend him. Afterwards, I became the black sheep of the family. Even the (very few) people who told me that they believed me and they were very sorrowful about what happened, turned out to be just placating me and were some of the most vocal behind my back about how it just couldn't be true and there must be something very wrong with me to make me lie like that.

 

I was not prepared for the reaction of my family when I told them. I still have trouble accepting that this marked complete separation from them. What my brother did was bad enough, but it hurts a lot more knowing that no one stood up for me then despite the warning signs, and that not a single person offered their love and support to me even as an adult.

 

I'm SO sorry to hear of your experiences with your family. It's bad enough, the abuse itself, but family reactions like this just compound the hurt. I wish this was rare, but I fear it is not.

 

It makes me even more apprehensive for Sandusky's victims. How will they go through a trial without suffering the disdain of folks who think JoePa was robbed of his legacy?

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