scrappyhappymama Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 This essay eloquently gets to the heart of the Penn St cover-up mess: http://whatever.scalzi.com/2011/11/10/omelas-state-university/ Warning: there is some very strong language, which I personally do not condone, but which does serve to emphasize the depth of the author's disgust. *I did scan several pages of posts to see if this had already been shared/discussed, so my apologies if it has and I missed it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Amen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama2Many4 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 True dat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 EXACTLY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 "These things should be simple: 1. When, as an adult, you come come across another adult raping a small child, you should a) do everything in your power to rescue that child from the rapist, b) call the police the moment it is practicable." The right thing to do is so glaringly obvious that I'm still in disbelief that man after man let it slide in order to protect their careers, reputation, program, team, university, etc. etc. etc. Be prepared for more cautiously worded denials and justifications by those involved, followed by apologizies to the victims and now meaningless "In hindsight I should have done more" statements. Cowards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swimtaxi234 Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 :iagree: That article sums it up for me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 SNL's take on the matter (featuring The Devil): http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/weekend-update-the-devil-on-penn-state/1368181 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 It really would have been that simple. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Yup. Exactly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I just don't understand how someone witnessing that's first response could have been anything other than beating the sense out of the rapist. :glare: Calling 911 would have been a solid second on my list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 SNL's take on the matter (featuring The Devil):http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/weekend-update-the-devil-on-penn-state/1368181 They did a good job with that. I also liked the part where the devil said he invented the comment sections on the Internet. True that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I just don't understand how someone witnessing that's first response could have been anything other than beating the sense out of the rapist. :glare: Calling 911 would have been a solid second on my list. Yep. #1 rip Sandusky's b@lls off. #2 call 911. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivka Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I know John Scalzi, the author of that blog post, a little. His moral compass is definitely in the right place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skadi Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Virtually my entire family rallied to my brother's side when I took my therapist's advice and told them about what he did. Even when they discovered his current child pornography collection, it didn't change a thing. What hurt the most was that it made me realize that they must have had suspicions about what was going on at the time, but they denied it then and did nothing, just as they deny it now. I'll never understand it. My brother has never been a very good person even aside from this, and yet they all tripped over themselves to defend him. Afterwards, I became the black sheep of the family. Even the (very few) people who told me that they believed me and they were very sorrowful about what happened, turned out to be just placating me and were some of the most vocal behind my back about how it just couldn't be true and there must be something very wrong with me to make me lie like that. I was not prepared for the reaction of my family when I told them. I still have trouble accepting that this marked complete separation from them. What my brother did was bad enough, but it hurts a lot more knowing that no one stood up for me then despite the warning signs, and that not a single person offered their love and support to me even as an adult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 It seems that simple to me, as well. However... Has anyone read "Mistakes Were Made, But Not by Me"? I found it quite enlightening regarding how thoroughly one's mind can ignore/cover/justify things that cause us psychic pain, completely unconsciously. Obviously, every single person who came to have this information did exactly the wrong thing, but looking at their actions/inactions from that angle is an interesting perspective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 It really would have been that simple. :glare: Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 This whole thing is disgusting on every level. Don't those who know and do nothing get in trouble too? Isn't that like a failure to report thing? I don't care what any law says you just don't do this. It is wrong on every single level and if anyone stands by and does nothing I think their punishment should be worse than the one actually commiting the crime because in my opinion they are sicker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Virtually my entire family rallied to my brother's side when I took my therapist's advice and told them about what he did. Even when they discovered his current child pornography collection, it didn't change a thing. What hurt the most was that it made me realize that they must have had suspicions about what was going on at the time, but they denied it then and did nothing, just as they deny it now. I'll never understand it. My brother has never been a very good person even aside from this, and yet they all tripped over themselves to defend him. Afterwards, I became the black sheep of the family. Even the (very few) people who told me that they believed me and they were very sorrowful about what happened, turned out to be just placating me and were some of the most vocal behind my back about how it just couldn't be true and there must be something very wrong with me to make me lie like that. I was not prepared for the reaction of my family when I told them. I still have trouble accepting that this marked complete separation from them. What my brother did was bad enough, but it hurts a lot more knowing that no one stood up for me then despite the warning signs, and that not a single person offered their love and support to me even as an adult. That's wretched. I'm so sorry for what you've had to go through. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Article on ESPN says due to the nature of Pennsyvania's laws, that Paterno and others may use the legal defense that the victims had a choice about whether or not to be touched. That loophole could present a challenge for some of the potential plaintiffs, Specter said. Legal teams for Paterno and any other defendants could argue that the boys had the choice of being touched inappropriately by former Nittany Lions assistant Jerry Sandusky. ESPN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdalley Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 (edited) Article on ESPN says due to the nature of Pennsyvania's laws, that Paterno and others may use the legal defense that the victims had a choice about whether or not to be touched.That loophole could present a challenge for some of the potential plaintiffs, Specter said. Legal teams for Paterno and any other defendants could argue that the boys had the choice of being touched inappropriately by former Nittany Lions assistant Jerry Sandusky. ESPN This makes me want to puke. Seriously. If any jury bought that these kids had a choice they shouldn't be able to serve on a jury. And what lawyer would use such a defense against kids. I mean, really.... I totally agree with the bloggers post in the OP. (((Skadi))) I am so sorry. There is no excuse for what you had to go through. It's a main reason why I get so fired up on this topic. I don't understand how people could think a kid could make something like that up. Edited November 13, 2011 by pdalley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I was not prepared for the reaction of my family when I told them. I still have trouble accepting that this marked complete separation from them. What my brother did was bad enough, but it hurts a lot more knowing that no one stood up for me then despite the warning signs, and that not a single person offered their love and support to me even as an adult. :grouphug: I wonder if.....by coming alongside and supporting you they would have felt more intensely their guilt? By supporting you they would have felt that they had something to feel/be sorry FOR? Does that make sense? I'm trying to make sense of it b/c it happened here, too and I've never understood what makes parents/family take the side of the perpetrator? :confused: It's not right. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I know John Scalzi, the author of that blog post, a little. His moral compass is definitely in the right place. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4everHis Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 I just don't understand how someone witnessing that's first response could have been anything other than beating the sense out of the rapist. :glare: Calling 911 would have been a solid second on my list. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in Florida Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Virtually my entire family rallied to my brother's side when I took my therapist's advice and told them about what he did. Even when they discovered his current child pornography collection, it didn't change a thing. What hurt the most was that it made me realize that they must have had suspicions about what was going on at the time, but they denied it then and did nothing, just as they deny it now. I'll never understand it. My brother has never been a very good person even aside from this, and yet they all tripped over themselves to defend him. Afterwards, I became the black sheep of the family. Even the (very few) people who told me that they believed me and they were very sorrowful about what happened, turned out to be just placating me and were some of the most vocal behind my back about how it just couldn't be true and there must be something very wrong with me to make me lie like that. I was not prepared for the reaction of my family when I told them. I still have trouble accepting that this marked complete separation from them. What my brother did was bad enough, but it hurts a lot more knowing that no one stood up for me then despite the warning signs, and that not a single person offered their love and support to me even as an adult. I am so sorry your family reacted that way. :grouphug::grouphug: Thank you for sharing your story, it is good to be reminded that it isn't just the abuser who harms the child, it is the responses afterward as well. I don't know if you want prayers. If it does not offend you I will pray for you, your family and anyone in the abuser's path. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Well said. I agree, I don't comprehend in the slightest how all these people just buried their heads in the sand. (((Skadi))), I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linguistmama Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Article on ESPN says due to the nature of Pennsyvania's laws, that Paterno and others may use the legal defense that the victims had a choice about whether or not to be touched. That loophole could present a challenge for some of the potential plaintiffs, Specter said. Legal teams for Paterno and any other defendants could argue that the boys had the choice of being touched inappropriately by former Nittany Lions assistant Jerry Sandusky. ESPN That trial is going to be so sick to read about! I hate to think of the things the defense will say about those poor victims. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyB Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Spot on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AprilTN Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Does anyone remember the discussion over the video of the toddler that was killed in (China?) and no one came to his rescue? I know it isn't the same situation, but I can't help but draw some parallels. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKidAcademy Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Article on ESPN says due to the nature of Pennsyvania's laws, that Paterno and others may use the legal defense that the victims had a choice about whether or not to be touched. That loophole could present a challenge for some of the potential plaintiffs, Specter said. Legal teams for Paterno and any other defendants could argue that the boys had the choice of being touched inappropriately by former Nittany Lions assistant Jerry Sandusky. ESPN Seriously? That is freakin' messed up. (((Skadi))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillian Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Seriously? That is freakin' messed up. (((Skadi))) Exactly. Why on earth is the law even written like that!?!?!?!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Exactly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Article on ESPN says due to the nature of Pennsyvania's laws, that Paterno and others may use the legal defense that the victims had a choice about whether or not to be touched. That loophole could present a challenge for some of the potential plaintiffs, Specter said. Legal teams for Paterno and any other defendants could argue that the boys had the choice of being touched inappropriately by former Nittany Lions assistant Jerry Sandusky. ESPN Okay, this makes me want to vomit and throw things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Excellent article. Excellent analogy. I hadn't thought of the Omelas story in decades, but it is so apropos to this tragedy. Spot on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Does anyone remember the discussion over the video of the toddler that was killed in (China?) and no one came to his rescue? I know it isn't the same situation, but I can't help but draw some parallels. John Stonestreet talked about this a couple days ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MotherMayI Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 That's wretched. I'm so sorry for what you've had to go through. :grouphug: :iagree::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macpuffins Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Article on ESPN says due to the nature of Pennsyvania's laws, that Paterno and others may use the legal defense that the victims had a choice about whether or not to be touched. That loophole could present a challenge for some of the potential plaintiffs, Specter said. Legal teams for Paterno and any other defendants could argue that the boys had the choice of being touched inappropriately by former Nittany Lions assistant Jerry Sandusky. ESPN The victims were not able to exercise any choice. Had they been able, I doubt any would have stayed. That is why the law is very plain about what age differentials & power differentials lead to statutory rape charges. Anyone who actually believes that cop-out should offer to take a victim's place. p. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macpuffins Posted November 13, 2011 Share Posted November 13, 2011 Okay, this makes me want to vomit and throw things. I've thrown up more than once in the last few days. And a few of my daughter's toys have suffered severe acceleration toward immovable objects as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappyhappymama Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 Virtually my entire family rallied to my brother's side when I took my therapist's advice and told them about what he did. Even when they discovered his current child pornography collection, it didn't change a thing. What hurt the most was that it made me realize that they must have had suspicions about what was going on at the time, but they denied it then and did nothing, just as they deny it now. I'll never understand it. My brother has never been a very good person even aside from this, and yet they all tripped over themselves to defend him. Afterwards, I became the black sheep of the family. Even the (very few) people who told me that they believed me and they were very sorrowful about what happened, turned out to be just placating me and were some of the most vocal behind my back about how it just couldn't be true and there must be something very wrong with me to make me lie like that. I was not prepared for the reaction of my family when I told them. I still have trouble accepting that this marked complete separation from them. What my brother did was bad enough, but it hurts a lot more knowing that no one stood up for me then despite the warning signs, and that not a single person offered their love and support to me even as an adult. I'm SO sorry to hear of your experiences with your family. It's bad enough, the abuse itself, but family reactions like this just compound the hurt. I wish this was rare, but I fear it is not. It makes me even more apprehensive for Sandusky's victims. How will they go through a trial without suffering the disdain of folks who think JoePa was robbed of his legacy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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