moms of kids with VERY active schedules....

[Denisemomof4]

do you ever worry that your kids don't have down time?

 

Do your kids ever feel weary because they have no down time?

 

Do you ever have time for uninterrupted, quality time with your kids, ALONE, REGULARLY?

 

Do your kids have enough free time with siblings?

 

Do they have enough free time for friends?

 

Do they have enough time to do things they enjoy (at home) like crafts, playing out in the woods, what have you?

 

Struggling....................

[honeymommy4]

We try to keep a steady balance. when we have weeks like that where we are gone every day I do try to get back in balance to recoup. I get so out of whack from being gone, and my kids do, too.

 

My oldest benefits from alone time, as I do every day. If i don't get that time to sort of regroup things really go haywire. i can't think straight. So yeah, i think it is important.

 

Not sure what they are busy with exactly but if you are driving on child somwhere can you catch up in the car with another while you wait?

 

At a certain point we just have to say no to some things, even birthday party invites, etc. There have been a few times now, we have just forgotten about a certain event on the weekend - whether we were out hanging as a family or just at home relaxing - showed us we needed that time to reconnect anyway. We did not stress about forgetting the event. HTH!

[Danestress]

I have simply got to learn how to quote multiple lines separately.

 

 

My kids are very busy. They have a hard academic schedule, major sports, and music study. At their age, though (almost 14) I feel this is partly their own choice. I would prefer more down time, but if the want to do well in their sports, they have to put the time in, and I am not willing to make school easier.

 

I do think they sometimes are weary from being busy. They can always choose to take a day off from a sport. The swimmer swims six nights a week and is out pretty late. Sometimes he needs to just skip a night and rest. This is always fine with me.

 

<<<<<<<<Do you ever have time for uninterrupted, quality time with your kids, ALONE, REGULARLY?>>>>>>>

 

Yes, they both travel for their sports. So once a month or so (more often sometimes) either DH or I takes a boy out of town to compete. It's me more often than DH because competition sometimes starts Friday or goes into Monday, and his job makes that hard. But obviously if I am traveling with one, he is home with the other.

 

The parent who take the kid is traveling, checking into a hotel for a couple of nights, eating meals, and of course attending the sporting event. These are really precious times. Sometimes we might have dinner with another family, but often, we just do something the two of us. I really really value this "one on one" time with my teen boys.

 

I know moms who have never gone on a 'just the two of us" trip with a son. I do it all the time. So often I couldn't even tell you all the times and places. I know when they are grown and have wives, I will absolutely cherish the memories of having a boy to myself for extended time. DH feels the same way. And if one of us is home with the other boy, we try to make that time really nice too, although often it involves house work, lol.

 

So in a way, this opportunity compensates for some missed family meals and a generally busy schedule. I wouldn't give up the travel I have done with my sons for all the tea in China.

 

<<<<<Do your kids have enough free time with siblings? >>>>>>

 

Yes, but not tons. There are just two boys still in my home, and they seem to really enjoy their time together. They get along really well.

 

<<<<<they have enough free time for friends?>>>>>>

 

Not much, no. They are too involved in sports to have a lot of time hanging with friends. The tennis player's main source of friends are the kids he trains with. So that time may not seem "free" but it's what he chooses and he enjoys it. His twin doesn't seem to need a lot of "hanging with friends" time. He needs more "hanging out by myself" time.

[Parrothead]

We seemed to have moved into the one activity per day (Monday is the exception with three classes), but usually not more than that. Maybe since there is only one it does not seem so overwhelming. I imagine if I were trying to get multiple kids to multiple activities it might seem as if there were no down time.

[Donna]

Do you ever worry that your kids don't have down time?

I love homeschooling because my dd can have downtime. If she were going to school plus doing what she does with her music, she would have absolutely no time to be a kid. As it is, I build in time. If she is really busy on certain days with extra practicing needed or has performances or late nights due to something, I can ease her work load the next day to make time for her to play.

 

Do your kids ever feel weary because they have no down time? Kind of answered that above. I make down time even if it means a day without schooling. Sometimes she does school on the weekend because a certain weekday was too busy. Many weeks she just schools really hard 4 days a week so she can have her Friday mornings before lessons and orchestra to herself.

 

Do you ever have time for uninterrupted, quality time with your kids, ALONE, REGULARLY?

I have a lot of time with my dd because we spend so much time in the car going to things or often have an hour to kill between this or that. I have to make time for the boys and I do because I think it is important. For example, I learned to play their favorite game on Xbox and spend a little time with them doing that or we might play a game together.

 

Do your kids have enough free time with siblings? My dd is quite a bit younger than the boys and they are teens so they don't really "play" together unless we are playing a board game or something.

 

Do they have enough free time for friends?

Whenever we have a free day, we plan a "play date" for dd with a friend and we also plan get togethers as often as possible with friends who live out of state.

 

Do they have enough time to do things they enjoy (at home) like crafts, playing out in the woods, what have you?

My dd does a lot of the things she likes to do in her free time...crafts, writing her "novel," or I take her to the playground or walk around the park while her brother is at football practice.

 

I think the only one not getting time to do the things they would like to do is me. By the time I have done school and practice and all the driving to things, any "free" time I get has so many chores I need to do that I often feel overwhelmed. I would love to do some scrapbooking or get closets organized or take a bath but that stuff just keeps getting pushed to the side. I just keep telling myself that I will have plenty of time once the kids are grown. :001_smile:

 

 

[DawnM]

Can I ask why they have such a busy schedule? Is it things they are passionate about and love so much that you have decided it is worth it?

 

I ask because we were busier. Much busier. Then, we just stopped. Not everything, just the things I could tell they just didn't care too much if we quit.

 

The money spent not only on the activities but on the gas to get there, plus the time involved, is just not worth it to me if they aren't really interested in it.

 

Dawn

[Joyofsixreboot]

We are very busy. It's not one child's activities, it's the combination. I worry that the younger ones are being cheated a little of time and giving them more time cheats the olders of activities. ~sigh~ My dh is the one who has the most trouble. While I and 6 or the kids are extroverts dh and 15 yo would never leave the house or talk to others unless prompted. Dh is bothered when I'm not here to be his social network:confused:

[momsquared]

We are starting the struggle with this and dd. If she continues to excel and continues to want to play hockey, I am really going to need to look at our life overall. The sport can be fun but also intensely demanding. My dd is very intense and this is her thing, and she would spend every waking moment doing it or watching it if allowed.

 

The good thing is the coach really focuses on academics first which helps. We also have a great "team dad" who organizes social outings for the girls to get together and hang out and have fun outside the rink.

 

I often find myself having to schedule play dates with my kids. :lol: yesterday we went to a museum, played in a park, had great Mexican food. It was fun. I also then really planned for the kids to come home and have downtime. No tv, no electronics for anyone. I read, they played with trains and it was lovely.

 

I know it sounds terrible we have to schedule these things, but our lives our busy. When a kid is really passionate about something you need to teach them balance - I need to teach ME balance some days!

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I sometimes worry that we do nothing! But then I feel a lot less guilty remembering that this is our first year home and that they have been surrounded by 20+ same age peers for the last 5ish years.

Edited October 30, 2011 by amo_mea_filiis
spelling

[lisabees]

do you ever worry that your kids don't have down time?

 

Do your kids ever feel weary because they have no down time?

 

Not really. Two of my kids have more "down time" than the others. But, they are working on projects motivated by their interests/passions. They are 12 and 18. They are also involved in travel sports/clubs about 4/5 times a week.

 

My other two are energizer bunnies. One MUST do something every day all day or, I really believe, it would kill him. Dd8 takes 5 dances classes a week and is in a local production of Annie. She wants more.

 

Do you ever have time for uninterrupted, quality time with your kids, ALONE, REGULARLY?

 

All the time. I am driving them everywhere and where else, but in the car, do you get the scoop? They are stuck with you!! They sure don't open up like that at the dinner table with siblings around! :D We also go out to eat a lot when on the run or staying at a hotel for a tournament. Dh is very good about taking each kid out every month for a special day.

 

Do your kids have enough free time with siblings?

 

My kids don't play together often, but they are older. They are so different. Ds12 and ds18 were working on an online computer programming puzzle for hours yesterday. Ds15 is the athlete and has a catch sometimes with the others. Dd8 is the only girl and she demands attention, whether they want to give it or not. She has a story or a joke or a dance to share. She likes to play games, so she's always convincing one of them to play with her. We always have an ongoing show we watch as a family. We watch it On Demand or Amazon or Netflix because it suits our schedule better. Sometimes we will watch two or three episodes in a row, because we have the time. These are shows like Doctor Who, Merlin, Top Gear, Robin Hood.

 

Do they have enough free time for friends?

 

Ds15 is outside all.of.the.time. with his friends if he is not playing baseball or at one of his clubs. He is friend-obsessed. The others don't need friends as desperately, but hang out with friends at least 4 days a week. When the "old neighborhood" kids come over, all of my kids play with them for hours and hours. This happens every week or two.

 

Do they have enough time to do things they enjoy (at home) like crafts, playing out in the woods, what have you?

 

Yup. Some parts of the year are crazier than others. I don't think my kids feel over-extended at all. They NEVER complain. But...I do. Every few weeks, I have a breakdown, wondering what I was thinking having four kids. I spend a few hours feeling sorry for myself, but I shake it off, because someone needs a ride somewhere and who else is going to do it?

 

 

Struggling....................

 

I am sorry you're struggling. :grouphug:

Edited October 30, 2011 by lisabees

[CalicoKat]

do you ever worry that your kids don't have down time?

 

Do your kids ever feel weary because they have no down time? Used to be worried. But I was commenting to DH last night that ADHD DD and I haven't butted heads this past extremely busy week like usual. I think it's because she's so busy she doesn't have time! :D

 

Our schedule just got the busiest it's ever been. School is daily from 6-Noon (or until finished). And then there's the farm chores & spontaneous Gma time.

 

M - Swim Team,

T - Swim Team,

W - Awana & Swim Team

R - Library story time (the littles), Swim Team

Friday - Co-Op

 

Do you ever have time for uninterrupted, quality time with your kids, ALONE, REGULARLY? Yes, from 6-noon we do our lessons.

 

Do your kids have enough free time with siblings? They're in their bedrooms by 8 p.m. and they play with their roommate until they fall asleep.

 

Do they have enough free time for friends?

Their friends are homeschoolers too and they see them at 4H. Their cousins are close by and their all good friends. They see each other weekly at Sunday lunch at minimum, but we do try to plan for one later evening on Fridays for them all to play outside together at the farm.

 

Do they have enough time to do things they enjoy (at home) like crafts, playing out in the woods, what have you? I plan 4 days of lessons. The day I don't plan is Friday and that's my "catch up" day. IF they've been diligent throughout the week technically they should have no lessons on Fridays. But it usually turns out to be a lighter, shorter day of school and they have the afternoon and evening to play outside in our woods or jump on last year's hay bales. :D This last Friday their PS cousins were off school and the kids played capture the flag & monopoly from 10-3 p.m. They were soooo exhausted!

 

Struggling.................... :grouphug:What makes your kids unhappy, besides their school lessons. Start cutting there. It's probably not their thing and it's OK to stop those lessons even if they're beneficial. If it's something they have to choose. Give them a choice, either _____ or ______ to help you identify which their more passionate about. If they can't choose I usually go with the thought, "What skill/craft will they be able to enjoy at every stage of life? Then we focus on our energy & resources on that.

 

 

:grouphug:

[Jenny in Florida]

do you ever worry that your kids don't have down time?

 

Yes, but long experience has taught me that I have kids who are happier when busy. For example, my daughter has been juggling rehearsals and performances for two shows. The first one had its last performance this weekend, and the other one coincidentally has a week off from rehearsals while some of the folks are out of town. My kid has been dreading this week for days, knowing she'll be bored without places to go and things to do.

 

Honestly, I'm looking forward to the time off, and all I've done is drive her places. But she's not a happy camper.

 

Do your kids ever feel weary because they have no down time?

 

My son does sometimes. But, when faced with the choice between being busy regularly and risking occasional over-busyness versus never being too busy but sometimes not having enough to do, he'll go for the first option every time. Plus, the majority of things that keep him busy are things he enjoys. Mostly, he wishes he had time to do more.

 

Do you ever have time for uninterrupted, quality time with your kids, ALONE, REGULARLY?

 

Yes, but only because we have the freedom to adjust our schedule to make room for it. That, I think, is one of the great gifts of homeschooling.

 

Do your kids have enough free time with siblings?

 

I think my children would tell you they have more than enough of that. Although it's getting better as they get older, my two are not especially compatible.

 

 

Do they have enough free time for friends?

 

I suspect most teens would tell you they never have enough time for friends. But I think we do all right in that regard. Honestly, because my daughter has been mostly out of town for the last four years, she doesn't have many close friends locally. However, she spends a fair amount of time (measured in hours, most days) chatting online or by phone with friends from school. Theatre, the thing that keeps her busy, is also a social activity much of the time. So, although she would like to have more "peeps" in her life, it's not lack of time that is the problem.

 

My son is also a theatre nerd. And he has a close-knit group of three other kids who spend time together regularly. We had them here for a sleep-over last night, in fact. And he, too, chats by text and e-mail with his buddies regularly.

 

Edit - I forgot to mention that one of the things I'm loving about having him on the Lego team is that he gets a chance to play. He's 13 and the youngest of his core group of friends. For them, "play" usually means something like a video game. But my son is still clinging to real kid-type play. We meet with the Lego team from about 11:00 until 4:00 or later, and the kids take a break for lunch and "recess." During that hour, they go to the playground and run around and play tag. The team includes kids from age eight to 13, giving the olders a chance to act like kids for a while. I think it's wonderful.

 

Do they have enough time to do things they enjoy (at home) like crafts, playing out in the woods, what have you?

 

Mine tend to be keeping busy with things they love; it's not mutally exclusive. And some of the things you mention -- hanging out in the yard (we don't have woods), crafts, etc. -- we just incorporate into our school. For example, my son loves to make costumes. So, he's making historically-appropriate clothing for a couple of school projects this year. He loves to tinker with electronics, and he's participating on a Lego robotics team and doing "homework" with the set we have at home. He is also a big reader and finds time for that in the evenings before bed and often in the car travelling from one activity to another.

 

In our case, yes, it works out. I'm tired. I admit that. But I've seen how much of a difference it makes for my kids to make it possible for them to maintain this schedule. They are happier, healthier and more productive when they have opportunities to keep busy. So, I remind myself it's just a season of my life and forge ahead.

Edited October 30, 2011 by Jenny in Florida

[Lolly]

do you ever worry that your kids don't have down time?

Not really. Two of mine are currently in the overly busy category. Swimmers. 9 practices a week. Pool is an hour away from our house.

 

Do your kids ever feel weary because they have no down time?

 

They feel weary, but I'm not sure it is from lack of down time. They are weary because they are working out so hard. If they are feeling overly tired, they take off a practice. If they are really tired, we take off a day of school and just chill.

 

 

Do you ever have time for uninterrupted, quality time with your kids, ALONE, REGULARLY?

 

 

:DOh yes! Plenty of time when I drive them to practice. Before they got their licenses and back when all 4 swam, these were some of my absolute favorite times! We also have all those travel swim meets to be together. (One advantage to refusing team trips.)

 

 

Do your kids have enough free time with siblings?

Yep. It isn't free time, but we are together all morning. The twins are together at swim practice. We tend to hang together a lot during the weekends.

 

 

Do they have enough free time for friends?

 

 

Not so much. Then again, their siblings are their best friends. I happen to think that is all right.:D

 

 

Do they have enough time to do things they enjoy (at home) like crafts, playing out in the woods, what have you?

 

 

It would be nice to have more, but decisions have to be made. Ds decided he had rather have that time at home. The twins decided they just tend to totally waste that time anyway. Given down time, one just stays in bed watching tv. The other does usually spend her down time doing photography and related activities. She seems to get plenty of time for that though. I scheduled it into school and she is getting a credit for it.:D

 

 

Struggling....................

 

I think what makes me okay with their insane schedule is that they know it is their choice. They do NOT have to swim. They can swim, but at a lower level. They WANT to do it. Any time they do whine a little bit about not having free time, I make them take a day of free time. Then, they pout about missing practice. They don't tend to whine about it much any more. They realize it is a choice they are making.

Edited October 30, 2011 by Lolly

[Jan in SC]

My dc are still younger (upper elementary), but I would say we are busy. My youngest, at 9, has the least activities. He plays tennis two or three times a week and is currently in a youth play. My middle son, 10, plays baseball. He dropped all other sports for this. His team practices six days a week and he has never taken the seventh day to rest. He wants to start golf after Christmas. Some days he will work with a coach in the morning for an hour or so and then have a three hour practice that night. He does not like his day off, at all.

My oldest son is the official busiest. He really loves theatre and takes both acting, musical, and dance classes. He also sings in a choir that rehearses several hours a week. If he is in a show, it gets a little crazy. I let him decide the classes, though, as I assume it might be a fleeting hobby and he has never liked anything other than video games in the past.

 

My children do get some free time. I usually let them play for an hour or two in the morning before starting school. I do end up with them individually due to schedules. I don't know if they think they get enough time with friends, or not. They enjoy their friends from sports/ activities, but they never ask to do more with them. They have a great group of homeschool friends that they really like and they do ask do to more with them, but most of them are busy, too.

If we have a rare night off, and truthfully, any time everyone is finished by 7:00 I count it, we will grill out and play rock band, or order pizza and watch a movie or a football game.

My dh and I do stay on the road, but we both agreed to let the boys have this time to explore activities and try to travel and take them places when we have some free time. We each are able to get away every once in a while for a tennis match(him) or a girls night out.

[Tigger]

do you ever worry that your kids don't have down time?

 

Even with his fairly packed schedule, DS has more downtime than his playmates who go to school. I'd say he is able to do the schedule he does because he doesn't have to be in school and riding the bus nine hours a day!

 

Do your kids ever feel weary because they have no down time?

No because he has lots of downtime.

 

Usually we do school in the morning and are done by lunch, then DS has downtime until late afternoon. With the exception of Wednesday, he has no more than one outside activity each day M-F....on Wed he has a packed day, but we do a lighter day for homeschool seat work (he has art, swim and piano outside the house). We plan for time to play with friends (since we live in an area without a bunch of kids) and often use afternoons before activities to meet with other families with kids, both homeschool and those who go to school once they're home.

 

Do you ever have time for uninterrupted, quality time with your kids, ALONE, REGULARLY?

Not as much as I'd like, but a good amount.

 

Do your kids have enough free time with siblings?

The age difference between them means they don't really play together or do things together, but they do have lots of time together!

 

Do they have enough free time for friends?

Yes!

 

Do they have enough time to do things they enjoy (at home) like crafts, playing out in the woods, what have you?

Absolutely! It's one of the best things about homeschooling IMO! Edited October 30, 2011 by Tigger

[Bang!Zoom!]

I generally am pretty quiet about how much work is done because I get that line about "give her downtime"-so I just avoid talking about it.

 

I'm older than most of the moms around here, and I've seen firsthand kids through my life with NO downtime, so what that terms means to me is probably not what it means to most.

 

This is almost a taboo subject in some ways for me; it puts a parent in a corner to defend and justify what and how they schedule time for their kids.

 

We carry a heavier schedule than most but it's still there and a good balance for this individual child and her personality. It all gets fit in.

 

Even the moms and families I knew/know with super heavy schedules I'd never ask that question. Totally none of my business.

[MariannNOVA]

do you ever worry that your kids don't have down time? It all seems to balance out -- I think that the fact that we homeschool gives us down time at different times of the day and week than kids who attend traditional school, kwim. We are sort of lolly gagging around most mornings at 9am instead of madly dashing to the car to get to school on time.

 

Do your kids ever feel weary because they have no down time? See above answer.;) I will say that when we have stretches of 'running around' I am the one who feels weary.

 

Do you ever have time for uninterrupted, quality time with your kids, ALONE, REGULARLY? Yes - I would say that dh and I do. Without any cable or satellite or FIOS television service, our evenings after cleaning up from dinner (in the Fall and Winter) have taken on a different look compared to when we did have tv.

 

Do your kids have enough free time with siblings? Yes - they are (when we are at home) each other's playmates.

 

Do they have enough free time for friends? Yes -- and I say that with the qualifier that their friends have very busy schedules, but we all seem to manage.

 

Do they have enough time to do things they enjoy (at home) like crafts, playing out in the woods, what have you? Yes -- I think so.

 

Struggling....................

 

Hi, Denise -- Let me add that this past summer was like a perpetual Mr. Toad's Wild Ride around here with all the things the kids and their friends had planned and our taking total advantage of the increased hours of daylight. I made it clear to my three that when school started up again, things would be much less hectic -- and, for the most part, things are. That being said, I have had to resort to written lesson plans to make sure that we are getting things accomplished academically (for the twins that is -- dd12 is in CC-Challenge B and that has been a blessing).

 

The entire juggling act is a process - take it one step at a time. There will be days when we can hardly catch our breath, and then three or four days when we sit here and do school work and we can listen to the paint dry on the walls.;)

[sassenach]

Our schedule:

M: Swim, volleyball

T: Co-op, park day, ballet, volleyball

W: Swim

TH: Swim, volleyball, youth group, park day

Fri: Swim, small group

Sat: occasional swim meet

Sun: Church

 

do you ever worry that your kids don't have down time?

 

 

Do your kids ever feel weary because they have no down time?

My 2 youngest are my homeschoolers. They get plenty of down time during the day. My oldest is the volleyballer and she goes to a private high school. Sometimes she sits out a practice to balance it all. Vball season is over next week, so pretty soon I think she is going to be terribly bored.

Do you ever have time for uninterrupted, quality time with your kids, ALONE, REGULARLY?

With the exception of Tuesday, the younger kids and I have from wake-up to at least noon, but often 2 or 3pm together. I have been feeling the squeeze with my oldest lately, but as I said, vball is almost done. We have swim meets once every 5-6 weeks, but otherwise our Saturdays are completely unscheduled. That's important.

 

Do your kids have enough free time with siblings? Yes, they have morning and evening. It's just our afternoons that don't have much wiggle.

Do they have enough free time for friends? I think so. The oldest seems to be satisfied with what she gets in school. The younger 2 always want more. Their main social outlets are co-op, park days, church, and time playing with neighbor kids (which mostly amounts to weekends and maybe one weekday evening a week). Swim and ballet are too structured to be true friend time, although friendships are definitely being built there.

Do they have enough time to do things they enjoy (at home) like crafts, playing out in the woods, what have you?

 

Yes, I think they do. If I minus out Tuesday, which is a beast of a day, they generally have at least 9 waking hours at home.

 

Struggling....................

 

What blows me away is all of the kids that my kids do their activities with. These are kids who go to school for 6-7 hours, are home for an hour and then (in the case of swim) are at the pool for an hour and a half. My son's group (9-11yos) swims from 3:45-5:15. So what, the parents get maybe 2 1/2 hours to feed, bathe and do homework with their kids. Then off to bed! How do you even know what's happening in their hearts and minds when life is like that. I feel like that is the type of schedule we're running with my teen right now, but it's only for a short season. She's pretty chatty, too. I get a play by play of her school day every evening. Still, I couldn't do this all the time.

 

I'm sorry you're struggling. Do you have regular hours when you're home? Are your activities bleeding into your school day?

 

I just thought of something else. My dh is regularly home during the day when we are home. That might help us to feel the squeeze a little less. hmm.

[Tammyla]

Are you asking for coping strategies, sympathy or a general validation that it will be okay?

 

do you ever worry that your kids don't have down time?

 

Do your kids ever feel weary because they have no down time?

 

Do you ever have time for uninterrupted, quality time with your kids, ALONE, REGULARLY?

 

Do your kids have enough free time with siblings?

 

Do they have enough free time for friends?

 

Do they have enough time to do things they enjoy (at home) like crafts, playing out in the woods, what have you?

 

Struggling....................

[Desert Rat]

My kids have active schedules. We do taekwondo 3 nights a week, soccer practice once a week and soccer games on Saturdays. Archery every other Friday. Pokemon club every Saturday. Math tutor on Mondays.

I work 4 afternoons a week.

So, while I'm working they have down time at their grandparents. I school in the mornings. We have fun on Fridays while I'm cleaning and we all go grocery shopping. Every morning we start our day cuddling and hanging out with a read aloud for 45 minutes.

Maybe our schedule isn't as busy as most. We try to make sports family activities. We all go to TKD. We all go to soccer practice for my 8yo. My 11yo kicks the ball around with Dad or plays with friends.

My life is very hectic. I personally don't get enough down time. But my kids do and this is only temporary. They enjoy all their activities and I don't want to get rid of any. I just stay up later and get up earlier to get it all done.

[momsquared]

Our schedule:

M: Swim, volleyball

T: Co-op, park day, ballet, volleyball

W: Swim

TH: Swim, volleyball, youth group, park day

Fri: Swim, small group

Sat: occasional swim meet

Sun: Church

 

 

 

What blows me away is all of the kids that my kids do their activities with. These are kids who go to school for 6-7 hours, are home for an hour and then (in the case of swim) are at the pool for an hour and a half. My son's group (9-11yos) swims from 3:45-5:15. So what, the parents get maybe 2 1/2 hours to feed, bathe and do homework with their kids. Then off to bed! How do you even know what's happening in their hearts and minds when life is like that. I feel like that is the type of schedule we're running with my teen right now, but it's only for a short season. She's pretty chatty, too. I get a play by play of her school day every evening. Still, I couldn't do this all the time.

 

I'm sorry you're struggling. Do you have regular hours when you're home? Are your activities bleeding into your school day?

 

I just thought of something else. My dh is regularly home during the day when we are home. That might help us to feel the squeeze a little less. hmm.

 

 

From the outside you could argue our day looks like that because dd goes to school. But we all eat dinner as a family. We talk a lot while driving. The weekends are really dedicated to my family. I am home by 4 during the week so all homework is done in time for family dinner and then off to activities or it's flopped depending on the time of the activity. I know I am very in tune with whe my kids are at. So much so that I fit in afterschooling to supplement her current school work. I think it requires a commitment and a schedule, but does not have to mean everyone is disconnected.

[plansrme]

My 3 kids, between them, have 18 scheduled extra-curricular events per week, not counting church. I have a competitive gymnast, a competitive swimmer and an 8 year old. Until this year, the older two also took 4 and 2 dance classes per week, respectively.

 

Yes, we give up some things, but they have the rest of their lives to [insert academic or other activity of your choice here]. Their gym and swim careers will come to and end, at the latest, after college. If they do not pursue gym and swim now, there is no later. Making time for it all is one of the reasons we homeschool.

 

Besides, competitive gymnasts and swimmers don't have time for boys and silly teenage girl stuff. Bonus!

 

Terri

[scrapbookbuzz]

I know it sounds terrible we have to schedule these things, but our lives our busy. When a kid is really passionate about something you need to teach them balance - I need to teach ME balance some days!

 

I don't think it sounds "terrible" at all. Scheduling something seems to make it more of a commitment (to many people, not all) and if that's what helps you, then so be it!

 

Our time with our children is SHORT (despite those days when it seems

r-e-a-l-l-y long! :tongue_smilie:). So, enjoy every moment you can, even if it requires you putting the time to paper so that you remember to do so! ;)

[LibraryLover]

I’ve edited and read this several times and I can't get the tone right. Maybe more coffee. I apologize in advance. I'll say it with some degree of gratitude: I was *not* a Tiger Mom. The hope of Yale never drove my parenting. (Not being critical of her, just saying up front that my goals were different.)

No to your first 2 questions, yes to the others. Hsing allows for that. Each of my children has a particular activity they love to do, so at this point in time, we are on the road frequently for lessons and performances. However, we usually have until late afternoon to ourselves. Unless we have field trips...lol... this week was *crazy * for that, although for my youngest, some of that was pure 'playtime' and joy with her hsing friends. Those trips are harder on me than it is on them. Also, when we attend performances, we most always attend as a family. We dislike very much when two children have performances etc at the same time. It breaks up the family, but that is life and they are growing up.

Time spins out of control and little children turn into adults. I never wanted to rush that time together. I have a little sister, and I think I was more sensitive to this than some...it seemed she grew in the blink of my eye. I knew when I had my first how quickly it would go. I am happy to not have too many regrets (I have some). So do we do 'school'? Does it get done? Absolutely. Does it always appear traditional? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. For my oldest hser, it all looks pretty traditional at this point. Admittedly, she is not at Yale.

I said no a lot. I still try to say no, although that is much, much, much more difficult with older children who need to have work and time beyond family. I am not against children going out into the world and doing their own thing. I welcome it. I love their excitement and their stories. My oldest is 'out in the world' and it's a little scary...lol but risking him to the world was my job from the beginning.

Edited November 1, 2011 by LibraryLover

[silliness7]

do you ever worry that your kids don't have down time?

 

Do your kids ever feel weary because they have no down time?

 

Do you ever have time for uninterrupted, quality time with your kids, ALONE, REGULARLY?

 

Do your kids have enough free time with siblings?

 

Do they have enough free time for friends?

 

Do they have enough time to do things they enjoy (at home) like crafts, playing out in the woods, what have you?

 

Struggling....................

 

We experienced this struggle for the first time this year. But it was only the 9th grader and it was only for 3 months. It got brutal though in the midst of it. We all had to remind ourselves that it was temporary. And it was a good experience, widened his world and helped him mature and develop in ways he couldn't have without it. And though it was tough I thought it was age appropriate. I wouldn't want my younger children to go through a period like that. And so far, they haven't.

[angela in ohio]

We are incredibly active, but I don't worry about those things too much. You know the saying, "If you want something done, give it to the busiest person you know"? I think that applies. The dc I know, mine included, who are the most active, also happen to be the ones with the most productive free time and quality family time.

 

When my dc were little, I made sure they had a LOT of free, unstructured play time. As they get older, it looks different. They want to spend their free time on more organized activities, and often with other people. I still make sure they have time to think and chill out, but they don't need the free time they did when they were young. The things they enjoy *are* the things we are busy doing, I guess.

 

Like others have said, homeschooling gives us time to do all the extras, plus have surplus time because their education is more efficient.

[swellmomma]

My kids have very busy schedules but they still have lots of down time. Our school days are more relaxed than most here because of the kids disabilities so that helps.

 

Right now the schedule included 2 different 4H clubs, girl guides, scouts/cubs(and I am a leader at this), kids church/youth group, and next week ski club starts up. Plus appts/therapies for both boys, through out the week.

 

The kids still have time to have freeplay alone, with each other and with friends. We still do crafts/special activities. Sometimes i have to actuall schedule them but we try to do at least 1 per week. They still have down time to just read, or play video games or veg.

 

We have gone through seasons of the schedule being busier, and seasons of it being lighter. We love the busyness but do have to work on keeping the balance so that we don't all burn out from it. That means evaluating with each season change what else is going on, what other things are pressing etc. Our schedule would have more activities this year if ds8 didn't have a cast. He could do indoor soccer or gymnastics because of it, so that dropped 2 things off the list. Who know what spring will bring. :)

[higginszoo]

We make a conscious effort constantly to keep outside involvement down to a minimum, but it is a constant battle and means that sometimes we have to let some awesome opportunities slip by because we just can't do it all.

 

Still, there are times when we fall across a rare, unscheduled day when we don't have to leave the house, and the kids cheer because they're at least as tired as I am, and don't want to go anywhere, either.

 

Part of striking our balance sometimes means paring down school subjects as well, to streamline the time spent there and give them some more free time. No formal music lessons, logic just once, grammar every few years, not every year, spelling only for the child who really needs it, Latin only in place of a foreign language if the children choose it. TWTM is a wonderful ideal, SWB has lots of great ideas to glean, but for us, it just wouldn't work as written.

 

I think of what ZooRho's ds wrote to her about having time to play and explore and that that's what he remembers. Not the activities she signed him up for or the Chemistry classes I remember her talking about him going to back when he was in high school, but the time to play. I use stories like that to help me keep my perspective and give me the resolve to say No, even though fencing or sailing or a Friday co-op look like they'd be really cool. They'd cut into that important down time, too much.

[2squared]

Part of striking our balance sometimes means paring down school subjects as well, to streamline the time spent there and give them some more free time. No formal music lessons, logic just once, grammar every few years, not every year, spelling only for the child who really needs it, Latin only in place of a foreign language if the children choose it. TWTM is a wonderful ideal, SWB has lots of great ideas to glean, but for us, it just wouldn't work as written.

 

I think of what ZooRho's ds wrote to her about having time to play and explore and that that's what he remembers. Not the activities she signed him up for or the Chemistry classes I remember her talking about him going to back when he was in high school, but the time to play. I use stories like that to help me keep my perspective and give me the resolve to say No, even though fencing or sailing or a Friday co-op look like they'd be really cool. They'd cut into that important down time, too much.

 

I :001_wub: this post. This is where I am strive to be, but it is tough. There are so many great things out in the world competing for our downtime.

[catz]

do you ever worry that your kids don't have down time?

No. Although we wouldn't attempt this schedule if my kids were in all day school. We go in spurts on activities and honestly, we tend to use our time better with a little more structure in our lives. Our August was very quiet and we were going nuts by the end of that month. I also try very hard to keep our mornings open for school and music practice. Monday is our only day when we're out of the house in the morning. And the kids are actually doing school work at the library when the other is in their Spanish Class (they're not in the same class).

 

I will also say, for us, if it comes to a choice of doing more academics, having down time, or doing an out of the house activity the kids want to do, many times academics will come last. And I know it's not a good board to mention this. Both my kids test years ahead of grade level and I think many of the aspects of their extras will serve them better than spending more time on Algebra at age 10 when we're in no hurry to send them off to college. My oldest has said verbally he does not want to go to college early even though he is more than capable of doing so. I feel part of my job is keeping my kids engaged and challenged at SOMETHING until they are college ready in all ways (socially, mentally, maturity, and academically).

 

Our schedule right now is

Mon - Spanish, homeschool play group, theater practice for son, dance for daughter

Tues - Theater practice

Wed - swimming lessons (starting next week), circus classes

Thursday - music lessons (requires 6 days a week practice), circus classes, acro class for daughter

Friday - Open with the occasional evening activity or field trip (we do belong to another homeschool group that meets that day).

Saturday - daughter has violin group and dance

Sunday - church.

 

My daughter is also participating in a show with dance that just started weekend rehearsals this weekend. She's at a 3 hour rehearsal right now. My son's theater practice is for a show that is on stage early December so that's only a 6 week commitment. My daughter's show will finish first days of March. Anyway - I find it almost embarassing to write that out right now. Absolutely ridiculous. Things will greatly improve once my son finishes this holiday stage production.

Do your kids ever feel weary because they have no down time? My kids are high energy and the outlets are generally good for them. They don't seem weary. They enjoy their home/down time. But they also look forward to their extras out of the house.

 

Do you ever have time for uninterrupted, quality time with your kids, ALONE, REGULARLY?

Yes - sometimes too much. :D

 

Do your kids have enough free time with siblings?

Yes - sometimes too much. :D

Do they have enough free time for friends?

I do think they could use more unstructured time with friends. But so few of their friends have that time available either on a regular basis sadly.They do play with friends in the neighborhood on the weekends pretty regularly on a spontaneous basis.

 

Do they have enough time to do things they enjoy ( at home) like crafts, playing out in the woods, what have you?

Yes - sometimes I wish for more of this kind of thing, but we do go in spurts.

 

Struggling....................

 

Sorry you're struggling. Hope you can find yourself some balance.

[Denisemomof4]

I read all these responses before we lost power, and I've been thinking about this non-stop for days now. While I've come to no conclusion yet, a few things some of you mentioned really struck me.

 

First of all, the time to have quiet time at home, down time, time to explore, time to play. We moved to the country to have a peaceful and quiet life. I never wanted a kid who was over involved in ANYTHING. I have had a very manageable schedule until this year. This year has been TOUGH, TOUGH, TOUGH and I am truly struggling to keep up with everything.

 

One personal conviction I have is that my dh works so hard for us, and I think he deserves to come home to a clean home and a cooked meal. Dh does a LOT of cooking, and he LOVES to, but I haven't really had time to cook much, the house isn't being kept as I normally do, I'm harried and stressed, etc. It's not fair to HIM, and he's the one thinking that something NEEDS to go no matter what. If we can't have a clean, uncluttered home, something has got to go. I can't function if our house isn't acceptable.

 

Throw into that the fact that my dd has health issues that spark up out of nowhere and last for months, then disappear for three years. Then they come back, then disappear for another three years. Here we are, third cycle, three years out, and once again we need to get to try to get answers. I saw my 10th doctor and 7th specialist on Friday. She was WONDERFUL and wants dd to see the triple board certified dr. I mentioned in a post. He's a pediatric neurologist, metabolic specialist, and ICO doc. Anyway, Last week alone we drove 1.5 hours away to a special neurologist (the one who commented on my boots):lol: Because we hadn't seen the pulomonoligist yet who recommended the triple board certified doc. Friday she saw a pulmonologist, I had my mammogram Thursday (and was at least a little worried to see SO MUCH bright white on the screen shot. I knew it wasn't normal) So all these extra appts. are killing me and there's no end in sight. The pulmonologist wants to do an exercise stress test and a sleep study. Many of her appts. will be at a special hospital an hour and a half away. The pediatrician wants her to see an endocrinologist. Oh, make that four appts. last week, the pediatrician. Shoot! And I had my hair dyed and cut on Monday! GEEZ, I never even realized that we squeezed so much into one week until this moment I'm typing it all out. So now I can COMPLETELY understand why I was so frazzled. we had an appt. every single day last week AND an activity every single day and I was so frazzled that I didn't even realize it until just now.

 

The part that's bothering me the most is my dd. She recently commented on how she didn't realize I knew how to crochet and she asked me to show her how to. I asked her when we could do it. There's NO time. Then she told me she really wanted to stay home from the swim clinic on Sunday. I told her that if she's committed to doing synchro and she wants to place well, the clinic wasn't optional. It would help her. She cried because she said she never has any time EVER to just play and have fun. Which made me cry, partially because I was so tired, and partially because I agree with her! The storm came and she has spent two days outside eating the snow and playing in it, laughing, screaming, sledding, only coming in to feed herself. It was WONDERFUL juts watching her be a KID. That time will be ending soon as she will be 12 next week. If the clinic had taken place, the snow would have been gone by the time she had some time to be home and play in it. It's going to be in the 50's all week.

 

I took to heart the poster who said that their child's sports/gym career is over after college. That also hit me like a ton of bricks. Dd LOVES her synchro swim. But it's really the only thing we can drop right now. But that comment really struck me, and I've taken it to heart.

 

I'm just so tired of flip-flopping. This decision is SO HARD to make!

 

Many of you with busy schedules do ok because you start your activities in the LATE afternoon. I could be FINE with that! What's throwing me over the edge is the timing of our activities. We have to get our school and lunch done by 1:45 on Monday, dd volunteers with the elderly, then I pick her up and we head out to swim, getting home at 8:00 - 8:30 IF we don't have to stop at the store on the way home. Tuesdays we have to be done by noon. We then have a FABULOUS co-op that is absolutely worth the time, effort and money, and I usually can't say that. Dd11 has hated history until this year. We're studying the ancients and then on Tuesdays she spends the afternoon with enrichment. The co-op is studying the same material. It is a HUGE blessing and we will not be getting rid of this. Our Wednesdays are crazy. Every other Wed. we're out the door by 10, only doing the basics, and are home around 4:00. Opposite Wed. we have to be done by 12:45. Thursday we don't leave for swim until 4:00, and most Fridays we have a monthly social with this one, another with that one, the girls have their friends over together on another one...... we have one uninterrupted Friday per month. These social days are VERY important and we won't be dropping them.

 

We're starting to settle down on the weekends. We had many family days away recently, and we're all just needing to have time at home, so that may also help us not feel so over loaded.

 

We aren't truly happy with the Wed. co-op but that's the one both my girls go to, all their friends are there. I can't drop that one, either, because dd8 does online schooling so she doesn't go to the other enrichment co-op because she's studying totally different material. Also, she needs a quiet and uncluttered life even more than I do, and I'm not going to pull her from the group where all her friends are. Her two closest friends have schedules that conflict with ours, so we rarely see them outside the co-op.

 

Dd11 has a special gift with the elderly. Since she was 5 she had a tender heart for them. She's made it clear that she will drop anything other than volunteering. I see her heart. I know how much being at the retirement home means to her. And it's only 5 minutes down the road to boot.:tongue_smilie: That will NOT be going away. I've considered having her volunteer on the weekends, but I hate the idea of being committed to anything on the weekend.

 

So that's my quandary. I've cried many tears over this, due to exhaustion, and because I know dd wants some time to just be a KID. I *still* can't decide what's right. The only thing I'd be willing to compromise on would be the swim. She LOVES the history enrichment (and is LOVING history!!!!), volunteering is non-negotiable, and Wednesday is for her sister as much as it is for her, and I won't be taking her sister's outlet away from her.

 

But she LOVES synchro and is good at it. I LOVE watching her and it's only two evenings per week. Our schedule is ok IF no wrenches are thrown into it (think sickness, appts, power outages, animal emergency - which HAPPENS) but life doesn't work like that. She's got many more tests and appts coming up, and that's why dh thinks we need to let swim go for now.

 

As all of you know, though, a year out of synchro can very well set her behind, where right now, she always does SO well.

 

AAAARRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!

 

If you're with me still, bless you for reading all of this!

[Denisemomof4]

holy cow. I tried so hard not to make that long.

 

Sorry.

[LibraryLover]

holy cow. I tried so hard not to make that long.

 

Sorry.

 

 

:) It was fine. I do that all of the time. Further, my typos are hideous, so my posts are harder to read!

 

I totally understand what you are saying.

Edited November 1, 2011 by LibraryLover

[shanvan]

First of all, the time to have quiet time at home, down time, time to explore, time to play. We moved to the country to have a peaceful and quiet life. I never wanted a kid who was over involved in ANYTHING. I have had a very manageable schedule until this year. This year has been TOUGH, TOUGH, TOUGH and I am truly struggling to keep up with everything.

 

 

I had to cut down your quote in order to make my post smaller. I haven't read all of the posts and would like to read the entire thread more carefully, but I just had to respond. I read everything you typed above and I just have to let you know I am in the same position you are in and struggling with it everyday. This is the first year ever that we are behind in our schoolwork. I can hardly blame the kids because our life has been so hectic lately that there just really isn't the time required.

 

They are getting all kinds of extra lessons (horseback riding and dog showing and agility plus dog grooming lessons) and attention from their 4H leaders and local dog breeders and horse trainers, besides their weekly riding lessons and dog club meetings. Then they also have the actual horse shows and dog shows that take up some of our weekends. I hate for them to miss out on these things, and after all that's part of the reason we homeschool--so the education can be in unusual subjects of interest. But still we have no down time and I even have trouble finding time to prepare lessons. (Yes, I actually teach some things and even the things I assign are carefully chosen and often not exactly according to the directions in a book, so they require my thought and planning.)

 

Like your Dd they also volunteer (therapeutic riding). Then they have piano and they are working some weeks taking care of a friend's horses while she is away. Her farm is about 20 mins away. Add in the time it takes to feed and clean up after them and we are gone for a good 2-3 hours of the day and just before dinner too.

 

Last week (and most weeks since Sept) we had at least 2-3 things to do every single day except Sunday. And most of them require us to leave the house by 1:30 or earlier. With all of my sleep issues I have a hard time getting school done by then. And, I end up having to clean up the mess from the day before or I won't be able to focus.

 

In our case, I am the one with the health issues and doctor's visits and the pain and exhaustion that makes even a normal life difficult and makes the life we have been living recently downright scary. I'm afraid I'm headed for a flare up and when it happens I can only blame myself for allowing the schedule to get so crazy.

 

I am also frustrated by the lack of time to enjoy quiet pursuits at home--like crocheting, baking, sewing, drawing etc. My husband is a landscape painter whose paintings have been shown in several galleries up and down the east coast; yet he and I never seem to have time to sit down and enjoy drawing or painting with dc. It just seems so wrong. But then in order to fit in the time they would have to give up one of their other pursuits. I just don't know the answer.

 

I share your frustration about the housekeeping too. Today I was absolutely disgusted at the state of my upstairs storage room and basement. I was looking for a grammar poster we made last year so I could review with Dc. Well, I didn't find it. What I did find were piles upon piles of books and papers that need filing. These areas require so much attention that I can't even imagine how I will get them cleaned and organized.

 

Anyway, I don't really have answers for you, but I am ready to cry right along with you. I am having fantasies about locking the front door and telling everyone I know that we will not be leaving the house until spring!

 

[Lolly]

I read all these responses before we lost power, and I've been thinking about this non-stop for days now. While I've come to no conclusion yet, a few things some of you mentioned really struck me.

 

First of all, the time to have quiet time at home, down time, time to explore, time to play. We moved to the country to have a peaceful and quiet life. I never wanted a kid who was over involved in ANYTHING. I have had a very manageable schedule until this year. This year has been TOUGH, TOUGH, TOUGH and I am truly struggling to keep up with everything.

 

One personal conviction I have is that my dh works so hard for us, and I think he deserves to come home to a clean home and a cooked meal. Dh does a LOT of cooking, and he LOVES to, but I haven't really had time to cook much, the house isn't being kept as I normally do, I'm harried and stressed, etc. It's not fair to HIM, and he's the one thinking that something NEEDS to go no matter what. If we can't have a clean, uncluttered home, something has got to go. I can't function if our house isn't acceptable.

 

Throw into that the fact that my dd has health issues that spark up out of nowhere and last for months, then disappear for three years. Then they come back, then disappear for another three years. Here we are, third cycle, three years out, and once again we need to get to try to get answers. I saw my 10th doctor and 7th specialist on Friday. She was WONDERFUL and wants dd to see the triple board certified dr. I mentioned in a post. He's a pediatric neurologist, metabolic specialist, and ICO doc. Anyway, Last week alone we drove 1.5 hours away to a special neurologist (the one who commented on my boots):lol: Because we hadn't seen the pulomonoligist yet who recommended the triple board certified doc. Friday she saw a pulmonologist, I had my mammogram Thursday (and was at least a little worried to see SO MUCH bright white on the screen shot. I knew it wasn't normal) So all these extra appts. are killing me and there's no end in sight. The pulmonologist wants to do an exercise stress test and a sleep study. Many of her appts. will be at a special hospital an hour and a half away. The pediatrician wants her to see an endocrinologist. Oh, make that four appts. last week, the pediatrician. Shoot! And I had my hair dyed and cut on Monday! GEEZ, I never even realized that we squeezed so much into one week until this moment I'm typing it all out. So now I can COMPLETELY understand why I was so frazzled. we had an appt. every single day last week AND an activity every single day and I was so frazzled that I didn't even realize it until just now.

 

The part that's bothering me the most is my dd. She recently commented on how she didn't realize I knew how to crochet and she asked me to show her how to. I asked her when we could do it. There's NO time. Then she told me she really wanted to stay home from the swim clinic on Sunday. I told her that if she's committed to doing synchro and she wants to place well, the clinic wasn't optional. It would help her. She cried because she said she never has any time EVER to just play and have fun. Which made me cry, partially because I was so tired, and partially because I agree with her! The storm came and she has spent two days outside eating the snow and playing in it, laughing, screaming, sledding, only coming in to feed herself. It was WONDERFUL juts watching her be a KID. That time will be ending soon as she will be 12 next week. If the clinic had taken place, the snow would have been gone by the time she had some time to be home and play in it. It's going to be in the 50's all week.

 

I took to heart the poster who said that their child's sports/gym career is over after college. That also hit me like a ton of bricks. Dd LOVES her synchro swim. But it's really the only thing we can drop right now. But that comment really struck me, and I've taken it to heart.

 

I'm just so tired of flip-flopping. This decision is SO HARD to make!

 

As all of you know, though, a year out of synchro can very well set her behind, where right now, she always does SO well.

 

AAAARRRRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!!

 

If you're with me still, bless you for reading all of this!

 

Right there. The red. It's time to stop or pull back. So, she's good at synchro. I know if she takes a year out she will get behind. I have competitive athletes; I know. BUT, so what if she is set back. Does it REALLY matter? Does she have to be competitive. It is okay to swim and do it for fun. All of that is IF she wants to return to it. She may prefer to have the down time. It is definitely worth it to take off some time and find out. Or, does she really have to go to all the clinics? What would happen if she didn't place as well?

 

My kids swim. We have taken time out a few times. A month to travel once when they were 8. 10,12. Then, at 11, 13, 15; we down graded to a less competitive team for a short course season, and then took off completely through long course. After that year, we returned to the top notch team. The kids all quickly pulled back up to where they had been before. The down time showed them that they wanted to be there (2) and that they didn't(2). The two who didn't no longer swim. The other two are still at it.

[Donna]

Then she told me she really wanted to stay home from the swim clinic on Sunday. I told her that if she's committed to doing synchro and she wants to place well, the clinic wasn't optional. It would help her. She cried because she said she never has any time EVER to just play and have fun. Which made me cry, partially because I was so tired, and partially because I agree with her! The storm came and she has spent two days outside eating the snow and playing in it, laughing, screaming, sledding, only coming in to feed herself. It was WONDERFUL juts watching her be a KID. That time will be ending soon as she will be 12 next week. If the clinic had taken place, the snow would have been gone by the time she had some time to be home and play in it. It's going to be in the 50's all week.

 

I also cut your quote a bit to make mine less cumbersome. This part really struck me though so I wanted to comment.

 

I think if your dd is asking ("crying") for a break, then she needs it. I don't think she has to give up synchro completely but not taking one clinic is probably not going to set her back too far and the break may actually make her less stressed and able to do better. Occasionally my wrestling ds will take a week off and when he goes back, he has more energy and seems to grow a bit with his wrestling.

 

My dd's time is filled with music. Many hours every day are set aside for practice then there are lessons 2-3 days a week, orchestra once a week (last year it was two orchestras so took 2 days a week but we cut back this year), trips to NY for fiddle lessons that take up at least 6 hours of a day due to distances driven, sessions a couple times, performances anywhere from 2-6 per month depending, and extra concerts and workshops and camps that involve travel. Nothing is close to us so driving time is crazy...I put so many miles on a car. Right now it is her passion and she loves it all.

 

I always ask dd if she wants to do things...performances, sessions, workshops, going to see performances/concerts, etc... because I want it to be driven by her desires. If she ever tells me she needs a break, we take it. We figure out a way to make practice not take as long or don't do a workshop or whatever. It isn't often that she tells me this so I take it seriously when she does. How much does she really get out of a workshop or clinic? It isn't going to make or break her if she misses some opportunity and one day of not practicing something also isn't going to really cause a problem either.

 

The way I try to make the music not too tiring for her is to make those times when things are slower more fun and relaxing. It might just be one night at home but we do something fun like play a family game or I let her take a bath or whatever. I also make sure she has at least an hour on our days at home to do whatever she wants and our weekend days home which are very rare, the only thing she does regularly is practice. We spend our drives talking or singing together or something that makes them feel like a break for her.

[swellmomma]

Given the health concerns and your dd asking to skip out on something she loves, for just the one clinic I think cutting back on synchro would be beneficial. Don't drop the team, still go to the twice a week practices but no extra clinics etc for a while. You also said that she gets these flares of health issues for a few months and then they are gone again for years. So that would mean once she is well again the appts would stop for years again? If that is the case you could approach this as a season of being busy busy and after this is will lighten up. If you think of it that way you may find you are not feeling as crazy. I often tell myself things like "It's only 12 weeks, you can do anything for 12 weeks" etc when I am feeling overburdened.

 

Our appts right now some are 20 minutes away, some are 2 hours away. They are always mid day, usually for 11am. So the days they are 20 minutes away we have to leave by 1030am, the days they are 2 hours away we have to leave by 9 am. Each of the 20 minute appts take 1 hour typically, the 2 hours away ones take several hours themselves and then back home. Once ds's cast is off we will have less of the 2hour away ones, but more of the 20 minute away and then new ones 1 hour away will start. These eat up much of our daytime hours. Yes their sports/clubs are in the evenings BUT dd's girl guide leader is also a homeschooler and like to take teh girls on early dismissal days and non-school days so that is another 1.5 days a month with her out of the house, AND the lleader plans extra activities for addition evenings 1-2 weeks of the month for them to do special things outside of normal meetings. 4H has special events on weekends, plus guide and scout camps. Add in visitation with their father. And like I said ski club is starting up on Sundays. I completely understand where you are coming from when it comes to appts and such during the day plus the extra curriculars. We are not in any groups this year that do activities during the day, but of course any fieldtrips we want have to take place during the day.

 

I can only see to options for this particular season of your life. Either accept and embrace teh busyness knowing that it will come to an end, sports seasons and clubs will end for the year, her health will improve etc and plan to have a lazy late spring/summer. OR reduce the extras, starting with the bonus activities in synchro, etc. That said given her health issues what I would do if she was my daughter is drop everything that isn't related to her academics. Yes she loves synchro and yes she loves volunteering, but if her health gets worse because of over taxing herself she will not be able to do those things any longer anyway. Better to step away for a while, deal with the health concerns and return when she is better. He volunteer work will always be there for her, they will always wlecome her but for now it needs to be put aside imo. The same for synchro, she may be behind, but better to be 1 season behind than have to give it up entirely because her health has crashed so much. That's just me though. You know your daughter best, but if I were in your shoes that it what I would do.

[Leav97]

 

• During the school year DD has Co-op every other week.
  
• She swims 3 times a week all year long. She has 3 weekend swim meets scheduled for this year.
  
• She is in choir at church. They meet between the services.
  
• She is in home school choir. They meet for 6 weeks in the fall and 6 weeks in the spring. With 3 performances in fall and 3 in the spring.
  
• Then come plays... She is doing the Christmas play this year and wants to do the spring play. For 8 weeks they have practices. In the beginning the practices are twice a week. As it gets closer they increase until the practices are every night from 5-9. Followed by 4 weekends of performances.
  

 

It's not that the list is horrible, its that everything happens at the same time. Choir performances are the week before play performances start. From the end of Oct to the end of Nov is insane. And then life calms back down for a couple of months. DH and I have talked about what we would drop if it becomes to much. We're thinking home school choir will be the first to go. But, it's a hard choice.

[Denisemomof4]

I had to cut down your quote in order to make my post smaller. I haven't read all of the posts and would like to read the entire thread more carefully, but I just had to respond. I read everything you typed above and I just have to let you know I am in the same position you are in and struggling with it everyday. This is the first year ever that we are behind in our schoolwork. I can hardly blame the kids because our life has been so hectic lately that there just really isn't the time required.

 

They are getting all kinds of extra lessons (horseback riding and dog showing and agility plus dog grooming lessons) and attention from their 4H leaders and local dog breeders and horse trainers, besides their weekly riding lessons and dog club meetings. Then they also have the actual horse shows and dog shows that take up some of our weekends. I hate for them to miss out on these things, and after all that's part of the reason we homeschool--so the education can be in unusual subjects of interest. But still we have no down time and I even have trouble finding time to prepare lessons. (Yes, I actually teach some things and even the things I assign are carefully chosen and often not exactly according to the directions in a book, so they require my thought and planning.)

 

Like your Dd they also volunteer (therapeutic riding). Then they have piano and they are working some weeks taking care of a friend's horses while she is away. Her farm is about 20 mins away. Add in the time it takes to feed and clean up after them and we are gone for a good 2-3 hours of the day and just before dinner too.

 

Last week (and most weeks since Sept) we had at least 2-3 things to do every single day except Sunday. And most of them require us to leave the house by 1:30 or earlier. With all of my sleep issues I have a hard time getting school done by then. And, I end up having to clean up the mess from the day before or I won't be able to focus.

 

In our case, I am the one with the health issues and doctor's visits and the pain and exhaustion that makes even a normal life difficult and makes the life we have been living recently downright scary. I'm afraid I'm headed for a flare up and when it happens I can only blame myself for allowing the schedule to get so crazy.

 

I am also frustrated by the lack of time to enjoy quiet pursuits at home--like crocheting, baking, sewing, drawing etc. My husband is a landscape painter whose paintings have been shown in several galleries up and down the east coast; yet he and I never seem to have time to sit down and enjoy drawing or painting with dc. It just seems so wrong. But then in order to fit in the time they would have to give up one of their other pursuits. I just don't know the answer.

 

I share your frustration about the housekeeping too. Today I was absolutely disgusted at the state of my upstairs storage room and basement. I was looking for a grammar poster we made last year so I could review with Dc. Well, I didn't find it. What I did find were piles upon piles of books and papers that need filing. These areas require so much attention that I can't even imagine how I will get them cleaned and organized.

 

Anyway, I don't really have answers for you, but I am ready to cry right along with you. I am having fantasies about locking the front door and telling everyone I know that we will not be leaving the house until spring!

 

 

I don't have any suggestions for you, either, because you're in as tough a predicament as I am! I *CAN* say, though, that if I had health issues that would relapse with such stress a hectic schedule brings, *something* would have to give. If you do relapse, who will run your kids to all those activities?

 

This storm, and resultant power outages, have been a HUGE, HUGE blessing. Even dd said how much she's enjoyed these past three days. I reminded her that she wouldn't have had time to do any of the things she's done if we had kept our schedule.

 

Still don't know what we're going to do. She LOVES synchro........ it's such a tough spot.

[Denisemomof4]

Right there. The red. It's time to stop or pull back. So, she's good at synchro. I know if she takes a year out she will get behind. I have competitive athletes; I know. BUT, so what if she is set back. Does it REALLY matter? Does she have to be competitive. It is okay to swim and do it for fun. All of that is IF she wants to return to it. She may prefer to have the down time. It is definitely worth it to take off some time and find out. Or, does she really have to go to all the clinics? What would happen if she didn't place as well?

 

My kids swim. We have taken time out a few times. A month to travel once when they were 8. 10,12. Then, at 11, 13, 15; we down graded to a less competitive team for a short course season, and then took off completely through long course. After that year, we returned to the top notch team. The kids all quickly pulled back up to where they had been before. The down time showed them that they wanted to be there (2) and that they didn't(2). The two who didn't no longer swim. The other two are still at it.

 

you're right, it's not certain that she'd fall behind if she took a year off. But it's likely, especially since they learn new moves and figures every year. I guess it's no huge issue if she does fall behind.

 

We don't have the option of missing a practice here or there. It's expected that you make EVERY practice barring sickness or unforeseen circumstances. Once the girls start to work on their routines, when someone misses a practice the entire team is off or suffers. We have to fully commit or back away. There's really no in between.

[Denisemomof4]

Given the health concerns and your dd asking to skip out on something she loves, for just the one clinic I think cutting back on synchro would be beneficial. Don't drop the team, still go to the twice a week practices but no extra clinics etc for a while. You also said that she gets these flares of health issues for a few months and then they are gone again for years. So that would mean once she is well again the appts would stop for years again? If that is the case you could approach this as a season of being busy busy and after this is will lighten up. If you think of it that way you may find you are not feeling as crazy. I often tell myself things like "It's only 12 weeks, you can do anything for 12 weeks" etc when I am feeling overburdened.

 

Our appts right now some are 20 minutes away, some are 2 hours away. They are always mid day, usually for 11am. So the days they are 20 minutes away we have to leave by 1030am, the days they are 2 hours away we have to leave by 9 am. Each of the 20 minute appts take 1 hour typically, the 2 hours away ones take several hours themselves and then back home. Once ds's cast is off we will have less of the 2hour away ones, but more of the 20 minute away and then new ones 1 hour away will start. These eat up much of our daytime hours. Yes their sports/clubs are in the evenings BUT dd's girl guide leader is also a homeschooler and like to take teh girls on early dismissal days and non-school days so that is another 1.5 days a month with her out of the house, AND the lleader plans extra activities for addition evenings 1-2 weeks of the month for them to do special things outside of normal meetings. 4H has special events on weekends, plus guide and scout camps. Add in visitation with their father. And like I said ski club is starting up on Sundays. I completely understand where you are coming from when it comes to appts and such during the day plus the extra curriculars. We are not in any groups this year that do activities during the day, but of course any fieldtrips we want have to take place during the day.

 

I can only see to options for this particular season of your life. Either accept and embrace teh busyness knowing that it will come to an end, sports seasons and clubs will end for the year, her health will improve etc and plan to have a lazy late spring/summer. OR reduce the extras, starting with the bonus activities in synchro, etc. That said given her health issues what I would do if she was my daughter is drop everything that isn't related to her academics. Yes she loves synchro and yes she loves volunteering, but if her health gets worse because of over taxing herself she will not be able to do those things any longer anyway. Better to step away for a while, deal with the health concerns and return when she is better. He volunteer work will always be there for her, they will always wlecome her but for now it needs to be put aside imo. The same for synchro, she may be behind, but better to be 1 season behind than have to give it up entirely because her health has crashed so much. That's just me though. You know your daughter best, but if I were in your shoes that it what I would do.

 

thanks for your input, Brandy. Sorry things are so tough for you at the moment, too.

 

She won't be dropping her volunteer work. It brings her more joy than anything, and it's even therapeutic for her. This won't be an option.

 

We're still seriously considering dropping synchro. She didn't go to the clinic Sunday because of the storm. She has been THOROUGHLY enjoying the past three days, and it's wonderful seeing her have the time to play with her sister, to simply be a KID, to sled, to scream and laugh, to be outside. These are all things that can never happen during the week, and until recently, weekends were as hectic.

 

I am leaning towards ending swim. Her having a childhood is more important than her having a swim career IMO. Still, it's not a firm decision, it's one that can be temporary (for this year). Today when she told me how fun the last three days have been............ it inched me further toward that decision. It's no longer her decision alone.

 

How will we know if she's happier having time to be a kid if we never try it?

 

Tomorrow my thoughts could be completely different.:glare:

[Denisemomof4]

I also cut your quote a bit to make mine less cumbersome. This part really struck me though so I wanted to comment.

 

I think if your dd is asking ("crying") for a break, then she needs it. I don't think she has to give up synchro completely but not taking one clinic is probably not going to set her back too far and the break may actually make her less stressed and able to do better. Occasionally my wrestling ds will take a week off and when he goes back, he has more energy and seems to grow a bit with his wrestling.

 

My dd's time is filled with music. Many hours every day are set aside for practice then there are lessons 2-3 days a week, orchestra once a week (last year it was two orchestras so took 2 days a week but we cut back this year), trips to NY for fiddle lessons that take up at least 6 hours of a day due to distances driven, sessions a couple times, performances anywhere from 2-6 per month depending, and extra concerts and workshops and camps that involve travel. Nothing is close to us so driving time is crazy...I put so many miles on a car. Right now it is her passion and she loves it all.

 

I always ask dd if she wants to do things...performances, sessions, workshops, going to see performances/concerts, etc... because I want it to be driven by her desires. If she ever tells me she needs a break, we take it. We figure out a way to make practice not take as long or don't do a workshop or whatever. It isn't often that she tells me this so I take it seriously when she does. How much does she really get out of a workshop or clinic? It isn't going to make or break her if she misses some opportunity and one day of not practicing something also isn't going to really cause a problem either.

 

The way I try to make the music not too tiring for her is to make those times when things are slower more fun and relaxing. It might just be one night at home but we do something fun like play a family game or I let her take a bath or whatever. I also make sure she has at least an hour on our days at home to do whatever she wants and our weekend days home which are very rare, the only thing she does regularly is practice. We spend our drives talking or singing together or something that makes them feel like a break for her.

 

Thanks, Donna. Like I said before, taking a break not only isn't an option for her, it's not fair to the team. Depending on how she places in December, she may be in a duo, trio, and then the team routine. EVERYONE suffers when one person is missing. We can't go into this with taking a break as an option, and her coaches would absolutely agree.

 

It's wonderful that your kids have that option. My decision would be easier if my dd had that same option. :glare: Your schedule sounds CRAZY!!!! I almost feel thankful for mine after reading yours!

 

This past clinic WAS important. It would have helped her better prepare, show her her weaknesses, etc. from many coaches, concerning all her figures. The first figure competition is 12/4 and this is what determines where all the kids place for the year. VERY important. Oh well, snow cancelled that for us but not others.

[Denisemomof4]

• During the school year DD has Co-op every other week.

• She swims 3 times a week all year long. She has 3 weekend swim meets scheduled for this year.

• She is in choir at church. They meet between the services.

• She is in home school choir. They meet for 6 weeks in the fall and 6 weeks in the spring. With 3 performances in fall and 3 in the spring.

• Then come plays... She is doing the Christmas play this year and wants to do the spring play. For 8 weeks they have practices. In the beginning the practices are twice a week. As it gets closer they increase until the practices are every night from 5-9. Followed by 4 weekends of performances.

 

It's not that the list is horrible, its that everything happens at the same time. Choir performances are the week before play performances start. From the end of Oct to the end of Nov is insane. And then life calms back down for a couple of months. DH and I have talked about what we would drop if it becomes to much. We're thinking home school choir will be the first to go. But, it's a hard choice.

 

:grouphug: you're right. VERY hard choice. Even with dropping homeschool choir, the plays, choir performances, and competetion are still a VERY heavy load.

 

I guess we all just need to do the best for our kid,especially when they're wanting more time to BE a kid. My dd wants both, more time AND synchro. It can't work that way.:glare:

[StephanieZ]

Yes, I worry.

 

That said, I think being busy with healthy, nurturing activities is good for all of us.

 

I struggle with balance all the time. It has become a bit easier now that two of my kids are old enough to be home alone and my youngest is old enough to be supervised at home by either of the other kids. So, as long as one of the olders is able to be home, they can stay home while I take the other kid(s) to the activity. This has really freed us to do more while still allowing each kid a good amount of home time. When I had to drag all the kids to any activity for one, it was much harder to find any balance.

 

I think being busy is not a bad thing, so long as you are busy with healthy good activities. Each individual has different needs, and you have to constantly consider each individual. . . .

 

When the kids were smaller, I tried to schedule one or more " home days" every week when we did not leave the house at all. Those were my saving grace.

 

I struggle. Every day.

[J-rap]

As my kids got to high school age, they become very busy. However, this is one of the advantages of homeschooling. If their days and nights become extremely busy, then we sleep in and take time in the mornings to have a leisurely breakfast together. If we weren't able to do this, I think we'd definitely make some changes. I don't know how busy public-schoolers do it!

[LibraryLover]

I've read through the thread and now have a strong opinion that you need to drop syncro swim. She's 11. It's too much. Nothing bad is going to happen if you drop out for a year or so. You will feel relief. If she pines for it and can't fill that time with something better --downtime/ family time /dream time/ creative time etc, go back in a year. She is too young for *all* of that. Your family also needs a break from such a huge demand.

 

Well. There. LOL

Edited November 2, 2011 by LibraryLover

[shanvan]

I don't have any suggestions for you, either, because you're in as tough a predicament as I am! I *CAN* say, though, that if I had health issues that would relapse with such stress a hectic schedule brings, *something* would have to give. If you do relapse, who will run your kids to all those activities?

 

This storm, and resultant power outages, have been a HUGE, HUGE blessing. Even dd said how much she's enjoyed these past three days. I reminded her that she wouldn't have had time to do any of the things she's done if we had kept our schedule.

 

Still don't know what we're going to do. She LOVES synchro........ it's such a tough spot.

 

Well, some of the activities will end for the winter, so I thought I'd just hang on until then. However, today Ds fell off at his riding lesson and fractured his wrist. That means he's finished with riding until spring. Not really the way I wanted to cut down on activities, but it does free up our schedule a little. Only trouble is I don't know how well he's going to be able to write since it's his right wrist. Lots of time to make up schoolwork, but less able. Arggh!

[Denisemomof4]

I've read through the thread and now have a strong opinion that you need to drop syncro swim. She's 11. It's too much. Nothing bad is going to happen if you drop out for a year or so. You will feel relief. If she pines for it and can't fill that time with something better --downtime/ family time /dream time/ creative time etc, go back in a year. She is too young for *all* of that. Your family also needs a break from such a huge demand.

 

Well. There. LOL

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

this is what dh keeps saying, too. I think you're right.......... I'm still not certain yet. I have to make up my mind by 12/4 because she won't be competing if we're going to drop out.

[Denisemomof4]

Well, some of the activities will end for the winter, so I thought I'd just hang on until then. However, today Ds fell off at his riding lesson and fractured his wrist. That means he's finished with riding until spring. Not really the way I wanted to cut down on activities, but it does free up our schedule a little. Only trouble is I don't know how well he's going to be able to write since it's his right wrist. Lots of time to make up schoolwork, but less able. Arggh!

 

Oh no! I'm really sorry!!!

 

 

Yes, I worry.

 

That said, I think being busy with healthy, nurturing activities is good for all of us.

 

I struggle with balance all the time. It has become a bit easier now that two of my kids are old enough to be home alone and my youngest is old enough to be supervised at home by either of the other kids. So, as long as one of the olders is able to be home, they can stay home while I take the other kid(s) to the activity. This has really freed us to do more while still allowing each kid a good amount of home time. When I had to drag all the kids to any activity for one, it was much harder to find any balance.

 

I think being busy is not a bad thing, so long as you are busy with healthy good activities. Each individual has different needs, and you have to constantly consider each individual. . . .

 

When the kids were smaller, I tried to schedule one or more " home days" every week when we did not leave the house at all. Those were my saving grace.

 

I struggle. Every day.

 

I agree with you somewhat, but where I start to think we're making a mistake is when dd is sad because she has no free time to do things she likes. She makes new friends and we can't get together with them. She wants to learn something new, no time. This noreaster was the BIGGEST blessing! Three days of cancelled activity. It's been PURE bliss for her, and torture for me. But at least I have an almost spotless house again, and lots of yummy food stored in the refrigerator. I also have an aching back and throbbing feet.

 

 

As my kids got to high school age, they become very busy. However, this is one of the advantages of homeschooling. If their days and nights become extremely busy, then we sleep in and take time in the mornings to have a leisurely breakfast together. If we weren't able to do this, I think we'd definitely make some changes. I don't know how busy public-schoolers do it!

 

This surprises me. With all the homeschoolers I've ever known, activities seem to quiet down in high school to keep up with the demands of the more involved studies. I'm expecting to do no more co-ops by then, that's for sure!