Lilymax Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 (edited) My parents are visiting and my mom, especially, notices every little thing that's been damaged since her last visit (which was just a few weeks ago)... "Oh, HOW did this big scratch get on your table?" (I don't even know...I just went to wipe up a wet spot and whatever the mystery liquid was stripped off a streak of stain. On a dark cherry table. That has countless tiny dings and scratches...) "Wow, that baby gate has REALLY dinged up this doorframe. Tsk-Tsk..." (Yeah, but it's preferable to having the toddler pull knives out of the dishwasher, don't you think?) "Make him stop yanking the cabinet doors! The whole cabinet is shaking!" (Yeah, he may be under 2, but he's strong. And this house is so old and shoddily-built that the cabinets wiggle when anyone opens the doors.) She says everything in this overly dramatic, horrified voice like she's wondering HOW I can allow these boys to wreck my house like this? Well...she had three little girls who were terrified to touch anything or even LIVE in their own home growing up for fear of breaking something, so my family and I are the opposite. We live in ours. We use our stuff. We don't fret if it gets scratched. It adds character! Plus, there are THREE BOYS here. And they don't go away to school eight hours a day. I don't let them run wild, by any means, but I am not about to be so obsessed with stuff that they feel they can't enjoy themselves in their own house. But she acts like we're the only ones who have a house like this. It can't be true, can it??? Edited May 30, 2011 by Lilymax Mistake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Our house is lived in. As they got older we taught them to respect it, but for the most part, with 7 kids, stuff breaks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5wolfcubs Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 It's not true. However, my dh feels about like your mom does. But he is learning to let go... :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emerkaza Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 I can totally relate. My mother's house was like your mother's house when I was growing up. Knick-Knack city and we couldn't touch anything. But everything in my house is either stained, scratched or broken. We made the mistake of buying new living room furniture about three years ago. It was trashed within a year. My youngest is 10, so I might be able to have nice things in about 8-10 years.:001_rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 :grouphug: You sure aren't the only ones. :lol: I have to say that the last person who tried to say that kind of thing in my home got a verbal clip 'side the ear.. after I'd laughed in disbelief. I've visited show-home houses... and I mean ones where there was NOTHING out... and despite my mess I'd choose my homely, somewhat broken, messy, walls painted on, not always clean HOME any day. (And just to reassure you some more, so would my kids :D ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 A chunk of our "new" bathroom mirror has cracked and fallen off (someone was opening the cabinet too vigorously). We have countless stains on our carpet that will not come out with steam cleaning, spot remover or nuclear bomb. There are numerous scratches - both accidental and not (look at dd9, not me). . . You are not the only one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 We have dings, scratches, stains, etc. I strive to keep my house clean, tidy and organized. I live with three boys and a dog. We don't live in a model house, we live in a HOME, so I don't stress out TOO much about things. If a item is really important to me, it just is not out during this stage of my life, or my boys have really been trained to respect that particular item, ie hands-OFF. I figure I will have stage in my life where my house is pristine, ding-free, easy to keep tidy........and I will miss my boys terribly! So, no, don't let your mom make you feel bad about this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 My mom's house looked like a museum even when I was growing up there. Great amounts of her energy were (and still are) spent making certain nothing was dirty or damaged. My house looks like a bomb exploded most days. The furniture has seen better days a very long time ago. I expect my kids to be careful, and they are as much as they can. However, they are 11 and 4. We are here way more than I was ever home as a child. Things get bumped. Things need repair. Eventually they are repaired but never as soon as my mom thinks they should be done. Oh well, it's my house and I would rather spend that time playing with my kids than being obsessed with the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dulcimeramy Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Homeschooling four boys in a 3 BR ranch, here. Our decorating style is not even 'shabby chic.' It's just shabby. I am bothered sometimes by the state of things, but I try to remember that our home is clean and comfortable. That's enough of an achievement with four boys ages 6 to 14 and a construction-working husband living here. People like to come over, and I suspect it is because of our home's lived-in look! Definitely a kick-off-your-shoes house... I had an elderly friend that loved to come over, but couldn't help pointing out scuffs and scratches that I hadn't even noticed yet. It started to get a little crazy-making. I'm much more content when I choose to glance at a room generally instead of inspecting for imperfections. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Tell her it's a home, not a museum. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosyl Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 We have life in our house. My mil came over one time and remarked on how very clean my house was. I looked around and said "Yes, But I took the life out of it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 (edited) *sigh* I was literally just crying over this in my freshly cleaned bathroom. DH invited his family over tomorrow, which basically means a top-to-bottom cleaning of the whole house. It's 10:30, DH has his first 5K at 8:30 in the morning, and I'm only halfway done (he's out shopping for BBQ groceries). I finally finished the main bathroom and was getting ready to clean freshly pierced ears when DD8 came to report that she'd accidentally blown the candle I'd been burning out when she opened the door. DD5 asked if she could go look at it, and in spite of my warning NOT TO TOUCH IT, she came back a minute later to tell me she'd spilled wax all over the bathroom counter, sink, floor, etc. :banghead: The bathroom wasn't even clean for 10 minutes! We have writing on our walls and lampshades and DD5's bedroom furniture (a short phase, thankfully), bumps and bubbles in the wood of our dining room table, burn marks in the upholstery of the one-year-old couch (that was a weird match accident, really bizarre), the carpet is pretty much wrecked, and as of last week there's a big splotch of bright pink nail polish on the beautifully stained and varnished sill of our big bow window in the living room. Honestly, I thought DH was going to cry when he saw that, even though he always talks about how his mother used to complain that she couldn't have anything nice with the boys in the house (and his mother was the one who gave her the nail polish to take home :glare:). So no, nothing stays nice. I've pretty much thrown up my hands, and DH is starting to get really frustrated about it, even though he knows how living with kids is (he was one of three boys raised in a small apartment in NYC). ETA: I forgot to address the rest of your post! My mom does this too, even though she knows how hard kids can be on a home (and I was an only child!). She was here a few weeks ago and started to harass me about the state of our backyard. I was like, no one even sees it, mom! And right now, I have way higher priorities than the weeds in my privacy-fenced backyard. I think it's that they finally get to have their homes to themselves and can take care of them as carefully as they always wanted to, and they forget what life with young kids is really like. It stings sometimes, but really, as homeschoolers especially, we LIVE in our houses. We have stuff--twice as much as most people, if not more! We're here all day long, and there's no place to send the kids so we can get some cleaning done. They're always here too! It's just life. Edited May 30, 2011 by melissel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Homeschooling four boys in a 3 BR ranch, here. Our decorating style is not even 'shabby chic.' It's just shabby :lol: "Yeah, those expensive creatures running around "ruining" the house, Mom? They're called kids. Some day I'll buy new furniture -- and it will stay pristine -- because the kids will be grown and gone. And I will sit on my beautiful couch holding my bone china tea cup in front of my stain-free, glossy coffee table and . . . long for the messy, trashed house that my cluttery kids made into a home." For crying out loud. The neatniks need to get a life. Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Once Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 (edited) I had/have a mother like this. She stayed home to look after the house, not the kids. I have lots of memories of her cleaning and doing chores that she could have easily taught me and my brother to do. I even remember once she remade my bed after I left for school (highschool). She is still very wrapped up in it and our relationship reflects it. She has that overly dramatic air about her too. Interestingly, my house is as clutter free as one can make it and I do try to clean (I have in the past hired a cleaning lady....who still did not get it as clean as she thought it should have been). I have many local friends over and they all feel comfortable to relax and visit, knowing that their kids can be themselves. I think most moms try to teach their kids proper respect for belongings without over obsessing on things. Back then it was more likely that you were judged on your housekeeping skills than your parenting skills. I actually feel sorry for that generation.....they missed out on some important moments. Don't worry....you are not the only one. Edited May 30, 2011 by Once Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holly IN Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Ours are pretty lived in....now we are in the remodeling stage of cleaning all the marks, replacing furniture and etc etc...Kids are now 16 1/2, 13 1/2 and soon to be 12. We feel now it is the time to shape up our house due to them being old enough now to know way much better and help us take care of our home. :D We have scruff marks on walls which we are re-painting our walls, re doing our trim, and changing our decor to be more tuscany style. Our kitchen is the only thing that is Americana except our countertops, sinks/facuets and backlash (which are tuscan style)...Right now we are debating getting rid of the Americana but we like it that way for now. It blends well the way we have it. My mom is liking the changes we are making. She still is bothered by clutter and lack of upkeep on laundry and so on. One time I blew up at her and she changed her tune and helped me more. :D My mil is a whole other ball of wax...she tells everybody she knows about the state of my house. sigh!! So I get really on edge when she visits...However she hasn't visited for 2 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Send her to my house first, then she'll think your place is great! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 (edited) I would say we have a clean and organized but relaxed atmosphere. My boys have never been ones to destroy things, but the kitchen table will get marker marks on it that come off with a Magic Eraser. We don't own expensive furniture -- particleboard stuff. LOL I would say that they are rather careful children, but they've never been very hyper either. We never had to move things out of the way, they didn't tear books like I've seen other children do. Nathan did have a habit of biting furniture for a while at night. Very odd. :confused: But, thankfully it passed. :lol: I do allow Axis and Allies games to be spread throughout the side area of the living room for days, and books pile up throughout the day. We don't have a formal living room as many do, so what you see when you come in is what you get. Remember, your mom may have a neater house right now, but I am guessing she's far lonelier than you. ;) Some people just like to nitpick in order to make themselves feel better. PS -- Our kitchen has been in need of painting for weeks. The border has been taken down, but we haven't had time to paint it. Oh, and the flooring needs to be replaced. And, this summer, I have huge organizational changes to make in the boys' bedroom and toy room. It seems by the time we're done getting one room the way we want it, three more are waiting for attention. Edited May 30, 2011 by nestof3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Well let me see. Dd cut up the couch last week using scissors out of the top cupboard in the kitchen. So that's a no. The scissors are now in the top of my wardrobe. It's inconvenient, but at least she doesn't know where they are. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natalieclare Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 It's all gonna burn. ;) I love this thread! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 My house is so dinged up it's not even funny. Couches are pushed up against the walls to hide holes, I try to wipe the grime off the walls but it just doesn't come off, etc. etc. etc. However, I've decided that it's my ministry. When other mothers come to my house and see what a wreck it is, they won't feel so bad about their own, so it's a ministry of encouragement to other mothers.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tricia Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 NO, Y, NO, nothing stays nice. That's why I don't buy anything nice! I think that having 12 kids, always having homeschooled from the beginning and having them home everyday 24/7 is why. But that's my choice and I'll live with my crappy, used furniture and be thankful I didn't bust the bank to get it only to have my kids spoil it. Which by the way, they WILL do eventually. It's not because we have a no rules, crazy, undisciplined home either. It's just life. One I wouldn't trade for anything. They are always saying, "Can we invited so and so over from church for a picnic and I really would rather not simple because of those who pass judgement at a whim. Everyone we know has the beautiful home with all the lovely things to go along with it and I really don't care to have them in my home to mentally pick over everything that's out of place!! Nor do I long for their homes either because that means giving up what I love the most. Kids and having them home all day with me. Not gonna happen!:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 I like to say our decor is homeschool chic. We have five kids and a dog. There's kid art hung on the walls, there are science experiments on the fireplace mantel, and we are getting ready to install a ballet barre in the living room. Nothing is ever clean all at once, and there are chips, nicks, flaws and stains just about everywhere you look if you look hard enough. My likely response to the petty and nitpicky? "Oh? I hadn't noticed." "Really?" "Hmmmm..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 My house is so dinged up it's not even funny. Couches are pushed up against the walls to hide holes, I try to wipe the grime off the walls but it just doesn't come off, etc. etc. etc. However, I've decided that it's my ministry. When other mothers come to my house and see what a wreck it is, they won't feel so bad about their own, so it's a ministry of encouragement to other mothers.;) Hey, I have this ministry! It seems to come naturally to me. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilymax Posted May 30, 2011 Author Share Posted May 30, 2011 My house is so dinged up it's not even funny. Couches are pushed up against the walls to hide holes, I try to wipe the grime off the walls but it just doesn't come off, etc. etc. etc. However, I've decided that it's my ministry. When other mothers come to my house and see what a wreck it is, they won't feel so bad about their own, so it's a ministry of encouragement to other mothers.;) LOL! I love this!! It's also my theory about being fat...it's so that my other friends will get to be the "skinny" one when we're together. :lol: Thanks SOOOO much for all the replies! I feel human again! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilymax Posted May 30, 2011 Author Share Posted May 30, 2011 My likely response to the petty and nitpicky? "Oh? I hadn't noticed." "Really?" "Hmmmm..." And this? This is totally my new answer for Mom. Who is going to be here for three weeks....staying in my grandmother's old house across the street. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dakarimom5 Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 My DH and I will be married 11 years this September. We have never had new furniture, unless you consider thrift store stuff "new". I would rather have chaos and noise than new furniture. I paint my walls quite a bit...it doesn't help. I also have replaced 11 windows in this house since we moved in 7 years ago. The glass place keeps our measurements on file.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WiseOwlKnits Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 We're spending part of this weekend repainting DS4's bedroom. He's scribbled on his walls with permanent marker, Crayola washable (which isn't so washable) marker, crayon, and colored pencil. I'm *finally* convinced it's safe to repaint it and not have him scribble on it again...but it's been looking pretty bad for a year. So, no, I can't say things stay looking nice in our house for long. I'm really hoping the walls will stay looking nice for at least a while though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fiddledeedee Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 My mom told me as a teenager that my bedroom was to look like a room in a hotel....like nobody lived in it. It bewildered me then, and it still does. Our house was meticulously clean at all times. My parents had 4 kids, and I have no idea why. My mom hasn't spoken to me in 8 years (a blessing). Our home is definitely lived in, it's more kind of shabby because we can't afford to replace things, but it's also kind of cluttery because we have so many things (mostly books). My son is definitely rougher on our house than our daughter. The kitties clawing a hole in my sofa don't help either. :D I'd take living in our home any day, over the museum I grew up in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emerkaza Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 I've decided that it's my ministry. When other mothers come to my house and see what a wreck it is, they won't feel so bad about their own, so it's a ministry of encouragement to other mothers.;) I like your thinking.;) :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 My house isn't trashed but it is far from pristine either. It has stuff like you described... stained couch cushions, scratched table, torn quilts in the boys' room, weeds in the yard, etc. The evidence of being lived in by children (4 of them boy children!). It bothers me sometimes. I wish it didn't, but it does. I have a hard time silencing the voices that tell me the state of my home reflects my ability as a mother (I know, it's crazy!). This thread has helped me though, esp. those of you who grew up in museum houses and hated it. I once saw a sign that said, "Excuse our mess. The children are making memories." I love that. I need it on a plaque in every room of my house! NO GUILT! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abigail4476 Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Our house is very lived in. 6 people live here every day, so it's bound to show some wear and tear. The kids do schoolwork at the dining room table, they read on the couches and they ride skateboards and scooters through the house. We do our best to keep things clean and clutter free; I gave up on being free from dings, scratches, marks and smudges a long time ago. Once the kids are out of the house, I'll have more time to focus on perfection. :) Oh, and I no longer have nice china. Setting the table 3x a day pretty much ups your odds for breakage to an impossible level. :glare: We do plastic or cheap stoneware, and I will rethink fine china later. Which reminds me...am I the only one who finds forks, spoons and knives in their yard????? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Dh is a bit like your mum too. It's just as likely to be me, though, as our kids. I burnt his favourite toxic teflon frypan the other day making HIM cauliflower patties- he completely flipped about a $20 frypan being burnt. The scratch on the table- I did that when I was upset with him once, not proud of it but it adds character, surely ;) He takes marks on the walls as personal affronts. Weird, but what to do. We aren't going to walk around on eggshells- we just developed thick skin towards his dramatic complaints :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 You could offer to go over to Mom's house to play for a while. That should keep her busy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosyl Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Our house is very lived in. 6 people live here every day, so it's bound to show some wear and tear. The kids do schoolwork at the dining room table, they read on the couches and they ride skateboards and scooters through the house. We do our best to keep things clean and clutter free; I gave up on being free from dings, scratches, marks and smudges a long time ago. Once the kids are out of the house, I'll have more time to focus on perfection. :) Oh, and I no longer have nice china. Setting the table 3x a day pretty much ups your odds for breakage to an impossible level. :glare: We do plastic or cheap stoneware, and I will rethink fine china later. Which reminds me...am I the only one who finds forks, spoons and knives in their yard????? :lol: and garage Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinaPagnato Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Right there with you, sister! We have a swarm of boys and pets, as well. So, yeah---dings kinda come with the whole package. I've reached a place of acceptance with it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 I get it from my mom, who had 4 girls before having my brother, and who doesn't seem to remember much of when we were kids. I also get it from MIL, who didn't even raise her own kids, but left it to "the help". I'd have to tie my kids in straightjackets and harness them to a pole in order for them to not destroy something. I love when they ask why I allow the boys to destroy things. I've tried just ignoring them, but lately I usually have some kind of smart @$$ response like, "Oh yeah, I encourage the kids to pour paint on the dining room chair cushions. We're going for a Modern Art look." "Didn't you know cheese is considered a conditioner for microfiber? That's why I allow them to smear it on the couch." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alicia64 Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 My mom told me as a teenager that my bedroom was to look like a room in a hotel....like nobody lived in it. It bewildered me then, and it still does. Our house was meticulously clean at all times. My parents had 4 kids, and I have no idea why. My mom hasn't spoken to me in 8 years (a blessing). I heard junk like this when I was a kid too. I, too, don't know why my parents had even two kids. Well, I often thought my parents had me so that my dad didn't get sent to Vietnam. I'm sorry for your situation, but I also know the relief of no contact! Alley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Well lets see, while dh and I were in the garage yesterday sanding the old finish off the dining room table (which got scratched, dented and many other things throughout the 6 years we've had it) my dd and youngest son were having a race, dd fell and took out one of the table legs for our school table. Yep snapped it clean off! So I guess that makes us one of those, nope our house isn't dirty but it sure is lived in and I like it that way. We pick up and try to keep things somewhat organized, but in no way is my house like a hotel/museum. I'm lucky though that my mom was the same way so she doesn't make comments like yours, instead I get things like "Oh what kind of experiment did this" when she looks at the stain/scratch/dent or whatever and she's genuinely interested in that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Outdoorsy Type Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 My house is lived in, too. I have a dinged up farm table painted black, couch with multiple stains that refuse to come out, holes in a few of the doors where the stopper failed, one door with ghost marks of a sharpie used by a little artist, and the list goes on. The house is clean, but in no way would I describe it as pristine or museum like. I have three boys and besides that I am *extremely* clumsy. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 oh man :glare: that would get on my nerves seriously! LOL I'd probably have to say something to the effect that " it's how we want to live and please respect that!" (you get my drift)....I couldn't have a house where nothing couldn't be touched or where my child couldn't LIVE and be a child.....oh man..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Definitely have the lived in look here. Six people and two dogs live in this house. It has been raining here in Michigan for WEEKS. (Whenever it stops, we race out to cut the grass! :lol:) Yesterday, while I was mopping, I looked behind me to see two dogs being brought in from a walk with muddy paws. I give up. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Well lets see, while dh and I were in the garage yesterday sanding the old finish off the dining room table (which got scratched, dented and many other things throughout the 6 years we've had it) my dd and youngest son were having a race, dd fell and took out one of the table legs for our school table. Yep snapped it clean off! So I guess that makes us one of those, nope our house isn't dirty but it sure is lived in and I like it that way. We pick up and try to keep things somewhat organized, but in no way is my house like a hotel/museum. I'm lucky though that my mom was the same way so she doesn't make comments like yours, instead I get things like "Oh what kind of experiment did this" when she looks at the stain/scratch/dent or whatever and she's genuinely interested in that. Did you find a table yet? I have a bunch of IKEA Vika Amon tables that aren't that old, and not looking so good (stains, weird bubbling etc). If you go to IKEA, spring for the nicer tops--or at least not white. I'm currently planning on layering two round pieces of plywood (making a table top about 48" round and 1.5" thick) and re-purposing the awesome adjustable legs from one of them. Soon. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Did you find a table yet? I have a bunch of IKEA Vika Amon tables that aren't that old, and not looking so good (stains, weird bubbling etc). If you go to IKEA, spring for the nicer tops--or at least not white. I'm currently planning on layering two round pieces of plywood (making a table top about 48" round and 1.5" thick) and re-purposing the awesome adjustable legs from one of them. Soon. :tongue_smilie: You're not alone! Your mother is being silly. It's sad she cares so much, especially when it's not her home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 I would just tell her that: Boys are different than girls; that does not mean "worse" or "bad", just different. Their fine motor skills are different. They may be rougher on things without meaning any harm. Things are things. Just that. Not people. No feelings. Replacable. Unimportant. A house is meant to be lived in. Not on tiptoes, but with every aspect of ourselves enjoying every moment of it fully. That's why we buy/rent it: to give us comfort. We don't pay for a house so that we can become enslaved to it. A house is not a shrine to things. We are not the servants of the things in our house. They are meant to serve us. (From one who also lived with parents who obsessed about things....) I have a ton of chotsky's in my house. Most came from yard/estate sales. My boys grew up with them. Have they ever broken one? Yes. I did just what my Grandma used to do: glued 'em back together if possible or tossed 'em. I never paid a ton for anything so their loss is really inconsequential. I don't keep museum quality objects on display that might cost me millions if damaged, LOL! I've broken more things dusting, myself, probably than the boys have broken together.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Which reminds me...am I the only one who finds forks, spoons and knives in their yard????? :lol: And in the shed, and in the couch- I don't mean under cushions, I mean in the couch, and in people's beds... Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 And in the shed, and in the couch- I don't mean under cushions, I mean in the couch, and in people's beds... Rosie You know, one of my girls actually took my coffee measuring spoon to bed once. Still trying to figure that one out... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 That's why we have kids! So they can break our stuff and we won't get so attached to possessions. ;) We have seven kids, five still at home, and it is definitely lived in! Once when I had lots of littles a woman that I knew only casually pointed to pencil marks on the living room wall and said, "Oops! Somebody scribbled on the wall!" I thought it was rude. It embarrassed me. My own mother kept our house running, meals cooked, dishes wash, laundry done, and rooms mostly picked up, but she was not obsessive and very tolerant of us playing and making messes. I have tried to follow her example. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 Well...she had three little girls who were terrified to touch anything or even LIVE in their own home growing up for fear of breaking something, so my family and I are the opposite. We live in ours. We use our stuff. We don't fret if it gets scratched. But she acts like we're the only ones who have a house like this. It can't be true, can it??? In red -- THAT was our house growing up - and we were only TWO girls. My sister and I used to joke that my mom could 'hear' dirt. But, now that my mom is living with my sister, we don't joke about it -- it clearly is true. My house only looks perfect (don't hate me) b/c it is on the market right now. Otherwise, it would look (during the school day) like a house where three children are homeschooled. As far as dings and scratches and baby gates, they come with the territory, and imho, you have to save your sanity and let her comments roll off your back. I know how difficult it is -- my sister talks to me about it all the time. And when I was in my late 20s, my parents shared a large home with me and my two daughters --my job was to stay home and make sure everything was spotless and nothing was out of place. We have dings, scratches, stains, and we go through Mr Clean Magic Erasers at an amazing pace. You know what -- the baby gates will be gone in a flash -- politely and with love tell your mom that 'this' stage will be over in a flash and you have decided not to worry about it.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paula j Posted May 30, 2011 Share Posted May 30, 2011 :grouphug: You sure aren't the only ones. :lol: I have to say that the last person who tried to say that kind of thing in my home got a verbal clip 'side the ear.. after I'd laughed in disbelief. I've visited show-home houses... and I mean ones where there was NOTHING out... and despite my mess I'd choose my homely, somewhat broken, messy, walls painted on, not always clean HOME any day. (And just to reassure you some more, so would my kids :D ) I agree! And to those who said they are looking forward to that perfect home when kids are older, don't forget the grandkids!:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nukeswife Posted May 31, 2011 Share Posted May 31, 2011 Did you find a table yet? I have a bunch of IKEA Vika Amon tables that aren't that old, and not looking so good (stains, weird bubbling etc). If you go to IKEA, spring for the nicer tops--or at least not white. I'm currently planning on layering two round pieces of plywood (making a table top about 48" round and 1.5" thick) and re-purposing the awesome adjustable legs from one of them. Soon. :tongue_smilie: I was able to get a good deal on some 2'x3' school activity tables (with nice melamine tops and the color banding on the edge) with adjustable legs. The kids will be thrilled because the tables have banding in each of their "colors" and mine is going to have yellow banding! We have a clover shaped table with this kind of top and you would never know it's almost 6 years old. That used to be our school table but they outgrew it a couple years ago. I can't wait for them to arrive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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