What's Your "friend" snack policy

[shinyhappypeople]

The neighborhood kids come over to our house almost everyday to play in our backyard. The kids live either across the street or 4 or 5 houses down. There are anywhere from 4 to 7 kids, plus my 2 DDs.

 

The only real problem is the snack issue.

 

Money's tight around our house but my daughters keep coming in and saying "So-and-so wants a snack." They've polished off a package of graham crackers and almost a whole bag of tangerines in a day.

 

Sometimes my own girls will go grab snacks for everyone (e.g. the tangerines) without asking me. That was the time one little girl ate FOUR of them. I've given my girls The Talk about how I'm in charge of snacks, they MUST ask me first, etc. with some success.

 

Yesterday, younger DD asked me if Cute-Friend could have a tangerine. (she asked! progress!) Her friend was standing with DD. I said, "No, we don't really have many left." DD thought I was confused and ran into the kitchen and brought back the back of tangerines (there were a few in there). "See mom, we do have some!" right in front of her friend. I felt *totally* on the spot and said, "Yeah, sure, she can have one."

 

Today I talked with DD about never, ever contradicting me like that. I like sharing with her friends, but my first responsibility is to make sure that WE are well fed.

 

But that still leaves the issue... to what degree am I responsible for doling out snacks?

 

I'm so torn! On the one hand, I want to be generous and hospitable. These are basically nice kids and they don't intend to eat us out of house and home. They're just clueless and hungry.

 

On the other hand, there's a part of me that's like, "Go home and eat! You live across the street!"

 

And I'm craving a tangerine but we're out. :(

 

So, what's your snack policy? I'm wide open to advice. :bigear:

[fairfarmhand]

I don't feed the neighbor kids.

 

IN the words of my dad. "Did I take you to raise?"

 

And they get to drink water too

[Carol in Cal.]

I think that there are some real advantages, especially in the teen years, of being established as the 'destination house' in the neighborhood. If you can afford it, I think that doling out a bunch of healthy snacks is a great way to help accomplish this. You can certainly set up ground rules--ex. 'Snacks but not treats' or snack bar is open from 3 to 3:30--but to me, serving food is an essential part of good hospitality. I don't fault you for feeling the way that you do, and if it's a real financial burden I would not feel obligated, but if you can swing it then in the long run I think you will be glad that you did.

[ocelotmom]

Homemade popsicles. There's approximately two ounces of juice per popsicle. Going through a few extra isn't going to break the bank, and it feels like a treat.

 

However, I would limit it to one a day, and if it was every day and their family wasn't reciprocating, I'd probably send them home at least some of the time.

[teachermom2834]

Bottomless bowls of air popped popcorn are my answer to this.

 

I buy popcorn by the 50# bag at Sam's Club for $17. The kids can make this for themselves and friends without asking.

 

As the kids get older they can really polish off huge quantities of snacks. I sometimes have other things but when the bag of chips is gone they move on to the popcorn. The popcorn has saved me when we've had sleepovers with preteen boys.

 

Popsicles are more affordable, too.

 

I know fruit or cheese sticks would be healthier but I'd spend more on snacks for other kids than I do for family meals if I did that.

[Jennifer in MI]

This was a hard one for me. We eat mostly organic fresh foods. So, when friends come over and want to eat, it's expensive!!!! And, many of my kids' friends don't eat like we do. So, they'll turn their noses up at what I offer.

 

But, I want to be the destination house! I want my kids' friends to come here. I don't, however, want to have junk food around the house.

 

So, I found a few things that I now have in my freezer that my kids' friends LOVE. I found a recipe for pretzels that taste like Aunt Annie's pretzels (do you have those?). It is SO good. We made up a quadruple recipe one day. Now, when the friends come over, I stick some on the oven and they have fresh pretzels.

 

Most of the kids love my fresh homemade bread with butter. So, occasionally, I'll bake bread when the kids are over for an extended time period.

 

Popcorn. It's a really cheap, quick snack.

 

Oh - and they get water. If my kids are having a party, I'll buy soda/juice.

[jen3kids]

Whether or not I feed the neighbourhood kids depends on the number that are there. A couple, no problem; but 4-7, no way. When my kids tell me 'so and so' is hungry and wants a snack' I tell that kid to head home to get a snack.

 

Some parents don't want their kids eating snacks or they are particular about what their kid eats. If my kids want a snack, they come in and eat it inside, telling the others that they'll be back out in 5 minutes.

 

As for drinks, I have all the water they want!!!

[twoforjoy]

Unless money is really tight, in the summer I generally do buy enough snacks to feed a few extra kids during the week. I shop at Aldi, so it's not too expensive to do so, and I don't get anything elaborate. I don't let them just run into the kitchen for snacks, but I will offer everybody a snack at snacktime.

 

I used to be really generous and make lunch for anybody who was over, but once DD was born, that got a bit burdensome. DS has a couple of friends who I know don't get regular, healthy meals at home (and I'm not setting high standards here, these kids live on soda and chips), so they are welcome to eat lunch at our house whenever they want. But kids who have a parent who is willing and able to provide them with a real lunch get sent home at lunch time (everybody lives within safe walking distance) and are welcome to come back when they finish up. Usually they come over after lunch anyway, so it's not an issue.

[shinyhappypeople]

I think that there are some real advantages, especially in the teen years, of being established as the 'destination house' in the neighborhood. If you can afford it, I think that doling out a bunch of healthy snacks is a great way to help accomplish this. You can certainly set up ground rules--ex. 'Snacks but not treats' or snack bar is open from 3 to 3:30--but to me, serving food is an essential part of good hospitality. I don't fault you for feeling the way that you do, and if it's a real financial burden I would not feel obligated, but if you can swing it then in the long run I think you will be glad that you did.

 

See, this (bolded part) is kind of how I'm thinking.

 

But, this month especially, we're b-r-o-k-e. :(

 

I guess I just feel bad because I *want* to be able to have enough to share but I can't always swing it.

 

And, being honest, the greed is getting to me. I give out one snack, the kids keep asking for seconds. And thirds. And fourths.

 

They're good kids, but I don't know how to figure out how to manage this without sounding like the Mean-Mom. I want them to *want* to come here. But, the lack of manners regarding food.... argh. :tongue_smilie:

[HSMWB]

All we drink is water - so water they can have, as much as they want.

 

I also agree with the air-popped popcorn. In summer we also do the homemade popsicles. I have also been known to make pancakes with fruit spread, not the real maple syrup.

[scubamama]

You can't mention yummy pretzels and not share the recipe!!!!

 

:bigear::bigear::bigear::bigear:

 

Michele

[shinyhappypeople]

You can't mention yummy pretzels and not share the recipe!!!!

 

:bigear::bigear::bigear::bigear:

 

Michele

 

:iagree:

[sassenach]

This was a hard one for me. We eat mostly organic fresh foods. So, when friends come over and want to eat, it's expensive!!!! And, many of my kids' friends don't eat like we do. So, they'll turn their noses up at what I offer.

 

But, I want to be the destination house! I want my kids' friends to come here. I don't, however, want to have junk food around the house.

 

So, I found a few things that I now have in my freezer that my kids' friends LOVE. I found a recipe for pretzels that taste like Aunt Annie's pretzels (do you have those?). It is SO good. We made up a quadruple recipe one day. Now, when the friends come over, I stick some on the oven and they have fresh pretzels.

 

Most of the kids love my fresh homemade bread with butter. So, occasionally, I'll bake bread when the kids are over for an extended time period.

 

Popcorn. It's a really cheap, quick snack.

 

Oh - and they get water. If my kids are having a party, I'll buy soda/juice.

 

Hello, you are clearly breaking a board rule. Do not talk about yummy sounding recipes without posting a link to said recipe. ;) Please?

[Carol in Cal.]

You know, you could ask the kids if they would like to bring a snack to share. Probably the word will get back to the parents, in a gentle way, and maybe one or two of them will start to pitch in.

 

What you don't want, IMO, is for some kids to bring food for just themselves. That gets squicky pretty fast sometimes. Messy ketchup, greasy waxed paper fights, discoveries of ancient food in odd corners, that kind of thing.

 

You share, they share. It all works out.

[twoforjoy]

And, being honest, the greed is getting to me. I give out one snack, the kids keep asking for seconds. And thirds. And fourths.

 

They're good kids, but I don't know how to figure out how to manage this without sounding like the Mean-Mom. I want them to *want* to come here. But, the lack of manners regarding food.... argh. :tongue_smilie:

 

I've had this happen. I've particularly had this happen with kids who come from no-junk-food homes. (My personal stance is that, if a parent asks me not to feed their child something, I won't. If they don't give me dietary guidelines, the child is free to eat what's in my house.) They'll see I have ice cream and just lose it. My kids eat "junk" in moderation, and so we can have a box of cookies last us a couple of weeks. I find that sometimes kids who don't get "junk food" at home will want to eat the entire bag.

 

There are a few kids I've had to set really strict limits with, because otherwise they'd just come into my kitchen, find something sweet, and eat as much of it as they could. Just serving snacks at snack time, with no seconds, helps. If they're still hungry, they can go home and see if their parents will give them something else.

 

I don't think I'm mean about it. I just say, "I know you'd like more, but snack time's over. It'll be time for lunch/dinner soon," as sympathetically as I can, the way I'd do with my own kids. ;)

[sassenach]

See, this (bolded part) is kind of how I'm thinking.

 

But, this month especially, we're b-r-o-k-e. :(

 

I guess I just feel bad because I *want* to be able to have enough to share but I can't always swing it.

 

And, being honest, the greed is getting to me. I give out one snack, the kids keep asking for seconds. And thirds. And fourths.

 

They're good kids, but I don't know how to figure out how to manage this without sounding like the Mean-Mom. I want them to *want* to come here. But, the lack of manners regarding food.... argh. :tongue_smilie:

 

I get this. Kids often ask for snacks out of habit. We play, we eat, we play, we eat. When I've had to close down the snack shop, I usually offer them water with a smile and then say, "Sorry, no snacks today! If you're hungry for a meal, why don't you run home and get something? We'll wait for you to get back." Usually, the snack is not more important than playing and they'll just let it go. You can only do what you can do, right?

[jujsky]

Popcorn. It's cheap, easy to make, and feeds a horde of hungry children.

[StephanieZ]

I'd choose inexpensive, reasonably healthy snacks and simply plan snack time every day when guests will be around.

 

You could make your own pop corn if you have an old fashioned or air popper. For a few cents, you can make a huge batch. Add a bit of butter along with the salt (or cheap margarine) if you can.

 

Make country time lemonade (weak!) or kool aid. Or, simply serve ice water.

 

Make homemade popsicles with cheap powdered drink mix, or buy that huge box of freezer pops at Sam's, so they are like a couple cents each.

 

You could chop up carrots or apples if can afford it. Some peanut butter for dipping is divine.

 

From now on, make it 100% clear to your kids that snacks will be available when you offer them at a certain time. Other than those snacks, kids may self serve ice water. AND THAT IS IT! Explain to them that it is RUDE for a guest to ask for food, and be sure they don't do it when they are visiting elsewhere. If anyone DOES ask you for snack, then simply offer, "We can make popcorn in an hour, but if you're too hungry to wait, you can go home for a snack and then come back." You need to retrain these kiddos.

[Abigail4476]

As mentioned, go with inexpensive things like sliced apples, pickles, dried cranberries, cheese & saltines or popcorn. A lot of kids are used to junk food anyway and when you offer healthy stuff, they'll likely be uninterested. We don't keep sodas or juice boxes on hand, so drinks are cheap. :D My kids are older, so they're free to grab whatever they want in the pantry. I don't prepare a snack for them.

 

I also agree with another poster that the effort of making your house the favorite place to hang out can pay off when your kids become teenagers. :001_smile:

[regentrude]

Our standard snack for DS and his friends are apples. They all know that, at our house, snack is apples, preferable the green ones. I cut up a bowl and hand it to them. Or grapes.

When kids are at my house, I feed them - but I decide what I feed them.

 

Now, when DD has her friend over, they often raid the pantry, cook or bake something - that's fine.

 

When my kids are at their friends houses, they get fed, too.

ETA: If there are special foods that I am saving for something, I'll put those away.

[Jennifer in MI]

I am SO sorry I broke board rules. I promise to do better in the future! Moderators: If you feel I must be banned, feel free. I'll understand!

 

Okay - Pretzels

 

1 1/2 cups warm water

1 1 4 t active dry yeast

2 T powdered sugar

1 1/4 t salt

4 cups flour

2 cups water

2 T baking soda

 

Dissolve powdered sugar in warm water in medium bowl. Sprinkle yeast on water/sugar mixture, stir slightly. Put aside for 10 minutes, allow yeast to bloom

 

Add salt and flour to yeast mixture and knead dough until smooth and elastic (3 - 5 minutes).

 

Cover bowl loosely with a cotton towel and let dough rise at least 1 1/2 hours.

 

Prepare baking soda bath. Bring 2 cups of water and baking soda just to a simmer. Be certain to stir often.

 

After dough has risen, pinch off bits of dough and roll into a long rope (about 1/2 inch or less thick) and shape.

 

Using a slotted spoon, dip pretzel into baking soda bath for 20 - 30 seconds. Allow excess water to drop off then place on greased baking sheet. (At this point I put the baking sheet into the freezer. Let them freeze, then put them into a ziplock bag and back in the freezer. Then, as you need them, take them out and bake as below!)

 

Bake in oven at 450 degrees for 5 minutes, rotate pan, bake for about 5 minutes more or until golden.

 

Toppings:

melt butter

brush butter on pretzels

sprinkle with salt

or

Melt butter in bowl

In another bowl, make a sugar/cinnamon mixture (1/2 c sugar, 2 Tsp cinnamon

Dip pretzel in butter

Dip into cimmamon mixture

 

It is time consuming. BUT these are SOOOOO good. (I've found I can use a half/half mixture of whole wheat and white flour, so they're not quite as bad for you as they sound!)

 

There. Can I get out of the doghouse now?!

[JennyD]

nm

Edited May 18, 2011 by JennyD

[redsquirrel]

I understand, I really do.

 

I make a lot of stuff for that reason. I make muffins quite often. Things like pumpkin muffins, apple sauce muffins, banana muffins. I always have the ingredients around. It is easy to put kids off a snack if you tell them muffins are in the oven. I usually make enough for two muffins per child. They eat those and then I feel very comfortable saying "we are done with snacks. If you are still hungry after two muffins, you need to go home for a meal" It's also easy to slow them down because I can give them all one and then one kid always comes back right way for a second. I can tell them that they can't have a second until everyone else is done with their first. It slows them down and lets them realize they just ate.

 

Popcorn is a good choice if the kids are older...and don't have braces, lol. I had to stop popcorn when my kid got braces. Someone also mentioned bread. I make bread and that is always a big hit.

 

I also buy large bags of pretzels and dole those out. I have some brightly coloured plastic cups that I allow outside. They hold about .75 of a cup. I put pretzels and/or store brand cheerios or other non-sugar cereal and maybe some raisins in the cup for a snack. I portion them out, not the kids!

 

My favorite thing, after the muffins, is to put out a veggie plate. I put out carrot sticks and celery sticks and maybe some raw broccoli and some salad dressing for dip. You want a snack? Sure it's there on the table. You want fruit? Sure, after the veggies are gone. Among my friends, this is a very common offering so the kids are used to it. I sometimes use little paper cups for individual serving of dip. That cuts down on the spreading of germs.

 

And don't be too hard on your daughter. You sound like a very honest and generous person. I am sure she is just like you. I bet she was just trying to be helpful. She didn't understand her mama was telling a social lie. I can just see my boys looking at me with their big eyes saying "oh, no mama, we DO have more of those bananas. You just forgot!" And I watch the kids go through two bunches of bananas :lol:

[lailasmum]

Our neighbours dd is always here needing feeding. I think she is looked after each evening by her grand parents and just given a sandwich or something quick and easy that her parents leave, its not really enough after her full day at school. She is always hungry. I think I fed her evening meals 4 times one week and she goes through a lot of snacks. I need to learn to send her home but its hard to turn down a hungry child. The eating of all snack foods is definitely a problem , particularly when I hear her asking my dd to ask me for sweets and chocolate (which we rarely have) and biscuits. The fruit tends to get eaten up by Tuesday and we buy it on Saturdays.

[regentrude]

And, being honest, the greed is getting to me. I give out one snack, the kids keep asking for seconds. And thirds. And fourths.

 

 

They are probably really just hungry rather than greedy.

There is nothing wrong with rationing 'special" foods. Peel the tangerines and serve them a bowl of slices - not whole ones. Then after that, find something inexpensive. Popcorn is great. Or carrots.

And if they really have eaten a lot, you could simply say that this is enough snack, otherwise they won't have an appetite for dinner (or lunch)

[SunD]

1. They drink water.

2. Snacks are at set times. If someone comes and asks, I say "Ooh, we do have a snack at 3:00 every afternoon. It's 2:30 right now. I'll come call everyone to snack time when it's ready, but we'll understand if you're just starving and you need to go home and grab something." Repeat more directly if necessary.

3. Snacks are predetermined. If I make popcorn and someone whines that they don't like it or requests xyz instead, I say "Well, if you don't like popcorn, we'll understand if you go home and grab a snack there."

4. Snacks have set portions. If you finish yours and you're still hungry, you can have one half-portion more. If you're still hungry, I say "Oh honey, I can't feed you a whole meal. Your mom/dad/grandma probably wants you to eat a real lunch/dinner, so if you're just super hungry, you should probably go home and see what they're making."

 

Say it cheerfully and matter-of-factly, and most of them won't think you're mean. Repeat it until they resume playing or go home to eat. Just don't lost patience the nineteenth time (it will be, after all, a change in "the rules") and snap at them because then they'll think you're mean.

 

Popular, cheap snacks here are popcorn, peanut butter with pretzel sticks (huge bag from Sam's Club) or apple slices to dip, cheese (huge block from Sam's Club) on crackers or cut into cubes and skewered with the pretzel sticks, bananas, cheese quesadillas, and hard-boiled eggs.

 

If you institute rules you might have to explain them to your own kids beforehand. There will now be a set snack time, and you will make something available at that time. If Susie asks for more tangerines, tell her "It's not snack time yet.", not "Yeah, let's go find them in the kitchen."

[dakarimom5]

I do not give the neighborhood children snacks. This is not because money is tight,though it is, but because of rudeness. My DH goes to the gym and so we buy bottled water once a month. One of the neighborhood children was over one day and asked for something to drink. I said that I would get him a glass of water and he then told me he only wanted bottled water! He then saw the cookies on the stove and asked for one of them. I told him they were to be sent to school the next day for a party and he kept asking for one, telling me they were just sitting there so I should give him one! He got sent home and I don't do snacks anymore.

[AngelBee]

You know, you could ask the kids if they would like to bring a snack to share. Probably the word will get back to the parents, in a gentle way, and maybe one or two of them will start to pitch in.

 

What you don't want, IMO, is for some kids to bring food for just themselves. That gets squicky pretty fast sometimes. Messy ketchup, greasy waxed paper fights, discoveries of ancient food in odd corners, that kind of thing.

 

You share, they share. It all works out.

I was thinking of this.

 

"We love having Suzie over to play. Do you think it would be possible for her to bring a snack to share on occasion? The kids sure enjoy spending time together."

 

Then see if they send em. :)

 

:grouphug: I totally understand where you are at. I had to start having one regular bring some cash as he would accompany us to events for my business (dance school) and I just could not get the extras he wanted or pay his entry everytime. He is with us nearly every other weekend for 2 nights, so I just politely asked him to keep a little cash on him.

 

He still comes and he feels less ackward having to ask if he can get a hot chocolate or whatever.

 

We still feed him dinner and such. ;)

[5LittleMonkeys]

I've had to talk to my dc about asking for food for their friends in front of their friends. Big no no here. We had a problem with this a while back with the 2 kids that live across the street. AS SOON as they would walk into my house they would ask for a snack. The first few times I gave them sliced apples or graham crackers but then it seemed it was just becoming customary for them to drop their school stuff at their front door and head over here for a snack. One day the little boy got done eating and said he was going home, I asked him if he wanted to play and he said no not really...he just liked our apples better. :confused: (and before anyone says anything about his mom not providing snacks...I've seen inside her cupboards and fridge and they have more snack foods than meal type food and when I see them playing in their own yard they always are eating something) Now when they come over right after school I ask them if they've had a snack yet and if they say no I tell them to head home for one and then they can come back to play. My dc rarely play at their house but have been told that they are not to ask for food.

 

My rule of thumb is that if kids show up over here to play out of the blue then they are here to play, not eat. I don't have the time, energy, money or inclination to feed everyone else's kids...I have enough of my own thank you very much. My exception is if we have specifically invited kids over to our house for playdates or sleep overs. Then I make special snacks and treats for them.

[Ellie]

But that still leaves the issue... to what degree am I responsible for doling out snacks?

You are not responsible to feed random neighborhood children who come over to play. Send them home when it's time to eat.

 

When your dc invite specific dc over to play, of course you feed them, but you're not obligated to feed a yard-full of dc who could run across the street to get their own snacks.

 

If you make a batch of cookies periodically to share with the kids, that's great, but otherwise, they can go home. It's what *we* did when we were kids.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I I find that sometimes kids who don't get "junk food" at home will want to eat the entire bag.

 

 

 

Thread hijack here, but, for many of us, the reason why we don't have junk food at home rule is that they would eat the entire bag. I know that is true for me and it is for ds14. (And I was raised on white bread, twinkies, and potato chip lunches.) I know plenty of kids who get tons of junk at home and still make pigs of themselves when they see an open bag of whatever. Dh, dd and ds17 are not so voracious.

 

Bad manners is bad manners, whether it comes from a "whole foods" kind of home or a "junk food allowed" kind of home.

 

OP, it is OK to put limits on the snacking. Set a time for snacking. If the child asks, say that snacks will be served at < whatever> time. You portion it out. If you want to serve more, you can put out something less expensive or healthier afterwards. Being generous is one thing. Letting other families walk all over you is another. Training your children to learn how to do this politely will take some time.

 

I grew up in a house with a swimming pool. All the neighborhood kids would come over for a swim. It was great, but the snack thing got old after a while. My mom finally instituted a rule that kids who come swimming needed to bring an adult to help supervise and snacks to share. It worked out great. My mom no longer felt taken advantage of and she became much nicer to the neighbor kids.

[Abigail4476]

Thread hijack here, but, for many of us, the reason why we don't have junk food at home rule is that they would eat the entire bag. I know that is true for me and it is for ds14. (And I was raised on white bread, twinkies, and potato chip lunches.) I know plenty of kids who get tons of junk at home and still make pigs of themselves when they see an open bag of whatever. Dh, dd and ds17 are not so voracious.

 

:iagree: Exactly! It's easy to stuff yourself on junk food. Or maybe more accurately--to still feel dissatisfied afterward.

 

...It worked out great. My mom no longer felt taken advantage of and she became much nicer to the neighbor kids.

 

This had me LOL!!! :lol::lol::lol:

[shinyhappypeople]

I grew up in a house with a swimming pool. All the neighborhood kids would come over for a swim. It was great, but the snack thing got old after a while. My mom finally instituted a rule that kids who come swimming needed to bring an adult to help supervise and snacks to share. It worked out great. My mom no longer felt taken advantage of and she became much nicer to the neighbor kids.

 

Knowing that moms having been dealing with this quandary for generations is comforting. :001_smile: I was feeling like there was something wrong with me for feeling frustrated about this situation.

[ocelotmom]

Thread hijack here, but, for many of us, the reason why we don't have junk food at home rule is that they would eat the entire bag. I know that is true for me and it is for ds14.

Yep, that's us too.

 

When we have treats, we tend to make/buy enough for one serving each. That way, when it's gone, it's gone, and no one overdoes it getting to the "gone" point.

 

(And also? Anyone who wants to see why we don't keep treats around the house is welcome to come over and deal with DD1, who had a slice of cake last night, right now.)

[myfatherslily]

Lots of great suggestions:) I personally have no problems with being mean-mom, to a degree:) I have 3 kids, I babysit 1 full-time, and we have 5 cousins living next door. I simply cannot feed 9 kids snacks every day! lol! Of course, the cousins' mom doesn't expect me to, but kids are kids and they do get hungry. I share if we have something on hand and if we don't, I tell them to run home and get a snack.

 

I do prefer that they all play in my yard, esp. because I babysit - I can't just send him off to play next door!

 

Now I just need to install a water fountain...

[cassiemc]

I feed the neighbor children if my kids ask for a snack. My children know to ask me first. They don't get snacks for themselves without asking either. Sometimes, I'll make a plate of snacks and bring them outside if the kids have been playing a while. I figure they are probably hungry. My kids will get drinks for their thirsty friends. I think that is very nice and thoughtful of them. The other moms will give my kids a snack if they are over playing, or my kids will come home and get one. Really, it hasn't been a big deal.

 

If money is a problem for you, then just say no. It's ok :)

[BakersDozen]

After years of feeding the neighborhood and friend's kids who always seemed to be over I just stopped. The kids not in our family can bring their own family. If they don't have their own snack then I tell my dc that no snack will be eaten by our dc when friends are over. I also try to limit the time the neighborhood dc are here to 3pm and after so we can have snack at 2:30 and be done.

 

I love being hospitable and feel I am doing so just by opening my home and sharing my time to as many kids as will fit in our house/yard. I can't feed them all, though.

[EKS]

My policy with neighborhood kids is that if they're hungry they can go home to eat.

[Lady Florida.]

We usually have freeze pops on hand for ds to share during the summer (which lasts about 6 months in Florida). I've also made popcorn if neighborhood friends were here on a rainy day and all were playing indoors. On rare cold winter days, I've offered hot chocolate to everyone. I don't mind feeding neighborhood kids, but in our neighborhood, all of the moms are like that. If it seemed like I was always the one feeding other kids, and the other moms always sent my kid home, I'd resent that. Except for the above mentioned hot chocolate, we always offer water to drink. That's what we drink, so I usually don't have anything else to offer anyway.

[Ellesmere]

 

I guess I just feel bad because I *want* to be able to have enough to share but I can't always swing it.

 

And, being honest, the greed is getting to me. I give out one snack, the kids keep asking for seconds. And thirds. And fourths.

 

 

 

Some kids are just clueless. Some are greedy. A lady and her kids came over for the first time and after a full lunch, they still wanted more. I threw together some more food and they took seconds and thirds. Then, they pranced around bragging about how big their bellies were from all the food they had eaten. They are definitely not hurting for food at their own home, either. I enjoy sharing and especially giving to those who don't eat well at home, but that incident was a bit odd.

 

I understand how you feel. It's tight for us and we like to share. We don't want to feed junk food but we can't offer fancy stuff either. I enjoy baking so I try to have cookie dough in the freezer so it's no big deal to pop in a batch. I don't know if it was mentioned, but bananas are cheaper around here than tangerines. A dollop of honey or PB to go with it sometimes makes it more appealing.

[Murphy101]

I don't feed the neighbor kids.

 

IN the words of my dad. "Did I take you to raise?"

 

And they get to drink water too

 

:iagree: And I think it very rude of them to ask!

[5LittleMonkeys]

 

Now I just need to install a water fountain...

 

http://www.harrietcarter.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/emailFriend.loginForms/productID/169c3449-ee02-42ef-87db-7d6aea794009/categoryID/5d5796c4-6a1f-4104-b5f2-31eb986ce3df/

 

Here you go. We had one at our last house (not exactly like this) and I loved it. No more coming in every 10 minutes asking for water and no more having to hunt down all my plastic cups all over the yard.

[Impish]

I've sent kids home for snack. Tell them they're welcome to come back after.

 

You can't afford to feed the neighbourhood and have your family go without.

[Michelle My Bell]

I wouldn't give snacks for the reason you mentioned but also because the parents of these kids might not want you giving their kids snacks. They may not eat their meals at home, or they may have allergies or even a weight problem. If a child needs a snack because they are not being fed properly at home, I might consider that but the answer is "no" most of the time.

[Shellydon]

We do popcorn popped in a pot on the stove and water. Cheap, easy.

[~Tara~]

Has anyone mentioned actually asking the parents if their children may eat at your house? Send a note home if needed. Requesting a call or return note. No snacks until permission is confirmed.

 

From there, I also understand the desire to be 'that' house. Being friendly and all. The hang out. I totally get that. So, in an effort to be that without killing your family's grocery budget...go for cheap options. I try to keep those cheap popsicles on hand during the summer for my own family, no big deal to hand those out to others once in a while.

 

But then, I'm not one who gives out daily snacks to my own. So an occasional sharing with neighborhood kids doesn't seem as big of a deal, kwim?

 

Maybe you could assign a day in which you share with all? The other days you simply call your kids inside. You do not need to announce to them from the door that it's time for them to come in for their personal snack. Just say, 'kids, time to come in please'. They come, enjoy their snack then be on their merry way. But maybe Wednesdays you go out and offer a snack to whoever is there?

 

I don't know, just my random thoughts. Maybe they helped you find a happy medium.

[4wildberrys]

I think that there are some real advantages, especially in the teen years, of being established as the 'destination house' in the neighborhood. If you can afford it, I think that doling out a bunch of healthy snacks is a great way to help accomplish this. You can certainly set up ground rules--ex. 'Snacks but not treats' or snack bar is open from 3 to 3:30--but to me, serving food is an essential part of good hospitality. I don't fault you for feeling the way that you do, and if it's a real financial burden I would not feel obligated, but if you can swing it then in the long run I think you will be glad that you did.

:iagree: It IS nice to be the destination house---which ours has been. But it does get expensive if you don't regulate the snacks---cheese, yogurts, chips etc. add up. Fast. I really like the idea of air popped popcorn! Your kids need to have a prepping on a snack policy---as in THESE are the only snacks for the other kids and you must ask me first ;) That's what we had to do finally when our expensive organic yogurts would have ONE bite taken out of them and the rest wasted, ALL the oranges eaten, ALL the cheese sticks, ALL the expensive gluten free cereal, etc. etc :glare:

 

In my experiences, there are 2 main reasons why kids will abuse snacking at someone else's house: A Food Controlling mother at home who does not allow snacking or adequate snacking for really hungry kids OR poverty at home that doesn't allow for enough food in the house anyways. When finances are tight it's so hard to have to say no to a hungry kid----so just pick a cheaper snack (especially that popcorn) that you can feed in abundance without breaking the bank and still get to have the crowd at your house.

[Pretty in Pink]

In that situation I would keep plenty of popcorn kernels and cheap popsicles on (those ones that come about 500 to a case during the summer months). Keep the air popper out on the counter for making popcorn with little hassle. Water to drink.

[RoundAbout]

No advice, but thanks for the reminder that I need to train my son not to ask for snacks at other people's houses. I remember my mother was particularly adamant about this because we were pretty poor and grew up in a poor neighborhood. I remember especially that I was never supposed to ask for milk, presumably because it was (relatively) expensive and people needed it for their toddlers.

[In2why]

I deal with this constantly. Most of the neighborhood seems to live at our house. The sad thing that they have been known to play in our front yard on the tire swing or basketball hoop even when the kids aren't here. As for snacks I also make kool-aid, although I am looking hard at that outdoor water fountain idea. We do popcorn and ice pops in the summer time. But I also don't have a handle on this yet. Sadly there are many times when I buy a bag of cookies, a box of Gogurts, or a huge basket of fruit to discover it gone the next day. I have never required my own kids to ask me for a snack, and they only seem to eat when hungry instead of being greedy, but yes, other kids will eat until it is gone. I am rethinking my policy after reading this thread.