gingersmom Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 http://www.latimes.com/la-me-0517-arnold-20110517,0,4552508.story I never liked him. Now I have one more reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lulubelle Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Ouch! A family staff! And, just retired! There will sure be a movie of the week about that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Doesn't surprise me at all.....I have been saying for a while now that I think he wasn't faithful. What an idiot. Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cin Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 He was accused of groping some women during his first campaign and he fooled around with a staff member (who told him it was her husband's baby at the time, before he was in office). And nothing has been published since then, and she's lived with him all that time. But now, the article says she doesn't love him anymore. Honey, If I left my husband when I didn't love him, I would have been gone YEARS ago. Richer, Poorer, Sickness, Health, Better, Worse, As Long As We Both Shall Live. Unless somebody REALLY screws up. I know I'm in the minority, but I've stuck with my husband through some times we'd both rather forget. As would one of his former co-workers, who unfortunately, moved to our little town. That was through the 'worse' time. And I'm glad I did. We, as a couple, are better for it today. Do I think EVERY person should stay in their marriage? NOPE, so don't even put that in my mouth. I know women who have left their husband, or threatened too, for various reasons. Some of the marriages are working out, and they are stronger. And some of the husband's just said good riddance, and the marriage is over. Also, I do not think it is always the man's fault. I just usually hear from the woman's POV, so that's what I reference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 This just makes me mad! :smash: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Boy, didn't see that one coming. :glare: What a schmuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 "former governor" - Hey I didn't know he wasn't anymore… People screw up.. unfortunately, some people's stuff gets plastered all over the "news". My dh and I have had some tough times here & there over the years - I'm glad our stuff doesn't get hung out for everyone and their dogs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 It sucks that this information had to go public. It's really none of our business. I feel sad for their family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 One hopes he at least let the woman know he was going public with this first - so she could let her husband and the child know rather than them learning of it via the media. What a jerk. A double jerk - for cheating in the first place and now this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 He was accused of groping some women during his first campaign and he fooled around with a staff member (who told him it was her husband's baby at the time, before he was in office). And nothing has been published since then, and she's lived with him all that time. But now, the article says she doesn't love him anymore. Honey, If I left my husband when I didn't love him, I would have been gone YEARS ago. Richer, Poorer, Sickness, Health, Better, Worse, As Long As We Both Shall Live. Unless somebody REALLY screws up. I know I'm in the minority, but I've stuck with my husband through some times we'd both rather forget. As would one of his former co-workers, who unfortunately, moved to our little town. That was through the 'worse' time. And I'm glad I did. We, as a couple, are better for it today. Do I think EVERY person should stay in their marriage? NOPE, so don't even put that in my mouth. I know women who have left their husband, or threatened too, for various reasons. Some of the marriages are working out, and they are stronger. And some of the husband's just said good riddance, and the marriage is over. Also, I do not think it is always the man's fault. I just usually hear from the woman's POV, so that's what I reference. :iagree: I guess the child was the last straw and wonder if, "I despise him" wouldn't be more honest than, "I don't love him." I'm guessing she put up with the other stuff, but the idea of a living breathing reminder... too much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 It sounds like no one else wanted it to go public. At least, the staffer was still recently saying the child's father was her husband. The cynic in me wonders if he's trying to keep his name in the news for publicity for his movie projects. You know......"the only bad publicity is no publicity." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 When I glanced at the thread title I read, "Anyone (who) has a love child" :lol: I think I need more coffee! Dawn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 It sounds like no one else wanted it to go public. At least, the staffer was still recently saying the child's father was her husband. The cynic in me wonders if he's trying to keep his name in the news for publicity for his movie projects. You know......"the only bad publicity is no publicity." Legally, isn't that true? That if a woman is married, her husband is the legal father of the child? Or am I thinking of some really old law? Not prima nocta old, but old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 It sucks that this information had to go public. It's really none of our business. I feel sad for their family. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Legally, isn't that true? That if a woman is married, her husband is the legal father of the child? I suppose it depends what they did with the birth certificate. It seems like I might have heard that if you are married, the father can't refuse to be put on the BC? They have to go back and dispute? Maybe I'm just making that up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 "former governor" - Hey I didn't know he wasn't anymore… People screw up.. unfortunately, some people's stuff gets plastered all over the "news". My dh and I have had some tough times here & there over the years - I'm glad our stuff doesn't get hung out for everyone and their dogs. Ditto. I'm neutral on Arnold but I can't really get too upset about this. I hope the best for him, his family and all involved on sorting this out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Legally, isn't that true? That if a woman is married, her husband is the legal father of the child? Or am I thinking of some really old law? Not prima nocta old, but old. I suppose it depends what they did with the birth certificate. It seems like I might have heard that if you are married, the father can't refuse to be put on the BC? They have to go back and dispute? Maybe I'm just making that up. Any family lawyers in CA that can help Snick and I out? Altho' I'd be fun to start making up laws, wouldn't it?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I guess I would have been more surprised if he had been totally faithful. I'm so done with politicians and their inability to keep their clothes on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asta Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I guess I would have been more surprised if he had been totally faithful. I'm so done with politicians and their inability to keep their clothes on. I guess I'd be totally surprised if Maria Shriver thought she was marrying the Pope. No woman in her family divorced a philanderer. It wasn't politically expedient to do so. a Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Legally, isn't that true? That if a woman is married, her husband is the legal father of the child? I think the husband is the presumed father of the child, but it's not uncommon in divorce cases for the soon-to-be-ex to demand a paternity test as part of the child support portion. If he can prove that he is not the biological father, that typically absolves him of support obligations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 People screw up.. unfortunately, some people's stuff gets plastered all over the "news". My dh and I have had some tough times here & there over the years - I'm glad our stuff doesn't get hung out for everyone and their dogs. :iagree: Also, I'm not surprised. I would have had Arnold's love child! :lol: Just kidding. I think my mother would have though... He married into the right family- they have accepted adultery for generations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnieB Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I feel sorry for the child. They gave enough information that it's only going to take a day or two for the mother's name to come out (she'd worked for the family for 20 years, retired in January...child is about 10....hmmmm, even as big a staff as they had can't be a lot of choices. ) That child spent the first 10 years of her life believing that the man married to her mother was her Dad. And now she has to deal with the truth. And not privately and on her own timetable, but in the public eye with cameras inevitably following her around constantly. NO child should have to switch gears like that, but to do it in the public eye is just so sad for the child. As for Maria....she defended his "groping" so that he could become Gov....and like so many of the woman in her family (and in politics in general) they put up with a lot for the sake of the power it brings. She is simply too intelligent for me to ever believe she had no clue of his infidelity. Curious when she learned of the child. Could have been years ago and she smiled through the cameras to keep the power....and now that Arnie is done as a politician and going back to his horrible Hollywood habits she's done. If she thought he couldn't keep it zipped before, Hollywood shouldn't wouldn't help. My thoughts and sympathies go to the child in question and to Maria & Arnie's kids....they do NOT deserve to have to deal with this garbage at their ages. They deserve better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Buckin' Longhorn Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Legally, isn't that true? That if a woman is married, her husband is the legal father of the child? Or am I thinking of some really old law? Not prima nocta old, but old. I don't know anything about California, but that most certainly IS true in Texas. The husband IS the LEGAL father of any children born during a marriage and has to go to court to prove otherwise if he doesn't want to be responsible for support of said children in a divorce/separation situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I don't know anything about California, but that most certainly IS true in Texas. The husband IS the LEGAL father of any children born during a marriage and has to go to court to prove otherwise if he doesn't want to be responsible for support of said children in a divorce/separation situation. Thanks, mamacita! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Curious when she learned of the child. He stated that he told her this year. This is so reminding me of The Good Wife. She sticks with him despite some pretty bad stuff, but when the final straw comes, she's outta there. My thoughts and sympathies go to the child in question and to Maria & Arnie's kids....they do NOT deserve to have to deal with this garbage at their ages. They deserve better. :iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dancer67 Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 He married into the right family- they have accepted adultery for generations. :iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AngelBee Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Very sad. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flobee76 Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Ugh... seriously?! How horrible for the family... And what makes me even MORE sad, is that I am not surprised. Marriage means nothing to some people... that is the saddest part of it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 (edited) She worked for them for 20 years. The mother of the child stayed on for 10 years after giving birth? Let me get this math right.. .5 years into the marraige this woman becomes a part of their staff, 5 years later she has the baby and for the next 10 years she is a part of their lives, working through the pregnancy, going on maternity leave, coming back to their home. That's a baby shower gift and a decade worth of salary (plus whatever else) and holiday gifts for her and for someone you do not realize is your husband's 5th child. (That we know of.) The cheating seems the least of it...powerful men are weak because the pickings are great...it's the perpetuation of the myth...and keeping the person as a member of your daily household staff, around your other children and wife !? That is so wrong it makes my head spin. Edited May 17, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnieB Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 First question of course is was this child conceived and born in California? Arnie has only been Gov for 2 terms, so it’s possible the laws of another state would prevail. California paternity law can be very complicated and also very different from many other states. First, a man is "conclusively presumed" to be the father of a child if he is both married to and cohabiting with the mother, as long as he is not sterile or impotent. As I recall the article, it was acknowledged at the mother was married at the time….but were they living together or separated? In law, a "conclusive" presumption usually means that it cannot be rebutted. But this presumption actually can be rebutted, within two years of the child's birth, with blood tests showing that the husband is not the biological father of the child. That's why many divorces also include paternity testing for very young children....just to be sure that Dad doesn't pay 18 years of support for a child that isn't his...it's also a tactic to humiliate the Wife. And sadly, the court condones it by always overruling objections that no infidelity has been accused. Nice eh? Since we can probably presume that if Hubby had found out 8 years ago, he’d wouldn’t have been quiet about it….it sounds like Arnie is off the hook legally as far as supporting the child, or of having himself declared the legal father. And it also means that the child will have an uphill battle being declared an heir. Of course, I fully expect the Husband and child to file suits about emotional distress and maybe even Mom….so that Arnie has to pay someone for something. I'm sure the scuz attorney's are already doing their research. And Arnie will likely pay, if for nothing else than to make it all go away. Poor poor Arnie (do we have a sarcasm icon?). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 She worked for them for 20 years. The mother of the child stayed on for 10 years after giving birth? Let me get this math right.. .5 years into the marraige this woman becomes a part of their staff, 5 years later she has the baby and for the next 10 years she is a part of their lives, working through the pregnancy, going on maternity leave, coming back to their home. That's a baby shower gift and a decade worth of salary (plus whatever else) and holiday gifts for her and for someone you do not realize is your husband's 5th child. (That we know of.) The cheating seems the least of it...powerful men are weak because the pickings are great...it's the perpetuation of the myth...and keeping the person as a member of your daily household staff, around your other children and wife !? That is so wrong it makes my head spin. This. It is the part that makes me sick. That is a betrayal that runs long and deep. I don't believe a wife MUST divorce a husband over cheating...but in this case the 10 year long betrayal would be too much. He (and the cheating mother of his 5th child) could have at least had the decency for her to disappear from their lives. Sickening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 First question of course is was this child conceived and born in California? Arnie has only been Gov for 2 terms, so it’s possible the laws of another state would prevail. California paternity law can be very complicated and also very different from many other states. First, a man is "conclusively presumed" to be the father of a child if he is both married to and cohabiting with the mother, as long as he is not sterile or impotent. As I recall the article, it was acknowledged at the mother was married at the time….but were they living together or separated? In law, a "conclusive" presumption usually means that it cannot be rebutted. But this presumption actually can be rebutted, within two years of the child's birth, with blood tests showing that the husband is not the biological father of the child. That's why many divorces also include paternity testing for very young children....just to be sure that Dad doesn't pay 18 years of support for a child that isn't his...it's also a tactic to humiliate the Wife. And sadly, the court condones it by always overruling objections that no infidelity has been accused. Nice eh? Since we can probably presume that if Hubby had found out 8 years ago, he’d wouldn’t have been quiet about it….it sounds like Arnie is off the hook legally as far as supporting the child, or of having himself declared the legal father. And it also means that the child will have an uphill battle being declared an heir. Of course, I fully expect the Husband and child to file suits about emotional distress and maybe even Mom….so that Arnie has to pay someone for something. I'm sure the scuz attorney's are already doing their research. And Arnie will likely pay, if for nothing else than to make it all go away. Poor poor Arnie (do we have a sarcasm icon?). Oh I bet if enough money was handed over the husband would be quiet. Don't know about the legal....but does it matter at this point since he has publically acknowledged he is the father of the child? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Not surprised. Not even a little bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 He was accused of groping some women during his first campaign and he fooled around with a staff member (who told him it was her husband's baby at the time, before he was in office). And nothing has been published since then, and she's lived with him all that time. But now, the article says she doesn't love him anymore. Honey, If I left my husband when I didn't love him, I would have been gone YEARS ago. Trying to figure out what you are really saying here....Maria was told by the mother of the child that Arnold was the father? Long ago? And so therefore....? What? Maybe that is true and maybe it isn't. If it is true then apparently Arnold denied it...how could Maria prove it to be true? So she chose to believe her husband.....ten years pass and she is told by her husband that yes he is indeed the father of this child. Are you saying she gave up her right to leave the marriage because she didn't leave ten years ago? In MY view, it is the tens worth of lies that sank the marriage. Ten years worth of lies is more than anyone should have to take. It would be the straw that broke the camels back so to speak. (and in fact, I had a similar situation minus the child in my own life and I DID leave after I discovered the truth). I don't think she left him because she doesn't love him anymore. I think she left him because he lied to her for TEN YEARS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Inna* Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Not surprised. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 He's disgusting. I feel very sorry for Maria, although why she put up with him all these years, knowing his philandering nature, I don't know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 "former governor" - Hey I didn't know he wasn't anymore… People screw up.. unfortunately, some people's stuff gets plastered all over the "news". My dh and I have had some tough times here & there over the years - I'm glad our stuff doesn't get hung out for everyone and their dogs. :iagree::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 The article quoted a friend saying she had been very unhappy for a long time. That her parents dying and his governor term ending removed roadblocks to divorcing. Both of those make sense to me as affecting waiting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Buckin' Longhorn Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 (snip) . . . her parents dying and his governor term ending removed roadblocks to divorcing. Both of those make sense to me as affecting waiting. :iagree:It's sad when you have to live your life doing what you "ought" to do rather than what you would like to do. I know we all do it, on some levels, but I don't know if I could do it on the level she has probably had to. I hope she finds some peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMe Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 This sort of thing just tires me. It's always about them and doing what feels good. No surprise though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Not surprised. Not even a little bit. Neither am I. A bit revolted... I think he's gross. I never understood what she saw in him. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdalley Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 He stated that he told her this year. This is so reminding me of The Good Wife. She sticks with him despite some pretty bad stuff, but when the final straw comes, she's outta there. I was thinking the same thing. I hope she packed his stuff like Alica did, found him another place to live and presented him with it. Though, being from the Kennedy clan, she should have been more suspicious perhaps. I never really cared much for Arnie - as an actor or politician. The only movies I liked of his - besides T1 and T2 - was True Lies and mainly that one because of Jamie Lee Curtis. A real scandal would be a politician who is faithful to their spouse - IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I don't believe a wife MUST divorce a husband over cheating...but in this case the 10 year long betrayal would be too much. :iagree: From the media reports, it sounds like he did not tell Maria about the child until after he left office. That floors me. No matter how trite it sounds, everyone makes mistakes. But to deliberately LIE about it, withhold it from your spouse for ten years in order to further yourself for politics, that's shocking and would be the "deal breaker" for me too. I cannot even imagine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 It's amazing how the spouse gets judged after being wounded. No one gets married thinking their spouse is going to cheat, father children other than theirs, go drink with friends and miss a child's event, find p**n on the computer, abuse them, lie... Once married and even more so with children it isn't easy to just walk away. We can only say what we think we would do but don't think they always stay for money and glamour or it's the family life style. Relationships can be very difficult and the older I get the more difficult things I see people work through one way or another. You really can't make a judgement call from afar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 It's amazing how the spouse gets judged after being wounded. No one gets married thinking their spouse is going to cheat, father children other than theirs, go drink with friends and miss a child's event, find p**n on the computer, abuse them, lie... Once married and even more so with children it isn't easy to just walk away. We can only say what we think we would do but don't think they always stay for money and glamour or it's the family life style. Relationships can be very difficult and the older I get the more difficult things I see people work through one way or another. You really can't make a judgement call from afar. Like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 It's amazing how the spouse gets judged after being wounded. No one gets married thinking their spouse is going to cheat, father children other than theirs, go drink with friends and miss a child's event, find p**n on the computer, abuse them, lie... Once married and even more so with children it isn't easy to just walk away. We can only say what we think we would do but don't think they always stay for money and glamour or it's the family life style. Relationships can be very difficult and the older I get the more difficult things I see people work through one way or another. You really can't make a judgement call from afar. Agreed. He screwed up. It doesn't matter if she's a Kennedy. That doesn't mean that she deserved this or that she should have expected it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Singular? That would be a surprise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparkle Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I don't think she deserved it (who does?) or expected it necessarily, but there were definitely warning signs a long time ago. I'm not saying the cheating would be unforgivable, but the groping accusations - those are plainly illegal actions, added to the lying and deceit, then and now. I hope she thinks it was worth it to stay with him all those years. If it were me, I would rather disappoint my parents and the public, assuming they would be disappointed, then live a lie, and face all this humiliation and scandal that being married to a lying, cheating b@stard caused. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prairie~Phlox Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 Nothing surprises me anymore in Hollywood. The only thing that went through my mind today "the sperminator". Spreading his seed where it doesn't belong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OregonNative Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 It sucks that this information had to go public. It's really none of our business. I feel sad for their family. :iagree: It's not our business, nor our right to pass judgement. Plenty of us screw up-it just doesn't show up all over the media! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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