Joker Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 We were invited to the house of one of my dh's co-workers today. We are sort of acquaintances and we watch their dc one night every other week to help them out for a couple of months. He invited us over to have my dh help with some yardwork but to also cook lunch for us as a thank you since we won't accept money for watching his dc. I guess he didn't run it by his wife first though.:glare: She wouldn't come out of her room for the first 2 hrs we were there. Co-worker told my dh she got upset about it days ago so I at least know he didn't spring it on her this morning. She basically decided since it wasn't her idea she shouldn't be expected to do anything. The dc told me their mom said I would take them all to their community pool to go swimming.:001_huh: I had to be the bad guy and say no. I ended up stuck inside playing babysitter/entertainer. My dh got upset and told the guy we would be going but his co-worker asked if we could stay and let the kids play and we would all go to the pool and then eat lunch. I said ok because I knew the kids had been looking forward to it all week. As we're eating lunch after swimming she comes out and sits on the couch and reads. Doesn't say one word to anyone.:001_huh: I then gave my dh the "look" that said he better get me outta there because I was about done holding my tongue. I've never encountered such rudeness from anyone but especially not someone I've been helping out. I might have become a bit upset if dh made those same plans w/out consulting me but I would never have just ignored everyone. If you've read this far -- thanks for letting me rant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yellowperch Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Unless she is suffering from a mental illness--maybe that is a possibility here?--her behavior is worse than shocking. Sorry you had to spend part of your day this way. You really do have rude person story for the ages. Poor kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 :blink: Wow. I can't imagine being rude like that to someone in my home. Even if my DH did forget to mention something to me (which happens, I get that! :glare:) I would NEVER take it out on my guests. And ESPECIALLY if they are helping me out by watching my child regularly. That is incredible. Sorry you had to deal with it. I would have had a hard time holding my tongue, too. :mad: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 She sounds like a spoiled brat and was out for attention. I battle the inner brat in me, so I know. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobinF Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 That is just crazy. I can't imagine treating anyone who was a guest in my home (whether I invited them or not they are still guests) that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Oh my. Is she always like that? If you were watching my kids every other week (!) and helping my dh with yard work (!) - you'd be sitting with your feet up eating steak and drinking wine when you came over. You know what you gotta do in such situations? Take pity on that husband. If he is a nice guy and the kids are nice, you just have to accept that being friends with one doesn't require friendship with both. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mothersweets Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 What?!!! YOU are watching their kids for FREE and she is miffed because her dh invited your family over? Seriously?!! I'm all for being kind and generous and all that, but I'm not sure I'd be so inclined to "help them out" anymore. Sheesh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gooblink Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Wow. You've been watching her kids and she pulls this? I pity her poor dh and kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I wonder if their marriage is just done and she's done with faking it? DH and I definitely know when a couple of friends of ours were going to announce a divorce based upon our last dinner with them. It was awful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 She must have been homeschooled. No socialization skills at all. :glare: :D Seriously, what a jerk. You're a much nicer person than I; there's nothing on earth that would have kept me there with her acting like that. Or my husband would have dragged me out because he would've been afraid of what I would say to her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMe Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 She sounds like she needs a spanking. I'd have left and let her dh deal with it, not your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 Thanks for being so mad with me! :D I've been ticked all afternoon but trying to let it go. Dh feels bad for me and we both feel bad for his co-worker. Dh is sure it will be a bit awkward at work this week. I told dh, under no circumstances, is he ever to accept another invitation. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I would be very tempted to not watch their children anymore and let the husband explain to his wife the consequences of her rudeness to those that have done a lot to help them out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 She sounds like she needs a spanking. I'd have left and let her dh deal with it, not your family. Yep. I would have told dh that he could stay to help with yard work, but I was going home with our kids. She was home and could watch her own kids herself. You wouldn't have been able to talk me into staying. It would have felt uber weird to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 That's beyond rude. She sounds plumb crazy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 On one hand, I agree with everyone who says not to watch the kids anymore, sort of a "so there!" as retribution of sorts for the way she acted. But I wouldn't want to take this out on him or the kids. It's not their fault, and they don't need retribution for this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted March 13, 2011 Author Share Posted March 13, 2011 On one hand, I agree with everyone who says not to watch the kids anymore, sort of a "so there!" as retribution of sorts for the way she acted. But I wouldn't want to take this out on him or the kids. It's not their fault, and they don't need retribution for this. Yep! Sweet kids and dh. He's the one that drops off and picks up anyway so we can avoid her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Take pity on that husband. :iagree: She must have been beyond angry with her husband to justify in her mind treating anyone else that way. Wow. And her poor kids. How embarrassing to have a parent like that (whether or not they know it yet). I'm so sorry you had such a lousy afternoon and were treated so badly. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Yep! Sweet kids and dh. He's the one that drops off and picks up anyway so we can avoid her. Wait! So she has never even met you before today? Wow. I can't for the life of me imagine having someone I had never met watching my kids. Certainly not on a regular basis. That chick is missing some feathers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted March 14, 2011 Author Share Posted March 14, 2011 Wait! So she has never even met you before today? Wow. I can't for the life of me imagine having someone I had never met watching my kids. Certainly not on a regular basis. That chick is missing some feathers. We've met. We've been to their home before for bday parties and they've been to our home for bday parties. Our dhs have worked together for six years. She just hasn't dropped off or picked up when we watch them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 I'm stunned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Well, the friendship evidently doesn't include her...I agree that I wouldn't want to punish the kids or the dh for her rude behavior. The inner-brat in me would want to invite just the dh and kids over for a fun afternoon/dinner next weekend.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Yes, this sounds like an extreme example of the desire to control a situation. I don't know that I'd be babysitting for her any more.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Wow. Just wow! She sounds like a pill! I'm sorry you had such an uncomfortable afternoon - and it's a bit of a slap after you've been helping them out. Do you think your DH would be able to talk with the guy to find out what was going on?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnitWit Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 The inner-brat in me would want to invite just the dh and kids over for a fun afternoon/dinner next weekend.;) :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindyg Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 I wonder if their marriage is just done and she's done with faking it? DH and I definitely know when a couple of friends of ours were going to announce a divorce based upon our last dinner with them. It was awful! Yep. This isn't rude, or at least it's not just rude, and it's not directed at you. She was giving her husband a serious middle finger, right in front of his friends. I'd guess they'll not be married much longer at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Wow! I'd like to hear her side of the story, that's incredible. I wonder what went on before you arrived? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Now the part that gets me is that she knows you and all of you have been to each others houses before. That would make me take it really personal that it was me she all of a sudden had a problem with. I would not have stayed, I would have left and on the way out told the husband. You are a really nice man and I love your children, but I did not come to your house to walk on egg shells or be treated rudely. Next time why don't you and the kids come over and we can have fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Many men (and women) lead lives of quiet desperation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Sheeew. Sounds like that had nothing to do with you. Her Dh made her do something she didn't want to and she showed him! I am all for thanking people with a meal, but for some reason that wasn't a good day for her. And what kind of Dh wouldn't call you and cancel? Really, he made himself look worse by not just making it for another time. There have been days Dh and I got into rip roaring fights and had to cancel things with people because we just couldn't be in public together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Capt_Uhura Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 I actually have a similar story to that. Believe it or not. There is no understanding it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frontier Mom Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Wow, I feel sorry for her poor dh. If she acts this way, he probably has a miserable life. At least you didn't retaliate which probably spoke volumes about your character to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 I wonder if their marriage is just done and she's done with faking it? DH and I definitely know when a couple of friends of ours were going to announce a divorce based upon our last dinner with them. It was awful! Yep. This isn't rude, or at least it's not just rude, and it's not directed at you. She was giving her husband a serious middle finger, right in front of his friends. I'd guess they'll not be married much longer at all. Wow! I'd like to hear her side of the story, that's incredible. I wonder what went on before you arrived? Many men (and women) lead lives of quiet desperation. Sheeew. Sounds like that had nothing to do with you. Her Dh made her do something she didn't want to and she showed him! I am all for thanking people with a meal, but for some reason that wasn't a good day for her. And what kind of Dh wouldn't call you and cancel? Really, he made himself look worse by not just making it for another time. There have been days Dh and I got into rip roaring fights and had to cancel things with people because we just couldn't be in public together. :iagree:I'm sure it was miserable for you guys. I think she is done with faking it, and I'm personally shocked that her dh went forward with the get together. It sounds like he really set you guys up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 we watch their dc one night every other week to help them out Holy Cow. You care for her children and she couldn't give you the time of day because *she* wasn't the one who invited you? I don't care how much she hates the man she's married to. She could behave like an adult and offer her thanks for the time and effort you have contributed to *her* children. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Holy Cow.You care for her children and she couldn't give you the time of day because *she* wasn't the one who invited you? I don't care how much she hates the man she's married to. She could behave like an adult and offer her thanks for the time and effort you have contributed to *her* children. :001_huh: I get that. Really, I do. But there are some days you just can't fake it, and it's less gracious to fake it than to just cancel. Her Dh should have canceled (And I'm betting since he made the date, she wanted him to cancel). If they watch the kids once a week, it could have easily been made for another day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 (edited) Many men (and women) lead lives of quiet desperation. :iagree: I am surprised how many think she did this out of spite. It sounds more like mental illness to me, an Axis II disorder to be specific. Edited March 14, 2011 by The Dragon Academy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 :iagree:I'm sure it was miserable for you guys. I think she is done with faking it, and I'm personally shocked that her dh went forward with the get together. It sounds like he really set you guys up. This is the conclusion dh and I came to when I told him about it. If either of us knew the other was that upset and dead set against something, we would have called to cancel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crissy Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 there are some days you just can't fake it, and it's less gracious to fake it than to just cancel. Nobody made her come out of the bedroom to read on the couch and prove her displeasure with the guests. That's not faking it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shalom22 Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 Wow, if you lived in Texas, I would swear you were talking about my SIL. That is exactly how she treats us when we go to visit with them. I have all but stopped going up there. I can stay home instead of being ignored like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 I am so sorry for all involved! That sounds like something my mom would do. Before and after her mini stroke. Today she sat next to me and my dd at ds's tournament and refused to talk to us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 That poor man married to her! Wow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 :iagree: I am surprised how many think she did this out of spite. It sounds more like mental illness to me, an Axis II disorder to be specific. Or absolutely at her wits end with a "street angel, house devil" husband. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 This is the conclusion dh and I came to when I told him about it. If either of us knew the other was that upset and dead set against something, we would have called to cancel. Yeah, I had my dh read it as well. He said, "That man set everyone else up for heartache, so he could get some free help for his yard. He knew his wife did not want company." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 I can't imagine she was retaining what she was reading. (How To Win Friends and Influence People?) Not sure why she just didn't leave the house and go shopping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 She sounds like a nut, but you probably don't and can't know the complete inside story. I'd avoid any kind of social situation with both the wife and the husband - way to ackward. I kinda blame the husband, too. If he suspected his wife would behave like this he really shouldn't have scheduled the visit or, at least, called it off. He is a bit bizarro to tolerate this behavior from his spouse. If my dh was behaving like this, I wouldn't subject my friends to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 We had a relative that did something similar and it had nothing to do with the social situation. It was all about something going on between them.:huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sewingmama Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 (edited) Or absolutely at her wits end with a "street angel, house devil" husband All I'm going to say is - that I've been there and I feel sorry for the woman and can make a fair guess why she did that. I wouldn't assume mental illness - I would assume a woman that is repeatedly never respected and thus no longer has any respect for her DH or cares what other people think of her. Wow, I feel sorry for her poor dh. If she acts this way, he probably has a miserable life. I'm sure that's how many friends of my DH think of me - oh if they only knew. Edited March 14, 2011 by sewingmama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 So when you watch the kids, are they going to marriage counseling? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 You can bet I'd be through doing favors for those whack jobs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
indigomama Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 It sounds a lot like my MIL. She is almost always reading or doing laundry when we come over, and we only see them once a year! This Thanksgiving, my in-laws hosted the dinner for a lot of family, including my mom. The next day, my mom said "wow, she must be feeling good, she said hi to me when we came in"! My DH says she's shy, and uncomfortable, but she's not like that with everyone. I just give her, her space. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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