KristinaBreece Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I found out last night that my DH has a substance abuse problem. I feel so stupid. It never occurred to me. No wonder money seemed so much tighter in the last year. I'm so hurt by this, I don't know how to sort it out within myself. He's checking into an inpatient detoxification program today. He'll be gone for 4 days up to a few weeks, I think. I think this is going to be the most difficult thing we ever go through. My DC are with my MIL right now, so I can take him down there. They've never spent a night without their daddy... and in the last 7 years, neither have I. I need a lot of prayers right now, for my DH, my DC... and for me. I've joked in the past that I must be Supermom... and now I feel like I will really need to be. Thanks in advance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarlaB Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Absolutely praying for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Praying for you :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug: Huge hugs. i'm glad he's going to try to do something about it. if you can find a spousal support group, that can help a lot. (alanon, narcanon both have groups for families of addicts) you can both do this! :grouphug: ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckymama Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug: It's a very good thing he's willing to get some help :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Praying for you ! (((HUGS))) Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCoffeeChick Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I had a friend who went through this a few years ago. Her grace toward her husband, her patience, resilience, etc--have inspired me to this day. :grouphug: I don't know what to say, but I hope you are all well & that everything is much better very soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I found out last night that my DH has a substance abuse problem. I feel so stupid. It never occurred to me. No wonder money seemed so much tighter in the last year. I'm so hurt by this, I don't know how to sort it out within myself. He's checking into an inpatient detoxification program today. He'll be gone for 4 days up to a few weeks, I think. I think this is going to be the most difficult thing we ever go through. My DC are with my MIL right now, so I can take him down there. They've never spent a night without their daddy... and in the last 7 years, neither have I. I need a lot of prayers right now, for my DH, my DC... and for me. I've joked in the past that I must be Supermom... and now I feel like I will really need to be. Thanks in advance. :grouphug::grouphug:Prayers for you all:grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Kristina there are people who hide their use for years from their family. I'm so sorry you're going through this. :grouphug: On the bright side, I'm so glad to hear that your husband is going in for treatment. He's taken the first step in putting his life back in order. It won't be easy for him, and it won't be easy for you or your children, but it's worth the work and struggle. His treatment facility should have a family counseling department and will probably arrange for you to meet with them. Take advantage of all they have to offer for you and for the children. I'd also suggest getting involved in Al Anon, which is a 12 step program for family members. You can get a lot of support there from others who have been through this - you don't have to do it alone. Support your husband and take good care of yourself. You will all be in my prayers. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Kristina there are people who hide their use for years from their family. I'm so sorry you're going through this. :grouphug: On the bright side' date=' I'm so glad to hear that your husband is going in for treatment. He's taken the first step in putting his life back in order. It won't be easy for him, and it won't be easy for you or your children, but it's worth the work and struggle. His treatment facility should have a family counseling department and will probably arrange for you to meet with them. Take advantage of all they have to offer for you and for the children. I'd also suggest getting involved in Al Anon, which is a 12 step program for family members. You can get a lot of support there from others who have been through this - you don't have to do it alone. Support your husband and take good care of yourself. You will all be in my prayers. :grouphug:[/quote'] :iagree:I'm sorry sweetie! Take care of you!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 So sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
awstgs Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 praying for you and your family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsrevmeg Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug: So sorry :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TCB Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I, too, will be praying for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 praying, hon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug: Praying for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I found out last night that my DH has a substance abuse problem. I feel so stupid. It never occurred to me. Don't feel that way. I was duped and I was an MD at the time. "Everyone" saw it but me. Users can be incredibly sneaky. I never saw it, or smelled it on him, and I have a very sensitive nose. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Praying! i am so sorry you're going thru this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug: Don't forget to take care of yourself during all of this, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melanie in WI Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I'm praying for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug: and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Kristina there are people who hide their use for years from their family. I'm so sorry you're going through this. :grouphug: On the bright side' date=' I'm so glad to hear that your husband is going in for treatment. He's taken the first step in putting his life back in order. It won't be easy for him, and it won't be easy for you or your children, but it's worth the work and struggle. His treatment facility should have a family counseling department and will probably arrange for you to meet with them. Take advantage of all they have to offer for you and for the children. I'd also suggest getting involved in Al Anon, which is a 12 step program for family members. You can get a lot of support there from others who have been through this - you don't have to do it alone. Support your husband and take good care of yourself. You will all be in my prayers. :grouphug:[/quote'] :iagree::iagree: Yes, avail yourself to the information, support, services and counseling the center offers. Addicts do better in healthy familes. You might find some relief and "ok, that makes sense now" as you understand the progression of addiction and look back on your recent years. If you have any questions about addiction (or recovery) or need info on the "how to respond" side from the family perspective, I am available and willing in PM. {{hugs}} PS: In case you don't know, I celebrate 20 years of clean/sober in May, have been an active Al Anon member for 15 of those years in addition to more recent education in the field. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MtnTeaching Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Most men I have known find it extremely difficult to admit they need help, much less to ask for it and to actually do something about it. This is a HUGE step in the right direction. Hopefully, he understands how important this decision is in his life, as well as, your life and the lives of your children. I pray that you will be able to be strong for him and for your children. I can't imagine the hurt and resentment you must feel. Hopefully, this will be a growing moment for both of you and for your marriage.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2denj Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Kristina, I am sending prayers up for you and you dh! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamrachelle Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Prayers and :grouphug: from here too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Praying for you and your family. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I'm so sorry! I'm sure I and many others on this board will pray for your situation. I guess one plus is that he's seeking treatment. In many cases it's YEARS before someone gets to the point where they do that, with all kinds of suffering along the way. This will be difficult, but not impossible! Your family is already on the right path. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiegirl Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug: and prayers for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I understand what you are going through. My DH is attending AA and Al-Anon meetings consistently for the first time in his life. Although he has been in counseling for years due to Family of Origin issues, it has taken years for him (and his counselors) to admit that he had actual substance abuse issues and was not just "blowing off steam" like a middle aged frat boy. Like yours, my DH kept it away from the family too - thankfully for the kids. Take advantage of any counseling you can get, and I agree Al Anon is excellent. So sorry you are going through this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug: and prayers for you, your kids, and your husband. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepymommy Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabelen Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug: Praying for strength for your husband and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 :grouphug: Praying for you and your family! I'm a product of a parent who was/still is a substance abuser. For the sake of you and your children, do get help for yourselves. My mother did not do this for herself or for us, and at 37 years old, I'm now in a recovery group trying to sort out my past and its effects on me over the years. If you are a Christian, try to see if local churches offer the Celebrate Recovery program. It's a faith-based 12-step program, and it has changed my life immensely. If you are not, Al-Anon would be another great choice for you and your kids. It is wonderful news that your dh is seeking help - stepping out of denial is extremely difficult, and for him to do this is a beautiful thing! Hang in there. We are here supporting you as well! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted March 3, 2011 Author Share Posted March 3, 2011 Wow. Thank you all for your prayers & support. They mean the world to me. We just got home from the treatment center. They did an intake assessment & drug testing, but had one patient who was supposed to go home today that, for whatever reason, did not. The counselor who DH spoke with told us that they will be calling him in the morning after they do discharge rounds, and they'll arrange an appointment for him to check in. After that, detox takes 3-7 days, and the medical program takes up to 10 days, after which they have a residential program if they decide he needs it at that point. The good news of the day is that our insurance is going to cover (maybe not all, but most of) the cost. Praise Jesus. The counselor also told DH that he is sure they can help him, and that this is the kind of place he needs to be in. It is based at the best hospital in the area, and that makes me feel a little better about it. Ok. First hill=conquered. Moving on to the next challenge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I'm so sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbabe Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 Wow. Thank you all for your prayers & support. They mean the world to me. We just got home from the treatment center. They did an intake assessment & drug testing, but had one patient who was supposed to go home today that, for whatever reason, did not. The counselor who DH spoke with told us that they will be calling him in the morning after they do discharge rounds, and they'll arrange an appointment for him to check in. After that, detox takes 3-7 days, and the medical program takes up to 10 days, after which they have a residential program if they decide he needs it at that point. The good news of the day is that our insurance is going to cover (maybe not all, but most of) the cost. Praise Jesus. The counselor also told DH that he is sure they can help him, and that this is the kind of place he needs to be in. It is based at the best hospital in the area, and that makes me feel a little better about it. Ok. First hill=conquered. Moving on to the next challenge. May I gently correct you? The first hill was your DH's willingness to get help. :001_smile: The second was your support. :) Praying for you. My offer for prive pm support stands, anytime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blakereese Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kchara Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted March 3, 2011 Author Share Posted March 3, 2011 May I gently correct you? The first hill was your DH's willingness to get help. :001_smile: The second was your support. :) Praying for you. My offer for prive pm support stands, anytime. I stand gently (and very rightly) corrected. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 3, 2011 Share Posted March 3, 2011 I stand gently (and very rightly) corrected. :001_smile: :grouphug::grouphug: I've seen people and families transformed beyond measure who started right where you are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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