Crazy/Inappropriate Gifts

[Retired]

In all fairness, he DID have a "real" gift hidden behind the sofa, for me. :tongue_smilie: I don't remember what that gift was, but I sure will never forget that first box!

 

So he really likes jokes, did you ever try to get him back, just wondering its never to late to repay a sibling such kindness:D this thread can give you some ideas:lol:

[gardening momma]

So he really likes jokes, did you ever try to get him back, just wondering its never to late to repay a sibling such kindness:D this thread can give you some ideas:lol:

Give him a nice Christmas sweater.

[Miss Sherry]

DS was premature, born the day after Christmas. My grandma mailed a cute "Baby's First Christmas" outfit for him. Size: 3 months.

I couldn't figure out if she expected me to dress him in the outfit in May (when it did fit him) or if she thought he would still be that small the following Christmas?

 

My grandma would also buy a package of women's underwear and open it up to give all the females one pair of underwear. Everyone - no matter the size or age got the same exact undies. :lol: Men shared a package of tube socks. One year she gave my sister men's tube socks on accident and my uncle received women's underwear. My sister fought hard to keep those socks!

 

FIL gave DS a glass jar filled with hard butterscotch candies for DS's first Christmas. Because all one-year-olds can eat hard candies?!

Then nothing for seven years... Until this year - FIL sent DS a Christmas/birthday card that said, "Bah Humbug. Can't get in the mood this year. This is all you get." Um. I would gladly take the past seven years when he didn't even mail a card.

 

First year DH and I were married (20+ years ago), MIL gave DH a T-shirt from his college's big rival. (Both big colleges in that state.) DH looked sincerely shocked by the school's logo when he opened the gift. MIL said she couldn't remember which school he went to, so just picked up the first one she saw.

This is all so funny I can barely type because it's making me laugh so much. :lol::lol::lol:

[Miss Sherry]

When I was 17 (senior in hs) my mother gave me a gift. The clues were, "You'll be able to take it to school and work." She was sooo excited to give it to me and told me I would LOVE it.

 

It was a wooden cane with a brass duck head. Can you imagine me showing up in a public high school with a cane? Or at a job? Social suicide.

 

And I don't need a cane. I walk perfectly normally. She just imagined me walking around school and work (I worked at NSA) swinging my cane like Charlie Chapman.

If you still have that thing :D you could get some holiday use out of it. :lol: Paint it or decorate it with some type of ribbon to make it look like a candy cane and put a tiny Santa hat on the ducks head. Then take Christmas photos of you with it and send them to your Mom. :lol::lol::lol:

[Miss Sherry]

When my youngest daughter was little, my Mom sent her a stuffed bear/angel with wings on it that had a recorded message in a creepy voice that said "I'm your guardian angel,I'm your special friend" Every time that creepy voice came on I couldn't stop from laughing hysterically and so did all of my kids. That thing found a new home at the Goodwill. :lol:

 

When I was in my early 20's my Mom sent me a couple of dusters for Christmas. She asked me if I had been wearing them and I could only truthfully tell her no. Hey, she knew I never wore dusters. She told me that now I could start.Oh, really ? Those things got exchanged for some extra cute new pj's. :lol::lol::lol:

[Delighted3]

When my Dad died, he didn't leave anything directly to his kids in his will. Everything was at the discretion of my step-mom. A couple of years after he died, she sent us some Christmas ornaments that were supposedly his. I had never seen them before. They were the 12 days of Christmas. The problem is, there was only 8. She couldn't find the rest.

 

She also gave me a crocheted Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus that my Grandmother crocheted. I think they are the tackiest things ever, but the really funny part is that my kids love them. It is the highlight of getting out the Christmas decorations to set up Mr. and Mrs. Santa Claus. :lol:

 

One year, my mother-in-law gave my 3 yo dd a barbie for Christmas. Problem is that it was an off brand and it looked like a working girl, if you know what I mean. Sister-in-law nicknamed it "Pr*stitute Barbie"

 

I love this thread. That doll head has been making laugh for the last 10 minutes and the embalming fluid was a very "special" gift.

Merry Christmas to all,

Joy

[Farmgirl70]

I have to say first, that my MIL is generally pretty good about getting the kids things that they would like. However, she began the tradition of getting them a new ornament every year when they were small. It was good when they were little, but the last few years we've had some good laughs over her choices:

 

1. Last year DS got a HUGE Darth Sidius ornament for the tree. I am still speechless about this one? My son asked me if Grandma knew that he is the evil guy. Not sure why she thought we might want to hang the Sith Lord on the tree...

 

2. I guess we could put him next to the two puffer fish. Yes, real dead puffer fish. Dried out.

 

3. or next to the matching Ken-like hiker boys with green shorts, tall socks and backpacks.

 

4. Or, finally, right next to Harry Potter and Hermione Granger.

 

I just wonder if it might be time to give the ornaments a break for a year or two....

[Ravin]

I've come back to this thread several times this evening, it's been hilarious. I couldn't not post.

 

Probably the one that takes the cake for me was when I was about 13. My paternal grandma sent my sisters and I each a pair of bunny slippers...in kids' sizes. I think my sisters' actually might have fit them, but there was NO WAY mine did. Instead, my mom let me have the gift the same gma (her MIL, come to think of it) had given her--a pair of incredibly gaudy holiday socks with separated toes.

 

This same grandma once sent us a box of ramen noodles. No note, no holiday, no explanation, and shipping had to have cost more than the noodles did...

 

One year I made a regifting snafu. I gave a rain stick to my best friend's DD. Her DD loved it, but best friend was miffed because as a teen I'd recieved that same rain stick from HER parents. Oops.

 

And then there was the year I won the Wrapping Escalation Contest. For several years, my best friend and I had been escalating how thoroughly presents were wrapped. After recieving one wrapped in about twenty plastic bags and 2 boxes, I decided to go all out...I think there were about 15 different layers, including cloth, plastic, complete encasement in duck tape, and having the gift canned. The end result was a large box, and inside was a piece of jewelry.

 

After that my best friend started using gift bags.:tongue_smilie:

[Jyniffrec]

I thought you might have done something like that. It would be creepy to have kept it, but sort of wrong to have thrown it in the trash.

 

Cat

 

He was kind of different, I'll say that, but he meant well. He thought that it helped the baby breathe. I think that it turns out that they are actually very bad to put babies on.

[Alice]

Oh my goodness, there are too many funny stories here.

 

My SIL is not a good gift giver, typically she just gets the same thing for everyone. Usually it's something she picks up while traveling (she does medical missions) and is ok, even if odd (ceramic salt and pepper shakers or a straw picnic mat).

 

One year though she gave me and her sister a bag full of pantyhose. It was a high end expensive brand, but still. Pantyhose. And for me it was completely the wrong size. I suppose I should have been flattered as she guessed way too small for me, but still. I freecycled them to a very very happy woman. :)

 

The same SIL was the only person to give me lingerie at my wedding shower. I knew her heart was in the right place but it was pretty awkward to unwrap in front of everyone in our fairly conserative church. And especially awkward coming from dh's sister.

[freerange]

This thread really IS chock full of purchasing ideas. Christmas shopping will be a breeze this year! :D

 

Merry Christmas!

:lol:

 

Oh, and MomsintheGarden - :grouphug:

[Heather in Neverland]

My in-laws give us the strangest, most random things....

 

1. a key chain of a pig and when you squeeze it, fake poop comes out its rear end

 

2. a t-shirt that said "Eat Sh*t" in spanish...my FIL thought it was clever since I speak spanish.

 

3. battery-powered wool socks

 

4. an assortment of nail clippers

 

5. a sock monkey

 

6. and last year they gave my ds one of those fire-safe boxes you put your important documents in. He was 11yo. :tongue_smilie:

 

I could go one but I'll spare you. :D

 

One more great thing about moving to Malaysia....no more WEIRD gifts from the in-laws. We told them customs would confiscate them. :lol::lol::lol:

[Paisley Hedgehog]

..

[Kipling]

None of my relatives (or in-laws) are as bad as these, but I'll share my funniest gift (I choose to think of it as funny, not insulting).

 

The occasion: my birthday (I can't remember specifically, but definitely upper 20s)

The gift: a roll of Scotch tape

The reason behind the gift: Ever since I can remember, before going to bed, my mom washes her faces, brushes her teeth, and puts a piece of scotch tape on her forehead between her eyebrows. This is to prevent wrinkles from forming.

 

P.S. it must work. My mother looks great - easily 10-20 years younger than she actually is, and her mother always did it too. I must admit though, that roll of tape went to other purposes. DH would fall off the bed laughing if I were to try it.

[RegGuheert]

 

This is to prevent wrinkles from forming.

...or a unibrow! ;)

[Chelle in MO]

None of my relatives (or in-laws) are as bad as these, but I'll share my funniest gift (I choose to think of it as funny, not insulting).

 

The occasion: my birthday (I can't remember specifically, but definitely upper 20s)

The gift: a roll of Scotch tape

The reason behind the gift: Ever since I can remember, before going to bed, my mom washes her faces, brushes her teeth, and puts a piece of scotch tape on her forehead between her eyebrows. This is to prevent wrinkles from forming.

 

P.S. it must work. My mother looks great - easily 10-20 years younger than she actually is, and her mother always did it too. I must admit though, that roll of tape went to other purposes. DH would fall off the bed laughing if I were to try it.

 

Oh, Kristen...that is just TOO funny! I'm thinking that if my dh wears a CPAP mask to bed, I could get away with Scotch tape! :lol:

 

I have to tell one on myself...I saw a shirt that said "Welcome to the Gun Show" on clearance at Wally World for $3. Knowing my fil is a Wal-Mart wardrobe kinda guy and loves going to gun shows (you can see what's coming, can't you???), but not understanding the cartoon picture of the guy on the front of the shirt showing off his biceps, I bought it thinking it would be kinda funny. You know, who'da thought there's really a "Gun Show" t-shirt for guys who go to (real) gun shows?

 

I didn't think it was nearly as funny as my dh did when I showed it to him and he knew I didn't get the reference. He got my teenagers in on the laugh and they all had a ball at my expense!

 

I gave it to fil anyway! No, I've never seen it on him. He probably posts on a gun forum about the crazy gift he got from his dil!

 

:tongue_smilie:

[happyhomemaker25]

I have been reading and reading and trying to remember a weird gift. I guess my mom is really good at gifting and the inlaws always give us gift cards. However growing up Dh did have some doozies.

One year he got a warehouse sized bottle of Pert Plus from his mom and dad. I think he was like 16.

Another year they went all out and bought him a jogging suit and a big gold chain. That was the year he was 14 or 15. My DH is a total computer geek with button up shirts and jeans. LOL

 

But my weird gift was really creepy.

My supervisor, a woman, gave me a slinky nightgown with see through robe.

My best friend fell out of her chair laughing, my husband spewed coke out of his nose. I remember just sitting there staring at it with a look of shock.

Thankfully she'd put the receipt in the box. Don't think I did not run out that day and exchange it.

[Catwoman]

:smilielol5:This thread is just priceless! My grandmother died last week and this has been a great pick-me-up. Thanks!

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

I'm very sorry about your grandmother.

 

Cat

[PB&J's Mom]

My grandpa gave ds7 a butt bank that farts everytime you put a coin in the crack!!!

 

My three boys almost fell off the couch when I told them about that one! THEY WOULD LOVE IT!!!!:lol:

[chickenpatty]

Bahahaha!! That is so funny!!

[Jean in Newcastle]

The same SIL was the only person to give me lingerie at my wedding shower. I knew her heart was in the right place but it was pretty awkward to unwrap in front of everyone in our fairly conserative church. And especially awkward coming from dh's sister.

 

I was at a wedding shower where the bride-to-be insisted on modeling the lingerie for us - even though we were insisting that she not do it!

[Catwoman]

I was at a wedding shower where the bride-to-be insisted on modeling the lingerie for us - even though we were insisting that she not do it!

 

:eek: :eek: :eek:

 

Awkward....

 

Cat

[Alenee]

I don't think mine are as funny as the others here. They all came from my dear mil who obviously has to stretch to think of gifts for our family.

 

One year, she gave my 1yo dd a blue sweatsuit with a football on it. :confused: We let dd wear it anyway but I still shake my head in wonder...

 

In my teenage years I collected boxes and after I got married I inherited a few odds and ends from my parents. One item was an elephant shaped box. I only kept it because it was a box, NOT because it was an elephant. But a friend had also given me a cool little elephant lamp and so mil thought I was collecting elephants. I've since received an elephant statue and an elephant head on a stick. :lol: I'm curious if the package that showed up recently will contain a new elephant of some sort...

 

Now, mil's new thing is to give me books and kits for homeopathy. I ask her about her practice here and there because it's a big part of her life...I'm mildly interested in the using of homeopathy but not to the extent she is, where it would take every waking moment to analyze every little thing my body does. But now I am the proud owner of several books and kits. One kit is a child-birthing kit...and I've had a hysterectomy. :001_huh:

[MelanieM]

Now, mil's new thing is to give me books and kits for homeopathy. I ask her about her practice here and there because it's a big part of her life...I'm mildly interested in the using of homeopathy but not to the extent she is, where it would take every waking moment to analyze every little thing my body does. But now I am the proud owner of several books and kits. One kit is a child-birthing kit...and I've had a hysterectomy. :001_huh:

 

Hey, if you ever need someone to take those kits off your hands I bet I could find you a line-up of people! (Likely with myself at the head. :lol:) But weird about the child-birthing kit... <scratches head>

[Catwoman]

Hey, if you ever need someone to take those kits off your hands I bet I could find you a line-up of people! (Likely with myself at the head. :lol:) But weird about the child-birthing kit... <scratches head>

 

But if you take them, I'm pretty sure Carli will make you take the elephant head on a stick, too.

 

It's only fair. ;)

 

Cat

[MelanieM]

But if you take them, I'm pretty sure Carli will make you take the elephant head on a stick, too.

 

It's only fair. ;)

 

Cat

 

:lol::lol::lol: As long as it's not the farting butt crack bank.

[Alenee]

But if you take them, I'm pretty sure Carli will make you take the elephant head on a stick, too.

 

It's only fair. ;)

 

Cat

 

This made me look over to my kitchen window to look at the elephant head on a stick...yes, I kept it! But it's MISSING! I've been kinda forgetful lately...I wonder if I tossed it. ;)

 

And about the homeopathy kits...I use them but I can't fathom why she hyper-focuses on this stuff! She even sent me an e-mail with links to different homeopathy/naturopathy schools.

[MelanieM]

Carli, maybe she's thinking she's found something you have a shared interest in so it's her way of being close to you? It's kind of sweet that she wants to share her excitement with you! And that might explain giving you a childbirth kit... maybe she thinks you'll use it with your friends! (Yeah, that one is still odd.)

[Alenee]

I thought of a few more. Come to think of it, weird gift-giving runs in dh's family.

 

For our wedding, mil gave us a collage on construction paper.

 

For my 21st birthday, while pregnant with dd #1, I was feeling sad because I couldn't do anything fun. I had high hopes for a great gift from dh. Instead, he handed me a brown paper bag and inside was a mini windchime from the 7-11. He didn't do any better for Christmas two months later. He shopped at McFrugal's and bought me a glider rocking chair but of course, the cheap price bit him. When he went to put it together, one arm was shorter than the other making it impossible to put together.

 

When dd was born, dh's brother gave her a full set of Telletubby dolls. :rolleyes:

[Alenee]

Carli, maybe she's thinking she's found something you have a shared interest in so it's her way of being close to you? It's kind of sweet that she wants to share her excitement with you! And that might explain giving you a childbirth kit... maybe she thinks you'll use it with your friends! (Yeah, that one is still odd.)

 

Oh it totally is her way of sharing something with me. I get that. And it's totally okay. :) It's also her odd way of making everything about homeopathy because really, you can't have a conversation with her w/o it coming up.

[Forget-Me-Not]

 

3. battery-powered wool socks

 

 

So, what do they DO? Put themselves on your feet? Vibrate? Heat up like an electric blanket?

[DaffodilDreams]

I ran across this thread last night when I was supposed to be wrapping gifts. Thanks, ladies (and gent). Because of you all, I was up much later than I planned. But, the laughter therapy did me so much good! This is my favorite thread of this whole year!!!! I may have to subscribe to it, so I can find it again and read it when I need a pick-me-up.

 

My gift stories are not nearly as good as some already posted, but here you go.

 

1) Several years ago my mother gave my dh a bust of Beethoven. Keep in mind, she had known him for about 10 years at the time, and he has never been a fan of classical music. Van Halen, yes. Beethoven? Ummm, no. The kicker is (like all of her gifts), she left the price tag on. I suppose we should be glad about that because dh returned it and bought a shirt with the money.

 

This next story is more about odd gift-giving behavior than the actual gift.

 

2) My mother had the habit of giving my dd gifts when she was a baby and then calling up out of the blue a few years later and asking me to return them to her. This wasn't an isolated case, and they weren't family heirlooms. Most of them were garage sale stuffed animals or small toys. ? ? ? :001_huh:

[Garga]

If you still have that thing :D you could get some holiday use out of it. :lol: Paint it or decorate it with some type of ribbon to make it look like a candy cane and put a tiny Santa hat on the ducks head. Then take Christmas photos of you with it and send them to your Mom. :lol::lol::lol:

 

The thing is, I do still have the cane. I got it when I was 17, and I'm turning 38 next week. It's been 21 years. It sits in the corner of the closet, not taking up any space.

 

I keep thinking that maybe, one day, when I'm old and grey, or my dh is old and grey, we might need it...

[ElizabethB]

Several people have given me earrings.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My ears are not pierced.

 

I donate them or send them to my mother if they are her style, she appreciates the mistakes!

[AlmiraGulch]

 

1. a key chain of a pig and when you squeeze it, fake poop comes out its rear end

 

 

My father gave this same pig to all of his younger grandchildren! We love it, though, so what does that say about us? :tongue_smilie:

[Cherryanne]

 

 

We still have it, and DH and I occasionally pull it out and hide it somewhere for the other one (imagine that thing draped over a gallon of milk in the fridge. . . ).

 

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[Catwoman]

My mother had the habit of giving my dd gifts when she was a baby and then calling up out of the blue a few years later and asking me to return them to her.

 

Well, of course she did. She needed them back so she could give them to someone else. :glare:

 

Makes perfect sense... ;)

 

Cat

[CAMom]

So I got this little beauty one year for Christmas from my stepmom. I regifted it in a white elephant gift exchange. It won the award for strangest gift.:lol:

 

Here's the thing...she got me another one last year.:001_huh: I think she forgot that she'd gotten me the same thing several years ago.;)

[Alphabetika]

So I got this little beauty one year for Christmas from my stepmom. I regifted it in a white elephant gift exchange. It won the award for strangest gift.:lol:

 

Here's the thing...she got me another one last year.:001_huh: I think she forgot that she'd gotten me the same thing several years ago.;)

 

 

Ronette,

 

Kenzie and I are guffawing!!! I love this thread. I love Christmas. I love the creepy baby-head. I love the elephant head on a stick.

 

But not the bank.

 

:lol::lol::lol:

[brehon]

LOL

I was a couple months away from having our third when they did that.

And I AM pregnant this Christmas!

 

I think they've finally given up hope.

 

Hey! Congratulations!! May you have an uneventful pregnancy and delivery!

[Kirch]

3. battery-powered wool socks

 

 

 

So, what do they DO? Put themselves on your feet? Vibrate? Heat up like an electric blanket?

 

I was wondering that too . . .

[sagira]

Okay, I'll play. First, a little background information. I'm most definitely not a girly girl, have 7 pairs of shoes, which consist of crocs, wide sandals, and wide sneakers (my feet are wide, and I like comfort). A friend of dh's got me toe separators for women who wear pumps all day :confused:

 

It was nice she thought of me, and didn't expect anything, but I just had to chuckle when I opened it :001_smile:

 

I have no use for it.

[Meriwether]

I was wondering that too . . .

 

Sometimes hunters use them to keep warm(er).

[AlmiraGulch]

I know this is a little late, but someone sent this to me today and I immediately thought of this thread. :D

 

Enjoy!

 

 

 

ETA: This one is even better (and a minute shorter)! It's the sequel to the one posted above. Cracking up!

 

 

Edited December 23, 2010 by QValencia

[SquirrellyMama]

I know this is a little late, but someone sent this to me today and I immediately thought of this thread. :D

 

Enjoy!

 

 

 

ETA: This one is even better (and a minute shorter)! It's the sequel to the one posted above. Cracking up!

 

 

 

:lol: I like the guy who proposed at the gym.

[Murphy101]

Me too! You gotta want to multiply! :lol:

[stripe]

I actually jumped a little when I pulled it out, and then I laughed until I cried. We still have it, and DH and I occasionally pull it out and hide it somewhere for the other one (imagine that thing draped over a gallon of milk in the fridge. . . ). My 2 yo was wandering around with it today talking about how 'pretty' it was, LOL.

I think that doll head / blanket combo is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

 

My grandmother gave my 3 year old son a lavender with yellow highlights sweater. We just smiled, thankfully, he was young enough to not really notice when it was opened. Gave it to a friend with a daughter.

Hey, that can go with the pink princess composition book my son was given, and some frilly hair bands.

Edited December 23, 2010 by stripe

[regentrude]

One item was an elephant shaped box. I only kept it because it was a box, NOT because it was an elephant. But a friend had also given me a cool little elephant lamp and so mil thought I was collecting elephants. I've since received an elephant statue and an elephant head on a stick. :lol: I'm curious if the package that showed up recently will contain a new elephant of some sort...

 

 

I had an Indian friend who gave us two beautiful wooden elephants which I put on my bookshelf in the living room. People thought I am collecting elephants and there are now thirty of them marching along the shelf. Everybody thinks I collect them- but they somehow just find me.

[Guest Cheryl in SoCal]

Oh, Kristen...that is just TOO funny! I'm thinking that if my dh wears a CPAP mask to bed, I could get away with Scotch tape! :lol:

 

I have to tell one on myself...I saw a shirt that said "Welcome to the Gun Show" on clearance at Wally World for $3. Knowing my fil is a Wal-Mart wardrobe kinda guy and loves going to gun shows (you can see what's coming, can't you???), but not understanding the cartoon picture of the guy on the front of the shirt showing off his biceps, I bought it thinking it would be kinda funny. You know, who'da thought there's really a "Gun Show" t-shirt for guys who go to (real) gun shows?

 

I didn't think it was nearly as funny as my dh did when I showed it to him and he knew I didn't get the reference. He got my teenagers in on the laugh and they all had a ball at my expense!

 

I gave it to fil anyway! No, I've never seen it on him. He probably posts on a gun forum about the crazy gift he got from his dil!

 

:tongue_smilie:

I don't get the reference either, mind explaining to someone as equally as clueless:confused:

[Pink Fairy]

"Guns" is a slang word for muscles. So "Welcome to the Gun Show" is a funny way of saying check out my big muscles. It loses something when you have to explain it--not so funny. :D