NanceXToo Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 (edited) This month, I decided to start maintaining a list of the Funniest/Best WTM Quotes, and then posting them on a monthly basis for fun. I compiled these in December and was GOING to post them in early January, but I just can't wait anymore (patience is a virtue, but it's not one of mine!) and I'm going to share with you the funniest/best quotes (so far, and in my personal, humble opinion) now. I will add to this list as things come up, and you are certainly welcome to add to this list at any time, too, as I don't read/see every post! Without further ado: --- Funniest/Best Quotes Of The Month, December, 2010, According To Nance, For Your (Re) Reading Pleasure --- I'm still waiting to see if mine is self-cleaning. It's been ten years, but I'm patient. Sharon In Austin, 12/4/10, in the "How often do you clean your oven?" thread. --- Because they want to. Because Christians don't own the day or the season. Because axial tilt is the reason for the season. Because it was a special time of year long before Jesus or Christians existed. Because it has little to do with Christ. Because there's no reason not to. Because each day is what you make of it and everyone has a right to celebrate what they want to and none of us need permission from anyone else. Because our children are just as deserving of presents and fun as Christian children. Because we exist. Secular Mom, 12/4/10, in the "Why do non-Christians celebrate Christmas?" thread. --- Maybe we should be called Hallmarkers, because we celebrate most of the Hallmark holidays. Night Elf, 12/4/10, in the "Why do non-Christians celebrate Christmas?" thread. --- 10. I will not take Mama's school supplies without permission. 11. I will not take Mama's shcool shuppliesh without permission. 12. I will take Mama's shcoot shuppliesh wittout pemission. 13. I ain't gonna snitch Ma's hoojywhatsits widout a permit. 14. I would not dare think of purloining my Mother's possessions. 15. I won't take Mama's stuff without asking first. 16. I don't think I'll steal Mama's supplies without asking. 17. I will not take Mama's school supplies without permission. Dulcimeramy, 12/4/10, in the "You must read my 10 year old's sentences, written for punishment" thread. --- With the week you've had, I would have been making Jack Daniels smoothies for breakfast daily. nono, 11/19/10, in the Xanax prescription thread. (I know this one wasn't from December but it was brought to my attention in December and, darn it, it was funny). --- A sick day? You go throw up and try to remember to take the baby with you. Starr, 12/8/10, in the "How do you take a sick day?" thread. --- Just face it: chickens are evil. You can see it in their beady little eyes. They may hide it for a while, but their true nature eventually reveals itself. katilac, 12/8/10, in the "What to do with a mean chicken" thread. --- "Look! A fight about Christmas! Wait til the inlaws arrive, folks." One Of The Moderators, 12/9/10, as a reason for deleting one of the "Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays" debate threads. (Later in the evening, after someone posted a thread saying how funny they thought that response was, and after someone in said thread complained that they'd never been involved in a deleted thread, said thread was deleted. The reason given by the moderators? "We only deleted this thread so that danybug could say she'd posted in a deleted thread.") --- "You know how to clear a room? Talk about two things...your child's dried animal droppings collection and the mountain oysters you are cooking for supper. THEY WILL STAY AWAY FROM YOU!" FaithManor, 12/9/10, in the "Dealing With HS Group Mothers" thread. --- "I love the one where the dad explains to Cleo about money. There are some great episodes. ETA: Oops, I mean Theo! Cleo is on this board, Theo is on the Cosby show. Must remember!" Stripe, 12/9/10, in the "The Cosby Show- Any Warnings?" thread. --- "I guess I never realized that some people have "personal beliefs" that are anti-tampon?" ThatCyndiGirl, 12/10/10, in the "Explaining Female Cycle To Young Boys" thread --- I had a maternity [photo] shoot today, and I could have done so much better if I had seen this yesterday! It never even dawned on me to ask if they had a dead turkey or a watermelon. Nakia, 12/11/10, in the "If You Need a Chuckle" (Awkward Pregnancy Photos) thread. --- Perfume is my thing. I wear hideous orthopedic shoes, a dreadfully thick pair of bifocals and generally rock the wardrobe of a babushka but wear only the finest perfume. Elizabeth, 12/11/10, in the "Exotic, erotic, spicy perfume" thread. --- Oh brother. Here we go again. Someone always has to get bent out of shape about diacritical markings. Daisy, 12/12/10, in a post Aubrey started wherein she only put a "." resulting in a bunch of joking "I'm offended by your post!" replies. --- Karyn, thanks for posting this juicy story. It wouldn't be a fun day on TWTM board if we didn't have a villain to be outraged at. Rebecca VA, 12/15/10, in the "Engaged on Christmas Eve = ripped off?" thread. --- Last night I had a nightmare that SWB was a psychotic murderer chasing me around with a knife. newlifemom, 12/15/10, in the "I Think I Am Spending Too Much Time Here" thread. --- I wish you could come over here. I wouldn't make you bake or homeschool. I'd even be willing to *not* clean my house, just to make you feel better about yours. (I cleaned up the poop running from the living room to the bathroom already, though. Sorry.) Aubrey, 12/16/10, in the “I’ve Had Enough” thread. --- In response to a quoted line which said "IMO, it's like bringing your own drinks to a bar"- "Now, I know I'm not the only person who has done that as well, right? When you're young and poor and don't have the money for bar drinks, because you spent it all on the fake ID?" -katilac, 12/17/10, in the "How Wrong Is It To Sneak Snacks Into Movie Theaters?" thread. --- Seriously? Just because your dh is an attorney and agrees with you makes your argument the right one? ...(snip)... What would you say if someone one-ups you and says their dh is a judge and he says it is wrong. -Parrothead, 12/17/10, in the "How Wrong Is It To Sneak Snacks Into Movie Theaters?" thread. --- LOL I agree. Tho I think it takes a different turn if the person drinking has had to resort to sneaking their drinks into dark theaters. Kind of screams unhealthy issue going on, kwim? -Martha, 12/17/10, in the "How Wrong Is It To Sneak Snacks Into Movie Theaters?" thread. (In response to someone asking, "Do people really think those that drink alcohol are so unruly and horrid to be around?") --- Start a controversial thread, then go watch some shows online, & come back to see what's happened to your thread. *Highly* entertaining. I'd suggest shopping carts. Or grammar. Aubrey, 12/17/10, in the "I Am Possibly Stranded At My Office For The Night"/what should I do while I'm here? thread. --- My little Christian-schooled K girl brought home her December journal. On one page she was to draw an illustration from the Christmas story. She chose to draw the angel speaking to Mary, telling her that she was miraculously with child. So dd drew a stick angel, a stick Mary, and a caption bubble by Mary's head with these words: "How can this be, for I am a vegan?" -AuntieM, 12/17/10, in the "Something I Never Knew About Mary" thread. (I don't think I will ever hear/see the word "virgin" without thinking "vegan" again. Thank you. LOL.) --- That's like sextuplets dog style. - joannqn Now I have to go to confession. -librarylover 12/17/10, in the "Can You Believe This?" thread (depicting a large litter of English Mastiff puppies). --- Too bad you already replied, but if you hadn't... "Dear Wow-That's-Quite-A-Pair-You've-Got, Since my boys have never taken a game from your son, and since we haven't even seen you in a year, you must have us mixed up with a different family. Sincerely, Don't-Even-Think-About-Bothering-Me-With-This-Again" Mamabegood, 12/17/10, in the "Is This Rude? Nintendo DS Issue" thread. --- Thanks. I'll have to drive over the frou-frou store. I go to the local somewhat-run down place right next to the mental hospital because my son LOVES to see the patients. kalanamak, 12/17/10, in the "Where do you get helium balloons?" thread. --- Yah...see, I wouldn't ask my neighbors to call the cops if I was being attacked, so I certainly would never borrow anything from them. 3littlekeets, 12/17/10, in the "Borrowing while baking" thread. --- I should just get cards printed up that say, "Sorry if my children made your grocery shopping experience unpleasant." farrarwilliams, 12/17/10, in the "I Am Shaking Right Now" thread (re: conflict with someone in a grocery store) --- I'd rather do anything than that. Gimme pain, gimme a rash... just don't make me puke. mejane, 12/18/10, in the "Stomach Virus" thread. --- I completely agree with you. Our core curriculum is Sonlight and unfortunately, I think if my kids saw a standardized test... I'm afraid they would read it, discuss it, make a painting of it, create several lapbooks, write a haiku poem about it and create their own Snap Circuit lesson where the musical doorbell sings about it. Our school district would think we were insane. We're so weird. Starrbuck12 (submitted by freerange; I'm not sure of date or post title) --- Darn you, people, I really don't need any more annoying characters for my book. I'm surrounded by enough already. Sebastian (a lady), in the "Boy Scout Vent" thread. (This one was from November but I'm including it at the request of Suzanne who submitted it) --- ***NOTE*** PLEASE GO TO PAGE 7 OF THIS THREAD FOR MORE FUNNY QUOTES! Edited December 18, 2010 by NanceXToo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Love it, thanks!:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 :lol::lol: I really needed a good laugh! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: How did I miss this stuff??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 I'm flattered that my 'didn't realize people were anti-tampon' remark made the list. I'll try to stay humble. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mammaruss Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 HILARIOUS!!:lol: I cannot believe I missed seeing so many of these....I thought I was on here at least a dozen times daily....:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3littlekeets Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Hilarious...do I see a book in the making ? :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted December 17, 2010 Author Share Posted December 17, 2010 I'm flattered that my 'didn't realize people were anti-tampon' remark made the list. I'll try to stay humble. :tongue_smilie: And I was going to ask for your autograph! But that would just swell your head! LOL. Hilarious...do I see a book in the making ? :-) Ooh. Should I market it to SWB...?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Wow--I see now that I left the sneaking snacks into the movie theater thread too soon. :lol: Cinder Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 :lol::lol::D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairytalemama Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 A sick day? You go throw up and try to remember to take the baby with you. Starr, 12/8/10, in the "How do you take a sick day?" thread. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!! I only get on the forum once a day so it was nice to laugh out loud at all the gems I missed. The one above made me smile :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dulcimeramy Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 :lol: honored to be included! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarriorMama Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 I'm flattered that my 'didn't realize people were anti-tampon' remark made the list. I'll try to stay humble. :tongue_smilie: That's the one that nearly made me choke on my lunch. :lol: On another note, I clearly should have been reading the movie theatre snacks thread! I think I know what to do when the toddler naps this afternoon..who needs to wrap Christmas gifts, anyhow?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 So proud to be in the same company with all these witty gals. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 how entertaining! I *LOVE* this! Thanks!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkInTheBlue Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Oh Nance! Thank you! That was awesome! Now I have my goal for the next 4 weeks! Read 4 books and make Nance laugh :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted December 17, 2010 Author Share Posted December 17, 2010 Oh Nance! Thank you! That was awesome! Now I have my goal for the next 4 weeks! Read 4 books and make Nance laugh :) :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted December 17, 2010 Author Share Posted December 17, 2010 And FYI all, when I come across more funny December posts, I'll be adding them to my first post on the first page (assuming it will continue to let me edit that page). So check back there periodically, I've already added a few more since I first posted this. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AZDeb Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Thank you for the laugh. :lol: Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patches Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 So funny... Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missesd Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 My vote for 2 best LOL moments are: 10. I will not take Mama's school supplies without permission. 11. I will not take Mama's shcool shuppliesh without permission. 12. I will take Mama's shcoot shuppliesh wittout pemission. 13. I ain't gonna snitch Ma's hoojywhatsits widout a permit. 14. I would not dare think of purloining my Mother's possessions. 15. I won't take Mama's stuff without asking first. 16. I don't think I'll steal Mama's supplies without asking. 17. I will not take Mama's school supplies without permission. Dulcimeramy, 12/4/10, in the "You must read my 10 year old's sentences, written for punishment" thread. And... My little Christian-schooled K girl brought home her December journal. On one page she was to draw an illustration from the Christmas story. She chose to draw the angel speaking to Mary, telling her that she was miraculously with child. So dd drew a stick angel, a stick Mary, and a caption bubble by Mary's head with these words: "How can this be, for I am a vegan?" -AuntieM, 12/17/10, in the "Something I Never Knew About Mary" thread. There were some really good ones in the theater thread though... I might have to go back and check it out ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babysparkler Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 That's was great. Thank you. I especially enjoyed this one: My little Christian-schooled K girl brought home her December journal. On one page she was to draw an illustration from the Christmas story. She chose to draw the angel speaking to Mary, telling her that she was miraculously with child. So dd drew a stick angel, a stick Mary, and a caption bubble by Mary's head with these words: "How can this be, for I am a vegan?" -AuntieM, 12/17/10, in the "Something I Never Knew About Mary" thread. (I don't think I will ever hear/see the word "virgin" without thinking "vegan" again. Thank you. LOL.) --- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 :smilielol5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepymommy Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappyhappymama Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Start a controversial thread, then go watch some shows online, & come back to see what's happened to your thread. *Highly* entertaining. I'd suggest shopping carts. Aubrey, 12/17/10, in the "I Am Possibly Stranded At My Office For The Night"/what should I do while I'm here? thread. You forgot the "or GRAMMAR" bit. That was the funniest part!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrappyhappymama Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 "How can this be, for I am a vegan?" Each year on Christmas Eve, our family does some kind of Christmas play or recital or parody. I've been mulling over ideas for this year and I am totally stealing this!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chickenpatty Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Those are great!!:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted December 17, 2010 Author Share Posted December 17, 2010 You forgot the "or GRAMMAR" bit. That was the funniest part!! :lol: LOL okay okay I'll add that part back in. I've added several more quotes, you guys are on a roll today! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 :lol: This was awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 I've been quoted. [sniff, sniff] You like me, you really like me. :D Thanks Nance. All too often I miss the funny ones. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyndie Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 I made the list!!! Thank you for posting!!! I am about to die laughing!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 hahaha!!! :lol::lol::lol: Thanks, Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted December 17, 2010 Author Share Posted December 17, 2010 I almost quoted you again, Nakia, for the puking/table dancing thing, but then I just couldn't bring myself to quote the movie theater post yet.again. lol. (But feel free to be funny elsewhere)! haha. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Love it, thanks!:D :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OregonNative Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Seriously LOVE the one about Mary being vegan:lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Thanks, Nance! I love Sharon's quote about the self-cleaning oven. Very witty! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoVanGogh Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 May I add one? I have no idea who said this or what thread it was in - and now I realized I saved it November 20th, so it is 'old' but still worthy of a laugh. Darn you people, I really don't need more annoying characters for my book. I'm surrounded by enough already. So applies to my life right now. :glare: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bookfiend Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 Will definitely look forward to reading each month's edition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abrightmom Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 :001_smile: Fabulous! What fun, what fun! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muffinmom Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 :lol::lol::lol: Clearly, I've been away from the boards too much lately...missing some fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted December 17, 2010 Share Posted December 17, 2010 You ladies are hilarious! What a great read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 HILARIOUS!!:lol:I cannot believe I missed seeing so many of these....I thought I was on here at least a dozen times daily....:glare: I've been quoted. [sniff, sniff] You like me, you really like me. :D Thanks Nance. All too often I miss the funny ones. :tongue_smilie: :iagree: I can't believe I was quoted or that I missed some of these as much as I've been on here lately! The only reason I knew about this thread is bc someone in another thread mentioned it! Now I'm curious as to the tampon reference on a subject of sex Ed for boys?!.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 I almost quoted you again, Nakia, for the puking/table dancing thing, but then I just couldn't bring myself to quote the movie theater post yet.again. lol. (But feel free to be funny elsewhere)! haha. :) What can I say? I'm hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 "I love the one where the dad explains to Cleo about money. There are some great episodes. ETA: Oops, I mean Theo! Cleo is on this board, Theo is on the Cosby show. Must remember!" Hey, I made the list! Although I'm not the person who wrote the above... I totally missed the original. Where was that posted???? I guess I should come up with how my dad explained money to me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 :lol::lol::lol: Good stuff! Thanks for compiling this! Do you plan on doing this regularly? It helps us keep things in perspective, imho. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 :lol::lol::lol: You need to do that more often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 I'm laughing so hard, I'm weeping! I haven't been on much lately either, so this was the perfect summary. I think this concept is going to give those channeling Doran a run for their money! (Sorry, Doran, if you're peeking in! We miss you too!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted December 18, 2010 Share Posted December 18, 2010 :lol::lol::lol: You need to do that more often. :iagree: Awesome thread!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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