Do you enjoy having a slightly messy house?

[Lisa R.]

I used to think that when people had messy houses, they lived like that because they didn't have the time, energy, or motivation to keep it neat. I've always understood that people have different priorities, and some choose to spend their time on other hobbies, relaxing, or outside employment rather than tidying up their home.

 

However, my ds, age 11, told me today that he prefers going to houses that look messier than ours. He mentioned a couple families that tend to pile things up here and there and don't seem to put a large focus on having a neat home. He also mentioned one friend that has the neatest home of anyone we know. (This woman is the queen of organization.) He said he was very uncomfortable in her home. He does feel our home is too neat. (I really dislike clutter and have very little of it downstairs. However, I do feel our house has a *warm* feel to it as we have colorful rugs over dark wood floors, comfortable furniture, lots of windows and light, pictures on the wall, etc. ) I didn't get the impression that he dislikes our neat home because he's tired of helping to pick things up, but rather that he feels more comfortable in a slightly messier home.

 

So, it go me wondering.... Do some of you feel stiff or uncomfortable in a house that appears very neat and clean? Do you feel more comfortable going into someone's home with a laundry basket on the floor, papers piled in the kitchen counter, and some toys scattered, for example? I mean, do some people have less tidy houses on purpose and not because they have little interest or time for housekeeping? Another question, does neat, clean home = snobbishness and messy home = laid-back, fun-to-be around people to you?

[Marylou]

Another question, does neat, clean home = snobbishness and messy home = laid-back, fun-to-be around people to you?

 

 

I do feel more relaxed in a home where there's no clutter. However, neat/clen organized does not equal "snobbish" in my mind.

[Chris in VA]

In my own home, I actually AM more comfortable with a little bit of the "lived-in" look. That's because I am a highly visual person--is your son? I like the feeling I get when I see evidence of people living happy lives around me. For instance, when my mom comes, we clean off all the surfaces (coffee table, end tables, etc. except for pictures)--and it feels sterile to me. I like having a book set down as if someone has just left for a moment and will be back to read. I like having a dish or two on the counter (but just a little) because it means someone enjoyed a meal.

It's not the things themselves, it's what they represent.

 

OTOH, I DO NOT like dirt, animal hair stuck to the rug, unflushed toilets, kleenex on the floor by the bed, y'know--that sort of evidence! lol

 

I think it's also related to the whole "make mistakes, make messes, explore!" kinda mentality. When moms are wary of doing messy crafts like painting b/c they abhor the mess, I find it limiting and rather sad. Walking into a home that feels like no one dares make a mess is not warm and friendly for me, no matter how beautiful it may be.

 

Does that make sense?

Edited July 7, 2010 by Chris in VA

[Jean in Newcastle]

I feel most comfortable in houses where you can see what people are actually working on. It doesn't have to be a mess to see a puzzle in progress, some books with bookmarks on the end tables and some toys scattered for the littles. Now my problem is that you can often see what I was working on a month ago. . .

[runmiarun]

I feel very uncomfortable in very neat and clean homes that look like magazine layouts. I have a friend at church who keeps a beautiful home that always looks like it's ready for a Southern Living or Better Homes and Garden photo shoot. When I visit her, I am nervous to even do to the bathroom for fear of messing something up or leaving fingerprints where I shouldn't. She admits housecleaning is her hobby and is a germophobe. I am a little in awe of the fact that she can keep her house so clean with a 7yo, 5yo, and 1yo. Conversely, she has said she will not be visiting my house again since it's always chaotic though mostly tidy. I am much more comfortable in a home that's tidy but lived in or even a messy home. I guess since my home is considered messy, I'm more comfortable around mess. We have toys, shoes, construction paper, and books scattered around the house. Clutter, though, drives me absolutely insane. I hate having piles of things where people can see it. Go figure.

[justamouse]

I like picked up but lived in houses, but a house without BOOKS? Then I'm uncomfortable. I have a girlfriend who cleans as a hobby. I find that freakish, but I love her dearly.

[Guest]

My daughter likes our house to look "friendly," by which she means having things scattered freely and in progress in every room. It drives me bonkers. I LOVE tidy. However, I've grown used to signs of her presence and her thoughts/ideas everywhere and when last fall she briefly went to regular school and I had time to clean the house, it suddenly DID look unfriendly! I missed the mess.

 

No worries -- it's back.

[RoughCollie]

So, it go me wondering.... Do some of you feel stiff or uncomfortable in a house that appears very neat and clean? Do you feel more comfortable going into someone's home with a laundry basket on the floor, papers piled in the kitchen counter, and some toys scattered, for example? I mean, do some people have less tidy houses on purpose and not because they have little interest or time for housekeeping? Another question, does neat, clean home = snobbishness and messy home = laid-back, fun-to-be around people to you?

 

If a house looks like no one lives there, I feel 2 things: uncomfortable and guilty because my house doesn't look like that and for that moment I think it should.

 

A friend of mine has a house like that. She spends all day following people around to make sure they don't make a mess, and that they always promptly clean up after themselves. That irritates me. She never seemed to be similarly irritated at my house, though.

 

I do not have an untidy house on purpose. Ours is less tidy than I would like because people live here and use the place, and at least half of us are here all the time. We do keep it clean and we do straighten the house every day.

 

A neat clean home (not magazine perfect) gives me the impression that the person lacks the procrastination gene and is organized and self-disciplined. A terribly messy, dirty house makes me think of germs and disease.

 

My ideal home is one without clutter, Danish modern furniture, and so forth. The clean lines and no clutter make me feel relaxed, probably because there is nothing shouting to me that I should be doing it instead of reading or going online. When the kids move out, that's how my house will be, I hope.

 

More messy houses do indicate to me that the occupants are more laid-back, which I like. There is a line between untidy and dirty though.

[secular_mom]

Yes, I feel very uncomfortable in homes that are, 'excessively neat'- NO clutter at all, their house doesn't feel 'lived in'. Seems like things are 'for looks' and not for use, etc.

 

There is a difference between dirty and cluttered, IMO. My home is frequently cluttered with evidence that children live here who have MANY interests. They have projects and materials in every room except my bedroom. I like for the table to be CLEAN, but don't mind some clutter on it- that can be moved temporarily while we use the table for meals or something else. I like my counters to be CLEAN, but I have lots of kitchen items that I store on my counters for ease of use.

 

I feel more comfortable in a home where the hostess is not going to freak out about where I put my purse, if my child touches a wall or window in passing or while looking out, and if I don't feel like we are 'ruining' their tidy home by letting the children play.

[chubbyhugs]

I'm more comfortable with clutter, but not with dust bunnies, dirt, and dead bugs. I've noticed that I only keep the common rooms (living room, dining room) sterile because I don't like to dust knick-knacks. Two weeks ago I just put away the Nativity creche that was on the living room coffee table. Come to think of it, last time I looked there were little dead brown bugs in the window sill in the dining room, but I can't get to them because the room is full of boxes, books, and "stuff" that I'm going through. Dd 14 yrs old cleans her room when she knows someone is coming over. I'm afraid she got that habit from me. I'm not at ease in a spotless house - the type in home decorating magazines. Dh is so patient. He doesn't mind clutter either. All of us like collecting books, and they are in every room.

[Daisy]

I suppose it depends on how you define neat and clean. I don't think having wall-to-wall books looks untidy. LOL. My house is neat but lived in. Not going to grace any magazine covers around here.

 

I don't like cluttered and messy, and definitely not dirty. My first thought when I step into my neighboring homeschooler's house is usually, "How in the world can they live this way?" They always have bug infestations. The house smells like their bearded dragon. Toys, clothes, books, are everywhere. They borrow something from me and I know I'll never see it again. No thanks. I can't even think in that house. I've always assumed it was because they are constantly on the go.

 

On the flip side, I don't want to feel like my friend is such a clean freak that she is going to walk through my house with a gloved finger and her nose in the air.

[MissKNG]

No.

[kewb]

Yes, I do feel uncomfortable in houses that look they stepped out of Architectural Digest. I am afraid to touch anything for fear I might move it out of place. I don't want to sit on the furniture for fear I will muss it.

 

My house is not as clutter free as I would like. My dh is a pack rat. I do what I can to make it presentable but I know it is a losing battle.

[delaney]

I tend to not notice a normal amount of clutter but really notice when things looked staged and "model " home-ish

[Remudamom]

I don't give a patoot about what someone's house looks like. It's the people that make me feel at home or not.

 

My house? Clutter drives me insane, and that's the only place it bothers me.

[CLHCO]

I like it basically "clean", meaning no grime or a feeling of having to dodge other people's germs if that makes sense, but I admit I do not like a perfect home. It's a combination of feelings - like I can't relax there, and like I (in my own mind, right or wrong), would not live up to their standard.

 

I have lower standards in my home precisely for the reasons you mentioned. It's not a priority. I've tried to make it one and always walked away defeated. We are very busy with other things in life and I cannot keep up with everything perfectly. I want my home functional and within an hour or two of being "reasonable" if I expected guests. It surprises me how many people cannot get that and most certainly would judge me for being relaxed in my housekeeping. In their minds, if I didn't have a company ready home at all times, I have my priorities wrong.

 

That doesn't mean I'm always bothered by a neater home than mine. I have a dear friend who keeps a lovely home, but is the least likely to ever judge me on mine, so attitude does matter. It's just far more likely you'll find a comfortable attitude in a mildly "fuzzy" home, where you're just not sure in a super tidy one.

 

ETA: People with messier homes are more likely to get a return invite to mine. I have been known to have friendships fizzle when they were the Martha Stewart uptight kind of people and I didn't feel I could be comfortable in my own home if they were there.

Edited July 7, 2010 by CLHCO

[secular_mom]

I don't give a patoot about what someone's house looks like. It's the people that make me feel at home or not.

 

My house? Clutter drives me insane, and that's the only place it bothers me.

You know, when I think about it, you're right. The people I've visited with 'immaculate' homes are a bit uptight and I just can't relax in their home with them. I can relax in MY home with them, because I'm not afraid I'm going to offend them by being 'less neat'.

 

The people I've visited who are more relaxed in general, are more relaxed about the state of their home- they don't live in homes full of dirtiness, but they do 'live' there and it shows.

[Food4Thought]

You know when I feel uncomfortable? When I walk into someone's house, whether it's neat or messy, and they *apologize* for the mess.

 

I have one friend, whose entire house is a magazine ad, who constantly apologizes for the mess. I don't want to touch anything there. Can I sit on the leather couch? I don't know! And she thinks it's messy! It totally intimidates me.

 

Another friend has a lived-in house, and when I show up, she goes crazy trying to tidy up this and that. I went to see her, not her house! Besides, I love seeing all the kids' art projects out and on display.

 

The most refreshing visit I've ever had was in a house with a newborn - the place was quite messy (though clean, no dirt/icky stuff). She just shoved stuff out of the way so we could sit and visit, and offered me a cup of tea. Ever since, I strive to be like her. I'm not going to apologize for my mess anymore, just offer people a comfortable place to sit and something nice to drink.

[May]

I keep our home neat and tidy but one does see occassion dust bunnies. How other people keep their homes is up to them. When I go to others homes, I go to see them.

[Mom22ns]

I feel strongly that a house that is less than perfect allows people to be more comfortable. I am uncomfortable in a spotless house and my kids often mention it too.

 

That doesn't mean I want filth, just imperfection. I know guests like it here too. When my kids have friends over they always love our house. Our house is about having fun, being well fed and tons and tons of love. It exudes those things and guests always know. The only few who don't get that are those who just can't relax in a house where the baseboards haven't been dusted this week.

[Danestress]

I admire women who are willing to welcome guest into a clean but not perfectly tidy house. I wish I were more that way.

 

I am not uncomfortable in clean, neat, "perfect" houses as long as they don't smell chemically and artificial.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

To me there is a difference between 'clean' and 'tidy'. I like a clean house, meaning not dirty and dusty. I prefer my own house to be relatively tidy, but not perfect. I can handle small amounts of clutter in my house, but not large amounts. For instance, I can stand piles of books on the coffee table and a basket of folded laundry sitting around for a couple of days, but not dishes, dirty clothes, etc.

 

However, in other people's homes, I'm a little uncomfortable if it is really, really filthy, or if it is so neat and clean that I'm afraid to make a mess.

[Mejane]

No. I'm anal about clutter and stuff lying around. If I go to a house where that's the case, I find myself wanting to organize their stuff. :001_smile:

[Lolly]

I'm with your son. I want there to be some stuff about. I despise going into houses that are not "lived in". It makes me very uncomfortable.

[OrganicAnn]

I don't think it is the clean/neatness or the warmth or lack of the furnishing. I think it is the attitude of the owners. I like the look of a very neat house, but find that they often (not always) go with an uptight attitude. I remember at someone house where there was a small mess on the kitchen counter (a little food dripped out of a container) and everything stopped. Nothing happened in that house (silence and concentration by both husband and wife) until the mess was cleaned up and everything returned to neatness. I've seem people get down on the floor and work on a spill while company waits till the hostess had finished and got up off her hands and knees. It was uncomfortable. I don't mean someone should not throw a rag on a spill, but this was way more.

 

I also think houses without books and a house with kids and no toys around are sterile and so uncomfortable. (Except having a no toys/grown up living room is okay).

[Tutor]

I generally prefer a house that looks like people actually live there. This usually means that there are personal things lying around - books in the process of being read, block towers mid-construction, ingredients out and ready to be used, etc. - i.e. neat clutter, not a dirty mess.

 

However, if I am visiting someone else's home, I may form an initial reaction about how to act in the home by how it's clean/ organized but my comfort is ultimately determined by the attitude of the family hosting. If they have a neat-as-a-pin house but they are really casual about it (prop their feet up on the coffee table, aren't straightening behind everyone, etc), I feel welcome and at home there. If the house is messy, but the family apologizes for it constantly or appears to be constantly straightening for my benefit, I will feel like I am imposing and not feel comfortable there.

[FO4UR]

No. I'm anal about clutter and stuff lying around. If I go to a house where that's the case, I find myself wanting to organize their stuff. :001_smile:

 

Ah...how about lunch tomorrow at MY house?:D

 

I like a clean/organized home, but I rarely if ever HAVE one.:tongue_smilie: Right now, I've got a very messy cabinet and a kiddie table full of various school stuffs. I've been planning and putting together their things for the fall. I will gladly let you organize away, guilt free.:lol:

[justlittleoldme]

To me there is a difference between 'clean' and 'tidy'. I like a clean house, meaning not dirty and dusty. I prefer my own house to be relatively tidy, but not perfect. I can handle small amounts of clutter in my house, but not large amounts. For instance, I can stand piles of books on the coffee table and a basket of folded laundry sitting around for a couple of days, but not dishes, dirty clothes, etc.

 

However, in other people's homes, I'm a little uncomfortable if it is really, really filthy, or if it is so neat and clean that I'm afraid to make a mess.

 

:iagree:

I don't mind toys, clutter, even laundry, or that sort of thing, but it's bad when the toys are on a floor that's so dirty the kids get black knees from playing on it, or you have to push aside garbage that's overflowing everywhere.

[jld]

I think a little clutter looks friendly. And it can be helpful, too. I like having a hairbrush on the kitchen counter, or a scissors lying around so I don't have to walk over to where those things are stored. To each his own, I guess.:)

[Alphabetika]

I feel very uncomfortable in very neat and clean homes that look like magazine layouts. I have a friend at church who keeps a beautiful home that always looks like it's ready for a Southern Living or Better Homes and Garden photo shoot. When I visit her, I am nervous to even do to the bathroom for fear of messing something up or leaving fingerprints where I shouldn't. She admits housecleaning is her hobby and is a germophobe. I am a little in awe of the fact that she can keep her house so clean with a 7yo, 5yo, and 1yo. Conversely, she has said she will not be visiting my house again since it's always chaotic though mostly tidy. I am much more comfortable in a home that's tidy but lived in or even a messy home. I guess since my home is considered messy, I'm more comfortable around mess. We have toys, shoes, construction paper, and books scattered around the house. Clutter, though, drives me absolutely insane. I hate having piles of things where people can see it. Go figure.

 

 

Wow - she said she won't be visiting you again? That makes me sad.:001_huh:

[Peela]

 

So, it go me wondering.... Do some of you feel stiff or uncomfortable in a house that appears very neat and clean? Do you feel more comfortable going into someone's home with a laundry basket on the floor, papers piled in the kitchen counter, and some toys scattered, for example? I mean, do some people have less tidy houses on purpose and not because they have little interest or time for housekeeping? Another question, does neat, clean home = snobbishness and messy home = laid-back, fun-to-be around people to you?

 

To some extent, yes, this is true for me.

As a somewhat reformed messy person, I live in a very "lived in" looking home with various areas mildly out of order at any time. I like to keep each room within 5-15 minutes of tidy, and once or twice aweek the room will be generally tidy, but most days there will be things here and there that are not put away or finished with. It is always a work in progress, very rarely looking like a magazine photo.

 

When I go to my MIL's place, with her white carpets and sofas, I feel unfomfortable. It is very neat and tidy all the time, but to me feels sterile.

If I go to someone's home that is very tidy all the time, I presume they either dont have kids, or they are very strict about keeping things picked up. Stricter than I would be comfortable being.

 

My own mother has my ideal type of home. Handmade and meaningful decorations (she is a weaver, basket maker etc), warm and inviting decor, yet there will always be a dish or two on the sink and magazines and her knitting next to her easy chair. Sometimes some obvious dust because her fibromyalgia makes it hard for her to clean. SHe is a great grandmother because kids feel welcome in her home- she will teach them to weave on her loom, to knit or sew, she will show them how to put bait on a hook and throw a line in, she will make sure she leaves building the yearly bonfire till they are around to enjoy the whole event. She is not messy or a slob at all- her artistic sensitivities wouldnt allow it- but her home feels relaxed and lived in.

 

There is the other extreme. I do feel sorry for people who live in chaos and so much clutter that there are few free surfaces. I feel that is actually a bit of a mental problem- or it can be. A problem with letting go of the past, with bringing a certain basic order into one's life- and allowing fresh new energy into one's life. But, I have BTDT so I have plenty of empathy for it. I probably feel more comfortable in a messy home than an extremely clean/sterile one, but I do get this urge to do a Flylady on a messy home- I just want to go over and clean the sink for them to get them started!

 

I have tried to keep a fairly good attitude to my kids' cleaning. They are naturally messy, especially my dd16. I will use Flylady techniques such as a 5 minute pick up, or 15 minutes together cleaning the schoolroom. In the end, nagging happens though and they don't like it.

 

I keep my bedroom as my neat sanctuary, and everyone seems to love coming in there and piling on the bed and chatting, and its hard to get them out!

[DaffodilDreams]

I can't stand a messy house, but I live with two people who seem to enjoy wallowing in messes they create and leave, so I've had to relax my standards a bit. One day in the distant future I might have my spotless home back - but then I'll most likely sigh and think fondly of the messy days . . .

[Parrothead]

So, it go me wondering.... Do some of you feel stiff or uncomfortable in a house that appears very neat and clean?

Nope, no way. I see absolutely nothing wrong with neat and clean.

 

Do you feel more comfortable going into someone's home with a laundry basket on the floor, papers piled in the kitchen counter, and some toys scattered, for example?

I'd feel as if I'd interrupted something if the laundry is visible. Toys wouldn't bother me.

 

I mean, do some people have less tidy houses on purpose and not because they have little interest or time for housekeeping?

I'm sure it is possible.

 

Another question, does neat, clean home = snobbishness and messy home = laid-back, fun-to-be around people to you?

I do not think neat and clean equals snobbish.

 

I swear I was born in the wrong era. This casualness that seems to permeate our lives makes me crazy if I think about it. If I'm going to invite someone over, the house is going to be clean. I'd expect someone to use the front door when visiting. I don't want someone traipsing through the back yard where the dogs will be. I certainly don't want someone going through my garage to get to the side door.

 

Everything is supposed to be friendly and casual. This is how we end up with the shorthand TMI. But with everything so casual it is okay to talk about that abscess, or air the dirty laundry. Times past some things were not discussed in public.

 

I don't know why friendly has to equal casual. It seems as if all propriety is taking a trip in a handbasket. I see nothing wrong with dressing appropriately. I see nothing wrong with visiting someone who keeps a clean house. I see nothing wrong with keeping a clean house. I do not want to know about the growth one has had removed upon a first meeting or 50th visit.

 

I'm a friendly and fairly spontaneous person. I like to have a good time, I'll dance in public and have been known to drink a bit too much. With a screen name like Parrothead how could I not. But I think too much casual is becoming a not so good thing.

[Laura Corin]

 

A friend of mine has a house like that. She spends all day following people around to make sure they don't make a mess, and that they always promptly clean up after themselves.

 

I remember setting down a water bottle in the sitting room and then going to the bathroom. When I came back, my water bottle was gone - my MIL just couldn't cope with something untidy (and tacky) sitting in her perfect room. She was a lovely lady, but I felt uncomfortable in her home.

 

Laura

[Carrie12345]

To me there is a difference between 'clean' and 'tidy'. I like a clean house, meaning not dirty and dusty. I prefer my own house to be relatively tidy, but not perfect. I can handle small amounts of clutter in my house, but not large amounts. For instance, I can stand piles of books on the coffee table and a basket of folded laundry sitting around for a couple of days, but not dishes, dirty clothes, etc.

 

However, in other people's homes, I'm a little uncomfortable if it is really, really filthy, or if it is so neat and clean that I'm afraid to make a mess.

 

Yes. I call my ideal "clean clutter". You can dust a pile of books, vacuum around a train set, and wipe down (and under) a few odds and ends on the counter.

 

When clutter greatly interferes with the ACTUAL CLEANING, it's dirty clutter, and I don't like that. Doesn't mean I never have it, lol, but I don't like it.

 

A complete absence of clean clutter makes me uncomfortable. It makes me think of builders' model homes or nice hotels - just for show, devoid of daily activity (except cleaning!)

 

Even my aunt, who has no kids and a really good cleaning lady, has at least a little clean clutter going on. There are always a few dog toys lying around, along with a couple of books or magazines, and a stray purse or shopping bag. Her very beautiful home would look rather creepy, imo, without that.

[TravelingChris]

I have found that I don't really like people who have perfect houses. I admit that I don't have a large group of people who have this issue but there are a few who I didn't really like before I went to their house (always a group event). I got to each house and not only was it uncomfortably clean, but there were rules that were uninviting. Now, on the other hand, I have been in some homes that are too messy. I normally did like those women but didn't like the mess.

[MyThreeSons]

Walking into a home that feels like no one dares make a mess is not warm and friendly for me, no matter how beautiful it may be.

 

Does that make sense?

 

Absolutely!! I don't like feeling like I'm violating their pristine order just by being there.

[WishboneDawn]

I'm uncomfortable in very messy houses, fine in lightly messy ones although I'd substitute lived-in for messy and it depends with very neat ones.

 

There are some neat houses that feel impersonal and sterile and others that don't.

[Mommee & Baba]

A very quick and honest answer...NO way!

 

Now a bit more detailed answer...

 

I'm OCD when it comes to my home and how orderly it is. This includes everything in it. Not saying OCD to be funny, saying OCD because I'm serious. Sometimes I WISH I could stand a bit of a messy home..but I can only take it for a few hours before I literally break down and have an anxiety attack over it and HAVE to stop what I'm doing and tidy and get things back in order again. It's not a happy moment either..I turn into drill srgt. mama if there is too much stuff out of place...:glare:

 

My one WISH..to RELAX about housework. :chillpill:

 

My dh said he'd rather deal with me and my OCD moments than me accepting an untidy, unkept and unorganized home. :tongue_smilie:

 

Let me add that my house is NOT perfectly clean and BRAND new looking or anything...BUT it's as tidy and organized as I can get it!

Edited July 8, 2010 by mamaofblessings

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I'd almost forgotten about a house I used to babysit in when I was a teenager. It did always look like it was ready for a magazine photo shoot and was immaculately clean. The kids would take out 1 toy or game at a time, then put it back in its place immediately after playing with it. The kids would also wipe out the sink with a paper towel after washing their hands. I thought it was a little over the top at the time, but I actually didn't feel uncomfortable there. The parents were extremely open and warm people. They paid well, and they always left snacks on the kitchen table and would open the snacks up right before they left and tell me to help myself. They never directly said anything about keeping the house clean, either. That is probably the one and only time I felt comfortable being myself in such a pristine environment.

[secular_mom]

I remember setting down a water bottle in the sitting room and then going to the bathroom. When I came back, my water bottle was gone - my MIL just couldn't cope with something untidy (and tacky) sitting in her perfect room. She was a lovely lady, but I felt uncomfortable in her home.

 

Laura

THAT sounds like my MIL. If we walk in and set down my purse/sunglasses/cell phones/etc. on a side table so that the things are out of the way AND out of the dogs reach, we will walk through later to find ALL of our things gone- she has moved them to the laundry room so they are 'out of sight'. :glare: You can't leave a glass that's half full for a minute, or she will dump it and load it into the dishwasher. She used to fuss at her younger children (they are teens now) to not touch the walls or 'lean' on the counter (basically, don't touch the counter at all, just touch your dishes).

 

It is NOT fun to be in a house like that.

[Paintedlady]

I prefer/feel more comfortable in a clean home. If there are dog hair tumble weeds rolling around and the counters are piled high with stuff, I tend to want to get out of there a lot quicker. Btw, sometimes my house resembles the aforementioned house ;), but I try hard not to let it get that way. And if it does get that bad, I'm crabby, big time, until it gets put back in order and cleaned. I don't like a cluttered and/or dirty home.

[Mejane]

Ah...how about lunch tomorrow at MY house?:D

 

I like a clean/organized home, but I rarely if ever HAVE one.:tongue_smilie: Right now, I've got a very messy cabinet and a kiddie table full of various school stuffs. I've been planning and putting together their things for the fall. I will gladly let you organize away, guilt free.:lol:

 

I would actually enjoy it, LOL. I'd so much rather organize than clean. :001_smile:

[lisabees]

I don't pay any attention to the way a house looks (including mine). My favorite friends tend to have a very busy, relaxed house, much like their personalities. Piles of books and paper on counters, kids artwork all around, too many dishes in the sink because they love to experiment when they cook etc.

 

I don't feel uncomfortable when I go into a clean house, although I feel quite shocked that someone can keep a house like that. I remember a neighbor apologizing for her mess and I asked her to show me exactly where her "mess" was. Tucked next to her fridge was a hidden counter with three, THREE, pieces of paper. It's very hard to be myself around her.

[Saille]

To me there is a difference between 'clean' and 'tidy'. I like a clean house, meaning not dirty and dusty. I prefer my own house to be relatively tidy, but not perfect. I can handle small amounts of clutter in my house, but not large amounts. For instance, I can stand piles of books on the coffee table and a basket of folded laundry sitting around for a couple of days, but not dishes, dirty clothes, etc.

 

However, in other people's homes, I'm a little uncomfortable if it is really, really filthy, or if it is so neat and clean that I'm afraid to make a mess.

 

That's right where I am. I explained to a "messy house" friend (I love visiting her) that I keep the level of clean that keeps me calm. I am right-brained, and while I work to be tidy and organized, it is always *work*. Labor. It takes years for a routine to become really, truly entrenched in me, in my habits and muscle memory. So I'm fairly tidy, and getting more so, b/c I can't really take a big break from a routine without screwing up everything indefinitely. I am making it a big focus to remind my family to clean up after themselves so I don't end up resentful of how often I'm cleaning up after them...you know how when you're just *done* running, you're panting and blowing and can't go another step? That's how I feel when I've got my housekeeping under control and I find a mess someone left for me. Anyway, I also have cyclical depression. So I keep up, b/c if I don't, just looking at it makes me want to go hide in my bed, and it becomes a self-perpetuating cycle. At someone else's house it's not my responsibility and doesn't cause me stress unless it's filthy and I'm expected to eat there, or bug infested and I'm afraid I'll bring them home a la the used dresser thread. So don't confuse my level of clean with my expectations of others, I guess.

[Saille]

I remember setting down a water bottle in the sitting room and then going to the bathroom. When I came back, my water bottle was gone - my MIL just couldn't cope with something untidy (and tacky) sitting in her perfect room.

 

LOL...my FIL went through a stage with this, not understanding that dh and I tend to save our drinks b/c, when you're busy with three kids, you're lucky if you find the time to pour one, let alone drink it. If it's sitting there, it's not b/c we don't want to drink it, it's b/c we haven't had time yet. What's really funny about this is that, when my dh was little, his grandma used to "straighten" MIL and FIL's angled chairs every time she came over, until one day my FIL held up his hand and said, "Here, Mom, let me move the chairs for you so you won't have to do it while we're not looking." That was the last time she did it.

[alpidarkomama]

I like being in a home that looks very lived in but is also generally straightened up. Too neat almost gives me the willies. Of course, my house is only completely straightened up once a week :) but we try to keep the main areas pretty nice most of the time. The kitchen is in constant use, so it always looks like it needs cleaning. Oh, well! It's getting a LOT easier as the kids get older!!

[The Girls' Mom]

I love being able to walk into a house and see that people are actually LIVING there. If nothing is out of place, it seems about as lived in as a hotel room to me. (I grew up in a place like that...not fun :glare: )

 

My house is mostly clean, but often messy...if that makes sense? There are 5 people living, working and schooling here 24/7 and it looks like it. I like it that way :D

[Susan in TX]

I don't feel comfortable in other people's immaculately clean houses that look like a magazine cover, because I'm afraid I might mess something up. BUT I would love it if my house was that clean and perfect.

 

Susan in TX

[LibraryLover]

I enjoy a tidy and organized home (don't look in all closets or drawers), but I also enjoy seeing art work in progress, books on the sofa, knitting in baskets, fluffy dog beds by the fire, puzzles in progress, spices & oils in the kitchen by the stove, little Playmobil scenarios & dn's little block corrals with animals left in corners, KA mixer on the counter, waiting for flours, and broth simmering on the stove. I love a cozy home where people feel free to work and create, and these items, for me, is what makes a cozy home.

Edited February 5, 2011 by LibraryLover