The fleecing of the gurest

[Parrothead]

Are these situations the new normal or am I correct in thinking there is something wrong.

 

Invitation to a retirement party: cover charge $20.00 per person, $40.00 per couple.

 

Invitation to another retirement party: cover charge $10.00 per person, $20.00 per couple

 

Invitation to baby shower: cover charge is bring a covered dish. This is in addition to any gift one wants to give the new mother.

 

I'm thinking of these retirement parties in the same light as a wedding reception. If one can't afford a full meal, one should have cookies and mints and call it good. But don't fleece the guests

 

And where I'm from a hostess or hostesses provide refreshments for a baby shower. Again, if one can't afford anything more than cookies and tea then that was shat one offers, not a requirement for guests to provide a meal.

 

Am I wrong? We refused the first retirement party on principle but no one knows why we didn't go.

[Miss Peregrine]

Rude.

[Mynyel]

I don't understand it either.

 

It is like the mandatory "donation" for things. :001_huh: If it is mandatory it isn't a donation.

 

I haven't gone to things because of things like that.

 

Raising money for charity is one thing, charging people to come to the party is another.

 

What is next...Bring your own cupcake birthday parties?

[Kate CA]

Invitation to baby shower: cover charge is bring a covered dish. This is in addition to any gift one wants to give the new mother.

 

I can understand the above though I would not do it. I would ask a few selected friends to help me provide the food if I could not do it on my own. However I don't think bringing a covered dish to a baby shower is too much to ask if all are good friends. Perhaps the hostess feels it is important to provide a solid meal for the babymama ;) and just can't do it. I would certainly give the benefit of the doubt on that one.

 

Retirement parties for a fee?!?! Wow, now *that* is outrageous! LOL

[Tap]

Beyond RUDE! I am sorry but unless you are very close family or it is specifically a pot luck, asking someone to bring a 'dish' is in very bad taste. Asking for a cover charge to a party, Crazy!

 

I think the only way I could ever see this appropriate is on an invite like this:

 

John and Judy are planning to go on a Riverboat cruise for their 40th anniversary. If you would like to join them, please contact Pacific Riverboat cruises at xxx-xxxx. We have tables reserved and a discounted price of $40 per couple. This covers the excursion and dinner.

 

(more details)

 

We would love to have you join us, but understand if it doesn't work for you.

 

 

 

It wasn't a party perse but more of a 'lets all go together' type event.

[dansamy]

I'd have refused the retirement parties. I'd have gone to the baby shower with a gift for the baby, but no covered dish. Now, if we were doing a freezer meal shower, I would bring an appropriate freezer meal for after the baby's birth, but I don't think that's what you meant.

[Tap]

. Double post

[Jennifer in MI]

I don't like the idea of a cover charge AT.ALL.

 

But, I have a cousin who is getting married this summer. We were asked to bring a dish to pass if we could. They are providing the meat and the drinks. This cousin is trying to keep her costs down by rejecting the entire wedding industry push. She is wearing a dress she already has. They are putting together a CD of music instead of a dj. A friend is doing the photos. They rented a church hall for $100 for the day. They are picking wild flowers from the area the morning of the wedding for bouquets.

 

As much as I used to dislike this practice and consider it rude, I can see how nice it is! We're all coming together and helping with her wedding. They are not going into debt to do it. This should be celebrated!

 

This is going to be a really fun wedding!! (BTW - shoes are optional too!!!)

[Tap]

I don't like the idea of a cover charge AT.ALL.

 

But, I have a cousin who is getting married this summer. We were asked to bring a dish to pass if we could. They are providing the meat and the drinks. This cousin is trying to keep her costs down by rejecting the entire wedding industry push. She is wearing a dress she already has. They are putting together a CD of music instead of a dj. A friend is doing the photos. They rented a church hall for $100 for the day. They are picking wild flowers from the area the morning of the wedding for bouquets.

 

As much as I used to dislike this practice and consider it rude, I can see how nice it is! We're all coming together and helping with her wedding. They are not going into debt to do it. This should be celebrated!

 

This is going to be a really fun wedding!! (BTW - shoes are optional too!!!)

 

I think that it is a nice idea when the whole wedding is happening with a 'budget friendly' theme.

[dansamy]

I don't like the idea of a cover charge AT.ALL.

 

But, I have a cousin who is getting married this summer. We were asked to bring a dish to pass if we could. They are providing the meat and the drinks. This cousin is trying to keep her costs down by rejecting the entire wedding industry push. She is wearing a dress she already has. They are putting together a CD of music instead of a dj. A friend is doing the photos. They rented a church hall for $100 for the day. They are picking wild flowers from the area the morning of the wedding for bouquets.

 

As much as I used to dislike this practice and consider it rude, I can see how nice it is! We're all coming together and helping with her wedding. They are not going into debt to do it. This should be celebrated!

 

This is going to be a really fun wedding!! (BTW - shoes are optional too!!!)

 

Something like this is completely acceptable. They've let friends and family know that they are welcome to come and help celebrate, but that the couple cannot afford to go into debt to throw a big, expensive party. They've asked that people who want to celebrate help in some way. I doubt that any friends/family would be turned down at the door if they were to show up with a gift and best wishes.

[AuntieM]

I don't like the idea of a cover charge AT.ALL.

 

But, I have a cousin who is getting married this summer. We were asked to bring a dish to pass if we could. They are providing the meat and the drinks. This cousin is trying to keep her costs down by rejecting the entire wedding industry push. She is wearing a dress she already has. They are putting together a CD of music instead of a dj. A friend is doing the photos. They rented a church hall for $100 for the day. They are picking wild flowers from the area the morning of the wedding for bouquets.

 

As much as I used to dislike this practice and consider it rude, I can see how nice it is! We're all coming together and helping with her wedding. They are not going into debt to do it. This should be celebrated!

 

This is going to be a really fun wedding!! (BTW - shoes are optional too!!!)

 

Jennifer, your cousin is brilliant! How wise! I would bring TWO dishes if asked to help out with something like this.

 

BUT, the circumstances mentioned by the OP? No way! That's totally rude! As for the baby shower, there should be a set of hostesses to plan in such a way that the event stays within the budget, since the guests will be bringing gifts to "shower" the new baby. The retirement parties... well, I guess I just find myself speechless.

 

Sigh... the entitlement mentality grows on and on...

[KidsHappen]

I don't know but my guess is that they may have fewer guests and presents and that the presents they do get will also be a lot cheaper.

[May]

I find these types of invitations boorish.

[Parrothead]

Thanks everyone.

 

I have to RSVP for the baby shower. Dh brought home the invitation (in flyer form?!) when he came to get lunch. It is all the same group of people - the other wives (or girlfrineds) of the people dh works with. Then there are the politics that goes along with this.

 

So do I simply decline the invitation on principle? Do I go and get suckered in to this?

 

Generally I try to avoid this group of women because they tend to be more than I want to deal with. Lots of gossip, cliques, and one cat fight in a local eatery. I equate it to them mentally never leaving high school.

 

Oh, I really don't want to go. But the new mom is dh's best friend's wife.

 

Help me decide what to do.

[rfoster]

Thanks everyone.

 

I have to RSVP for the baby shower. Dh brought home the invitation (in flyer form?!) when he came to get lunch. It is all the same group of people - the other wives (or girlfrineds) of the people dh works with. Then there are the politics that goes along with this.

 

So do I simply decline the invitation on principle? Do I go and get suckered in to this?

 

Generally I try to avoid this group of women because they tend to be more than I want to deal with. Lots of gossip, cliques, and one cat fight in a local eatery. I equate it to them mentally never leaving high school.

 

Oh, I really don't want to go. But the new mom is dh's best friend's wife.

 

Help me decide what to do.

 

This is your DH's best friend and his wife, so I'd 100% go because of this - no matter who was holding it. But I'd bring the 'covered dish' as a freezer meal in a plastic ziploc container or something. And when I got there say very loudly and obviously in front of everyone 'I am so embarrassed, I thought because the shower was for the arrival of Best Friend and Wife's new baby that the covered dish was for them, at a time when it would help them!'. Not exactly those words, but something like that. If nothing else, the hostess will probably feel lazy - which sounds like that wouldn't really be a bad thing. :D

[Garga]

 

Oh, I really don't want to go. But the new mom is dh's best friend's wife.

 

Help me decide what to do.

 

Come up with something else you have to do that day. Get them a really nice present and have dh give it to them another time.

[Carol in Cal.]

This is your DH's best friend and his wife, so I'd 100% go because of this - no matter who was holding it. But I'd bring the 'covered dish' as a freezer meal in a plastic ziploc container or something. And when I got there say very loudly and obviously in front of everyone 'I am so embarrassed, I thought because the shower was for the arrival of Best Friend and Wife's new baby that the covered dish was for them, at a time when it would help them!'. Not exactly those words, but something like that. If nothing else, the hostess will probably feel lazy - which sounds like that wouldn't really be a bad thing. :D

 

Gently...I would be TEMPTED to do this, but I wouldn't actually do it.

The invitation is rude, but being rude back would not be good.

All in, or not at all.

I would bring a wonderful, lavish dish, and a nice gift, and I would just charm the heck out of everyone. I would reserve all commentary for the boards! Remember the politics. Besides, there's no point in being driven to stoop to their level.

Either that, or "I'm so sorry, but I have plans that day."

[rfoster]

Gently...I would be TEMPTED to do this, but I wouldn't actually do it.

The invitation is rude, but being rude back would not be good.

All in, or not at all.

I would bring a wonderful, lavish dish, and a nice gift, and I would just charm the heck out of everyone. I would reserve all commentary for the boards! Remember the politics. Besides, there's no point in being driven to stoop to their level.

Either that, or "I'm so sorry, but I have plans that day."

 

You are right, of course, I'm just ornery like that. :001_smile:

[AuntieM]

Gently...I would be TEMPTED to do this, but I wouldn't actually do it.

The invitation is rude, but being rude back would not be good.

All in, or not at all.

I would bring a wonderful, lavish dish, and a nice gift, and I would just charm the heck out of everyone. I would reserve all commentary for the boards! Remember the politics. Besides, there's no point in being driven to stoop to their level.

Either that, or "I'm so sorry, but I have plans that day."

 

This is wonderful advice, difficult as it may be. The guest of honor might be looking forward to your participation as the bright spot in what she might otherwise by dreading.

[Starr]

I don't like the idea of a cover charge AT.ALL.

 

But, I have a cousin who is getting married this summer. We were asked to bring a dish to pass if we could. They are providing the meat and the drinks. This cousin is trying to keep her costs down by rejecting the entire wedding industry push. She is wearing a dress she already has. They are putting together a CD of music instead of a dj. A friend is doing the photos. They rented a church hall for $100 for the day. They are picking wild flowers from the area the morning of the wedding for bouquets.

 

As much as I used to dislike this practice and consider it rude, I can see how nice it is! We're all coming together and helping with her wedding. They are not going into debt to do it. This should be celebrated!

 

This is going to be a really fun wedding!! (BTW - shoes are optional too!!!)

 

DD 16 wouldn't think it special if she couldn't buy a new pair of shoes. :lol: Have fun!

[Parrothead]

Thanks everyone. I'll prepare something light, put on a dress (what do you want to bet I'm the only one dressed up for the occasion), and play nice.

[aggieamy]

This is your DH's best friend and his wife, so I'd 100% go because of this - no matter who was holding it. But I'd bring the 'covered dish' as a freezer meal in a plastic ziploc container or something. And when I got there say very loudly and obviously in front of everyone 'I am so embarrassed, I thought because the shower was for the arrival of Best Friend and Wife's new baby that the covered dish was for them, at a time when it would help them!'. Not exactly those words, but something like that. If nothing else, the hostess will probably feel lazy - which sounds like that wouldn't really be a bad thing. :D

 

Ooh. I really love this idea. I have a very bold cousin who would do something like this but I don't have the guts.

[unsinkable]

I don't like the idea of a cover charge AT.ALL.

 

But, I have a cousin who is getting married this summer. We were asked to bring a dish to pass if we could. They are providing the meat and the drinks. This cousin is trying to keep her costs down by rejecting the entire wedding industry push. She is wearing a dress she already has. They are putting together a CD of music instead of a dj. A friend is doing the photos. They rented a church hall for $100 for the day. They are picking wild flowers from the area the morning of the wedding for bouquets.

 

As much as I used to dislike this practice and consider it rude, I can see how nice it is! We're all coming together and helping with her wedding. They are not going into debt to do it. This should be celebrated!

 

This is going to be a really fun wedding!! (BTW - shoes are optional too!!!)

 

This sounds very sweet! Didn't weddings used to always be this way?! Families providing a simple meal, etc...

[unsinkable]

Thanks everyone.

 

I have to RSVP for the baby shower. Dh brought home the invitation (in flyer form?!) when he came to get lunch. It is all the same group of people - the other wives (or girlfrineds) of the people dh works with. Then there are the politics that goes along with this.

 

So do I simply decline the invitation on principle? Do I go and get suckered in to this?

 

Generally I try to avoid this group of women because they tend to be more than I want to deal with. Lots of gossip, cliques, and one cat fight in a local eatery. I equate it to them mentally never leaving high school.

 

Oh, I really don't want to go. But the new mom is dh's best friend's wife.

 

Help me decide what to do.

 

The Real Housewives of Maine

[ereks mom]

If it is mandatory it isn't a donation.

 

 

 

:iagree:

[TechWife]

I threw a 50th anniversary party for my parents several years ago and didn't even ask my brothers & sisters to pitch in. I certainly wouldn't have asked the guests. I threw a party within our budget because we wanted to honor my parents but did not expect others to chip in. A couple of my sibs discreetly gave me $ to help cover the costs, the rest did not & I'm ok with that because I didn't expect it.

[m0mmaBuck]

I don't like the idea of a cover charge AT.ALL.

 

But, I have a cousin who is getting married this summer. We were asked to bring a dish to pass if we could. They are providing the meat and the drinks. This cousin is trying to keep her costs down by rejecting the entire wedding industry push. She is wearing a dress she already has. They are putting together a CD of music instead of a dj. A friend is doing the photos. They rented a church hall for $100 for the day. They are picking wild flowers from the area the morning of the wedding for bouquets.

 

As much as I used to dislike this practice and consider it rude, I can see how nice it is! We're all coming together and helping with her wedding. They are not going into debt to do it. This should be celebrated!

 

This is going to be a really fun wedding!! (BTW - shoes are optional too!!!)

 

This is very similar to the weddings I grew up attending. The wedding industry has really turned things into a dog-and-pony show and gotten away from the sense of family and community that makes a wedding special IMO.

 

With regard to the OP and the retirement parties, I would probably decline the invitations unless it was someone REALLY close to our family. The fact that they are charging a "cover charge" for attending such an event is boorish.

 

The baby shower situation I would attend gracefully as it is DH's best friend's wife. I can deal with bringing a dish to pass far better than being hit up for cash at the door.

[Margaret in GA]

I think you should attend the baby shower. To me, a potluck is a great way to have a casual get together - showers can be so stiff and un-fun to me. I would view it in this light-- more like an Amish get together instead of feeling put out.

[Delighted3]

I have to RSVP for the baby shower. Dh brought home the invitation (in flyer form?!) when he came to get lunch. It is all the same group of people - the other wives (or girlfrineds) of the people dh works with. Then there are the politics that goes along with this.

 

So do I simply decline the invitation on principle? Do I go and get suckered in to this?

/QUOTE]

 

 

Just because other people are less than graceful doesn't mean you have to be and it is just a covered dish. Look at the baby shower as what it is intended to be, a blessing for the new Mom and try to make it that by bringing a great dish and a great present and being a great guest. As to the hostess of the baby shower, she is probably going to a lot of work to make it a great shower for the new Mom and she thought this was a good way to do it. Give her the benefit of the doubt ;)

 

I would not pay to go to a retirement party and I think actually expecting cash goes way beyond a covered dish.

JMO,

Joy

[Tap]

I would give a gift for dh to give to the couple. I know you have decided to attend, but I wouldn't.

 

When dh's coworker was having her 1st baby he came home and told me exactly what he wanted to buy her and was pleased that he could be the one who gave it to her. He explained to her why he picked the item.

 

Later, I talked to her and she said at the time, she didn't think too much of it, just a baby gift. After the baby she understood his comments and said it was one of her favorite gifts and how much she appreciated the BTDT advice. She said she took it everywhere with her for the first 6mths. LOL She really liked that it came from him, personally with the anecdotes.

 

 

I know someone will ask, so I will tell you it was "What to Expect the First Year" and I also got her "The Happiest Baby on the Block". He knew that with our first child I read 'What to Expect..." cover to cover, and had used it or "What to Expect the Toddler Years" all the time since then. I personally love the medical chart for rashes/fevers/colds etc and even used them for my older kids. I also like the what do if ... for fevers, vomiting, and other ailments.

[Penelope]

I think it is rude to charge for a retirement party if the couple is throwing it themselves. IF it is a small group of close friends throwing it, I see no problem with saying, we are going out to dinner and it will be about $xx per couple. But that sounds different than what was posted.

 

For the baby shower, I think it is tacky if it is a big party and you don't know the woman well. I wouldn't have a problem with being asked to bring a covered dish if it was a close friend. But the ones where it is just a distant acquaintance, I might not go if I had to make food. I'd probably just take a gift to them later.

[Kate CA]

Just because other people are less than graceful doesn't mean you have to be and it is just a covered dish. Look at the baby shower as what it is intended to be, a blessing for the new Mom and try to make it that by bringing a great dish and a great present and being a great guest. As to the hostess of the baby shower, she is probably going to a lot of work to make it a great shower for the new Mom and she thought this was a good way to do it. Give her the benefit of the doubt ;)

 

I would not pay to go to a retirement party and I think actually expecting cash goes way beyond a covered dish.

JMO,

Joy

 

:iagree: :001_smile:

[dansamy]

You could do what I do when I have to attend a covered dish function at which I do not wish to be present. I buy a tray of cookies from the grocery store deli or a cake and call it good. I have an aunt that makes spinach dip and brings a box of those buttery crackers.

 

An invite saying something is covered dish is very different from one saying bring food in addition to your gift and presence. It's all in how it's worded. I also agree that onlly the close friends/family should be asked to bring a covered dish.

[LizzyBee]

Are the invitees just people from work? In the firms I've worked for, when we did showers and parties for people at work, we split the cost among everyone, not just the people who organized the parties.

[Parrothead]

I think you should attend the baby shower. To me, a potluck is a great way to have a casual get together - showers can be so stiff and un-fun to me. I would view it in this light-- more like an Amish get together instead of feeling put out.

Nope, I'm not put out or feeling put upon. I really was wondering if this it the new normal since we received three invitations in a row like this. All of these invitations have been given withing the last 5 week. All involving dh's work in some way.

 

Just because other people are less than graceful doesn't mean you have to be and it is just a covered dish. Look at the baby shower as what it is intended to be, a blessing for the new Mom and try to make it that by bringing a great dish and a great present and being a great guest. As to the hostess of the baby shower, she is probably going to a lot of work to make it a great shower for the new Mom and she thought this was a good way to do it. Give her the benefit of the doubt ;)

 

I would not pay to go to a retirement party and I think actually expecting cash goes way beyond a covered dish.

JMO,

Joy

What? Why would you say this? I don't see how my questioning three invitations in a row that require an "entry fee" is being ungraceful. And what in this thread have I said that would lead you to believe that I'd bring crappy food, a cheap gift or be ungracious at the event?

[Parrothead]

Are the invitees just people from work? In the firms I've worked for, when we did showers and parties for people at work, we split the cost among everyone, not just the people who organized the parties.

See, that is just it. It is the husbands that work together. Out of the 30 or so invited (if all the wives were) I could make my way to one person's house, and she isn't the the lady having the baby.

[Rosie_0801]

Invitation to a retirement party: cover charge $20.00 per person, $40.00 per couple.

 

Invitation to another retirement party: cover charge $10.00 per person, $20.00 per couple

 

If these parties were held at a restaurant, I would expect to be paying for my own meal, so this wouldn't bother me (unless I knew it was a crappy restaurant :lol:)

 

If these parties were being organised by someone other than the retiree (their workmates,) and the idea was to chip in so no one had to foot the entire bill, thereby making it impossible to be able to afford the gathering at all, I wouldn't be offended. I probably wouldn't go to the more expensive one though, because I'm not made of money.

 

If these parties were being organised and hosted by the retirees at their house, asking for money would be really tacky, but in the situation, I'd expect to bring a plate to contribute or drinks.

 

 

Invitation to baby shower: cover charge is bring a covered dish. This is in addition to any gift one wants to give the new mother.

 

I haven't experienced this, since I've only been to one or two baby showers, but I wouldn't find this at all unreasonable. I hang out with wage-challenged people, so most occasions are pot luck.

 

Rosie

[Mejane]

I think if you're kicking in for the party, you're not a guest - you're a host. :D

[mcconnellboys]

Wow! Guess no one's ready Emily Post in years. Or maybe the recession is making it impossible for folks to host their own parties these days. Either way, seems like they'd just do what they CAN afford, as you suggest, or forget about a party......

[OrganicAnn]

Retirement parties are usually work situations. If the company or whatever, doesn't host/pay for the party, then it might be customary for the co-workers to share the cost and co-host the party.

 

I can understand asking family or extended family to contribute a dish to a baby shower or similar event. But indiscriminately asking everyone to bring a dish, is not cool and probably unnecessary. Usually three or so dishes well planned dishes will feed people at a shower.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Hmmm...I've never heard of such a thing. Weird and a bit rude. If you can't afford the party you want to throw, change it. I don't see charging people to attend an invitation.

[Delighted3]

What? Why would you say this? I don't see how my questioning three invitations in a row that require an "entry fee" is being ungraceful. And what in this thread have I said that would lead you to believe that I'd bring crappy food, a cheap gift or be ungracious at the event?

 

I am sorry if you thought that I was implying that you would be anything but gracious. I did not intend to imply anything about your character at all. I obviously misread the question and was replying with what I would do in this one situation. Please accept my apologies.

Joy

[Peela]

Bringing a plate to an informal function is pretty standard around where I live- (often instead of presents). But not to those sorts of things.

 

I find baby showers a bit over the top no matter what you are asked to do or bring. I never had one and I find the whole concept a bit rude, personally. Once a baby is born, fine, bring a gift on your first visit to see the new babe, but that is different from throwing a party to get gifts whileyou are pregnant- then what, you are meant to give more after the birth?

 

I would not pay to go to a party unless I really wanted to go to the party for some personal reason. Certainly not out of obligation. And I wouldnt call it a party- I would called it a function.

 

For dh and my wedding, we asked for no gifts because we were already established in a home, with children, and we didnt need anything, and didn't want a whole lot of "stuff". We asked that people bring a plate of food instead of a present. We provided drinks and wedding cake.

I can understand that a young couple starting out in life get presents for their wedding. It is practical and a way for the whole community surrounding the couple to support them off to a good start in life.

 

Gift giving (whether its money or stuff) has become so obligatory and plain greedy though, and I find myself resenting sending presents to my parents, who I see every 2-3 years if I'm lucky, 3 times a year! What for? What does it mean?

 

Its a shame that the consumerism of gift giving has poluted the beauty of true gift giving from the heart.

[Truscifi]

Potlucks are standard among my group of friends, so I wouldn't think twice about it, even for a baby shower. But we are all good friends, have been for years, and we all know we are all in the same boat financially. From dh's coworkers who I barely know? I don't know about that one. I agree with PP though, if it were important to dh to go, I would go and do my best to be charming.

 

The retirement parties with a cover charge are bizarre to me. Is the retiree throwing the party and charging?

[Sherry in OH]

When I was working, this sort of event was common. The guest of honor is a colleague, not necessarily a friend. One colleague arranges the event, everyone who wants to attend, chips in for part of the costs.

 

I once went to two retirement parties for the same person. A colleague planned a brunch at his house. I contributed a covered dish and cash toward a group gift. The guests were colleagues and spouses. The retiree's family hosted a second party for family and friends. I took a small personal gift for the retiree.

[Heather in Neverland]

Hmmm...I've never heard of such a thing. Weird and a bit rude. If you can't afford the party you want to throw, change it. I don't see charging people to attend an invitation.

 

:iagree:

[angela in ohio]

Hmmm...I've never heard of such a thing. Weird and a bit rude. If you can't afford the party you want to throw, change it. I don't see charging people to attend an invitation.

 

:iagree:

 

We need a kung fu Miss Manners to go around and knock some heads in. :D

 

People want to throw lavish parties, but don't want to pay for them. Instead of fleecing guests, get over one of those two desires. :001_smile:

 

*I do have to say that the pot luck baby shower would not be uncommon on one side of my family. If it a custom, it's not really rude. Of course, we have casual baby showers thrown by a loving aunt and attended by family. That's different from most showers I have attended outside of that part of the family.*

 

I'm throwing a 40th for my parents, and I started saving now for a party in two years. I expect db and I to pay for it. Some aunts will invariably slip us money to help with it, but we are not planning on charging a cover. :001_huh:

[Barry Goldwater]

I'd be too annoyed to go. Tacky & classless to ask for a cover charge - what, are the Rolling Stones making an appearance?

 

:rant:

 

Also, retirement party/gift? Considering I'm working myself to death to help pay for current and near future baby boomer Social Security recipients (retirees) for the next 35 years, with a virtual guarantee that I'll never see a dime of my own money that I've paid in, I'd tell them "I gave at the office."

:rant:

[SquirrellyMama]

I think the potluck baby shower would be fine for really close friends who are throwing the party together. I think it is like the wedding someone else mentioned earlier. I really don't see much difference in those two.

 

I think a potluck baby shower would probably be more fun because I wouldn't think it would be as inane as most are. I cannot stand baby shower games! I think a potluck would be people sitting around talking to the mama to be and each other. Eating, talking, laughing, giving gifts.

 

The retirement party cover charge seems rude.

[Parrothead]

I am sorry if you thought that I was implying that you would be anything but gracious. I did not intend to imply anything about your character at all. I obviously misread the question and was replying with what I would do in this one situation. Please accept my apologies.

Joy

No, I apologize. I'm a bit touchy of late.