potty training for boys?

[T'smom]

How old was your ds when he was potty-trained? How long did it take? Dh and I are disagreeing over ds's potty training. He'll be 3 in September and we have a new baby coming in July. Dh wants it done NOW. He says that no 3 year old's wear diapers. I think it's easier to wait until ds is ready and it will only take a few days instead of fighting about it with him for weeks. (Plus, I don't believe it's THAT unusual for 3 year olds to not be potty trained, especially just-turned-3 yo's.) We've been trying it out for 3 days now, and twice this morning we've "tried" to potty and then less than 10 minutes after "trying", he's wet his pants. I think this means he's not ready- he doesn't know how to anticipate it, he only knows when it's actually happening... What says the hive?

[AK_Mom4]

Both my boys trained while they were 2. The younger boy was older (nearly 3) because we waited until summer time so he could run around in easy-to-remove shorts instead of winter layers. With both boys, though, we had to wait until they has some control - staying dry at night or for a couple hours during the day. For my older boy, that came earlier than the younger.

 

And it helps if they actually want to do it - my younger boy wanted to wear underwear so he could go pee on trees in the back yard with his brother. Sigh.

[Wheres Toto]

My son was 3 1/2 before he would use the potty with any consistency whatsoever and over 4 before accidents weren't a daily thing (he'd get caught up in playing and forget until it was too late). From other moms I know (and the number of online groups for potty training children over 3), this isn't unusual at all.

 

My youngest will be three next month. We are trying to potty train her but she is very stubborn and flat out refuses no matter what we do. Since making it a miserable experience can just lead to more problems in the long run, we're letting it be for now. I am thinking of switching to cloth training pants since being able to feel the wet may move things along a little.

 

My oldest was easy, fully trained by 2 1/2. :tongue_smilie:

[3lilreds in NC]

Schmooey is almost 3, and is not potty trained yet. I think this is mostly because of me. He certainly knows how to use the potty, but is not interested in worrying about it. I am trying to decide when *I* want to be disciplined about training him.

 

It is, however, patently false that "no 3 year old children wear diapers." My younger dd wore diapers until she was 3 because she wasn't interested and I didn't want to force her. I made her do it when she turned 3 because I felt like it was time. We could have waited, though. It was a long, messy process.

 

Lots of boys wear diapers longer. My sister has had all 4 of her kids trained by the time they were 2 or shortly thereafter, even her son. My SIL, however, waited until my nephew was 3 to start training him. It went pretty quickly at that point, I think.

 

You might give it a try with your ds. Not all children will let you know when they're ready. It really would be nice for you not to have 2 in diapers - BTDT! However, you will be busy with your new one and perhaps not be quite as free to take the 3 yo to the bathroom constantly, as they are sometimes wont to do at that age.

[Samiam]

Totally depends on the child...there is no "perfect age"

 

-ds 1: Took exactly one week from start to finish...and rarely had any accidents....age 2 (course he was in daycare then so that helped with peers going to the bathroom, etc, and of course this was another example of life tricking us into thinking that we were the PERFECT parents, cuz everything came easy with this child)

 

-ds 2: Age four....and constant urine accidents and bed-wetting until age 6 (took to see a chiropractor and accidents stopped after several chiro treatments, and this was life reminding us that we were NOT the perfect parents, cuz nothing came easy with this child)

 

-ds 3: Age three.....DH was of the same mind as yours, think he was just DONE with diapers by this point in life...tried several attempts to just go with underwear prior to this...all failed....finally just waited....one day he was just ready...told he us he had to go, and from that point, he was pretty much good to go, so to speak.

 

Around age 2 and maybe a bit older, I think is a great time to have that constant conversation about "using the potty", but I don't think it's necessary or usefull to force it.

 

Actually, and this is the lazy part of me....sometimes with multiple children, it's almost easier to have them in diapers...there's no running to the bathroom, cuz child waited to the last second to realize/tell you, meanwhile you have other children doing something, and you either drag the whole gang or leave a few behind for a minute, etc etc etc.

[mom2koh]

DS is 3 years and 3 months as we are just now potty trained in the day. He still wears pull-ups at night.

 

I tried when he was younger and it was a battle. One day about a month ago he brought his undies to me when we were getting dressed and he said "I wear these now!". Then it was done and he only had one accident!

 

I would wait until the child is ready. But that's my two pennies. ;)

 

:grouphug: and good luck.

[Parrothead]

Does he stay dry at night? If not, he isn't ready. If he stays dry at night get up a bit before his usual time so you can be ready to help him to the potty as soon as he wakes up.

 

Summer is a great time to go nakkie. If you live in an area that is a bit secluded let him go out and water the trees.

 

Toss some cheerios in the toilet and have him practice aiming.

 

 

Make it as fun as possible. And let him feel the wet - no pull ups.

[athena1277]

My ds just learned to pee in the potty 2 weeks ago and he will be 3 next week. He is staying dry all day, but is not pooping in the potty yet. Personally, i would wait as kids will usually regress after a big change like a new baby and you don't want to get him potty trained and then have him start wetting again when baby comes. BTW, my dd took longer to learn. She was about a month past her 3rd birthday before she got it and we had been working on it for months.

[flobee76]

:lurk5: watching this... my DS is going to be 3 in August... and NEEDS to be PT'd.

[Laura Corin]

One trained at 2 1/2 and it was easy. One started training at 3 but was still having accidents at 5. He was not dry at night until he was 6.

 

Laura

[zookeeperof3]

It's usually better to wait until after the new baby comes. My oldest was trained until his sister was born ( when he was 2 1/2). He went right back to wearing diapers because he wanted my attention too. He did re-train permanently about 6 months later.

 

My middle child, a girl, was potty trained by her older brother when she was 2 1/2. Yes, he taught her to pee standing up like a boy, straddling the toilet. It was hysterical. She did that for about 6 months, the she decided it was easier to sit.

 

My youngest son who will be 4 in August still wears a diaper to bed ( he hates pullups), and wears diapers for long car trips. He will NOT use the potty ANYWHERE but at home...EVER. We learned that on vacation. It has been a struggle to potty train this child. He inisist he is the baby ( he is) and that babies wear diapers. Even now, when he's tired or sick he asks for a diaper.:lol:

 

It will happen when the child is ready....and not one minute before( in my experience)!

Kim

[babysparkler]

My 3 boys potty trained at ages 4, 3.5 and 2.5. It really all depends on readiness and willingness.

[AngelaNYC]

My ds was exactly 2 1/2. It took almost 2 weeks to fully train, but he was dry from the first night. I think my method works so well because I get rid of all diapers and pullups from day 1 of training - even at night (the diaper fairy comes to take them to give them to all the new babies who need them, lol, leaving ds with awesome brand new cartoon character underwear). I use a sticker chart to track progress and see a pattern, and yes we go through lots of underwear and towels that first week. There will be accidents and that's normal as he adjusts. You need to have a lot of patience and at least 2 uninterrupted weeks with ds, but it's worth it.

[fairfarmhand]

I think this means he's not ready- he doesn't know how to anticipate it' date=' he only knows when it's actually happening... What says the hive?[/quote']

 

 

Actually, and this is the lazy part of me....sometimes with multiple children, it's almost easier to have them in diapers...there's no running to the bathroom, cuz child waited to the last second to realize/tell you, meanwhile you have other children doing something, and you either drag the whole gang or leave a few behind for a minute, etc etc etc.

 

 

ugh...my ds is 2.5. And it is not going to happen anytime soon. I know gobs of 3 yr olds in diapers. I'm going to wait awhile. Every couple weeks I'll put the big boy pants on him and see what happens, but he usually makes it pretty clear that now is not the time yet. I'd say after three days if he is not going in the pot at least half the time, then he is not ready.

 

Call your doctor if you need backup to your dh. Every time I've gone in for a 2 yr check up, the doctor says "it's not uncommon for kids to be 3 or 3.5 before potty training so don't stress over it!"

[Heather in the Kootenays]

Ds was 4 as I recall. The other thing I recall was that trying to potty train before he was ready was a total waste of time and energy as well as being very frustrating.

[jelbe5]

Hi,

 

I have not read all the posts but I will tell you what I did . . . perhaps it will be helpful. My son has special needs and I did not think I could train him. He was a bit older (6) and almost completely non-verbal but this is what I did. I put him in a long t-shirt with no underpants and I took him into the bathroom every 10 minutes for half a day . . . then moved it to every 20-30 by the afternoon. Within two days he was trained for urine. It took longer for #2 but that had to do with sensory issues. He still wanted a diaper. So the rule was he had to wear a diaper only when he was ready to go and he had to go into the bathroom. After he was done I helped him out of the diaper and the underwear went back on. He has always been dry at night.

 

I think if your son is 3 and communicates well with you to give it a go. I cleared the calendar for those initial days when I was taking him into the bathroom all the time. But it payed off for us. BUT, don't be surprised if there is a little regression after the baby come.

 

Adrianne in IL

[babysparkler]

My ds was exactly 2 1/2. It took almost 2 weeks to fully train, but he was dry from the first night. I think my method works so well because I get rid of all diapers and pullups from day 1 of training - even at night

 

This is exactly what I did that was so successful with my 2.5 year old. He asked for a diaper the first day and I reminded him how we took all of the diapers out with the garbage (he was involved in the diaper-trashing event). Once he realized there was no turning back, he took to it very quickly. In my experience, Pull-Ups only draw out the process longer. We actually did no underpants/shorts for the first few days and that really helped him remember to use the potty.

[lailasmum]

I have known 5 yr old boys in diapers. My 2 yr old is being really eratic. He is dry at night but not really bothered to go to the toilet reliably in the day. Think I may have try to take 2 weeks at home and get him some cute underwear as an incentive. He can do it but seems to not care. Mixing days in diapers and days in underwear doesn't help either.

[Pamela H in Texas]

We used Potty Train in a Day when ds was 25months old. It took one morning plus 4 days of back up. I have since used this method to some degree or another with MANY other little boys (daycare, foster, etc). It's quick and simple. You give it a good try and if it doesn't take, put it up for a couple months and try again. That seems like it could work for both your hubby and you.

 

I don't like this waiting til 3, 4, 5 yr old trend; but IMO, it is better to wait than to stress.

 

ETA: You MAY be able to see a "Cheetos method" post if you search. I've outlined it a few times. I've only had one kid I had to wait with and that was a 2.5 yr old girl (a foster child which probably had something to do with it).

Edited June 23, 2010 by 2J5M9K

[Lara in Colo]

My DS was 1 month away from 3 when we trained. I did all the children the same. I put the potty chair in the middle of the living room (with lots of towels) Turned the heat down (or AC up)) so the room is chilly, gave them LOTS of fluids, and no underwear. (a dress or long shirt)

 

I set them on the potty every 10 min until the pee, then 45, 20,10,10,till pee. This usually takes 1 day with 4 back up days. Do nothing else that week, no lessons, no trips. Watch a bunch of movies and play games together. I did pull ups with the first and I think this made things go slower. 4rth only pull ups at night and on long trips in the car.

 

Lara

[Carrie12345]

None of my kids (boys or girls) have been fully trained until closer to 4, if not actually 4.

 

My youngest turned 3 almost 2 months ago. He mostly uses the potty, but "forgets" at least once a day. He does not leave the house in underwear!

[shannatheshedevil]

I had my son almost trained right after he turned 18 months, but it was long and painful and was more of training *me* (a'la elimination communication) than training him. Then he broke his arm and it all went out the window. I started again shortly after he was 2 and it all came together like sunshine and rainbows.:D

[bluemongoose]

My DS was 23 months when he started pting. He was ready and willing. But it wasnt until 2.5yo that he stopped having accidents during the day and was able to use the public potty (this was a big hurdle for him). He is now 3yo and still requires a pull up at nap and overnight. He is a very heavy sleeper and doesnt wake to pee.

 

He started later than my DD and took longer, but he did just fine at the younger age.

 

And both of my kids did exactly as you described-peeing 10 min after you take them potty. That is a totally normal potty training experience. I just took them to the potty in short intervals (every 15 min or so) until they started having success and then lengthened the intervals a little at a time.

[T'smom]

Thanks for all the replies!

 

I searched for the Cheetos method and that sounds interesting.....I tried to get him to drink a lot of water, but he didn't want much. Cheetos would certainly help with that part.

 

I have read that kids aren't ready until they are dry at night and he is NOT dry at night. He completely fills his diaper every night. I bet the diaper weighs a pound in the morning. He has shown other signs of being ready- he has shown interest a few times over the last several months and he HAS gone on the potty several times.

 

I know that lots of 3 yos are still in diapers. But when dh said "3 year olds don't wear diapers" and I told him that. His response was "Name one." I couldn't- but now he can read these posts!

[Lara in Colo]

Is he peeing at night, or when he wakes up-before you get him from bed? Mine would be dry all night, but let 'er loose first thing!!

 

Lara

[shannatheshedevil]

I used cloth on my son, which allegedly leads to earlier training.

 

But, I don't think the "dry at night" is the be-all-to-end-all reason for potty training. I know people with 7 year olds that still pee at night, but I assure you they aren't still wearing pull-ups to soccer practice. Even if you just potty train him during the day, that cuts down on the amount of diapers you're using.

[Dawn in OH]

Owen will be 3 in August and just isn't ready. I've tried several times now, and he just doesn't yet know before he has to go. He's getting better about telling me right after he's gone though.

 

My oldest son was also at least 3 or 3 1/2 when he potty trained.

[Desert Rat]

I was in the same position you are in. My oldest was 2 yr 10 months when my youngest was born. I chose to wait until the baby was 3 months old to try to potty train my oldest. I didn't want any regression when the baby came and I wanted to get nursing established before I had to try to run down the hall to help my oldest with the potty. It worked just fine. It took us 3 days or so to get the whole peeing thing down. A little longer for #2. He was dry through the night within 4 months.

My youngest also potty trained right after his 3rd birthday, with about the same result.

HTH

[gpsings]

Both of my girls were trained by 2 and a half...my middle daughter was 2...my son I worked with for a year and a half, and on his 3rd birthday (without any coaxing at all) decided he was a big boy. :rolleyes:

[smrtmama]

26 months and 22 months, and it took two days with the older and a week with the younger.

[Melissa in Australia]

I trained all of mine before/at 2. I found boys were the easiest. they went outside on the lemon tree. they got a sticker on a chart for every wee they did out on the tree, or in the toilet. When they had the page full, they would be aloud to go to the toyshop and pick out whatever they wanted(one thing ). we even went to the toyshop for a look to check out the toys.

It took them about 1/2 a day to work out how to tell when they had to go, form just realizing that they had wet themselves, and they were toilet trained completely during the day in 2 months.

It is very parent intensive for the first week, and the first month has increased laundry. but I think it is well worth doing before the next baby arrives.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I tried multiple times with ds1, but he wasn't completely potty trained until about 4.5. Ds2 was closer to 3.5. Ds1 had no interest. Ds2 only did it because ds1 was.

[sleepymommy]

Ds1 was pt for day and night by 2 1/2 yrs.

 

Ds2-day 2/12, still working on night. He now only has night "accidents" once or twice a week. But I was a lot more proactive with ds1, getting up at night and taking him and such, but not with ds2.

[Jilly]

My oldest son pt at 24 months. He figured it out in one day, so it was very easy for me. My youngest son was almost three by the time he was ready, and it took him weeks to get it. I remember my nephew was four when he got out of diapers. I think it just depends on the child.

[michaeljenn]

I have 6 children, 3 boys and 3 girls... the girls were anywhere from 2-3years. My 1st boy was 1 month shy of 3yo and my 2nd boy will be 4 in October and we JUST NOW finally potty trained him! He was SO HARD to train! We started at 2 1/2 too... he just could not hold and and get it. He is trained now though... SIGH!!! My 3rd boy is only 9 months, but I will not stress about it. He will get it when he is ready:)

[MelanieM]

My son was 20 mos old when he was completely diaper-free, and at that point he hadn't used a diaper for a bowel movement in perhaps 6 mos. But we practice elimination communication, so our children use the potty from 2 mos of age or so.

[mommabird]

My nephew is almost 5 and still wears a pull up at night. I can tell he is not even interested in trying to go without a diaper.

[scmama]

Well as a mom of an almost 4 yr old boy, I'm happy to see that others are like my son. My mom called me a slacker for not having him potty trained sooner. He showed no interest until 2 months ago! I was like "enough already"!!! He's doing good, but isn't into a big habit just yet..There's times that he goes for a long streak doing well, and there's times that he just wants to go and not be bothered with it! Laziness on his part! I think it will catch on soon. We started using a sticker system that he really likes as an incentive. Just a piece of paper stuck on the bathroom door, but I have to redo it every week, otherwise he thinks he has enough stickers, and doesn't bother to want to add more! LOL!

My first boy was trained by 2 and a half, and wore pull ups to bed for about 6 months, just to make sure he stayed dried and as a back up plan for late arrivals to the bathroom. He did awesome!!

My daughter was finished completely by 4, but she had a serious fear of being flushed down the toliet (even the tub when I let the water out) so she used a potty chair until she grew out of it and had no choice but to use the toliet! That was fun!

But you can't really rush them without high levels of stress and frustration on both parties! I guess my son might not be in the "norm", but at least he's in there some where! I was really worried with this myself, and was going to post a question like this myself. So thank you for doing it for me!

I guess it just takes time, but good luck!!!

[nd293]

If it's warm where you are, I definitely would not wait. Lots of pants free time with reminders to pee (in the toilet, on the grass, wherever) should do the trick pretty quickly.

 

DS was potty-trained a little before he was 3yrs. I think things should be well under way by 3yrs, although it can still be a work in progress, depending on the child!

[Sasharowan]

Oldest, after trying for a year, we pulled the diapers away at 4 and said that's it. He had about a week of accidents, and then gave in and started using the potty. He is and was an incredibly stubborn boy. He also continued bedwetting until about 8, but his dad has a history of that too.

 

ds9 decided he was done with diapers about 3y9mo. He chose the week that dad and oldest were gone for a funeral, I had finals in college, and Grandma was babysitting. Grandma only had girls, no experience with boys. But once he decided he was done, he was fine and only had accidents like at the park where he waited too long and the bathrooms were too far away.

 

Ds4 was trained at 3.5 because of peer pressure from older siblings, but still has accidents fairly often when he is too into playing or watching a movie to go in time. He has also started bedwetting again after being dry for a couple of months.

 

ETA: DD was also 4 before training, but once trained she was fine except for illness related accidents.

[T'smom]

I'm glad that there are lots of other people in the same boat! He is definitely not dry at night- since I'm 8 months pregnant, I have to get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, so I checked his diaper at 4 am this morning and it was very wet. I didn't think that was the be-all, end-all because of course lots of kids have problems with bed-wetting long after being pt'd. But it does show up on a lot of 'readiness checklists'. That, coupled with the fact that he'll 'try' (at my insistence) and then wet his pants 10 minutes later. I don't think that he knows when it's coming.

[Beach Mom]

I learned my lesson with my first and waited until the boys were ready. The little one decided right before his 3rd birthday to be trained. We were on our way to the beach and he said "Mom, I don't need my diapers anymore." Amazingly, he was dry from then on! My second showed signs of readiness about a month before turning 3 and was trained in about a week.

 

So much easier than the torture I put myself through trying to train DD before she was ready - just because my mother told me it was time, and I was too inexperienced to know better.

 

Wait! I had two in diapers for about 3 years. It's not the greatest thing ever, but like every phase it passes.

[texasmama]

Both of my girls trained before the age of three and both of my boys trained after the age of three. There is no "shame" to wearing diapers after the age of three. What worked with my last boy was keeping him naked from the waist down. He didn't want to go on the floor so he went in the potty. It took a few days and we hung out at home a lot.:tongue_smilie: Do whatever works for you, your son and your family, though, and don't worry about the rest.

[texasmama]

Also, being daytime trained and being dry at night are two totally different creatures. The nighttime wetting is not within their control, in my experience with my own kids. I just put them in pull ups as long as they needed them. I had one in pull ups until the age of 8, one who never wore them because he got up to go potty at nighttime from the time he was daytime trained on...and two in between.

[JennyD]

My older son trained shortly before he turned three -- and about two weeks after his younger brother was born. Once he saw the baby wearing diapers he was ready to be done. At 5yo, though, he is still not night trained. He stays dry because we take him to the bathroom while asleep in the middle of the night, but he never, ever wakes up on his own.

 

My younger son, now 2.5, trained immediately after he turned two. I did almost nothing; it was all about wanting to be like his big brother. He also stays dry at night and regularly wakes up when he has to go. (I keep him in pullups, though, because his older brother has to wear them and I just can't open that can of worms.)

 

FWIW, I know lots of folks have great success with the run-around-pantless thing, but it completely freaked my older son out. He did MUCH better with the security of pullups. #2, OTOH, was happy as a clam to run around sans pants.

[Lolly]

Ds was VERY young. But, he started asking me to take him to the potty. He is #4. Everyone else used the potty. He wanted to be like everyone else.

 

I am not a fan of waiting to pt. I think most kids can learn to use the potty by age 2. They don't need to be dry over night. EVery kid wets shortly after "trying" to potty when they first start learning. BUT, there is no way I would attempt to potty train a kid who was about to have a new baby born into the family in the next month. I would wait until the baby was on somewhat of a regular sleeping schedule and the uproar of a newborn has settled down.

[Wheres Toto]

If I potty trained when my kids were dry overnight, it would have been around a year old for all three of them. My younger two wake up dry 99% of the time since they were about a year old. They don't get up to use the bathroom, they just wake up dry and then pee a HUGE amount as soon as they get up.