At what age do you start leaving dc home alone?

[TKDmom]

When did you start leaving your children at home during the day for an hour or so? When would you leave just the oldest at home alone? When do you consider them old enough to supervise younger siblings during the day? I'm not there yet. I'm just curious when others' feel it's appropriate to leave dc at home.

Edited June 22, 2010 by bonniebeth4

[Chelle in MO]

Age 12 is the general rule of thumb at our house. Of course, we do take into account different personality types and dynamics when applying that rule.

[Renee in NC]

Age 12 is the general rule of thumb at our house. Of course, we do take into account different personality types and dynamics when applying that rule.

 

:iagree:

[Ester Maria]

A 7 y.o. can handle an hour or so during the day.

A 9 y.o. can handle an entire morning or afternoon.

A 11 y.o. can handle an entire day (without night, day only).

A 13 y.o. can handle an entire day with night.

A 15 y.o. can handle an entire weekend / a couple of days.

A 17 y.o. can handle an entire week.

 

We're at 12-13 stage right now, but that's a general plan, and pretty much how I was raised. :)

[Jennifer in MI]

I started leaving my oldest around 10. Now, at 14, he stays home for an entire afternoon occasionally.

 

My now-12 yo was left with his older brother when the older was 13.

 

I now leave all four home occasionally.

 

I have also left my 9 yo home on rare occasions - less than an hour and when I was nearby.

[Joanne]

Not before 11. After that, it depends on personality, time of day, length of time, circumstances, etc.

[Guest]

I would say not before 11, and only for a few hours during the day. I think a 13 year old can babysit for several hours.

[mom2a&z]

We started leaving them home for short periods of time when dd was 11 and ds was 9 1/2. Last December my dh had surgery on his knee and we couldn't find anyone to watch them, so they stayed home alone until about 7pm. They did great and felt very grown up.

 

Now that dd is 12 and ds is 10 1/2 we can actually go on date nights, but we are home by 10:30.

 

We always say that they are old enough to be responsible for themselves so we don't consider dd to be the "babysitter". There are 2 computers and 2 tvs in the house so they each can have their own space and not bother each other too much.

 

The only down side for them is that they are not allowed to have any friends over nor are they allowed to go to someone else's house.

[Amy loves Bud]

We started leaving DS home for short periods (usually an hour or less) around ten. Now I will leave him (now 11) and his 9 year old sister for 1-2 hours. We live in a close knit neighborhood and I am always sure one of our "go to" friends is home.

 

I have not let the 11 year old watch the two year old, but not because he is not ready for the responsibility, it's just that the 2 year old is such a pill! I don't think she would listen to anything he asked her to do.

 

I was babysitting infants on up by age 11.

[angela in ohio]

13, and she was very mature. Otherwise, it might have been later.

 

If I had a terrible need to have them home alone (an emergency of some sort,) I might have considered 11 or 12, but I never had a good enough reason to risk it.

[Dmmetler]

In my state, 12 is the legal minimum age that a child can be left alone.

[chris's girl]

states have laws on this too, so that's something to consider. here i think 8-9 year olds can stay home alone for an hour, but they can't watch other children until 12. i started leaving ODD home alone when i'd run to the grocery when she was about 11.5. she's 12 now and i let her 9yo (almost 10) sister stay with her at times, just for an hour or so. but we have 6 and 8 year old boys who i would not trust to stay with her, even though she's old enough legally. she is a push over and they can be wild.

[lionfamily1999]

When did you start leaving your children at home during the day for an hour or so?

8, but not during school hours.

When would you leave just the oldest at home alone?

8

When do you consider them old enough to supervise younger siblings during the day?

That depends on them ;) Jo was watching Drew for short bursts when she was 12. Now, she watches both boys when needed. She also sits for other people :p

I'm not sure about leaving the boys home alone together... ever. I'm just not sure I would have a home to return to :lol:

[RanchMom]

Sometimes when the weather is inclement and I think there's a possibility I may end up walking in a snowdrift (because I got stuck or slid into the ditch), I leave my dc home when I need to drive to the other part of our ranch to do chores. Just started that last winter. They were then 9, 8, 7, and 6. I planned to be gone less than an hour, gave explicit instructions for what is/not acceptable in my absence, took a cell phone along, and knew they could call DH at work. Because that worked out on occasion, DH and I have now gone out to dinner (four blocks from home) a couple times--with cell phone.

Okay, okay, I use the TV as a babysitter--before I leave, they have to agree on which Roy Rogers movie they're going to watch! But sometimes I return and find them all reading a book. (They get "points" for reading. Bribery works.)

[JudoMom]

In my state, 12 is the legal minimum age that a child can be left alone.

 

Actually, for TN, it looks like there is a recommendation of 10, but no law. There is a full list on the linked site.

[3lilreds in NC]

I will leave the girls home together if I have to run to the store that's just down the road for something quick, or when I have taken Isaac to preschool that's less than 5 miles away and come right back. They are OK to do that. I don't leave them with Isaac, though. He always comes with me.

[Pamela H in Texas]

My kids were 9 and 7, I think, when I left them for an hour here and there. Neither was in charge of the other and there were a handful of extra rules. However, honestly, I wouldn't have left either ALONE at that age either. "Everybody needs backup." :)

 

There is NO way I would have children close in age be in charge of one another. A 10yo should not be watching his 6yo sibling, mo. For SOME kids, if there is a large age difference, it would be okay. For other sibling groups, it just isn't. I have a friend who I can't believe leaves her kids together (there is a 9 yr age difference). I have another friend whose children are 9 and 10 years different and she knows better. But there was never an issue with my baby sister staying with my siblings and me. So it really depends on the kids involved, but I'd only do it with a very large age difference and if it worked for THOSE kids.

 

Generally, I think 10ish is probably appropriate for most kids. Again, completely individualized though. I think my son was 11 before left alone. He did do some babysitting at that point also (very short term unless I was also home).

 

Anyway, better safe than sorry is my general thought.

 

BTW, something bad, not my children's fault, DID happen and they weren't left alone for quite awhile despite a move after that though they handled the situation well. Again, better safe than sorry.

[Sparkle]

12 is the general rule here. I'm fine with leaving my 14 and 13 year olds home alone by themselves for several hours. If the younger ones are with them, I am usually gone no more than 2 hours. That said, I have left my 10 and 7 year olds at home alone for 10 min or so while I run a quick errand, but not longer than that.

[Emilylou]

I believe this is the law in NY too...

 

In my state, 12 is the legal minimum age that a child can be left alone.

[beezus]

I think 10ish is probably okay for a short while, as long as you and the kids feel comfortable about it. My mom was volunteering me for neighborhood babysitting jobs when I was 10, and one of the families I did babysitting for back then had five kids. I didn't really like it, and I'd never volunteer my kid for that, but I managed okay. A short time at that age is probably fine - as long as your state law doesn't say a different age, as someone else mentioned. Just make sure you outline the plan of where they are supposed to be, what they can and can't do, and what the plan is if they get scared or worried.

[AngieW in Texas]

My oldest wasn't at home alone until 11yo and even then it was only for about 30 minutes 1x/week. She was going to ps that year and my youngest had vision therapy on the other side of town. My dd usually got off the bus (two doors down from our house) about 30 minutes before we got home from VT on Wednesdays. That was the only time she was home alone until 12yo. I didn't leave her at home with her sisters until 13yo.

 

My two younger girls have always been much more responsible and mature than my oldest. I left the two younger girls at home with each other at 9.5yo and 6.5yo. My oldest dd's play rehearsals were after school and I had to go pick her up. At first they came with me, but then I started leaving them at home. It took about 30 minutes to do the round trip to pick up my oldest. I wouldn't have left them at home if we'd lived in our old neighborhood, but in this neighborhood, they had neighbors who were at home who we knew very well, so it wasn't a problem.

 

My two younger girls were left at home by themselves (or with another sibling) at 10yo for up to an hour without any problems at all. By 11yo, they were home alone (or with another sibling) for up to 2-3 hours.

 

I couldn't possibly have trusted my oldest at home by herself for more than 30 minutes at 11yo, but my two younger girls have always been very responsible.

[Paintedlady]

Mine are 9 & 10 and I've only just begun to leave them for a minute or two to run down the street. Probably 10 max at this point and I'll build from here. It's nerve wracking! :scared:

[Ginevra]

I chose 12+. I may have left dd at home alone for ten minutes or less a few times when she was 11, but it was only under a circumstance of my knowledge that dh was on his way home and I needed to leave for something. I let her stay at home with her brother (2.5 years younger) for short periods, maybe 30 minutes or less, when she was 12.5. Now that she is 13, she sometimes babysits for a few hours, both younger children.

 

I don't really go strictly by age, however. There are some children I would still not consider able to take on this responsibility in their teens. Also, sometimes kid-to-kid dynamics in a family are too strife-filled for it to be a good set-up.

[Noble_Grace]

Ok many states do have laws, here is a link that has info,

 

http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

 

My oldest are 21 AND 19. When they were 7 and 9 I would leave them for about 45 minutes to 1 hour, but they were well trained on what to do in case of any event and we had a list: "Rules of the house while home alone":

We had practiced all types of fire drills. Fire in the kitchen, fire in the living room, fire in the bedrooms,smell smoke, test the doorhandles, stop, drop and roll if you catch on fire, etc.

 

My stay home alone rules included:

what to do if the phone rings,

what to do if someones' at the door,

no cooking on the stove, you can warm something in the microwave, (but they had rules for how to use the microwave -no plastic, no foil, no metal)

you do not go outside under any circumstances except for fire and then we had emergency neighbor plans. Four of our neighbors were almost always home and I had prearranged for someone to be available just in case.

 

Then I would have a specific list of the things they could do while I was gone.

This included special things that they were not allowed to do on a regular basis. For example we did not have cable t-v, but we did have a box of videos in my closet that I would bring out. I would also bring out their gameboys, we had 2 handhelds that they only got on weekends, cartrips or airplane trips. And they had to earn them for the weekends, or they didn't see their gameboy for two weeks, so they did enjoy being responsible home alone.

 

Also I would take into consideration their behavior for the day, before I would consider leaving them for an hour alone.

 

Also the climate of our city was fairly safe. I could let them ride around the neighborhood or to a friends house to play. We had our camping walkie talkies they would take with them. That way I knew they were safe and we made a code so they could tell me where they were. Initially, for about three months, I would jump in my vehicle and see if they really were where they said they were. Lying was never tolerated in our house.

 

Now that I am older and wiser, and the climate of our city is nowhere as safe as it used to be, We do not ever let the younger three ages 10, 8, and 3 alone ever. But they are other considerations. The oldest is immature, the 8yo is sneaky and the 3yo has CP from a mild stroke in utero. I haven't even begun to consider to train them in staying home alone, but maybe, after remembering what I did with our oldest two, maybe, I will begin.

[lionfamily1999]

When did you start leaving your children at home during the day for an hour or so? When would you leave just the oldest at home alone? When do you consider them old enough to supervise younger siblings during the day? I'm not there yet. I'm just curious when others' feel it's appropriate to leave dc at home.

Three states have ages set by law: Illinois (14), Maryland (8) and Oregon (10).

 

Another 10 states have "guidelines" or recommendations: Colorado, Delaware, Kansas, Wisconsin and Wyoming (12), Nebraska (11), Tennessee and Washington (10), North Dakota (9), and South Carolina (8).

 

Alaska, California, Rhode Island, Vermont and West Virginia are listed as "unknown." I guess that means Latchkey Kids can't find any state laws, but can't say there aren't any.

 

The rest have no law or guidelines (according to the Latchkey Kids Web Site posted earlier).

 

Just for anyone that was wondering ;)

[2squared]

I leave my 8yo home alone for short periods, and the 6yo & 8yo together for short periods.

 

Tomorrow afternoon they are also playing in a park without me while I attend a meeting across the street.

[2squared]

A 7 y.o. can handle an hour or so during the day.

A 9 y.o. can handle an entire morning or afternoon.

A 11 y.o. can handle an entire day (without night, day only).

A 13 y.o. can handle an entire day with night.

A 15 y.o. can handle an entire weekend / a couple of days.

A 17 y.o. can handle an entire week.

 

We're at 12-13 stage right now, but that's a general plan, and pretty much how I was raised. :)

 

That's pretty much how I was raised too, and it seems about right for my kids at this point.

[patchfire]

We're going to move (hopefully into an actual neighborhood, and definitely into a house where you can't tell so much of what's going on just passing by) around the time of dd's 10th birthday. We're planning to let her start staying by herself for short periods of time, gradually increasing, at that point. I'll have to evaluate her younger siblings' personalities and likelihood of obeying her around the time dd turns 12, and decide then. I really *want* her to be able to stay at home with at least one sibling at that point, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, as they say. I suspect ds & dd2 will be left at home earlier than 10, simply because I would be comfortable with it already for the oldest IF the house/street were configured differently.

[nukeswife]

My oldest starting stay with our younger two when he was about 10.5 and that was for about and hour or so. Now he's 11 and will stay with my 8.5 and almost 5 year old for up to 4 hours without any problems. They have special rules when I'm gone and I've never come home to a problem. I also don't leave them after dark, only during the day. Usually they just plunk down with a stack of DVD's and a bunch of snacks since it's the one time they get full control of the big screen TV. My oldest is very responsible and helps me a lot in just day to day care of his siblings because he likes to do it.

 

I know things are different now, but growing up when I was 8 I was responsible for getting myself and 5 year old brother up for school, getting us breakfast and walking him to and from school. My mom worked at the PO and started at 4:30 am. My dad worked 3rd shift and was usually getting home just before we left at 8:00 am to walk to school.

[abbeyej]

Our state guidelines are 9yo (up to 2 hours alone) and 12yo (with younger siblings or longer periods of time). I have pretty responsible kids, and this seems reasonable in our family.

[rwjx2khsmj]

Age ten for very limited times, an hour or less and only during daylight hours.

[Laurie4b]

Age 9 for three of my four; age 11 for the other one who was less mature. I wanted them to have independence and did it on purpose not for my convenience, as it was sometimes inconvenient to take the others in order to leave x child home alone. Mine are close in age, so when the next one turned 9, I'd leave the two of them home alone together but not the younger two. I don't think I allowed any "babysitting" of a sib not old enough to be home alone until oldest was 13. (Youngest would have been 7 at that point.)

 

My backdoor neighbor was the supervisor of CPS for a long time. She left hers home at age 9 so I knew I wasn't going to be getting in any CPS trouble (which is a different thing from whether I thought it was a good idea: I did. )

[Parrothead]

At 9 I left dd home for very short periods of time to run to the store. The store was across the street then through the neighbor's yard. I didn't see much difference in that than walking over to talk to the neighbor in her back yard.

 

Then we moved. She (now 10) was willing to stay home this evening for me to run to get supplies for milkshakes. I would have had to go 3 blocks to the store and could have been gone as long as 20 minutes.

 

I hope she is babysitting by 12/13. She will be alone for several hours by then.

 

I think by 16 she could be home alone over night if she was comfortable with it.

[Renee in NC]

That's pretty much how I was raised too, and it seems about right for my kids at this point.

 

That's how I was raised as well. I could never leave my 7 and 9yo boys home, though. Heck, I can hardly let them out of my sight at times.:tongue_smilie: My current 12yo could have stayed home alone at those ages, but he has impulse control!:D

[Peela]

Younger than most here, but I have two kids close in age and they were always left together.

I believe it was younger than 8.

My oldest is very mature. My younger was not so mature, but was not the sort of kid who would do anything silly either.

By about 6 and 7 dh and I would go and do the shopping, no worries. Before that, we would take a walk from the house together.

We would use the TV (video player) as a babysitter in such situations, and we would make them a treat, so they loved it.

 

I think you have to know your own kids though. We have lived in pretty safe areas as well.

I also think if you are frightened, especially if you put that fear into the kids, things are more likely to go wrong.

Also, stay in tune with your intuition, your gut feelings.

[Truscifi]

For a responsible child, 7, but only during the day and not more than a couple of hours. I was left home alone younger than this, but my mother was a single parent who worked.

[Audrey]

When did you start leaving your children at home during the day for an hour or so? When would you leave just the oldest at home alone? When do you consider them old enough to supervise younger siblings during the day? I'm not there yet. I'm just curious when others' feel it's appropriate to leave dc at home.

 

 

There is a law here stating that you cannot leave children under 12 unattended. So, that is where I would start thinking about leaving ds home alone. However, I think it will depend on his maturity and ability to be responsible for himself. There are some 16 year olds whom I wouldn't leave unattended. ;)

[Word Nerd]

My first thought when I read the question was 12. We aren't there yet, though.

[TKDmom]

Ok many states do have laws, here is a link that has info,

 

http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm

 

Thanks for the link! My state does not have any laws. A friend of mine said she was told children over the age of 6 could be left at home alone during the day. I would be very uncomfortable leaving a 6yo.

 

A 7 y.o. can handle an hour or so during the day.

A 9 y.o. can handle an entire morning or afternoon.

A 11 y.o. can handle an entire day (without night, day only).

A 13 y.o. can handle an entire day with night.

A 15 y.o. can handle an entire weekend / a couple of days.

A 17 y.o. can handle an entire week.

 

We're at 12-13 stage right now, but that's a general plan, and pretty much how I was raised. :)

 

This is how I was raised, too. But I am an only child, and I lived in a safer environment than we do now. DH seems to think I should be able to leave my older kids at home while I run to the store. :confused: There is no way I'd be comfortable with that. I could see leaving my 8 yo, but that is still somewhat nerve-wracking for me, so I don't.

 

I am actually surprised at the number of people who wait until 12 to leave their children for short periods. But I guess I shouldn't be. I had been thinking I'd be okay with leaving my oldest 2 by the time they are 8 and 10. But I'll probably change my mind when we get there. It's so hard to let them grow up!

[gaillardia]

There is a law here stating that you cannot leave children under 12 unattended. So, that is where I would start thinking about leaving ds home alone. However, I think it will depend on his maturity and ability to be responsible for himself. There are some 16 year olds whom I wouldn't leave unattended. ;)

:iagree:

[IsabelC]

My eldest is just 7 and I'm not yet comfortable about leaving him. I have left him (just for 10 minutes) but I'm not comfortable about it. Probably in a year or two he'd be OK, but I still wouldn't leave him responsible for his younger siblings.

[Renee in NC]

Thanks for the link! My state does not have any laws. A friend of mine said she was told children over the age of 6 could be left at home alone during the day. I would be very uncomfortable leaving a 6yo.

 

 

 

This is how I was raised, too. But I am an only child, and I lived in a safer environment than we do now. DH seems to think I should be able to leave my older kids at home while I run to the store. :confused: There is no way I'd be comfortable with that. I could see leaving my 8 yo, but that is still somewhat nerve-wracking for me, so I don't.

 

I am actually surprised at the number of people who wait until 12 to leave their children for short periods. But I guess I shouldn't be. I had been thinking I'd be okay with leaving my oldest 2 by the time they are 8 and 10. But I'll probably change my mind when we get there. It's so hard to let them grow up!

 

I said 12 because I have a 12yo right now that I have no problem leaving alone. However, I think things would be different if I only had one or two. I think leaving my 9 and 12yo boys home, for example, wouldn't make my life easier - it would be harder! (Besides the fact that my 9yo cannot stay home with him.)

[sagira]

I voted 12 and older, but it depends on the child. I couldn't be left alone at 12. Too immature, not skilled to cope with emergencies/incidentals. At 13 or 14 either. Maaaaaaybe 16. At 15 my parents left me alone for the first time in a hotel room for 30 minutes and I gawked at inappropriate channels. At 17 they left me for the first time at home for 2 hours and I racked up a big phone bill. Depends.

[kewb]

When my oldest was 10 I started leaving him home alone if I was taking a quick local trip-i.e.: the bank or picking up something at the market. When he was 11 I started leaving him and his 9 year old sister alone for those same short trips. Now that he is 12 I will leave them both home alone a for 2 -3 hours during the day if I am local. Dh and I have left them home alone for about 2 hours in the early evening for local meetings.

 

I was petrified the first few times I left them alone. I will admit since getiing our large and scary looking dog it is easier to leave them home alone.

[Laura Corin]

But Hobbes isn't ready yet at ten - he's too unpredictable and easily distracted.

 

We started leaving the two boys home alone together a few months ago, when Calvin was thirteen and Hobbes nine.

 

Laura

[fivetails]

There is a law here stating that you cannot leave children under 12 unattended. So, that is where I would start thinking about leaving ds home alone. However, I think it will depend on his maturity and ability to be responsible for himself. There are some 16 year olds whom I wouldn't leave unattended. ;)

 

I think you're one of the few provinces that actually set a specific age...

 

PEI doesn't have an age - a single mom friend of mine checked into it with Child Services when her daughter was 10 because she (daughter) was going to be coming home from school to an empty house for an hour due to the mom's working schedule (I actually offered to babysit, but the daughter wanted to come home herself and the mom was fine with it) and was told that it was fine, as long as her daughter knew what to do, had emergency contact people, etc etc....

 

Alberta also doesn't have any age ~ they seem to suggest 12, but there's no law. It's not an issue for us, as one of ours is a teenager and the other will never stay anywhere alone, regardless of age, but I looked it up out of curiosity.

[LuvToRead]

I voted 10, but honestly, my oldest is 8, so I may reconsider in a couple of years. The law in IL is 14, which seems a bit old to me.

[Rhonda in TX]

When kids were 11 and 12, I started leaving them home for 15-20 minutes while I would run a quick errand. Now that they are 12 and 13, I will leave them for 30-45 minutes. We don't leave them alone at night yet.

[fivetails]

The law in IL is 14, which seems a bit old to me.

 

A bit? :tongue_smilie:

 

I'd heard this before and everyone was talking about how crazy it was...I wonder why nobody has set out to change that?

 

Teenagers here often have jobs in stores/fast food/etc at 13, can get their beginners license at 14... then you look at a place like Illinois that would say they can't even stay home while Mum runs to the grocery store.

[Carrie12345]

My oldest has Asperger's, so my perception could be skewed.

 

I've been leaving him home while running to the corner store since he was about 9 or 10 (15-20 minutes). I just left him while grocery shopping (nearly 2 hours) for the first time about a month ago. He'll be 12 in August.

 

He is not really ready to be left with younger siblings. I did leave my 8yo with him for 15 minutes a few weeks ago, but only b/c she was driving me nuts. :tongue_smilie:

 

I'm not sure if I'll ever (slight hyperbole) leave my girls home together. They're too much like me and my sisters, and that never went well!