Denisemomof4 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 (edited) I don't know about all of you, but I have been devastated all day today thinking about Kari. I'm sure she's touched more than one of us in many ways, but for me, she wrote the sweetest response when I was distraught over my son joining the reserves. It's all up in the air BTW, but her response was SO sweet and I'm sure she's helped and touched many more of us. Her sharing (and others) comforted me in my time of need. I also am so thankful to her son, and all others, who fight for our country and do all they can to keep us safe. I want to do something for Kari's family from her WTM friends. MamaT has offered to help in any way she can, and she's two hours away from her. I've been going back and forth on this all day. I don't know WHAT to do and I'm looking for ideas. Anytime I need answers, this is one of the places I *ALWAYS* turn to, so please, let's get some ideas together. Edited May 18, 2010 by Denisemomof4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 We could set up a fund to buy flowers, a headstone or make a donation in his memory. When a regular poster lost a child on the FIAR forums, one member who knew her IRL collected funds via paypal and bought the headstone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I've been praying for them all day. I was wondering if there wasn't something we all couldn't do. I'd be happy to donate to whatever everyone found appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I've been wondering the same thing -- what can be done as a group for Kari. She and her family have been on my heart all day. The suggestion made thus far for contributions via paypal for perhaps a headstone is an excellent one. I'll keep watching and see what is decided. Thanks for thinking of this.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted May 18, 2010 Author Share Posted May 18, 2010 Since he's going to have a military funeral, do you think he will be buried in a military cemetery with a name plate and a cross? If not, think a headstone of their choice from all of us would be beautiful. We could all send cards to an address which will be approved later. Keep the ideas coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 :001_unsure: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Her family has been on my mind all day, too. I feel like I've *known* her and followed her son's journey for years. :( How about just a general fund to use as her family sees fit? They may need help with housing/feeding family who come in for the funeral. There may be other expenses the military doesn't cover. I don't know....just throwing ideas up..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brigitte Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I've been praying for them all day. I was wondering if there wasn't something we all couldn't do. I'd be happy to donate to whatever everyone found appropriate. Me, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I'm glad to see this post. Thank you, Denise. Kari has been on my heart today as well. I'm in for whatever we decide to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkInTheBlue Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I don't know what is best to do since I have never been in that situation, but count me in for donating to whatever is decided. I have thought about her and her family all day also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Having 2 boys of my own, although they are younger than her son, I cannot imagine her pain and she's been on my heart all day. I'm in for whatever too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amydavis Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I'd like to help. I cannot imagine her pain. I'm curious to see what ideas are generated. Can someone do a poll? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 How about donations so that someone near her can purchase some kind of premade freezer meals from a meal preparation business, like Dinners Ready or whatever they have where she is? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted May 18, 2010 Author Share Posted May 18, 2010 (edited) keep the ideas coming! Edited May 18, 2010 by Denisemomof4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyndie Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I don't know where in SC Kari is located but I am near Charleston if I can help in some way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 How about donations so that someone near her can purchase some kind of premade freezer meals from a meal preparation business, like Dinners Ready or whatever they have where she is? That would be a good idea for when she gets home. She lives in SC and the funeral is being held in FL. I don't know how long she will be there. I think if we can find out where the service is being held (probably will not be in the paper until tomorrow), a beautiful spray from her WTM family would be nice. I'm sure there would be enough from all of us to do something else as well. Maybe we could just give her the rest to use for whatever she needs??? I'm like the rest of you, just feeling the need to do SOMETHING. I have been praying for her and her family all day. I can't even imagine the nightmare she is going through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I don't know how to even go about this, but what about a tree planted in a park in his memory? Maybe a small, appropriate plaque with his name or something at the base of the tree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 What about just donations so the family can decide what they want to do with it? If they need food, they can get it. If they want to plant a tree, they can. etc I don't know. I'm just so upset by this and desperately want to do something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 What about just donations so the family can decide what they want to do with it? If they need food, they can get it. If they want to plant a tree, they can. etc I don't know. I'm just so upset by this and desperately want to do something. I agree with Jennifer to collect money for any use the family needs. I think it would be the most useful to them to not have any restrictions. It is just awful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 What about just donations so the family can decide what they want to do with it? If they need food, they can get it. If they want to plant a tree, they can. etc I don't know. I'm just so upset by this and desperately want to do something. I think that Jennifer's idea is a good one and covers many bases. Families run through money at an unbelievable rate when a family member dies -- I think that this might be the best way to help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I think that Jennifer's idea is a good one and covers many bases. Families run through money at an unbelievable rate when a family member dies -- I think that this might be the best way to help. I'd be happy to contribute to this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dana Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 After a friend's death, her family set up a scholarship in her name at the college she attended. A scholarship at a school or at a program (provide funding at a special summer camp, boy scouts program, someplace else that was meaningful to them...). Donations could be made in Timothy's name to an organization that was special to him or to his family. Money can be given directly to the family (travel expenses, anything they find helpful). Those are the ideas I have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 (edited) We could do 2 things like a tree and a gift of money the family can use however they need. Edited May 18, 2010 by unsinkable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 My thoughts and tears have been with her all day. We actually called off school and did some reading and playing instead, sharing lots of hugs. Math can wait. I agree a general fund might be the way to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted May 18, 2010 Author Share Posted May 18, 2010 (edited) It sounds like people are leaning toward a collection for Kari to do as her family chooses. I'm going to check back through out the day tomorrow to see what everyone's response it. It's not my decision, it's OURS, collectively, as her WTM family. Edited May 18, 2010 by Denisemomof4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Does anyone know her IRL? This kind of undertaking does best with one person as the point of contact. If not IRL, anyone close email pals? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted May 18, 2010 Author Share Posted May 18, 2010 Does anyone know her IRL? This kind of undertaking does best with one person as the point of contact. If not IRL, anyone close email pals? yes, I have someone I've spoken to about this. She's a couple of hours away. There's another pp who offered to help, too, but my first choice is her friend she's spoken too off the WTM boards before. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 When someone figures out for sure what we're doing, let me know. I'm in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 (edited) I emailed her earlier today to see if I could be a condolences contact -- like maybe collect cards and things and mail to her in case she wasn't comfortable giving out her address to such a large group of people. I was also thinking of googling restaurants (maybe carry-out) in her area thinking it would be great for people to buy gift cards so that she could pick up food without worrying about making dinner or perhaps a service that she could use. I too have been thinking. Perhaps monetary donations would be best. I would imagine that I would not want to cook as much, the travel to Florida would cost money, I might hire someone to take care of something for a while. Edited May 18, 2010 by nestof3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I don't know how to even go about this, but what about a tree planted in a park in his memory? Maybe a small, appropriate plaque with his name or something at the base of the tree. This is similar to what I PMd Denise as an idea. I had wondered whether, if their family were Christian, about a memorial plaque to hang in the church community hall. Later I thought of (but did not post or mail) a garden plaque. I don't incline toward selecting a grave marker, only toward funds to permit the family to do so. but that probably is what people mean when they write about this idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 What about just donations so the family can decide what they want to do with it? If they need food, they can get it. If they want to plant a tree, they can. etc I don't know. I'm just so upset by this and desperately want to do something. I think this would be the most helpful to her family right now. Please let me know when we have a person to paypal money too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 This is just awful, what's happened. Someone might want to PM the moderator to ask how to handle this, too -- I know threads about doing collections have been removed before, haven't they? Maybe there's an official/better way to do it? Not sure -- just don't want to see the wonderful generosity removed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindyg Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 When my dad passed away, the veteran's association provided a headstone. I assume that's typical, and so one would be provided for Kari's son. I love the idea of the pre-made meals. I wish my mom had a freezer full of them. There's something about grief that makes it difficult to even contemplate how to make a meal come together. Also, when my dad died, my mom asked for donations to be sent in his name to a Christian camp that meant a lot to him; and, that, in turn, meant so much to my mom. The camp sent my mom a list of everyone who donated in my dad's name, and she treasured that. If Kari's family has a favorite charity, it would be a very safe way for all of us to make a donation -- directly to the charity in her son's name. It would eliminate the need to collect and delivery money (always difficult among virtual friends) or to buy anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 She's been on my heart all day too. I'm in with whatever is decided. Like someone just said, the more practical things like meals are almost impossible with virtual friends, but a nice donation would sure mean a lot. My MIL has had many, many expenses that were not necessarily anticipated after the recent passing of my FIL. I continue to pray for her family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Whatever the Hive decides on, count me in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Whatever the Hive decides on, count me in. Me, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debbi in Texas Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 You can count on my support for whatever decision is made. Debbi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I'm in as well. Let's see what her friend says. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emeraldjoy Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I'm in. ....could not even begin to imagine the pain. I was thinking of flowers or a plant (perhaps ones she can plant in her yard) as a personal gift with the remainder for her to do whatever she needs to with it. Emerald Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elw_miller Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I'd like to help, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenschooler Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Is this Kari in SC who used to be in FL? Her oldest son? I am so sorry. Please let me know what's decided. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeidiKC Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 A friend of mine lost a baby at birth a year ago and we donated money to have a tree planted in their favorite park. Then at the one year anniversary they had a get-together in the park when they had the plaque underneath it for everyone to see and it was really nice - the tree, the plaque, the friends and family gathering. I think we got a gift certificate to a nursery. One idea might be to give her the money outright saying that we thought a tree might be a wonderful memorial to her son, but to spend the money in whatever way her family would find most helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wy_kid_wrangler04 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I would like to help w/ whatever is decided also. I just can not imagine. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 It sounds like people are leaning toward a collection for Kari to do as her family chooses. I'm going to check back through out the day tomorrow to see what everyone's response it. It's not my decision, it's OURS, collectively, as her WTM family. I think that's the best idea. The military won't be paying for them to go to Florida. That's a huge expense right there and who knows what else will come up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5KidzRUs Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Can we make a memory quilt? We can print pictures of her family on some of the squares ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senorita Tuna Fish Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 Let me know where when and how!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5KidzRUs Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 My dh and ds are both military - I don't know if you all know this but the military provides life insurance for all soldiers - I think it starts at $400K. I do not want to be tackless to bring this up - I want to let those of you who are not military know so that you know that the soldiers families do not have this monetary stress so much. I will contribute too, to whatever is decided. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I'd like to help too. I can not imagine what she is going through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brinkseven Posted May 18, 2010 Share Posted May 18, 2010 I would like to help as well. My heart aches for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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