WishboneDawn Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Three weeks ago my brother died. It was a work-related car accident where he suffered a blow to the head that left him brain dead. I just got back Monday from helping my SIL pack up so she and their 18 month old daughter could live with her parents for a it so I'm just starting to deal with this but one thing that brought me comfort almost immediately was the knowledge that Lauchie's death would be able to bring hope and health through organ donation to other people. I can't express just how much of a relief it was to know that some of him would live on in others. 6 people benefitted in the end. Someone has his eyes. Someone has his heart. Lauchie's habit of helping those in need has outlived him and become his legacy. I think my point is to encourage people to talk about this with loved ones and make sure they know your intentions regarding organ donation. It will make the inevitable questions from ER doctors in the middle of a tragedy easier (everyone knew my brother's wishes so it gave us time to comfort each other and say goodbye to him rather then argue or agonize about the issue) and may be one more way to help make some sense of a senseless situation and to find some comfort in a loved one's death. I wish, wish, wish he wan't dead. But organ donation has been a help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I'm so sorry for your loss, and so glad you're able to take comfort from his most generous, most perfect gift. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 :grouphug: I got teary eyed thinking of it all. I'm so sorry for your loss. But what a wonderful blessing for those other people who are able to live on in ways they couldn't have without your brother's thoughtfulness. My DH and I are both organ donors. My dd17 is turning 18 in a couple of months. I'll have to talk with her about it because I don't know if I ever have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cillakat Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 T 6 people benefitted in the end. Someone has his eyes. Someone has his heart. Lauchie's habit of helping those in need has outlived him and become his legacy. to him rather then argue or agonize about the issue) and may be one more way to help make some sense of a senseless situation and to find some comfort in a loved one's death. I wish, wish, wish he wan't dead. But organ donation has been a help. Thank you so much for taking the time to bring this up during this hard hard time for your family. I'm such a strong believer in organ donation and am newly determined to make sure that all of my family knows my feelings about it. Thank you......may you and your family continue to be comforted knowing that his tradgedy has improved and even saved (someone has his heart!) the lives of others. Best, Katherine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikeBookBread Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Thank you for sharing this story! It is a true tragedy, but six people have a received a priceless gift. I've been a donor since I was of age and my dh knows, too. You're not a donor until you TELL the person who would make the hard decisions that you are a donor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BridgeTea Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I am sorry for your pain and loss. Your brother (and his family) have given most generously. You can be proud! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I'm in tears here just thinking about your loss. I can't even begin to imagine. :grouphug: My cousin benefitted from an organ donor almost 9 years ago. He received a heart. As happy as we were that he finally got a heart, we will always remember the tragedy that preceded his transplant - an 18 year old died. Thank you to your brother and for your message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leighton Academy Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 So sorry for your loss. Thanks for reminding me about how important organ donation is. I definitely need to remind hubby about my feelings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 We've always said we wanted to be organ donors if it ever came to that. It's a conversation we've had with both family and friends. One thing we also really stressed with them was if anything happened to our son, we wanted to be sure they all knew we wanted the same for him. While I can't imagine anything happening to him, I also can't imagine being in a position where he was so ill he needed a transplant and not being able to get one. That was why we decided we wanted him to be an organ donor too if it ever came to that. If I'm going to lose my baby, **** it something good better come from it! So yes I stress talking about organ donation to/as a family. But I also stress don't just think of it as an adult thing. Unfortunately accidents happen to every age group. Kelly And my father, even with a number of health problems, was still able to donate his eyes after his death. And yes, it did make some of a difference in the end for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I'm so sorry about your brother. My husband and I are both donors, and both kids have decided they want to be, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in the Kootenays Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Thanks for posting this. My family has had this conversation before but it doesn't hurt to repeat it. And I'm sorry for your loss. But the gift of life he passed on is priceless. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I'm so sorry for your loss, Dawn. Thanks for posting about organ donation; it's an important topic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I am SO sorry for your loss -- and thank you so much for reminding us all how important organ donation is. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I'm so sorry for your loss. My nephew is alive because of an organ donor. His heart started to give out when he was in his 20's and he would have died if he had not had a transplant. Our family is very grateful for the family who thought of others in the midst of great pain and loss. P.S. - If you are an organ donor (as I am) make sure that your family knows your wishes and will carry them out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I am so sorry for your loss. DH and I are both registered to be organ donors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Oh I am so terribly sorry that you lost your brother. I will have you and yours in my thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Adding my sympathies. Thank you for the reminder. I have been on the registry for years. I checked the box for organ donation when I got my driver license so it's on there, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 :grouphug: My deepest condolences to you and your family. My dad's cousin (who is like a sister to him) was widowed at a relatively young age because her husband did not get a heart transplant in time. I was a teen at the time and even though I wasn't old enough legally to go on the registry I made sure my parents knew that was my desire. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I'm so sorry for your loss. Your message is so important. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, Dawn, but I'm glad it's comforting you to know that, in death, he was able to improve or save the lives of others. Organ donation is such a wonderful thing. I wish my SIL and her kids had donated my brother's organs when he passed away. He was perfectly healthy until he suffered a cerebral hemorrhage, and his organs could have helped so many other people in need. The worst thing about it is that my SIL's sister's life was lengthened by a liver transplant, so it's not like there was no personal experience with organ donation. I honestly don't know if my brother ever thought about donating his organs -- perhaps he was against it, but more likely he thought he was invincible and that he would live to be so old that no one would want any of his body parts! Again, I'm so sorry about your brother. My brother died 5 years ago, and I still think of him every single day. (And I have to admit that I didn't think of him anywhere near that often while he was alive. :( ) Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I'm so, so sorry for your loss of Lauchie. I know it is a shock. My brother in law was killed in a car accident (work related) about four years ago now. My sister found a lot of help with this forum--it's for young widows (or widowers) and I think it was most helpful to be able to communicate with others who really knew the pain of losing a spouse way too soon. http://www.youngwidow.org/ My sister was able to donate Tom's organs as well and it does help. Time helps the most. All my love to you and your family (sincerely). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newlifemom Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I'm am so sorry for your loss, and am keenly aware of how organ donation can bring about a measure of peace after such a tragedy. I too am comforted in my brother's passing some 20 years ago by thinking of all the people who can now see b/c of him. Many hugs to you and your family. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted March 20, 2010 Author Share Posted March 20, 2010 Thank you for that forum sbgrace! I'll pass that on to my sil. She's amazed me with her strength through this but I know it's an absolute horror for her. She's been very clear that she'll need support from people who've been through this so she'll welcome this. Thanks to everyone else as well for your kind words. Organ donation wasn't the only good to come out of this. We grew extremely close to extended family some of us hadn't seen in 25 years as well as my sil's wonderful parents. We've got a new resolve to keep in contact and strengthen those ties and also to live a little more like Lauchie who had a tremendously full life because he didn't live in fear of risks. It hurts like crazy of course but Lauchie left us with a lot of gifts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 Oh Dawn, I am so sorry about your brother's death! Did he live around here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I'm so sorry for your loss. Thanks for the reminder to talk to family members about organ donation and the good it can do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I am soooo very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain that your family and friends are going through. Can I ask a question? Do you know, is it good enough to have 'organ donor' on your licence? Does that give permission legally for them to use them? I have told dh that I want them to use any and every part of me possible and I would like to do what I can to make sure that happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I am soooo very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain that your family and friends are going through. Can I ask a question? Do you know, is it good enough to have 'organ donor' on your licence? Does that give permission legally for them to use them? I have told dh that I want them to use any and every part of me possible and I would like to do what I can to make sure that happens. http://answers.hrsa.gov/cgi-bin/hrsa.cfg/php/enduser/std_adp.php?p_faqid=337&p_created=1111607051&p_sid=EhHxxlXj&p_accessibility=0&p_redirect=&p_lva=&p_sp=cF9zcmNoPSZwX3NvcnRfYnk9JnBfZ3JpZHNvcnQ9JnBfcm93X2NudD0xNiwxNiZwX3Byb2RzPSZwX2NhdHM9NDEmcF9wdj0mcF9jdj0xLjQxJnBfc2VhcmNoX3R5cGU9YW5zd2Vycy5zZWFyY2hfbmwmcF9wYWdlPTE!&p_li=&p_topview=1 I've heard of cases where the family has declined to sign consent even though the person was clearly a organ donor. Make sure you discuss it with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I'm so very sorry for your loss, and what a beautiful post and a most beautiful gift. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I'm so sorry you've lost your brother. I can't imagine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted March 20, 2010 Share Posted March 20, 2010 I have a dear friend who just this last month received a donor heart and lungs. She probably would have died within 3-6 months if this had not come through for her. Now she will see her grandchildren, God willing. What a gift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 (edited) Sorry for your loss. We are not signed up for various reasons. Edited March 21, 2010 by mommaduck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slartibartfast Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 I am so sorry for your loss. :( I am signed up to be an organ donor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 I'm sorry for your loss. :grouphug: My brother has cystic fibrosis and received a new pair of lungs about 6 years ago. He never thought he'd have children, but he and his wife were able to adopt two beautiful boys from Guatemala b/c his health improved so much--he went from being on oxygen 24hrs a day and weighing about 125 pounds (at 5'11') to being strong and healthy. I know our beliefs are different, so please don't take offense, but I wanted to say also that my dh believes our bodies are very special, and that we still carry some sort of body into the next life--and that we will be recognizable to each other. He believes organ donors' scars may become a badge of honor, of sorts--much like Jesus' scars. We are so grateful for the generousity of the people from whom Ken received his lungs. I'm sure the recipients in your case are incredibly grateful, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Katia Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Oh, Dawn, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine your pain. Thank you for your beautiful post. I read it aloud to my 17yo dd, and it gave us the chance to discuss this issue that we otherwise may not have had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ELaurie Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 and I wish I could do more to express words that would comfort you in your time of sorrow. My father was the recipient of a heart transplant, and we will be eternally grateful for the gift that extended his life for 15 more wonderful years. He was a family practice physician, who also loved working in the ER, so he was not only given the gift of life, but went on to save the lives of many others in the intervening years before he died. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 So sorry for your loss. I do know what you mean about organ donation being a way for loved ones to live on. My sister's fiance died a few weeks ago, and he wanted to have his organs donated. Only his eyes were able to be donated due to medical issues he had, but it is somewhat comforting to know that he is living on in someone. We would love to still have him here though obviously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zootle Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Sorry for your loss. My husband and I are both donors. My oldest has also made that decision, although he is still 17-it is on his driver's license. My middle is about to get his license, so we will be talking about it with him more. It seems like a natural time to start talking about it since it comes up at our BMV-it is listed on the back of the driver's license. Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Can I ask a question? Do you know, is it good enough to have 'organ donor' on your licence? Does that give permission legally for them to use them? I have told dh that I want them to use any and every part of me possible and I would like to do what I can to make sure that happens. The organ donation team (liasons in this case I think of some sort initially) were at the trauma ER when my sister arrived as my brother in law was life flighted several hours drive from their home. The organ donation people were contacted by the hospital because he had organ donation on his driver's license and this was a car accident. However, it was her decision to make. There was no pressure or pushing and in fact right up to the moment of the donation they were clear with her that she could back out of the decision. Based on our experience, I believe this is really up to the family no matter the wishes of the person. So you'd want to make sure that in addition to the driver's license family is clear about your wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted March 21, 2010 Author Share Posted March 21, 2010 Oh Dawn, I am so sorry about your brother's death! Did he live around here? No. He lived in Newmarket, Ontario. But his wife was from Victoria, BC and we think he was slowly moving her east to try and get back to NS. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted March 21, 2010 Author Share Posted March 21, 2010 Sorry for your loss. We are not signed up for various reasons. Fair enough. I think the key is making sure your loved ones know your wishes whether you want to donate or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted March 21, 2010 Author Share Posted March 21, 2010 The organ donation team (liasons in this case I think of some sort initially) were at the trauma ER when my sister arrived as my brother in law was life flighted several hours drive from their home. The organ donation people were contacted by the hospital because he had organ donation on his driver's license and this was a car accident. However, it was her decision to make. There was no pressure or pushing and in fact right up to the moment of the donation they were clear with her that she could back out of the decision. Based on our experience, I believe this is really up to the family no matter the wishes of the person. So you'd want to make sure that in addition to the driver's license family is clear about your wishes. That was another thing that helped us get through. The woman with the Gift of Life program was absolutely wonderful. She sat with us, listened to our stories of Lauchie, laughed and cried with us and was key to making a horrible situation bearable and even memorable. I don't know if she was trained well or if she simply had a natural gift for helping people but I will always be thankful for what she did for us as she helped us through the organ donation process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyFL Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 How terribly tragic. Life is so fragile. And you are much like your brother, coming on here to encourage us in something that will help us when you are hurting. My prayers are with you! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 I am soryy to hear about your brother but glad that there is some good coming out of this tragedy. My dh has a donor card but I don't. I have a systemic autoimmune disease and don't believe that I am a candidate for this. I know I can't donate blood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 21, 2010 Share Posted March 21, 2010 Oh I forgot to add that while I have an organ donor card my dh has expressed an desire that his body be donated to the medical school that he went to. So that's what I'll do if he dies. I have no idea how my ILs would take that, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.