Do you look at people differently

[Liz CA]

once you know their economic status?

I had an interesting discussion with someone who thinks that most people judge others by their professions, degrees or other education.

So, do you look at someone differently after you find out they are in the blue collar category vs. a higher - or highly educated person?

[Rosie_0801]

I think it tends to be obvious from talking to someone how well educated they are. I have more respect for my badly educated friend than my sister in law who has a degree from a prestigious university. The former thinks she's lacking intelligence, which of course she isn't. She was badly educated, that's all. She uses what education she had very effectively. My SIL, well, let us just say that to her, education is about prestige and social networking...

 

Usually I've spoken to someone before I've learned of their qualifications, but yes, of course I make judgments. That's human nature and the way we organise information. That is not a problem, as long as you change your judgments along with new information. Any sensible person has value on both blue and white collar style educations. We might place higher value on one, but both are necessary to us so it's not automatic that we should be snobbish about it. (Though plenty of people are!) I think I would wonder if someone said they didn't expect differences between people with and without tertiary educations. I know I'd appear to a disadvantage if I was to hang about with people with PhDs.

 

Rosie

[FO4UR]

I try not to show favoritism over socio-economic factors.

 

Sometimes I am surprised to find out a persons' background/education based on the first impression, but it doesn't change a persons' worth from my pov.

[Carrie12345]

once you know their economic status?

I had an interesting discussion with someone who thinks that most people judge others by their professions, degrees or other education.

So, do you look at someone differently after you find out they are in the blue collar category vs. a higher - or highly educated person?

 

Occasionally, but I try not to. After all, my husband makes a nice amount of money (minus $18k soon @@), but works in an industry that could potentially have him wading through sewage on any given day, and does not utilize his college degree in any way.

 

The money doesn't make him any "type" of person, the dirty job doesn't make him any "type" of person, and his education doesn't make him any "type" of person. So I know better. But I still forget sometimes. ;)

[hillfarm]

I think that is quite true that people judge based on occupation. I used to have a high profile job as a marine biologist working with dolphins, whales, and manatees and some of the largest marine facilities in the world. I have had total strangers want to take me out to dinner just to hear stories about my work. I got calls on my cell phone from Senators trying to get me to speed up capture permits for their monied constituents. In general, people treated me quite well.

 

Now I am a homeschooling, sheep farming Mom. My education has not been reduced! And yet, no one seems to hang on my every word anymore. No Senators call (other than the recorded "Vote for me!" messages in November). Not only am I no longer sought after, I feel somewhat that I am shunned at various cocktail parties as "only a housewife". I'd like to think that I am still well-spoken and intelligent, but my star is definitely on the wane!

 

IMO, this is rather ironic, since I consider raising and teaching my dd to be a much more important job than the old marine mammal gig. My work now is every bit as complex and challenging as it was before. My learning has increased since then also. I now know more about mammalian animal husbandry. I know about farming and markets. I am continuing to learn about child development and learning/teaching styles. At first I was a little surprised at the change in treatment. Now I let it roll off my back and move on. My to-do list is 10 times longer now and I don't have time to dwell on what others think of me:tongue_smilie:.

[Aggie]

Sure, some people do judge based on occupation and education. I felt an obvious bias toward/against me when dh was in the Navy, based on what people knew or did not know about my education.

 

However, what matters to me is a person's work ethic. It doesn't matter if you're papered, it matters that you are working somewhere, somehow*. I have a dear friend who lives in a $3mill home because her dh has worked his way up the corporate ladder, and another friend just as dear who is a janitor. I don't care whether either one has a degree or not. They are both working hard and have made their own career decisions.

 

(*Exceptions being people who have been let go in these economic times, of course.)

 

jmho ;)

[blessed2fosteradopt]

We try to simply live by the words of George Washington Carver -

 

Don't look up to the rich nor down on the poor.

 

That is a virtue I really want to instill in my children. As a Christian I want them to know that all are created equal and are looked upon and loved the same by our Savior.

[skimerinkydo]

My family is often judged for what neighborhood we chose to live in. Because of where we live we are often thought of as blue collar...and people are often suprised to find out that we are educated.

[Jean in Newcastle]

What is most important to me about a person is their character - and that has no money limitations on it. Now - if I know that a person has blown through all their money because of bad choices on their part and that those bad choices are still part of their thinking, then I would be cautious around that person. If I know that someone has a low-income job because of lack of opportunity for whatever reason but they are doing the best they can under the circumstances and have an honorable character then I would welcome that person's acquaintance. Same if they had gobs of money and no character - I'd stay my distance. And if they had gobs of money and honorable character - I'd be delighted to make their acquaintance. Of course the same holds for anyone in between those extremes. (And yes, I realize that we all have a mixture of good and bad character traits. I'm talking overall character as I might have occasion to know as I start to know someone as more than an acquaintance.)

[kalanamak]

I think it polite to take each individual as they come. If someone has a PhD, I might happily use the word "ennui" in conversation. If a person says things like "I don't got none", I don't look "down" upon them, but I wouldn't use ennui in conversation. I would think that rude and they would think poorly of me. I recall being insulted in high school ("Talk English, will ya!"), and would hate to have people harbor ill feelings toward me as the snob I swear I'm not.

 

As for economics, I am chary of the very rich. It makes a gulf. Since I dress simply, wear no rings etc, no make-up and drive a bottom of the line compact car, I certainly catch people looking down their nose at me. In such cases, I try to be extra pleasant and use words like ennui in my conversation. :D

[MamaSheep]

I have friends in a variety of economic situations and enjoy our associations equally. What I like is people who are real, sincere, have common sense, are reasonably open-minded, have decent personal hygiene, and generally tend to be kind and fun-loving. I've met people like that from many walks of life. I've also met snobs in every economic bracket who think that people in other economic brackets aren't worth the time of day. I have little patience for that regardless of your income or occupation.

 

I have certainly had the experience of being judged by my economic level, occupation, and family background, as well as the high school or college I attended, my religious beliefs, my gender, my race, and the kind of vehicle I drive. It does seem to be fairly common.

Edited February 1, 2010 by MamaSheep

[OnTheBrink]

If someone is doing honest work, I have no reason to look down on them. Not everyone in the world is meant to be a Ph.D earning 7 digit salaries.

[Liz CA]

I think that is quite true that people judge based on occupation. I used to have a high profile job as a marine biologist working with dolphins, whales, and manatees and some of the largest marine facilities in the world. I have had total strangers want to take me out to dinner just to hear stories about my work. I got calls on my cell phone from Senators trying to get me to speed up capture permits for their monied constituents. In general, people treated me quite well.

 

Now I am a homeschooling, sheep farming Mom. My education has not been reduced! And yet, no one seems to hang on my every word anymore. No Senators call (other than the recorded "Vote for me!" messages in November). Not only am I no longer sought after, I feel somewhat that I am shunned at various cocktail parties as "only a housewife". I'd like to think that I am still well-spoken and intelligent, but my star is definitely on the wane!

 

IMO, this is rather ironic, since I consider raising and teaching my dd to be a much more important job than the old marine mammal gig. My work now is every bit as complex and challenging as it was before. My learning has increased since then also. I now know more about mammalian animal husbandry. I know about farming and markets. I am continuing to learn about child development and learning/teaching styles. At first I was a little surprised at the change in treatment. Now I let it roll off my back and move on. My to-do list is 10 times longer now and I don't have time to dwell on what others think of me:tongue_smilie:.

 

This is so true! Once you fade out of the public eye or whatever job situation, some people think you lost your brain with the placenta when you gave birth.

 

I always thought I try to be equally polite, compassionate and friendly with anyone I come across but now I have to really examine my mental thought process when I encounter someone begging on the side of the road versus when an attorney (or other well educated person) walks into this office.

Somewhere, somehow we judge on some level.

 

All this to say, the woman with whom I was having this conversation may have been right after all. :mellow:

[Peela]

Do you look at people differently once you know their economic status?

I had an interesting discussion with someone who thinks that most people judge others by their professions, degrees or other education.

So, do you look at someone differently after you find out they are in the blue collar category vs. a higher - or highly educated person?

 

Sure, I think most people do judge others by their professions, degrees and education. Our society is very status oriented, but I also think that how someone relates and how people relate back to them will be partly determined bt their education and profession. Perhaps they respect themselves a lot because of their profession and so people tend to treat them more respectfully in general. It happens on an unconscious level even if it doesn't happen on a conscious level.

Ultimately, it doesnt matter and most of us would hope we wouldnt change our behaviour, but perhaps more of us do that would like to admit it.

I have a whole mixture of friends, and one is pretty much a street person, yet he is loved by many and respected also. Everyone has an amazing story if you scratch the surface. But I am sure I am unconsciously influenced by status also. I try not to be.

[stripe]

I try not to make assumptions about anyone, be it based on race, nationality, or profession. I have met a lot of people who defied my expectations -- both positively and negatively.

 

Class distinctions are trickier nowadays, so I take "economic status" with a grain of salt, since I know many "upper middle class" people who have $20,000+ in debt, not counting a mortgage, and who just charge everything. I find that a very artificial concept of owning a lot of fancy stuff. I am tired of people with iPhones and a new car begging me for a loan so they can pay the rent. I am not fooled by that sort of "wealth." "Poor" people who own their own homes and buy cheap canned goods and scrimp to make ends meet, have a higher net worth.

[monk17]

People definitely look at you different when you walk in with shorts and a bunch of children during the middle of the day vs an expensive business suite. It's just human nature. I get a kick out of it because I've seen it from a few different angles. Business and class reunions get a double take when I say my full time occupation is homeschooling our daughter.

I spent a career analyzing and reading people, it's hard to turn it off but I try not to let it cloud my judgment. Treat them all like they are very important to you.

[LauraGB]

once you know their economic status?

I had an interesting discussion with someone who thinks that most people judge others by their professions, degrees or other education.

So, do you look at someone differently after you find out they are in the blue collar category vs. a higher - or highly educated person?

 

When I was younger, I think I did. Now that I am older, more experienced, wiser, and have met enough people to know better, I do not. I can honestly say I have no more or less respect for someone whether they are a doctor, lawyer, waitress or a truck driver. I base my opinions soley on personality and integrity.

[Scarlett]

once you know their economic status?

I had an interesting discussion with someone who thinks that most people judge others by their professions, degrees or other education.

So, do you look at someone differently after you find out they are in the blue collar category vs. a higher - or highly educated person?

 

My standard is work ethic. Not profession or income level.

 

If at my age, a family is living in abject poverty, I would be curious (although it is not my business) to know why. Circumstances can lead to abject poverty (and I'm talking about THIS country not 3rd world countries). Generally though, in THIS country, a lifetime of good work ethic and self control leads to stability....not riches, but stability.

 

An interesting story...my now XH works for an um....company where most of the employees are lower paid. He is not lower paid. When we first moved to this neighborhood and he told our neighbors where he worked...they ASSUMED he was a shop manager of some sort. Not that there is anything WRONG with that. (in my best Seinfeld voice) However, their treatment of us changed dramatically when they became aware of his exact position. They are now good friends of MINE. They now have have changed their opinion of XH AGAIN once they figured out that, yes, he makes a lot of money, yes he is a professional, but he is ALSO a liar, cheat and adulterer.

 

Lesson learned...don't judge a book by its cover.

[Liz CA]

When I was younger, I think I did. Now that I am older, more experienced, wiser, and have met enough people to know better, I do not. I can honestly say I have no more or less respect for someone whether they are a doctor, lawyer, waitress or a truck driver. I base my opinions soley on personality and integrity.

 

That is exactly how I would like to be and like to be perceived - and I had thought I was doing pretty well until I had this conversation with this person (both of us are in the same category, our talk was not prompted by hurt feelings of any kind) and I am now re-examining some thoughts.

 

[LauraGB]

That is exactly how I would like to be and like to be perceived - and I had thought I was doing pretty well until I had this conversation with this person (both of us are in the same category, our talk was not prompted by hurt feelings of any kind) and I am now re-examining some thoughts.

 

 

 

The problem with your friend's line of thinking is that perhaps that truck driver would have obtained a phd in say, Art History for instance (or law or marketing or politics or...), but his parents didn't have enough money to send him to school or help him get his student loans, and then life happened and he finally needed to focus on a job that put food on the table for his family, etc. It doesn't take away from the fact that he had an interest in something, and most likely learned (on his own) as much as he could about that subject and everything pertaining to it, while dutifully going on with his life and providing a good place for his family. That wouldn't necessarily be reflected in his work as a truck driver, right? Is it really any different than someone who did spend 6-8 + years in school, is currently working in his field (which, I must say that most of my friends with degrees are NOT working in thier field presently) and makes more money but ultimately knows more or less the same amt as that personally driven individual?

 

I refuse to judge people by thier degree or social status - it reveals very little to me WHO that person is, and really, a job is a job. I refused to be judged by my educational background and anyone who is shallow enough to pass judgement (either for or against) before getting to know me can keep right on moving past and not bother to waste my time with shallowness.

Edited January 30, 2010 by LauraGB

[cathmom]

I've had this reaction about homeschooling - people say, "Oh, it's fine for you to homeschool - you have a master's degree. It's those OTHER people who shouldn't be doing it."

 

Just because I happen to have a master's in German doesn't mean that I homeschool any more effectively than someone with a high school diploma.

[WishboneDawn]

Yes, I do look at people differently because of profession, career, income. I also look at people differently because of gender, colour, nationlity, etc.

 

I have a whole host of stereotypes that pop up when I meet someone new but I work at weeding them out. Generally it's after talking to someone for a little bit that I'm able to view them with some objectivity.

[elegantlion]

People definitely look at you different when you walk in with shorts and a bunch of children during the middle of the day vs an expensive business suite. It's just human nature. I get a kick out of it because I've seen it from a few different angles. Business and class reunions get a double take when I say my full time occupation is homeschooling our daughter.

I spent a career analyzing and reading people, it's hard to turn it off but I try not to let it cloud my judgment. Treat them all like they are very important to you.

 

My husband used to work in sales, suit, tie, dress shoes everyday. Once he went back to carpentry, jeans & tees, he was treated much differently in public. It was a great social experiment.

 

I refuse to judge people by their degree or social status - it reveals very little to me WHO that person is, and really, a job is a job. I refused to be judged by my educational background and anyone who is shallow enough to pass judgment (either for or against) before getting to know me can keep right on moving past and not bother to waste my time with shallowness.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

When we went to childbirth classes eons ago they asked everyone to introduce themselves and say a little bit about themselves. Dh and I noticed everyone said what their job was to define themselves, we were the only ones that didn't.

 

The Millionaire Next Door is a great book to help break economic stereotypes.

[Jeannie in NJ]

I grew up in dirt poor poverty. My mom was born in 1934 to a family of sharecroppers and they picked cotton when she was little. She quit school in 10 grade, married my father, had me and my brother and then my father left her when I was 6 and db was 4 and we never heard from my dad again and mom never received any help from him. She raised us in poverty, she was only able to work as a waitress. At one time, we lived in a boarding house with one bathroom in the hall for everyone (se kept a bucket in our room to use). We were always moving form one low income place to another. One of my mom's piority was every school year, she made sure that I had 5 new dresses so that I didn't have to wear the same dress twice in one week. She kept after me about my education and I was the first one ever in the family to get a college degree.

 

I am married to a college professor )first in his family also to have a college degree) . I am able to feel comfortable with other wives of professors and also with blue-collor wives. One of my best friends is the wife of a professor and other good friiend is a cleaning lady. I have never forgotten where I came from and don't look down on people because of how their life is (only thing I can't stand is people that get into drugs). My brother chose a life of drugs and it became so bad that I had to cut him out of my life as I could not have him anywhere around my dc.

[Sputterduck]

I don't look at people differently based on education or economic status. People seem to assume that everyone does, which is odd to me. I'm not sure why those things matter so much to so many people.

 

I do look at people differently based on the caliber of person they are.

[Parrothead]

My one good friend is a homeschooling SAHM just like me. Her husband makes less than half of what my dh makes a year. They will be coming for dinner tomorrow. We don't look down on them.

 

What I find funny is that quite often pay scale is not equal to education. I know people who make six figures a year but have not completed college.

[Scarlett]

My one good friend is a homeschooling SAHM just like me. Her husband makes less than half of what my dh makes a year. They will be coming for dinner tomorrow. We don't look down on them.

 

What I find funny is that quite often pay scale is not equal to education. I know people who make six figures a year but have not completed college.

 

Nor is pay scale equal to intelligence.

[nono]

I don't know that I really know anyone's true economic status. No one has ever shared their personal balance sheet with me. So, I assume nothing about someone's "means." Because it could all be smoke and mirrors. In either direction.

 

My family is old time rich on one side and old time poor on the other. One group always dressed down to fit in. The other always dressed up. Guess that's how my parents managed to meet. :)

[HerdingCats]

When we downsized a couple of years ago to get ourselves out of debt and get away from the "Joneses", it was surprising to notice just how many real friends we had. In our suburban-american-dream neighborhood, it was very much about what you had. As I suspected, when we moved out many relationships changed or fizzled out. We had one old neighbor "drop-in" right after we moved and invite herself into our still unpacked rental home. It was obvious she was there to size up our situation, and later made a comment, "Don't worry, your property values will go up eventually." All I could say was, "Really, we're just renting and I'm not even worried about that." Needless to say, we are more selective about our friends now. It is easy to see looking back how we were also sucked into that mentality at one time. I learned a lot about how people tend to treat you differently based on your perceived "worth" and how that translates into relationships. I have learned it is really rare to find a real friend. I guess I'm a bit more cynical than I should be, but I really look to connect with only those people who I value and value me as a person.

 

I used to have a high profile job as a marine biologist working with dolphins, whales, and manatees and some of the largest marine facilities in the world. I have had total strangers want to take me out to dinner just to hear stories about my work. I got calls on my cell phone from Senators trying to get me to speed up capture permits for their monied constituents. In general, people treated me quite well.

I couldn't help but think of Seinfeld when I read this!:lol:

[Sputterduck]

I don't know that I really know anyone's true economic status. No one has ever shared their personal balance sheet with me. So, I assume nothing about someone's "means." Because it could all be smoke and mirrors. In either direction.

 

My family is old time rich on one side and old time poor on the other. One group always dressed down to fit in. The other always dressed up. Guess that's how my parents managed to meet. :)

 

Yeah. My uncle who is very wealthy always wears an old white motor oil stained sweatshirt to town. My aunt can't get him to get rid of it. You really can't tell a person's wealth by how they dress.

[TravelingChris]

I talk to all kinds of people. I don't make negative judgements but others do of me and my children. My youngest knew to be quiet when a Sunday School teacher was revealed to be a retired certain rank. THe kids were very impressed. She didn't reveal to them that her dad is that same rank. SHe already had a negative time on a cruise ship when some kid called her a liar because he asked her what her dad did and she answered that he's a physicist in the AF.

 

Other times I have had to endure conversations about nasty ______ people or some such phrasing. I normally move away from those people and stay away from them if I later see them again.

 

In our neighborhood, we are not the wealthiest people by far. In fact, I think we may well be one of the poorer though our house is large. That's because we didn't buy this place, we rented in the real estate downturn. Everyone here has treated me very well and no one has said anything about us being renters or having somewhat less money to us, at least.

[mirth]

I think it tends to be obvious from talking to someone how well educated they are.

 

Yes. I will add though, that it is also obvious if he is interesting, as I don't think education necessarily equals interesting.

 

I know many "upper middle class" people who have $20,000+ in debt, not counting a mortgage, and who just charge everything. I find that a very artificial concept of owning a lot of fancy stuff. I am tired of people with iPhones and a new car begging me for a loan so they can pay the rent. I am not fooled by that sort of "wealth." "Poor" people who own their own homes and buy cheap canned goods and scrimp to make ends meet, have a higher net worth.

 

Yep. A dad writing for the WSJ and debating allowances for his kids lectured them that just because you see a guy with a big house with a new Porsche every year doesn't mean he has a lot of money. It means he spent more money. Besides the book Class, argues that you never actually see the dwellings of the the truly filthy rich and poor. Both are sort of shadow classes.

[EKS]

I don't judge people based on their economic status (at least I don't think I do).

Edited January 31, 2010 by EKS

[kalanamak]

Yes. I will add though, that it is also obvious if he is interesting, as I don't think education necessarily equals interesting.

 

 

 

Or just being wonderful.

 

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/show/111182

 

I remember some generally whiny staff member rattling on about how boring some conversation was, and I, being a bit irritated with listening to complaints, said "Okay, shall we discuss whether Maughm was the greatest short story writer in the English language or a hack who pandered to the masses?" Blank stare. And suddenly, a generally psychotic and uncommunicative patient called out "You're making a joke!" and started to laugh.

Soul mates.

[Scarlett]

Or just being wonderful.

 

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/show/111182

 

I remember some generally whiny staff member rattling on about how boring some conversation was, and I, being a bit irritated with listening to complaints, said "Okay, shall we discuss whether Maughm was the greatest short story writer in the English language or a hack who pandered to the masses?" Blank stare. And suddenly, a generally psychotic and uncommunicative patient called out "You're making a joke!" and started to laugh.

Soul mates.

 

THIS is hilarious. Thank you.

[Tree House Academy]

Um, no. I have friends of all economic backgrounds. I judge them by my compatibility with them and most of the time I don't even know what profession they or their husbands are in. For example, I have a homeschool friend whom I only know from co-op. I like her. She works with one of the teachers in one of the classes my son takes. She is sweet and down to earth and we often talk about the kids, etc. The other day, she casually mentioned that her dh was a doctor. It didn't even blip the radar for me other than to realize that we may need to give him a try as we are looking for a doctor in his particular specialty. :) Otherwise, I didn't look up at her or down at her for having a dh with an MD. I also expect my friends don't look up or down at me for having a dh who is an engineer (other than to understand why he is so darn strange! LOL).

 

So no. My answer is no.

[Impish]

Nope.

 

I've noticed a lot of changes on how I'm treated over the years. When I was thin and a knock out, I could (and did) get away with being a complete b*tch. An out of whack thyroid and many pounds later, and people treated me like I was stupid and/or invisible.

 

Another huge change was the leap from single parent to married. Huge dif in how I was treated.

 

Same as going from a health care professional, homeschooling married mom to a disabled person.

 

People also react to my IQ level when its discovered. Dh brags to his friends and family about it. Some suddenly started treating me like I was worth more as a person, some avoid me now that used to talk to me. The best comment was, "Wow, she's that bright and still married you?!" :lol: Of course my response was, "That's part of what makes me so brilliant!"

 

As I've said to my dh, my IQ means squat...its not like I've done much with it :tongue_smilie: (Other than choose him as a husband, and homeschool of course!)

[eternalknot]

 

So, do you look at someone differently after you find out they are in the blue collar category vs. a higher - or highly educated person?

 

I think it's human nature to see people according to whatever you can quickly assess about them (what do their mannerisms suggest? clothing? car? speech?) but years in the service industry have taught me that ***cliche alert*** you truly can't judge a book by its cover.

 

I do agree, however:

... most people judge others by their professions, degrees or other education.

 

Our social culture, as a rule, seems easily impressed by status -- whether that be the designer handbag she went in debt to buy, the status sedan he can only afford to lease, or the tens of thousands they'll pay in student loans for the next twenty years to fund the string of initials behind their names. I don't even think education plays as large a role as does status (just look at our glorification of celebrities!)

 

My brother earned a joint PhD/MD, but spent a few years working in an unrelated industry to help out our family. A girl he knew thought he was cute, but wouldn't go out with him because he "had no future" (that she could see). A few years after he was no longer needed to help the family, he secured a job more fitful of his training and academics. She was on him like white on rice - suddenly he had "potential" in her eyes. That whole situation made me more aware of these things, I think. I try not to "see" people as billboards of their income and education levels. Not always successful ;) but I strive.

 

I liked the comments about not being able to truly gauge education and income in this day of credit, etc. Very true.

[RoughCollie]

I just treat everyone the same way. No reason not to, lots of reasons it is a good idea.

 

I do get criticized sometimes for liking everyone. Well, that is not true. Sometimes I don't like a person, and twice it has taken me awhile (several years) before I got to know the person well enough to genuinely like her. The critics are usually snobs, though.

 

The way I see it, the vast majority of people have qualities which I can appreciate. They may not be much like me in most visible ways, but that doesn't matter in the context of our relationship.

 

One time when I was in law school, I went to this exclusive shop in my neighborhood with a friend of mine from school. I was wearing jeans and an old, solid color sweatshirt, sneakers, no makeup. I looked like something the cat dragged in. She was wearing a very nice suit, hair done, make-up on, looking terrific like she'd just stepped out of court.

 

We went there so I could look at some dessert plates I thought were beautiful -- they were imported from France, and the set of 6 cost $185! So I make a beeline for the plates, and when I turned around, wherever my friend was going in the store, she was being followed at close range (2' or less) by the sales clerk.

 

I was aghast. Of course I said something to the manager. My friend, who looked like a million bucks, was being followed because of her skin color (Black) and I was left to roam free because I am white. I had to bid my dessert plates adieu because I could not patronize that store again.

 

My friend told me that it was nothing. She experienced this every time she went into a store. She gave me examples of the little, soul-tearing, ways people discriminated against her at every turn. It was awful, still is, I imagine.

 

I know for certain, btw, that I am treated with respect (often instantly) due to my profession, and it is a big difference from how I was treated when I was a secretary. I usually refrain from telling people because it changes how they see me. I mean, I am still the same person.

Edited January 31, 2010 by RoughCollie

[stripe]

I thought of this thread while listening to this interview with Jacqueline Novogratz on "Speaking of Faith" when she discussed how there is often a desire to think that the poor are less intelligent than "we" are, and general efforts to make the poor "the other," and the experience of realizing that this is not the case.

[kmacnchs]

Now - if I know that a person has blown through all their money because of bad choices on their part and that those bad choices are still part of their thinking, then I would be cautious around that person.

 

When I hear people complain (or just comment) about having NO money and yet they go spend their money left and right, I tend to judge...I shouldn't b/c it's NONE of my business what they do with their money but I do:001_huh: