I'd like to start collecting dishes for nieces...

[teachermom2834]

I have toddler nieces and we have a family that has nothing ever to pass down/ inherit/ etc. The women in my family always go into marriage/ adult life with absolutely nothing of value.

 

I've been thinking about something I could collect for my nieces so that they have something when they start out on their own. My thought is that I could start a collection of dinnerware that they could use when they start out or be able to sell if they wish. I would just like to give them the gift of having "something" substantial when they start out.

 

I'm not that familiar with all that is out there. I would be looking for something that has been around a long time and likely not going anywhere because I would be doing this piece by piece for birthdays/ Christmas gifts. I would like something casual because she will be just starting out but I would like it to be of quality and something she could sell if it wasn't her taste. I have Fiesta ware and that seems to fit the description. Mix and match style would probably be best given the scenario. What other lines might I want to look at?

 

I do realize that I always take the risk that something will be discontinued and I'm okay with that. I'd just like to do my best to have something to give them. I will never be able to afford to do it other than a few pieces at a time.

 

Any ideas?

 

Thanks,

Marie

[Ferdie]

That is a great idea.

 

I think Fiestaware would be a great choice. Mikasa also makes casual china that has been around for 10 years. It comes in three patterns: English Countryside, Italian Countryside and French Countryside. It is beautiful, affordable and durable. You can see the different patterns at the department store. I have no idea how much longer they will make it though.

[ConnieB]

This sounds like a loving and generous idea....but the practicality of it has me worried. How do you pick a style of china for someone who is only a toddler right now. I'd find it hard to pick china for anyone else honestly. And even more worrisome is what if the style you pick stops being made...then you either have to scrounge antique stores/auction places and pay huge sums to finish the set...or it's never finished...and even worse, how would your neice replace broken pieces? Or, what if the pieces you buy now get damaged in storage.

 

Perhaps what you could do is put away a certain amount of money....something equal to what you'd pay for a piece/place setting each birthday/holiday/event. Then when you learn that she has become engaged you can invite her to lunch to celebrate and take her to the store to choose her set and be able to but something current.....something she gets to chose and love......and buy it all at once. When she's a teenager and perhaps cares about such things, you can tell her of her impending gift.....so she can have it to look forward to, and start to think about such things (ok, most teens who start dating probably already ARE thinking, but they're thinking practical Corelle or something, not china!).

 

Or perhaps she will grow up to be a very logical very practical type who despite your hopes could care less about china...and instead hope that she could move into her new home with some really cool electronics, a complete kitchen set, or an ultra luxurious bedroom set....and you'd be able to use the money saved for her to make that wish come true (after taking a couple dollars out to buy yourself tissues to cry into!).

 

Or maybe she'll choose not to marry and instead could really use the cash to help her finish medical school so that she can become the leader of the research team that not only cures cancer but the common cold as well! You'd have helped not just her, but mankind!

 

Ok...so I get a little carried away when I think of the possiblities of a toddler and the future, lol. Whatever you choose to do....they are very lucky little girls to have an aunt who loves them so much now that she's looking out for their future before they're even old enough to know what a future is!

[Rosie_0801]

Unless your nieces are particularly fond of crockery, I think good quality bed linens would be more use. Not pretty, but starting out we tended to have one or perhaps two sets of very cheap sheets which we needed to replace every six months or so when someone stuck their toe through them. And we'd have to use sleeping bags in winter while we waited for sheets to dry :glare:

 

Rosie

[joannqn]

This sounds like a loving and generous idea....but the practicality of it has me worried. How do you pick a style of china for someone who is only a toddler right now. I'd find it hard to pick china for anyone else honestly. And even more worrisome is what if the style you pick stops being made...then you either have to scrounge antique stores/auction places and pay huge sums to finish the set...or it's never finished...and even worse, how would your neice replace broken pieces? Or, what if the pieces you buy now get damaged in storage.

 

Perhaps what you could do is put away a certain amount of money....something equal to what you'd pay for a piece/place setting each birthday/holiday/event. Then when you learn that she has become engaged you can invite her to lunch to celebrate and take her to the store to choose her set and be able to but something current.....something she gets to chose and love......and buy it all at once. When she's a teenager and perhaps cares about such things, you can tell her of her impending gift.....so she can have it to look forward to, and start to think about such things (ok, most teens who start dating probably already ARE thinking, but they're thinking practical Corelle or something, not china!).

 

Or perhaps she will grow up to be a very logical very practical type who despite your hopes could care less about china...and instead hope that she could move into her new home with some really cool electronics, a complete kitchen set, or an ultra luxurious bedroom set....and you'd be able to use the money saved for her to make that wish come true (after taking a couple dollars out to buy yourself tissues to cry into!).

 

Or maybe she'll choose not to marry and instead could really use the cash to help her finish medical school so that she can become the leader of the research team that not only cures cancer but the common cold as well! You'd have helped not just her, but mankind!

 

Ok...so I get a little carried away when I think of the possiblities of a toddler and the future, lol. Whatever you choose to do....they are very lucky little girls to have an aunt who loves them so much now that she's looking out for their future before they're even old enough to know what a future is!

:iagree:

[katemary63]

Can you imagine how things will change in 20 years by the time your nieces are married? Who knows what kind of material modern dinner ware will be made of. Crockery dishes could be completely useless by that time. Who knows. I just can't imagine collecting something like that now, for kids that young. I agree with the save-your-money idea. However, if you really, really want to collect dishes, Fiestaware would be my choice. But then, I love it!

[teachermom2834]

Thanks for the replies.

 

Yes, I understand the practically of it is lacking :)

 

This is coming from the perspective of someone who comes from a family where no one has anything, it seems. I just having matching dishes for the first time and my 14th anniversary is coming up.

 

From that perspective, I would have been more than thrilled to have a decent set of anything, even if it weren't exactly my first choice. I suspect these girls will be in the same boat.

 

I was thinking along the lines of something conservative/ non-trendy that even if it were not her taste she could sell it and get something (even if it wasn't what I paid). My thought was that it would be a loving gift, given over years and what she did with it was her choice. She can sell it all, do whatever with it- she will know that her aunt loved her very much and appreciate it...someday...maybe.

 

My perspective is skewed, I am sure, by coming from a family where no one ever had anything nice like that. My mom has mismatched Corelle and always has.

 

Fiesta was being made before I was born and still going strong. I thought maybe there were other lines like that. It seems that there is a market of collectors such that selling it wouldn't be completely out of the question. Maybe I am wrong about that.

 

I am definitely projecting what I would have liked done for me! I am trying to find something "special" in a family where there just isn't any of that kind of thing going on.

 

I agree that money put aside would be better. I'm just not sure I would follow through on that the way I would with something tangible.

 

Thanks,

Marie

[Brigitte]

I know where you are coming from. When my parents moved to the USA they bought all new stuff here and brought nothing from Belgium. We have no family heirlooms.

 

If you want to do dishes, I think that Fiestaware is the best way to go. It doesn't matter if you have lots of different colors and could be fun. The downside to dishes is that they take up a lot of space. Have you thought about buying sterling silverware pieces instead? They don't take up a lot of space, can appreciate in value, and is something that she can use everyday (silver is not just for special occassions). You can pick a simple pattern to build on.

 

Just a thought.

[3littlekeets]

Thanks for the replies.

 

Yes, I understand the practically of it is lacking :)

 

This is coming from the perspective of someone who comes from a family where no one has anything, it seems. I just having matching dishes for the first time and my 14th anniversary is coming up.

 

From that perspective, I would have been more than thrilled to have a decent set of anything, even if it weren't exactly my first choice. I suspect these girls will be in the same boat.

 

I was thinking along the lines of something conservative/ non-trendy that even if it were not her taste she could sell it and get something (even if it wasn't what I paid). My thought was that it would be a loving gift, given over years and what she did with it was her choice. She can sell it all, do whatever with it- she will know that her aunt loved her very much and appreciate it...someday...maybe.

 

My perspective is skewed, I am sure, by coming from a family where no one ever had anything nice like that. My mom has mismatched Corelle and always has.

 

Fiesta was being made before I was born and still going strong. I thought maybe there were other lines like that. It seems that there is a market of collectors such that selling it wouldn't be completely out of the question. Maybe I am wrong about that.

 

I am definitely projecting what I would have liked done for me! I am trying to find something "special" in a family where there just isn't any of that kind of thing going on.

 

I agree that money put aside would be better. I'm just not sure I would follow through on that the way I would with something tangible.

 

Thanks,

Marie

 

 

I came from the same type of family -- no traditions -- no heirlooms. So, needless to say, I have started many of my own for my kids. 2 that you could EASILY do would be yearly Christmas ornaments and keep shirts, blankets, etc from important events (first picture, christening/baptism, first day of school shirt, favorite shorts etc.) and collect those to make an heirloom quilt of their childhood. Then, when you know who they are as adults, you can build the color scheme of the filler quilt pieces to meet their own needs.

 

Good luck!

[rwjx2khsmj]

Pfaltzgraff has some nice choices. I have the plain white set called Filigree and then mix and match them with my Christmas set (Winterberry). I'm not sure they are as collectible as Fiesta Wear but the company has been around forever. There are also a ton of choices and pieces to complete a set.

 

I just had to edit and say that if you are going to start this be sure you follow through for all the potential nieces. My sil thought that she'd handpaint a set of dishes for each of her neices. My oldest daughter has a set of handpainted dishes for 7, my other two daughters don't have any. My sil adopted two children after my second daughter was born. It's easy for an adult to understand why she didn't have time to handpaint a set for the other two girls or complete the set for my oldest daughter. Children have a bit more trouble getting it.

Edited December 27, 2009 by rwjx2khsmj

[happi duck]

It sounds like you're planning to start giving these pieces as gifts now. Perhaps you could wait to start giving pieces until they are on their own or engaged.

 

Since you are planning ahead you could buy some pieces for your own set with the plan to pass those on to your nieces. Then it would be a family piece...your nieces might feel touched that you would give them part of your set. You can choose pieces that can be used with other sets like mugs, pitchers or serving dishes. That way if your nieces want to pick out their own special set they can and still use the family stuff. I hope this makes sense.

 

Here is my story regarding giving a collection: A family member started giving dd collector dolls from birth. A gift she couldn't play with was frustrating to dd when she was young. Now that she is 16 she feels stuck with these dolls she never wanted. She doesn't want to hurt this persons feelings so they are just boxed up. This person wasn't allowed more than one doll as a child and that motivated her to give a collection to several girls in her life. This is a bit different though since no one needs a doll and everyone needs dishes!

[PollyOR]

What a nice aunt. :)

 

I think a lot depends on personality. What one person may view as an heirloom, another may view as a burden (like some have already mentioned). My grandmother left me a set of china. She had several, so I don't think this one was particularly special to her. It takes up a lot of space in my tiny kitchen. Part of me feels honored by the gift and yet part of me feels like it is a burden.

 

My oldest daughter married several years ago. I was shocked at how many gifts she received and surprised at how ungrateful she seemed. She was very picky. She returned many of the items and exchanged them for something she would rather have (a different pattern, style, etc.).

 

Good luck finding something that can stand the test of time.

[Cera]

What about savings bonds? I was given a large stack of savings bonds by a family member when we got married and it was an incredible gift. She had purchased them at each milestone and held on to them so they would be a surprise when we married. I am doing the same for nieces/nephews.

[Stacie]

I come from a family with very little in the form of heirlooms. My dh's family has many, many heirlooms. He has received two sets of silverware, two complete sets of china, one complete set of crystal, a complete barware set, antique furniture, pool table, park bench, swing, and motorcycle. Add to this all of the items we received as wedding and shower gifts (china, stainless, crystal, and holiday dishes) and I'm thankful my family is not heirloom-y type people. I'd have to move out to make room for the china! :)

 

Have you thought about contributing to an educational IRA, investment account, or savings bonds for their gift opportunities?

[helena]

The girls in my family all had hope chests, I started mine at 15 or 16. Here is the pattern I collected:http://www.amazon.com/Mikasa-Harvest-5-Piece-Setting-Service/dp/B00004YNY7. My family is still using the set :). I collected all sorts of great stuff that I've kept and used over the years.

I already buy kitchen stuff for them for every gift giving holiday, they're 8 & 10. I usually pick up unique bowls, cups, and baking supplies from Anthropologie and Sur La Table. Here are some things they have:http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?subCategoryId=HOME-TABLETOP-DINNERWARE&id=873682&catId=HOME-TABLETOP&pushId=HOME-TABLETOP&popId=HOME&sortProperties=&navCount=165&navAction=top&fromCategoryPage=true&selectedProductSize=&selectedProductSize1=&color=red&colorName=RED&isProduct=true&isBigImage=&templateType=

http://www.amazon.com/Nordic-Ware-Platinum-Collection-Aluminum/dp/B0001XRPIQ/ref=sr_1_19?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1261895083&sr=1-19

My girls love to cook and bake, they also like to set tables, so it makes sense to give a little something every year. They should have a good collection of vintage and new household goodies from childhood to take with them when they move out someday. I don't think I'll start a dish collection for them, I figure they'll choose one when they get older.

I buy myself all sorts of kitchen stuff at yard sales if the price is right because I know it'll all go to the girls when they get a place of their own. Like amazing cast iron pieces, vintage teacup and saucer set etc. And I'm already keeping an eye out for antique hope chests, if I'm patient I'll find something amazing for under $100.

I personally love Fiesta Ware, I also love these:

http://www.lenox.com/cat/index.cfm?fuseaction=prod&pid=2239&kf=4 (my mom has these)

http://www.oldcountryroses.net/http://

http://www.blueandwhite.com/

 

I don't know if my kids will grow up to value these things, or take an interest in collecting domestic wares. I love these traditions, I was raised with a lot of these kinds of formalities (by wild hippies oddly enough). It's like the woman who started a thread earlier today to ask if in proper etiquette you should only write on a certain part of a note card. A lot of people probably scoff at that. I just disagree.... for me, china matters, stationary, manners, how to polish copper, how to wash an iron skillet. I think it's all preserving an art of womanhood, it's a dying language.

 

If you want something to pass on of value there's also fine jewelry, furniture, rugs, quality linens, paintings that are youthful, a lot of things can be used starting now, if their mom was open to using the pieces in their bedrooms.

 

ETA: My girlfriend who is like an auntie (and will probably never have kids) has already started passing down gold to the girls,

they love it. It's special to have that kind of a connection with someone, I hear her saying things like "maybe someday when you get married you will wear this piece, it belonged to my mother". It's not that it's based on something expensive, it's that feeling of something passing on from woman to woman.

Edited December 27, 2009 by helena

[DawnL]

When my sister and I were teens, we each got a hope chest for Christmas. And my parents started giving a practical gift each year, to put in our hope chests. Usually Tupperware, which was quite handy, but often dishtowels and such, too.

[Amber in AUS]

When I was just a baby & toddler my parents gave me a Bunnikins piece by Royal Doulton every Christmas & Birthday. I now have these and use them for my children. They are not a fancy grownup pattern, they are kiddy china which i loved receiving as a child, as did my sisters. We have all taken them with us and use them regularly.

 

My Aunt had all of my relatives put in for my engagement present and we received a full Royal Doulton dinnerset in a pattern that she selected which fitted my description of bright and colourful. She did the same for my sister who said she wanted a timeless pattern.

 

Perhaps you would be best to give something precious that could be used now by your niece but also put away a few dollars for a set of something at the appropriate time.

[Jane in NC]

I have a sister-in-law who collects china tea cups which she displays in large shadow boxes from which they can be removed for use. The cups represent her travels around the world, family heirlooms that were broken up as sets and redistributed, gifts from friends. She is not seeking matching patterns but stories and items that bring her pleasure.

 

As one who use to host tea parties using my antique Dresden tea set (which I inherited from my husband's side of the family), I can say that the little girls with whom I have crossed paths always adored tea parties. So did the big girls. I let young children use my fancy cups. They were always gracious with them. Perhaps this is a way not only of collecting something for your nieces but creating some wonderful childhood memories.

 

Jane

[Garga]

(said with regret)

 

I love the idea of what you want to do, but I'm not sure it's really going to work, for reasons that others have listed above.

 

It could be wonderful, or it could be a terrible burden to your nieces. I know that when I got married, I wanted the joy of picking out what I wanted. If someone had given me something they'd saved for years, but that I didn't really want, then 'burden' perfectly describes the feeling.

 

In reality, I would prefer the money.

[teachermom2834]

Thanks for all the ideas.

 

Just to clarify- I really am not trying to choose a pattern for them that they will love and cherish their whole lives. It would be clear that this is theirs to do with as they wish. I suspect a decent set of traditional style dishes could be sold for something and that they could use that money to buy what they want or elope or whatever. There would be no strings attached that they would have to feel burdened by. They would not receive a plate instead of a toy at Christmas. I would save them or give them to their mother until they are old enough to understand. As they got older they could even help choose pieces/ colors/ styles.

 

I am the only extended family for these girls, really. They have no family on their dad's side. My parents are living but are not well and will have nothing financially to gift them even if they are still living when these girls are grown.

So that's where I'm coming from. I can't imagine I would be in the position to take them shopping and drop hundreds of dollars at one time when they are old enough to choose but I can watch sales and pick things up here and there.

 

I appreciate all the ideas and I really am open to considering something else. I will honor what my sister would like for them as well and am asking her for any ideas.

 

It's just hard when you go into marriage with nothing, receive no substantial gifts, etc. You can end up married 20 years and not have a set of dishes or matching silverware, etc. That's the position all the women in my family have been in. That's why I am looking for the tangible "something" to start making a home whether it is a married home, single life, etc.

 

Thanks for all the input. I have plenty of time to decide. I will give their mother some ideas and let her have the final choice.

 

Marie

[Mom0012]

Marie -

 

I think it's a lovely idea! I would discuss it with the girls' mother and if she agrees, I'd do it.

 

Lisa

[Rebecca VA]

Perhaps you could offer your niece some serious training in a skill that would benefit her all her life. Cooking, sewing, gardening all come to mind. You and she could work through projects together, and each year you could give her a special implement of her skill (a sewing machine, some expensive scissors, etc.). She would thank you all of her life for the training and for the memories you created as she was growing up.

[Hikin' Mama]

It sounds like you want to bless your nieces with something special when they get married. That is so kind; they are lucky to have someone who cares so much!

 

However, this could end up causing stress and hurt feelings down the road, when you give them something you've done in love and they don't appreciate or want it.

 

My advice (worth all you paid for it : ) is to open an account just to save for dishes for your nieces. Decide how much you would spend on dishes for them and stick money in that account every month. When they are engaged, take them shopping, let them pick out a pattern, and buy the number of place settings you have the money for. Then go out to lunch and tell them how special they are to you.

 

If they are little, dishes will change a whole lot before they need them. And there is no telling what their tastes will be many years from now. There's also no way to know what the resell value will be. They could end up getting a lot less than you actually put into the gift.

 

I offer this gently. Bless you for wanting to bless others!

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

I understand the feeling of wanting something to pass down. To me, the most precious family heirlooms have been those with stories attached. When my dd was an infant I had her picture taken in a dress my great-grandmother made. I have a picture of my mother in the same dress. from time to time I look at these pictures with my dd and we talk about her great, great grandmother who made the dress, her grandmother who wore the dress, and the special day she wore the dress. When I eventually give the dress and photos to her, she'll have those memories (in the perfect future of my imagination).

 

In that respect, if I were in your place, I would rather give something that the nieces could associate with me, and that would perhaps engender feelings of familial love. I might buy a special teapot or tea set (I collect teapots, so take this fwiw) and have occasional tea parties with them. You are creating a memory there. Even as toddlers, you could have a mini-tea party with them, and capture the event in a photo. Perhaps it could be a teapot that sits on display unless that particular niece is over for a teaparty. Then perhaps you could give that particular teapot to them. They would have the uber-fancy teapot, with the sweet memories of auntie attached. That, to me is more of an heirloom than something purchased and put away.

 

One of my SIL's gives one of my sons an ornament every year. He recently started appreciating them. He looks forward to hanging them on the tree every year. they are stored in a special box inside the big xmas box. Someday he will hang these on his own tree. This is a special gift from her because he will have the childhood memories of hanging the ornaments on the tree every year.

 

I think the best heirlooms are not necessarily the most practical, but the ones with sweet memories attached.

 

ETA: As someone who is sentimental, I can understand how a savings account just wouldn't do the trick, even though it is a wonderful gesture and a very practical idea.

Edited December 27, 2009 by MeanestMomInMidwest

[Beth in OH]

I couldn't tell from your post whether you would give the pieces to your nieces one at a time or whether you would house the collection as they grow up. Give some thought to storage so as to minimize the "burden" risk of the gift.

 

I have three daughters who are older teens. Two grandmothers began collections for them when they were young--one did ornaments, the other did music boxes. Oy! Since my dd's aren't out of the home yet, I now have around 100 pieces to manage. The ornaments are pretty easy, but can you imagine displaying 50 music boxes in our home. Ack--the dusting! As a result, the music boxes are stashed wherever we can store them, which in this house is the crawl space.

 

My point is that collections grow quickly when you multiply them by the number of recipients. If you have a plan for storage before you begin the collection (which is a lovely idea, BTW), it will minimize the stress of caring for items that will not be used until the future.

 

Beth

[OnTheBrink]

Fiestaware. Yes, colors come and go, but they stick around a while before they are discontinued. I'd pick a classic color and not a trendy one, because in 20ish years, brown and lemon grass colors will be to them what mauve and teal are to us today. LOL If I were doing this, I'd get them white place settings then maybe a platter and two serving bowls in colors. Red for Christmas, yellow or purple for Easter, Orange or brown for Thanksgiving, or whatever events are important to your family or would be significant for them.

 

Also, Pyrex pieces would be good. They never go out of style and every one needs them! Fiestaware also makes bakeware, but it IS pricey, so my suggestion would be Pyrex 9 x 13, 8 x 8, measuring cups, custard-sized bowls, mixing bowls.

 

You can keep a look-out for sales all year long (FW has decent sales--check Macy's and the like) and keep an eye on ebay, too. megachina.com has excellent prices on fiestaware, too.

 

I think this is a neat idea and I think I'll start collecting things for my dd for when she's ready to be on her own!

[Danestress]

and I would choose something that is classic and beautiful, and that will match other pieces.

 

I have a lot of inherited "stuff" - china, silver, crystal. It's most precious to me because I know my great grandmother's were using it. In a way, I think collecting silver would be better than china because if you collect a classic look, it will always be loved. Even though styles change (silverware was much smaller 100 years ago, and so were dinner plates) any woman can always use beautiful pieces. Another option is to buy beautiful dessert plates and coffee/tea cups and saucers. That way, whatever else they buy, they can serve dessert with what you have given them, and it doesn't have to match.

 

If you go with china, I would not choose fiestaware. I would get them something beautiful, delicate and mostly white - that way it can be used with other china if she registers for something or inherits from her husband's family. I have beautiful Limoges porcelain that is white with a bit of handpainted gold, and it goes with other pieces. A lot of what I have doesn't match perfectly - like I have a ton of coffee cups and saucers that don't match any of my other dinnerware. But it doesn't matter. White with a bit of gold will always be nice.

[OnTheBrink]

and I would choose something that is classic and beautiful, and that will match other pieces.

 

I have a lot of inherited "stuff" - china, silver, crystal. It's most precious to me because I know my great grandmother's were using it. In a way, I think collecting silver would be better than china because if you collect a classic look, it will always be loved. Even though styles change (silverware was much smaller 100 years ago, and so were dinner plates) any woman can always use beautiful pieces. Another option is to buy beautiful dessert plates and coffee/tea cups and saucers. That way, whatever else they buy, they can serve dessert with what you have given them, and it doesn't have to match.

 

If you go with china, I would not choose fiestaware. I would get them something beautiful, delicate and mostly white - that way it can be used with other china if she registers for something or inherits from her husband's family. I have beautiful Limoges porcelain that is white with a bit of handpainted gold, and it goes with other pieces. A lot of what I have doesn't match perfectly - like I have a ton of coffee cups and saucers that don't match any of my other dinnerware. But it doesn't matter. White with a bit of gold will always be nice.

 

The OP said she was looking for something casual.

[Pippen]

(said with regret)

 

I love the idea of what you want to do, but I'm not sure it's really going to work, for reasons that others have listed above.

 

It could be wonderful, or it could be a terrible burden to your nieces. I know that when I got married, I wanted the joy of picking out what I wanted. If someone had given me something they'd saved for years, but that I didn't really want, then 'burden' perfectly describes the feeling.

 

In reality, I would prefer the money.

 

The tradition in my family was for the relatives to pitch in any buy a set of real silver for the girls beginning at their confirmation. I got the whole set piece by piece beginning at age 12. I even picked it out myself from a few choices I was given but my tastes changed substantially between the ages of 12 and 28 when I married and picked out my china that it doesn't match at all. I have good silver that looks like very good everyday stuff and a delicate china pattern. My silverware wouldn't even look good with the china my SIL picked out and her tastes are 180 degrees from mine.

 

If I were going to collect for young girls I would pick out some specialty dishes, like Christmas dishes or china or serving pieces.

Edited December 27, 2009 by Pippen

[teachermom2834]

I understand all the caveats everyone has and appreciate all the responses.

 

I certainly do not want this to be a burden.

 

I am sure a lot of this is colored by my perspective. From where my sister and I have come, we could not have been burdened by something practical and substantial. If someone had given me something like this it would have been HUGE to me even if it wasn't my favorite pattern.

 

It was really just a thought of how a young woman with practically nothing (married or not) has such a hard time getting set up and how nice it would be just to have something nice (and practical).

 

I understand preferring cash. If someone had given me cash for dishes I would have gone and bought the cheapest set at Wal-Mart and bought groceries with the rest. Cash we were given went to rent.

 

I guess I am just reflecting on how hard it is to set up a home with no extended family to give and support. I know I could set up savings accounts to purchase them exactly what they want when the time comes but I doubt I would follow through on that. I'm a bargain shopper and would likely pick up pieces here and there when I found them without dropping a bundle.

 

I see all the problems. My thinking was getting them started with a very simple traditional set of plates that would go well with different serving dishes/ extra sets of plates/ whatever to reflect their tastes as they get older. Again, I didn't plan to be emotionally attached and I intended for this to be a gift with them to do with what they wish.

 

I realize that most of you think this is a very bad idea :) I get that and will continue to think about it.

 

Thanks,

Marie

[OnTheBrink]

I understand all the caveats everyone has and appreciate all the responses.

 

I certainly do not want this to be a burden.

 

I am sure a lot of this is colored by my perspective. From where my sister and I have come, we could not have been burdened by something practical and substantial. If someone had given me something like this it would have been HUGE to me even if it wasn't my favorite pattern.

 

It was really just a thought of how a young woman with practically nothing (married or not) has such a hard time getting set up and how nice it would be just to have something nice (and practical).

 

I understand preferring cash. If someone had given me cash for dishes I would have gone and bought the cheapest set at Wal-Mart and bought groceries with the rest. Cash we were given went to rent.

 

I guess I am just reflecting on how hard it is to set up a home with no extended family to give and support. I know I could set up savings accounts to purchase them exactly what they want when the time comes but I doubt I would follow through on that. I'm a bargain shopper and would likely pick up pieces here and there when I found them without dropping a bundle.

 

I see all the problems. My thinking was getting them started with a very simple traditional set of plates that would go well with different serving dishes/ extra sets of plates/ whatever to reflect their tastes as they get older. Again, I didn't plan to be emotionally attached and I intended for this to be a gift with them to do with what they wish.

 

I realize that most of you think this is a very bad idea :) I get that and will continue to think about it.

 

Thanks,

Marie

 

I think it's a great idea. I've already spoken to EX and he agrees. We're starting this tradition with our dd this year. She'll be 12, so it seems like a good time. He mentioned that his mother is planning on starting a tea set for her, too. We're going to give her 1 place setting of FW each year for Christmas and I'm going to store it in my grandmother's hope chest. She'll receive all these goodies when she graduates from college and moves into her own place.

 

I'm so glad you posted this; I rarely come up with ideas like this at a good time, so this is one of the rare times I can do something special like this for dd and have the idea not come to me too late! :001_smile:

[melhouse]

Having always been a dish hound, I think it's a great idea.

 

You might consider Johnson Brothers Regency pattern. It is white with swirled edges. It can be combined with other patterns well, in my opinion. It's been around a very long time, and still can be found easily.

 

While, I suppose it's considered china, it's not as expensive as most.

 

HTH,

Melissa

[luvbnhome2]

I think what you are doing is very sweet and thoughtful. I am going to do a hope chest for my girls who are 7 and 12 and will begin as soon as we are employed again! I figure that even if there are items they will not use, maybe they could save them for their own children. It is an old fashioned idea and I think that is what appeals to me. There are so many choices for people today and I know that when my husband and I started out I had no idea of things such as nice dishes and was happy to use what we picked out at Target for our wedding. I was/am very practical but am so very grateful for the things that I have received from my family and my husband's family that have been around for several generations. I think that when you have children, you begin to look at things from the perspective of future generations. True, something like dishes collected by an aunt may not be something that they appreciate at the age of 18, but the time may likely come that they will see them as more than just dinnerware. As they grow, maybe have them be a part of what you are doing by taking them with you to shop for pieces and occasionally letting your neices take the dishes out and look them over. You could explain to them what you are doing and and what they are for so that the excitement and anticipation will build over time. They may one day be special to them if for no other reason than that their dear aunt spent time with them shopping for these dishes and the memories of discussions of their future lives.

[luvbnhome2]

If you do choose to collect dishes, maybe you could stress to them as they get older that these dishes are to be USED. I think that is where many heirlooms become "burdens" when for some reason or another these things have been labeled as special~as in too special to use. My MIL has sooooo many family heirlooms that she refuses to even use. My dear sweet grandmother set such a good example for her family by actually using her heirlooms and antiques. This, to me, is what makes them special. I would not care near as much to own something that was my grandmother's, but never came out of the box.

[Cera]

what about a collection of kitchen essentials rather than china? Pattern and style wouldn't be much of an issue if you went with classic pots/pans and bakeware. You could build a complete kitchen set for each of them over the years.

[Jen500]

What about savings bonds? I was given a large stack of savings bonds by a family member when we got married and it was an incredible gift. She had purchased them at each milestone and held on to them so they would be a surprise when we married. I am doing the same for nieces/nephews.

 

Great idea...this is what my grandparents did for all the grandkids. We received them when we graduated from college or something. At that point it was a wonderful gift....I really didn't want 'stuff' to carry around when I moved.

[Pippen]

If you do choose to collect dishes, maybe you could stress to them as they get older that these dishes are to be USED. I think that is where many heirlooms become "burdens" when for some reason or another these things have been labeled as special~as in too special to use. My MIL has sooooo many family heirlooms that she refuses to even use. My dear sweet grandmother set such a good example for her family by actually using her heirlooms and antiques. This, to me, is what makes them special. I would not care near as much to own something that was my grandmother's, but never came out of the box.

 

The burden to me would be feeling that I have to keep dishes I don't care for. My aunt brought home china for herself and my mom on a trip to Germany--my aunt loved it, mom hated it. She never uses it but felt stuck with it until she finally gave the whole works back to my aunt. Conversely my grandfather let me pick out my china and bought it for my wedding gift and I treasure it to this day.

 

Family heirlooms come in the to use and not to use variety. But even if they are in the "to use" category, if you don't like them they'll sit in a box somewhere and have to be stored, hauled around with every move, etc.

[MamaAkins]

Could you collect something that would have more "meaning" than usefulness? Such as collecting the pieces to a quality Nativity set (if your family is Christian)?

[helena]

http://www1.macys.com/catalog/index.ognc?CategoryID=30818&AdID=510243&LinkType=SiteAd&LinkLoc=7498&PageID=132363716537576&cm_re=61.0.6-_-DININGMAINAD-_-IMAGEMAP%20--%20510243%20--%2030818%3ADinnerware :D

I would start with purchasing a hope chest (even setting $50-$100 aside for a few years to buy a good one), that solves the problem of where to put the wares, then I would buy over the years only enough to fit in the chest. Who doesn't have room for a chest at the foot of the bed? (ok well me for starters :))

I think there's something to say for not having everything in your life be exactly what you would have picked. I think it's a little like the bridal gift registry thing, which is great for the bride and groom, and guests who don't know what to buy, but it removes a little of the wisdom of older generations.

[MelanieM]

I think you're so kind and sweet to think of your nieces and their future! Regardless of what you do, I'm sure they will know how much they are loved and thought of, and that will be so much more valuable than anything else you could ever give them. :)

 

I do want to say that I had a similar start to life as you describe; I started out on my own with a two plates, knives, forks and spoons and a frying pan from the dollar store. 16 years later I still only have a cheap set of dishes (that I really like) and not much else that would be considered valuable or worth collecting. However, I am completely happy about this! I feel burdened by too much stuff, and dislike the idea of having an attachment to physical things. Even the few items I have from my childhood feel like a weight to me, because after you keep something for 30+ years you feel like you need to continue keeping it simply because it's old! (Though I'm actually pretty ruthless and recently got rid of some clothing from when I was a baby. Shh. Don't tell my mother.)

 

I will say that regardless of my feeling around the actual 'stuff', I would most certainly feel loved if a kind relative did something like this for me. So do go ahead and follow your heart, and I know those girls will adore you for it whatever you decide. :D

[eternalknot]

It seems like you (OP) are more attached to the idea of helping than you are attached to the tangible product. You've said that you'd like to buy the kitchenware, but that you'd not be offended if the recipient chose to sell or otherwise opt not to use the gifts you've collected. I believe you. Based on that, I'd say go with your original instinct and begin collections for your neices :) what a thoughtful gesture. It gives you a way to help them in the future in a manner that is do-able (and enjoyable, if you're a bargain shopper!) today.

 

And when the time comes, if they don't need or want what you've gifted ... someone will, with your blessing. Whether that is someone they will sell it to, or gift it to themselves, your neices will know that you cared.

 

I also think it depends on your family culture. It's expected (in my family) that our first homes, even if those are dorms, will be filled with hand me down furniture and kitchenware. And it won't be our favorite patterns LOL. And that's okay. We all have to start somewhere ;)

[kls126s]

I think it's a lovely idea, and coming from a family to similar to what you have described, I know what a thrill it would be to start out on your own with a set of anything that looked nice and matched.

 

Someone else suggested Pfaltzgraff and I agree. I'd look at something like their Heritage pattern that's white and basic. As your nieces get older and you learn more about what their adults tastes may be like you can get colored serving dishes or something to mix and match with the basic dishes. Colorful table linens can change the look too.

 

I'm going to have to start thinking about something like this for my girl. Nice idea.

[teachermom2834]

It seems like you (OP) are more attached to the idea of helping than you are attached to the tangible product. You've said that you'd like to buy the kitchenware, but that you'd not be offended if the recipient chose to sell or otherwise opt not to use the gifts you've collected. I believe you. Based on that, I'd say go with your original instinct and begin collections for your neices :) what a thoughtful gesture. It gives you a way to help them in the future in a manner that is do-able (and enjoyable, if you're a bargain shopper!) today.

 

And when the time comes, if they don't need or want what you've gifted ... someone will, with your blessing. Whether that is someone they will sell it to, or gift it to themselves, your neices will know that you cared.

 

I also think it depends on your family culture. It's expected (in my family) that our first homes, even if those are dorms, will be filled with hand me down furniture and kitchenware. And it won't be our favorite patterns LOL. And that's okay. We all have to start somewhere ;)

 

Thanks! I feel totally understood :) This sums up what I'm feeling well!

 

As they get older they would know that I had it for them but it would be a relaxed thing like "yes, I've been collecting these dishes for you to be sure you had something starting out but if you don't need or want them that is fine. I just wanted to make sure you had something if you needed it..."

 

By all means, if her future MIL wants to take her out and buy her a full set of whatever she wants- she should go for it. That experience just hasn't been our family reality :)

[Alessandra]

Have you considered silver/silverplate? Not the fork-knife-spoon pattern, but serving spoons, trays, platters, bread plates, salt & pepper, candlesticks, etc. A lot of classic designs go with just about anything. They don't take much room to store & can be purchased in "antique' stores, etc. for not a lot of money (or of course you could spend a fortune).

 

I have a super abundance of family heirlooms -- but one of the things I really treasure is a collection of linen dish towels from a beloved aunt. The towels have pictures of towns where she lived, current events, etc. (She was British -- perhaps there are more linen towels over there?) But I agree with the pp who said that it would be nice to have a story to go with your gifts.

 

I also think linens of all sorts are lovely -- don't take much room to store & are often a luxury that many people never get to.

[Tap]

I think it is a thoughtful idea but may become harder over the years. Fiestaware is easy to pick now, as it is in style again, but it is hard to know if it will be in the future, and with the commonness of it, I would wonder if it would retain any value to be sold in the future. That being said, if you are leaning towards a common place setting (as opposed to formal china) it is as good of a choice as any.

 

One thing I would do, is to collect a setting in each color, rotating through and telling each child that their pattern will be mixed. You can buy a place setting at a time and know you have '4' gifts taken care of. To have an 8 piece setting, you will need to collect 32 pieces each-2 pieces each for 16 years. They will be in one box and can be easily stored. You may even be able to find discounted colors, since the colors that are popular now, may be out of style then. One advantage of collecting a mixture of the same pieces is that if one dn doesn't choose to accept your gift, they can pass them to the next (or you can buy them out), or if they are roommates, they have a single set of 'matching' dishes. Also, in case the tradition of collecting/storing each piece becomes a burden, you are more likely able to have enough to at least help one person. Another thought is if Fiestaware becomes hard to find, you can switch to another idea to pass down, but still have a complete set with what you have. I wouldn't tell them exactly what you have, as kids remember things different than adults sometimes, and a single yellow soup bowl can become a source of contention in some situations. LOL

 

 

Like others....My grandmother made handmade quilts for all of her grand kids but me. I am the youngest and many family traditions fell away as I grew up. The same can be said for not getting a wood sled (my siblings sleds are still hanging on the basement walls), and not getting a car for graduating high school, nor a contribution to a wedding. I urge you to be careful about starting a tradition that you may not be able to stick with.

 

If you have a cooperative family, it may be nice to have another family member in on your plan. They may be able to collect odd pieces like platters, different bowls or miscellaneous odd pieces. If you get enough pieces you could also use a paint like Pebeo to make inscriptions on the bottom. By doing this, if something happens to you...your thoughtfulness may be able to continued by another person.

 

 

A few other ideas is collecting simple pieces of timeless jewelry like a charm bracelet or simple gold chain/loose stones. Crystal glasses (heavy ones that can be used everyday). Savings bonds, so you can take each person shopping and let them pick out their own items.

[iammommy]

I think the dishes are a lovely idea and you should go ahead with it. It's a very touching gesture. It really doesn't matter what the girls' futures hold. I am sure they will appreciate such a loving aunt. Fiestaware sounds perfect! Enjoy the collecting! I think you're wonderful!

 

Nan

[OhM]

Haven't read all the responses - but I see that some mention that this might not be a good idea.

 

Just want to chime in - when I moved into an apartment in college w/4 other girls, my grandmother presented me with a set of dishes that she had collected in a gas station promotion, of all places!:lol: It was, needless to say, pretty cheap stuff, but we loved it! I was the only one of the four roommates who had matching "china", and we felt like right proper respectable people when we sat down to meals! It was very much appreciated, and eminently practical.

 

AND about 5 years ago at Christmas, my aunt gave me 16 place settings of oversized, very simple, white porcelain that she found for a song on clearance. WE LOVE IT! I use it whenever I entertain now! I've only had to use 12 settings so far, so we have sets of 4 still in the boxes to replace any which might chip or break (and none have so far!)

 

So I think it's a fantastic idea! Maybe you could go for a nicer middle-of-the-road set, or something very plain (like my aunt gave me?) to give them something useful. They could still select a formal set for their wedding registry.

[milovany]

I will apologize now that I haven't read the whole thread, just the original post. So if the discussion has taken a turn, please forgive me!

 

My recommendation for good, beautiful, practical dishes is Longaberger pottery. They are *spendy* but they last too. If I were at the point of getting married, this is what I'd want to collect and use. As it is, because we didn't go this route, we use Corelle, which honestly I love too (but it's not collector worthy). :)