The chubby child

[Riverfront Headmistress]

My youngest is a chubby child. Her midsection is startling big and chunky. I do keep a bit of junk food in the house, but no other members have issues with portion control. This child does. She is constantly eating or talking about food. It is almost to obsession. I too have food issues, but my are on the other end of the scale (no pun intended); the apple doesn't far from the tree.

 

What ideas can the hive offer me to get her thin without letting my issues take over?

 

Please, be gentle with your comments. This is a sensitive issue.

[Jean in Newcastle]

How much does she drink? Many kids (my dc included) do not drink enough. And many of us mistake a feeling of thirst as a feeling of hunger.

[Riverfront Headmistress]

She has one glass of soymilk in the morning and water throughout the day. She is well hydrated and none of her calories come from sugary drinks.

[LauraGB]

How old is she? What kinds of things does she like to eat the most?

[Riverfront Headmistress]

She is eight. Her favorites are lunch and dinner. Really. She barely eats any breakfast, but by 11 am she is raving. I think the biggest thing is portion control and not what she eats.

 

Yesterdays menu:

 

Breakfast: oatmeal

 

Lunch: Tuna salad sandwhich, cauliflower with dip, pear (however, this was a co-op and she "sneaks" food from her friends

 

Snack: Banana

 

Dinner: Healthy Choice frozen meal (again, a co-op day) - while I had her sister at orchestra she "sneaked" another frozen meal.

 

Today's Menu:

 

Breakfast: Smoothie

 

Lunch: Sandwhich. She wanted a sub roll (which are huge), and I suggested 1/2 a roll. Once again, she "sneaked" and ate an entire roll.

 

Snack: Pear

 

Dinner: P.F. Changs - she ate an entire adult meal (which is normal). The other girls and myself ate 1/2 an adult meal. We finished dinner at 6 pm, and now (at 8 pm) she is looking into the fridge.

 

In addition, we go to the YMCA and I make her work out with me. We take Zumba classes and I have to strongly encourage her to do them. She would rather stay home, but that is not acceptable.

Edited November 4, 2009 by Riverfront Headmistress

[Jolash]

My ds9 is a grazer. He won't eat much at a meal, but half hour later comes the "I'm starving, can I have a snack?" I've found when he "snacks" on either the portion of the uneaten meal or some protein (chicken, turkey, lunch meat ham etc,cheese, yogurt) along with fruit or bread, it sticks with him better. I should add that he doesn't have a problem with portion control, so I don't know if this will do you any good.

[gingersmom]

Can you get her involved in a sport? Swimming? Their are girls running teams (for young girls). Soccer, track.

 

My daughter is very thin and my son is just a huge kid (but not fat, height/weight proportionate).

 

Just about all the packaged food that enters my house is fat free/low fat. You can find rolls that are whole wheat (fiber keeps you full longer) and fat free cheese, etc.

 

I would not make a big deal out of it. I think that just makes the problem worse.

 

I would also make sure there are plenty of healthy snacks for her to munch on during the day. Fresh fruit and cut up veggies, yogurt (and for making smoothies), sugar free jello, sugar free pudding.

[i.love.lucy]

I instituted the portion control thing myself. What I put on your plate is all you can have. I also have a snack jar where I control what goes in it (3 snacks per day). One is something yummy, like a chocolate granola bar, one is fruit, and one is a dairy (like a cheese stick, or small yogurt). If you eat all those in one sitting, that's fine, but no more will be doled out.

 

I see the "sneaking" as a discipline issue as bad as blatant disobedience and lying. I'd work on that. She needs consequences for disobeying you, and for lying (sneaking). I don't think she needs to see the kitchen as her domain where she can help herself.

 

Sneaking food is a big problem of self-control, and now is the time to get a handle on it - as you know since you are asking. Ask me how I know (42 year old sneaky eater). It's a problem that will plague her the rest of her life.

 

Also, I wonder if the "chubbiness" is kind of a newer thing, like turning 8. My dd is getting pudgy too, as I also notice more girls getting ready to go into those tween years. If it's a newer thing, it may not be something you have to actively work on (the weight loss part).

 

I hope you get some good ideas.:grouphug:

Edited November 4, 2009 by i.love.lucy

[Teachaheart]

My youngest is a chubby child. Her midsection is startling big and chunky. I do keep a bit of junk food in the house, but no other members have issues with portion control. This child does. She is constantly eating or talking about food. It is almost to obsession. I too have food issues, but my are on the other end of the scale (no pun intended); the apple doesn't far from the tree.

 

What ideas can the hive offer me to get her thin without letting my issues take over?

 

Please, be gentle with your comments. This is a sensitive issue.

 

 

I think I was that child! And still am sometimes. :blushing:

As has been mentioned, make sure she is drinking enough water--not juice. Also, watch to see what kinds of foods she is choosing to eat most. Do your best to limit refined carbs and processed foods, and provide her with protein rich and whole foods snacks and meals. An apple with some cheese --not the processed orange slices if you can help it-- or natural peanutbutter makes a wonderfully filling snack, for example. You may find that after a week or two of eating snacks like this she begins to eat less at a time and/or less often. If she still has trouble, there may be other issues than a simple refined carb addiction or chronic dehydration.

 

It would not hurt to ask her doctor about it and maybe even request blood and urine testing to rule out anything medical if you have not done so already.

 

I would gently advise you to try and focus on helping your daughter be healthy rather than thinking of ways to get her thin. That will help you to keep your own issues from getting in the way and will help her have a healthier attitude about the situation, especially as she looks back on it later.

 

I really hope this is helpful!

[Jann in TX]

Look past traditiona 'breakfast foods' as they tend to be carb heavy and she will be hungry sooner.

 

My middle dd is a carb addict (she also has thyroid trouble). She does so much better at NOT snacking between meals if her meals are protein heavy. If she starts eating carbs her cravings will be so intense that she will 'pig out' and even 'sneak' carb-heavy snacks (or ANY carb she can find--especially bread).

[Tangerine]

From my own experience with a much younger child:

 

When DD was an infant, I nursed on demand. But she was my first, and I didn't really understand what demand was. So I nursed her every time she was upset, and I couldn't figure out what was the matter, even if it was quite clear she wasn't hungry. Comfort nursing went a little extreme for us. When she got older and was more verbal, she would ask for food every. time. she. was. upset. It was like clockwork. I could see myself so clearly in that behavior, and did not want to pass on that kind of relationship with food.

 

I read a couple of books by Aletha Solter. She is a huge proponent of encouraging children to cry when they are upset or angry, without trying to cajole them out of it, or distract them. We started to implement her suggestions, and made "getting our cries/sads/angries out" part of our life. We would sit with them and talk about what upset them, encourage them to cry if they needed, and patiently wait with them while they did. Now they just simply ask to get their cries out when they need to.

 

Obviously, your DD is much older. But it made me wonder if she is a very sensitive child, or an internalizer. Is it possible she is using food for a comfort, rather than sustenance? Maybe she has something she needs to get out and doesn't know how.

[Daisy]

Some thoughts..

 

**1) I'd discuss with a doctor. They can tell you where they fall on the chart, ideas for dealing with it, and also can rule out health-related causes such as thyroid. I'd also discuss the sneaking food with the doctor as I see this as a bigger issue than her just wanting to eat more.

 

2) I'd ditch the eating out and the processed foods. The salt in those meals is outrageous and just tends to fuel my appetite. When you do eat out, everyone gets a salad and eats that first. Immediately get a box and put tuck half of the meal away. I still make my 10yo eat off the child's menu but can see where sometimes adult choices are healthier.

 

3) I would ONLY stock veggies, fruit, small packages of nuts, celery & PB, etc. for snacks in my house. If the bad stuff isn't in the house, it can't be eaten or sneaked.

 

4) I'd make sure we were eating plenty of whole grains. They are much more filling than white sub rolls and the like. Oatmeal is good but if it's the sugared kind, you are kinda shooting yourself in the foot. When she hits a sugar-low she wants to fuel up again.

 

5) We all drink a full glass of water before every meal or snack. This is standard procedure in my house.

 

I wouldn't make these changes a huge big deal and I'd make everyone do it. "We are all going to be more healthy by...."

[LauraGB]

My dd was plump through the middle when she was that age. Chubby cheeks, round belly, not disproportioned (unless she was in a swimming suit). She almost always ate as much as an adult at that age, and then snacks, too. She ate healthy foods, like yours. Then, the hormones kicked in. Over the course of her 10th year, she is thin and lean - its almost as if her body grew into her chub. Her eating habits haven't changed much, either. Although, she doesn't eat breakfast much anymore - but she sure eats the rest of the day, often times more than I do. And she certainly eats more than almost any of her friends.

 

The reason I asked what she ate was to look for something that she was burning (or maybe even has a sensitivity to) that was causing her to be hungry. Her diet really doesn't look terribly wonky, though. And for what its worth, I don't think any of my family members would be full from one Healthy Choice frozen meal, either (and dd, ds and I are a healthy weight); we would definitely need fruit or whole grain bread or a salad/veggies along with it, were we to eat one. I wonder if she may be one of those kids who needs more protein; something heavier to keep the hunger at bay for longer. Lean meats, nuts, beans, etc. For instance, if her morning oatmeal is plain, you could cut up a whole apple, chop some walnuts or almonds and toss those in with some milk to "beef it up".

[LauraGB]

Another thing I just though of is that when my kids were about 8, I started having them assemble and cook (if need be) some of thier own foods. I usually don't keep processed foods around, so if they wanted a something to eat, they couldn't just grab and go; they had to actually do the work of assembling it. They made thier own grilled cheese, eggs, pita pizzas, etc. Of course, there were always cut up veggies for dips and whole peices of fruit available, too. I think having them have so much time and thought involved with thier food helped out a lot.

[lgm]

If you added up the calories per day, what would it come to? Same ? for grams of protein and sat. and unsat. fat. How is she getting her Vit. D?

 

For my boys, adding sufficient protein to breakfast and making sure there was a little fat was helpful...peanut butter or nutella or cheese with the fruit or veggie snack, boiled egg or whatever with bkfst. Dips were changed away from dairy to bean, pb, hummus or cheese.

 

Changing the grains over to whole grains is also helpful - oatmeal from instant to steel cut, white rice to brown rice, sub rolls from white to whole wheat or whole grain, pasta to multigrain etc. Going to carbs with lower glycemic index means that foods take longer to digest and the person feels fuller longer.

 

Is her weight way out of line with her height? I too have noticed that some gals pudge up around the middle at this age, then get a growth spurt right after.

 

I'd encourage her to be active, possibly joining swim club or whatever winter sports are available to her.

Edited November 4, 2009 by lgm

[8circles]

What ideas can the hive offer me to get her thin without letting my issues take over?

 

Please, be gentle with your comments. This is a sensitive issue.

 

I understand first-hand how sensitive this issue can be. I say this most gently... I think you need to adjust your thinking on this a bit. Is it important that she become thin or that she develop healthier (physically & emotionally) eating habits?

 

I think you've gotten some great advice. If you only have healthy options, it makes it harder to overeat. I do, however, disagree with taking away all the control she has over when & how much she eats. Don't make a big deal of the sneaking - it will only become a bigger deal than it already is, IYKWIM. I think having certain healthy snacks (apple slices, carrots sticks, etc) available on an unlimited basis would be a good thing, especially since she's already in the habit of snacking when she wants.

Edited November 4, 2009 by momoflaw
typos

[Stacy in NJ]

My eldest can tend toward the pudgy. What has really helped is 3 solid nutrious meals per day and only healthful snacks. I keep tons of veggies (avacado, bell pepper, carrots, blanched broccoli) and fruits (apple, banana, strawberries, mango) cut up and ready in the fridge. He also likes yogurt and cheese. I let him eat as much as he wants at meal times and several healthy snacks per day. He also exercises every day. He runs on T/Th/Fri, swims on M/W, and does Aikido on Saturday. If he comes to me and says he's hungary, I absolutely let him eat as long as he's eating nutrious food.

 

Although I'd like to see him a bit slimer, he gets a good bit of exercise and eats well. Overall he's in good health, and that's what really matters to me.

[Lolly]

She isn't being satisfied, so she wants more food. When I look the day's menus you provided, I first see a lack of protein at breakfast. If possible, try to provide a more balanced breakfast with foods from all food groups. The rest of the day looks pretty good, and then it jumps out that she really isn't getting fats. Pretty much everything you have named are low fat foods. Without adequate fat in her diet, she isn't going to get that satisfied feeling, and she will want more. That doesn't mean you have to feed her empty calories. Some bacon or sausage at breakfast will help. Put oil in vegetables that are cooking. Butter is excellent. (The real thing!!!) All that said, some people are genetically predisposed to be heavier/softer. It does not mean they are less healthy.

[Lovedtodeath]

I will be blunt. I really wonder if you are just being too picky because you are used to a different body type. It is a typical age for some chubbiness. I would not try to put her on a diet, or restrict food access. Most doctors would advise against it at that age.

 

Do you have an example day that wasn't a coop day? My 2 year old would eat more than a WW frozen meal!

 

If you want to work on something I would be sure that she is getting enough fat. Perhaps even get a supplement like Udos Oil, and that sshe is getting enough nutrition with a good multi supplement and/or digestive enzymes.

[OrganicAnn]

My DD is normal on the height/weight charts, but she has a belly. She often puts on a little more right before a growth spurt, then seems to thin out. Her appetite will vary greatly too.

 

 

We don't worry about anything except eating healthy and getting exercise. When I say healthy eating it is not so much about portion control, but providing lots of veggies, fruit and things like yogurt along with a balanced meal.

 

People just are built different and they change as they develop and grow. My sister was so skinny as a kid, but not as an adult and I've know pudgy kids who were normal sized adults.

 

If she feels she has to sneak food, you might already be dealing with food issues.

Edited November 4, 2009 by OrganicAnn

[KidsHappen]

All of my children eat more for than that. That does not sound like an excessive amount of food to me nor does it sound like a bunch of empty calories. Also it is not unusual for an eight year old to be a bit pudgy. That is when the pre-purberty hunger has set in but the growth (height) spurt hasn't started yet. My youngest dd has just started growing in height and thinning out some.

 

Finally I would never punish a child for sneaking food when they are hungry. I know that some people do not agree with that philosophy but many adults would have a hard time refraining from eating available food when they are hungry and it would be even more difficult for a child, especially if they are chronically hungry. IMO that would be the same as telling a starving person that they can't eat food that is given to or freely available to them.

 

Another problem is overly controlling or restricting a child's food choices. While this may work in the short term it can back fire and cause uncontrolled eating as an adult. A child will not thank you for that later. Better for them to develop a healthy relationship with food while they are young. I feel that it is important to teach them basic nutrition and the importance of the life giving and sustaining attributes of food but also allow for some small indulgances and choices that they themselves can make. As someone else mentioned, participating in the growing, choosing and preparation of food can make a huge difference as well.

 

Two things that you can do to make her feel fuller without consuming a lot more calories is increase protein content of food and increase bulk of low calorie food, (vegetables like broccoli, califlower, carrots and such.) It is very hard to overeat meat protein sources. People when generally stop eating a steak when they are full. Generally speaking people will not over eat fresh, raw vegetable like those listed above either.

 

As others have said make sure she is getting plenty of water and not too much salt. If she is too active that can cause an increase in matabolism which may cause her to eat more so don't overdo the exercise.

 

You may also need to accept them fact that she may just be genetically destined to be a heavier person. I have six children and they range in size from positively petite (extremely thin) to a little on the heavy side and everwhere in between. The were all raised in the same household with basically the same diet and the same activities levels but are all naturally built differently. It is hard to balance this with a heathly attitude towards food around here sometimes due to the fact that most of them are girls and still teens but I work hard at it.

[Sonshine]

I have a chunky young daughter. She is built like her dad and comes by some of it naturally. But I think the main reason she eats a lot is due to her undiagnosed ADHD. Some kids with that look for snacks a lot because they re bored and they have a drive to always be doing something, eating being one of the things they like to do a lot. Does she have other ADHD symptoms?

[Audrey]

I say this having been a chunky child... do EVERYTHING you can to help her curb her overeating/food obsession now. Please. It truly sucks being the fat kid. Having btdt, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. It is a very difficult thing to overcome, but even more so when you are older.

 

One thing that helped me (although I was an adult by this time) was to reverse the food load. North Americans tend to eat the smallest meal at breakfast and largest at dinner. This is not a good way to be slim. Eat the largest meal at breakfast -- fuels your day-- a moderate meal at lunch and a small meal (think soup and small sandwich, or salad, or other light fare) for dinner. This way you aren't going to sleep on a big stomach full of food.

 

Also, drink twice as much water as you think you can. Get her to carry around a water bottle and drink, drink. drink. Water flushes out your body properly. It also takes up room in your stomach.

 

Limit starches to small parts of a meal. Instead of a big plate of spaghetti and meat sauce, for example, try a small portion of spaghetti with some plain tomato sauce, a meat and lots of veggies/salad.

 

Lastly, at her age, don't let her serve herself. Don't serve any meals "family style" with big bowls of food in front of everyone. It is so tempting! Make up her plate in the kitchen and control portions that way. In fact, it wouldn't be a bad idea if you started making up each person's plate for the meal. That way, she will not feel like she's the only one, KWIM? Then you leave the remaining food in the kitchen and people need to ask for seconds. If she does ask for seconds, you can gently decline her.

 

This will probably not be an easy thing to accomplish. I wish you the best with it. My heart goes out to you and to your daughter.

[Terabith]

I'm a little worried. You have issues at the other end of the scale. My guess is that you have had problems with compulsions and fears around food, control, and weight? If that's the case, I think that maybe you should take yourself "off the case." Put your husband or the doctor in charge of this aspect of your daughter's life and health.

 

Eight is an age of pudginess. I taught third grade, and it was incredibly common during eight or nine for girls to get chubbier, and then slim down again as puberty kicked in. I'm worried that she is sneaking food. That's a concerning behavior, but I'm worried that food has become a control issue. *I* think that healthy habits are what should be focused on, and that includes food and exercise, but possibly even more so, it includes the psychological relationship with food.

 

I do think that she may need more fats to feel full. Keeping a fridge full of fruits, veggies, yogurt, cheese, etc in ziplock bags for snack. Water, ice, lemons or lemon juice, etc, and I would encourage the entire family to make hydration a bigger priority. Maybe go so far as to set "water goals." I might add a multivitamin, vitamins C and/ or D, probiotics, and fish oil to make sure there are no dietary deficiencies. I would possibly allow *more* junk food. I don't mean stocking the pantry with twinkees or serving ice cream after every meal. I know it sounds crazy. I wouldn't keep it in the house routinely or anything, but I think teaching children to have a relationship that teaches them to self control in the face of treats or desserts is an important skill. We often have fairly "healthy" desserts, with relatively low sugar like apple crumble or chocolate oatmeal cake that we serve a few times a week an hour or so after dinner, so they learn how to both not go nuts and gorge when they have the opportunity (because they might not have the idea before), and to not be so afraid of them that they can't handle it.

 

I would focus on more protein at breakfast in particular. I wouldn't beg her to eat less. I wouldn't say no. I would serve food on smaller sized plates, and I would say, "Of course you can have more if you're still hungry." I would encourage "appetizers" before meals, with water and fruits/ veggies sitting on the table for grazing. I'd try to make dinner and food relaxed, with lots of conversation, but never stressing it.

 

I'd encourage healthy exercise and fitness, though I'm not sure that forcing her to go to the gym and work out with you is the right way to go. I'd try to find activity that she loves and is enthusiastic about. You don't want her to learn to hate fitness. Does she like to ride her bike or swim? Do dance, gymnastics, team sports, martial arts? I might talk about pe as part of school, with an emphasis on learning new skills. But I confess that I'm wondering if maybe you should take yourself out of the picture for fitness as well as food. I'd definitely talk to the dr, preferably when she's not in the room. I would try to teach her to love her body, and I would maybe hand control of food/ fitness issues to your husband or the dr. With the goal of handing them over to her. :grouphug:

Edited November 4, 2009 by Terabith

[forevergrace]

Boredom, kids will eat if they are bored. I haven't read all the other posts, but, this is a problem w/my ten-year-old. I was always terribly frighten of saying anything, due to my own eating issues. But, this year I've had to say, "enough is enough." While dd was in camp, she ate her breakfast, quick lunch (for fear of missing out on something w/friends) and came home for a small dinner, before she exhaustively fell into bed. Once we started school, she wanted to eat continually. Then came the fact, that her portions were as big as her fathers. Enough is enough!! I resorted to telling her to eat at meal-time, and have fruit for snacks. She was not a happy camper. But, I also know of another little girl who is teased due to her chubby body, and it's a sad thing for her and her family. Yet, mom can't say, "enough is enough." So who really suffers, daughter or mom. Daughter will eventually know she's more then chubby.

Forevergrace

[gevs4him]

Well if you really feel she is to chunkie - talk to her Dr. (Not so she can hear) I know I require alot of protien to keep me full from breakfest until lunch. Oatmeal and fruit doesn't tie me over. When I eat oatmeal I eat 1 piece of bread with peanut butter/honey and a 6 oz. glass of milk. And my 7 yo ds eats almost every a.m. 1 homade waffle 4x4 with corn syrup, 1/2 pear and water for drink. He just went to the Dr. he weighs 75 lbs. and is 4.5 feet tall. She said he is the perfect size for a 8 1/2 year old. And my mother always says he is a little chunky isn't he :confused: He is just built very stout :) Now I do limit unhealthy snacks(candy) and make peanut butter on grams with marshmellow cream for a sweet treat or let him dip an apple in peanut butter mixed with honey. You could also try at dinner putting 1 to 2 tablespoon of all foods made on her plate then do 2nd helpings with a focus on more fruit and vegs. We do not and did not allow our daughter to help themself in the kitchen without permission until the are around 13. And if they sneak the just would lose the next snack.

:grouphug: Lisa

[BalanceSeeker]

Does she get much healthy fat? (Non-hydrogenated, such as olive oil, extra virgin coconut oil, almond butter...?)

 

I would encourage you to balance the carbohydrates with plenty of fat and protein. I have (well, had) one chunky kid, my youngest, but she is leaning out since I started cooking with more healthy fats and whole foods. My favorite addition to my cooking is extra virgin coconut oil. It's a medium chain fatty acid that is easily metabolized by the body and very good for you! (The studies done way back were done on hydrogenated coconut oil.)

 

Our bodies depend on our foods to help develop the hormones necessary for puberty, metabolism, etc. It doesn't run on fat free, processed carbs very well. There will be unrelenting cravings and a lack of feeling of well-being without enough good fats, proteins, and healthy carbohydrates.

 

Once I started making things like sprouted grain french toast dipped in omega 3 eggs, drizzled with coconut oil and a tiny bit of 100% maple syrup...she ate breakfast and was off doing something else. No more, "what else can I have???" That was a clue to me that she was missing something in her diet. We used to eat lots of standard American "diet" food, frozen foods, and processed everything. Now, for example, when I cook dinner I sautee my veggies is coconut oil and serve with plenty of protein and quinoa or brown rice and everyone is satisfied. A piece of dark chocolate after dinner and the kids are truly content. They love raw almond butter on their apples, which satisfies them for 2 hours longer that just the apples. Yes, my time in the kitchen is longer, but everyone seems healthier and happier.

 

A great cookbook to check out from your library is "Nourishing Traditions."

 

I encourage you to get rid of processed foods and frozen Healthy Choice dinners (irradiated food) and focus on real, whole traditional foods. My daughter has been eating way less ever since I changed what I buy and cook to the style I described.

 

Good luck...don't restrict her...nourish her!

[DawnM]

We are dealing with this a bit. My 9 and 6 year old boys are a bit chunky. I am overweight too and am already concerned for them. DH and my 11 year old are quite slim and even if they were offered their favorite foods they would not overeat them.

 

DH has asked me to get ALL junk food/sweets out of the house. It will not hurt the thin ones to eat healthy at all. Desserts can be made without sugar or processed junk or can be a piece of fruit.

 

The one I am most worried about is a carb junkie....he will eat several pieces of white bread with butter for a snack if I let him. So, we are also getting rid of white/processed breads in the house. Whole wheat and other types of wheat (brown rice flour, spelt, etc...)

 

We are slowly implementing this. It will mean me cooking more, but it needs to be done.

 

Dawn

[TammyinTN]

I had a chunky daughter once and this is what we did. A sample menu sort of.

 

Breakfast: eggs, bacon and a slice of toast with cut up apple slices

 

Lunch: Lean ham and turkey sandwich with lettuce, tomato and cucumbers on it. I also served baby carrots, broccoli and cauliflower with fat free homemade dip

 

Dinner: a meat, chicken breast or 1/2 steak with roasted veggie- potatoes, carrots, squash and a big salad with a slice of bread.

 

Snacks were just fresh fruits and cheese crackers or peanut butter with apple slices.

 

This really helped to make sure she was getting protein and was satisfied. I always gave her something healthy and she grew out of it. Also we had a journal for her to write in if she was upset...draw a picture..a way to vent if that was causing the desire to eat when not hungry.

[KidsHappen]

I noticed a few pps mention healthy fats which is something I forgot to mention in my post so I just want to ditto it here. These are very important for both proper body funtioning and keeping a person feeling full until the next meal. Do some research on this as well.

[Caribbean Queen]

How chunky is she? Can we get her height and weight and clothing size? I am just wondering how big of a problem this really is (or isn't)

 

I recently went to a ballet school to ask about lessons for my daughter. Without knowing anything about my daughter, the teacher said, "If she is overweight, she can still join, but she will need to lose weight in order to pass the exams." I was thinking, "Wha! Is this anorexic camp or something?" Then I found out she had an eight year old who weighed 250 pouinds in her class. Oh my, yes, she needs to lose weight.

[Riverfront Headmistress]

Thanks for all the responses/suggestions. Here are some answers and things I have gleaned from your responses:

 

• Dh can't be involved because he is in Iraq
  
• Include more protein in diet (hence, I eat high protein myself because it helps me feel better.
  
• Include more fats (see above)
  
• Fix plates instead of family dining
  

[Peela]

From what you have written her diet seems very reasonable to me- it sounds like its more her constitution type.

I have a friend with a daughter who was always chubby- quite chubby. Then I saw her after not seeing her for a couple of years- she was 15 or so, and slim and absolutely gorgeous! It seems some kids will outgrow their puppy fat.

I would be careful about making too big a deal about it, and just keep doing what you ared doing....and deal with your own issues, because whether we like it or not, they impact on our kids, even if we say nothing.

[Lovedtodeath]

Don't forget to use small plates. It makes a big difference in calories consumed, even when seconds are allowed. I already knew that, then I saw a study about it on food detectives. :)

[iteachmine]

Is there a specific kid's sport or activity that she can do on a regular basis? Something that she's interested in. Perhaps soccer, cheerleading, gymnastics, swimming. Activity and exercise will go a long way.

 

Just my $0.02.:001_smile:

[Riverfront Headmistress]

We already use small plates; in fact, I was brought up on the small plate diet.

 

Sports: We are active members of the YMCA where we work out. Zumba, yoga, pilates, step. However, she is not involved on a sports team because I don't have time for organized sports at this time in my life. With my husband being deployed, there are only so many things/places I can get my kids to - orchestra, music lessons, co-op, field trips...heck, even the grocery store wipes me out. :)

[Tess in the Burbs]

well, couple of ideas. My sister was the chubby kid and I was the skinny kid. We are now opposites as adults :-) She's barely a size 0 and I have been overweight since I graduated college. So she's not destined to always be this way.

 

if you want junk food in the house and you think it's a portion control thing then make portions. You are the mom! Put it in bags as soon as you buy it. Allow one serving of junk food a day. your call on when and if they are required fruit/veggie before.

 

I had the kind of metabolism as a kid I could eat anything and my Dr encouraged it. but my poor sister didn't and she paid the price of the free eating in our household. It wasn't fair to her. She's now anorexic/bulimic (depending on the year) and over exercises with very little food intake at all. She looks so much older than I do even though she's thin b/c she's killing herself to be so thin. I think to be fair to the child you have to demonstrate portion control yourself as well as others in the house regardless of who can eat like that or not. I went into college still free eating and it caught up with me!(i have medical issues as well but portion control was not in my vocabulary and the initial weight had to do with overeating)

 

Hope you find a balance.

 

my other idea is to find healthy snacks she likes and let her prepare them in portion control bags to eat anytime. Encourage her to try new foods(fruits/veggies) and have them on hand.

 

good luck. You are wise to make the changes now so she will have them for life!

[Terabith]

If husband is deployed, I think I would still hand over guidance of this area to her doctor. It really seems to me, if you have a history of disordered eating, that this is sort of a recipe for disaster.

 

I know going to the Y and working out is good for you. What does SHE like to do? I honestly would try to make ENJOYABLE physical activity for her a big priority. Dragging her kicking and screaming to zumba class is likely to be sort of counterproductive and not associate happy attitudes with fitness. I really think the psychological ramifications of healthy eating and exercise and self concept are the more important issue right now.

 

What does the dr say?

[newbie]

Mine oldest was chubby til 12, than she spurted, stretched out and got thin.

 

I guess it was a phase. I did take her to specialist and the nbr 1 diet change was drinking habits. He put her on water only. No juice or milk, just water.

 

We are all on that diet still.

[ElizabethB]

:grouphug:

 

When my husband was deployed, the grocery store made me tired, too.

 

Actually, it still makes me tired on some days even when he's home!

 

I noticed the soy milk--does she have allergies? I started having food allergies about 4 years ago, and the allergies made me crave more food and retain water. When I went on an allergy elimination diet, I lost 40 pounds without working on it at all, it just came off, eating things I was allergic to was causing me to overeat and crave food. She may have developed an allergy to soy and perhaps even a few other things if she's allergic to milk and you have switched to soy--soy is very allergenic.

[kalanamak]

 

What ideas can the hive offer me to get her thin without letting my issues take over?

 

My mother put out certain amounts of food. If we ate everything ( and we always did), there was custard for dessert, sometimes. We were not allowed to eat anything an hour or two before her meals, which were on the dot, so as not to "spoil" our hunger.

 

The rest of the time, there was always a bushel basket of apples, oranges or grapefruit, depending on the season, in the pantry. I can remember eating 10 grapefruit in one sitting, at about age 10, until my front teeth tingled. ??Maybe try the whole fruit idea?? Fill up up up, but on something you have to chew and digest?

 

(Oddly, when I was preggers, I gnawed lemons and other sour citrus.)

[Sherry in OH]

Have you looked at My Pyramid.gov http://www.mypyramid.gov/mypyramid/index.aspx ?

 

If you plug in her age, sex, weight, height, and activity level, you will see the "recommended" number of calories and amount of each food group she should be consuming. You could then check this information against her diet to see whether she is really overeating or if your perception of what she should be eating is skewed.

 

She needs protein in the morning. A hard boiled egg, cheese cubes, or a slice of whole wheat toast with nut butter would be good additions to the oatmeal. If she doesn't like to eat breakfast, offer it as a mid-morning snack. Include moderate amounts of healthy fat in her diet. Her brain needs the fuel.

 

She may need more fiber, try to make her breads/grains whole grain whenever possible. Whole grains are more filling and take longer to digest than highly processed grains. A healthy choice meal is not filling. Leftovers or soup and a sandwich might be better choices.

 

Her diet appears to be lacking in calcium and possibly vitamin D. If she is lacking in essential vitamins and minerals her body is programmed to continue eating in an attempt to get the nutrients.

 

If she is meeting the recommended guidelines for food consumption, try having her drink a glass of water then waiting 10 minutes. If she is still hungry after 10 minutes, she may have a snack. The same thing can work at meals. After she eats what is initally placed on her plate, have her drink some water and wait. If she is still hungry, then give her more food. Others have mentioned that she may be about to enter a growth spurt. Also, some days she just may be extra hungry. She should not be punished for being hungry.

[WishboneDawn]

 

What ideas can the hive offer me to get her thin without letting my issues take over?

 

Please, be gentle with your comments. This is a sensitive issue.

 

My two thoughts are:

 

Work to overcome your own issues in case she's noticing it. This is obvious and you're probably already addressing it.

 

Don't make it about thin or fat. Make it about enjoying food and healthy living. She may be a chubby person and there may be nothing you can reasonably do to address it. So ignore that and don't make any fuss over it. Instead, make sure you're doing lots of baking and cooking with her. Take her shopping, discuss nutrition and menu planning. Help her see food removed from any value judgments. Make sure she sees the work that goes into producing a meal or snack. Then keep her physically active. Lots of walking or maybe some sports. Stuff she enjoys.